 My name is Jimmy his name is Jake and this is the weekly dumb Jake. How do you do James Zach? I'm doing well. What a weekend. We had my body is turning on itself like yours did as well Yeah, I was fought you. I had a full day of being blind on Saturday cuts on my eyes Diagnosis glasses for the next two to three weeks a lot of serious topics on today's weekly dumb I don't think there's a single joke on this episode. This is just strictly news and let's start off with the sports Jake, what do you got James? This is something that surprised everyone. It looks like the Oakland A's might move. No way to Las Las Vegas the four-win Oakland A's who have a negative 103 run differential because they are tanking on purpose and Actively are not trying to have fans come to their games the Oakland A's who play in a coliseum where the away Announcers cannot use the away announcers booth because a possum currently has taken over won the war and he's taken over Or she the Oakland A's who play in the coliseum who's away dugout routinely Backs up with shitwater because the septic tank floods poop poop poops games cancelled away teams dugouts fold with shit John Fisher all-time bad guy for Oakland I don't think any A's fans are going to follow Wow the Oakland team to Las Vegas because I have friends there it is like Hatred I don't think so baseball fans are proud and they watch talking baseball You didn't think we had that in us. Did you Zach the next serious topic of the show raw Jim? You were telling me about this this almost a breakdown. It's a play on kind of the breakdowns This is a video of a guy getting called up to the majors Jake for the Pirates your first place Pittsburgh Pirates drew Maggie 13-year minor league veteran think about the name three two one five and a half Okay, it's just above it's above it for me. Yeah, it's better than Andrew Maggie, right Andy Maggie. That's bad Yeah, I like it just bumped up to a six point six for me Maggie You're going up and everyone there's like a 13 years. Oh my god this guy and they clap and he's kind of doing is he gonna break down and cry He doesn't have a shirt on he's probably thinking I wish I had a shirt on your filming this and you hear someone goes I'm like, oh man, it's tough to put the guy in the spot and then his speech was Holy fuck Like a party scene and he won me over when the light bulb goes off because I think he almost thinks it's a prank at first Yeah, he's been playing bad this year, too. Come on. Be cool. I'm sorry That once it goes off and he's like I could give a shit. Yeah See you loser fucking go and then he gets a big a nice hug from Sheltie And we like big hugs on this show and I did like some of what the coach was saying I just thought he made it too much about himself He said, you know some guys get one day and your your goal your chance is to make it one plus I like that because that's kind of like over under betting draft Kings. They're sponsoring this show So I just worked that tie-in. Thanks draft Kings. Let's kick it back to the sports on this serious episode of the weekly smart James your Japan who won the WBC? They're crying baby sumo festival. You know this happened annually It's deep rooted in Japan's history. Basically, they have a 64 baby tournament and the baby who cries the loudest ones We can tell a baby's health by listening to the way they cry. You're right You're in the baby game. This is very easy to make a baby cry. Yeah, I don't know if I like this I don't it seems like we have other methods to see If the babies are healthy at this point I think they got to be under six months and that's okay because at that point They're just potatoes and you just lock in for a day and say I'm gonna make 64 babies cry today. Oh It's a tough day. You gotta have some demons speaking of demons The not sports today is a doozy. We probably didn't use in the thumbnail or headline But it's the top and Zach was watching this at his desk and we were like wait We could maybe use this for the week. Have you seen this? This is cool. Well, I didn't like that This is messed up parents are upset over a whipped cream licking event at Kennewick Middle School And I am also upset over this event because I'm gonna show you this It's a pep rally at the middle school and they're doing teachers versus students relay race and one step of the relay race is licking lines of whipped cream off of a pane of glass Opposite sides So you're just tongue swiping this glass at the same time and this kid right here and that teacher as far as that kid's Concerned they're making out. Yeah, and he's a roust in middle school You're looking at a person directly out of you basically nothing between your tongues I mean this this teacher also a little suspect. I hate to say it She's like am I I'm gonna I'm done and then she's like no never mind And she goes back for three more synchronized Hung licks with this kid. Jake if there was a pane of glass here even as a gag We would do it because we're too consenting adults But I think we'd feel like that was that was intimate No, I think you'd love it like if we did that and we could freak people out in the office You would love that that's kind of your lane of humor if we made like co-workers do it Even adults that's fucked up. I still think you'd like it a little bit There was one line where the teacher goes what's so wrong with what's so wrong with the relay race And it's like well, yeah, that's pretty strong man argument, dude Gross one of the teachers went on like a Caribbean vacation and this was like a couple's game at the resort Yeah, this is a hedonism event. They were like, oh, this will be great. This is hilarious You put the kids in compromised positions you lick them The school did not find the assembly and appropriate activity and that's good The activity does not have district approval. It will never be repeated in the future said superintendent Dr. Tracy Pierce one two three Seven Tracy with an eye. Yeah, and the investigation I gave you a number? I said four the investigation found the intent of the activity was innocent and not ill intended Someone had ill intent. Sorry for such a serious episode Did that kid and that teacher made out? I don't know It's the employee of the week It's the employee of the week Employee bragging rights for this week. This is the biggest crop of employees. Yeah the week I'm ever gonna give out. I mean if I'm them. I'm almost bummed out. Yeah Yeah, it's going to the entire ball in play warehouse games crew who helped us put on a tournament this weekend that will come out in June because now the editors have to edit it But yeah, look at that crew bunch of hard-working people a lot of obstacles thrown their way and they all persevered and overcome a lot of obstacles I went blind a lot of obstacles All Saturday That was a weekly time Today's episode was brought to you by DraftKings Sportsbook Baseball season is in full swing and whether you're rooting for the home team or betting on your favorite player DraftKings Sportsbook has got you covered for all this season's action right now new customers can place a $5 pre-game money line Bet and get $150 in bonus bets if your team wins So join the big league action now on DraftKings Sportsbook download the app and sign up with code Dumb bet just $5 in any pre-game money line and get $150 in bonus bets if your team wins only at DraftKings Sportsbook with promo code Dumb minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply see show notes for details Raw you want me to say that into the mic again? Zack raw raw Maybe you sneak those in all throughout the episode like word of the day raw raw raw. I'm so raw wrong good. I love raw