 Why do narcissists change for the next person when you were with the narcissist? They didn't do what you wanted them to do and it may have been small things. They didn't want to help or assist you in any way and it irritated you because they were very disagreeable and unpleasant. They refused to comply, they refused to give you a basic level of politeness. They rejected your proposals and ideas and they discarded you and then they found someone else and suddenly they're doing everything you wanted them to do for this new person. They're cooking, they're cleaning, they're taking care of them. They're doing everything that you asked for, things that they would never do for you but it's not a genuine effort. They don't really care about the new person they're with. They've just learned to be more effective at their manipulation. They've realised that some things cause an issue with you. Some things prevented them from getting the response that they wanted and now they've got an opportunity to start again. So they will use a lot of the things you wanted on this new person because they understand that it caused a lot of issues with the last person they were with. So it's not that this new person is doing something different. It's not that they're better than you. The narcissist just understands that they need to pretend to cooperate with this new person if they want to be more effective. So they're just using things that they've learned from you on other people which is what they were doing before they even met you. They learned things from other people before you which made them more effective at manipulating you. They have no identity of their own. They're just a concoction of people's wants, needs and desires. They're not a genuine individual person. They're just a collection of people's likes and dislikes and they will customise themselves to be whatever they think you want but sometimes they get it wrong and they will try to make adjustments but you end up being in conflict with these different ideas and characters that they have created because at one point they may have assumed that one thing will work for everyone but then they later realised that some people are different. Some people want different things so as they make mistakes they begin to learn more about what people want. It makes them more effective at their manipulation as they come across more and more people and they create more and more characters depending on what each person wants to see. So they will use things that you wanted on other people and they think that it will make them more effective because they've learned something from dealing with you and now they've created a character to assign to someone else who may be similar to you so they're not really treating this new person better. They haven't changed. They're just using things that they've learned from you to manipulate people more efficiently. They've learned what to do and what not to do so that it's more difficult for this new person to figure them out so it's actually even worse for the new person because the narcissist had a lot of practice dealing with you so now they know exactly what they need to do to secure their new unsuspecting target but they're never going to change just because they're with a new person they cannot stop being a narcissist because that is who they are and their disorder is maladaptive so that is not going to change depending on the person they're with but they will want you to think that they can be different with someone else because they want you to think that the abuse and mistreatment that you received was because of something you did when the truth is that abusive people are abusive it's not because of anything you've done so they haven't changed anything about themselves they've just changed the way they interact with people the narcissist hasn't found someone better than you they haven't found someone who is able to control them we cannot control another person's behaviour and we are not responsible for their choices it was their choice to abuse you you are not in control of their choices and you are not responsible for what they did for you although that is what they would like you to think so that they can absorb themselves of any responsibility it may seem like they're treating this new person better but it's not because of anything you did or did not do and it's not because of anything the new person is doing or not doing it's not because they're better than you it's not because they're more deserving no one deserves abuse or mistreatment but you may believe that they have changed because that's what they want you to believe you want to think that they could be better and that is the lie that they've fed you all along they future fate they've fed you a dream about a future where things would be different if you would be patient and hold on a little longer but that was only so they could get what they wanted from you they were never going to treat you right and they're never going to change they're never going to become this amazing person you thought they were thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate our paypal to imy.narchsurvivor you can book up one-on-one with me on my website it's narchsurvivor.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon