 Okay, so reading from 1 Corinthians 9 and verse 24 onwards, right, 24, and particularly verse 27, verse 24 says, Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the price, run in such a way that you may obtain it? And everyone who competes for the price is temperate in all things. Now, they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore, I run thus not with uncertainty, thus I fight, not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection less. When I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified. So in these verses, some very important lessons, some very wise principles for ministry, for the walk of a believer. It says, run in such a way that we may win the price. So it's not talking about a casual jog without any sense of, it's talking about life. Not that we cannot be relaxed or have some leisure, but it's generally saying that run in such a way to win the price. Meaning, let there be an objective, let there be a purpose in how you live. And it says, talks about the lifestyle of the one who is running a race is temperate in all things, which means discipline. And if you look at that person who is actually so disciplined to win a perishable crown, how much more? Because we do it for an imperishable crown. And verse 26, I run in this manner, not with uncertainty. I run with certainty. In other words, this is how I fight, not as one who beats the air. Not as one who was doing some shadow boxing, but so that, but I fight in this manner that everything counts. I hit the mark every time. And verse 27, I discipline my body and bring it into subjection. Lest when I've preached to others, I myself should become disqualified. So he's reminding himself and he's reminding the College of Church. This is how I live. This is how I serve. I serve as a minister, I share, I preach. But the secret of longevity in ministry is this, that I discipline myself, I discipline my body and bring it into subjection. Which means doing certain things, even when you don't want to do it, when you don't feel like doing it, that is discipline. Like doing when you don't want to do it, doing or not doing certain things when you actually can. That is disciplining his body and bring it into subjection and the longevity of ministry. So there are some things for us to personally apply in our lives. And yeah, let's, more than anything, let's put this into practice in our own lives. Let this serve as a reminder for those of us who run this race. Let's pray. Father, we just want to thank you for this reminder, God, to run in a way to win the price. Yes, Lord, to run with certainty. To fight, Lord, as not one who beats the air but with certainty. Yes, Lord, and also God to discipline ourselves, Father God. Even in the process of preaching and sharing and teaching and ministering and in various ways that you've called each one of us, Lord. And just to live the life of a believer, Lord, I pray, Father God, that we will discipline ourselves, Lord, and bring ourselves into subjection. God, that we might do those things that you've called us to do and hold back with hold from not doing those things of other God, even when certain things are permitted. And Lord, I pray that we will discipline ourselves to live in a disciplined manner, enable each one of us to do that, strengthen each one of us today. I just pray for strength today, Lord, strengthen our wills, strengthen our Godly desires, God. Yes, Master, let there be a refreshing, let there be a renewing, even today, God, even as we seek your face, God, let there be a refreshing today, Lord, right now, God. A new sense of purpose, God, a certainty, Father God. Yes, Lord, establish our path, so, Father God. Master, for the short term, for the long term, God, establish us, God. A renewed sense of purpose and goals and objectives, Master. We thank you. We thank you, Lord. We thank you. Lord, we give you all the praise and glory at this time, even as we come to this day into your mighty hands. Jesus' precious name we pray. Amen. Amen. Amen. Praise God. Yeah, so let's look at, last class we looked at some of the videos, the teachings of John C. Maxwell and relating to people. We looked at those principles and very interesting, a lot of things that we can glean from, a lot of things we can actually put to practice, very practical things. So today we look at, you know, on the same lines, we look at something that will actually help us in our relationship with people in building and really leveraging our relationship with people is this whole aspect of trust, trusting others. It is not just trusting others, but mutual trust, you know, allowing ourselves to be trusted or presenting ourselves as those who are trustworthy. Okay. So trust is both ways that we trust others. And also to ask and to live in such a way, to ask ourselves, you know, am I trustworthy? And to live in such a way that others are able to trust us. And, you know, like this topic, title of this topic is Building Mutual Trust. So it is something that is built, it is something that is built over time. There's something that can be broken, but it is also something that can be rebuilt or restored. Trust is very, very essential for our relationship. Any relationship that we can think of, trust is very important. And it is a foundation. It is the glue, it is the foundation that strengthens any relationship. So we're going to look at a few principles again from John C. Maxwell's book, Winning with People, to look at how we can build trust. That will help us to build trust. Now trust doesn't come easily, especially if we have grown up in an environment where trust was not, you know, where it was, it was not an environment where we were trusted. It was not an environment where we could trust others. So trust is not something that comes easily to, you know, if one grew up in that kind of an environment. So we begin to look at everyone in a very distrustful manner. We look at everyone through the lens of mistrust rather than trust. And therefore, even if people did not trust us, we struggle trusting ourselves because our confidence has been completely shaken. Our confidence has been completely messed up. So we are not able to trust others as well. So in such situations, we find it very, very difficult, very challenging to trust. Maybe to some extent, but we always view others with suspicion. So what happens is in any kind of relationship, we distance people from ourselves. We don't want to draw near to people because that requires trust. We don't want to let others draw near to us because we see ourselves as people who are not worthy of trust. And therefore, we don't want to open up our lives to others. So that becomes a problem. And this whole thing about trust becomes a very, very big challenge. There are a couple of ways by which we can view people. For some, let me just put it in the chat. We say that you are guilty, unproven, innocent. That's how we view people, that's how we view everything. With suspicion and with mistrust. You are guilty. I'm going to see you as someone who is guilty. I'm going to look for proof. I'm going to look for evidence. And that's going to slowly change my opinion of you. That's going to change my whole outlook of mistrust. That's going to change all this. This trust is going to be changed into trust, but I want to see evidence until I want that proof. And over a period of time, we don't know how long that will be. Over a period of time, then you can be proven not guilty. I'm going to give you that verdict that you're not guilty. That's one way of functioning. The other one is innocent until proven guilty. Innocent until proven guilty. I'm going to trust you. I'm going to respect you, honor you. I'm going to declare you as innocent until or otherwise. There is something that happens contrary to what I believe. And then my opinion, everything will change. Then I can say, okay, yeah, in this case, in this situation, that you were guilty of this. Now in the first case, it's a very difficult, challenging, stress-filled relationship. A stress-filled interaction because you are always going to go with that filter that you are guilty. The other person is guilty. That is the filter always that you have to prove yourself. You have to prove your work. You have to prove the fact that you can be trusted, that you are innocent. That mindset is going to severely affect the relationship. Every interaction, every conversation, this will be an underlying factor. I can't trust. You have to be analyzing, dissecting everything, motive, checking on the motive of the person. Why is this person saying this? Why is this person doing this? And 101 other questions. We're going to think each and everything. We're going to doubt the motive. So it's going to be a very stress-filled interaction. I don't know if we have such people on our list. There we are constantly saying you are guilty until you are proven innocent. That's not going to really help in a relationship. Help take the relationship to be a win-win relationship. It's going to be hard. It's going to be difficult for us and it's going to be difficult for the other person as well. The other person is also thinking and constantly on the back foot, constantly on the defensive. What is this person thinking now? I've done this or I've made a small mistake but now this person is going to think that I cannot be trusted because of this. Maybe it was a genuine mistake because of this. It was a slip-up. It was a human error but motives were clear but this person is not going to trust me. So it's going to be very, very difficult for the other person in the relationship as well. When I say relationship, because I'm talking about all kinds of relationships, maybe informal family covers everything. Of course, in Christian leadership, we have to be looking at teams or ministry teams or working with people in the ministry and so on. So it could be semi-formal and formal. So the best way is to, as we see in the exaltation of scripture, to esteem others better than ourselves, to give others a clean sheet and if there is evidence to the contrary to continue to work on them. The thing we do is if we find faults, if we find areas that we cannot trust, where the trust is broken, the other extreme is what we do and that's not helpful. In the sense we say, okay, that's okay, that's okay. And we kind of brush everything away without addressing the root of why things went wrong. And the other thing that we saw confronting, we do not confront with care but rather we do not confront at all. We kind of escape from that situation because we don't want to confront and we just kind of hope that things will get better if we ignore it. And so the whole thing continues over and over again till there comes a point that beyond any kind of correction or change, the mistakes have proved to be very, very costly. So that's not the right way of establishing or functioning in this principle. So let's look at, I just wanted to share that by way of introduction. Let's look at some of the principles that will help with building mutual trust. Let me just share the notes. So there we have it. First one is what is called the bedrock principle, meaning a bedrock being a foundation, something that is unmovable, very strong, unshakable. So since we know that trust is the foundation and something that is very essential, it's like oxygen for a human being to breathe. So we become a person of trust. So we become the person of trust where rather than first of all focusing on the other person, we present ourselves or we become, we work on ourselves to be people of trust. So in Hebrews 13, 18, pray for us, we assure that we have a clear conscience and desire to live honorably in every way. The writer of Hebrews talking about oneself and the team, that we have a clear conscience, pray that we have a clear conscience and a desire to live honorably in every way. So our motives are pure, our motives are honorable, and that we become people others can trust. So we build that quality in us. And we know that when there is a slip up, it takes time. Trust, by nature, we are suspicious. By nature, we do have our misgivings when it comes to people who throw in all those experiences of life and whatever we have gone through in the past. So we have that combination of things that we view life through. Whereas when you look at a child, child is very trusting. Trusting the parent unless that is severely broken. So becoming a person of trust. So I just want to ask us, maybe we can discuss it. So how does one become that? How does one become that? How do I become? Look at ourselves and ask yourself that question, am I a trustworthy person? Deep down, we know that answer ourselves in every situation and people trust us. Maybe even before that, we could ask the question, can I trust myself? If I were to employ me, if I were to recruit me in my team, would I entrust critical tasks? Would I entrust things that require huge responsibilities which require maybe care, which require a great deal of effort and everything? Would I trust me with it? That's a very important question. Would I trust me to be disciplined enough? Would I trust me to be punctual enough? Would I trust me to be careful enough to carry out? So would I recruit? Would I clear the test? We need to ask ourselves. And if there are some areas that need change, so we can trust ourselves and we can work on it. Rather than brushing it aside, we can work on it. So maybe in interactions with people, we can ask that honest question, was I a trustworthy person in this relationship? Did I behave? Did I do things, say things so that people could trust me? Did I, with my whole life, with the core of my being, can people trust me? That's a big thing. Some people will interact. There is immediately a sense of comfort in our spirit. We know that there's a place of safety. We can get trust. We can, with our lives, with the information. And probably we've seen that. So there are some things that I can trust this person with. There are some things that I can completely... Sorry, just a minute, please. So there are some things that I can completely rely on. This particular area. Oh, yes. And there are some things we see that I cannot trust about this particular thing I cannot. For example, it could be an area of maybe... Let's say people showing up. A task is given and people need to show up at a particular time to carry out and do it. And then you know that that person will show up. That person will be there and carry it out. And maybe there are certain things that you cannot... You see that as an area which is still being developed in that person. There's something that you cannot trust and trust to that person. Maybe it's an area of weakness, an area that the person is still working on. And we've seen that. So in a similar manner, can that person trust me? We are good at looking at others and analyzing. And we need to do the same thing with us for ourselves. And not just analyze and we see and then maybe we see that this is an area of growth. It's good to see that as an area of growth rather than this is a problem or this is a weakness and this is not changing rather than have that view to see that this is something that needs change. This is something that needs to grow. I need strength in this area. So we kind of identify that and I'm sure that we'll be able to do that. We need to be honest and not just analyze and leave it at that. Many times we do that analysis and then they call it the analysis paralysis. Just keep analyzing, keep looking, keep reflecting and just looking inwards, looking inwards and then we are in that place. We're not going beyond that. It's good to reflect. It's good to honestly take a look and just like that mirror, take a look at ourselves and say, okay, what do I see now? And the important thing is to see ourselves like we've been learning through the cross of what we have become, positionally what we have become. So therefore in the light of that, I see these areas that need to be renewed. I see these areas that need to be built and I need to change and go about changing it. I go about working at it because it's very important this issue of trust. So how do I go about doing it? Be a person of our word. That's the thing. Let me say that this is something that I will do or this is something I will look into. This is where I will be. This is something that I can, when we give our word, that's a simple way when we hold on to it. When we do that, when we actually do it, then trust is built. To be consistent. If we are consistent, then we can be sure that trust is built. That people are able to trust us. When people, let's say, when we promise, when we make a promise, we deliver that promise. When we do that, then trust is built. Or if you are not able to say that we are not able to. So honesty and truthfulness really helps the trust. So the person can say, at that moment when we are honest and being very truthful to the other person and saying things as it is, it can be hurtful. It can be difficult. A difficult thing for the person to receive. But that person knows that this person, this man, this woman, can be trusted. Because they don't hold back from speaking the truth. They can be trusted. So the Bedrock principle, the fact that we need to be trustworthy because trust is the foundation. So when we have that quality, then it makes it easy for people to work with us. It makes it easy for people to work with us in the sense that people can actually go the extra mile. People will be willing to go that extra mile. People will be willing to take on that little extra or even sacrifice certain things to get things done because they can trust. And there's a level of comfort in that relationship. There's a great deal of comfort in that relationship. Knowing that this person will not damage me or do anything to hurt me behind my back will not say anything behind my back to hurt me or undermine me or damage the cause. This works both ways, either with people whom we report to, people who oversee us and with people whom we oversee or with people who report to us, people whom we work with. Excuse me. So it works in both ways. So this is something that is very, very important. To extend grace and the God kind of love in difficult circumstances and difficult situations. That also builds trust. Understanding why it was done, understanding the motive behind something to actually communicate that and extend the grace. When people slip up, when people make mistakes, either intentionally or unintentionally, the thing is to confront, to bring it up, to talk about it and to clear the air about it and then move on. Extending grace, extending love and also being accountable. Being accountable, the person being accountable to it and holding them accountable to it but moving on. That also is important for building trust. So let's look at second thing, which is the unknown situation principle. I just mentioned that extending God's grace and love here. The situation principle is to be objective in assessing the issues in a relationship. So what does that mean? It involves emotions, it involves a certain amount of subjectivity because we are dealing with people and we can say that these are the things because of which they did it. This is the reason for which they actually did it right or did it wrong and so on. But we need to be objective in it in a sense not be biased. There is a tendency to lean towards maybe if someone is, let's say someone is close to us. Someone is close to us. There is a tendency to maybe let bias filter our assessment of things. But we need to be objective. We need to be objective. We cannot be partial at the same time. We cannot also ignore facts and go to and jump to conclusions. Having said that, we know that there are times when we need to be objective and at the same time we need to extend the grace to people even as we are being objective, even as we are assessing the situation, the facts and everything in the relationship and saying, okay, this thing has gone wrong or this thing is, it went wrong. There was a problem because of this, this various factors. But at the same time to not just consider the process but also consider the people. So objectivity helps in stating this is where the problem lies. And we need to know for ourselves when being objective and say, okay, this is where the problem is. In this relationship, maybe it's a problem with me. Maybe it's a problem with the other person. Maybe this is where the problem lies, being objective. But not stopping there but also to go beyond that and extend and look at people as people. Which means that we extend that grace, we extend that love because of that situation. And there are times when certain decisions need to be made and it can be tough. But we still relate to people as people and go beyond that process. For example, maybe there is a, let's take an example of a trust being broken. Well, maybe there was a, maybe there was a misappropriation of money, misappropriation or money being taken and used in a manner that was not supposed to be or something not recorded the way it was supposed to be. That is a situation. Well, when we look at things in an objective manner, the whole situation, well, the reality is this mistake was made and it was a critical mistake and it resulted in this. So let's not gloss over it. So we look at it and we say this was a problem and it's a problem because of someone's model or lack of integrity. And that needs to be stated. That's being objective, that's being truthful, that's being honest. But what will actually help build trust is to tell the person that this will result in a consequence. And this is it. It might be maybe that person not being given that responsibility, not being given that role, maybe that person being relieved from that responsibility. If it's a very serious offense, all that is possible. And that's a judgment call and that's a decision that needs to be taken. But beyond that, to extend grace to that person and say that let's continue to be in touch, let's continue to work, let's continue to work at this so that the situation can be redeemed. To say that, yes, you cannot be reinstated or put in place immediately, but I'm willing to work with you if you are willing through a process of restoration. So that would build trust. It's a difficult thing. It's a difficult situation. But that grace being extended to that person will build trust. So that's the second principle. We call it the situation principle. Now, the situation demands objectivity. It demands certain decisions to be taken as a result of that objectivity, as a result of objective assessment. But go beyond that and extend the grace. So, you know, Ephesians 4 verse 15, speaking the truth in love. Okay, speaking the truth in love that we may grow up in all things into him who is the head Christ. So speaking the truth, very important. But speaking the truth in love, very challenging. Many times we can speak the truth but not in love. Speak the truth but not with grace. Speak the truth, truth hurts. Truth is sharp by itself. But when it's not sealed with grace, when we do not deliver it in grace, when we don't deliver it in love, then it kind of, the whole situation disintegrates. The relationship disintegrates. It's either one or set right certain things in place or even corrected that process. But because of lack of love, because of lack of grace extended, the relationship, the human aspect of it sometimes is irredeemable or maybe takes years and still it will be irredeemable. I remember a couple of situations that come to mind and one is about this person who actually was, I mean it was not a very serious thing but this person suddenly said that I just want to quit the church. I just want to quit the church, I just want to quit the team and the reason being, whatever is being preached, there's too much of love and too much of grace and the whole church not being strict enough. What he was mentioning was, what he was actually coming to us, not really condemning people, not being harsh on people. So I just decided, okay. There was something, okay, we look at the whole situations like, okay, this is what it is and the fact is that, yes, we've been talking about grace but also we've been stating the truth of what it is and I didn't see anything different but just requested time to just talk about this, talk through this because the mind was already made up. So we said, okay, fine, let's talk about it. So we just talked about it and you're able to say that, okay, this is what you need to do, fine, just go ahead and you can take that decision, you can move on but I just want to present you with certain things. This is and the fact of, okay, what we've been teaching, what we've been looking at and why are you feeling this way and a very objective look at the whole thing. You might be looking at it this way, have you considered this and maybe this was your upbringing, this is where you've been from and all that and at the end of it, I said the decision is up to you, you can go ahead and it's fine but this is what it is. If you'd like to reconsider, you are always welcome. So it took some time, even with this whole situation, it took some time but at the end of it, he was able to come back, he was able to be restored and the relationship continued and the relationship was strong and even today, when I look at it, it's still serving and in an even greater capacity, an even greater responsibility. I know this example seems not really aligned to what we're looking at but the fact is that there was a building up of mutual trust because we were able to be, one is we did not gloss over the thing both from his side and my side, we looked at things in a very objective way, we said okay, this is what the situation is, when it comes to why he's looking at the church in this manner and I was able to also present some facts and then we were able to move beyond that. So all that to say that we need to extend grace, if the situation is unlike this, if it's a very serious one, we need to extend grace and go beyond the conclusion that we come to having an objective assessment. So that's the second one. Before we go on to the third one which is the Bob principle, this is again a very interesting one. Any questions? We'll look at just one more before we close the session. Any questions, anything that you might want to add? Anything that you might want to add? So let's just move on. So the third one, the third principle when it comes to building trust, building mutual trust is what we call, what John C. Maxwell calls as the Bob principle. So the problem is this, when Bob has a problem with everyone and that whole thing of the person going to the doctor, we looked at that example saying that doctor, I'm having pain all over. Everywhere, doctor, here, here, here, it's paining. I'm having terrible pain and there's something completely wrong with my body. Everywhere, my shoulders, everything is aching. Everything, I have pain and the doctor says okay, that can't be, but let's examine. Finally, at the end of the examination, it finds out that the finger that Bob is actually using to point, touch, each and every place, the problem is with the finger. Finger is broken and it's not that, it's not that place itself, right? It is having a problem. So the Bob principle is this, that when someone has a problem with everyone, with everyone they interact with, with each and every person, there's some problem or the other. Usually, the problem is with that person. Okay. Usually the problem is that with the person. Whether it's because of lack of, lack of skill, lack of people skill, lack of perception, the problem is with that, with that person themselves. Okay. So, when we look at ourselves, do I have a problem with each and every person I interact with? Okay, it's a harsh question. Do I have a problem with each and every person in the team? Do I find something difficult, relate to, to interact with? Do I have a difficulty with each and every person? Okay. Then we really need to look at ourselves first and foremost, not denying the fact that there could be certain degrees of problems with, you know, with, with maybe others, right? But we need to look at ourselves and see, is the problem with me? Okay. Is the problem with me? Am I the, am I the cause for this? Am I the cause for stirring something up? Am I the cause? Okay. Because if we find ourselves having problems with each and every person, it is, it is possible that we could be creating those issues, creating those problems, and even fostering and causing that problem to become bigger ones, right? So that's the Bob principle that we look at ourselves and see, you know, am I the cause of the problem? Am I the cause of making this problem even bigger than what it is? Or am I solving this particular problem? Right. So that's called the Bob principle. Okay. So we'll stop here. We'll take a quick break and we'll come back. Okay.