 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as The Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you transcribed by The Kraft Foods Company. Twenty years ago, The Kraft Foods Company introduced a wonderful new salad dressing. A superbly smooth, delicious tasting salad dressing called Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip was so remarkably good that it soon became the most popular salad dressing ever created. Now Miracle Whip outsells the next twenty leading brands of salad dressing combined, and good cooks everywhere depend on it to make their salads better tasting. To bring out the best in your salads, use the one and only Miracle Whip salad dressing. The Great Gilder Sleeve, although a bachelor, is a strong believer in family ties. Marjorie, with her brood, lives just next door. In fact, her little son Ronnie is in the kitchen now with Bertie. Yilder Sleeve considers himself quite fortunate that all of his own little family are very close around. Right, George. This is the best part of the day, Leroy, coming home to the little family. Ah, you're just glad to get out of work at the office, aren't you? No, sir. It's the welcome home I get. I wouldn't take anything for the way little Ronnie runs up and grabs me around the legs when I come home. What a fine, handsome little lad. Yeah. He sure takes after me. Well, he does look like our side of the family, but he's more of the image of me. In fact, he looks more like me than he does Bronco, his own father. And we all think he looks like them. Well, some people are inclined to be a little egotistical. I'm glad I'm not like that. Oh, brother. Boy, I'm not. That boy is just like his old uncle. What's he doing now? Making a lot of noise. Birdie lets him play with the pots and pans in the kitchen. Oh. He does his cute. Well, he shouldn't make all that noise. Now, but he isn't allowed to do that at home. No, he works more quietly at home. He roamed their alarm clock when Marge was right there with him and she didn't even know it. How'd he do that? He dropped the clock on the washing machine while it was running. Oh, my goodness. Well, Ronnie's a high-spirited young boy, but his parents shouldn't let him get away with too much. Perhaps I should have a talk with him about that. Perhaps I should talk to Birdie right now. Let him live a little. The best years of my life were when I was a little kid and could get by with things. Yes, yes. That's the golden age. When you're so young, people don't think you know what you're doing. Well, Ronnie's old enough to be told and Birdie should tell him. It's up to somebody in the family to start the discipline rowing. I don't know anybody who can do it better than I can. Birdie, what's going on out here? Oh, Ronnie's just playing. He's having a fine time taking the pots and pans out of the canvas. Hello, Ronnie. Hi, Uncle Moore. Ronnie, you're making a lot of noise. I can make more. Yes, Birdie, you shouldn't encourage him. Okay, Ronnie, maybe you better put up the pots and pans. I don't want to. He don't want to, Miss Gersley. Well, you put them away, Birdie. Well, suppose I put them up. No, Ronnie. Maybe I can get him to stop. No, you can't. Come on, let's pretend we're Indians. I'm being noisy. Perhaps you should go out in the yard. I don't want to go out in the yard. Put up the frying pan. I don't want to see you on the toe with the frying pan. No, Ronnie. Get your uncle on the toe? He said it wouldn't hurt. Why don't you run along outside? Here, I'll help you. I don't want to, Uncle Moore. I'll let you go. I'm afraid we're spoiling little Ronnie. Oh, Mr. Gersley, you couldn't spoil a little darling like that. The best of them can be spoiled. Let's not encourage him to be destructive and have his own way all the time. How are you going to say no to that little charmer? Well, when he's around here, I'm going to insist. I better go see who's at the door. Bertie, you know it's Ronnie. Oh, that's right. Leeroy, answer the door. Uncle! Now, as I was saying, Bertie, when he's around here, I'm going to insist. You know he's making like an Indian. Yes, he's better than Bertie. Bronco and Marjorie wouldn't tolerate that. I just had that panel too. I have to put a stop to this. Well, you'd better run along anyway. Ronnie, don't ask me why I sent him home, Bertie. Yes, sir. And I want to have a little talk with you and Leeroy. Is this a meeting? Yes, you might call this a meeting. I suppose you observed the way I handled it, Ronnie. Sure, you opened the door and told him to hit the road. Well, I wasn't that obvious, Leeroy, but I was firm. Ronnie's at the age when he's beginning to form habits. And we want to be sure he gets off on the right track. Right, Bertie? Yes, sir. We have to help Marjorie and Bronco raise the youngsters. What are they going to say about that? Well, they wouldn't have it any other way. They'll thank us for it. They're level-headed parents. Hello, Miss Marjorie. Marjorie, we were just talking about you. Oh, you were? Yeah, Uncle's just saying how level-headed you are. I got a flat top for a sister. Leeroy. I was just saying you and Bronco would thank us for correcting little Ronnie when he gets out of line. Oh, did he get out of line, Uncle? Well, let's just say he was annoying Bertie here in the kitchen. Oh? Oh, he wasn't bothering me. He was making a lot of noise, Marjorie. Then he went into the parlor and started banging on the piano. I made him stop. Well, Uncle, if he shows an interest in music, do you think you should discourage him? I wasn't trying to discourage him. I just had the piano tuned for Leeroy, and you know how important his piano lessons are. Heck, I like a piano out of tune. It covers up my mistakes. So that's why you sent little Ronnie home, Uncle Moore? You know, I didn't exactly send him home. Ronnie said you sent him home. You closed the door on him. Marjorie, you make it sound as if I shoved him out and slammed the door. If he'd had a tail, he'd have gotten it caught. Well, perhaps I was a little firm, but somebody has to be. Oh? There's no use letting him grow up like a little wild Indian. A little wild Indian? He was running around the house beating on fans and yelling, I'll see that you don't have to send him home again, Uncle Moore. Now, Marjorie... If my son annoys you when he's only having fun like an active boy, I just won't let him come over here. Marjorie, you're being unreasonable. I'm being unreasonable? Goodbye, Bertie. Goodbye, Leeroy. Bye, Miss Marjorie. Bye. Marjorie! Whoop. She didn't have to leave in such a huff. Nah, she didn't even wait to thank you for helping raise her son. Practice your piano. It's good to be home after a day at the office. Where are the twins, or at Mr. Gilbert's leaves? I should say not. Oh, what do you mean? I can have my children sent home just because they act like children. Who got sent home? Ronnie. Uncle Moore called him a little wild Indian. Well, he is a little wild Indian. Uncle Thompson, you're talking about your son. I refuse to take all the responsibility. He's half yours, dear. Not all you have to say are you going to make a joke out of the whole thing? At least I did something about it. Oh, what did you do about it? I walked out of Uncle Moore's house and slammed the door. Just because Mr. Gilbert's leave called Ronnie a wild Indian? No. Uncle Moore had even tried to stifle the child's talent for music. What talent? Well, you know how Ronnie always tries to sing when he hears a piano. Well, the dog howls when he hears the piano, too. That doesn't mean he's a John Charles Thomas. That's a fine attitude for a father to take. Oh, Marge, Mr. Gilbert's leave is very fond of the twins. Ronnie must have done something he shouldn't. He wasn't one bit noisier than he is here at home. Marge, why do you think I've been wearing ear muffs all summer? Oh, Bronco, now you're making me feel as if I did the wrong thing. Well, don't worry about it. When I see Mr. Gilbert's leave, I'll smooth things out. I'd like to buy a box of candy. Yeah, well, something around about five pounds? No, not that large, P.D. Something around two pounds. Must be for your number two girl. No, just a little something for Marjorie to get back into her good graces. I have a little misunderstanding with Marjorie. No, I just had to correct one of her children. Oh, a big misunderstanding indeed. Well, it was a very small thing, P.D., and no doubt she'll forget about it. You must not take any chances, let's buy that candy. Any suggestions? Well, you might not care for my strategy, Mr. University. Oh? Well, what is it? Well, whenever I have a misunderstanding with Mrs. P.D.'s mother, I take her taffy shoes. Well, I don't get it. Well, when you've got a mouthful of taffy, it's pretty hard to talk back. Yeah, you're pretty cagey people. I can, too. I think Marge, you'd like some bonbon. If I were you, I wouldn't take the bonbon. You don't recommend them, huh? How about some chocolate-covered fruits and nuts? Mr. University, if you will take my advice, you will take the taffy. Why should I take taffy? Because it's all I've got. P.D., do you think it's smart to stock up on taffy shoes? Yes, I do. Mrs. P.D.'s mother is coming back to town. Oh, my goodness. Well, you can give me a box. Very well. Anything for Bronco or is he neutral? Well, I'd welcome a chance to talk things over with Bronco. Marge was inclined to be a little unreasonable about this. But Bronco can take advice about things. Most men can. Well, I know I take a lot. And being the head of the family, I feel it's up to me to keep everybody in line. Even the little ones. In fact, it's expected of me. No, no, I wouldn't care that. Well, I would. Oh, there you are, Mr. University. Yeah, Bronco. Yeah, I thought I might catch you in here. Hello, Mr. Peavey. Hello, Bronco. Yeah, I was just buying a box of candy to take to Marge. I suppose you know she's a little upset with me. Yeah, forget it, Mr. Gildersleeve. Yeah, I knew you'd feel that way. Oh, sure. Mr. Peavey, it seems my son was a little noisy over at Mr. Gildersleeve's and he got sent home. Well, sometimes children do get a little noisy. Yeah, boys will be boys. Hmm, they always have been. Right, George, they don't have to raise the roof just because they're boys. Yeah, it's all forgotten, Mr. Gildersleeve. Well, we shouldn't just forget it, Bronco. Oh, I think we shouldn't. Of course, I wouldn't tell Marge these. But the place to start correcting a child is at home. Oh, true, true. You shouldn't wait until somebody else has to do it. Well, let's face it, somebody else doesn't have to do it. No, Bronco, you're beginning to sound like Marge. What your young son needs is the strong guiding hand of the man about. Yeah, I see. And I'm the head of the house. Do you have any other suggestions about how I should run it? Well, yes, now that you ask for it. I know who's asking for it. See, little Ronnie is at the demanding age. But you can't let a tot have his way just because by nature he's a little bossy. Oh, he's bossy? Well, with an intelligent approach, you can crack that. Mr. Gildersleeve, perhaps I'd better hear the rest of this another time. Goodbye, Mr. Peavey. No, Bronco, don't misunderstand me. I'm not trying to tell you how to raise your family. Should I wrap up another box of chews for Bronco? No, Peavey, just give them to me. I'll stuff the whole box in my big, fat mouth. Gildersleeve will be back in just a minute. If we were to take a popularity poll of vegetable courses, chances are the winner would be broccoli or asparagus with hollandaise sauce. And no wonder, nothing nicer could happen to these tender green vegetables than the smooth, creamy sauce we call hollandaise. 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And that's all there is to it. Try it soon. It's a good idea to get the quart jar of Miracle Whip when you buy, so you'll have plenty on hand for all the cool, colorful salads you'd like to serve these days, too. Remember, it's America's favorite salad dressing, the one and only, Miracle Whip. Let's get back to the Great Gilder Sleeve. When he attempted to correct Marjorie's small son, Ronnie, he should have remembered that discipline begins at home and not next door. Ronnie ran home, and the Great Gilder Sleeve had a run-in with Marjorie and Bronco. Now you've got the whole family mad at you, honk. Well, Leroy, I thought they'd appreciate me giving them a few pointers about raising Ronnie. And I realize now you can't expect other people to take your advice, even when it's good. Hey, this may work out okay for me. What do you mean? Well, I won't be asking you to come over and babysit for free. Now maybe they'll meet my price. Your price? 50 cents an hour on ice box pillages. Well, maybe I'll go with you. How do you know they'll let you in? You're pretty sore, honk. Well, I'm not going to let things stay that way. Marjorie and Bronco just misunderstood my intentions. They may be stubborn about it, but I'm not going to be. Come on, let's go over and get things straightened out. Heck no. I'm not going over there and ask for a job with you there. It'd be like waving a flag at a bull. Well, there's no use making a big thing out of this. I'll just make a casual phone call over there. Could be they've forgotten all about the incident. None of our family holds a grudge very long. I know I'm the most forgiving guy in the world. Who's that? Ronnie? When'd you start answering the phone? Maybe that's why their phone's busy so often. Ronnie, this is your Uncle Throckmorton. Oh, Ronnie. Maybe I shouldn't even be talking to you. But whoop, he hung up. Yeah? Well, boy, George, I'll call him again. Hey, if he answers again, why don't you hang up on him? Don't let him get to the upper hand. Come to think of it, the way to handle this is to go over and have a personal talk with Marjorie and Bronco. And there's guilt if you do with the phone. Yes, Bertie, I'm finished. I'll say he's really through. What's the matter? Leroy means I'm still out on the limb with Marjorie and Bronco. Yeah, and Ronnie just sawed it off. This is ridiculous. There must be some way I can patch up things. Yes, I shall miss them twins coming over. Well, I'm going to do something to bring Marjorie and Bronco to their senses. I guess you know what you're doing, Mr. Hill, please. I don't think he does. Well, it's not up to me to put in my two cents worth. Well, go on, Bertie. Any suggestions? Well, there's no sin I just made up that goes if you want to win the parents' woo to child. Oh? The first thing I do is make up with little Ronnie. Well, that's an idea. Yeah, see, you're a politician. I'm surprised that you ain't thought of that. Well... Yes, you're a politician. So you know you've got to kiss the baby to get to vote. Well, it could be, Bertie. Yes, sir. Good politician knows he's got to kiss the baby to get to vote. You all right, Bertie. Because you'll see if you know what you've got to do. Yes, Bertie. That's right. You know what you've got to get to vote. Sometimes you have to play politics in family life. I'm bringing so many presents, they'll think it's Christmas. Oh, it's you, Auntie. Hello, my dream, my dear. I brought some things over if I may come in. Oh, well, of course, but I'm pretty busy. It'll only take a minute. You know how considered I am. You look pretty this afternoon, my dear. Fresh as a daisy. And this dust cap? You know, I brought some toys for the children, and here's something for you. Oh? Taffy chews. Auntie, you didn't have to do this. Well, I do a lot of things I don't have to. Look, here's a steam shovel for little Ronnie. And I thought a music box for little Linda. She isn't angry with me, but I thought I'd just throw it in. Oh, wonky. Where is she? I want to play it for her. Well, she's spending the afternoon with a little girlfriend down the street. Oh, well, I'll play it for you. Yeah, plays the same tune as the one I brought you when you were a little girl. Remember? Of course I remember. And Linda will love it. Yeah. Where's Ronnie? I want to show him his steam shovel. And then, if it's all right with you and Bronco, I'd like to spend the afternoon with him. Take him downtown. I don't know, wonky. Ronnie's such a handful. He might get on your nerves. Oh, nonsense. Nothing I'd rather do than pal around with Ronnie. Yeah, I missed a little fellow. Well... Now, if you're worried about my firm hand, I assure you he can do as he pleases. What do you say, Marjorie? Well, it would give Bronco and me a chance to do some shopping. I can take you? All right, wonky. Thank you, my dear. Ronnie! Oh, Ronnie, where are you? Having fun with Uncle Mort? Uh-huh. At the time, I thought you were a little noisy. Why? Let's not go into that. Things are going too well. Hey, let's stop in here at TV's drugstore. Why? Wouldn't you like some ice cream or a soda? Okay, I'll take both. Fine. Anything you say. Hello, TV. Yeah, hello, Mr. Jones. TV, do you know this young man? Well, I haven't seen him for some time, but this must be Ronnie. Yeah? Ronnie? This is Mr. Pete. Hello, Ronnie. Why do they call you Mr. Pete? Mr. Pete is my name. Why? Well, he's full of questions, baby. Yeah, he is. Here, Ronnie. Let me boost you up on a stool. Yep, see you, Daisy. Now, we'll order a soda. And ice cream. Yeah, yes. Give the boy an ice cream soda, TV. What flavor? Well, a chocolate or vanilla, Ronnie. Both. My, my. Well, TV, give him vanilla ice cream with a chocolate soda. Uncle Mort lets me do anything I want today. You're doing great. Yeah. You might remember that and tell your parents, Ronnie. Well, I will. I'll tell them all about the merry-go-round and the pony ride. Oh, you and your boy had quite a day, Mr. Ghostly. Well, I'll admit I'm up to something, TV. I don't want little ears to come up with a hand. But if the parents said, you know who, expect me to cow-tow to you know who. She's going to be the biggest cow in town. All right, TV, I know what I'm doing. What are you doing? Drink your soda, Ronnie. Here's your straw. Oh, boy, I can blow bubbles. Hey, uh, careful, Ronnie. You're spilling it all over your counter. No, TV, let's not start correcting him. He's only a boy. Look, Josh left bubbles. Chocolate bubbles. Mr. Ghostly. Can't you ask them, Ronnie? See, isn't that Marjorie and Bronco getting out of the car? I hope so. By George it is. I'll go to the door and call them in. Marjorie. Bronco. Oh, hello, Ronnie. Hello, Mr. Ghostly. Come into the drugstore. Don't you see how much fun Ronnie is having with me? I'll be right in. Mr. Ghostly, you'll have to speak to Ronnie. TV, let's not create a scene by reprimanding Ronnie. But he's getting out of control. Ronnie, what are you doing with the spoon? He's flipping ice cream all over my mirror. Sorry, TV. I wish I hadn't asked them in. Hello, Mr. Ghostly. Hello. Mr. TV. Hello, Bronco. Hello, Marjorie. Hello, Mr. TV. Glad to see you, too. Well, how are you and Ronnie getting along, Mr. Ghostly? Oh, we've had a fine time. You're all great, Bronco. Just fine. Hi, Mommy and Daddy. Uncle Warren lets me do anything I want. What's all the ice cream doing running down the fountain mirror? Well... Good heavens, Ronnie. Are you flipping ice cream with that spoon? Drop that spoon, young man. Rocky, are you letting Ronnie get by with this? Why didn't you corrupt him? This is awful. Yes, it is. What are you trying to do, Mr. Gillers? Take him out and let him act as if we've made no effort to civilize him. But I tried... Where's that firm hand you lectured me about? I wouldn't have let you take Ronnie if I'd known you were going to spoil him. It's a lot easier to be a parent than an uncle. We'll be with us again in just 30 seconds. If you want to shine as a salad cook, remember the little extra touches are important. The capers you sprinkle over the chicken salad, the chopped nuts on the fruit salad. But of course, most important is your choice of the right salad dressing. That's why we suggest you choose Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip salad dressing has a flavor that millions of folks agree is just right. Lively, teasing, perfect. Try it. Enjoy the most delicious salad you've ever tasted. Salads made with the one and only Miracle Whip salad dressing. What a fine time, Marjorie. Nice of you and Bronco to invite me over. Oh, it's been lots of fun, Anki. Yeah, come in anytime, Mr. Gildersleeve. Thank you, Bronco. And we want you to know, Anki, we don't blame you for little Ronnie's behavior at Mr. Peavey. We were a little edgy. You, uh, this never would have happened if I hadn't been a little sharp with Ronnie for making too much noise around the house. We understand, Anki. You just aren't accustomed to little boys. No, it's been a long time since Mr. Gildersleeve had youngsters around the house. He's getting set in his ways. You're getting old, Anki. Noise never bothers us. No, we're used to noise. Good night, folks. This is the famous line of craft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the great Gildersleeve. There are two kinds of delicious craft prepared mustard. Mild craft mustard, so smooth and delicately spiced, and craft mustard with snappy horseradish added. And whichever you prefer, remember, when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Try it on cold sandwiches, hamburgers, frankfurters, and cold cuts. Enjoy the wonderful sauces you can make for hot meat and vegetable courses with craft prepared mustard. Keep both kinds on hand and keep the whole family happy. Get mild craft mustard and craft mustard with snappy horseradish added at your favorite food store. Enjoy the best of Groucho on NBC.