 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan as they have Jonathan as they comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic What is emotional emotional shivery and how to spot it in a man really quickly if you're new to my YouTube channel? Please click the subscribe button hit the bell so you can get new content Which I think I shoot about four videos a week. So always check my channel to see what's up All right, let's talk about emotional shivery and how to spot it in guy So, you know, we all know that men approach Relationships from that biological sense that we're chasing a relationship from that hunter that Hunter inside of us that provider protector, which is often driven by chemistry In fact chemistry is brain is chemicals being released in the brain throughout the body whenever we like someone Okay, and oftentimes this chemical reaction is what causes men to chase a relationship to hunt a woman In fact women have been so conditioned to believe that men are hunters and chasers Because we want a fully committed relationship that leads to partnership and I can tell you from a biological perspective That's the furthest thing from the truth We are mostly that chemical reaction and the initial stages is chasing sex In fact, if you're not familiar with the book mating in captivity by Esther Perrell Esther Perrell is a fantastic Author speaker talks about relationship I highly recommend checking out this book because it gives you insight into the primal way we approach Relationships and also the dysfunctional way relationships are being formed today This is why I'm leaning into a different type of chivalry today because we oftentimes think of chivalry as a man Being you know taking care of you from that by the way, think about the word chivalry chivalry means someone stronger take caring weaker That's kind of the the definition of chivalry as someone stronger takes care of someone weaker But yeah, I'm here to say none of you are weak Unless you're emotionally weak and that's why we're gonna lean into emotional chivalry today and there are five signs of emotional chivalry, which is really the same as emotional maturity Emotional maturity and these five signs are first off and if you follow my channel, I've talked about this a lot I'm gonna keep talking about it over and over and over again to drill this in your head and At the end of this I've got something really important to share with you So please make sure you stay till the end But the five signs of emotional maturity, which is really emotional chivalry is number one your actions matching your words a Man's actions matching his words and whether it's a man and or a woman Do you say? What you say do you follow it up with your actions and while we all are human beings and we can make mistakes Are you consistent with your actions matching your words? Fact if you're not familiar with the book the four agreements the four agreements the first agreement is to be impeccable with your words Do your best to continually be impeccable with your word and your actions matching your words and again We can all make mistakes, but consistently throughout time. Are you consistent with your words matching your your actions matching your words? number two This is a really great one to spot emotionally chivalrous men is do they take personal responsibility for their choices? Do they take personal responsibility of choices as I've said this before the average person here in the United States is Sucking on victim consciousness and not Victor consciousness and Victor consciousness says I'm going to take responsibility for my choices So if you're dating a guy you're in the initial stage of dating and you ask him about his past Relationships and it's always the other person's fault the other person's fault. She did this to me. She did this to me She did this to me. She did this to me He takes no ownership in his part. He's literally a victim in this relationship That's a lack of emotional chivalry and a lack of emotional maturity Because a true emotionally chivalrous person an emotionally mature person is able to say look I made a mistake in my past relationship. We didn't work out. I have my part to play in it They had their part to play in it and I'm not going to be subject to a victim of this past relationship Because I'm a victor and I want to have a healthy juicy relationship in my life That's what emotional chivalry emotional maturity says Okay, the third sign and this is so critically important and it's called fighting fair fighting fair I was rustling for some books Because I always bring up books in my videos if you're not familiar with the book eight dates by dr. John Gottman eight dates by dr. John Gottman I highly recommend checking this out fact a sign of emotional chivalry is a person who actually Learns about relationships and why I brought up the book eight dates and why I'm talking about fighting fair is Conflict resolution is an important factor for relationship success Conflict resolution because relationships are going to have friction and Fighting fair means I'm going to listen to what you have to say if there's a disagreement and I'm going to accept your point of view I'm going to listen and accept your point of view and it doesn't mean I agree with your point of view But I'm going to listen and accept it, but I'm also going to ask the same of you I want you to listen and accept my point of view and we might get to a point where we agree to disagree, but that's okay Because healthy conflict resolution is not about being right because you can choose to be right or you can choose to be happy and A healthy emotionally chivalrous person is all about the win-win for both of us and occasionally There's going to be disagreements and it's okay to have your point of view And if you're too far apart consistently over and over again, it just might mean that you're misaligned You're not you're misaligned Whatever that would look like misalignment because alignment looks like this and misalignment looks like this and A lot of you ladies and men are choosing relationships where you're so misaligned with one another's you don't share the same values You don't have blendable lifestyles and again emotional maturity is a big part of this and that's what emotional chivalry is all about is stepping into and Choosing to be emotionally mature and emotionally chivalrous men. They're willing to read these books They're willing to invest in the relationship Okay fighting fair number the fourth one is Empathy and this is really tough for a lot of men to lean into empathy But ultimately emotionally chivalrous man is able to understand your feelings and want and cares about your feelings Real empathy isn't always about Feeling the other person's feelings, but it's also caring about that other person's feelings and accepting that person's feelings as Being true for them. That's a real empathetic person an Emotion chivalrous man is leans into caring about your feelings and the fifth sign of Emotional chivalry is Transparency and sadly a lot of men are not transparent. They are holding back. They they're reluctant to share Transparency means you're willing to if you ask me a legitimate question I'm willing to share how I feel about that instead of avoiding it and a lot of people will avoid or deflect deflect deflect and I'm here to say an emotionally chivalrous person leans in and you might ask something in the Relationship that you may not be ready to share it may take a little time to process. That's okay, too But they're not running away They're not running away From your curiosity because if it's sincere and from the heart you can never say the wrong thing to the right guy If it's sincere and from the heart you can't really say the wrong thing to the right guy But be careful because a lot of times it's not sincere and from the heart. It's from fear or ego That's running the bus, but that's a whole nother conversation Okay emotional chivalry how to spot it. I've given you five simple ways to spot that emotionally mature guy I want to hear what you think about this. Please post a comment below Give me your thoughts. Tell me what you think if there's something I miss. Please write it down I want to hear from you and If you would like to ask me a question And you want to get on the phone check out the link below to schedule a one-on-one call with me And also I've got a free gift listed there, too I got lots of stuff listed there and my book what the heck is self-love anyway There's a link to get a copy of it there All right I'm gonna sign off this video as I always do giving you a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug if I have your consent Oh, thank you Wishing you a wonderful day. Thanks so much. Bye. Bye now