 The Avident Castello Program brought to you by Camel, the cigarette that's first in the service according to actual sales records. See if your throat and your taste don't make Camel a first with you too. Find out for yourself. The Freddie Regions Orchestra, the swingy songs of Connie Haynes. And with Halloween past approaching, we remind you of the time Frankenstein met Dracula and said, Hey Castello, where have you been? What? Where have you been? Why are you all dressed up tonight? Oh! Did your cousin Hugo have a military wedding? Ration books? Her ration books? Yes. Lying side by side on the kitchen tables? Yes. That is... Side by side. Side by side. Ration books. That is romantic. Ration books side by side? Yes. That's the biggest toll I'm going to drill right here with my wife. There's no more. I'll guarantee it. Hey, wait a minute. Idiot, do it alone. All right, look, look. By the way, who gave the ride away, Castello? Huh? Who gave the ride away? Well, don't you know it's your own cost? I mean, who let her down the aisle? Nobody had a leader down the aisle to meet her... Hugo is the spouse. Her spouse? No, she... We'll say Hugo is the groom. He got married too. Oh, now wait a minute. How could he be the groom before he got married? He took care of the gentleman's horse. I... Well, give it. Okay. Never mind that. Look, how did the ride look, Castello? Was she wearing a corsage? Abbot, how can you ask me such a thing? I'm only a young boy. Oh, now look. I'm only asking you... I'm only asking you if the ride wore a corsage. No, with her shape, she didn't need one. No. Look, Castello, you saw the ride. The kind of clothes did she wear. Oh, she had a beautiful torso. Torso? Yep, torso. No, no, no, no, Castello. You mean trusso. Did you see her trusso? Who wasn't there? Well, listen, I'll explain it to you. When the bride came into the church, did you notice her train? What train? She drove up in a second-hand climate. No, no, no. I'm talking about the train on her dress. Now, with every bridal dress, you get a train. What store is giving those away? I bought a suit once. I got a baseball bat and a catcher's mitt. But I never got a train. No, no, no, Castello. Yes, when the... Look, when the... When the bride walked into the church... Now, listen to me, please. When the bride walked into the church, was she dragging anything behind her? Yeah, my cousin, Hugo. Oh, yeah? No, no, no. Did you see that long, white piece of goods hanging from her dress? Oh, yeah, I saw that. Well, that was her train. That was her train? Yeah. I tripped over that thing and tore it off. You tore off her train? Yep. How did the bride look without a train? She looked like a late freight with a loose... Castelli, you're not fit to talk to an idiot. Okay, then I'll have to write you notes. Castello, will you shut up? All right, all right. Shut up. I'm just in for wanting to know about this wedding. Now, listen to me, please. I'm still thinking about your $75 that we have in the bank. Yeah. Now, we're going to make that money. Will you listen to me, please? Right around here. Right around here. All right, now we're going to take that money. Look at you. Yes. We're going to take that money and open a matrimony agency. You're going to open up a matrimony agency? That's what we're going to do. Not me, Abbot. I'm going to be responsible for sticking guys with modern laws. Oh, what's wrong? Not me. What's wrong with modern laws? It's a wonderful thing. Maybe, but I don't like the part where they throw the rice. They threw rice at my cousin Hugo today. And it's too messy. Oh, come, come, come. It's too... Don't you like the old-fashioned unions? No, they hitch me all over. No, cut that out. Please, you're... And where doesn't fit our conversation? My under... Castello, there's no use for arguing. I've made up your mind. You're going to take your $75 and open a matrimony agency. You can't make a fortune by uniting people in bonds of matrimony. The bonds of matrimony? Sure. Are they anything like war bonds? No, matrimony has nothing to do with war. That ain't the way I heard it. And besides, Abbot, we've got our money nowadays in order to get married. Oh, that's ridiculous. Do you know what I... I was getting when I was married. The same thing happens on an aircraft carrier off the Philippines and in the fighting beyond Arkansas. And then, too, people at home are smoking more than ever before. So, unfortunately and unavoidably, there will be times when your dealer has to say to you, sorry, no camels today when you ask for them. But remember this, camel's kind, cool, throat-easy mildness and camel's rich, full, fresh flavor make camels worth asking for again the very next time you buy cigarettes. C-A-M-E-L-M. Camels, the cigarette of costlier tobaccos. Sir Freddie Richett, his musical matchmakers play the very thought of you, featuring the trumpet of Paul Guile. Do you like the office, though? I like the office. This is our new matrimony agency. And your door says, I'll answer the phone. It might be a reply to the matrimony lab that I put in the papers this morning. Hello, hello, hello. Aberdeen Costello's matrimony agency. If you furnish the money, we'll get you a honey. Say, do you think you could find me a wife? You see, I've got to have a wife. I've got two million dollars. I'll give the girl a million dollars and I'll give you a million dollars for your fee. A million dollars for me? Oh, boy. Can't come over. They won't let me out of here. But I'm all right, I tell you. I'm all right. Paper, did you put that ad in? It's just called up. The DC 53, he says. Nothing tastes so good. It's a gentleman with bottle of... He's a silly dope, not martini's matrimony. Does everybody want to marry me? Proposition, no. Has your niece got any money, Ken? Oh, marry him? Oh, now, isn't that cute? How old is she? A 57. But look, Ken, Costello doesn't want to get married. But we'll be glad to find a husband for your niece. Oh, that's wonderful. But she's right out in the waiting room. Shall I bring her in? You better wheel her in. If you'll just leave $100 as deposit, if you come to my house at eight o'clock this evening, I will show you a happy family. Myself, my wife, and our little boy. Oh, brother Sebastian, 50 cents to pretend that he's my son. I don't want you to tire your itty-bitty army. I'll help, too. $100, you know that. In your honor, Corporal Tru, the makers of camels are sending to our fighters $0.00 free each week. In this country, the camel caravans, traveling from camp to camp, have thanked audiences of more than 4 million yanks with free shows and free camels. Camel broadcasts go out to the United States three times a week, a short wave to our men overseas and to South America. Listen tomorrow to Jimmy Duranty and Gary Moore, Monday to Bob Hawke in Thanks to the Yanks, and next Thursday to Abbott and Costello. And all we want to say, folks, is bye-bons. Bye, Plenium! See for yourself how camel's mildness, coolness, and flavor are fixed with you. He takes a certain famous red package out of his pocket. His nostrils thrill to the rich aroma of fresh tobacco. His fingers notice how firm it packs in his pipe bowl. He likes a match, and ah, what a fragrance. What a flavor, too. Mellow and full-bodied, but mild and so tongue-gentle. Someone near him says, say, that smells good. What are you smoking? And he says, what I always smoke, Prince Albert. Well, that man is really millions of men all over the map, because more men smoke Prince Albert than any other tobacco in the whole wide world. And price as well as pleasure is one of the reasons, for there are around 50 thrifty pipe bowls in one regular two-ounce package. Start on PA Today. For Camel Cigarettes, it was directed by Dick Mack, and this is Ken Niles, wishing you a pleasant good night from Hollywood.