 The Kraft Foods Company makers of Parquet Margarine presents Willard Waterman as the Great Hilda Sleeve. Great Hilda Sleeve is brought to you transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. You know what brand of margarine outsold all others last year? It was the quality margarine made by Kraft delicious Parquet Margarine. Parquet looks wonderful, tastes wonderful, and spreads smoothly even when ice cold. Now under it's the favorite of millions. Why don't you enjoy Parquet Margarine regularly at your home? As a table spread, as a seasoning for hot vegetables, as a flavor shortening when you bake. Tomorrow, pick up a pound or two of Kraft's delicious Parquet Margarine. I think Mr. Gill Sleeve's been giving his other girls to go back because Mrs. Paula Winthrop is home for wintering in Florida. Every time Birdie looks out the window, he's either going over there, coming back. Right now he's just coming back to get ready to go over again. Yes, Mr. Gill Sleeve? Thanks for pressing my blue serve. Oh, you're welcome. That's the second time I've pressed that suit since yesterday. I thought I might drift over to Mrs. Winthrop's this evening. I sure am glad you told me where you're going. I wouldn't have any idea in the world where you're going if you hadn't told me where you're going. Well, let's see if I have everything. Keys, wallet, comb, handkerchief, nail file, and my watch. Hey, my elk's tooth is loose. You know how to take that to the jeweler before it falls off the chain? Yes. Now, by the way, you see that Leroy keeps at his homework tonight? Yes. I don't want him running over where I am to see babs. No, sir. I don't know why Paula Winthrop had to have a daughter just Leroy's age. No, sir. She never misses a chance to make me feel like I'm something that washed up on the beach at Miami. Yes. I mean, yes. I have a feeling Babs resents my going with her mother. Last night, while Paula and I were chatting, Babs came in and deliberately interrupted our cozy evening. Yes. I wish I could do something to get the girl to like me. Yes. Well, things has got to be rosy with the daughter if you want to get cozy with the mama. Yes, yes. Hey, George, nothing like having a girl who lives just across the street. I hope Babs keeps out of sight. Yeah, she probably has a lot of homework like Leroy. Come in, Mr. Gildersleeve. Oh, thank you, Babs. Mother said I should entertain you until she comes down. Well, if you have homework or anything like that, you just run along. Don't mind me. In a way, this is homework. Oh? I'm writing an essay on old fossils. Fossils? And my encyclopedia is right here in the living room. Oh, I see. Mr. Gildersleeve, surely you didn't think I meant you. What are you and mother doing tonight? Well, I thought I'd take her down to the courthouse basement. The courthouse basement? Your mother and I are going to a square dance down there. Oh, how ducky. The city employees are staging a little benefit for the city pound. Have to take care of the lost pets, you know. Now I know why mother rushed back from Florida right at the height of the season. She didn't want to miss the dog catcher's ball. She's not kidding me. I got that. Mr. Gildersleeve, does mother ever talk to you about Lattie Chapman? Lattie Chapman? Polo player. You see his picture in the Sunday supplements. Well, by the time I finish reading Hot Shot Charlie and the Dragon Lady, polo players don't thrill me much. I was thinking of the way he thrilled mother. Who? After he'd won the last match, he galloped over to the stands and presented his cup tour. Show off. Hello, Thropmorton. Well, Paula, you are a pretty outfit. You look like the cat's pajamas. Cat's pajamas? Well, thank you, Thropmorton. Babs, have you been entertaining Mr. Gildersleeve? No, he's been entertaining me. Mother insists on seeing Mr. Gildersleeve. He'll have to sharpen up a little. Well, hello, Babs. Come in. Thank you, Bertie. Is Lee Roy home from school? He's upstairs, and he'll be glad to see you. Lee! His tooth belonged to your uncle. Yeah, that was loose last night. I found it on the floor this morning. Thanks, Bab. I'll give it to him. Do you really want to give it to him? Or let it be lost forever. Gosh, Babs, Uncle wouldn't be without that. It belonged to his grandfather. One can be sentimental to a fault, Lee Roy. What? Look at the facts. A watch chain across a vest went out with curly hair. Now, Babs, lay off my uncle. Gosh, he likes you. I might learn to like him, too. If he'd get with it, I want to be proud of my mother's escorts. Well, I've always been proud of Lonk. Sort of. That's because you're used to him. Like an old shoe. You can get used to measles if you have them all the time. Oh, Babs. I tried to give Mr. Gildersleeve a hint last night. I told him about Laddie Chapman and mother's other friends down in Florida. Yeah? Mother was always in the society pages. Well, Lonk's had his picture in the paper plenty of times. I know. Dedicating a new fire plug. Well, Lonk has to go to those things. He doesn't have to use those moldy expressions. He told mother she was the cat's pajamas. Babs, I like my uncle the way he is. Nobody's going to say he's corny. I'm only saying he doesn't have to be corny. And you can help update him. If you care enough about me. Yeah? You do like me, don't you, Leroy? Gosh. You know how I feel about you, Babs. How do you feel about me? Well... Once you said you'd do anything for me. Oh, sure, but what's that got to do with Lonk? When he calls on mother tonight, will you come over and take a good look at him? I see him every day. I don't know what happens to the older generation. But when they pass 18, ooh! I'm so okay. All right, Leroy, if you don't care about me. Okay, okay, I'll come. Keen, see you later, Al. Oh, that square dancing was a little strenuous last night. I hope Paula doesn't want to go out again tonight. I can entertain her by reading my part in the Founders Day pageant. Yeah, I'm glad she's here for that. It'll show her summer fields and help in coming place. Oh, hello, Throckmorton. Come in. Thank you, Paula. Shall I just hang up my coat, or do we have to go someplace? Oh, after last night, I think we're both ready for a quiet evening at home. You bet. Yeah, I guess we're not as young as we think we are. Well, that's rather a brutal way of putting it, but I'll have to go along with it. Sorry, no offense. As a matter of fact, you look a lot younger than you probably are. Well, thank you. I think. It is probably due to the exciting life you lead. Palm Beach, Newport. Oh, you can only take so much of that. It's nice to relax right here in prosaic summer field. Oh, Paula, we're not so prosaic. You've been to the Mardi Gras and New Orleans. Of course. Well, we have some of the same sort of hoopla here on Founders Day. Founders Day? Yeah, we celebrate that every spring. Right here is where old Otto K. Summers stopped his covered wagon and founded our city. He was lost at the time. Oh. I'm glad you're going to be here for the pageant this year. Quite a thing. Sounds very interesting. I have a big role in it. I thought since we aren't going out tonight, I might entertain you by reading my part. Yes, Babs. Yes, dear. Hee-hee. Thank you, Mother. Good evening, Mr. Gildersleeve. Hello, Babs. Leroy. Hi, Aunt. Hi, Mrs. Winthrop. Hello, Leroy. By the way, Babs, I haven't thanked you for returning my elks to. Oh, that's all right. The minute I saw it, I knew it had to be yours. Mother, are you and Mr. Gildersleeve going out this evening? No, we're staying home. Mr. Gildersleeve is going to read his part in the founder's day pageant. Oh, brother. The what? Mr. Gildersleeve? It's a play we home folks put on every year. You run along, dear. Yeah, let's scram. But we'd love to hear Mr. Gildersleeve, if we may. Wouldn't we, Leroy? Well, who throughout Morton would you like an audience? Oh, the kids aren't really interested. On the contrary, I wouldn't miss it for anything. Stand up in front of the fireplace and recite, Mr. Gildersleeve. Babs, maybe you'd rather wait and see it and be surprised. I'd rather be surprised tonight. Well, shall I read the scene where I'm standing on the hilltop in my coon skin cap and buckskin pants or the one ten years later when I'm wearing button shoes and a beaver hat? They both sound nice and juicy. I wonder if she's trying to make a monkey out of me. Go ahead, Throckmorton. Well, the pageant opens with a lot of people surrounding me on top of the hill. And we're all singing. After that, I look out over the green valley below and say... Mr. Gildersleeve, you aren't going to skip the song, are you? You'll hear it later, Babs. Believe me. She doesn't believe I can sing. Of course, I don't want to embarrass Mr. Gildersleeve. Well, perhaps you'd like to omit the song, Throckmorton. Oh, confounded. I'm going to sing it. Oh, groan. I stand there, you see, ready to defend the townside against the Indians and sing... Give me some men who are stout-hearted men who will fight for it, um, da-dee-da. Start me with ten who are stout-hearted men, da-dee-dee-dee. All right, George, I've forgotten the rest. Oh, good. Nelson Eddy can stop worrying. Well, even if you can't sing, you can recite for us. Yeah, Babs, without the customs and all, I have the feeling this is a little dull. Why don't we do something we can all join in? Shall we play Scrabble? That's too much like going to school. Well, you kids like to dance. Let's dance. Oh, hunk. Yeah, I'll put on one of these wreckage. Yeah, here's a good snappy waltz. Come on, Paula. Oh, please, Throckmorton, I don't think I can dance again tonight. I'll dance with you, Mr. Gelder sleeve. You? Well... Why does he always lead with his chin? Of course, waltzing is a little anti-diluvian, but... Oh, it's easy. He just swing into it. One, and the two, and dance. Well, Babs, you're dancing as the cat's pajama, you see. Oh, brother, I gotta do something about it, hunk. We'll be back in just a minute. Wouldn't you ladies like to have all the nylon stockings you need at less than half price? Wouldn't you jump at the chance to order first quality 60 gauge 15 denier nylons for only 75 cents a pair? Kraft's Parquet Margarine now makes this possible. It's an even better value than last year's money-saving offer. Last year, you could order 51 gauge Power's Model Nylons. But now you can get Power's Model Nylons that are the new 60 gauge with more fine stitches to the inch to make them extra snag-resistant and longer-wearing. John Robert Powers styled these nylons for the famous Power's Models. They're sheer and lovely, yet wonderfully durable and practical. First quality is guaranteed. Each pair carries the United States testing company's seal of approval. Luxurious, full-fashioned nylons like these usually sell for at least $1.65. But you can order them for only 75 cents a pair when you buy Parquet Margarine. Full instructions for ordering your Power's Model 60 gauge nylons are printed in every package of Parquet. You have a choice of six sizes. Two of the season's smartest shades. And two seam styles. Just include 75 cents for each pair, along with the yellow end flap from a Parquet package. Tomorrow, be sure to get the delicious margarine made by Kraft, the margarine that spreads smoothly even when ice cold, Parquet Margarine. Seems there comes a time in the life of teenagers when they think anybody older than a teenager belongs in a museum. Of course, I knew bads and stuff. That way about Mr. Giltsley for quite a while. But, Bertie was surprised when Leroy began noticing it. He's in the dent, Leroy. Dozing? No, he came home, put on his slippers, and he's in there reading. Well, I gotta have a man-to-man talk with Uncle. What's that, boy? You know, Ice, he isn't keeping up with the times. You kids left him in the dust, huh? No, kid, and this is serious, Bertie. Yes? Oh, can I come in? Certainly, my boy. Thanks. Can I have a talk with you? Yeah, you bet. You sit down. Maybe I better close the door. What's the matter? Well, serious. Oh? How much money do you need? What is money? I thought you said it was serious. Well, say this. It's nothing personal, you understand? What isn't personal? Well, let's start with your elk's tooth. What about it? If you're gonna wear it, you might lose it again like you did yesterday. Maybe you better hide it away someplace, like in a safe deposit box. Well, I won't lose it again, my boy. You can stop worrying. Uncle, I got a level with you. What? Will you please not wear that tooth and watch chain? Of course, it doesn't bother me, but other people might think it dates you. Hmm. I take it you think your old uncle is behind the time. Well, I hope you'll understand, Uncle. I want to be proud of you. Well, I want you to be my boy. And just remember, when you're dancing, you don't start out saying, oh, one, and the two, and dance. Oh, so that's it. And another thing. You don't tell girls they're the cat's pajamas. That went out with curly hair. What do you mean curly hair? I mean, it's old stuff. Well, what do you want me to say? They're the cream in my coffee? Uncle, just don't dig me. Things are coming to a pretty pass when youngsters start criticizing their elders. I thought the elders were supposed to criticize the youngsters. You really doesn't even like my pocket watch. You wonder how I'd look in a wrist watch. I think I'll see what PD has. Hello, PD. Hello, Mr. Gildersley. What can I do for you this morning? Before I make any purchases, I'll have a cup of coffee. I didn't have to purchase that, too. I know that. I don't expect you to give it to me. Coffee prices being what they are, I don't even give it to myself. You don't? Every time I have a cup, I put a diamond in cash register. There you are, Mr. Gildersley. I ain't gonna have a half a cup with you that'll only cost me a nickel. Why don't you drink your coffee at home, PD? Mrs. PD is diluting it now. Oh, PD, I want to ask you a question. Very well. Would you say I'm behind the times? No, I wouldn't say it. Did one of your lady friends intimate that you were? No. It's Leroy and his crowd. I don't imagine they consider you any ball of fire. What's this? Unless it would be Halle's Comet. That hasn't been around since 1910. All right, PD. You don't seem to take this seriously. Well, I'm not the one they say is behind the times. Well, by George, I'm just as up to date as the next fellow. These kids just have immature ideas. You don't change. Leroy says I shouldn't use expressions like, she's the cream in my coffee. Well, I don't blame him. That went out of the curly hair. How did you get that? I picked it up from the kids who come in here. I'm hip, Dad. I wouldn't worry about it, though, Mr. Gilder-Sleeve. You're just going through a phase. A phase? You're in a difficult age. Not young, not old, somewhere between awkward and quaint. What do you mean? You're just plain corny. In their eyes, of course. No, PD, don't try to sneak out of it. I said I was corny. I said the kids think so. Well, I'm not conforming to their ideas. They just have to accept me the way I am and like it. I don't think you're playing it very smart. That did it. Now you're criticizing me. No, I'm not. I never criticized a customer. Well, you just lost a customer. I was going to get rid of my old pocket watch and buy a new timepiece. You wouldn't have anything to suit me anyway. No, I wouldn't say that. What? I just happened to have one cuckoo clock. Oh, cuckoo. Can't even concentrate on the evening paper. Imagine being practically called an old fogey by an old fogey like Peavey. You know, I shouldn't say that. He's a fine friend. Sorry I argued with him. But can he be right? Does everybody think I'm out of step? Cutting, Miss Gale, please. Oh, hello, Bertie. You want your slippers? I found it, no. Why, Mr. Gale, see? Oh, I'm sorry, Bertie. I didn't mean that. I guess I'm out of sorts. Yes, sir. So are you feeling blue? Well, I'm just taking stock of myself. Oh, then you ought to be feeling on top of the world. I should? Because that's where you are on top of the world. Oh, I'm not so sure, Bertie. You shouldn't be blue. You got good health, a good job, and one of the fanciest titles in town. You will. And when it comes to good-looking girlfriends, you load it. You got two school teachers, a travel agent, a girl from the notion counters at Hogan Brothers, and a society lady from Florida. Well, that's all well and good. But there are people who think I'm a little corny. Well, you can't have everything. My George Paula's been around. She knows whether or not I'm a square. I'm going to find out. I do want Leroy to be proud of me. Oh, come in, Throckmorton. Hello, Paula. Are Leroy and Babs around? Well, I think they're at the drugstore. Sit down. Paula, I want you to give me a straight answer. Do you consider me a back number? Oh, not so far back. Why? Well, you take my dancing. How is it? I'll shut my eyes while you tell me. Why, you're no worse than other businessmen, I know. I'm not. Does it bother you because you're no Fred Astaire? Well, I haven't had many complaints except an occasional ouch. Why this sudden concern? To tell you the truth, I think I'm beginning to embarrass Leroy. And I wondered if others noticed it. What do you mean? Well, he thinks my dancing's old-fashioned. I haven't kept up with the jive talk. Well, if it'll make you feel better, Babs thought it was terrible that I came home from a smart winter resort and hadn't learned to do the creep. The creep? New dance. Oh, well, somewhere through the years, I'm afraid I missed the boat. Seems I got old-fashioned all of a sudden. Perhaps I take after my father too much. Oh? He was really old-fashioned. He was a fine old gentleman, but married to the past. There's nothing strange about that. My sweet little mother was the same way. I got so upset with mother because she wouldn't cut her hair. You? Throckmorton, every woman was bobbing her hair. Honestly, I thought mother was positively anti-diluvian. Babs said that about my waltzing. I was always a much better dancer than my father. Throckmorton, do you realize what we're doing? What? We're criticizing our parents just like Lee Roy and Babs criticize us. Say, I hadn't thought of that. I guess it's difficult for one generation to understand the other. Yeah, but we have to keep up. You suppose we should practice some of the new dance steps while the kids aren't here to talk about us? Why don't we? Babs has some of her records here. You'll have to show me some of the new steps, Paula. Oh? It seemed to be my old records. Oh, look at this. Well, the Charleston. I remember when that came out. Hey, let's put that on and give it a whirl. All right, roll back the rug, Throckmorton. Yeah, you bet. Oh, that Charleston was a real dance. Well, let the music go to waste. All right, George. It's been a long time since I've done this. That's very fancy steps, Throckmorton. Watch this. My goodness. It's Lee Roymbach's. Zeke? Now they will think we're old hats. It is? Yeah, William! I don't get it, but I'm glad I got it. The Great Gilded Sleeve will be back in just 30 seconds. Tomorrow's the day to begin building your wardrobe of glamorous nylon stockings at less than half price. Just pick up Kraft's delicious parquet margarine when you're shopping. You'll find full instructions in every parquet package for ordering a pair of famous Power's Model 60-gauge nylons for only 75 cents. Millions of women are cutting their hosiery budgets more than half this easy way. You can order a new pair of flattering, long-wearing nylons every time you buy parquet margarine. Oh, Mr. Gilded Sleeve. Phoebe, I'm on top of the world. No, you're not. You're in my drug store. You know what I mean. I'm pretty happy about the way things turned out with Leroy. You don't think? Yeah. He and Babs accept me practically as an equal. Well, I'm hip, Dad. My, my. Yes, sir. The kids really like me. They even asked me to chaperone a party tonight. Yes, you know. You do? Yeah, Leroy and Babs were in here saying what a fine fellow you were. Oh, well. And they're counting on the chaperone to pay for three gallons of ice cream they already did. Oh, my goodness. Good night, folks. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of The Great Gilded Sleeve. Nappy craft mustard with horseradish added if you like it zippy. Get both kinds of craft prepared mustard at your food store. Oh, play You Bet Your Life with Croucho Marks on the NBC radio network.