 Don't turn that dial. This is the right station. If you want to hear about Jonathan Thomas and his Christmas on the moon Jonathan Thomas who has just turned six got himself in a terrible fix He went to bed at half past eight, which isn't early nor is it late and he went to sleep with his teddy bear He never could sleep without guzz because well then when the chime on the clock struck nine and what it would seem He had begun to dream a beam from the moon came into his room and two funny people Named Ezra and Jeeple slid down and started to frown at Jonathan Thomas and guzz Well then guzz woke up and chased them up as any teddy bear should do and then Jonathan Thomas He woke up too because he heard the fires that was made by guzz and he joined the chase to the funniest place Since the world began and pretty soon he met a man who turned out to be as he could plainly see the man in the moon Then pretty soon when he was in his room, there was the awfulest noise Even worse than boys can make with their toys and he got more scared than he dared or cared to let on cuz guzz was gone And he sighed and nearly cried and if he had it wouldn't have been bad And you know because this we boblems had kidnapped Santa Claus Mr.. Mr.. Man in the moon. Oh for goodness sakes stop calling me mr.. Man in the moon Oh, but I thought that was your name. Oh, how very silly if it's your name How could it be mine, but it isn't cuz my name is Jonathan Thomas That's a fever because my name isn't Jonathan Thomas My name's nothing of the sort and I'll be pleased if you'll call me that from now on yes, sir Thank you, please mr.. Nothing of the sort, but good. Maybe I ask you a question. I don't know Have you ever tried it? Please mr.. Nothing of the sort Why do we have to come here to old King Coles court my goodness gracious? What an easy question? We come here to King Coles court because we don't have to go there and anybody knows that King Coles court isn't there It's here there is where the old folks stay. Oh What oh Cuz I wish we could go look for guests Well, I guess there's nothing to stop us We can look for him or five him or even sex him Now if we have enough time and if we haven't maybe we can borrow some from anybody He's got lots of time on his hands This is the court of the very best sort for it's the court of old King Cole Let the good be good and stand as they should and the bad make confession for this court is now in Oh dear Ladies and gentlemen and everybody else. This is the most serious moments of history And anybody who ever studied history knows how serious that is No, no, no, no, I mean to say you all know that Santa Claus has been kidnapped And if he isn't rescued there won't be any Christmas this year and you know what that means It means that no toys for the boys. No curls for the girls and Christmas will be very sad That day of the year will be without cheer. No presents or candy or things No come all ye faithful. No Carol that sings And the day will be bad not marry or glad And no presents that's and to Claus Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Now then I am certain that there is a traitor in our beach There is someone in this city of oh my goodness Who is a spy for the terrible scribblems who kidnapped our dear mr. Claus Therefore we are now going to hold court to find the guilty culprit and I do here by and here with elect professor I am lunay to act as prosecuting attorney and the tired lion mr. Laugley or roar To act as the defense attorney Thank you. Thank you. Thank you your majesty and ladies and gentlemen And now first of all we shall proceed Will the clerk of the court please ask mr. Humpty Dumpty to come for I think you'd better have him come first instead of fourth mr. So we can keep the numbers straight. Yes very well your majesty Will the clerk of the court please call mr. Humpty Dumpty to the stand Humpty Dumpty to the stand Sit down Now then mr. Clerk of the court swear the witness No, no, no listen your majesty if you bring me up here just to swear at me I ain't going to stay. I don't like being sworn at I said swear the witness mr. Humpty Dumpty Not swear at the witness the word act being a preposition to show the relationship between the object and the verb And one should never never end a sentence with the preposition Yeah, what about a jail sentence professor lunay? If you please if you please your majesty Now then mr. Humpty Dumpty Where were you on the evening of the second Tuesday of last week? Uh, no, please. Uh-huh, but can you prove it? Uh, nope, but I sure can recite verses. Oh, no, no, no, don't dare. Don't dare. I warn you I'll go to pieces. I'll go to pieces. In the middle of the night when the sun was shining bright on the star's Madderley twinkle and no sound was around and the still was so shrill that nobody could hear Oh Well, I'm most sorry to regret that due to the fact that professor lunay has just Gone pieces a court is now adjourned until we put him back together Yeah The time has come for everyone to take their seats again and if you fail you'll go to jail which is commonly called the pen Sit down Call the next witness Jonathan thomas to the stand Jonathan thomas to the stand. Where is Jonathan thomas? If you please sir, I'm right here That's what you say, but I say that you're wrong here and the proof of the pudding is in the eating Goody the plum pudding with mint sauce professor lunay If you please your majesty Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. At now then Jonathan thomas Do you solemnly swear that you will Bill fill the sack doodle of the bill wig startle hot nicks of the truth Of the crally lincious of the nitty apples cough. So help me Hannah say I do I do. What if you please? You see your majesty evading And all the one need is but one look at this cringing crook of crying crime criminally conspiring scamp of cut wolding in his cataclysmic catastrophes coarse stress And un-christian company would claim consider him considerably crazy a complete confession of contemptible Consentuousness of contempt of court Unquote now answer my question. Can you or can't you you you you can I thought if you please Evading again Now if you please your majesty you'll notice that he is about to cry He's trying to sue their sympathy with silly sobs of sappy suffering. So strife will cease and success Seem to strike sorrow subservient, but I say your majesty He is guilty So it seems there's something in what you say Proceed I will I achieve this prisoner of the bar of being a spy for the terrible squee-bubblem For santa claus was not kidnapped until after Jonathan thomas alias johnny the jib alias jone of the jinx arrived in our Fair fair city of oh my goodness, which proves it Your majesty I accused jonathan thomas of being responsible for santa claus being kidnapped and I Recommend that he be spanked by the royal spankers and also be given two bottles of castor oil But I do like castor oil Neither do I Your majesty, I rest my jolly old case. Oh, well, uh, thanks lune. Oh, hello Now jonathan thomas Since you were accused of being a spy for the squee-bubblems You must be one and therefore it is the sentence of this court that you go to the land of squee-bubbles And bring back santa claus and if you fail Well, I don't like castor oil either Well poor jonathan thomas and what will happen to him in the land of the terrible squee-bubbles Well, you'll certainly find out in the next chapter of the story of jonathan thomas and his christmas on the moon