 Hello there, my beautiful, lovely, delightful, and good-looking internet friends. Welcome back to my channel. Thank you so much for joining me here today on Bullet's Show, where I am still Joe. I am still missing a foot, which means I am technically, legally, and medically disabled. And I've been thinking a lot recently about this word disabled and disability and what it means to different people and how society perceives it. I saw this video pop up on my recommended feed by Jubilee, titled Do All Disabled People Think the Same? Now, as a YouTuber, it is very important that you hop on trends quickly. If you're doing some kind of commentary video on another video, make sure you do it fast so the algorithm picks it up. So I thought I'd wait a full year and a half to respond to this video. Before we do that, a really big thank you goes out to all my patrons over on Patreon who financially support this channel and make these videos possible. I'm eternally grateful for each and every one of you. If you're interested in joining Patreon or learning a little bit more about what that is, there's a link on screen. You can also click in the description down below. And without further ado, let's do this. I don't necessarily think that it's a bad word and that it's something we shouldn't use, but I also don't think it should be the only word that defines us either. I totally get that. And I think when you say you're disabled, oftentimes people assume that that is the core of your identity, when in fact, it probably, most likely. I'd even say 99% of the time is not. It's just a part of who you are. I understand disabled means not able to. And I feel like I'm able to do most things that an able person can do. I just have to do them differently. I think it's a better word than words that have been used to describe me. Before they actually make their selections, I'm gonna go ahead and say no, absolutely not. But let us see what our new friends think. Healthcare, from my point of view, is not made for people who have chronic disabilities, chronic diseases. Even if you have medical coverage, you're still paying a portion of those bills. It's a cycle that you put yourself in debt so that you can't get a proper apartment or get a house for the people who they count it as SSI. So it's low income social security. They think that you should be able to live off of like $900 a month. There's also a thing with it. You can't have more than $2,000 in your account for checking and savings. And as soon as you hit a cent over it, you lose your social security because they think you're making too much. So I have a chronic illness called idiopathic hypersomnia which is a sleep disorder. From the onset of symptoms, it took eight years to even get sent to a sleep doctor. Okay, so I think that they bring up a really good point specifically with that. Chronic issues, chronic pain, chronic illness is so difficult to deal with on a personal level but is almost impossible or feels like that on a medical level because so routinely your concerns are dismissed and it takes years upon years to get properly diagnosed. I have a very simple story in the fact that it only took me a few years to have an answer for what's going on but many people it's much longer than that and it's hard. It's honestly hard to get doctors and medical professionals to believe you and take you seriously and refer you to the proper places and have those people take you seriously. And not to mention the education system. I'm so lucky that I have an IEP. I couldn't imagine what school would be like if I didn't but even with that getting the accommodations of like my teacher is trying to understand that I only come to school three out of five days a week and that I can't do busy work because I'll fall asleep quite literally. I legally have these rights to not do certain work and sometimes teachers just don't understand that and it's so hard to not argue with them so that I can just be a normal student. Having to argue with someone or convince them of the validity of your disability or what you're dealing with is one of the, it's very dehumanizing and so backwards and just awful feeling. A lot of people have been so understanding and accommodating and like, oh, I heard about that from this TV show or like, is it like this or like. That's so true. And one of the reasons why I believe that representation in media is so important because a lot of people get their understanding of like in my case amputees and PTSD from TV and television shows. And when they're asking me questions about my leg, they're like, oh, does that mirror trick from Grey's Anatomy work and things like that? Like it's just, like it's human nature in our society right now to draw comparisons and get education from popular media. So it's important the popular media does a good job of representation which, you know, it's got some work to do on that. But it also can do a pretty fantastic job sometimes. So for me, I would agree but I would come from like a face of understanding because I feel like even people with disabilities don't understand other people with disabilities as well because I feel like, you know, you could have the same kind of disability, the same type but the way it affects you could be very different. What Paul brought up in particular is something that really resonates with me is the fact that disability, even if you have the same label, even if you have the same disability, it affects everybody in very different ways. Like me being a below the knee amputee affects my life in every meaningful way but I'm able to go hiking and I'm learning to run and that is not the case for every amputee. Like the spectrum of what an amputee experiences is completely personal. So yes, people are ignorant about disability. I am ignorant about disability. I think education is so important because education promotes empathy and understanding in just a better society. I think it's impossible not to be ignorant about disability at least right now in our society. I use a cane on and off. When I do have my cane, I like that people offer me help when I'm riding the Metro or the bus but then it's the extra comments that they think they're doing like a great deed that they're gonna win a Nobel Peace Prize and they'll start infantilizing me. Oh, you're so cute and tiny and you're too young to be sick. I just don't like the extra comments or the help. I've had strangers like come up behind me and just start pushing me even though I don't necessarily need to help with that. That is so bad. To anyone watching this video, if you didn't know, pushing someone in a wheelchair without their permission is really, really not cool. So invasive and so uncomfortable and so not someone's place. So please don't do that. It also puts us at risk of injury. I have nerve damage in my feet so I look down a lot when I walk because it helps me keep my balance and then I've had people see that I'm like trying to get through and they'll grab my arm to guide me and I almost always fall because I'm already so in my zone. So like just don't touch people because you could injure them. For me, it's always been important to go back to intention around people offering help because the vast majority of the time if someone wants to help, it comes from a good place. It's just that the execution of that is not always fantastic. So like I always appreciate it but there are times where it makes things more difficult or it makes me feel less human or weird or other. So I would like never get upset with someone for offering help because I know that it probably is coming from a really good place but there are times when it's very not needed and times where it's counterproductive and times where it can be hurtful. So it's kind of like a yes and situation. Yes, I do appreciate it but also unless you know me or you're asking my permission first, just giving help is generally not something that's particularly beneficial. I also hate the invasive questions that come with dating. I've been asked so many times, can you even have sex? Or the men who fetishize it. Oh, I've had a guy ask me to bring the cane into the bedroom, just insane ridiculous things. Yeah, the fetishizing. I'm struggling with that word fetishizing. Fetishizing, I think that's how you say it. That thing about disability is something like it's really uncomfortable really quickly. I've talked about this before but there is a group of people who have a fetish around amputation and hey, if that's your thing and you're respectful with consenting adults, go for it. But there are a lot of people who are not respectful and who will send really extremely uncomfortable messages objectifying you because of your disability and that is not okay. Yes. Real-chair accessible vehicles are very, very expensive. So it's my parents or my brother that often have to take me from place to place. I know a lot of the time they don't mind and my mind just takes it to that place just because I can be a very pessimistic thinker a lot of the time. But I do a lot of the time feel like a burden in that way. No matter who you have around you, even if you have the most supportive, amazing people around you, I feel like it's impossible not to feel like a burden at least at some times. Like my husband has never made me feel bad for the stuff that I deal with. My parents have never made me feel bad. Like they've never said anything directly but I know how much my medical issues have affected them. Like they bring up the financial aspect of things. Losing my leg has had a tremendous financial impact on my husband and I and I know that that's my fault. Like it's, I'm the reason that that is something that we've had to deal with. Even if someone is not saying you're a burden or this is hard for me because of you, you still see the effects that your disability has on people and that's hard. Like the extra accommodations or time or lack of energy or the times when I'm not in a fantastic mood because I'm dealing with pain or whatever. I know that those affect Brian. He may not make me feel like crap about it but I know that it's a factor. And so I definitely do feel like a burden sometimes but it's generally not because someone has like forced me to feel that way. It's just sort of, I feel like inevitable. Kind of the reason I moved all the way to Los Angeles, my family's on the East Coast and I figured if I'm not near them, they can't take care of me. So they're free to live however they wanna live. I've had friends who have just left me because they didn't wanna accommodate and I try to work on that of like no, I'm not a burden but it's hard sometimes. I'm free. I'm interested what everyone's answer to this will be. Very divided, that makes sense. I'm right here because it has taught me many life lessons and it has made me a stronger person. When I was younger, I would used to get stared at a lot and so that would really affect me but because I experienced that, I now have the strength to realize that how others are looking at me doesn't matter. It's given me a lot of opportunities to help people get out of their dark times. Even though I know that I've had an impact on people and I can relate to people in a way that I probably couldn't have before, I'm in pain every second of every day. I would give almost anything to not have that anymore. This is one of those questions that I always feel so conflicted answering, especially in any kind of public space because I definitely feel both sides of it but at the end of the day, like if tomorrow I could wake up not in pain and not having migraines and not dealing with a leg that isn't there and not having to assemble myself every morning, yeah, I would probably do that but at the same time, I also recognize the fact that being an amputee is a part of my life. It's a part of my identity. It's a part of who I am. And it's given me so many opportunities that I would not have had otherwise and friendships and connection and community, which is incredible, but it also has come at a great cost. And so I don't, I don't know. I feel like my answer is yes, I probably would change it but it's not like I sit and think all the time about like, I wish it was different because I definitely don't. Not because I can't say I'm fulfilled until I impact more people. I could change everything, of course, but I think that my life and my example is starting to help people in many different facets. And I think part of being a good human is trying to help as many people in your life. And I think I'm starting to do that. I love that both of their answers came back to like helping people and impacting others cause that's a desire for so many of us and so important. I think as a human being, also as a disabled person, the person who happens to be disabled, I would have to go with like somewhat agree because I think I'm always looking for fulfillment. I'm always looking for like more meaning and purpose. But to a large extent, I do feel like I'm living a fulfilling life, at least working towards it. And in the moments that I feel unfulfilled, it's not because of my disability. It's just because of life. I love that Jubilee does these videos. I also would love to see and do all amputees think the same video. Oh gosh, if I could, oh my God, if I could be a part of that video, it would literally be a dream come true cause I watched Jubilee videos for quite some time now. Hey, so if you work at Jubilee and you know someone you can make a suggestion to, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I could make time to be there. I love these videos bringing together people who society might see as similar or the same and hearing different perspectives because it helps us understand that everyone is an individual and things differently. So thank you Jubilee for this video. Thank you you for sitting here and watching with me and learning a little bit. I've linked to the original video down below. A huge thank you goes out to all my patrons over on Patreon for making these videos possible. I truly appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you. And to you watching this video right now, thank you so much for spending a few minutes out of your day here with me today. You could be anywhere else in the world doing anything else. And you chose to hang out with me for a few minutes and that means a lot to me. Thank you. I love you guys. I'm thinking about you and I will see you in the next video. Bye guys. Have her from the sky.