 Once upon a time there was an old man and an old woman, and a little boy. One morning the old woman made a Johnny cake and put it in the oven to bake. You watched the Johnny cake while your father and I go out to work in the garden. So the old man and the old woman went out and began to hoe potatoes, and left the little boy to tend the oven. But he didn't watch it all the time, and all of a sudden he heard a noise, and he looked up and the oven door popped open, and out of the oven jumped Johnny cake, and went rolling along end over end towards the open door of the house. The little boy ran to shut the door, but Johnny cake was too quick for him, and rolled through the door down the steps and out into the road long before the little boy could catch him. The little boy ran after him as fast as he could clip it, crying out to his father and mother, who heard the uproar, and threw down their hose and gave chase too. But Johnny cake outran all three a long way, and was soon out of sight, while they had to sit down, all out of breath, on a bank to rest. On went Johnny cake, and by and by he came to two well diggers who looked up from their work and called out, Where are you going Johnny cake? He said, I've outran an old man, an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too. You can can you, we'll see about that, said they, and they threw down their picks and ran after him, but couldn't catch up with him, and soon they had to sit down by the roadside to rest. On ran Johnny cake, and by and by he came to two ditch diggers who were digging a ditch. Where are you going Johnny cake? said they. He said, I've outran an old man, an old woman, and a little boy, and two well diggers, and I can outran you too. You can can you, we'll see about that, said they, and they threw down their spades and ran after him too, but Johnny cake soon outstripped them also, and seeing they could never catch him, they gave up the chase and sat down to rest. On went Johnny cake, and by and by he came to a bear. The bear said, Where are you going Johnny cake? He said, I've outran an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and two well diggers, and two ditch diggers, and I can outran you too. You can can you, growled the bear, we'll see about that, and trotted as fast as his legs would carry him after Johnny cake, who never stopped to look behind him. Before long the bear was left so far behind, that he saw he might as well give up the hunt first as last, so he stretched himself out by the roadside to rest. On went Johnny cake, and by and by he came to a wolf. The wolf said, Where are you going Johnny cake? He said, I've outran an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and two well diggers, and two ditch diggers, and a bear, and I can outran you too. You can can ye, snarled the wolf, we'll see about that. And he set into a gallop after Johnny cake, who went on and on so fast, that the wolf too saw there was no hope of overtaking him, and he too lay down to rest. On went Johnny cake, and by and by he came to a fox, that lay quietly in a corner of the fence. The fox called out in a sharp voice, but without getting up, Where are you going Johnny cake? He said, I've outran an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and two well diggers, and two ditch diggers, a bear, and a wolf, and I can outran you too. The fox said, Can't quite hear you Johnny cake, won't you come a little closer? Turning his head a little to one side. Johnny cake stopped his race for the first time, and went a little closer, and called out in a very loud voice, I've outran an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and two well diggers, and two ditch diggers, and a bear, and a wolf, and I can outran you too. Can't quite hear you, won't you come a little closer? said the fox in a feeble voice, as he stretched out his neck towards Johnny cake, and put one paw behind his ear. Johnny cake came up close, and leaning towards the fox, screamed out, I've outran an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and two well diggers, and two ditch diggers, and a bear, and a wolf, and I can outran you too. You can can you, yopped the fox, and he snapped up the Johnny cake in his sharp teeth in the twinkling of an eye. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings in the public domain. For more information or to find out how you can volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Joy Chan. English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs. Chapter 29 Earl Ma's Daughter One fine summer's day, Earl Ma's daughter went into the castle garden, dancing and tripping along, and as she played and sported, she would stop from time to time to listen to the music of the birds. After a while, as she sat under the shade of a green oak tree, she looked up and spied a sprightly dove sitting high up on one of its branches. She looked up and said, Coo my dove, my dear, come down to me and I will give you a golden cage. I'll take you home and pit you well, as well as any bird of them all. Scarcely had she said these words when the dove flew down from the branch and settled on her shoulder, nestling up against her neck while she smoothed its feathers. Then she took it home to her own room. The day was done and the night came on, and Earl Ma's daughter was thinking of going to sleep when, turning round, she found at her side a handsome young man. She was startled, for the door had been locked for hours. But she was a brave girl, and said, What are you doing here, young man, to come and startle me so? The door was barred these hours ago. However, did you come here? Hush, hush, the young man whispered. I was that cooing dove that you coked from off the tree. But who are you then, she said, quite low, and how came you to be changed into that dear little bird? My name is Florentine, and my mother is a queen, and something more than a queen, for she knows magic and spells, and because I would not do as she wished, she turned me into a dove by day. But at night her spells lose their power and I become a man again. Today I crossed the sea and saw you for the first time, and I was glad to be a bird that I could come near you. Unless you love me, I shall never be happy more. But if I love you, says she, will you not fly away and leave me one of these fine days? Never, never, said the prince, be my wife, and I'll be yours forever. By day a bird, by night a prince. I will always be by your side as a husband, dear. So they were married in secret, and lived happily in the castle, and no one knew that every night coo my dove became Prince Florentine. And every year a little son came to them, as Bonnie as Bonnie could be. But as each son was born, Prince Florentine carried the little thing away on his back over the sea to where the queen his mother lived, and left the little one with her. Seven years passed thus, and then a great trouble came to them, for the Earl Ma wished to marry his daughter to a noble of high degree who came wooing her. Her father pressed her sore, but she said, Father, dear, I do not wish to marry. I can be quite happy with coo my dove here. Then her father got into a mighty rage, and saw a great big earth, and said, Tomorrow, so sure as I live and eat, I'll twist that birdie's neck. And out he stamped from her room. Oh, oh, said coo my dove, it's time that I was away. And so he jumped upon the windowsill, and in a moment was flying away. And he flew and he flew till he was over the deep, deep sea. And yet on he flew till he came to his mother's castle. Now the queen his mother was taking her walk abroad, when she saw the pretty dove flying overhead, and alighting on the castle walls. Here, dancers, come and dance your jigs, she called. And pipers pipe you well, for he is my own Florentine. Come back to me to stay, for he's brought no bonny boy with him this time. No mother, said Florentine. No dancers for me and no minstrels, for my dear wife, the mother of my seven boys, is to be wed tomorrow, and sad's the day for me. What can I do, my son, said the queen, tell me, and it shall be done if my magic has the power to do it. Well then, mother dear, turn the twenty-four dancers and pipers into twenty-four grey herons, and let my seven sons become seven white swans, and let me be a gozork and their leader. Alas, alas, my son, she said, that may not be, my magic reaches not so far, but perhaps my teacher, the spaywife of Ostry, may know better. And away she hurries to the cave of Ostry, and after a while comes out as white as white can be, and muttering over some burning herbs she brought out of the cave. Suddenly, Cuma dove changed into a gozork, and around him flew twenty-four grey herons, and above them flew seven signets. Without a word or a goodbye, off they flew over the deep blue sea, which was tossing and moaning. They flew and they flew, till they swooped down on Earl Ma's castle, just as the wedding party was setting off for the church. First came the men at arms, and then the bridegroom's friends, and then Earl Ma's men, and then the bridegroom, and lastly, pale and beautiful, Earl Ma's daughter herself. They moved down slowly to stately music, till they came past the trees on which the birds were settling. A word from Prince Florentine, the gozork, and they all rose into the air, herons beneath, signets above, and gozork circling above all. The redoneers wondered at the sight when, swoop, the herons were down among them, scattering the men at arms. The swanlets took charge of the bride, while the gozork dashed down and tied the bridegroom to a tree. Then the herons gathered themselves together into one feather bed, and the signets placed their mother upon them, and suddenly they all rose in the air, bearing the bride away with them in safety, towards Prince Florentine's home. Surely a wedding party was never so disturbed in this world. What could the weddingers do? They saw their pretty bride carried away and away, till she and the herons and the swans and the gozork disappeared, and that very day Prince Florentine brought Earl Ma's daughter to the castle of the queen, his mother, who took the spell off him, and they lived happy ever afterwards. End of Chapter 29. Earl Ma's Daughter This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to find out how you can volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Joy Chan. English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs. Chapter 30. Mr. Miyaka Tommy Grimes was sometimes a good boy, and sometimes a bad boy, and when he was a bad boy, he was a very bad boy. Now his mother used to say to him, Tommy Tommy, be a good boy, and don't go out of the street, or else Mr. Miyaka will take you. But still, when he was a bad boy, he would go out of the street, and one day, sure enough, he had scarcely got round the corner when Mr. Miyaka did catch him, and popped him into a bag upside down, and took him off to his house. When Mr. Miyaka got Tommy inside, he pulled him out of the bag and set him down, and felt his arms and legs. You're rather tough, says he, but you all I've got for supper, and you'll not taste bad boiled, but Boryomia forgot the herbs, and it's bitter you'll taste without herbs. Sally, here I say Sally, and he called Mrs. Miyaka. So Mrs. Miyaka came out of another room and said, What do you want, my dear? Oh, here's a little boy for supper, said Mr. Miyaka, and I forgot the herbs. Mind him, will ye, while I go for them. All right, my love, says Mrs. Miyaka, and off he goes. Then Tommy Grimes said to Mrs. Miyaka, Does Mr. Miyaka always have little boys for supper? Mostly, my dear, said Mrs. Miyaka, if little boys are bad enough and get in his way. And don't you have anything else but boy meat? No pudding, asked Tommy. I loves pudding, says Mrs. Miyaka, but it's not often the likes of me gets pudding. Why, my mother is making a pudding this very day, said Tommy Grimes, and I'm sure she'd give you some if I ask her. Shall I run and get some? Now that's a thoughtful boy, said Mrs. Miyaka. Only don't be long and be sure to be back for supper. Off Tommy Pelters, and right glad he was to get off so cheap. And for many a long day, he was as good as good could be, and never went round the corner of the street. But he couldn't always be good, and one day he went round the corner, and as luck would have it, he hadn't scarcely got round it when Mr. Miyaka grabbed him up, popped him in his bag, and took him home. When he got him there, Mr. Miyaka dropped him out, and when he saw him he said, ah, you're the youngster what served me and my Mrs. that shabby trick, leaving us without any supper. Well, you shan't do it again. I'll watch over you myself. Here, get under the sofa, and I'll set on it and watch the pot boil for you. So poor Tommy Grimes had to creep under the sofa, and Mr. Miyaka sat on it and waited for the pot to boil. And they waited, and they waited, but still the pot didn't boil. To that last Mr. Miyaka got tired of waiting, and he said, here, you under there, I'm not going to wait any longer. Put out your leg, and I'll stop you're giving us the slip. So Tommy put out a leg, and Mr. Miyaka got a chopper, and chopped it off, and pops it in the pot. Suddenly he calls out, Sally, my dear, Sally, and nobody answered. So he went into the next room to look out for Mrs. Miyaka, and while he was there, Tommy crept out from under the sofa and ran out of the door, for it was a leg of the sofa that he had put out. So Tommy Grimes ran home, and he never went round the corner again till he was old enough to go alone. End of Chapter 30. Mr. Miyaka This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to find out how you can volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Joy Chan. English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs. Chapter 31. Wittington and His Cat In the reign of the famous King Edward III, there was a little boy called Dick Wittington, whose father and mother died when he was very young. As poor Dick was not old enough to work, he was very badly off. He got but little for his dinner, and sometimes nothing at all for his breakfast. For the people who lived in the village were very poor indeed, and could not spare him much more than the pairings of potatoes, and now and then a hard crust of bread. Now Dick had heard a great many very strange things about the great city called London. For the country people at that time thought that folks in London were all fine gentlemen and ladies, and that they were singing and music there all day long, and that the streets were all paved with gold. One day a large wagon and eight horses, all with bells at their heads, drove through the village while Dick was standing by the signpost. He thought that this wagon must be going to the fine town of London, so he took courage and asked the Wagoner to let him walk with him by the side of the wagon. As soon as the Wagoner heard that poor Dick had no father or mother, and saw by his ragged clothes that he could not be worse off than he was, he told him he might go if he would, so off they sat together. So Dick got safe to London and was in such a hurry to see the fine streets paved all over with gold that he did not even stay to thank the kind Wagoner, but ran off as fast as his legs would carry him through many of the streets thinking every moment to come to those that were paved with gold. For Dick had seen a guinea three times in his own little village and remembered what a deal of money it brought in change, so he thought he had nothing to do but to take up some little bits of the pavement and should then have as much money as he could wish for. Poor Dick ran till he was tired and had quite forgot his friend the Wagoner, but at last finding it grow dark and that every way he turned he saw nothing but dirt instead of gold. He sat down in a dark corner and cried himself to sleep. Little Dick was all night in the streets and next morning, being very hungry, he got up and walked about and asked everybody he met to give him a half penny to keep him from starving, but nobody stayed to answer him and only two or three gave him a half penny so that the poor boy was soon quite weak and faint for the want of victorals. In this distress he asked charity of several people and one of them said crossily, go to work for an idle rogue. That I will, says Dick, I will to go work for you if you will let me, but the man only cursed at him and went on. At last a good-natured looking gentleman saw how hungry he looked. Why don't you go to work, my lad, said he to Dick. That I would, but I do not know how to get any answered, Dick. If you are willing, come along with me, said the gentleman, and took him to a hay-field where Dick worked briskly and lived merrily till the hay was made. After this he found himself as badly off as before and being almost starved again he laid himself down at the door of Mr. Fitzwarren, a rich merchant. Here he was soon seen by the cookmaid who was an ill-tempered creature and happened just then to be very busy dressing dinner for her master and mistress. So she called out to poor Dick. What business have you there, you lazy rogue? There is nothing else but beggars. If you do not take yourself away we will see how you will like a sowsing of some dishwater. I have some here hot enough to make you jump. Just at that time Mr. Fitzwarren himself came home to dinner and when he saw a dirty ragged boy lying at the door he said to him, Why do you lie there, my boy? You seem old enough to work. I am afraid you are inclined to be lazy. No indeed, sir, said Dick to him. That is not the case, for I would work with all my heart, but I do not know anybody and I believe I am very sick for the want of food. Poor fellow, get up. Let me see what ails you. Dick now tried to rise, but was obliged to lie down again, being too weak to stand, for he had not eaten any food for three days and was no longer able to run about and beg a half-penny of people in the street. So the kind merchant ordered him to be taken into the house and have a good dinner given him and be kept to do what work he was able to do for the cook. Little Dick would have lived very happy in this good family if it had not been for the ill-natured cook. She used to say, You are under me, so look sharp, clean the spit and the dripping pan, make the fires, wind up the jack, and do all the scullery work nimbly, and she would shake the ladle at him. Besides, she was so fond of basting that when she had no meat to baste, she would baste poor Dick's head and shoulders with a broom or anything else that happened to fall in her way. At last her ill-usage of him was told to Alice, Mr. Fitzforum's daughter, who told the cook she should be turned away if she did not treat him kinder. The behaviour of the cook was now a little better, but besides this, Dick had another hardship to get over. His bed stood in a garret where there were so many holes in the floor and the walls that every night he was tormented with rats and mice. A gentleman having given Dick a penny for cleaning his shoes, he thought he would buy a cat with it. The next day he saw a girl with a cat and asked her, Will you let me have that cat for a penny? The girl said, Yes, that I will, master, though she is an excellent mouser. Dick hid his cat in the garret and always took care to carry a part of his dinner to her, and in a short time he had no more trouble with the rats and mice, but slept quite sound every night. Soon after this his master had a ship ready to sail, and as it was the custom that all his servants should have some chance for good fortune as well as himself, he called them all into the parlour and asked them what they would send out. They all had something that they were willing to venture except poor Dick, who had neither money nor goods, and therefore could send nothing. For this reason he did not come into the parlour with the rest, but Miss Alice guessed what was the matter and ordered him to be called in. She then said, I will lay down some money for him from my own purse, but her father told her this will not do for it must be something of his own. When poor Dick heard this he said, I have nothing but a cat which I bought for a penny some time since of a little girl. Fetch your cat, then, my lad, said Mr. Fitzwarren, and let her go. Dick went upstairs and brought down poor Puss with tears in his eyes and gave her to the captain. For, he said, I shall now be kept awake all night by the rats and mice. All the company laughed at Dick's odd venture and Miss Alice, who felt pity for him, gave him some money to buy another cat. This and many other marks of kindness shown him by Miss Alice made the ill-tempered cook jealous a poor Dick and she began to use him more cruelly than ever and always made game of him for sending his cat to sea. She asked him, do you think your cat will sell for as much money as would buy a stick to beat you? At last poor Dick could not bear this usage any longer and he thought he would run away from his place. So he packed up his few things and started very early in the morning on all Hallows' Day, the 1st of November. He walked as far as Halloway and there sat down on a stone which to this day is called Wittington's Stone and began to think to himself which road he should take. While he was thinking what he should do, the bells of Bow Church, which at that time were only six, began to ring and their sound seemed to say to him, turn again, Wittington, thrice Lord Mayor of London. Lord Mayor of London, said he to himself, why to be sure I would put up with almost anything now to be Lord Mayor of London and ride in a fine kerch when I grow to be a man. Well, I will go back and think nothing of the cuffing and scolding of the old cook if I am to be Lord Mayor of London at last. Dick went back and was lucky enough to get into the house and set about his work before the old cook came downstairs. We must now follow Miss Puss to the coast of Africa. The ship with the cat on board was a long time at sea and was at last driven by the winds on a part of the coast of Barbary where the only people were the moors unknown to the English. The people came in great numbers to see the sailors because they were of different colour to themselves and treated them civilly and when they became better acquainted were very eager to buy the fine things that the ship was loaded with. When the captain saw this he sent patterns of the best things he had to the king of the country who was so much pleased with them that he sent for the captain to the palace. Here they were placed as it is the custom of the country on rich carpets floured with gold and silver. The king and queen were seated at the upper end of the room and a number of dishes were brought in for dinner. They had not sat long when a vast number of rats and mice rushed in and devoured all the meat in an instant. The captain wandered at this and asked if these vermin were not unpleasant. Oh yes said they, very offensive and the king would give half his treasure to be freed of them for they not only destroy his dinner as you see but they assault him in his chamber and even in bed so that he is obliged to be watched while he is sleeping for fear of them. The captain jumped for joy he remembered Paul Wittington and his cat and told the king he had a creature on board the ship that would dispatch all these vermin immediately. The king jumped so high at the joy which the news gave him that his turban dropped off his head. Bring this creature to me says he vermin are dreadful in a court and if she will perform what you say I will load your ship with gold and jewels in exchange for her. The captain who knew his business took this opportunity to set forth the merits of Miss Puss. He told his majesty it is not very convenient to part with her when she is gone the rats and mice may destroy the goods in the ship but to oblige your majesty I will fetch her. Run run said the queen I am impatient to see the dear creature. Away went the captain to the ship while another dinner was got ready. He put Puss under his arm and arrived at the place just in time to see the table full of rats. When the cat saw them she did not wait for bidding but jumped out of the captain's arms and in a few minutes laid almost all the rats and mice dead at her feet. The rest of them in their fright scampered away to their holes. The king was quite charmed to get rid so easily of such plagues and the queen desired that the creature who had done them so great a kindness be brought to her that she might look at her upon which the captain called Pussy Pussy Pussy and she came to him. He then presented her to the queen who started back and was afraid to touch a creature who had made such a havoc among the rats and mice. However when the captain stroked the cat and called Pussy Pussy the queen also touched her and cried Puddy Puddy for she had not learned English. He then put her down on the queen's lap where she purred and played with her majesty's hand and then purred herself to sleep. The king having seen the exploits of Mrs. Puss and being informed that her kittens would stock the whole country and keep it free from rats bargained with the captain for the whole ship's cargo and then gave him ten times as much for the cat as all the rest amounted to. The captain then took leave of the royal party and set sail with a fair wind for England and after a happy voyage arrived safe in London. One morning early Mr. Fitzwarren had just come to his counting house and seated himself at the desk to count over the cash and settle the business for the day when somebody came tap tap at the door. Who's there? said Mr. Fitzwarren. A friend answered the other. I come to bring you good news of your ship Unicorn. The merchant bustling up in such a hurry that he forgot his gout opened the door and who should he see waiting but the captain and factor with a cabinet of jewels and a bill of lading. When he looked at this the merchant lifted up his eyes and thanked heaven for sending him such a prosperous voyage. They then told the story of the cat and showed the rich present that the king and queen had sent for her to poor Dick. As soon as the merchant heard this he called out to his servants go send him in and tell him of his fame pray call him Mr. Wittington by name. Mr. Fitzwarren now showed himself to be a good man for when some of his servants said so great a treasure was too much for him he answered God forbid I should deprive him of the value of a single penny it is his own and he shall have it to a farthing. He then sent for Dick who at that time was scouring pots for the cook and was quite dirty. He would have excused himself from coming into the counting house saying the room is swept and my shoes are dirty and full of hobnails but the merchant ordered him to come in. Mr. Fitzwarren ordered a chair to be set for him and so he began to think they were making game of him at the same time said to them Do not play tricks with a poor simple boy but let me go down again if you please to my work. Indeed Mr. Wittington said the merchant we are all quite in earnest with you and I most heartily rejoice in the news that these gentlemen have brought you for the captain has sold your cat to the king of Barbary and brought you in return for her more riches than I possess in the whole world and I wish you may long enjoy them. Mr. Fitzwarren then told the men to open the great treasure they had brought with them and said Mr. Wittington has nothing to do but to put it in some place of safety Poor Dick hardly knew how to behave himself for joy he begged his master to take what part of it he pleased since he owed it all to his kindness No no answered Mr. Fitzwarren this is all your own and I have no doubt that you will use it well Dick next asked his mistress and then Miss Alice to accept a part of his good fortune but they would not and at the same time told him they felt great joy at his good success but this poor fellow was too kind hearted to keep it all to himself so he made a present to the captain the mate and the rest of Mr. Fitzwarren's servants and even to the ill-natured old cook After this Mr. Fitzwarren advised him to send for a proper tailor and get himself dressed like a gentleman and told him he was welcome to live in his house so he could provide himself with a better When Wittington's face was washed his hair curled his hat cocked and he was dressed in a nice suit of clothes he was as handsome and genteel as any young man who visited at Mr. Fitzwarren's so that Miss Alice, who had once been so kind to him and thought of him with pity now looked upon him as fit to be her sweetheart and them also no doubt because Wittington was now always thinking what he could do to oblige her and making her the prettiest presence that could be Mr. Fitzwarren soon saw their love for each other and proposed to join them in marriage and to this they both readily agreed A day for the wedding was soon fixed and they were attended to church by the Lord Mayor the Court of Aldermen, the Sheriffs and a great number of the richest merchants in London whom they afterwards treated with a very rich feast History tells us that Mr. Wittington and his lady lived in great splendour and were very happy They had several children He was sheriff of London, thrice Lord Mayor and received the honour of knighthood by Henry V He entertained this king and his queen at dinner after his conquest of France so grandly that the king said, never had Prince such a subject When Sir Richard heard this he said Never had subject such a prince The figure of Sir Richard Wittington with his cat in his arms carved in stone was to be seen till the year 1780 over the archway of the old prison of Newgate he built for criminals End of Chapter 31 Wittington and his cat This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Joy Chan English fairytales, collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 32 The Strange Visitor The woman was sitting at her reel one night and still she sat and still she reeled and still she wished for company In came a pair of broad broad souls and sat down at the fireside and still she sat and still she reeled and still she wished for company In came a pair of small small legs and sat down on the broad broad souls and still she sat and still she reeled and still she wished for company. In came a pair of thick, thick knees and sat down on the small, small legs. And still she sat and still she reeled and still she wished for company. In came a pair of thin, thin thighs and sat down on the thick, thick knees. And still she sat and still she reeled and still she wished for company. In came a pair of huge, huge hips, and sat down on the thin, thin thighs. And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company. In came a wee, wee waist, and sat down on the huge, huge hips. And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company. In came a pair of broad, broad shoulders, and sat down on the wee, wee waist. And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company. In came a pair of small, small arms, and sat down on the broad, broad shoulders. And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company. In came a pair of huge, huge hands, and sat down on the small, small arms. And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company. In came a small, small neck, and sat down on the broad, broad shoulders. And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company. In came a huge, huge head, and sat down on the small, small neck. How did you get such broad, broad feet, quote the woman? Much tramping, much tramping, gruffly. How did you get such small, small legs? I laid and we mow, whiningly. How did you get such thick, thick knees? Much praying, much praying, piously. How did you get such thin, thin thighs? I laid and we mow, whiningly. How did you get such big, big hips? Much sitting, much sitting, gruffly. How did you get such a wee, wee waist? I laid and we mow. How did you get such broad, broad shoulders? With carrying broom, with carrying broom, gruffly. How did you get such small, small arms? I laid and we mow, whiningly. How did you get such huge, huge hands? Threshing with an iron flail, threshing with an iron flail, gruffly. How did you get such a small, small neck? I laid and we mow, pitifully. How did you get such a huge, huge head? Much knowledge, much knowledge, keenly. What do you come for? For you! At the top of the voice, with a wave of the arm and a stamp of the feet. End of chapter 32, The Strange Visitor. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to find out how you can volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Joy Chan. English fairy tales, collected by Joseph Jacobs. Chapter 33 The Lately Worm of Spindleston Hugh. In Bambra Castle once lived a king who had a fair wife and two children, a son named Child Wind and a daughter named Margaret. Child Wind went forth to seek his fortune, and soon after he had gone the queen his mother died. The king mourned her long and faithfully, but one day while he was hunting he came across a lady of great beauty and became so much in love with her that he determined to marry her. So he sent word home that he was going to bring a new queen to Bambra Castle. Princess Margaret was not very glad to hear of her mother's place being taken, but she did not repine but did her father's bidding, and at the appointed day came down to the castle gate with the keys all ready to hand over to her stepmother. Soon the procession drew near, and the new queen came towards Princess Margaret, who bowed low and handed her the keys of the castle. She stood there with blushing cheeks and eye on ground and said, Oh, welcome, Father dear, to your halls and bowers, and welcome to you, my new mother, for all that's here is yours. And again she offered the keys. One of the king's knights who had escorted the queen cried out in admiration. Surely this northern princess is the loveliest of her kind. At that the new queen flushed up and cried out, at least your courtesy might have accepted me, and then she muttered below her breath. I'll soon put an end to her beauty. That same night the queen, who was a noted witch, stole down to a lonely dungeon, wherein she did her magic with spells three times three, and with parsers nine times nine she cast Princess Margaret under her spell. And this was her spell. I read ye to be a ladely worm, and borrowed shall ye never be, until child wind, the king's own son, come to the hue and thrice kiss thee, until the world comes to an end, borrowed shall ye never be. So Lady Margaret went to bed a beautyous maiden, and rose up a ladely worm. And when her maidens came in to dress her in the morning, they found coiled up on the bed a dreadful dragon, which uncoiled itself and came towards them. But they ran away shrieking, and the ladely worm crawled and crept, and crept and quarreled, till it reached the hue or rock of the spindle-stone, round which it coiled itself, and lay there basking with its terrible snout in the air. Soon the country round about had reason to know of the ladely worm of spindle-stone hue. For hunger drove the monster out from its cave, and it used to devour everything it could come across. So at last they went to a mighty warlock, and asked him what they should do. Then he consulted his works at his familiar, and told them, the ladely worm is really the princess Margaret, and it is hunger that drives her forth to do such deeds. Put aside for her seven kind, and each day as the sun goes down, carry every drop of milk they yield to the stone trough at the foot of the hue, and the ladely worm will trouble the country no longer. But if you would that she be borrowed to her natural shape, and that she who bespelled her be rightly punished, send over the seas for her brother, Child Wind. All was done as the warlock advised, the ladely worm lived on the milk of the seven kind, and the country was troubled no longer. But when Child Wind heard the news, he swore a mighty oath to rescue his sister, and revenge her on her cruel stepmother. And three and thirty of his men took the oath with him. Then they set to work and built a long ship, and its keel they made of the rowing tree. And when all was ready, they out with their oars, and pulled cheer for Bambra Keep. But as they got near the Keep, the stepmother felt by her magic power that something was being wrought against her, so she summoned her familiar imps and said, Child Wind is coming over the seas, he must never land, raise storms or bore the hull, but know how must he touch shore. Then the imps went forth to meet Child Wind's ship, but when they got near, they found they had no power over the ship, for its keel was made of the rowing tree. So back they came to the Queen Witch, who knew not what to do. She ordered her men at arms to resist Child Wind, if he should land near them, and by her spells she caused the ladely worm to wait by the entrance of the harbour. As the ship came near, the worm unfolded its coils, and dipping into the sea, caught hold of the ship of Child Wind, and banged it off the shore. Three times Child Wind urged his men on to row bravely and strong, but each time the ladely worm kept it off the shore. Then Child Wind ordered the ship to be put about, and the Witch Queen thought he had given up the attempt. But instead of that, he only rounded the next point, and landed safe and sound in Beudel Creek. And then, with sword drawn and bow bent, rushed up followed by his men to fight the terrible worm that had kept him from landing. But the moment Child Wind had landed, the Witch Queen's power over the ladely worm had gone, and she went back to her bow all alone, not an imp, nor a man at arms to help her, for she knew her hour was come. So when Child Wind came rushing up to the ladely worm, it made no attempt to stop him or hurt him. But just as he was going to raise his sword to slay it, the voice of his own sister Margaret came from its jaws, saying, Oh, quit your sword, unbend your bow, and give me kisses three, for though I am a poisonous worm, no harm I'll do to thee. Child Wind stayed his hand, but he did not know what to think if some witchry were not in it. Then said the ladely worm again, Oh, quit your sword, unbend your bow, and give me kisses three, if I'm not one, he a set of sun, one never shall I be. Then Child Wind went up to the ladely worm and kissed it once, but no change came over it. Then Child Wind kissed it once more, but yet no change came over it. For a third time he kissed the loathsome thing, and with a hiss and a roar, the ladely worm reared back and before Child Wind stood his sister Margaret. He wrapped his cloak about her, and then went up to the castle with her. When he reached the keep, he went off to the rich queen's bower, and when he saw her, he touched her with a twig of a rowan tree. No sooner had he touched her than she shriveled up and shriveled up, till she became a huge, ugly toad, with bold, staring eyes and a horrible hiss. She croaked and she hissed, and then hopped away down the castle steps, and Child Wind took his father's place as king, and they all lived happy afterwards. But to this day the loathsome toad is seen at times, haunting the neighborhood of Bambara Keep, and the wicked witch queen is a ladely toad. End of Chapter 33 The Ladely Worm of Spindleston Hugh This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to find out how you can volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 34 The Cat and the Mouse The cat and the mouse played in the malt house. The cat bit the mouse's tail off. Pray, Puss, give me my tail. No, says the cat. I'll not give you your tail till you go to the cow and fetch me some milk. First she leapt and then she ran, till she came to the cow and thus began. Pray, cow, give me milk, that I may give cat milk, that cat may give me my own tail again. No, said the cow. I will give you no milk till you go to the farmer and get me some hay. First she leapt and then she ran, till she came to the farmer and thus began. Pray, farmer, give me hay, that I may give cow hay, that cow may give me milk, that I may give cat milk, that cat may give me my own tail again. No, says the farmer. I'll give you no hay till you go to the butcher and fetch me some meat. First she leapt and then she ran, till she came to the butcher and thus began. Pray, butcher, give me meat, that I may give farmer meat, that farmer may give me hay, that I may give cow hay, that cow may give me milk, that I may give cat milk, that cat may give me my own tail again. No, says the butcher. I'll give you no meat till you go to the baker and fetch me some bread. First she leapt and then she ran, till she came to the baker and thus began. Pray, baker, give me bread, that I may give butcher bread, that butcher may give me meat, that I may give farmer meat, that farmer may give me hay, that I may give cow hay, that cow may give me milk, that I may give cat milk, that cat may give me my own tail again. Yes, says the baker. I'll give you some bread. But if you eat my meal, I'll cut off your head. Then the baker gave mouse bread, and mouse gave butcher bread, and butcher gave mouse meat, and mouse gave farmer meat, and farmer gave mouse hay, and mouse gave cow hay, and cow gave mouse milk, and mouse gave cat milk, and cat gave mouse her own tail again. End of chapter 34, The Cat and the Mouse. This is a LibriVox recording. Old LibriVox recordings in the public domain. For more information or to find out how you can volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Joy Chan. English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs. Chapter 35. The Fish and the Ring. Once upon a time there was a mighty baron in the North country who was a great magician that knew everything that would come to pass. So one day when his little boy was four years old, he looked into the Book of Fate to see what would happen to him, and to his dismay, he found that his son would wed a lowly maid that had just been born in a house under the shadow of York Minster. Now the baron knew the father of the little girl was very, very poor, and he had five children already. So he called for his horse and rode into York, and passed by the father's house, and sought him sitting by the door, sad and dullful. So he dismounted and went up to him and said, What is the matter, my good man? And the man said, Well, Your Honor, the fact is, I have five children already, and now six come, a little lass, and where to get the bread from to fill their mouths? That's more than I can say. Don't be downhearted, my man, said the baron. If that's your trouble, I can help you. I'll take away the last little one, and you won't have to bother about her. Thank you kindly, sir, said the man, and he went in and brought out the lass, and gave her to the baron, who mounted his horse and rode away with her. And when he got by the bank of the river else, he threw the little thing into the river, and rode off to his castle. But the little lass didn't sink. Her clothes kept her up for a time, and she floated and she floated, till she was cast ashore just in front of a fisherman's hut. There the fisherman found her, and took pity on the poor little thing, and took her into his house, and she lived there till she was fifteen years old, and a fine, handsome girl. One day it happened that the baron rent out hunting with some companions along the banks of the river else, and stopped at the fisherman's hut to get a drink, and the girl came out to give it to them. They all noticed her beauty, and one of them said to the baron, You can read fates, baron. Whom will she marry, do you think? Oh, that's easy to guess, said the baron, some yokel or other, but I'll cast her horoscope. Come here, girl, and tell me on what day you were born. I don't know, sir, said the girl. I was picked up just here after having been brought down by the river about fifteen years ago. Then the baron knew who she was, and when they went away, he rode back and said to the girl, Hark ye, girl, I will make your fortune. Take this letter to my brother and Scarborough, and you'll be settled for life. And the girl took the letter and said she would go. Now this was what he had written in the letter. Dear brother, take the bearer and put her to death immediately. Yours affectionately, Albert. So soon after the girl set out for Scarborough and slept for the night at a little inn. Now that very night a band of robbers broke into the inn and searched the girl who had no money and only the letter. So they opened this and read it, and thought it a shame. The captain of the robbers took a pen and paper and wrote this letter. Dear brother, take the bearer and marry her to my son immediately. Yours affectionately, Albert. And then he gave it to the girl bidding her be gone. So she went on to the baron's brother at Scarborough, a noble night with whom the baron's son was staying. When she gave the letter to his brother, he gave orders for the wedding to be prepared at once, and they were married that very day. Soon after the baron himself came to his brother's castle, and what was his surprise to find that the very thing he had plotted against had come to pass. But he was not to be put off that way, and he took out the girl for a walk, as he said, along the cliffs. And when he got her all alone, he took her by the arms and was going to throw her over. But she begged hard for her life. I have not done anything, she said. If you will only spare me, I will do whatever you wish. I will never see you or your son again till you desire it. Then the baron took off his gold ring and threw it into the sea, saying, Never let me see your face till you can show me that ring. And he let her go. The poor girl wandered on and on, till at last she came to a great noble's castle, and she asked to have some work given to her, and they made her the scullion girl of the castle, for she had been used to such work in the fisherman's hut. Now one day, who should she see coming up to the noble's house, but the baron and his brother and his son, her husband? She didn't know what to do, but thought they would not see her in the castle kitchen. So she went back to her work with a sigh, and set to cleaning a huge big fish that was to be boiled for their dinner. And as she was cleaning it, she saw something shine inside it. And what do you think she found? Why, there was the baron's ring, the very one he had thrown over the cliff at Scarborough. She was right glad to see it, he may be sure. Then she cooked the fish as nicely as she could and served it up. Well, when the fish came on the table, the guests liked it so well, that they asked the noble who cooked it. He said he didn't know but called to his servants. Oh there, sent up the cook that cooked that fine fish. So they went down to the kitchen and told the girl she was wanted in the hall. Then she washed and tidied herself, and put the baron's gold ring on her thumb, and went up into the hall. When the banqueters saw such a young and beautiful cook, they were surprised. But the baron was in a tower of a temper, and started up as if he would do her some violence. So the girl went up to him with her hand before her with the ring on it, and she put it down before him on the table. Then at last the baron saw that no one could fight against fate, and he handed her to a seat, and announced to all the company that this was his son's true wife. And he took her and his son home to his castle, and they all lived as happy as could be ever afterwards. End of Chapter 35 The Fish and the Ring This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to find out how you can volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Joy Chan English Fairy Tales Selected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 36 The Magpie's Nest Once upon a time when pigs spoke rhyme and monkeys chewed tobacco, and hens took snuff to make them tough, and ducks went quack quack quack-o. All the birds of the air came to the magpie, and asked her to teach them how to build nests. For the magpie is the cleverest bird of all at building nests. So she put all the birds round her and began to show them how to do it. First of all, she took some mud and made a sort of round cake with it. Oh, that's how it's done, said the thrush, and away it flew, and so that's how thrushes build their nests. Then the magpie took some twigs and arranged them round in the mud. Now I know all about it, says the black bird, and off he flew, and that's how the black birds make their nests to this very day. Then the magpie put another layer of mud over the twigs. Oh, that's quite obvious, said the wise owl, and away it flew, and owls have never made better nests since. After this the magpie took some twigs and twined them round the outside. The very thing, said the sparrow, and off he went, so sparrows make rather slowly nests to this day. Well, then madge magpie took some feathers and stuff, and lined the nest very comfortably with it. That suits me, cried the starling, and off it flew, and very comfortable nests have starlings. So it went on, every bird taking away some knowledge of how to build nests, but none of them waiting to the end. Meanwhile, madge magpie went on working and working, without looking up till the only bird that remained was the turtle dove, and that hadn't paid any attention all along, but only kept on saying it silly cry. Take two, taffy, take two! At last the magpie heard this, just as she was putting a twig across. So she said, one's enough. But the turtle dove kept on saying, take two, taffy, take two! Then the magpie got angry and said, one's enough, I tell you! One's enough, I tell you! Still the turtle dove cried, take two, taffy, take two! At last and at last, the magpie looked up and saw nobody near her, but the silly turtle dove, and then she got rare angry and flew away, and refused to tell the birds how to build nests again. And that is why different birds build their nests differently. End of chapter 36, the magpie's nest. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to find out how you can volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Joy Chan. English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs. Chapter 37 Kate Crackernuts Once upon a time there was a king and a queen, as in many lands have been. The king had a daughter Anne, and the queen had one named Kate. But Anne was far bonnier than the queen's daughter, though they loved one another like real sisters. The queen was jealous of the king's daughter being bonnier than her own, and cast about to spoil her beauty. So she took counsel of the henwife who told her to send the lassie to her next morning fasting. So next morning early the queen said to Anne, go my dear to the henwife in the glen, and ask her for some eggs. So Anne set out, but as she passed through the kitchen she saw a crust, and she took and munched it as she went along. When she came to the henwives she asked for eggs, as she had been told to do. The henwife said to her, lift the lid off that pot there and see. The lassie did so, but nothing happened. Go home to your mini and tell her to keep her lard or door better locked, said the henwife. So she went home to the queen and told her what the henwife had said. The queen knew from this that the lassie had had something to eat, so watched to the next morning and sent her away fasting. But the princess saw some country folk picking peas by the roadside, and being very kind she spoke to them and took a handful of the peas which she ate by the way. When she came to the henwives she said, lift the lid off that pot and you'll see. So Anne lifted the lid, but nothing happened. Then the henwife was rare angry, and said to Anne, tell your mini the pot won't boil if the fire's away. So Anne went home and told the queen. The third day the queen goes along with the girl herself to the henwife. Now this time when Anne lifted the lid off the pot, off falls her own pretty head and on jumps a sheep's head. So the queen was now quite satisfied and went home. Her own daughter Kate however took a fine linen cloth and wrapped it around her sister's head and took her by the hand, and they both went out to seek their fortune. They went on and they went on and they went on till they came to a castle. Kate knocked at the door and asked for a night's lodging for herself and a sick sister. They went in and found it was a king's castle who had two sons, and one of them was sickening away to death, and no one could find out what ailed him. And the curious thing was that whoever watched him at night was never seen anymore. So the king had offered a peck of silver to anyone who would stop up with him. Now Katey was a very brave girl, so she offered to sit up with him. Till midnight all goes well, as twelve o'clock rings however the sick prince rises, dresses himself and slips downstairs. Kate followed but he didn't seem to notice her. The prince went to the stable, saddled his horse, caught his hound, jumped into the saddle, and Kate leapt lightly up behind him. Away rode the prince and Kate through the greenwood. Kate as they passed plucking nuts from the trees and filling her apron with them. They rode on and on till they came to a green hill. The prince here drew bridal and spoke, open, open, green hill, and let the young prince in with his horse and his hound, and Kate added, and his lady him behind. Immediately the green hill opened and they passed in. The prince entered a magnificent hall, brightly lighted up, and many beautiful fairies surrounded the prince and led him off to the dance. Meanwhile Kate, without being noticed, hid herself behind the door. There she sees the prince dancing and dancing and dancing, till he could dance no longer and fell upon a couch. Then the fairies would fan him till he could rise again and go on dancing. At last the crop crew and the prince made all haste to get on horseback. Kate jumped up behind and home they rode. When the morning sun rose they came in and found Kate sitting down by the fire, and cracking her nuts. Kate said the prince had a good night, but she would not sit up another night, unless she was to get a peck of gold. The second night passed as the first had done. The prince got up at midnight and rode away to the green hill and the fairy ball, and Kate went with him, gathering nuts as they rode through the forest. This time she did not watch the prince, for she knew he would dance and dance and dance. But she sees a fairy baby playing with a wand, and overhears one of the fairies say. Three strokes of that wand would make Kate's sick sister as bonny as ever she was. So Kate rolled nuts to the fairy baby, and rolled nuts to the baby totalled after the nuts and let fall the wand. And Kate took it up and put it in her apron. And at cock crow they rode home as before. And the moment Kate got home to her room, she rushed and touched Anne three times with the wand, and the nasty sheep's head fell off, and she was her own pretty self again. The third night Kate consented to watch only if she should marry the sick prince. All went on as on the first two nights. This time the fairy baby was playing with a birdie. Kate heard one of the fairies say. Three bites of that birdie would make the sick prince as well as ever he was. Kate rolled all the nuts she had to the fairy baby till the birdie was dropped, and Kate put it in her apron. At cock crow they set off again, but instead of cracking her nuts as she used to do, this time Kate plucked the feathers off and cooked the birdie. Soon there rose a very savoury smell. Oh, said the sick prince, I wish I had a bite of that birdie. So Kate gave him a bite of the birdie, and he rose up on his elbow. By and by he cried out again, oh, if I had another bite of that birdie. So Kate gave him another bite, and he sat off on his bed. Then he said again, oh, if only I had a third bite of that birdie. So Kate gave him a third bite, and he rose quite well, dressed himself, and sat down by the fire, and when the folk came in next morning, they found Kate and the young prince cracking nuts together. Meanwhile his brother had seen Annie, and had fallen in love with her, as everybody did who saw her sweet pretty face. So the sick son married the well sister, and the well son married the sick sister, and they all lived happy and died happy, and never drank out of a dry cappy. End of Chapter 37 Kate Cracker Nuts This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to find out how you can volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 38 The Cold Lad of Hilton At Hilton Hall long years ago, they lived a brownie that was the contrarious brownie you ever knew. At night, after the servants had gone to bed, it would take a long time for them to find out how they were doing. They would have to put sugar in the salt cellars, pepper into the beer, and it was up to all kinds of pranks. It would throw the chairs down, put tables on their backs, break out fires, and do as much mischief as could be. But sometimes it would be in a good temper, and then... What's a brownie, you say? Oh, it's kind of a sort of a bogal, but it isn't so cruel as a red cap. What? It's a brownie. It isn't so cruel as a red cap. What? You don't know what's a bogal or a red cap? Ah, me. What's the world are coming to? Of course a brownie is a funny little thing, half-man, half-goblin, with pointed ears and hairy hide. When you bury a treasure, you scatter over it blood drops of a newly slain kid or lamb, or better still, bury the animal with the treasure, and a brownie will watch over it for you and frighten everybody else away. Where was I? Well, as I was saying, the brownie at Hilton Hall would play at mischief, but if the servants laid out for it a bowl of cream or a knucklecake spread with honey, it would clear away things for them and to make everything tidy in the kitchen. One night, however, when the servants had stopped up late, they heard a noise in the kitchen and peeping in saw the brownie swing to and fro in the jack chain and saying, Woes me, the acorns not yet fallen from the tree. That's to grow the wood, that's to make the cradle, that's to rock the barn, that's to grow to the man, that's to lay me. Woes me, woes me. So they took pity on the poor brownie and asked the nearest henwife what they should do to send it away. That's easy enough, said the henwife, and told them that a brownie that's paid for its service in awe that's not perishable goes away at once. So they made a cloak of Lincoln Green with a hood to it, and put it by the hearth and watched. They saw the brownie come up and seeing the hood and cloak put them on and frisk about dancing on one leg and saying, I've taken your cloak, I've taken your hood, the cold lad of Hilton will do no more good. And with that it vanished and was never seen or heard of afterwards. End of Chapter 38 The Cold Lad of Hilton This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Joy Chan English Fairy Tales Collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 39 The Ass, the Table and the Stick A lad named Jack was once so unhappy at home through his father's ill treatment that he made up his mind to run away and seek his fortune in the wide world. He ran and he ran till he could run no longer and then he ran right up against a little old woman who was gathering sticks. He was too much out of breath to beg pardon. But the woman was good natured and she said he seemed to be a likely lad so she would take him to be her servant and would pay him well. He agreed for he was very hungry and she brought him to her house in the wood where he served her for twelve months and a day. When the year had passed she called him to her and said she had good wages for him so she presented him with an ass out of the stable and he had butt to pull Nettie's ears to make him begin at once to ear. And when he braided they dropped from his mouth silver sixpences and half crowns and golden guineas. The lad was well pleased with the wage he had received and away he rode till he reached an inn. There he ordered the best of everything and when the innkeeper refused to serve him without being paid beforehand the boy went off to the stable pulled the ass's ears and obtained his pocket full of money. The host had watched all this through a crack in the door and when night came on he put an ass of his own for the precious Nettie of the poor youth. So Jack without knowing that any change had been made in the morning to his father's house. Now I must tell you that near his home dwelt a poor widow with an only daughter. The lad and the maiden were fast friends and true loves but when Jack asked his father's leave to marry the girl never till you have the money to keep her was the reply. I have that father said the lad and going to the ass he pulled his long ears well he pulled and he pulled to one of them came off in his hands but Nettie though he heered and he heered let fall no half crowns or guineas the father picked up a hayfork and beat his son out of the house I promise you he ran ah he ran and ran and he came bang against the door and burst it open and there he was in a joiner's shop your unlikely lad said the joiner served me for 12 months in a day and I will pay you well so he agreed and served the carpenter for a year and a day now said the master I will give you your wage and he presented him with a table telling him he had but to say table be covered and at once it would be spread with lots to eat and drink Jack hitched the table on his back and away he went with it till he came to the inn well host shouted he my dinner today and that of the best very sorry but there is nothing in the house but Hammond eggs Hammond eggs for me exclaimed Jack I can do better than that come my table be covered at once the table was spread with turkey and sausages roast mutton potatoes and greens the public and opened his eyes but he said nothing not he that night he fetched down from his attic a table very like that of Jack and exchanged the two Jack none the wiser next morning hitched the worthless table onto his back and carried it home now father may marry my last he asked not unless you can keep her reply the father look here exclaimed Jack father I have a table which does all my bidding let me see it said the old man the lad set it in the middle of the room and bade it be covered but all in vain the table remained bare in a rage the father caught the warming pan down from the wall and warmed his son back with it so that the boy fled howling from the house and ran and ran till he came to a river and tumbled in a man picked him out and bade him assist him in making a bridge over the river and how do you think he was doing it why by casting a tree across so Jack climbed up to the top of the tree and threw his weight on it so that when the man had rooted the tree up Jack and the tree had dropped on the father bank thank you said the man and now for what you have done I will pay you so saying he tore a branch from the tree and fettled it up into a club with his knife there exclaimed he take this stick and when you say to it up stick and bang him it will knock anyone down who angers you the lad was overjoyed to get this stick so away he went with it to the inn and as soon as the publican appeared up stick and bang him was his cry at the word the cudgel flew from his hand and battered the old publican on the back wrapped his head bruised his arms tickled his ribs till he fell groaning on the floor still the stick belabored the prostrate man nor would Jack call it off till he had got back the stolen ass and table then he galloped home on the ass with the table on his shoulders and the stick in his hand when he arrived there he found his father was dead so he brought his ass into the stable and pulled its ears till he had filled the manger with money it was soon known through the town that Jack had returned rolling in wealth and accordingly all the girls in the place set their caps at him now said Jack I shall marry the richest lass in the place so tomorrow do you all come in front of my house with your money and your aprons next morning the street was full of girls with aprons held out and gold and silver in them but Jack's own sweetheart was among them and she had neither gold nor silver not but two copper pennies that was all she had stand aside lass said Jack to her speaking roughly thou has no silver nor gold stand off from the rest she obeyed and the tears ran down her cheeks and filled her apron with diamonds up stick and bang them exclaimed Jack whereupon the cudgel leapt up and running along the line of girls knocked them all on the heads and left them senseless on the pavement Jack took all their money and poured it into his true love's lap now lass he exclaimed thou art the richest and I shall marry thee end of chapter 39 the ass, the table and the stick this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs chapter 40 Fairy Ointment Dame Goody was a nurse that looked after sick people and minded babies at night she was woke up at midnight and when she went downstairs she saw a strange, squinny-eyed little ugly old fellow who asked her to come to his wife who was too ill to mind her baby Dame Goody didn't like the look of the old fellow but business is business so she popped on her things and went down to him and when she got down to him he whisked her up onto a large coal black horse with fiery eyes going at a rare pace Dame Goody holding on to the old fellow like grim death they rode and they rode till at last they stopped before a cottage door so they got down and went in and found the good woman a bed with the children playing about and the babe, a fine bouncing boy beside her Dame Goody took the babe which was as fine a baby boy as you'd wish to see the mother when she handed the baby to Dame Goody to mind gave her a box of ointment and told her to stroke the baby's eyes with it as soon as it opened them after a while it began to open its eyes Dame Goody saw that it had squinny eyes just like its father so she took the box of ointment and stroked its two eyelids with it but she couldn't help wondering what it was for as she had never seen such a thing done before so she looked to see if the others were looking and when they were not noticing she stroked her own right eyelid with the ointment no sooner had she done so than everything seemed to change about her the cottage became elegantly furnished the mother in the bed was a beautiful lady dressed up in white silk the little baby was still more beautiful than before and its clothes were made of a sort of silvery galls its little brothers and sisters around the bed were flat-nosed imps with pointed ears who made faces at one another and scratched their poles sometimes they would pull the sick lady's ears with their long and hairy paws in fact they were up to all kinds of mischief and Dame Goody knew that she had got into a house of pixies but she said nothing to nobody and as soon as the lady was well enough to mind the baby she asked the old fellow to take her back home so he came round to the door with the cold black horse with eyes of fire and off they went as fast as before or perhaps a little faster till they came to Dame Goody's cottage where the squinny-eyed old fellow lifted her down and left her thanking her civilly enough and paying her more than she had ever been paid before for such service now next day happened to be market day and as Dame Goody had been away from home she wanted many things in the house and trudged off to get them at the market as she was buying the things she wanted who should she see but the squinny-eyed old fellow who had taken her on the cold black horse and what do you think he was doing why he went about from stall to stall taking up things from each here's some fruit and there's some eggs and so on and no one seemed to take any notice now Dame Goody did not think at her business to interfere but she thought she ought not to let so good a customer pass without speaking so she ups to him and Bob succurbed to him and says gooden sir I hopes is how your good lady and little one are as well as but she couldn't finish what she was saying for the funny old fellow started back in surprise and he says to her says he what do you see me today see you says she well of course I do is playing as the sun in the skies and once more says she you are busy too into the bargain ah you see too much said he now hurry with which eye do you see all this with the right eye to be sure said she as proud as can be to find him out the ointment the ointment cried the old pixie thief take that for meddling with what don't concern you you shall see me no more and with that he struck her on her right eye and she couldn't see him anymore and what was worse she was blind on the right side from that hour to the day of her death end of chapter 40 fairy ointment this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs chapter 41 the well of the world's end once upon a time and a very good time it was though it wasn't in my time nor in your time nor anyone else's time there was a girl whose mother had died and her father had married again and her stepmother hated her because she was more beautiful than herself and she was very cruel to her she used to make her do all the servants work and never let her have any peace at last one day the stepmother thought to get rid of her all together so she handed her a sieve and said to her go fill it at the well of the world's end and bring it home to me full or woe betide you for she thought she would never be able to find the well of the world's end and if she did how could she bring home a sieve full of water well the girl started off and asked everyone she met to tell her where was the well of the world's end but nobody knew and she didn't know what to do when a queer little old woman all bent double told her where it was and how she could get to it so she did what the old woman told her and at last arrived at the well of the world's end but when she dipped the sieve in the cold cold water it all ran out again she tried and she tried again but every time it was the same and at last she sat down and cried as if her heart would break suddenly she heard a croaking voice and she looked up and saw a great frog with goggle eyes looking at her and speaking to her what's the matter dearie it said oh dear oh dear she said my stepmother has sent me all this long way to fill the sieve with water from the well of the world's end and I can't fill it know how at all well said the frog if you promise me to do whatever I bid you for a whole night long I'll tell you how to fill it so the girl agreed and then the frog said stop it with moss and daub it with clay and then it will carry the water away and then it gave a hop skip and jump and went flop into the well of the world's end so the girl looked about for some moss and lined the bottom of the sieve with it and over that she put some clay and then she dipped it once again into the well of the world's end and this time the water didn't run out and she turned to go away just then the frog popped up its head out of the well of the world's end and said remember your promise alright said the girl for thought she what harm can a frog do me so she went back to her stepmother and brought the sieve full of water from the well of the world's end the stepmother was fine and angry but she said nothing at all that very evening they heard something tap taping at the door low down and a voice cried out open the door my hinny my heart open the door my own darling mind you the words that you and I spoke down in the meadow at the world's end well whatever can that be cried out to the stepmother and the girl had to tell her all about it and what she had promised the frog girls must keep their promises said the stepmother go and open the door this instant for she was glad the girl would have to obey a nasty frog so the girl went and opened the door and there was the frog from the well of the world's end and it hopped and it skipped and it jumped till it reached the girl and then it said lift me to your knee my hinny my heart lift me to your knee my own darling remember the words you and I spoke down in the meadow by the world's end well but the girl didn't like to till her stepmother said lifted up this instant you hussy girls must keep their promises so at last she lifted the frog up onto her lap and it lay there for a time till at last it said give me some supper my hinny my heart give me some supper my darling remember the words you and I spoke in the meadow by the well of the world's end while she didn't mind doing that so she got at a bowl of milk and bread and fed it well and when the frog had finished it said go with me to bed my hinny my heart go with me to bed my own darling mind you the words you spoke to me down by the cold well so weary but that the girl wouldn't do till her stepmother said do what you promised girl girls must keep their promises do what you bid or out you go you and your froggy so the girl took the frog with her to bed and kept it as far away from her as she could well just as the day was beginning to break what should the frog say but chop off my head my hinny my heart chop off my head my own darling remember the promise you made to me down by the cold well so weary at first the girl wouldn't know what the frog had done for her at the well of the world's end but when the frog said the words over again she went and took an axe and chopped off its head and lo and behold there stood before her a handsome young prince he told her that he had been enchanted by a wicked magician and he could never be unspelled till some girl would do his bidding for a whole night and chop off his head at the end of it the stepmother was that surprised by the prince instead of the nasty frog and she wasn't best pleased you may be sure when the prince told her that he was going to marry his stepdaughter because she had unspelled him so they were married and went away to live in the castle of the king his father and all the stepmother had to console her was that it was all through her that her stepdaughter was married to a prince end of chapter 41 the well of the world's end this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs chapter 42 master of all masters a girl once went to the fair to hire herself for servant at last a funny looking old gentleman engaged her and took her home to his house when she got there he told her that he had something to teach her for that in his house he had his own names for things he said to her what will you call me master or mister whatever you please sir says she he said you must call me master of all masters and what would you call this pointing to his bed bed or couch whatever you please sir no that's my barnacle and what do you call these said he pointing to his pantaloons breeches or trousers or whatever you please sir you must call them squibs and crackers and what would you call her pointing to the cat cat or kit or whatever you please sir you must call her white faced simony and this now showing the fire what would you call this fire or flame or whatever you please sir you must call it hot coccolorum and what's this he went on pointing to the water water or wet or whatever you please sir no ponderlorum is its name and what do you call all this asked he as he pointed to the house house or cottage or whatever you please sir you must call it high topper mountain that very night the servant woke her master up in a fright and said master of all masters get out of your barnacle and put on your squibs and crackers for white faced simony has got a spark of hot coccolorum on its tail and unless you get some ponderlorum high topper mountain will be all on hot coccolorum that's all end of chapter 42 master of all masters this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs chapter 43 the three heads of the well long before Arthur and the knights of the round table they reigned in the eastern part of England a king who kept his court at Colchester most of all his glory his queen died leaving behind her an only daughter about 15 years of age who for her beauty and kindness was the wonder of all that knew her but the king hearing of a lady who had likewise an only daughter had a mind to marry her for the sake of her riches though she was old ugly hooked nose and humpbacked her daughter was a yellow dowdy full of envy and ill nature and in short was much of the same mold as her mother but in a few weeks the king attended by the nobility and gentry brought his deformed bride to the palace where the marriage rights were performed they had not been long in the court before they set the king against his own beautiful daughter by false reports the young princess having lost her father's love grew weary of the court and one day meeting with her father in the garden she begged him tears in her eyes to let her go and seek her fortune to which the king consented and ordered her mother-in-law to give her what she pleased she went to the queen who gave her a canvas bag of brown bread and hard cheese with a bottle of beer though this was but a pitiful dowry for a king's daughter she took it with thanks and proceeded on her journey passing through groves woods and valleys to that length she saw an old man sitting on a stone at the mouth of a cave who said good morrow fair maiden were there away so fast aged father says she I am going to seek my fortune what have you got in your bag and bottle in my bag I have got bread and cheese and in my bottle good small beer would you like to have some yes said he with all my heart with that the lady pulled out her provisions and bade him eat and welcome he did so and gave her many thanks and said there's a thick thorny hedge before you which you cannot get through but take this wand in your hand strike it three times and say pray hedge let me come through and it will open immediately then a little further you will find a well sit down on the brink of it and there will come up three golden heads which will speak the choir that do promising she would she took her leave of him coming to the hedge and using the old man's wand it divided and let her through then coming to the well she had no sooner sat down than a golden head came up singing wash me and comb me and lay me down softly and lay me on a bank to dry that I may look pretty when somebody passes by yes said she and taking it in her lap combed it with a silver comb and then placed it upon a primrose bank then up came a second and a third head saying the same as the former so she did the same for them and then pulling out her provisions sat down to eat her dinner then said the heads once another what shall we weird for this damsel who has used us so kindly the first said I weird her to be so beautiful that she shall charm the most powerful prince in the world the second said I weird her such a sweet voice as shall far exceed the nightingale the third said my gift shall be none of the least as she is a king's daughter I'll weird her so fortunate that she shall become queen to the greatest prince that reigns she then let them down into the well again and so went on her journey she had not travelled long before she saw a king hunting in the park with his nobles she would have avoided him but the king, having caught a sight of her approached and what with her beauty and sweet voice fell desperately in love with her and soon induced her to marry him this king finding that she was the king of kolkis's daughter ordered some chariots to be got ready to pay the king his father-in-law a visit the chariot in which the king and queen rode was adorned with rich gems of gold the king her father was at first astonished that his daughter had been so fortunate till the young king let him know of all that had happened great was the joy at court amongst all with the exception of the queen and her clubfooted daughter who were ready to burst with envy the rejoicings with feasting and dancing continued many days then at length they returned home with the dowry her father gave her the humpbacked princess perceiving that her sister had been so lucky in seeking her fortune wanted to do the same so she told her mother and all preparations were made and she was furnished with rich dresses and with sugar, almonds and sweet meats in great quantities and a large bottle of malaga sack with these she went to the same road as her sister and coming near the cave the old man said young woman wither so fast what's that to you said she then said he what have you in your bag and bottle she answered good things with you shall not be troubled with won't you give me some said he no, not a bit nor a drop unless it would choke you the old man frowned saying evil fortune attend ye going on she came to the hedge through which she aspired a gap and thought to pass through it but the hedge closed and the thorns ran into her flesh so that it was with great difficulty that she got through being now all over blood she searched for water to wash herself and looking round she saw the well she sat down on the brink of it and one of the heads came up saying wash me, comb me and lay me down softly as before but she banged it with her bottle saying take that for your washing so the second and third heads came up and met with no better treatment than the first we upon the heads consulted among themselves what evils to plague her with for such usage the first said let her be struck with leprosy in her face the second let her voice be as heart as a corn creaks the third said let her have for husband but a poor country cobbler well she goes on till she came to a town and it being market day the people looked at her and seeing such a mangy face and hearing such a squeaky voice all fled but a poor country cobbler now he not long before had mended the shoes of an old hermit who having no money gave him a box of ointment for the cure of leprosy and a bottle of spirits for a harsh voice so the cobbler having a mind to do an act of charity was induced to go up to her and ask her who she was I am said she the king of colkister's daughter-in-law well said the cobbler if I restore you to your natural complexion and make a sound cure both in face and voice will you in reward take me for a husband yes friend she replied with all my heart with this the cobbler applied the remedies and they made her well in a few weeks after which they were married and so set forward for the court at colkister when the queen found that her daughter had married nothing but a poor cobbler she hanged herself in wrath the death of the queen so pleased the king who was glad to get rid of her so soon that he gave the cobbler a hundred pounds to quit the court with his lady and take to a remote part of the kingdom where he lived many years mending shoes his wife spinning the thread for him end of chapter 43