 When the narcissist knows you've figured them out when they know that you've figured out what they are trying to do When they know that you've figured out their lives and manipulations When the narcissist is hurting you When the narcissist is blaming you and playing the victim When they are lying to you It makes you want to find evidence that they are lying to you It makes you want to prove them wrong It makes you chase after the validation You're running on this hamster wheel Just trying to get them to understand Just trying to get them to see things in the way that you do The problem is They already understand And they know exactly what they are doing to you They know the effects of their behavior is having on you That's exactly why they are doing it And they are also fully aware that they are not the victims in this situation Which is why when you confront them They will deny any wrongdoing They will act as though they never did anything to you But they will make you focus on anything that you might have done wrong Whether real or imagined They do this because deep down they know that they were the problem They remember everything they did to you They remember how they provoked you to react in the ways that you did They are very manipulative people And they will say anything to get a reaction out of you They love your emotional reactions Because it's something that they can't experience They are very cold-hearted people of a very low consciousness and awareness They're barely even alive So they provoke you to react to them Because your reactions make them feel alive And that is why they withhold information That is why they lie to you That is why they want to keep you running on that hamster wheel Trying to prove yourself to them Trying to get their validation Because it reflects something back to them For a moment it makes them feel alive But they also see your love as a weakness They see it as something to exploit or take advantage of But they are also deeply envious and jealous That you can experience those emotions Narcissists don't know how to love As you can tell by how they have treated you They lack effective empathy They cannot feel what you are feeling They are numb to any real emotions They only feel for themselves But they do have cognitive empathy Which helps them to put themselves in your place That's what gives them narcissistic supply When they know that they are hurting you At every tactic they use Whether it's name calling or triangulation Is something that they have learned from someone else It's something that they have experienced in their childhood So they know exactly how it feels And they know exactly how it's going to affect you But everything they do All of these horrible things they've done to you It is all the effect of a lack of love The narcissist does not feel loved Because as I said earlier They are numb to any real emotions They cannot feel your love for them They have been so hurt and damaged by past weeks of experiences in their childhood That they have become disordered And the disorder has been programmed to block and deny love You may even find that the more you try to love them The more they hate you Because it just reminds them that it's something they don't get to experience For them to experience love They would have to choose love over their false self And that's just something a narcissist is never going to do The false self gets them supply It gets them attention and admiration And they don't even believe that they deserve to be loved After everything that they have experienced They believe that someone like that is not worthy of love So they stick the superficial things like their physical appearance or achievements Even though these are only components of their false self And have nothing to do with who they actually are They don't want anything to do with themselves And they don't want anything to do with anyone Who wants something to do with who they really are So once you've managed to get inside the psyche of the narcissist Once you've managed to understand what makes them tick And why they are the way that they are Once you've seen them in their worst moments They're not going to want anything to do with you after that Because now you've figured them out Now you know what they're really about The narcissist wants to be around people Who don't know what they're really about People who just validate their false self Because even though their false self isn't real The narcissist believes that it is lovable The narcissist believes that it is worth something So that's all that really matters to them And while it's easy for someone to say this You can even observe it for yourself Ask the narcissist about who they were when they were younger More often than not They will not talk about their younger self in a positive way They will not approve of the person that they used to be Because that was their true self They abandoned who they really are To create the person that you see today And any time that you start referring to that person Or what you see when their mask slips It just makes them hate you even more Because they do not want to be associated with that They want you to validate their false self But the problem is Once you've seen who they really are You can no longer validate their false self You can try giving them a compliment But it won't mean anything to them Because they know that you know who they really are They know that you've figured them out They know that you know That their false self isn't real But even if you did believe in their false self It wouldn't matter because every supplier has an expiry date After a certain amount of time You can no longer give them positive supply You can no longer make them feel good about themselves By admiring them or giving them compliments And that is why it is inevitable That every relationship with a narcissist Will always move to the devaluation phase Where they devalue and degrade you They make you feel like you ain't shit Because that's another way for them to get supply And once your compliments have lost their potency That's the only thing that's going to make them feel alive When the narcissist knows that you've figured them out When they know that you've figured out their lies You've figured out their manipulations The only reason why anyone would try to figure this out Is because they're hoping that it's going to solve something But the narcissist is a puzzle that can never be solved It's like someone gave you a puzzle where the piece is missing You can't do anything with that And the more you try to figure things out It's not going to change anything It's not going to make them happy It's not going to make them realise that you're a good person Who is just trying to help them They are never going to come to that conclusion If anything They are just going to see it as though you are trying to manipulate them The more you try to figure them out You're only going to make them more angry You're only going to make them distance themselves even more from you Once you've figured a narcissist out That is what triggers the discard That is what makes them want nothing to do with you Thank you for watching I hope this video wears out with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos If you were likely to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching inquiries You can email me at nartovercoaching at gmail.com Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon