 Are you someone who struggles with trust issues? Because I definitely am. I've been lied to, cheated on, used, manipulated, stolen from. Everything that you can imagine to just destroy my trust and faith in humanity. So how the hell am I supposed to trust? My girlfriend Tristan or my editor Zach is up everybody. This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about trying to help you to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that kind of stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos. So yeah, I am making a video about trust issues because I know so many of us struggle with this. We struggle with trust issues. And something that I talk about often on my channel is about how isolation is a bad thing and makes your anxiety and depression works. Like we need to build relationships with people, but you might be somebody like me who struggles with trust issues because of your past. So I'm the son of an alcoholic mom. I've had my mom let me down a million times. I've had girlfriends who have cheated on me. I've had friends steal from me and backstab me and lie to me and everything that you can imagine, I've worked in the sales field at work and had coworkers steal my clients. Like everything that can destroy a person's trust has happened to me. But the issue that I found was that I wasn't able to live free and be happy and improve my mental health when I don't trust anybody. And what happens is we put up all these walls. We put up these huge walls. We don't let anybody in. We're always worried about getting hurt and it's difficult. I get it. So in this video, I wanted to talk about two people who I've had to work on my trust issues with and one of them is my beautifully amazing girlfriend, Tristan, and my wonderful editor, Zach. So I'll break this up into two parts. First, I'll talk about Tristan and our relationship, then I'll talk about Zach, the editor, and our relationship. So yeah, so first let's focus on the relationship aspect of myself and Tristan. So I've mentioned this in other videos in the past. I've been hurt by a million women, a million women. And something I eventually realized was that I was at fault too. I was somebody who wasn't all that great in relationships as well. But it made it so I didn't trust women. I used to be one of those emo kids who listened to alkaline trio and hate women music and stuff because I just thought all women were terrible and awful, being cheated on and just women talking to other guys behind my back and going through my phone and I'd have to go through their phone and all of that. So how could I ever have a healthy relationship? And so when Tristan and I first started talking, as with anybody back when I was single and dating, I had these huge walls up because I was worried about this person hurting me, right? Like if I opened up too much to them, they're gonna hurt me and I don't wanna do that. So maybe I'll just keep up this guard. Maybe I'll just stay protected. Maybe I'll just put on a front or a show or whatever it is. So I guard my feelings, right? But like that's no way to live. That's no way to live. Like something that a lot of us struggle with, especially anybody who struggles with anxiety, we struggle with this thing called future tripping, right? The what is? Like one of my favorite quotes, I think it was from Mark Twain, said something along the lines of like the worst things that have ever happened to me in my life, like never even happened, right? And it's basically talking about all the scenarios we make up in our mind. So the thing that helps me out the most with this, especially with a relationship is mindfulness, right? So mindfulness is a meditation practice. It's very informal, where we're just training our brain to bring us back to the present, right? Because when I started dating Tristan, like it's easy for me to think, what if she cheats on me? What if she's like texting other guys? What if she's, you know, doing this? What if she doesn't like me? What if she's gonna leave me? And all these other things, like these are things that can lead to me self-sabotaging our relationship. And something that I see so many people do, which isn't fair, is we bring our baggage from the last relationship into the new one, right? And then after that, we bring the relationship baggage from both the old relationships into the new one. And it just keeps accumulating and accumulating and accumulating. Like is that fair to the other person that we're trying to start a relationship with? By the way, that's one of the reasons why I tell people that they need to stay single until they work on all this stuff, right? Or they're at least in the healing process. Because it's not fair to the other person. Want to know how you can tell us not fair? How would you feel? How would you feel if you dated somebody who is constantly accusing you of things that their ex did? Not too good, right? And this is that beautiful thing that we like to call empathy. You know what I'm saying? So I can't worry about those things. And you know, the other thing that we worry about is like, oh, what if she breaks up with me? Like I've had women just break up with me out of nowhere. It's almost like when you get fired and like seemingly for no reason, I've had women just straight up leave me. And you know, one of the reasons that I didn't like to date is like, what if this person just decides they're done with me? What if they just get rid of me, right? Like I have abandonment issues. Like I thought that my mom just like abandoned me and gave me to my dad when I was a child. You know what I'm saying? Like these are things that have been deeply rooted inside of me, but I can't do that if I want to have a healthy relationship. I can't worry about that. So what I do with Tristan on a day-to-day basis is I remember right now, like today things are good, right? I can't worry about what if we get into a fight tomorrow? What if this? What if that? What if, you know, whatever? I can't, I can't live into what ifs or I'll go freaking insane. But, you know, aside from just our relationship stuff, you know, we're growing as a couple. And, you know, we've been together for almost two years now and we're about to get our own place. But I have an exciting announcement that I want all of you to know. I know we're not getting married and we're not pregnant. So calm down. But anyways, yeah, I've asked Tristan to become like more part of the rewired soul. And this is just something like, when I made my video about Cavos the other day and I want to do more videos like that, like you got to learn how to be a better judge of character, right? Like I've been with Tristan for almost two years now. And like I want her to become more of a part of the rewired soul. So what I'm doing and talk about trust, right? I'm giving her all the login information to my YouTube channel and my Instagram. And, you know, my Twitter and my email, all these things. Because as I'm growing, like I'm getting overloaded. Like some of you watching this right now, you've sent me DMs or emails that I haven't gotten back to yet because I am just all over the place. I'm all over the place. So I asked Tristan if she could help me out with that. Like you've all seen Tristan in the live chat. She's amazing. She has a background in mental health as well. She worked at a mental health facility in California. She's actually in school right now to be a social worker. Her and I have amazing conversations about mental health. And so I'm gonna have her help me reply to all of you because a huge part of what I'm trying to do here with the rewired soul is I wanna stay engaged with all of you. Like right now it's like, I don't know, like nine in the morning and I've been up since seven in the morning just replying to all of your comments on YouTube. You know what I mean? So Tristan's gonna help me out with that. So I just wanna let y'all know like you might get a message from Tristan. But like that's the thing. There's a reason why I never called this thing like the Chris Boutay channel. Like I don't want it to be about me. I want it to be about everybody. I wanna do, that's why I love doing collaborations and shouting out other creators because we all struggle with mental health. And again, I'm nothing special. I'm nobody special. Other people have been through things and they can give you a message of hope as well. So I'm very excited that Tristan is going to be helping me out with this. She's also gonna be helping me out with Patreon. Like all of you signing up on Patreon, you're all amazing and you guys, we have really exciting stuff happening. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Soon this week I'm doing my first Patreon Q&A which I will post here on the YouTube channel. So a lot of you, a lot of you, send me requests. You send me requests for videos. Sometimes I do them, sometimes I don't. It depends on my mood. But what I'm trying to do is prioritize the people who are helping to support the channel to do their video ideas. So I hope that makes sense because I'm only one person. I can't make a video for everybody, you know, who's subscribed to me. So if you're interested, like just Patreon links all over the place, down in the description and stuff. Like even if you're just signed up for a dollar a month, like I will take your suggestions into consideration but I'm gonna start doing a Patreon Q&A once a week. So Tristan is going to help me manage the Patreon and all of that. So next, let's talk about this dude Zach. Let's talk about Zach the editor. So this is important. Like this is really, really important. Like especially if you're a creator or you're a control freak, like man, like stay and listen to this about Zach. Like I, like I just got back from Vid Summit, you know about a week ago where it's a convention with all these creators and like first off, first off, some of my best videos, some of my best growth happened while I was gone at Vid Summit and it never would have happened if it wasn't for Zach. But I met so many other creators at that event where they won't hire an editor. They will not hire an editor because they are control freak. They're a control freak and they're so worried. So how I met Zach was in Roberto Blake's Facebook group The Awesome Creator Academy. And Zach is, you know, he's a young sir, he's a college student. And like I've been watching him, like I look at people, I analyze people, I judge like their character and stuff. And Zach just has this insane, insane work ethic. Like I've met a lot of creators who like they just want everything handed to them. They just wanna be a gigantic YouTuber and not have to put any work. They just wanna go viral. They just want, you know, money to just rain from the sky. And like Zach isn't like that. I saw Zach just hustling. Like Zach was trying to find a way to do some freelance work and make some extra money. And this dude was all up on Twitter, just messaging different people, just saying, yo, I'll edit for you. Yo, I'll do this. They offered to do stuff for free just to get his name out there. And like it's crazy. He hustled and he got a few gigs. Some of them worked out. Some of them didn't, but even so he got some more experience. And like Zach just keeps pushing forward. And I look for that. I look for that. Like I just replied to a comment not long ago where somebody was like telling me that they wish their YouTube channel was bigger. I went over to their YouTube channel and they've done like five videos. I'm like, well, what do you expect? Like people aren't just gonna come there, you know? Like you have to put in the work. Why do you guys think I hustle so hard? Because this world does not owe me anything. I have to put in the work. And I see that in Zach. I saw that in Zach. I saw his hustle and his work ethic. But aside from that, like Zach has a very, you know, not a very small channel. I hate using the word small. Like some of you need to watch Cody Warner and he has hashtag NoSmallCreator. But anyways, like Zach's, Zach does amazing work. And every time I would watch his videos, I would laugh and I would just have, I always have a huge smile on my face. Like if you were in the live stream, we watched Zach's video about like Pokemon waifus. Oh my God. If you really want to get to know who Zach the editor is, like go check out his video about Pokemon waifus. It is absolute madness. It is madness. Like Zach is just looking for a thick Gudra to make his life complete. Anyways, getting back to the point. So watching Zach's videos, I love his humor. I love, you know, his work ethic. And like what I, what I just started doing was like, I was like, yo dude, do you want to help me out? And like I would pay him a little bit to help me out with editing and all of that. But like, you guys know my work ethic and you know how much I hustle. And this is just too much for me. I edit all my own stuff. So you guys probably noticed like, if you guys pay attention to my channel, you notice when I edit a video and when Zach edits a video, right? Like I love the way Zach edits. Zach's thumbnail game is on point. But yeah, like I just gradually grew my trust with Zach and he listens too. He listens. Like me and Zach were just like on the same page and we click and we have a similar style of humor too. Like I told him, you know, what I liked about his work and what I would like to see him do with mine. And some of you have mentioned how Zach's kind of like Brad. I like told Zach, like I love Brad who edits PewDiePie stuff. So Zach is kind of like taking that style where me and him kind of have a back and forth. And I love that too because on a mental health channel, sometimes I'm talking about pretty serious topics and I like how Zach can infuse some humor in there to kind of lighten it up because that's one of my missions with this channel and with what I'm just trying to do for this world is I want mental health to not be this like taboo subject and like things that we're afraid to talk about, you know? And Zach's like comedic timing is amazing and he knows when to dial it back. Sometimes when I'm watching what Zach, you know, edited, I'm like, oh no, like I hope he doesn't like try to throw in a joke right here and he doesn't. So like, I love that about Zach, like me and him just click. But if you're somebody who is a control freak, like remember, I always say this, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Like if you have trust issues, if you're a control freak and you're taking on too big of a workload, that's on you and I'm sorry to let you know but I don't feel sorry for you. Like you need to take the steps and work on your trust issues. Like with Zach, for example, we took baby steps. I had him edit a video for me like once in a while, right? Had to make me a thumbnail once in a while and like I started to see that he was giving me good work. So now Zach is like helping me out a lot, a lot. I'm still editing some of my stuff because Zach is so amazing at what he does. He's actually helping a lot of different channels. But anyways, like I really respect and appreciate what Zach does. So if any of you struggle with trust issues, I really, really hope this video helped you out. Like I like sharing my own experience and how I've overcome some of my own mental health struggles. And like if you're struggling with trust issues, like just the best thing I can say is take baby steps, stay in the now, don't worry about the future. Like hey, some day Zach might, you know, flip a switch, turn evil and like try to rob me blind. I don't know, but today Zach's doing a good job. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Like stay in the present, quit future tripping, all right? So anyways, let's do this down in the comments below. Let me know down in the comments below if you think that you still have trust issues and maybe even if you wanna list the reason why. Wait, no, forget that. Here at the Rewired Soul, we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. So here's what I want from you down in the comments below. Let me know if you're struggling with trust issues, you can say why if you would like to, but I wanna hear you tell me and the rest of the Rewired Soul audience out there what you're going to do to work on it. How about that, all right? So anyways, that's all I got for you with this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I have a ton of awesome videos coming your way. And a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. And remember, I'm doing Patreon only Q&A coming very soon. So if you would like to support the channel over on Patreon and get involved, click or type on that Patreon icon right there. All right, thanks so much for watching. I'll see you next time.