 Y night in the Night in the Night is sponsored by White's Beckinsfield. White's Beckinsfield is the number one company in the UK to brighten up your smile at a very affordable price. Get your perfect smile today using code AGJamesEnglish at checkout for a 15% discount on all products. White and Kit from White's Beckinsfield. I'm on day 5, out of 7, my teeth are looking white. Felly mae'r bwysig iawn, ond mae'n cael f doomillu sut yn ei gŽed. Felly mae'n gwrth gyda'r wladig ymddangos, ac mae'n gwrth gyda'r wladig IMA. Ymddangodd gwahanol gyda'r bydd hwnnw, mae'r bydd yn gor sem. Yn oed yn f beautiful ac yn fwyno'r cymdeidl. Ac mae'r bydd yn ymdangos fel awt. Yr y ffordd maen nhw. Mae'n ei gallu iawn. Felly yw synthesis. Felly mae'r llif erom citedr na cwrdd ychydig. Mae'r llifon yn uwch. Rhaid wych chi fel fyddon, a iddi'n dwych, rhaid i'n fawr, rhaid i'n fawr, rhaid i'n fawr. Mae'n sicr bysd sydd busr yn ni, ond yma'w fydda pheth a dwylo'n gweld eich оthod yn ei rhywbeth. Rheinyn chi ddim yn lle gwneud o wybodaeth yn yr unrhyw ei fod yn bwyd. Rhaid i'n gwybod, rhaid i'n gwybod. Rhaid i'n gwybod. Rhaid o phosbydd o ddweud o rhaid. Kate mae'r audiwn yn 40. Gwya'r ffordd pethau. Ychwaneg? Mae'r cymryd hyn yn ydyn nhw. Mae yna wedi gweld y gwaith sy'n gweithio. Mae'r pethau yn ysgrifennu. Mae'n hyn yn gwneud. Mae'n hyn yn gwneud. O'r gwaith cyhoeddiad, mae'n amser am amser i'n gwneud a'n 20 milio gwneud. A yna gynnwys, mae'n gwneud i chi'n dda'r gweithio, Jordan'r crossdressor. Mae'n oed yn yn ymdig. I've got to say something, if I don't say something, it's blown, I'm like, you've orchestrated this and created this. Is that not revenge porn? Hello, hello. This is beyond disgusting. I felt raped, absolutely raped, in every single way. And it's someone who promotes anti-bullying. And someone who promotes trolling has trolled, and I've got all the trolling evidence. I've got a whole stack of evidence where she's like threatened to destroy me publicly. A time and time again, because of the sick, disgusting videos that she's got of me. I was a liar, absolute liar. And I don't want to say that I'm a sociopath. And I can prove it. Boon, we're on. And today's guest we've got big Alex Rhee too, aren't you brother? Big. Yeah, big Alex Rhee. Who are you, young man, full of my fans? I'm Mr James English from Glasgow. English, but you're a Glaswegian. Yeah. Is there your name as well? So, let me hear your English accent, darling. Let me hear your English accent, darling. Oh, that's... I hate me. That's fucking huge. I hate you. Are you still trying to do the acting? Yeah, it's not really acting, is it? Yeah, I mean, it's acting and then with that accent. Oh no, I am a darling. Even actually, you say about the fighting. Even I've had over 300 fights, they all act. I was a bullied kid. I'm getting deeper, straight into the deepness. I was a bullied kid who pretended to be tough and wanted to fit in with everybody and I was acting. And then guess what, you get tough along the way. So, I was always an actor, always a darling. Yeah, we're still acting. Everything's an actor that's a charade. Do you find yourself, do you know when you're acting and when you're being? Yeah, the Chinese say there's three different characters. You have one when you're around your friends, one when you're around your family, but the true one is when you're yourself alone. My God, I've just made myself a coffee. Yeah. And it's the most disgusting coffee ever. Oh my God, I don't know how long that coffee's been in that pot. It could be a couple of years. It probably could. Let's have another cup. Yeah, get it down you. I'm sure you've had worse. I would say I would give you some, but I know you don't drink coffee, do you? It's the caffeine free. Because when you heat the alkaloid and the coffee bean, it changes, sorry, when you heat the coffee bean, it changes the alkaloid and it releases chemicals. So it changes your mindset. Yeah. And I know you're big on anti-drugs. Any, any, you don't. The main set. How do you, how do you, no. I mean, this is my drug, my drug of choice. Go me out there. Two or maybe three, sometimes no. And I tried to go some days, none whatsoever. And I, the terrible thing, I drink those go faster potions. You've probably not heard of those, you know? You train? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a Holland and Barrett, you've got all these pills and potions. You know, take this powder and you'll be like this. The long story short, it's not nice. Yeah. But again, because of the addiction personality, I can kick into place. Oh, you're not drinking it? Ah, that's just, that's, that's wrong. I watched one of your podcasts with a son boy and I was surprised. People know you as a fighter. You're your marriages all over the papers. But you were talking about the main set, the pine new gland ayahuasca addictions. I was quite surprised if I'm honest, but some powerful stuff. But before we get into that, I'll always go back to the start, my guests. Where they grew up and how it all began. Grow up. So I'm born and bred from older shop. Old shop is the home of the British Army. It's right at the bottom of the country. Of the United Kingdom. Phyllis soldiers, although it's youngest of six, lots of culture in my family. I grew up the baby. So mum and dad were probably stricter with the first lot. And then I was like real, I could do whatever I want. Like I said, grew up with love, culture, lots of art. Didn't even realise. Dad, I thought like dad was a bit of a hippie, although he was a tough guy. Remember when I was about 14, I was playing in the loft. And I saw some pictures of dad in the uniform. And he was like, well, you're a soldier. Oh, yeah, yeah. He didn't really, he didn't talk about it. And then he was, I found out he was the army boxing champion. And I was like playing with Luke Skywalker and He-Man back then. And wanting to be like a tough guy like them. But my dad's a tough guy. So I want to be like my dad. So I then haven't been bullied as a kid, as I said earlier on. Growing up on people like, Sir Wester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Lee, John Claude Van Damme. I want to be like my hero. So I was always looking for like the He-Man or the Luke Skywalker. And I told him that my dad's a proper hero. And he was a paratrooper. So I wanted to join the army as a young man. Not really realising what it's all about. I just want to be tough. You know, I'm going to be a hero. I'm going to kill the world. And stupid. Do you think that going to the army would have tried to make you tougher to protect yourself from bullies? Was that a sense of like an escape? It's also, I found out, I've got to be tricky how to say this. Someone I love very dearly was raped when she was a little girl. And when I found that out, it made me want to be like the Batman, getting a hero. Edward Woodward was going on at that time, the equaliser. Wanted to go and be a vigilante. And that's why I wanted to be tough. I wanted to protect people. I was also bullied myself. So, but rather than just put up with it, I would always look for ways to get out of it. I would escape into my imagination. How was your teenage years? Was it getting bullied in your teenage years or was that before? Mate, I've been bullied my whole life. I don't like the victim mindset. I refuse to go into that. I've never gone into that. I've always sought a way out, because I was to have a mind man, like someone called an EFT coach, Emotional Freedom Therapy. If you heard of NLP, Hypnosis, it's a bit like who would train me for my fights. And I, what were we saying? About being bullied was it your teenage years? Yeah, so I wanted to prove myself to the bullies. I wanted to fit in. I wanted acceptance. But guess what? I wasn't accepting myself. And I noticed all these times I was going off trying to fight the bully or find a cause to fight for somebody else. Ultimately, it was just ultimately I needed to accept myself. Do you accept yourself now? Not entirely. And it's a work in progress. Yeah, I believe I'll always work on myself to the day we die. It's difficult to accept, but childhood trauma is a very powerful thing and it lasts a lifetime to try and deal with some sort of pain or stress or heartache, whatever it is. People getting abused mentally, physically, it is hard to deal with. Did you ever get any counsellor in a therapy at a younger age? I've had loads of therapy. From a young age? Yeah, loads. I remember what I was going to say, then I apologise that this is going to happen. Yeah, it's okay. We go back to the words. I have a mind man and I would go to my mind man because I was being bullied. I was always continually being bullied. He used to train me for my fights to think better. As much as you'd have a coach in the gym to lift more weight, to punch faster, to run harder, you need to have your mind straight. So I was getting so horrendously bullied when I hit the media in the last 10 years with my association with my ex-wife. I felt horrendous. I didn't know how to cope with it. So I had lots of therapy on really soul searching and finding out what's going on. Because that's not nice to feel bullied. And even though at school I started martial arts to beat the bullies and I did and I became a tough guy, became a champion, kit boxer and cage fighter, you know, with more than 15, I think probably 20 titles, ultimately, I'm still getting bullied by the then press media, ex-wives, people on the street because of my negative association. The pen is definitely mited in the sword and I found that in the media. Yeah. Was it your first struggle with that then? Yeah. It's horrendous. I love myself and believe in myself. Even though I said there's parts of myself that you don't entirely accept, you put on a facade and that there's a balance, there's a mishmash of parts I like and don't like. And now I'm learning to shine a torch on those parts I don't like. And there's still, has you got bits about yourself you don't like? Oh yeah, millions, loads of stuff. And you're like, and do you live with regret? Yeah, not as much now. I had to... But you do? Yeah, of course. Yeah, pops up from time to time. People say live with no regret. I'm like, I don't get that. No, it's difficult. If I lived with no regret, I wouldn't be who I am. Yeah. The more you change, when I started getting through, I changed the more my conscience grew and the more I realised how many people are hurt, the bad things that I've done and people say. Forgive and forget. It's difficult because the brain stores everything. The brain's a sponge. I'm forget. Yeah, of course, never. I mean, because that's irresponsible to me. Yeah, cool. When you go under these proper deep subjects, we've just been jovial five minutes before and we've gone... Yeah, but that's what people can relate to, is real talk. Because even though you've had over 300 fates, you've done some... That have I? I mean, there were competitions. Yeah, but does that mean I've heard just talk about that? Have I only had what I'd say a real fight? There are competitions. I mean, I could get knocked out, but I'm not going to get killed. Well, I could potentially. It's dangerous. You could potentially. I mean, I could get... But it's unlikely. I mean, how many... There's not many deaths here. But I'm trained. I'm prepared. I know it's a competition. A fight, I mean a real fight in a war on the street. You know, that's something different. You know, someone was over there. It's over there. What is that? But I just stabbed you. Do you know what I mean? It's like, that's a fight. And you've got to have your wits about you the whole time. And that's not that. I'm not a fighter. Could you think when you've done all the martial arts that would take away your pain? I thought so, because if you're tough. One thing that I've recently, I'm 45 years young. How young are you? 36. 36, you young bar. But how young are you in here? I'm 21. Well, yeah. I'm all out of being 45. Yeah. I mean, um... How do you feel if you've still got your head down here? I eat well. Even though I've done lots of sex drugs and rock and roll, I'm now about longevity and health and balance. And I do the 80-20 rule. 80% good and 20% a bit naughty. Probably less than that even. Probably more like 5%. So you're still strict with your eating stuff? Yeah. I'm not mega strict. If I want to buy chocolate, I'll have a bite of fish and chips. I will eat them. But... Yeah. So see again through, when you started just fighting, doing competitions and stuff, were you still feeling... Were you depressed at a young age? I think it was... I was driven. I was driven. I said I was bullied, but I also had a massive imagination to overcome. Although some people, you could be motivated in two ways, by the pain or by the pleasure. I wasn't so much motivated by the pain of getting myself out of a hole. I was motivated and inspired by being great and amazing, like my heroes. And that's where I saw myself. I focused on the positivity. And it's equally... There are times when... I remember having a boxing training and you tell me, you're shit, you're crap. You need to do this. I'm like... Felt terrible. Did you like getting punched? No. Because I had someone on the show as well. I don't know if it was Ritchie Horsley. He was a street fighter. I'm not sure if it was him. But he used... Someone says he used to like getting punched, but it was a sense of self-harmony. Oh, I can tell about that in a second, self-harmony. But if you ask me, sitting here now, as Alexandreid, not Alexandreid, Alexandreid, I don't like getting punched. But we all... I don't know what you know about alter egos. And putting on different masks. There's a different Alexandreid. It goes a little bit crazy. I had to test violence. I'm scared of it. And it's really weird. I've done one to this. I've become somebody else. Yeah, he can be a little bit crazy. Is that to take you away from your own method of thinking to be a different character? I don't know. Because you're not secure. You say... Who am I? Who am I? Exactly. I don't know. So the person who you says hello that you're around. Because it's still me. Yeah, of course. It's different versions of me. You're not got kids, have you? Yeah, too. Oh, so you're talking to the bank manager and you want to get a massive business loan. You're going to talk very differently and you're going to talk to your kids. How old are they? Ten and nine. Ten and nine. Well, maybe when they're even younger. You're going to talk a little bit silly and to communicate properly. So you become a different... You become dad. Yeah, different faces or different places. Yeah, so you think differently. So it's not appropriate for you to be dad in the bank manager meeting. Yeah. Do you see what I'm saying? So who are you now? Who makes you happy? What character? What name? Alexander? Alex? Who makes you happy yourself? Who are you yourself then? Are you still trying to figure that out? I know, I understand who I am. I understand who I am. I've done enough soul searching and had enough pain, toil and soul. What I think the question was... I often wonder who are you? We're all of these people at different times. If you're down the pub, if you were getting high, you used to get high. It's a very different person to the person you are now. That's the mascot and that's the Lou James Daft. But it's still you. Yeah, of course, but... You're saying that's still part of you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you say who is... Are you denying that part of you now? No, I can't. You can't because that's made us who I am today. So there's a part of you that desires to get high? Yeah, every day. Right. So that's intriguing. So if you really want to get high, is it unhealthy to deny that part of you? No, it's unhealthy because I know how depressed I can get by doing it. I don't believe it's natural to get away from a conscious frame of mind. I don't believe it's natural to sit at house for three, four days for a cocaine and alcohol, being loud and daft and giving your energy away for for what, really? Is that scapeism? But you've got that. I've got that. Listen, this is why I said the regret actually serves its purpose because I've done those things as well. I don't know to what level I've done lots of cocaine and drugs in my past. Even when you're fighting? Yeah, done this. Not while I'm fighting, but I mean in those time periods. I mean obviously when I'm fighting I'm completely disciplined. I've got a mission, shadowing monk, clean, healthy, and then it's party time. But that's like... How well do you feel after it though when you took coke? How long what? How did you feel after that when it's the party, when the lights come down and you have to go home? Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, for me, it was, I, let's talk about the self harm. This is a big subject. What is, did you start? I don't self harm. What do I? What is self harm? Self harm for me was accepting free fights and not training for them because it was the most peaceful thing. I just, this is tricky. Let me rewind, go backwards and I'll go forwards. So I'll go really fast. I meet someone called Katie Price. This is, I was seduced by the whole rigmarole of fame. Didn't really understand it. I always wanted to be famous and I held my hands up. I love the pattern of back, the cheer of a crowd. That's why I like train so hard, get up to go running in the morning to look good for my fights, to go to acting school, to learn my lines and to continually work it out. I want the, they want that adulation. And so all of a sudden that got warped and twisted by the fame. I didn't even know what a papyracti was before I went into the Big Brother House. I wasn't even going to go into the Big Brother House because I never wanted to be famous for being famous. And all of a sudden I, the reason I believe I won Big Brother from being the 40 to 100 to win and getting the highest vote over in the history of Big Brother, 66 or 7%, 20 million people, was because I was innocent. I mean I went in to try and win it but I wasn't, I went in more to show who I really was. Yeah, but you've got a vulnerability about you. And that's the person that people saw that innocence. Yeah. And then guess what? I come out and I'm like, I'm swallowed up by the whole celebrity thing and it walks you like a line or a crack pipe. I was addicted to the fame pipe. Yeah, but again it's all an illusion isn't it? It's all fake and bullshit because I part of me craved that at one point in my life and then you realise it's all bullshit. The more attention I get, the more private I want to be now. Do you know what I mean? And for you who's obviously struggled with childhood trauma as well, battled with some addictions some self-harming to be in front of that limelight, was that, did that, there must have been a part where you enjoyed it as well? Yeah, of course. Of course I did. You say it's all a lie. I was, I've said this so many times. I called the celebrity years, the LSD years. I wasn't taking the LSD but I was everywhere. My life was, I couldn't walk down the street. Everyone knew who I was and part of me loved that. Another part was like, scary, really scary. Like everyone knows who you are but you feel alone. Is that all about? Yeah. It's like I waddled with when I waddled. Yeah and so I remember the marriage, I remember, I don't really want to talk about her. We can go there later. There's lots of ups and downs with Katie. I remember briefly, just before it finished, I wish you weren't famous and I wish you didn't have any money, then we could have a proper relationship and then it broke down and guess what? I got off the fame pipe and I got back on it with the mother of my child, Chantel Houghton, who also won Celebrity Big Brother. But don't do it. She's just like Katie. I don't know but you could trust her. Well actually maybe you can make a few quid as well. Like the fame pipe's coming back and I jumped on it and guess what? It's a dichotomy and a juxtapose because it's one of the best things that's ever happened in my life. I have my daughter Dolly because of Chantel but there's lots of sadness there. I can't, I'm not allowed to go into why and I just want to say absolutely love Dolly and I love you to pieces and there's a reason we're going to go back to your original question why I started fighting again. And I always fight for it because I want it to be strong and big and tough and be a hero and I took fights because I was getting such bullying and harassment in courts, in the press, walking down the street I was getting abuse on the building site people would shout things down about Roxanne, my alter ego. I love her we don't even need to go there but I'm sure you know all about that. Yeah. And I was like right come on in and fuck it out. You know. Stupid. So I was doing a lot of drugs then and I thought to myself this isn't me. I was doing them for escapism. So that's another way of self-harm and I sided to get off the drugs by doing another thing another drug fighting without training. I mean I trained a tiny bit not just to like make the weight. You know that's hardly but you're right because being punched in a cage in front of thousands of people with another world-trained killer was less painful it just shut all the noise off. It was scary this guy's scary he's going to hurt me I don't want to get hurt. I'm not want to get hurt but it was peace because all the noise was turned off from the media and I could just focus on doing what I do turn off everything else all I had to do was focus on it was like therapy but it wasn't. I was basically self-harming. Yeah. How was that life then straight away when you get through it? Was it did you handle it well or did you think this is what everything I've wanted and then you realised wait a minute this isn't what I wanted was there a time when you decided right this isn't for me? Yeah. Listen. I remember the whole the whole Roxanne thing when Kate did the the book launch and she wanted to sort of dress up as girls and I'm like I'm like yeah we laugh and everyone laughs so why is it funny? It's not funny for me because it was it was a private thing that and it became I've come a laugh in stocking in many respects and I lost deals because of it as a brand I mean but I'm not a brand well I am a brand to some degree and I'm like so it's taking me diligent work over years and years just to sort of bury all that stuff and I'm not denying it and thank you for 300 a Boston to promote a book not just a book so I remember I would like let me say the story I just won an alpha male cage fight yeah I'm a hero and and Kate was there and I got absolutely I got punched on the way to the cage I was hated isn't that funny and I won it we went home and we're all part and all drunk and and she's she's seen pictures of me on Facebook dressed up as a bird oh my god did you do that I said yeah oh I've got to do it so all right okay big deal did it had some fun she took some pictures I consented I consented to those pictures but there was nothing sexual just dressed up as a bird cool fun bowling week we're at Simon Cowell's 50th that's I'm not trying to drop that in like that sounds the intro I'm actually that sounds but the reason why I say that is because the world's press with that someone gets drunk shows the world's press all these pictures of me I remember Pierce Morgan coming up to me and sort of like saying it's all right mate I am fine I'm fine I'm fine it's not not fine I'm not fine what I mean that's that's a complete invasion of what the hell we but you are very all I'm not about that stuff let me explain it let me explain it I'm just coming there so the following week of that she's on Graham Norton in front I think 20 million people live on BBC one right and the day before that she's called a horse Jordan's cross dresser right and um I'm like babe I've got to say something if I don't say something it's all it's blown I'm like you've orchestrated this and created this and I'm like all right okay so I'm sitting there with my manager watching her on on live from Graham Norton yeah he's having a well of a time it's great whip chains all the whole you know they say one door closes another Slime shop yeah you've heard me say that before yeah I watched another podcast and he says that yeah yeah and how did you I went along with it I went along with it because I was like what am I supposed to do what am I supposed to do do I just like deny it this is a big thing what does it matter what does it matter and it became and at the time it was kind of liberating to some degree and I did go along with it but I was like inside this isn't cool I'm not I am not cool with this did you feel buried again absolutely I felt raped absolutely raped in every single way it's the most disgusting despicable and it goes on and it's gone on for years I'm not gonna I'm going here now it's gone on so long which is why I've got High Court and Junction against her because in I've been threatened by her publicly on things on shows like Loose Women this morning I've got a whole stack of evidence where she's like threatened to destroy me publicly a time and time again because of these sick disgusting videos that she's got of me which I've not even well I didn't consent to didn't have any knowledge that they've been taken and how the hell can you have these videos I mean surely that would be and if you've had if they were taken in 2010 why are they still cut being reappearing up to 2018 stole is that not revenge porn hello hello this is beyond disgusting and this is still getting and I get I get I got threatened two weeks ago with someone saying that they someone of her staff have got the videos on social media they've been released in about that on in 2018 Kate showed an audience of 40 six footage of myself what just a couple of just not long ago I had four witnesses come forward I have a high court injunction that's criminal so you're still criminal and you're still loving on edge then and then and yes this is why it's just it's made me feel suicidal I have therapy over this and it and I'm talking about it because it's fucking disgusting that this is allowed to go and it's someone who promotes anti-bullying and someone who promotes trolling has trolled and I've got all the trolling evidence and I wasn't even going to go you just you've got me off on one now I didn't even want to talk about this the reason why I talk if I talk about her it's all of a all your whole career is anything to do with her is all is it's only because of her hold on a minute I've got my first biggest TV show a week before I met her and I had a look understandably she highlighted some aspects but it's not the sort of highlighting I ever want How did you meet? Facebook What was that? Facebook Fucks sick Yeah Who sent you after the end request? Yeah my my mate was training was training her she was into her and Pete were into cage fighting and when they split up she wanted to get up a cage fighter and that's how it all started and then 10 years later you're still here yeah listen I mean that's that's I I don't there must have been good points as well though there must have been happy times because you've got married didn't you they did I did I know do you know what I mean yeah have you's never spoken to regret that to regret that getting married regret that why I remember saying on my wedding day to my mum look she's not even she's totally ignoring me she's not even well I'm not even here what's what's going on you know it didn't it's like it was just all for show did you get married for the fame kind of thing and not love I didn't did you really love her I thought so I thought so but did I knowing what love is now and now I have a wonderful partner Nicola I like to really know what love is all about and it's about give and take and it's about compromise and it's about understanding communication and there are conditions it's not completely unconditional not I mean not the unconditional love I have for my child but there's I'm learning to break those conditions down you speak about I know we spoke about the cross dressing and stuff like that you says it was happy dressing but was that again happy dress was that again escapism was that you're escaping with your true self to be some another character I guess was that I guess it's uh it's like I don't it's funny I had this conversation with Nicola the other just the other day I don't have the desire to do that if I want to I'm not ante it it feels good do it I mean it's like um always been open minded in that respect I don't look I'm not don't look the best looking bird so what's your girl name I don't know me give me one what's his girl name Nic kids on he doesn't know he's probably named me as well him Samantha I don't I don't feel like Samantha is um so as you think because you've been very open as well about sexuality is listen I don't care what you are gray straight green pink I don't I don't care who you are it's not a label you've been very open about experimenting as well with other men was that again try to figure out who you are no was it just a case of have fun try it and see where it goes I don't I don't feel the need to I get it I mean for when are you when you're young you want to you need this is the problem I've had you need to fit in I feel in society and I've never fit in I've always been I've never been exactly ostracised I've been invited into clicks all the time and I tend to not go there people want me in their clicks and I'm like I think actually weirdly that's what kind of one meeper brother because people saw that they started to form clicks in a in a small community and um you I was like always trying to be the consummate diplomat always try to fit in um become something young art to fit in rather people to get acceptance I have done that I have done that but not now that's one thing I have done that I I wanted to be a fighter to be tough to protect sorry yes to to protect people and to to be the the champion the good guy the man and um did it is that wanting to fit in you yeah I mean I funny I didn't really fit in with the fighters because I'm not a fighter I mean even now I've had ever I always say 300 fighters it's at least that it's it's more than 200 kickboxing you were properly respected in the fight game I think people forget that you were properly respected I know someone arranged a fight there was a big fight massive fight but somebody pulled out and you were already sitting in the crowd couple of champagne that was stupid couple of bottles of champagne deep and you stood up to the plate drunk that was stupid that was ridiculous I should not have done that I that's that was the stupidity of me that I didn't take the and get that was actually trying to fit in in some respect do you know why I did that so in some respect I did I want to be macho look at me I'm bloody tough bloody hard as nails listen I'm a paratroop paratroop I'm scared of heights I don't like being cold I don't like being shot with that why did you join the paras don't want to jump out of a pair of planes shut my eyes why did you join the paras to be double hard to be a double hard bastard to be a double hard bastard um image it's acceptance look at me if for me if if if I could prove that I'm tough um and I didn't really fit in there if I could prove I'm tough then I'd be accepted people leave me alone might makes right did that work and not at a time not at a time not physical but you see me as if you've been bullied a lot yeah mentally I've learnt I've learnt all of my pain and experiences have have showed me that I am enough and it's accepting that even though there's parts of me I still haven't accepted and and not entirely comfortable with but it's I'm 45 um I like to think I'm I'm I've pasted the peak and I'm on the way down to a fully happiness full happiness of like accepting myself I'd love to be in a complete peaceful harmonious being at the theatre anything I do I've been exercising I do I do Hachikung have you heard of that no it's basically chai chi on steroids okay it's it's bit like yoga breathe if pranic breath do lots of yoga and it's not so much the bending and twisting yoga is more than just bending and twisting it's the whole spiritual side you you really deep connect pineal gland when you open up you do breathing chanting meditation you almost only turn up different dimensions and it's like and you've seen a lord of the rings putting on the ring and you go into you could do a line of coke and put on the ring you know the ring the ring no we're talking but you can do you can get all these natural these chemicals naturally if you learn how to harness them see this is why I don't drink coffee, alcohol, take drugs I believe you can get to a higher state from meditation and breathing techniques I asked you a question about how many your podcasts you're kicking it yeah you've been number one soon and you're you're you're confident and I said what's your secret what's the what's the method clean loving I believe in myself I've cut out all the negatives for me personally but clean livings that's that's so very I'm the cleanest person in the world I'm really pure I'm happy but what's the actual this is an addiction minerals this is an addiction you love it yeah I'm addicted to becoming the biggest and the best that's what I mean this is an addiction now I get it yeah this is why we're the constant on the move getting guests I've cut out I was like an octopus it was either drink drugs sex gambling I was all over the place cut all them out find my lane done something that I love no there was a time I loved taking drugs there was a time I loved gambling but it just became a mess after a certain while you burn all your bridges with everyone you become a compulsive liar I cut all that shit out I found my lane I make documentaries I'm creating one of the biggest podcasts in the UK there's no way Abba could be doing this if I was still doing that other stuff you're creating one of the you're creating one of Henry Ward that place I don't know what it says you're you said I'm creating one of the biggest podcast I'm creating that biggest podcast yes already believe I'm number one but work is if I'm number two and again that's my you work as if you're number two because there's always somebody behind you try to take over so do you know I've grown up on fighting and my the people who got me into boxing were Nigel Ben and Chris Eubank two agents probably a little bit just before your time just probably a little bit younger because you're 10 years younger but Nigel Chris Eubank he was like he never felt he was good enough that's what drove him and I said earlier on just just different motivation inspirational factors which can drive people and I I can get that so you always felt like your number two he he felt the same way which would drove him because you can get to the point where you're the champ and you're on top of the world and you lose your hunger that's what happened to me when we're fighting you look at Conor McGregor you look at Tyson Fury at this time I always use Tyson Fury he won all the belts won all the money and then back into his darkest times of his life do you know what I mean because you you create a foundation line for yourself that you may have wanted to be world champion have all the fame you got that you realised wait a minute I'm still insecure I'm still I miss you oh man my it's like I said the the whole fallout of celebrity what it does to you I mean it's it's taken a few lives it's taken um that Mike Flassis last year what do you think? it's a shame man the guy from the guy from from Love Island the presenter yes and then beautiful girl as well yeah yeah um do you think if you'd never done experience to building me a younger you could have potentially took your own life gone through all the trauma from the papers what they were saying about you you kind of understood it a bit more do you think I could have not be here yeah if you never experienced it when you were younger because of the pain and trauma that you've got now never thought of that I've actually that's an interesting very interesting question I need to ponder on that I wonder I have to wonder how why am I still here I think about the what Mike when people what he went for a Nicola McElis and you've had much worse than that I'm not I'm not thanks Nicola great I'm you know you've got to take your hat off how you're still here and I get people every day literally every day message me for support which makes me feel a bit like a champion for these people who have been bullied people with revenge porn people with being trolled which is the most orinical thing when I've got I'm being trolled by someone who's creating an anti-trolling charity with Harvey's Law they long story short they give me strength actually maybe all this pain and suffering is is being good because if I can help these people and I do it's it's really weird you can often help someone else a lot better than you can help yourself million percent you're like and you're like I can do it for them why can't I do it for me and I you'd end up talking to yourself I won't read if you did it for them people come to me for advice and I'm like why not come to me for advice and it just comes out naturally I'm like oh I do no stuff yeah of course you do you see people because you've still kicked on people get depressed and don't leave the house do you know what I mean so what happens is all this shit that we've been through in the past I've got to thank my addictions as well because then what you're doing now what you're talking about how you're talking it's interesting I'm fine it's fascinating yeah and everybody else will watch this so people now I can you sometimes you've got to go to the darkest places to find your light I believe I've been to hell not just once but many occasions including yourself you're clearly still fighting you clearly still want to be here so we've clearly got more to give life I always say it if you've got air in your lungs you have got something to give but I'll try to figure it out what is a podcast and I've got so much to give this is why and I've got people who love me and that's the thing that keeps me going when I feel I mean I think like I said I have therapy every week because I had silly I've had horrible silly thoughts to do PTSD yeah yeah yeah it's not I've not yeah yeah I don't talk about it but yeah yeah and it's yeah I have I used the pain to create as an actor it's brilliant because I'm an actor it's great give me the pain because you've got raw minerals and emotions to call upon to be able to channel but it's not great when you're not acting do you think you don't get jobs because of your past who you're involved with a million percent do you think so I don't think I know I don't think I know which is why I started taking action against her in 2017 and it's taken three years four years four years of extreme abuse stole four years why stole though to that day just because and it's like because I was like the the scapegoat I don't want any association with that woman I don't think you'll ever stop though like you're always going to be associated somewhere down there it will it will but in there it will be like a distance and I see it I know you don't think but I know because I know what's coming and that gives me some some peace it's been hard to focus on the law of attraction the visualization because that's what got me everything I got I've got I've cheated a lot and I've also achieved drawn into my life a lot of crap and I know why I'm not my life has got a complete mix as we speak of absolute misery and pain and suffering there's one thing I can't really go into which I you might be able to draw what I'm talking about and I could talk about that in a second that the other one is my mother's is suffering about Simon's and it sets it's you you have to learn and having starting to lose people like yourself recently we lose people around us you start making you think about life and mum's like are you Alexander I'm like yes mum it's it's painful and you see people around you change and the other thing the other thing that is very sad which I can't talk about but you can draw your own conclusions I have become extremely adept at parental alienation and because of that I have formed my own association foundation the Bob Reed Foundation who's Bob Reed Bob Reed was my dad and again I can't tell you all about that either um a loving caring dad grandfather and absolute peace and his number one quality by anything went before he died and said what's what's the best thing you could do I could have kindness thought about kindness and compassion so we help people all the pain and suffering that I've had I now help people predominantly fathers is probably about 90% fathers to mothers but mothers fathers grandfathers grandmothers who don't get to see their their children and it makes me feel good and it's this the country is in such someone like the world there's some kind yeah so it's so fucked up that the the injustice and it's backwards and it's a money making scheme of course that was the and I'm fighting and and I have an army for transparency as you said I can't even talk about what's really going on because there's high court reporting restrictions how many restrictions do you have on you boards no not mega not mega there's two big ones one with lovely old ex-wife and one with one there's not there's not even that bad I mean listen I mean I'm what's she gonna do sue me but I don't really want to talk about it to tell the truth try to be I for so many years the whole reason why I I decided to take a stance against Katie Price was because I just had my head down that's the person I'm head down keep moving forward forget about that crap it didn't work out sorry okay but it just kept coming back again and again you still have a high profile name though cancer it's proper cancer never gonna get away from it I need to cut the cancer out and eradicate it but how do you do that then well stop reading the papers I can't because it's irresponsible I think about that I mean you know about RAS the Ricticular Activating System if I mention a red Ferrari you'll probably start seeing because just in your mind yeah and it's the same sort of thing I mean fortunately but I say out of mange here but I have to also I mean two minds I don't I mean I'm still in legal proceedings with okay um and this lies there's a liar absolute liar and I don't mind saying that a sociopath and I can prove it and long story short at some point you have to best take a stance just to stop being abused and offended now at the same time not offended abused and effectual business so I'm like and we'll have a joke and laugh people about Alex Reed and stuff and I'm like it's very funny and I'm like I can have I'm an expatriate but I mean there's nothing sacred you can say any joke you want but when it's stopping you put food on the table that's when you're like hmm that's not cool I'm not getting the parts I want you know I'm starting to in actually last year I worked seven times two films two plays a pantomine a sitcom was it Vint Diesel who told you to get into acting oh but I mean done your homework yeah fucking right that was the best in the game on the set of I was Tom Hanks his body double yeah that's right and Tom Hanks did more press-ups than you you remember you that's well he beat me yeah he was yeah bugger but I enjoy acting what is it you enjoy about acting are you getting away from it's so cathartic when you get to I have to understand the emotions of someone what they're going through and you have to really get into them you start to understand yourself and then you really understand what you've hidden what why are you doing these behaviours why am I why do I want to go and get high do I really want to go and get high is that going to make me feel what do I really want at this point you know why do I want to go and fight this guy why do I want to do anything why do I want to get up in the morning how much drugs did you used to take um it was just mainly cocaine um weed a bit a bit and I've tried I've done the the a thunsome LSD um I would call it a memory of a medicine now but then I did I did DMT what did you think of DMT um smoking a crack pipe 15 15 20 years ago yeah so that's before it became westernised yeah and I did it mixed it with cocaine as a junkie it's not clever it's not clever your head's fucked I mean it was it was great I saw different things and I've done also done the acacia ceremony kebab adan ayawaskar that okay so acacia is Egyptian ayawaskar okay um yeah it's pretty funky what did you see have you seen 300 yeah you know when the the the the spirits the spirits the the the the sages they give the late the girls the the priestesses the drink that's acacia it's um yeah all these plant medicines go back hundreds of thousands of years I'm still unsure though I'm still unsure it's a weird experience I'm still unsure but to keep I don't trust anyone they kept telling me to surrender rather than surrender completely I know your feeling when I spoke changa which is it produces people who don't understand I'm sure people who are watching this and your your guys will know about this because they know about you but um DMT dimethyl tryptileon we all produce it naturally it's in our penal gland and we actually have synapses is which run back from our third eye right back to our brain into our to allow you to see so when you perceive instinct perception shut your eyes that's your penal gland working because you know I'm sure you know all this yeah yeah yeah so the long story is short um the certain substances you can take um ayawaskar acacia changa there's a lot of mushrooms they produce you can produce this naturally which is what I've been doing with my qikung with my breathing learning how to I'm big into cossack training Russian martial arts is Starmagh and the Spetsnaats they do that they go into a dark cave you know for or just in the darkness and you start producing after about four days DMT yeah DMT and you can see stuff seven days that's where they go that's where they say the seat the soul is which is connected to the pine neogland that's where you get your higher connection your higher powers we've all got a gut feeling we've all got intuition but what happens is I've heard you speak about it before fluoride which is in your water which is in your toothpaste is it in this which kills the pine neogland probably could be the plastic yeah it's it's tricky because what do we do this is what I talk about drugs drugs are everywhere yeah how do we stop them yeah but that's why a lot of people seem to be going more plant plant based now it's in I'm a flex you flex it flexitarian just wherever you want check in you say that listen I mean I eat a bit of meat I've cut right down we know that we know that we do know that are you being are you being saucy yeah yeah yeah I have to get an ear Sammy's coming out to play so man for yeah not on the right thing yeah you want to play me you want to play you want to play me you want to play me you want to play me hahahahaha so we're in prison yeah is a we're in prison yeah yeah what are we talking about now we're in prison okay you're gonna be my mummy there's a so how could you go right down you can go right down the rabbit hole whoa that's shit ddedigon i'r meddwl? Rydyn ni ddim yn sicr meddwl, rydyn ni wedi cael mwyn o'r pryd yn iawn. Ddych wedi byd yn sicr meddwl, rydyn ni'n meddwl Jane Am, gyda'r eidliar yna. Rwy'n ei gyllid â'r peth yn y diolch, ond mae'r brif iawn yn ei gydwedd yn ei bal. Felly rydyn ni ddim yn sicr meddwl i'r byd... ond ddim yn sgwrdd i'r byd. Oeddd yn ddïn roi yn ddysgol, mae'r rydyn ni yn ystod awdurdig i'r byd. Rydyn ni'n ddim. Hei, ben. involved stop analysis paralysis Go a ffuck up West allowance about I mean ultimately doesn't to me I get I kind of get whatEdge and Kerry says it doesn't matter It Doesn't matter a paper innama is crazy no is a bit crazy normal sloppyозможно. No rwy'n ai'r cas. Rwy'n cheif. Mae ei symud gyda'r bobl yn ddim yn gweithio. Rwy'n ai'n deillant. Rwy'n ddim yn rhoi'r bobl yn dangos. Rwy'n cilswch. Nid oedd rwy'n gwybod nhw'n ei wneud y gallanLe. Rwy'n ceisio'n ymwyaf? Nod ne. Nid oed yn deilluno arall? Rwy'n neud yn roi'r bobl yn gallu. ac yn gallu gyd wedi amwys i dneud eich gwirio a'r swymyn yn ymddangos. Felly mae'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio. Yn y gallwn i, rydyn ni wedi yn gwneud i gweithio cerdd yr oed yn gweithio'r cyllidolol. Mae'n gweithio'n gyffredinol, mae'n gweithio'n cyllidol i cerddorol ac yn ddrws. Mae'n gweithio i'r cyllidol wedi amlion yn y Cymru. Mae'n gweithio'n cael 15,000. Mae'n gweithio'n cyllidol. yw yw yw yw ddweud hynny yw yw 20 miliwn. Felly, byddwn i gwybod gyda'r mynd i'r ymdraebu, i'r hyn i'r ddeunydd, rydyn ni'n gweithio'r cimbriddol yn gweithio'r meddwl. Rydyn ni'n gweithio'r meddwl byddwch yn cyflawni'r ysgwrt, felly mae'n gweithio'r meddwl llwyddo'r meddwl, ond mae'n gofyn i'r bach. Rydyn ni'n gweithio'r meddwl, gallwch chi'n mi'n ei wneud, gallwch chi'n meddwl, ysgol yw'r amser. Dw i ddim yn ysgol yw'n fawr. Ymweld hynny, dychydig. Rwy'n ddweud o'n 15,000 oedd ym 77 miliwn yn ffibrill yn 3 ymrwnt. Rwy'n ddweud i chi'n ysgol. Rwy'n ddweud i chi'n ddechrau. Rwy'n ddweud, mae'n ddweud o'n 80-20 yrwng. 80% yn yr 80% mwy o 20% yn y nauti. Roedd ystod o'r roi. Rwy'n ddweud o'n 100% o'r roi. Mae'n gweithio'r ffordd yn gyngor. Yn ddechrau'n gwneud, ond o'n gyfnod wedi'u gweld i'r ffaint o'r rhan o'r mhwyf. Mae'n dda i'r ffordd, ac efallai mae'n ddweud i'r ffordd. Mae'n ddechrau a'r ffordd o'n dda i'r ffordd. Yn ddechrau o'r ffordd, mae'n ddechrau'n gwneud. Mae yna bod oedden nhw. Mae'n ddweud o'r ffordd. Mae'n ddweud o'r ffordd o'n gweithio. Mae'n ddweud i'w ddweud. Rhywod digwydd, mae'n gwrdd, fel proysen y canfod. Rhywod digwydd, mae'n siŵr yn ysbyty i'w Cymru, cyntaf o'r Llyfrgell yng ngyffredig. Yn gyffredig yma, mae'n amser, ond rhai'r ffordd yma? Yn ym 1 miliwn perffent. Rwy'n meddwl ffordd. Rwy'n meddwl i'w meddwl, ac mae'n meddwl i'w meddwl. Rwy'n meddwl i'w meddwl i'w meddwl i'w meddwl i'w meddwl i'w meddwl i'w meddwl.이 am, I'll just walk out. Do you know what I'm right, I'm going to do this? Just take yourself away from the situation a I made him a cup of tea. Would you like cup of tea? What in there again. And then walked out and that I didn't even remember doing this. The only reason I remember this happening was because boy George was a fan and he said how brilliant Alex Reeden, how English he was. If you're English. James English? James. James. ac hefyd yn ateb i gael, a rwyf wedi typon ni, beth rwyf wedi activu, rwyf wedi chi'n gweithio i mi, ac rydych chi'n gweithio, gwleddio mewn, iddyn nhw'n os Spectrell yw gweithio'r gael. Rwy'n rhoi, roedd rwy'n rhoi, a'r cyfrydd ploedd yn gwneud hynny, fel wedi'u cael eiきin. Roedd eisiau wneud fan ein gofanc. Roedd oedd mae ei wneud fel ein gofanc, bydd hynny'n cwrwch a'r wneud wedi cael y gwaith yn dweud amlu. ac rwy'n bod yn lle'r rhyngwyll sy'n bra紹 Ond yna mynd i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'r ddwydo wneud Rwy'n meddwl i ymbyrch am gim traddurog a hynny'n meddwl i beth yma Mae'r meddwl i'r meddwl i'r Meddl. Felly dyma'r meddwl i ddweud Oni'n meddwl i ddim wedi bod tynnu? Cyfnodd! Nid. It was like a cool LSD. I mean for those who've never done LSD, it's like being... ...on a different wavelength. It's a different dimension. You don't know what planet you're on, I was like... ...what's going on? I was everywhere. I mean I'd always done a bit of celebrity stuff, I was just doing a TV show literally just before I met Katie Price and... ...I'd done soaps. I'd Holly Oaks and I'd done films and... A meddwl i wir i... ..y hoffa cyfnod o'r rai sgolion a bachwch a gydag yma, a fyddai unrhyw fel y fawr, mae'n gwneud o'r cyllid yn fawr i ychydig, ac oherwydd, rydyn mor 300 ar gyfwyr. Yma, rydyn ni wedi gydag yn ymwes ar gyfer, rydyn ni wedi gydag am fwy ffwyr i weithio. Rydyn ni wedi gydag am 300 yr hoffa, dus yw ar gyfer y peth! A i wneud! Roedd wedi gydag? The different person. I think about, I remember seeing, I'm sure you might have seen the thing with Mike Tyson where he's got his belts at several years ago, what do these mean, nothing? I mean nothing, it's like the words are so solid about, and he's throwing them, nothing to me. a ble ei drwyddi'ch gynnydd o'r ffordd. Mae'n ddweud, mae'n ymddi'ch mwyf. Yr rhai, mae'n ddweud, mae'n ddweud, a'n ffordd, mae'n ddweud. Mae'n ddweud, mae'n ddweud. Mae'n ddweud. Mae'n ddweud, tyfnwyr. Mae'n ddweud, mae'n ddweud, a dyfodd. Rydyn ni'n gofio ddweud, mae'n gofio, mae'n gofio i'r bwysig. Llywodraeth, mae'n gofio. Diolch i gydus wahanol, ac yn gallu y meddwl iawn. Mae'n meddwl. Nid oherwydd, yn meddwl am gondolion gwahanol, yn meddwl am gondolion gwahanol, ac wedyn iddo yn addysgu. Ebayr ocnittorydd, yn fervi sy'n trwy dwych, sy'n meddwl am gyhoedd chi. Pan y meddwl cysylltu gwahanol, mae wedi bod i'r bodi cyllid. Dgweinwch Daniel Chormier. Felly, rwy'n gwneud y Llaidwyr 6 yma ar y rai, unrhyw lleol lleol a'r Llaidwyr 4 i 4. Yn ni'n gweithio'r technolig yw gyda'r hwn. Felly, mae'r Cymru'r MacGregor. Felly, mae'r Llaidwyr yn llaidwyr. Mae'r Llaidwyr yma yn y gweithio. Fythio fynd i'r Llaidwyr a'r Llaidwyr a'r Llaidwyr. Fythio'r Llaidwyr, wae, mae'n ddangos, byddwn i'n gwneud eich bod ni'n i gweithio'r ymlaidwyr, Cyngor, Tyfanc, ydych yn meddwl. Mae'n gweithio ar y cwm yw yn cyngor. Mae'r daith yn y bobl, mae'n ddiddor i'r tyfaniaeth, ond mae'n ffordd o'r ffordd i'r gobl. Gweithio'r stori'r stori'r stori'r stori'r stori? Mae'n gweithio ar y ffordd i'r gweithio ar y 2016, dyma'r gweithio ar y ffordd i'r gweithio, a'r cyfnodd yn ymddiol iawn, ac mae'n ddod gan hyllaf o'r gweithio. Mae'n gweithio, I had credibility. I was the man. I had thousands of fans. I wanted to recapture some of that. My ego wanted that. Also, my self-worth wanted to say, The three fights I had before, I won one and I lost two. I'd be anultimate. I think I won them all. I didn't care. I didn't care. But this fight I actually wanted to go out and remind people. So I did a deal with the sun and I really trained really hard. My whole emphasis was, I was properly training before I wasn't training. I'd just been doing cocaine. And then I'd come off the cocaine and I thought, I can't do cocaine. I've got to start training. But I didn't even train. For this one I was properly up for it. And I did this deal with the sun to, look, from Ragsd Richers, he's been on his ass. He was here and now he's gone down. Now he's going to come back up again. And they wrote a story and they said, look, it's going to be bad. We're going to build up over the two months and build you up like a story every week. And I said, the first one's going to be bad and then it's going to get better. All right. OK. So the first story I was talking about is only famous because of Katie Price. What? What? Hang on. Hang on. What did you do? And then they just basically stitched me up the whole way through. Man, I was mentally destroyed before I even got into that cage. Because the whole reason why you fight isn't just to prove it. There's so much more to your spirit. Literally your spirit. If your spirit's gone, how are you supposed to fight? You've got someone, two equal fighters, right? You've got one fighter who's trained, young, fit, strong, got all the techniques. You've got one fighter who's not as trained, but got more spirit and drive. You know, often, the guy with the most spirit, you know, you can overcome. But if you haven't got any spirit, I'd like spirit. Has it totally walled you down then, all the press and all the fame that came with it? Because yous were the power couple of, the news were the ones, the most famous at one stage. Does that eventually weld you down? Was that eventually just fucking eat a weight your soul then? No, I loved it. I was on the high. It was like the high of the cocaine. It really was. That's how I associate it. It was like, wow, look at this. I mean, I wasn't actually doing the drugs, but I mean, that was a drug. This is why I talk about cocaine as a light drug compared to that. Fame is like, wow. And I see so many people still addicted to it. And it's like, I wouldn't mind a line of fame if you know it again. Do you mess up? A line of fame. Do you mess up? The attention, everybody's shouting on the end. Sometimes. Sometimes. Even in order to add these, it put you in. I still get that. You remember, it's nice to actually go out and not get stopped every 30 seconds. Literally. Just everywhere. And I still get that, but it's nice now. It's not for nastiness stuff. Now people are like, because you can't, there's been so much bad press over me. When there's bad press, I'll get bad people saying horrible things on the street. That's not nice. But people now remember me for good stuff, which is lovely. Because it's like, you can't fake the world continually 24x7. And people are saying all the stuff I'm doing now, I'm a good guy. They're saying all the good stuff. And they're like, he's actually all right. But you're all right, I guess. No, but you're clearly all right with your one big brother. Because you've got some big fucking names. Cheeky fuck. Do you know what I mean? But I do see vulnerability. And like I say, you're constantly searching. We're trying to get acceptance aren't we? We're trying to be light because it makes us feel... It's as if we weren't light as kids. So we're always trying to work on us to make people like us. When you say you were self-harming, were you cutting your wrists? No. When I was self-harming, I mean, I was taking cage fights about training. That was self-harming. Because that's not responsible. I mean, like if you're a killer crush of Smith and you just knocked out 20 people and I'm just... I've gone for a jog. That's all my only training. It's not really... What's your day-to-day routine like then? Do you sleep much at night? Yeah, I sleep good. I put on, going back to the Penal gland, music. Which by Neural Beats and Different Chants and music which outers me into a deep... enters me into my deep parasymphtetic nervous system. So I really try and heal and relax, go connect your Penal gland and go off in different places all over the universe. Dimensions? Yeah. People watch this and think they're fucking crazy about it. Are we crazy? Everybody's crazy. And yes, we are. Are we crazy? Yeah. Because you talk like this. You say this. I just, before we started, I said people's attention to what we're sort of talking about. In fact, to anything these days is very limited because their Penal glands have calcified their perception. And we've been completely dumbed down. Forget about fluoride in the water and all the other chemicals. Skilling? Skilling, all of that with the whole world has been designed. And I've said this many times. And I literally just heard David Ike. I shouldn't mention his name, should I? Yeah, no, he's fine. David Ike's been on the show. There is why I shouldn't mention his name is because you can get down. Diolch yn fawr. Yeah. I listen, it's like he's... I followed some of his stuff, but I didn't follow this. And he's saying the same stuff as I've come to my own analogy from all of my own research. There are, I believe, I know, benevolent and malevolent entities around us which are controlling us. We can't see them. Just because we can't see them doesn't mean they're not there. There's so many fields of vision. David Ike, Willie, just said the same thing. I mentioned this in a different podcast the other day. And I was like, you go somewhere and you can just feel an energy. You can almost cut the tension in the room of a knife. There's energies which are manipulating and controlling us. Intelligent as well. What do you think the humans are? What do you think we are? In what respect? Like avatars, or do you think we are just aliens ourselves? Or do you think... We're a whole mishmash of many different... There's many different intelligent life forms and species across the galaxy universe who are interested in us. And I think we're completing that mishmash of many different life forms. You think we're really guinea pigs? Yeah. You've got to look at the technology now, which we are creating human beings, that through what's the things you put on your head then you can see virtual reality. Who says this, isn't it? Yeah, I know that theory. And it's like AI. You know about AI? I must. I mean, we're 10, 20 years away from having a chip where I can instantly talk Chinese or like in the matrix. I now know kung fu. We will have apparently a... I don't know if the prediction is 2050. Every five seconds, the equivalent of a Nobel Peace Prize. Every five seconds. What happens then? We'll all become one, we'll be like Borg, you know, literally, everyone will know everything at this one point. We'll be able to teleport. All we are is we're not... I'm a... Iron, selections, atoms, neutrons, all vibrating at a certain frequency. More to me than just that. But on a physical level, I'm the same as this. And I'm moving. The different thing I think, and I've said this time and time again, that makes me different from the table, is my soul, my spirit. And I don't know what you know about the eight gram theory. Yeah, 21. 21. 21 grams. Is it 21 grams? Yeah, when you die, the body goes 21 grams later. It's 21, I thought it was eight. And what is that 21 grams? So they did an experiment on people who were dying, and then as soon as they took their last breath, the body went 21 grams lighter. So they say that's the soul. Apparently it can be DMT, whatever the pineal glands releasing, but yeah, I think... I don't know. Again, we can constantly search. But what the fuck we're searching for? What makes you just actually... Well, I'm fascinated. This is why I've done things like DMT. I mean, as a kid... Why did you do all that? As a kid, for five years old, being bullied, for asking questions. Cos I've always asked questions, why? Why have we got a son? Why do we have to die? Why do we have to do this? And answering questions. Do you believe in reincarnation? Million percent. Million percent. I was studying it for many years at the Kabbalah centre, but I've got so many holes. Billion percent. Have you read many of these, many masters? No. That's powerful. Many lives, many masters. Yeah, very powerful. What do you think about reincarnation? I believe we come back. I believe everything's connected. Where do we go? I don't know. I just don't know. But I definitely believe... I was in hell. I was in hell. Why would you do that? Is there any positives to it? As human beings, we are experimental creatures. We're always experimenting with hunters, aren't we? We're looking for answers. We just know something's not quite right. In your gut, you just feel as if we're getting fed lies. Something's not just right. Something's wrong with the world. So we experiment, I experimented through recreational drugs. Cocaine, ecstasy, weed, valium, alcohol. I was gambling, sex. But I always felt wrong. The ayahuasca, I took it. It made sense at the time, but I'm still unsure. I didn't get any massive revelations when I did the facial. I've done changa a few times. I was making a TV show about all of this. It's still coming out a bit like yourself. When I did changa, I did a hippy rave in the new forest. I had probably 100 people watching me. So I was conscious of that. I was thinking, that was going through my head. I'm smoking this. On TV, I teach children martial arts. This looks terrible. It looks like I'm smoking alcohol drugs. Well, it is. It's medicine. It's different. But then again, as plant medicine you can get, you can cocaine and heroin for some plants. That's tough to tell me. I've mixed that with bleach and petrol and fucking rat poison. But there's so many plants on the world. We just don't know, do we? I believe, but they can... It's all about perception and propaganda and marketing. Because one, cocaine is still used in medicine today. So it's heroin. Listen, I'm not big on drugs, but listen, if you're going to cut me open and take my leg off and tell me or something, then I probably might like a little bit of something to... I'm not totally anti drugs. Give me some more of it. So going through all your life, how do you feel now speaking about it? Does it bring back a lot of emotions? Just talking about your story there. Would you feel tired or drained after this? No, you're just used to... Early on I got very animated when we were talking about the abuse I've suffered and the injustice. I've had five different police forces involved. They've utterly failed. CPS, criminal prosecution service, I've even admitted they've failed. I should probably go after them. I have a right to appeal, I think I will. Because it's disgusting. How can someone get away with that? Intentionally trying to... Anyway, I answered your question. How does your other half know, deal with all the stuff? Well, let's talk about that then. We've gone over the past. Let's talk about the future. There's some really good stuff going on. I've always been into my health and fitness. I'm into longevity. Balance is sometimes doing something that's not so bad for you. Not necessarily good for you, sorry. It's already all been healthy the whole time, but sometimes it's good to go and have a beer. Maybe not for everybody. Eat a bit of chocolate cake. Have some fish and chips. With the health and fitness, I run boot camps. I actually love. Do you know why? It's because I'm like I'm performing. I'm having to raise people's vibrations and get them motivated. And I like that. And it's fine. It's like I get to heal people in a weird way. And it's fun. I run in my boot camps. My plan is to take over London. But my ultimate love and my still love is acting. And I am still acting. I've just got something very, very good. What kind of parts do you try and look for? Gangster, feeder? No. Transvestite? No. No, would you not do that if it popped up? No. Because I know you laugh and it's funny. Yeah, of course. We've got to laugh. But it's not funny to me. The reason why? I don't take offence to me because the pain is caused. Is it still there, the trauma? It's not the trauma of me doing it. It's the trauma that's been created. It's not the past. It's the trauma that's been created by me being denigrated. And having... I'm not even considering myself a transvestite. I've done not even... I guess if I've worn women's clothes and enjoyed it in hands up, I don't want to be a woman. I'm a man. I'm an actor. I guess that makes you could say define yourself. I was on a TV show. I was on Channel 4 News. And I was talking about the Jeremy Kyle show. Someone just committed suicide. And I was talking about how it could... They asked, do you think it should be banned? Or do you think it could come back? I said, well actually, it has the ability to... If they could make it like that. What was that lesbian lady in America? Oh, Ellen. It was a show like that. It would be brilliant. And what I just said, that lesbian lady. My PR guy said, Alex, why did you say that? We can't use that now. Because I defined that person as the lesbian lady. Even I was doing... I was just thinking about... Because there's also been two PC. I can have a laugh about wearing a dress and all that sort of stuff. But for me, when you're completely defined as that and nothing else, it's like, well that's not right. It's stopping me feeding. So if I keep making fun of you about something, I can have a laugh. But I'm like... Because I get tired? I've just said, OK. I understand people, you can have your laugh. But I'm like, OK, yeah. Has it tried to get away from it? Break it? Break the habit? It's not even a habit for me. But I have to accept that's what people's... And it'll just be better. It'll just be better. And I am. Listen, I'll do a gangster role. In fact, I just did... No, the last two I did was... The film I did last year... I did two plays. One was about freedom of speech, freedom of rights, civil liberties, a true story. The one was an American, I played an American. And that was... I play Mummy Die. Big show. And then I did a film where I was a Nazi... ...henchman for a modern-day Nazi society. A society where they've done experiments. This is true. They've done experiments on... ...Siamese twins and people to try and get them to do telepathy. If you were to pick any part in the world, what part would you pick? I like... Christopher Walken. Do you know him? I like the sort of films. Weird talk. I kind of like that. And the next role I've got... ...is a dream come true. How's that? Excited for the future? Good. Life changing. You love attraction, I play the goal set. Plan for the future, the goal set and stuff. Always. I need to do more of this. We all need to do more of this. Write down what you plan on doing. Because it happens. For people watching, if you write it down... ...it becomes clearer in the mind. If it becomes clearer in the mind, it becomes easier to attract. So the goal set is massive. I do affirmations, the goal set every morning. Are you careful what you say? Because we all say negative things. The biggest cheerlead we have is ourselves. Yeah, you speak. It's a book there. It says when you speak, if you lick goswp, it's like black magic. And Dr Amoto... I think they do the rice challenge on... ...it's the YouTube videos. They filter rice jars with rice. Say I love you to one for 30 days. I hate you to one for 30 days. The one that says I love you is still pure white. The one that says I hate you is all black, blue and mouldy. The brain doesn't know what's real or what's fake. Even me having a laugh. I'm always having a laugh. I'm not serious or not. So I'm always at the wind up, nosing people up. So I need to be careful. Tell me, you've done Reiki, yeah? Reiki master? When did you read Sea Oras? Yeah. How you do? I'm a Reiki master. I haven't practiced since I can remember. So I've forgotten more than I can remember. I did Holy Fire, Reiki. My woman called Lorna McLean. Which was intense shit. So it was. Can you see energy now? Yes, energies, frequencies, vibrations. I see Oras. So if that's something that comes into my mind, I can tell where I can feel the presence. So I can. And I know you're trying to read minds just now. People might think, fuck me what they talk about. But people will understand as well. Everybody knows who's in a good mood, bad mood. People can see postures, energies. If somebody sends you a text message. I know if it's an angry one. Or how I can tell by their mood by a text message. Really? Yeah. Obviously if I'm calling you a total bastard. You ask, oh you don't. It's obvious I'm angry. If I said, darling could you bring the tea home? It's pleasant. But how do you know? I might be thinking you're an evil bastard. But when you get home I'm going to kill you. How am I going to kill you? I don't know what it is. I just feel frequencies, vibrations. I believe because my vibrations are high. I believe that I can feel better presence. Feel energies. Feel people who are sad, happy. I can change somebody's mindset in an instant if I speak through them. You can't go about fucking trying to change the world by giving everybody and preaching to everyone. Because then you just come across a fucking psychopath. But if somebody needs help I get countless messages every day from people battling addiction, suicide, homelessness. That's just to try and guide them. But I need to protect myself because it can become tiring. It's very tiring. Do you know what I mean? So, yeah. Where were you born? Glasgow, 84. 1984, when's your birthday? 2nd of February, Aquarius. Do you go on that? What do you think about the new star sign? I think it's all bullshit the new star sign. I don't think it's NASA. I think it's ancient Babylonian. But I don't think it's actually changed. What do you believe in all that? I don't know. Again, paralysis analysis. I'm a rabbit and a crab. A rabbit of Chinese. How does it go? There's a million different ones. So, going through all your life what are your plans for the future? You're acting. Do you see yourself mentally, physically? Well, I did tell you. I've just landed something very big. When can we find out that? Soon? Probably next year. Good. I might be going quiet for a bit. Which is good. Acting. Obviously I still love boot camps. Acting is feast or famine. Where can people get your boot camps? Alex Reid. BCUK.UK. That's boot camp UK.UK. Across the country particularly the south at the moment. Sorry, Scott. It's 10 pounds for 10 sessions. If you go on the app, that's a bargain. And I guarantee you all ex-military people and ex-military people is a good camaraderie, good banter, professional all sorts of fun exercises, all weathers. Check it out. Also more importantly what I'd like to talk about. So my plan is to take over London with the boot camps. Take two sites on a year. I currently have Bushey which is north London and Mill Hill. North London again. So check me out. If you want to follow me on Alex Reid official on Instagram or at Alex Reid on Twitter I can message you and you'll see all my stuff there. I've also formed the Bob Reid Foundation. I talked about this. If you're struggling going through the family courts I've spent hundreds of thousands of pounds. Everything I have. And being on my complete and utter ass suicidal so many times because of what the courts have put me through and other people. And I would just love to have had an association like this before. We can offer free advice and we can offer professional advice. If you need some help check it out www.thebobrithfoundation.com Yeah. For anybody who's struggling they're now looking for advice maybe who's been bullied themselves what advice would you give for them? Talk to someone. Talk to someone. You need to speak about it. You need to have a pressure valve. This is the saddest thing the suicide rate of young men I've lost four friends, very dear friends my age all hung themselves and you wouldn't think they were sad because men put on a brave smile and a brave face especially squatties hey I'm fine it's fine it isn't fine I've got me the whole cross dressing thing it's fine, I was raped not physically but I mean it was absolutely and continually raped for 10 years every time trying to destroy me you need to shout to shout that's why I'm actually now only finally really talking about it I've never really talked about this it's men we are the we don't have a pressure valve because we've got to be men especially when men going through the family courts they're one of the highest suicide rates so many men are dying not being able to afford the horrible child support agency was it CMS child maintenance service rates I don't want to go too much into it but there's a lot of corruption and it will be exposed and that's sad because we don't want to ultimately people don't care about men dying that's another man dying so what we're desensitized to it but we need to people talk about it people don't care about it until it's someone you know yes definitely the suicide rate has risen 250% since lockdown so people are struggling in the majority of our men so there's definitely some sort of something now that as I miss why so many men are taking them lives but what it is to let's give you some more answers talk, the thing is to find people who you love and who love you and if you don't have those create it and it could be so difficult because when you're in such a depressed state you can't see the wood for the trees so it's about just being imagining even faking it imagining that you can see yourself happy just pretend even and would you like to be happy and when you are miserable I don't want to be fucking miserable where am I going to fuck off but ultimately when you calm down from that well actually it's not good to want to kill yourself this is why I'm having therapy I'm not going to kill myself because I know there are people that love me and I'm loved and I know I'm helping people but I still feel so low that I actually want to take my own life and I'm like this isn't right I'm going crazy, I'm talking to myself I'm fucked up, what's going on and I have these sort of conversations every week with my councillor and I'm like that's not it's not normal but I know that's not normal there's some relief because I've got a pressure valve I've actually acknowledged to seek help I was advised they wanted to put me on drugs I said I'm not taking those thank you very much from my experience from everything I've read on that I don't think that's the way forward not for me I've done my own form of drugs I'm not talking about recreation things like acacia and having shamanic rituals have you done the frog? no, the toe does that they've got a scent here in London somebody keeps telling me to do that I think there's one on Oxford Street let's go down there now a couple of toes basically if you've not done what a frog is it's another one you get a frog the poison of the frog and it gives you a trick first of all brother for recognising that you need help stop the demons in the pain and kind of work on yourself it takes courage and it shows that you are a true fighter so well done and for trying to help other people get out of darkness again takes courage so for everything you've went through it's kind of led you to where you are today and for coming on here today and telling your story it was very much appreciated would you like to finish up on anything? just finish off on that if you're feeling low be nice to someone just smile at someone the best one thing to do there for awareness is meditation even if you're not a big harm meditate just be quiet for like two minutes sit down and just try and just be really quiet let's do it now and listen to everything what can you hear? the fledge exactly and then you can start to hear things outside you can start to hear your indigestion you can hear your intention goes that's a form of meditation focusing just quieting that gives you awareness when you have awareness of everything that's going on in your whole body mind, spirit the more you get it you become aware of even more things you start seeing everything you notice if you're a reiki master you've done ayahuasca we are dumbed down what's one thing we can instantly help ourselves and help other people smile just smile at someone not a fake smile don't mean it just have some affection and love to it you might not feel like it but guess what you put it out it's going to come back and that ultimately is that smile when you're feeling like shit and killing yourself that can make all of the difference just one person just tiny things and I'm so big on that but like I say mate you've came a long way and you're still fighting so it takes courage so fair play and I don't want to fight anymore that's the thing but sometimes we have to it's a life journey on this planet called alexandre at the moment thank you sir