 Please help me welcome Alan Stein, Jr. The first time I met Kobe Bryant, my life changed forever. See, back in 2007, Nike flew me out to Los Angeles to work the first ever Kobe Bryant Skills Academy. Nike brought in the top high school and college players from around the country for an intense three-day mini-camp with the best player in the world. And for any of you that don't follow basketball as closely as I do, just know that in 2007, Kobe was the best player in the game. Well, an important fact about me is basketball was my first identifiable passion. I fell in love with the game at five years old and here, 40 years later, basketball is still a major pillar of my life. And having grown up in this basketball bubble, I had always heard the urban legend of how insanely intense Kobe's individual workouts were. Well, when I found myself on his camp staff, I figured this was my chance. This is my shot. So my earliest opportunity, I walked up to Kobe and asked if I could watch one of his private workouts. He was incredibly gracious and smiled and said, sure, man, no problem. I'm going tomorrow at four. Well, I got a little bit confused because I had just got done looking through the camp schedule and the camp schedule clearly said that the first workout with the players was the following day at 3.30. Well, Kobe recognized that confused look on my face and clarified that with, yeah, that's four AM. Well, I couldn't think of a reason on why I couldn't be somewhere at four in the morning. So I had committed myself to being there and I figured if I'm gonna be there anyway, I may as well show Kobe how serious of a trainer I was. I may as well leave my mark. So I came up with the idea to beat him to the gym. So I set my alarm for three AM. The next morning, the alarm goes off. I jump up, I get myself dressed. I hop in a cab and I head to the gym. Now, when I arrive, it is 3.30 in the morning. So it is pitch black outside. And yet the moment I step out of the cab, I can see the gym lights already on. From the parking lot, I could faintly hear a ball bouncing and sneakers squeaking. I walk in the side door. Kobe's already in a full sweat. See, he was going through an intense warmup before his formal workout with his trainer started at four. While out of professional courtesy, I didn't say anything to Kobe and I didn't say anything to his trainer. I just sat down to watch. And for the first 45 minutes, I was shocked. For the first 45 minutes, I watched the best player on the planet do the most basic footwork in offensive moves. Kobe was doing stuff that I had routinely taught to middle school-aged players. Now, don't get it twisted. This was Kobe Bryant. See, he was doing everything in an unparalleled level of intensity. And he was doing everything with surgical precision. But the stuff he was doing was incredibly basic. Well, his workout went on for a couple more hours and when it was over, once again, I did not say anything to Kobe. I did not say anything to his trainer. I just quietly left. But my curiosity kept nipping away and it eventually overwhelmed me to the point that I had to know. So later that day at camp, I went up to Kobe again and said, Kobe, I don't understand. You're the best player in the world. Why are you doing such basic drills? And he flashed that million-dollar smile and he gave me a very friendly wink but he said in a serious tone, why do you think I'm the best player in the world? Because I never get bored with the basics. I never get bored with the basics. Kobe Bryant, the best player on the planet and someone that has truly mastered his craft, said that his secret is that he never gets bored with the basics. And as obvious as that may be to you all right now, that was a life-changing moment for me. See, in that moment, I realized that just because something is basic, it doesn't mean that it's easy. Those are not synonyms and yet people often use those words interchangeably. Just because something's basic, it doesn't mean that it's easy. If it was easy, everyone else would be doing it. And you all know that we live in a world that tells us it's okay to skip steps. Tells us we should always be looking for a shortcut or a hack. Tells us we should be chasing what's new and what's shiny and what's flashy and what's sexy and just ignore what's basic. But I'm here to tell you, if you do those things, you are making a huge mistake. That's because the basics work. They always have and they always will. And the very first step to you improving performance in any area of your life, whether it's personal or professional, whether it's individual or organizational, the very first step is to admit that the basics work. But it's also having the humility to acknowledge that implementing the basics every single day is never ever easy. Now, I realize I'm the first speaker. I realize it's early in the morning. I realize we're just getting to know each other and just getting acquainted. But I need you to trust me for a moment because I wanna have you guys do a mind-body connection exercise that I've done with the best basketball players on the planet. And I wanna see how you all stack up. So if you can, set down your coffees, set down your notepads, your pens. I just need your hands ready for a few moments. I'm going to give you very basic instructions for a very basic task. Here's what I need from you. I need you to take your left hand and put it on your nose. I need you to take your right hand and put it on your left ear. It's okay if you feel a little bit goofy. You should see what you look like from up here. When I say go, I want you to clap your hands twice and as fast as you can, I want you to make the mirror image of that. As fast as you possibly can, I want you to end up with your right hand on your nose and your left hand on your right ear. And I wanna see who the fastest person at Day of Excellence is. Basic task, basic instructions. Go! Please. Please put your hands down. I don't know if they had you sign a waiver of liability to come in here. But I can't afford for anybody to get hurt during my keynote talk. A few of you almost poked an eye out. As you can see, just because something is basic doesn't mean that it's easy. Now my goal today is basic indeed and that is to add as much value to your lives as I possibly can in our short time together. And please know that if you are here, if you have made the time and the effort and paid the money to be here, I consider you a high performer just like Kobe Bryant. And one thing I know for certain with high performers is they're looking to grow. They're looking to evolve. They're looking to improve. They're looking to develop. And they're looking for that edge. And that's ultimately why I'm here today. To give you that edge. In addition to possibly making you feel uncomfortable and uncoordinated, I'm going to tell you some stories and give you some concepts and ideas. But more importantly, practical, actionable takeaways that each and every one of you can implement immediately to work towards becoming the best version of yourself so that you can then make a maximum contribution to everything and everyone that you're involved with. But in order to do that, I need you all to be very open-minded to heightening clarity in three specific areas. And quick sidebar. As working professionals, as leaders, your communication is one of the most important tools, your ability to effectively communicate is one of the most important tools that you have in your toolbox. And it's been my experience. There are three ways that you can make your communication more effective. Three ways you can make your communication more meaningful and memorable. Three ways you can make your communication sticky. The first is communicate through story. Story drives emotion, emotion change behavior. Number two is be as concise as possible. Learn to communicate through tweets, not through blogs. And three is take advantage of the rhythm of three. There is an inherent power and there's something wired in our DNA as human beings that we tend to remember things that are taught in threes. So if you're like me, if you're an avid note taker, and I see a lot of you are doing that right now, which I love, if you're an avid note taker, when you see me hold up three fingers, you're gonna wanna write those three things down. So here are the three areas that we need to heighten clarity on. The first is our perspective. The second are our core values. And the third is our purpose. So let's first take a look at perspective, the way that you see the world. And I wanna highly encourage you to start looking through the lens of the foundational principle of transformational leadership, which is the mantra that it's not about me, it's about you. It's not about me, it's about you. You should be able to look every single member of your family in the eye and say this is not about me, this is about you. You should be able to look every single one of your colleagues and coworkers in the eye and say this is not about me, this is about you. And you absolutely need to be able to look every single client, customer, patient, member, whoever it is that you serve in the eye and say this is not about me, this is about you. See, when you can shift your focus to what you want for people instead of what you want from people, it's an absolute game changer. And I heard this quote a few weeks ago and it really resonated. If you focus on taking, you'll never have enough. If you focus on giving, you'll never run out. Thank you. And it just now dawned on me, as I'm standing here in front of roughly 1600 strangers, that I'm preaching that it's not about me, it's about you. And I just had you guys watch a video that I made about me and had them put up pictures of me on the big screen in case you got confused that that guy was this guy. So the lesson I can pull from that is every single thing I'm sharing with you guys today is not coming from a place of mastery. I'm still working on all the same stuff you guys are working on, have the same challenges and struggles that you do. We're all gonna be works in progress. We're all gonna be under construction and at no point do I expect them to put me under museum glass to be a finished product. So these are all things that we need to continue to work on. But don't ever forget that when you can have the lens of it's not about me, it's about you. It is an absolute game changer. Now let's talk about the second thing that we need to heighten awareness in and that is core values. What do you stand for? What do you believe in? What are the non-negotiable principles that you use to guide your life? Are you at a point where you live by a standard as opposed to living by emotion? When you can live by core values instead of living by the roller coaster of feelings that we experience as human beings, you'll become the most magnetic person in any room. But first and foremost, you have to get crystal on what those core values are. And from a core value standpoint, it actually makes decision making so much easier when you're clear on your core values. This doesn't mean you won't still have really hard decisions to make. It simply means you'll now have a framework to make those decisions easier. Because now you run every single decision in your life through the filter of, is this an alignment with my core values or not? And then the goal is to get as many of your decisions as humanly possible and as consistently as possible to be in alignment with your core values. But don't expect about a thousand, I'm certainly not. Just know as human beings we are flawed, we're gonna have lapses in judgment, we're gonna make poor decisions. So we're not looking for perfection, but instead let's be motivated by progress and see if you can consistently make better decisions today that are in alignment with your core values than you did yesterday. Make better decisions today in alignment with your core values than maybe you made last year. Be proud of the path you're on and be proud of the direction that you're going. Also keep in mind that when you live by core values you become the type of leader that others want to follow and you become the teammate that others want to play with. And for those of you that do lead teams you can't lead a team somewhere you're not going yourself and the team can't be something that you are not. So we have to get crystal clear on our core values. Now let's take a look at the third pillar where we need to heighten awareness and that is purpose. The why behind you do what you do. We have to get crystal clear on connecting to that purpose. And don't confuse function with purpose. Those lovely seats you're sitting in right now the function of those seats is to provide somewhere for you to sit. The purpose of those seats is to provide you comfort. I think we can agree we'd all be more comfortable sitting for an entire day of excellence than standing. So the purpose of those seats is to provide comfort and it's really important that you dig deep and figure out what is your purpose. One of the best organizations that I've ever seen do this is DHL, the International Shipping and Logistics Goliath. And they understand that their function is to ship brown boxes. Their purpose is to deliver promises. Those aren't the same things. So they need to make sure that everybody on their team knows and their team is hundreds of thousands of team members understands that you're not putting a brown box on a truck, you're loading a little kid's birthday present on a truck. So we have to stay connected to purpose. So those are the three areas that we need to heighten clarity. Perspective, core values and purpose. And I don't know that I know of anyone that embodies those three things better than my good friend and mentor, Jay Bellas of ESPN, who was kind enough to write the forward to my first book. And for those that don't follow college basketball, Jay is the face of ESPN College Game Day. And back in December of 2010, Jay was asked to call a very highly anticipated early season game in early December that pitted Duke versus Butler. And the reason that game was so highly anticipated were those were the two teams that met nine months previously in the national championship game where Duke narrowly escaped with a two point win. And it is very rare in college basketball that the two teams that meet on the biggest stage end up meeting again in early December. So as I said, there was a tremendous amount of buzz and hype around this game. Well, part of Jay's responsibility with ESPN is he watches both teams practice the day before the game so he can get a feel for their keys to victory, their strengths, he can learn about their personnel. Well, Jay, being a Duke alum, decided he was gonna go watch Duke practice first, who at the time was led by Hall of Fame coach, coach K, who recently retired as the all-time winningest coach in the history of college basketball. And Jay went to watch the Duke practice and he saw coach K saying with tremendous conviction and clarity and confidence. Guys, if you do what we do well and you play to our strengths and you follow our game plan, we will be more than fine tomorrow. We clearly have the competitive advantage. We are bigger, stronger, and more powerful than Butler is. If you do what we do well and you stick to our strengths and our game plan, we'll be more than fine tomorrow. We'll pound the ball down low and we'll get easy layups and dunks. We'll out rebound them and we'll contest every shot. Do what we do because we are clearly the ones with the competitive advantage. And Jay left that game and was thinking, this could be a massacre. Coach K, one of the best to ever hold a clipboard or blow a whistle just told his team definitively why they have the competitive advantage. But he needed to do his due diligence. So he went to watch the Butler Bulldogs practice who at the time were led by Brad Stevens. Brad Stevens was recently promoted from head coach to president of basketball operations and GM of the Boston Celtics in the NBA. And to Jay's surprise, Coach Stevens was saying with the exact same level of confidence, clarity, and conviction. Guys, if you do what we do well and you play to our strengths, we will be more than fine tomorrow. We clearly have the competitive advantage. We're smaller, quicker, and faster than they are. If you do what we do well and you play to our strengths, we will be fine tomorrow. We'll get tons of fast break points in transition. We'll put on a smothering full court press and there's no way their big guys can get out to our corner shooters. You do what we do well, you play to our strengths and you stick to our game plan, we'll be more than fine tomorrow. We clearly have the competitive advantage. And Jay left that game and was thinking, I got no idea who's gonna win this game. Both of these Hall of Fame caliber coaches have the self-awareness and team awareness to know exactly what it is that they do well, where their strengths lie, and what gives them the competitive advantage. So here's what I want you all to give some thought to. Where do your strengths lie? What are your natural talents? What are your gifts? What are the areas, the skill sets and the mindsets that you have that you need to continue to double down on to make them world-class and that will give you the opportunity to not only actualize being the best version of yourself, but at the exact same time, making maximum contribution to those around you. Where are your strengths and what is your game plan? Now my goal today, after our short time together, is I'm hoping that your self-awareness and your team awareness is going to be part of that answer for you. That is gonna be part of your secret sauce. So now I wanna start with self-awareness. And let's cover the three pillars of self-awareness. Those will be your habits, your mindset and your focus. Let's start with habits. The things we do unconsciously, the things we do consistently. There was a Duke University study and it found that 42% of every single thing we do is habitual. That means almost half of everything we do from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed is habitual. It's on autopilot. We've grooved a series of repeatable behaviors that give us comfort. So I now have a really important rhetorical question to ask each and every one of you. I've already established that through my lens, the fact that you are here for Day of Excellence means you are a high performer. You are the Kobe Bryant's of what you do. But here's the question I have for you. Are you a high performer because of your habits? Or are you a high performer in spite of your habits? If you were to list the things that you do consistently, especially on the bookends of your day, your morning and evening routine, the things that you do on a very regular basis, which percentage of those are helping you become the best version of yourself and which of those are hindering you? Which one of those are moving you in the right direction and which one of those are dragging you down? Here's your first actionable takeaway. A homework assignment if you will. And we don't have time to do it now but I would love for you to write down the instructions if you're taking notes and actually sit with this over the next couple of days. It's a self audit. And as much as I love and embrace technology, I'm old school and I'm analog. I like to take out a yellow legal pad and a pen and this is how I perform this exercise and this is how I want you guys to do the same thing. I want you to draw a vertical line down the middle of your paper. On the left side, I want you to write down a list of the things that fill your bucket. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. The things that charge you up. The things that give you energy. The things that make you smile. The things that add to your confidence level. I want you to write those things down. They could be things of a physical nature. Maybe taking a yoga class or hopping on a Peloton bike or going for a jog. Those could be things for your mental wellbeing. Reading a book, listening to a podcast, watching a documentary. They could be things for your emotional or spiritual wellbeing like meditation or prayer or having conversation with a close friend or a loved one. But I want you to write down the things that fill your bucket. Then on the other side of the paper, with honesty and vulnerability, I want you to write down how you've been spending the bookends of your day. How you've been spending your morning and evening routine. How have you been spending the first 60 minutes after you wake up and the last 60 minutes before you go to bed? And I understand that every day of the calendar week is not identical. That your Wednesday and your Sunday may look differently. But don't forget that Duke University study which clearly said that half of what you're doing is habitual, which means I'm willing to bet that what you do most Sunday mornings and what you do most Wednesday evenings, you have started to groove a pattern of behavior. A repeatable pattern of behavior. And I want you to write that down. And then to complete the audit, I want you to compare the two sides of the paper. Compare the two sets of notes. And I want you to ask yourself one of the most important questions you can ever ask yourself. Are you doing the things that you know you need to do to be your best self? Are you doing the things you feel you should be doing to become your best self? And I can almost promise you, even the highest performers in this room, if you do this with honesty and vulnerability, you're gonna start to uncover what's called a performance gap. And a performance gap is the gap between what we know and what we do. And even the highest performers in the world have a series of performance gaps, but they have worked relentlessly to make those at a razor's thin edge. You need to start closing the gap between what you know you should be doing. Remember, you came up with this list. I didn't come up with it. You know that you need to do the things on the left side of the paper. Now it's up to you to make the time to prioritize yourself and emphasize self-care so that you start doing the things that are on the right side of the paper. And you don't have to change everything at once. Start to sprinkle some of the stuff from the left side over onto the right side, even if it's only five to 10 minutes at a time. But you owe it to yourselves, you owe it to your families, you owe it to the groups that you work with to show up to everything as the best version of yourself. And the only way you can do that is through your habits. The only way you can do that is by making the time to fill your own bucket. So those are our habits. The second area that we need to heighten our self-awareness in is going to be mindset. The way that we view the world around us. And I want to encourage you to start developing what I call a winner's mindset. And the winner's mindset is the belief in deriving confidence from the fact that you're simply going to do the best you can with what you have wherever you are. That's it. You're going to do the best you can with what you have wherever you are. Now what's so powerful in that mindset and that mantra is it eliminates a trilogy of behaviors that not only undermine performance, but they undermine fulfillment and happiness and a sense of inner peace as well. And that is blaming, complaining, and making excuses. I try and use absolutes very sparingly, but as sure as I'm standing here, I can tell you, you will never, ever improve your situation or make things better for you or those around you by blaming, complaining, and making excuses. So the sooner we can work to drastically reduce, I won't say completely eliminate because once again we're all works in progress, we're all human beings, we are flawed, we're fallible. So don't worry about perfection, let's focus on progress. But you need to work to drastically reduce the temptation and it is an easy temptation to blame, complain, and make excuses because it will never improve your situation. And for many people walking the earth, they've conditioned themselves to making that a natural default. They've done it for so long that they don't believe it as a conscious choice, which at 100% is, they just believe in a knee-jerk reaction of blaming, complaining, and making excuses when things don't go their way. So here's ultimately what I want each and every one of us, and I'm very much included in this, this is the path that I'm on to work towards. And that is getting to the point that the outer world, circumstances, events, situations, what people say, what people do, the outer world does not dictate your inner world, your mindset, your attitude, your perspective, your sense of self-belief. Not letting what goes on around you dictate what goes on inside of you. Very basic concept. You know how I know it's basic? My three children understand it unequivocally and I haven't seen a single head in here so far explode. So I know that this is a basic concept. Nothing is easy about not letting the outer world impact your inner world. In fact, I'll go a step farther and say, every single thing that I have shared with you so far, every single thing I will share for you in the remainder of my presentation is as basic as can be. I'm a simple man with very simple beliefs and principles. None of this stuff is easy, none of it. So you need to know that going into it. Know that separating the outer world from the inner world is one of the most challenging things you can do. But you have the keys to the car. You have the power to choose your response. You have the power to choose your mindset, your perspective and your attitude. Now just to make sure we're crystal clear and you guys don't think I live in some fictitious Pollyanna world. I'm not saying that what goes on in the outer world is to your liking. I'm not saying that what goes on in the outer world is your preference. What I'm saying is you have absolutely zero control over what goes on in the outer world. All you can focus on and control is your response to that. Which ultimately means you have to have an attitude of extreme ownership, a full accountability and take pride in the fact that it doesn't matter what goes on around me. I will choose responses that move me forward, my family forward, my coworkers and my team forward. And by doing so, that's going to make you emotionally agile. And if you're not emotionally agile, you're emotionally fragile. And there's no way you can work to become your best self or make a meaningful contribution to those around you if you are emotionally fragile. So that is our mindset, our second pillar. Our third pillar is focus. What I'm actually gonna call refocus. I don't know in today's day and age that it's actually realistic to expect ourselves to have long periods of uninterrupted sustained focus. We just have too many distractions bombarding us every moment of every day. The vast majority of which come from those devices that were tethered to 24 seven. But what we can do is we can develop an awareness and everything starts with awareness. You will never improve something you're oblivious to. You will never fix something you're unaware of. So the more things you can bring to your level of consciousness and the more things that you can be aware of, the better. But we have to bring these things to awareness. And you need to be aware of when you find yourself unfocused. You need to be aware of when your mind starts to wander, of when you start to feel distracted, of when you're not present so that you can quickly refocus that lens. The trigger in the saying that I use is one that I've heard this both from Nick Saban, the head football coach at Alabama and I've also heard it from Oprah Winfrey. So it has to be true. If those two people are saying it, it has to be true. And they simply say that the definition of being in the present moment and being able to refocus the lens is to be where your feet are. Be where your feet are. Wherever your feet are, make sure that's where your head and your heart are as well. How many of you have ever been with someone but you haven't really been with someone? Your feet are in the room but your mind and your soul and your heart are somewhere else. We need to try to get all of our faculties in alignment and to be fully present. So we need to learn to be where our feet are. Now there is a more expanded definition of being present. And if you had to guess, how many pillars do you think it has? Three, all right, the group's listening, I love it. There are three pillars or three keys to living in the present moment. The first is refocus the lens on the next play. As a speaker, one of my favorite sounds is hearing pages turn and people writing stuff down. That's awesome. Second pillar of living in the present moment is to control the controllables. Refocus the lens on what you have control over. And the third pillar is to refocus the lens on the process. So let's take a look at next play. While I no longer do any direct basketball training, I left that five years ago to pursue this career as a corporate keynote speaker but when I was in the basketball training space, one of my responsibilities was to make sure that every single player on our team could quickly move to the next play. You just turn the ball over, it's okay, next play. You just missed a wide open layup, it's okay, next play. Yes, I know, the referee missed a call. It happens occasionally in basketball, next play. As a performance coach, why would I want my players focused on the next play? It's the only one they can do anything about. They can't do anything about the turnover, the missed layup or the referee's inability to blow the whistle. That is now in the rear view mirror. And any time and energy or emotional currency they put in the rear view mirror, something that is now behind them that is unchangeable means they're not investing that presence in the moment which means they're not able to perform at their highest level. And there are a lot of similarities between the game of basketball and the rest of life and business in general. In the game of elite level basketball, if you turn the ball over, you miss a layup or the referee misses a call. And you choose, the most important word in that sentence, you choose to hang your head, to pout, to jog back on defense, there is a very good chance that the person you're guarding just scored a layup or depending on the level you play a dunk on the other end. You just took a two-point mistake and immediately compounded it into a four-point mistake by choosing to be in your feelings and choosing not to be present. We are all going to make mistakes. It's 9 a.m., I've made a dozen of them so far today, I promise you, we're all gonna make mistakes. We cannot be in the business of compounding mistakes. Anytime we make a mistake, we need to immediately acknowledge it, hold ourselves fully accountable. We need to learn from it, apologize or make amends if necessary, depending on the mistake, and then we need to flush it. We need to move on to the next play. Take a moment right now and just think of all of the scenarios in your lives, assuming that nobody in here is an elite level basketball player and as I scan the crowd, I think that's a pretty fair assertion. So what are the things in your life that you need to quickly move to the next play instead of rehashing the past? By show of hands, anybody in here ever had an argument with a spouse? I mean, I'm amicably divorced. I've had more than my share of them. Anybody here had a disagreement with a coworker? Is anybody in here in sales and you feel like you're in a little bit of a slump? The last four sales calls or the last four proposals didn't go your way? You gotta quickly move to the next play. So now let's talk about the second part of being the present moment. Control the controllables. I believe that there's only two things in this world. We have 100% control over 100% of the time. I like that math, by the way. 100% control, 100% of the time. That is our effort and our attitude. I certainly don't have the time to sit with 1600 people individually, but if I did, boy, that would actually be fun, and I sat down with each and every one of you shoulder to shoulder and looked you in the eye and asked, is working hard at choice? That any time that you've given your best effort at something, was that a conscious choice? I'm willing to bet, if you're like me, you would acknowledge, yes, absolutely. Working hard is a choice. But you guys realize there has to be another side of that coin? If working hard is a choice, then not working hard is also a choice. And it can't be one that we choose to make very consistently if we wanna work to being the best versions of ourselves and if we wanna make a maximum contribution to everyone and everything around us. We can't choose that. You are in control of your effort any given time. Now once again, I don't live in a fantasy land. I know that there are plenty of outside circumstances. You didn't get sleep, you're hungry, you're not feeling well. You had said argument with spouse. There are plenty of things that make it way more difficult to want to give your best effort. I totally understand that. And there'll be times where you don't give your best effort. All I'm asking is that you acknowledge that that is completely up to you. You don't complain, blame, or make an excuse on why you did not give your best. You simply own it and then you move to the next play. The other half of that equation, so we've talked about effort, is attitude. And for the most part, I think I've covered attitude pretty sufficiently when I was talking about mindset because those two things are very directly correlated. Just remember that you do not control everything that goes on around you. You absolutely control your response. And in order to not only perform at a high level, succeed at a high level, but to also have a true sense of fulfillment, you need to consistently choose responses that move you forward and improve your situation as opposed to choosing responses that cripple you and move you back. Don't ever forget, you've got the keys to the car. You get to choose your response. And now the third pillar, or key to living in the present moment, is learning how to refocus the lens on the process. I know that's been somewhat of a buzz word or a buzz slogan over the last several years. Trust the process, respect the process. It's all about the process, but there's a tremendous amount of truth to that. What you need to do is you need to get crystal clear on your goal. Crystal clear on your North Star. Do that first, and then you need to develop a process that will increase the chance that you'll actually reach that goal. I want you guys to have tremendous clarity on the person that you're striving to become. One year, five years, 10 years, 20 years from now. I want you to get clarity on that. And then you have to actually make a process to help guide yourself to getting there. I'll tell you right now, I'm 46 years old. I've got a clear vision of the 66-year-old Allen Stein Jr. that I strive to become without getting too granular. I want to make sure that the 66-year-old Allen Stein Jr. is physically, mentally, and emotionally fit. I want my 66-year-old future self to have a strong connection with his children, family, and friends. I want the 66-year-old Allen to be doing work he considers meaningful and in service of other people. That's the vision that I have for myself 20 years from now. And I know that tomorrow is not promised. I know there's no guarantee I'll be here for 20 years. I do the best I can to take care of myself the odds are fairly decent I'll get there. But here's where this is important, that is my North Star. Every single decision I make in my life, every decision, large and small, from who I follow on Instagram to what I eat for lunch, to what I'm going to binge watch on Netflix, I run through the filter of, is this taking me closer to being that person? Or is it taking me further away? And then every single day I just do the best that I can to make as many decisions as possible that are in alignment with becoming that person. Not batting 1,000 far from perfect, but I want most of my decisions to line up with that. And the way that I check that is every single night I quickly ask myself this somewhat rhetorical question. Say, I just traded 24 hours of my life for the progress that I made today. Am I happy with that trade? If you're happy with that trade, then absolutely get a very restful night's sleep. If you're not happy with that trade, learn to quickly move to the next play and still get a restful night's sleep. But the beauty of that is I'm not postponing performance or success or happiness or fulfillment. I'm making those decisions that are in my future self's best interest. I'm making them today, which means those three things that I'm striving for 20 years from now are the same three things that I'm using to guide and do everything that I can in the present. One of the most powerful analogies that I can think of when it comes to respecting and trusting the process would be if you were ever tasked with building a brick wall. Hopefully, I'm not, because I'm not very handy. I'm not very good with tools. I'm not very good for fixing things or building stuff. My parents, and this still irritates me. I should have moved to the next play, but for my 18th birthday, my parents bought me a tool set. I've opened it twice in the last 20 plus years. When something in my apartment breaks, I either hire someone to come fix it or I just understand it's going to be broken forever. Not very good at fixing stuff. However, if any one of you tasked me with building a brick wall, I've got confidence that I could do that. And the only reason I have confidence, despite my lack of handyman skills, is because I know how to dial in and trust the process. I'm capable of picking up one brick and setting it exactly where it needs to go. Then I'm capable of picking up another brick and setting it exactly where it needs to go. If I lay every single brick with care and precision, guess what happens? The wall takes care of itself. I don't have to worry about the wall. I don't have to focus on how long is it going to be? How tall is it going to be? Is it going to be part of the monument center? I don't have to worry about any of that. All I have to worry about is laying each and every brick with care and precision. When you learn to focus on the process, as they say in sport, the scoreboard will take care of itself. So you got to get crystal clear on what winning looks like, on what excellence looks like, on what your wall or your scoreboard looks like, and then you develop a daily process that will help you inch closer to that. The best group that I've ever seen execute this is the Men's Basketball Program at Queens University in Charlotte, North Carolina. They're one of the top division two men's basketball programs in the United States, and their head coach Bart Lundy has figured out that there are four key statistics, four key pieces of data analytics that heavily influence whether they win a game. Now, I've already said there's a tremendous amount of synergy and overlap between the game of basketball and life. There are a couple of inherent differences. One of the biggest differences, but if you have not read Simon Sinek's book, The Infinite Game, add that to your reading list. Incredibly impactful. Simon Sinek has pointed out that a game like basketball is what's called a finite game. We have unanimously around the globe have agreed to the fact that the team with the most points on the scoreboard at the end of the game when the final buzzer goes off, the team with the most points is declared the winner. There's no argument to that. Life and business is an infinite game. It's evergreen. There's not really a start and stop, you know, outside of birth and death, but let's not focus on that at the moment. Because if I asked once again, if I conducted an interview with each and every one of you individually, and I ask you, what does winning look like in life? Or what does excellence look like in life? Yeah, I'm sure I would hear some common threads, but I'd get a lot of variants. There'd be a lot of differences. All of you that are working professionals, if I were to ask you, what does winning look like in business? I would see different answers. Even if I asked and interviewed everyone at your company, what does winning look like? There's a very good chance that I would hear some different answers. So the first thing we have to do is you guys have to get clarity on what that winning looks like. But back to Coach Lundy at Queens University, he's figured out there's four key analytics. For those of you that follow basketball, this will be rather obvious. For those of you that don't, hopefully I can connect the dots for you. Number one, turnover differential. If we can have more possessions than our opponent, it gives us a better chance to win. Number two, offensive rebound differential. If we can take more shots than our opponent by rebounding our own miss, it gives us a better chance to win. Three is free throws attempted. The free throw is the highest percentage shot per possession in the game of basketball. If we can take more of those than our opponents, it gives us a better chance to win. And four are three pointers attempted. Three pointer is a massive weapon in college basketball. And if we can take more clean looks from three than our opponent, it gives us a better chance to win. When Queens University comes out on top in those four statistical categories, they win 97% of their games. I'm gonna say that again because I don't think y'all think that's as cool as I do. When they come out on top in those four statistical categories, they win 97% of their games. Okay, that's a little better. A little obligatory tepid clap, but okay, we're getting closer. I was no math major and I'm certainly not a statistics genius, but I certainly know that winning at a 97% rate means you are almost unbeatable. Almost unbeatable. So now I'm gonna ask you lovely folks a few more rhetorical questions. What do you think Coach Lundy and his staff talk about, remind, and emphasize before every workout, every practice, every film session, and before every game? Those four things. What do you think Coach Lundy and his staff use to design every practice plan, every workout program, every film breakdown, and every game plan? Those four things. See Coach Lundy doesn't talk about winning, he doesn't talk about trophies and he doesn't talk about banners, you know why? If they do those four things, the winning, the trophies, and the banners take care of themselves. That is the wall, that is the scoreboard, they don't have to worry about it. They put their focus on what they need to do in order to get there. So here's another powerful homework assignment, take away if you will, and I really hope you guys do this. You can do this individually, but I would recommend highly that you do this with the businesses and the organizations and the companies you work with. You guys all need to get on the same page and figure out what does winning look like? What is our North Star? And then what are the measurable analytics or data points or things that we can control that will increase the chance that we will reach that? See we can't be ambiguous about it. If everybody on your team thinks that the North Star is something different and everybody's rowing in a slightly different direction, then we have dysfunction. Get crystal clear on what success looks like, what winning looks like, and I know I like to use the term winning because I come from a sports background. If that word has a different connotation for you, all you need to do is figure out what is my North Star and what are the things I need to do to get there and what is our collective North Star and what are the things that we need to do to get there. And when I look at those three pillars of self-awareness, habits, mindset, and focus, the epitome of those traits is my all-time favorite basketball player, Steve Nash. He's currently the head coach of the Brooklyn Nets who I know just had an early exit in the playoffs, but Steve Nash, for those that don't follow Hoops, is a Hall of Fame caliber point guard in his own right. And back in the early 2000s, Steve Nash won back-to-back MVP titles which puts him in very rare company in the NBA. And in the first year that he won the MVP, he actually only led the NBA in two statistical categories. The first was assists. It means he liked to share the sugar. He liked to pass the pill. He liked to get his teammates involved, certainly the sign of a great leader and a great teammate. But the other stat that Steve Nash led the NBA in were physical touches. I'm actually talking about high fives, fist bumps, and pats on the backside. How could I possibly know that Steve Nash led the NBA in high fives, fist bumps, and pats on the backside? Well, it just so happens there was a research team from UC Berkeley who was conducting an official study because they wanted to measure if showing signs of physical enthusiasm actually led to more wins on the court. So they hired a research team to watch every minute of every NBA game and make a tally mark every time a player gave a high five, a fist bump, or a pat on the backside. The Phoenix Suns who Steve Nash played for at the time were so enamored that they hired a full-time intern to count just for Steve Nash. Now just by show of hands, how many of you have ever had a crappy entry-level job before? Can you imagine if that was your first job? Yeah, you see this guy right here? Every time he touches one of these big, tall, sweaty guys if you could make a tally mark. In the very first game that the intern counted for Steve Nash, he delivered 239 high fives, fist bumps, and pats on the backside. In one regulation NBA game, he delivered 239 high fives, fist bumps, and pats on the backside. He was a furnace of human connection. Now in the game of basketball where physicality is appropriate, it has been physiologically proven. You can transfer energy to another human being through physical touch. You can indeed raise someone's game with a well-placed high-five, a fist bump, or a pat on the backside. Now just to make sure we're crystal clear, and I'm both CDC and HR compliant, I'm not telling you to pat your customers on the backside as they leave your office. If you do, that's your choice. Here's what I am asking you to do. Figure out other ways that you can make the exact same emotional deposit. What are the same ways that you can give someone a boost or transfer energy outside of physical touch? What are the things that you can do to make deposits to your family, to your colleagues, your coworkers, to your customers, your clients, and those that you serve? What are the ways that you can make those types of deposits? Here's another challenge that I have for you all. And if you're willing to do this, I mean, I'm telling you, it is a game changer, not just in your personal lives, but if you can get your team, your organization, your business to buy into this, I have seen it radically change cultures. And it's an exercise called 10 assists. Here's my challenge to each and every one of you. Every single morning when you wake up, put 10 rubber bands on your left wrist. Or if you have more of a fashion sense and you wanna put some nice bracelets, but put 10 of them on your left wrist. Every time you give an assist to someone in your family, someone on your team, or one of your customers or clients, you're gonna move one rubber band from your left wrist to your right wrist. And an assist is anything you do that is unexpected and is above and beyond what you are supposed to do, what you are expected to do, what people think you should do, that adds value to someone else's life. Something that makes them smile, something that makes them go, wow, didn't see that coming. And every time you take one of those, a given assist, you take one rubber band off of your left wrist and you put it on your right wrist. Here's the rub. You can't go to sleep at night until all 10 rubber bands are on your right wrist. Or if you're doing this purely professionally, you can't leave the office at night or close your laptop for the night until all 10 rubber bands are on your right wrist. Till you know for a fact, you have done nothing short of 10 tangible things to add value, unexpected value to somebody else's life. Now, because you all have chosen to be at day of excellence, you are the Kobe Bryant's of what you do, I'm willing to bet that most of you in this room have already dished out 10 assists before the morning coffee break. But do you have the ability to influence and impact those around you to get them to do the same thing? And then just start doing the math. You have 100 people in your organization and all of them with intention and purpose are going to go out of their way to give assists and to pour value into others on a daily basis, it will radically change your culture and it'll change your business. So now let's talk about the three pillars of team awareness. Role clarity, accountability, and communication. Role clarity. Everyone on your team needs to know their role, needs to embrace their role, and needs to aim to star in their role to the best of their ability, no matter what that role is. Many times in teams, especially larger teams and organizations, some people have roles that aren't their preference. They don't absolutely love their role, they'd prefer it be something different. But if you can get those folks to buy in and still make a commitment to that role because that's what the team needs from them, then you've created a really special environment. Everyone else on the team needs to value, respect, and appreciate everybody else's role. Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the book, The Five Love Languages. How many people have read that book? Add that to your reading list, The Five Love Languages. I read it two years after I got divorced. Oh, so close, so close! Without being a spoiler alert, the book basically says that everybody likes to feel love and appreciation in a different way and you need to learn how to speak the other person's language. But he also did a study, and this is actually in the workforce in the US, that found that 70% of the US workforce feels underappreciated. 64% will leave because of it. 70%, seven out of 10 people feel underappreciated. I don't know about you guys, I feel like that's completely unacceptable. So we have to go out of our way to make sure we are praising, acknowledging, and pouring into those on our team for fulfilling their role. Everybody's goal is to make a maximum contribution. So that's gonna be our role clarity. Now let's talk about accountability. Make sure everyone on your team, and for those of you with children, make sure your children understand, this is one of the most important things I share with my children, is that holding someone accountable is something you do for them. It's not something you do to them. Holding someone accountable is one of the best gifts that you can give them. Because you're basically saying, I care about you and I care about us so much that I'm gonna hold you to the highest standard of excellence. I think you're better than what you're showing me right now and because I care about you and because I care about us, I'm not gonna let you slide with doing less than your best. I'm going to hold you accountable. It is the best gift that you can give another human being. Now as human beings, most people walking the earth when you hold them to a high level of accountability will immediately default to that trilogy of behaviors that I shared with you earlier. Blaming, complaining, and making excuses. When you hold someone to a standard and you call them out for not doing the best job they were capable of, it is inherent they are most likely going to blame, complain, and make an excuse. They're gonna blame someone else for why it didn't go well. They're gonna make an excuse for why it didn't go well. And you better believe that the moment you walk out of that room, they're going to complain about you to everybody else. So know that going into it. Know that when you're going to hold a human being accountable, whether it's your child or whether it's someone you work with, lead with empathy and lead with compassion. Lead with some patience. Just know that that's most likely gonna be their knee-dirk reaction and give them some grace. But see if you can have the influence and impact to get them to work through that trilogy of behaviors much quicker. So they come out on the other side and realize that what you did was a gift and they actually say thank you for holding me accountable. But before we hold someone accountable, we have to be crystal clear on the standard of excellence and the expectations to which we're holding them accountable too. You cannot hold someone accountable to something they're oblivious to. You can't hold someone accountable to something they're unaware of. So going back to the North Star, we have to be the ones to crystallize that. As you saw from my rather vain intro video, I've got three children. They were a little bit younger when we made that video. I have 12-year-old twin sons and a 10-year-old daughter. And I'm very amicably divorced. I have my kids half the time. And the other day my children came over for dinner. And at the end of dinner, I asked my 12-year-old son, Luke, to please clean the table. After he rolled his eyes, he grabbed the plates, the glasses and the utensils. He ran over, he threw them in the sink and he went in his room and started playing Fortnite on his iPad. I found myself momentarily frustrated. I was raised slightly differently. That is not how I define cleaning the table. I define cleaning the table as picking up the plates and the utensils and the glasses, coming over to the sink, taking the pot scrubber, rinsing them off, lining them up neatly in the dishwasher, taking a Clorox wipe, wiping the table down. And if I knock any crumbs on the ground, I sweep them up. That's how I define cleaning the table. But before I could get upset at Luke, I realized the failure in communication was mine. I did not clearly define or articulate what I meant by cleaning the table. I left it ambiguous. I left it up to Luke. How many of you have, know, or were once a 12-year-old? Can we agree that through the lens my son looks through, that's probably a pretty accurate definition of cleaning the table? He actually did what he thought I asked him to do. So I had no right to be upset at him. And that was on me. So being the parent that I am, I got all three kids out. We came over to the table. I gave them a one-on-one tutorial on exactly what it means to clean a table. Never been a problem since. Because they know now when I say clean the table, they know exactly what is expected of them. There's no ambiguity, so we have to make sure that we do that exact same thing. If you're gonna hold someone in your family or on your team accountable, they have to know the standard of excellence at which you expect. But here's the beautiful thing. Once that has been clarified, every single behavior, either someone in your family or someone on your team exhibits, can be put into one of two buckets. And I know that there's a ton of gray area in this world, but anytime you can simplify something and make it binary, I think it actually makes life easier. Every single thing someone on your team says or someone on your team does, can be put neatly into one of two buckets. It's either something you accept or it's something you need to correct. There is no gray area. Professionally speaking, if one of your colleagues or coworkers says something or does something that is in alignment with your organizational core values and your mission and your vision that is something you accept, so you need to acknowledge it and you need to praise it. That which gets praised gets repeated. If someone on your team says something or does something that is not in alignment with your organizational core values, your mission or your vision, you need to care enough to hold them accountable and coach them to a higher level of performance. You need to let them know, this is not how we do things around here, but I've got your back. So that's from an accountability standpoint. And the third pillar of team awareness will be communication. And just know that you are always communicating something. Even when you're not speaking, you're communicating. Whether you realize it or not, right now every single one of you is communicating a message to me. It's based on your posture, your facial expressions, your body language, whether or not you choose to smile, whether or not you choose to nod. You guys are a bit off the hook. I can't quite see what you guys are doing up there. Somebody up there can be giving me the finger for all I know, but generally speaking down here, I've got a pretty good feel for what you're communicating. But even deeper than that, there are unconscious messages that we transmit, that go beneath the words that we say and even the body language and posture and facial expressions we have. Best example I can think of. You've got a work colleague. You're working on a project and you need some help. You ask someone on your team for help. You delegate something to someone on your team. What's the unconscious message that you send to someone on your team when you delegate something of importance and ask for help? I hear the murmurs. I trust you. I believe in you and I know you're good enough to get this done. That's why I'm asking you to do it. That unconscious message will strengthen your connection with that person. What happens if, and this is purely hypothetical. I know this is not anybody in this room. You delegate something and then you micromanage them. You either literally or figuratively stand over their shoulder, breathing down their neck, making sure they cross every T and they dot every I. What is the unconscious message you're giving that person then? Yeah, the exact opposite. I don't trust you. I don't believe in you. I think you're such a moron. There's no way you can get this done. Now, I know that's not what you mean, but it's not what you say. It's what they hear. And when you micromanage someone to that degree, you're actually eroding the connection with that person. It's like pulling the red thread out of the sweater. So we just have to remember that little things make a huge difference when it comes to communication, when it comes to accountability and roll clarity. Now, back in 2008, I was working as the performance coach at Montrose Christian, a small school right outside of Washington, DC. And it's where Kevin Durant graduated from. And I was getting ready for what I thought was just going to be a normal day of practice, getting dressed in the locker room. And I walked in the doors of our tiny gym and I found myself standing 10 feet away from my idol. Completely unexpected, 10 feet away from my hero. I thought this was going to be a normal day of practice and I'm 10 feet away from the one person in the world I wanted to meet more than anyone. I referenced him earlier, Coach K, the former head basketball coach at Duke. And Coach K and I had a chance to talk for about 10 minutes before practice. And it's kind of comical now as impactful as this moment was in my life. I guess I didn't quite have the mindfulness or awareness then that I'd like to believe I have now because this was a pivotal moment in my life. I don't remember a single word that either one of us said. Not a single word. But I'll never forget how Coach K made me feel. He made me feel like I was the most important person in the room. I wasn't. The kid he was recruiting was the most important but he made me feel like I was. He had very warm body language and posture. He maintained great eye contact. He had a warm smile and a genuine curiosity where he kept asking me question after question about me and my work. He made me feel like I was the most important person in that room. Well, I was raised very old school going back to the cleaning the table. I was taught by my parents when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for you you hand write them a thank you note. So I went home that night and I hand wrote him a thank you note. Just basically said, Coach K, it was so amazing to meet you. You have no idea what it meant to me. Thank you so much for your time. Always rooting for you and Duke. Put a stamp on it. Send it off to Durham, North Carolina. And I figured that would be that. I did my part. Well, three weeks later, I go to my mailbox and I get a note back from Coach K. Now, I know you guys can't see this, but three sentences on the front of his stationery and his iconic handwriting that basically said, no, Alan, it was so lovely to meet you. You're doing a terrific job. Always rooting for Duke. I mean, always rooting for you. I guess he's rooting for Duke too, but. That would have been really weird if he wrote that on here, right? It was so nice to meet you, but I'm going to continue rooting for myself. Told that story a thousand times, never flubbed the last line. Oh, well, next play. Three sentences on the front of his stationery. How long do you think it took him to write this, even if he's a little bit slow? Maybe 60 seconds. Can we agree that over the course of our entire life, 60 seconds is a little thing? Yeah, well, this little thing had a profound impact on my life. This little thing is why I have an attitude of gratitude. Every single day I want to tell as many people as I possibly can. I appreciate you, great job, well done. This little thing, and for those of you that know me, and I know there's only a few of you in here, is why I am relentless about returning every voicemail, every email, and every text message I get. Now I realize I'm biased. You guys may disagree, and I'll find this out in about eight seconds, but it's my belief if the greatest coach in the history of all team sports can make the time to return my handwritten note, you better believe I can call you back. You better believe I can return your email or respond to your texts. So this little thing made a huge difference in my life. So don't forget that the little things you all do on a daily basis for your family, for your colleagues and coworkers, and certainly for your customers and your clients, make a huge difference. And just so you know, I only carry this around when I'm speaking. I wasn't wearing this in my shorts yesterday as I was walking around Rapid City. Just, I mean, this means a lot to me, but just wanted to make sure we're square. Before I put a big bow tie on this with one final story and then I've got one final mind-body connection exercise to see if y'all have made any improvement. If they put this final slide up, you'll see that I've got a gift for you guys. Today, with myself and all of the amazing speakers you're gonna hear from, if we do our jobs to the best of our ability, all we can do today is plant seeds. That's all we can do. We're not going to be able to change your lives or change your behavior in a 60-minute presentation. We can give you things to think about and strategies to exercise and things to put into practice, but you're the one that needs to do the work. And I'm a big believer that that work starts with self-awareness. So my gift to you, if you wanna use that QR code or if you wanna text the word aware to that number there, which my cell number there, I'm gonna give you a free mini course on self-awareness. And if you do those exercises, and it's brief by design, take you less than 30 minutes to do the whole thing, but it might help you expose some of your blind spots and don't forget what I said earlier. You will never improve something you're oblivious to. You will never fix something you're unaware of. So it all starts with self-awareness. Now, I started my presentation with the Kobe Bryant, talking about the Kobe Bryant Skills Academy. What I did not tell you all there, there was a really special college counselor as part of the camp. We did not know he was special at the time. He didn't have the physical resume or physical stature of the other players, but there was something unique about this kid. At the end of the first workout, we had never been formally introduced. He tapped on my shoulder and he said, "'Allen, will you rebound for me? "'Cause I don't leave the gym until I swish "'five free throws in a row. "'Swish five free throws in a row." For those of you that have never shot a basketball, and once again, I'm guessing that's the vast majority of you. That is a very high standard. A swish by definition is a perfect shot. It doesn't touch the rim, it doesn't touch the backboard. It gets the name from the sound it makes by going nothing but net. This young man was not gonna leave the gym until he swished five in a row. Which means he could have switched four in a row, still made the fifth one, but if it hit a little bit of the rim, he would still be mathematically perfect. He would still be five for five, but that wasn't good enough for him, he'd start over. If memory serves, it never took him longer than 12 to 15 minutes to swish five in a row. That young man was Stephen Curry of the Golden State Warriors, who will go down in history as the greatest shooter that the game has ever seen. And it's not by accident. It's not by luck. It's not because his dad played in the NBA. It's because he's willing to hold himself to unparalleled standards. That's the thought I wanna leave you with before we do our one final exercise. The standards that you set today in everything that we talked about, self-awareness and team awareness. The standards that you set today will determine who and where you'll be tomorrow. Now, once again, put your pens down. This is how we're gonna end. This one's a little bit different, don't worry. I'm not trying this thing again. Good, gracious. All you guys have to do is clap. I know you're capable of this. My left palm is facing up. When my right palm crosses over my left palm, I want you guys to clap. But here's the challenge. I want you to clap in unison. I don't wanna hear 752 slightly different claps. I wanna hear 1,601 clap. Let's make all of Rapid City hear us. Basic instructions, basic task. All right, here we go. This is how I'm ending and then I'm outta here. I'll go slow just in case some of you are a little slow. Okay, basic instructions, basic task. Now, I live right outside of Washington, D.C. There was no way I would fly all the way to Rapid City, which just so you guys know that live here is a little bit difficult to get to. I would never come all of this way and leave you hanging like that. I believe in you, I care about you, and I know you can do this. I'm gonna give you one final try and then I'm outta here. And then I certainly hope to have an opportunity to meet as many of you as I can. I'll be around all day. I've got a booth set up in the back, but I cannot wait. And this is why I'm so thankful I was the first speaker. I get to take a deep breath and listen to the three following speakers and I'll be right there with you taking notes. Can't wait, but I'm around all day if I could do anything to serve you. All right, you guys ready? Let's end on a high note. I believe in you, I care about you, and I know you can do it. Get those hands ready, I got you. Ready? As you can see, as you can see, you still have some work to do, so do it. Thank you guys so much. Thank you.