 The Jack Benny program, quality of product is essential to continuing success. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So round, so firm, so fully packed. So free and easy on the draw. LS, MFT! LS, MFT! LS, MFT! Of course, you said it. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. At 40, at 40, at 40, at 40, at 40, at 45, sold American. Independent tobacco experts, auctioneers, buyers and warehousemen know tobacco. They can see just who buys what tobacco. These experts present at the tobacco auctions can see lucky strike. Select and buy the finer, the lighter, the naturally milder Lucky Strike tobacco. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco, Lucky Strike. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Barry Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Larry Stephens, and yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, next Sunday night we will be broadcasting from New York City where Jack Benny is going to open the March of Dimes Infantile Paralysis Drive. So let's go to Jack's house in Beverly Hills where he's busy preparing for the trip. The east side, west side, all around the town. I wonder if the little flowers leaves are turning brown. La la la la la la la, sweet Georgia brown. Oh boy, New York, bright lights, Broadway. So much excitement in New York. Subways, taxi cabs, people rushing around. That's where you see all the old water blacks. Powers, elephants, sharky, the train seal. Fink's mules, Fred Allen. Let's see now, I'll cash a check when I get to New York but I'll need some money on the train. Better figure out how much I'll need. See, there'll be nine meals in the diner at 50 cents a meal. That's a four-fifty. Maybe I should get Rochester to pack some sandwiches. Nah, how often do you go to New York? Besides, you get jelly all over the berth. Anyway, nine meals at four-fifty. Yeah, that'll cover it nicely. But to be on the safe side, I'll take $5. I better get it out of the safe now. Who goes there? It's only me, Ed. It's okay. Oh, hello, Mr. Benny. How've you been, Ed? Oh, fine, fine. Oh, by the way, Mr. Benny. Yeah? Who won the election? Roosevelt. It was pretty close. So Hoover's out, huh? Yes, yes, a long time ago. Oh, say Ed, you have a nice Christmas? Yes, quiet but nice. Good, good. Oh, Ed, I just want to open my safe for a minute. Oh, yes, sir. Shall I turn my back? No, no, no, no, no, it's all right. Now, let's see, the combination of the safe is right to 45, left to 160, back to 15, then left to 110, there. I forgot to turn off the alarm. Now, let's see. Oh, there's a loose $5 bill. Yep, that's all I'll need. So long, Ed, I'll see you in the spring. Take it easy. So long. Well, I'll take care of that. Now, if I can get finished packing here. Oh, it's you, boss. I heard your burger alarm go off, so I rushed back in from the garage. Oh, you mean you can hear it way out there? Hear it? Everybody in Family Hill is digging a fox hole. Well, I like to be on the safe side. Anyway, I'm glad you came in, Rochester. I want you to finish packing my trunk. Yes, sir. Oh, oh, say, boss. What? I packed your two pays in that hat box. My two pays? Yeah, I put in the blonde one, the dark one, the curly one, and the two with the fur line. Good. Do you want to take the one with the cowlick? The cowlick? Yeah, you know, the one you say makes you look like Van Johnson. No, never mind that one. I'll be associating with an older crowd in New York. By the way, Rochester, you finished your own packing? I didn't do any packing. I'm traveling life this year. Life? Yeah, one pair of shoes, two pairs of shorts, three pairs of socks, and four pairs of dice. Dice, I should have known. I suppose you think you're going to New York and clean out the town. I sure am, boss. But I'll admit Wall Street has me a little worried. What do you mean? Well, I can bring back the money myself. But how am I going to move those buildings? Now you're just being silly. Look, Rochester, get my suits out of the closet. Go ahead, Rochester. I'll answer the door. Oh, hello, Larry. Why aren't you home packing? Well, I'm packed already. I just came over to see if I could help you. Oh, I'm getting along all right, kid. Gee, Mr. Benny, I'm all excited. I've never taken such a long trip before. Oh, you'll love New York. Won't you, Rochester? Yes, sir, especially this time of year. You'll see all that snow and the air is so crisp and so cold. Yeah, and don't forget, Larry, we changed at Chicago. Oh, I won't have to. I've got mine on already. Larry, I mean we changed trains. That's where we get off the chief and take the 20th century. Oh, oh. Say, kid, what are you going to sing on our first program in New York? Got it all set? Yes, would you like to hear it, Mr. Benny? Yeah, yeah, I want to see if it's OK. Oh, hold it a minute, kid. There's a phone. Hello? Hiya, Jackson. Oh, hello, Phil, I'm busy packing. Are you packed yet? Well, I would be, but my laundry hasn't come back. My shirts and things. Well, for heaven's sake, we're leaving in two hours. Haven't you any other shirts? No, those were the only ones I had. Oh, well, that's different. Rochester, let everything else go and finish ironing Mr. Harris's shirts. Hurry up. But, boss, you promised Ms. Stanwood you'd get her stuff out first. Ms. Stanwood can wait. This is an emergency. All right, Phil, we'll bring it to the station. OK, see you later, Jackson. I'll meet you on the ship. That's the chief. The chief? That's the name of the train. I know I pulled the switch. Oh, Harris, you clearly headed clown. What keeps you from going hi-hat, you boy? Because you can't get a hi-hat on a low brow. Now, goodbye. OK, Larry, let's hear that song you're going to do, will you, kid? Under starry skies above, dyed open country that I love. Don't let me be by myself in the east. Listen to the murmur of the cotton. Let me straddle my old saddle underneath the western sconce. Let me wander over yonder till I see the mountains rise. Gaze at the moon, can't look at hovels and eyes. Till I see the mountains rise. For next week's program, Larry, I'll meet you at the Santa Fe station a half hour before our train leaves. OK, say, Mr. Benny, when you're on this march of dime's true, would you want me to go along and sing? Oh, sure, kid, I was depending on you. Now, run along, and I'll see you later. OK, goodbye. So long, Larry. Oh, say, Rochester. Yes, boss. As long as we're going on this tour, do you think I should take my violin to New York? You do, and they'll run you up that tree that grows in Brooklyn. They will not. Now go upstairs and get my violin. Come in. Pardon me, are you Mr. Benny? Yes. My name is Wimbish, Malcolm Wimbish. I heard you were going out of town for a while, and I thought maybe you'd rent me your house. Rent my house? No, no, I don't think so. But gee, Mr. Benny, I haven't had a place to live since I got here. The hotels are crowded, and you can't get an apartment, and they're always painting the benches in the park. Well, look, last night I even tried to sleep on a street car. And you couldn't sleep, huh? I couldn't. Clang, clang, clang went the trolley. What? Ding, ding, ding went the bell. Look. Buzz, buzz, buzz. Went the buzzer? No, the guy next to me was snoring. Oh, well, look, fellow. Gee, Mr. Benny, I've got to find a place to live. I ain't got no place to sleep. Well, I'd like to rent you my house, Mr. Wimbish, but I'll be back in just two months. Well, that's all right. I ought to be awake by then. Well, under the circumstances, OK, I'll rent you the house. Thanks. I'll look around and see if I like it. Oh, well, just wander through the house. If there's anything you don't like, let me know. That I will. Now, the dog's gone with all these interruptions. I'll never get finished packing you. Oh, say, boss. Rochester, did you find my violin? Not yet. I looked every place. Where'd you look in the violin case? Uh-huh. Out of the case, all I found was four strings and a fat termite. Not only that, when I peeked in, he spit the bridge at me. Rochester, that's a big fib and you go up. No, I go and find my violin. Now what is it? Come in. Hello? Oh, Mr. Benny, I'm calling Ms. Livingston's maid. Yes, yes, I know. Well, I came over to tell you that Ms. Livingston has a bad cold, so instead of meeting you at the house, she's going right to the station and get on the train. Oh, Ms. Livingston has a cold? That's too bad. Did you rub something on her chest? I tried to, Mr. Benny, but she's ticklish. Oh, well, what about the doctor? He's ticklish, too. No, no, Paulie, I meant, what did the doctor say about her cold? Well, he said she could go to New York as long as she got right in her birth and stayed there. Oh, well, thanks for coming over and telling me. You're welcome. Oh, Mr. Benny. Yes? What is it, Paulie? Well, Ms. Livingston didn't have room for all her things, so she wants you to put this in your suitcase. This? Yes. Well, Paulie, I don't want to take that. I mean, suppose my suitcase falls open, people will see it. I mean, what would they think? Well, they could think it's yours. Mine, mine don't have those clips for the stocking. Now, Paulie, you better run down to the train. Ms. Livingston may need you. Goodbye. Goodbye. Oh, Paulie, Paulie. Oh, she took the girdle with her. I'm good. I made it to Benny. Huh? Oh, yes, yes. I looked around the house, and it looks pretty good. But tell me, do you have any mice? Mice? Well, well, I have to admit that we do have a few. Good. I hate to live alone. Oh, oh. I'll go look at some of the other rooms now. Yes, make yourself at home. Is the democratic sort of a guy, is he? Now, say, Rochester, I just happened to think of something. I've got to make some speeches at several banquets, so I better take along my tuxedo. Uh-oh. What's the matter? Well, I was pressing your pants, and I think I left the iron on a wee bit too long. Oh, my goodness. Did you burn a big hole in them? Boss, if Tennessee could have found a hole that size, they'd have scored a touchdown. What? Roughly, you were burned out on a 10-yard line. Well, look, maybe I can wear my. Oh, Jess, when I'm in a hurry, then. Hello? Hello, Jack. This is Don Wilson. Look, Don, I'm trying to get packed. What is it? Oh, I've got some terrible news for you. What? What is it? Well, I hate to tell you this, but yesterday I lost the money you gave me for the railroad tickets. Oh, for heaven's sake, we leave in less than an hour. Did you put an ad in the paper? Yes, Jack, I went down. As soon as it happened, I wrote out an ad that said, lost Saturday, money for tickets for the Jack Benny show on the Santa Fe Chief to New York. Well, good. But the newspaper said it was too long, so I cut it down to lost Saturday, money for tickets. Lost Saturday, money for tickets. Well, that's all right. No, no, they said it was still too long. So I just used the initials, LSMFT. LSMFT, but Don, how will you get the money back? LSMFT stands for Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco. Yes, Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco. I know, but did you get an answer to the ad you put in the paper? Yes, one man called up. Good, what did he say? He said, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, you soul-American. Don, you mean a man called you up just to say, nah, nah, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. That's what he said. That's what the man said. He said that. What? Thaw Jack. Imagine scaring me like that. Then Don's kind of cute and is fully packed away. Right, Chester, you'd better start taking out the bags. We've got to leave right now. OK, boss, OK? I'll just put on my tie and my coat and then I'll be ready in almost any time now. Hey, Mr. Benny. Oh, yes, yes, I forgot about you. I looked around the house, and I like it all right. But in the kitchen, I turn the faucets on, and the hot water runs cold, and the cold water runs rusty. Rusty? You're in California, Bob. That's orange juice. Now here's the key. Come on, Rochester, let's go. Put on your red cap and carry my bags to the train. I got to meet my gang, and we're all supposed to meet here at the information desk. Oh, there they are. Hey, Phil, Don. Oh, hello, Jack. Hiya, Jackson. Say, fellas, Mary went right to the train. She's got a cold. Oh, that's too bad. Say, what are you carrying there under your arm? Well, I heard it was pretty cold in New York, and I want to be on the safe side. But, Jackson, a smudge pot. Well, I'm not taking any chances. Rain leading on track five for Anaheim, Azusa, and Cucamonga. Does anybody want to go to Anaheim? Say, Don, have you got all the tickets? Well, not quite, Jack. At the last minute, Phil said he needed an extra one. Phil, who are you sneaking on this trip with you? Well, it's Frankie, my guitar player. I got to take him along on account of the magazines. The magazines? Yeah, he reads to me. For goodness' sake, now I have to buy another ticket. Hey, Jack, where you been? Ain't seen you around. What? Oh, hello, hello. Who was that, Jackson? Oh, he's a racetrack tout that used to hang around Hollywood Park, you know? Well, I'll meet you later, fellas. Now, let's see, the ticket window ought to be. Rain leading on track five for Anaheim, Azusa, and Cucamonga. Oh, come on, somebody must want to go to Anaheim. Now, let me see, the ticket window ought to be. Hey, Jack, hey, Jack, come here a minute. Huh? Oh, it's you again, huh? What is it? I didn't want to say anything while you were with your friends there, but where you going? New York. What train you taking? The Chief. Uh-uh. Why, what's the matter? Tank the El Capitan. But I like the Chief. Come here a minute. And take my tip, but the El Capitan will beat the Chief in the Kansas City by three lents. What? According to yesterday's performance, it can't miss. Well, look, I'm sorry, I'm taking the Chief, you know? Look, come here a minute. Uh-huh. I was talking to the engineer who's riding El Capitan, and he tells me that today she's ready. Well, I don't know. And look at the breeding. El Capitan is by 20th century out of Golden State limited. Well, thanks for the tip, but I'm going to stick to the Chief. Why? Come here a minute. Don't noise this around, see? No. But I found out the Chief is a sleeper. So long, fella. OK, OK, so long. Let's see, the ticket window should be the... Train leaving on track five. Look, we're not asking much, two of you, or even one of you. Just somebody to keep the engineer company. Here's the ticket window. Oh, pardon me, are you the ticket clerk? Well, what do you think I am in this cage, a canary? Don't get huffy about all I want is a ticket on the Chief. Oh, would you like the $60 ticket or the $140 ticket? Well, what's the difference? Well, with the $140 ticket, you ride inside. Well, naturally, I want to ride on the inside. After all, you know, I'm not as young as I used to be. You're not as young as anybody used to be. Now, don't get fresh. All I want is a ticket to New York. Return trip? No, one way. Good. Not wasting time, I have to get to New York by Thursday. I'm sorry, but our trains are all booked up. Well, think, man, think, there must be one train that has room for me. Leaving on track five. I've waited here long enough. You've just got to get to New York. Well, you're in luck, blue eyes. I found one ticket on the Chief. Good, I'll take it. The Chief! Hurry up, will you, clerk? Thanks, thanks. Well, Jack will be back in just a minute. But first, here's my good friend, Effie Boone. PRESENTER 1, 2, 3. Half- Ved, half- Ved. Smoked that smoke of fine tobacco. Smoked that smoke of fine tobacco. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, smoked that smoke of fine tobacco. Lucky strike. For lucky strike means fine tobacco. And in a cigarette, it's the tobacco that counts. It takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette. Remember, lucky strike means fine tobacco. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. Defendant. The famous tobacco auctioneer has heard on tonight's program are Mr. L.A. Speed Rigs of Goldsboro, North Carolina. And Mr. F.E. Boone of Lexington, Kentucky. And Mr. F.E. Boone of Lexington, Kentucky. This is Basil Rizedale speaking for Lucky Strike. L.S. M.F.T. L.S. M.F.T. L.S. M. F.T. Smoke Lucky Strike. A cigarette that means fine tobacco. Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco, so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. Pauline, how's Miss Livingston? Oh, she's fine. Can I go in the compartment and see her? Well, she's asleep right now. Oh, well, I'll see her later. Second doctor? Yes, sir. How long before we get to San Bernardino? Oh, it'll be about two hours, sir. Two hours? Why so long? First, we got to go through Anaheim, Azusa, and Kukamunga. Oh, that guy got his way anyway. Good night, folks. This is the national broadcasting company. You're tuned to KFI, Los Angeles.