 Personal notice, change is my stock and trade. If the job's too tough for you to handle, you've got a job for me, George Valentine. Write full details. Let George do it. Tonight's story, Christmas Letter, a transcribed adventure of George Valentine. Oh, you know, darling, we're much better than we were last year. Yeah, and someday we may actually become mediocre. Even more of those silver thinning jigs, this branch looks kind of going. Oh, wait a minute. Yes, here we are. Ah, good. That's better. Any time you're ready for the big star, let me know. Hey, those letters you picked up in the office this afternoon. No, George. Well, I was just wondering if there could have been anything important on them. We decided not to open any mail until after Christmas, and so I'm not. I was just wondering. Of course I did wonder about the one from Japan. What? The return address for his private first class, Dan Ferris, and his number was... Oh, Angel, surely someone writing to me all the way from Japan can't possibly get me out of your apartment on Christmas Eve. Well... And a letter from a soldier. All right. Here it is. Let's see. Dear Mr. Valentine, I remember reading your ad in the paper when I was still back home and knowing you're an XGI. I think you might want to help me because I sure do have a job that's too tough to handle. In fact, from this distance it's impossible. So here's something I would like you to do for me on Christmas Eve. Oh, no, no, don't read any further, George. Enclosed, find $20. It's to cover the expenses of taking out the most beautiful girl in the world. What's that? Buying her an eggnog or two, listening to some Christmas carols, you get the idea. Anyway, her name is Lucy Rand, and she lives at... Dan, please, don't read any further. The enclosed address. Will you be doing me a big favor if you'll be my proxy this Christmas Eve and write me all about it? Very truly yours, Dan. Red Ferris. Well... Proxy. Well, a boy who's obviously pretty lonely. But I thought we were going to spend... On Christmas Eve. Come on. Stop talking so much. Oh, hey, wait a minute. Not you, me. Red said I should take out his... We're going. Christmas spirit is fine, up to a point. But that does not include a date with the most beautiful girl in the world. The apartment house is down the block. You know, George, about that letter. I have a notion our friend Red is really slightly suspicious about his girlfriend's... Well, boyfriend. Such an idea has been known to occur to guys who are 6,000 miles away from home. Well, the girl is probably set to spend this evening with her family, and all we'll really do is dismiss... Oh, um... Excuse me, folks. I'm sorry to bother you, but I... Well, that is we, the Mrs. and I, have had it pretty tough this year. And she's a wonderful cook. Like right here, Mrs. What's that? It's a Christmas pudding. Yes, the Mrs. makes the best in the world. Oh, look, I'm afraid we're on a diet. But if this'll help... Oh, no, no, no, sir. This is a very fine pudding, and for only $2. George, I guess dinner tomorrow we could. Yeah, well, I suppose so. Wait a minute. Here. George, he's running away! Pudding and all. Hey, wait, yo! Okay, wise guy! Let's go with me! Now, hand me back that money. And this wonderful Christmas pudding your wife made. Give, give! I said give! Is that the pudding? Well, it's a brick, man. It's a plain ordinary brick wrapped in Christmas paint. Why, you crooked little... I have no wife. I have nothing. And I don't care if they call the cops and they'll put me in jail. At least I get a good meal there and they give turkey and trimmings and Christmas. So, put me in jail and let's go ahead and I dare you to put me... Oh, never mind, never mind. Keep the money and keep the brick. But you go on with this fancy shuffle and you'll end up in jail all right. Oh, my dear, thank you, Mr. Thanks a lot. And Merry Christmas. Yeah. Oh, Bruxy, let's get going and play Cupid so we can get back to that tree. Thanks very much, Mr. Valentine, but I already have a date for this evening. So you said. This boy, Red, he has no hold on me, you know. Not at all, Miss Bru. Well, the only thing we know, Lucy, is what he wrote us in that letter. I don't even know why I started writing to him. One of those silly things. A friend of a friend of a friend of mine is engaged to a boy in Red's outfit and she said boys need cheering up. So I wrote to him. He's nice and sounds like fun, but that's all. Well, Red must have taken some things for granted, I guess. Well, he'll just have to get over it. After all, I didn't make him think I cared. I see. And as for tonight, I'm perfectly all right. I'm in good hands. Walter Denning is a perfect gentleman. Walter Denning? You make it sound like a naughty word. Do you know him, George? Slightly. He's in the neighborhood. All handsome boys, sharp with a buck. Well, he's not. Wolf by avocation and vocation and inclination. Stop that. All-time impresario. How's his big girly act coming along? Denning's delectables, isn't it, playing at the blue grotto? He's doing very well, thank you. I've had a very busy day. Selling in a department store on the day before Christmas is wonderful for a girl's feet. So if you don't mind me... Leave this record here on the controller. It's nothing. The label says it's made at the YMCA Tokyo, Japan. Something red sent you? Yes, it came today. A Christmas card, sort of. You can hear it if you want. There's nothing too personal in it. I'll do it, George. Hello, Lucy. I don't really know what to say into this thing. I guess pretty soon it's going to be Christmas. But here it isn't very much. So it only gets to do a lot of thinking and hoping. When I do that, I keep thinking mostly of the things you wrote me in your letters. I really don't even know what you look like, but I can imagine. What I imagine is, well, when you listen to some Christmas music or see a guy in a funny red suit ringing a little bell in the street, I hope you'll think of me. Well, I'm running out of time, and so... I guess he overran his time. Yeah. Well, come on, Angel. Lucy, I didn't mean to shoot my mouth off about this dining guy. I know. That's what people may think of him, but he's in love with me. He's sincerely in love with me. Are you sure, Lucy? Wait a minute. Here. Take a look at this. That gives me a break. Walter gave it to me a week ago. I noticed you're not wearing it. Well, I told him I wasn't quite sure of how I felt. He wanted me to take the ring and wait, so I'm giving him my answer tonight. And? Well, he's waiting for a divorce, so he isn't free to marry me yet, but he will be in a month or so. He's taking his troop on a road tour the day after tomorrow, and he wants to give me a job and let me go along. He says he can make a dancer out of me and then we can be together in the meantime. Um, yeah. It's a beautiful diamond. Yes, isn't it? Walter really has been sweet to me. Honest with me. Do you understand? Sure. Thanks a lot for taking the trouble to come here on Christmas Eve, but really I'm quite all right and there's nothing to be done about red. Good luck, Lucy. Thanks. Goodbye. Hi there, Denny. What? Oh. Now watch this. Never would pass up a free drink. Say, how about having a drink with us? Valentine, isn't it? Yeah, that's right. Oh, and this is Miss Brooks, my assistant. Miss Brooks? Well, how charming. I want you to join us at the bar. Only if you'll be my guests. I never knew Valentine had such a beautiful associate. Well, thank you. Yes, sir. Perhaps someday I might give you a call and we could have a talk. Well, that would be nice. Say, how are you doing with the horses lately, Walter? Oh, I haven't been playing the horses. Give them up. I see. A beautiful girl like you, Miss Brooks, should be able to wield a great power over the life of any man. I should? Any man who isn't absolutely blind. Your line is still pretty smooth, Brandon. Blind? Oh, no. It says that I guess I'm sentimental. I'd like to play Cupid. Cupid? Yes, you see, I'm in love. Practically engaged to a lovely girl. Oh, really? Yes, you don't know her, but she's... Oh, she's wonderful. Lucy. Isn't that a lovely name? Yes, indeed. So I want everyone to be in love and happy. Now, tell me, Miss Brooks, doesn't this guy Valentine ever notice you? All right, now what do we have to drink? Well, I think we'll skip it, if you don't mind, Miss Brooks. No. But I thought we'd drink. All right, as a matter of fact, I was leaving to see Lucy. Did you want to speak to me about anything? No, I guess not. So long. Goodbye, and Merry Christmas. So you owe it to Red to prove to yourself Walter Denning is still in love. Oh, well, guys like that don't change. Not even when they fall in love. He's plenty pinching you, so he wants to buy us a drink. I'm hard to convince. He gambles and he's a wolf, and no pretty girl is safe with him. So he wants to play Cupid for another night. All right, okay, okay, okay, I heard him. George, I know it's tough on Red, and maybe you don't like the idea. But I think we just have to forget all this. Yeah, I guess so. Now, let's go back to my place and finish decorating the tree, huh? Lights are all set. Wait a minute, I'll turn them on. All right, say beautiful. Yeah, all right. Darling. Christmas Eve. Ah, frankly, I'm glad all the excitement is over. Ah, yes, so am I. I keep quiet and they'll go away. Yes, officer. Valentine, you're named George Valentine. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Won't you come in? What is it, George? Just a minute, folks. I hate to do this on Christmas Eve. The tree looks real pretty in there, too. There's a warrant out for your arrest, Mr. Valentine. Arrest? There must be some mistake. What for? Now, take it easy. Now, should I know what for? There's a warrant, all right? Sworn out by somebody named Lucy Rand. Is that all you're going to keep on saying, Lucy? Well, I feel so terrible about this. Well, that's a variation, at least. Well, why on earth would I steal your engagement ring? But don't you see, I didn't know who you were. Not really. I thought cutting here with a letter from Red was just a trick, and I did show you the ring, and it was gone. Oh, now, look. Now that the police told me you're all right. Look, look, Lucy, I realize that the ring must be an expensive one, and you were upset, but I still look... No, no, it's not that. Well, you see, I'm supposed to give my answer to Walter tonight, and I... Well, I don't want to be influenced because I don't have his ring. You mean you have some doubt about what you should say to Walter? Right for our sake. Why didn't say that? Now, George, stop it. Walter then seems to be a perfectly charming man. He is. I know he is. Hearing from Red and the record he sent you, that didn't make you doubt your decision a little, did it? Oh, of all the silly... I can't face Walter and tell him his ring has been stolen. No, dear Mr. Valentine will do whatever he can, but after all, it's nothing that can be accomplished in a minute. You sure it isn't just Miss Laidlose? No, no, it isn't. After I showed you the ring, I put it down a minute, and then the phone rang. It's out in the hall, you know, and I went to answer it. Oh, the ironic part of it is it was a wrong number. And then when I came back, the ring was gone. Uh-huh. From where you were at the phone, you couldn't see who went into your room. No. So it might have been anyone here in the apartment house. Yes, but... Well, they're in my neighbor's good, respectable people, and... and it's Christmas Eve moving. Well, I... Okay, okay. I'll see what I can do. Take it easy. Oh, dear. This is probably Walter. Well, it's nothing you can do, but let him in. I suppose so. Will our friend Mr. Denning be surprised to see us here? Lucy is not really sure of her feelings toward that guy. Maybe if he finds out about the ring and acts the way I think he will. No, George, playing Cupid for red is one thing, but thank you. These are some friends of mine. Mr. Brooks and Mr. Valentine. Well, hello again. Yeah. I didn't realize you knew each other. See, let's all of us get dressed up and go out and celebrate Christmas in real style. Good idea? Well, Walter... Yeah, well, that sounds fine, but I'm afraid I won't be able to join. After all, if I'm to look for that ring of yours, Lucy... This is Valentine. Ring? What's he talking about, Lucy? George, I could ring your name. Well, I'm sorry, Lucy, but I don't think you can keep that a secret from Walter anyway. After all, it'll take days, weeks, if the ring will ever be found. Well, I'm so terribly sorry, Walter. The ring, that beautiful ring you gave me, it must have been stolen. I don't know what to say. Don't say anything, darling. But for ring, I know how much it must have cost you and I... Do you think it's really important, either of us? Well, I don't want anything in the world to make you unhappy for one minute. Who won't? You're more important to me than all the rings in the world. So, come on, snap out of it, honey. You mean that, don't you? Of course I do. Go home and dress up, darling, and pick me up later. We're going right out and celebrate our engagement with or without a ring. Why? Darling. I still wish you folks would join the party. No, thanks. Come on, Bruxy. Coming, you think? George, the way he acts is so sweet. Not a peep out of him. Any girl would melt such a sign of devotion. Yeah. I thought he'd yell like a stuck pig. Let's get out of here, go back to my apartment and finish decorating the tree. You know that's beginning to sound like a chorus of a song? Let's go back and decorate the tree. I suppose that's all we can... What is it? Look, in that corner. The neatly wrapped Christmas pudding. Somebody in the house must have bought it and threw it away. Could be, but it's still unwrapped. So maybe our little salesman came here to sell it, threw it away himself when he got something that would bring him more money than a thousand puddings. The ring. He must have stolen Lucy's ring. Uh-huh. He was headed for jail. If he isn't in jail already, maybe we can get the ring back in a hurry. And maybe if we do, it might still keep Lucy from being too grateful for Walter's understanding. George, he isn't in jail. Are you sure, Angel? I asked Lieutenant Johnson to help and he checked. It looks more and more like shorty, huh? No luck with the neighborhood pawn shop? Now they're closed. But if our attendant tells me there's one on V.C. Street that's not only open all the time, but is careful of what it buys. See you later. 119 South. That should be right down here. Uh-oh. Gonna sell a Christmas pudding in that pawn shop, friend? Remember me, shorty? Yes, I think so. Excuse me, I'm in a hurry. You wouldn't want to be impolite and leave me, would you, Buster? Let me go. You want to turn something over to me, friend? Something that you don't want to weigh on your conscience? I don't know what you're talking about! I said wait! Let's get into this door. No! I said move you! Come on now! Well, my goodness! I'm kind of going down of these. All right, it's all right, madam. My friend here had an egg not too many. Well, let's get... I don't have anything on this. Please let me go. All right. I'll still while I make sure for myself. Give me that! Come on, are you not? No doubt Santa Claus gave you this ring because you've been a good boy all year. What are you going to do with me, mister? We're going to take a walk together. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, come on. Well, you have it back now. You can just let me go. You wanted to go to jail and you're going to get your wish. But you throw the book at me with it. I just saw the door open. The ring was on the table. I'm your criminal, mister. Uh-huh. Oh, mister, it's a holiday season. So I see. People still out buying Christmas trees over there. You can be nice to a fellow. Hey, you, stop! All those trees. You like something in the silver tip? No, no, no, bussy. That price, Mac, I got some of the nicest Douglas. I said I'll see you later. Hey, look out, you're knocked down a tree. And in here it's a regular forest. Maybe through here. Or maybe... So there you are. Hey, mister, mister, please. Can't, can't, can't somebody turn that thing off? Oh gosh, Mac, I thought you'd never come out of it. Oh, it's you. Yeah, that fellow must have been hiding in the trees and he stole my wrench. Wrench? Yeah, I was fixing my truck when all this started. Had a wrench laying on the top of the cab. Yes, I didn't really expect to find it. What are you talking about? Oh, a charm circle, a lovers' vow, a maiden's dream. Hey, you ought to find yourself a doc right away. Oh, no thanks. I gotta give the police a description of a pudding salesman. But, Mr. Valentine, what makes you think that the police will catch up with him tonight? Well, of course, I'm not sure they will, but I gave him a pretty good description. Well, I'm sure the police don't need our help, Valentine. Besides, Lucy and I have a table waiting for us at the club. Anyway, it doesn't matter now, just when we get the ring back. Now that I'm sure. I am sure, Mr. Valentine. Yeah, you said that before. I'll get the tickets tomorrow, Lucy. It'll be a wonderful tour. And you'll be wonderful in the show, darling. Yeah, yeah, everything will be wonderful. You won't forget to write to Red, eh, Lucy? Oh, no. No, I won't forget. And he'll understand. I know he will. Oh, George, Mr. Heller said he'd be here in a little while. Mr. Heller? Just a friend. Now, sit down, all of you. We're going to wait for this. Just get up and I'll stop by before I lose my temper. Leave me alone. Can I receive her? No Christmas dinner. Can I tell you, officer, I didn't slug that guy. Surely. Well, it seems to me we're in luck. Well, well, well, look who's here. This is wonderful, officer. Come on, get in there, champagne. He says his name's Shep Gilson. Now, welcome home, Shep. I didn't hit you, Mr. Valentine. I just kept on running. Now, I haven't got that ring. You served as the officer, didn't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ring wasn't on it, Mr. Valentine. But he had plenty of time to stay just away somewhere. That's what probably happened. And we'll have a little talk with him down at the station house. And we'll let you know, Mr. Rand. Oh, yes, of course. Go in just a minute, officer. Eh? I'd like to talk to you and Mr. Denning a moment if I could. Out in the hall. Oh, sure. I'll leave the door open. The ladies will be all right with shorty. What's on your mind, Valentine? A few things. Yeah, things like what? Like would Shep, who's small and kind of puny, really be the one who slugged me? Well, it doesn't take much to swing a heavy wrench. Yeah, but it was lying on top of the cab of that truck. Shep would be too short even to see it up there. I don't understand. And another thing. Shep knew he was facing a long prison term. Now, would he take a chance on knocking me down to get that ring again? It's kind of giving yourself mighty short odds. What are you driving at? The fact that I felt there was something very fishy when you didn't act human, Walter. Human? Yeah, exactly. I mean, when I told you about the ring being stolen. No matter how much in love a guy is, he'd still react normally. Be shocked or angry. Anything except the perfect gentleman with a noble speech. Oh, now look here, my dear fellow. Unless there's a reason. Wait a minute, Valentine. You mean... Yeah, you followed me ever since I left, Lucy. Didn't you, Walter? This may be taking another long shot, but you don't mind if we look through your pockets, do you, handsome? I certainly do it. I'd like to see you. Oh, this is just my night, but not taking care of it, muster. Oh, wait a minute. I'll wait a minute or I'll run you in for a salt meal. You'll keep out of this, will you? Okay, Walter, okay. Can we pay some more? No! No, let's go! Stop! Right. Yeah. Walter, what's been going on out here? I'm afraid you ladies are in time just for the finish. Are you leaving us, Walter? What? What do you want to stick around? Well, I... Valentine... What does he mean? You don't mind if I keep the ring, do you? Just as a souvenir? Well, uh... Yes. Yes, of course. Walter, did somebody tell me what this is all about? That's what I want to know. Walter, please! Where are you going? I'm, uh... I'm sorry, Lucy. Goodbye. Goodbye, everybody. But, Walter! Okay, Lucy. Now, look, Mr. Heller is a jeweler, a friend of mine, an expert. I was hoping we'd have this ring to show him. Why would Walter do all that just to get his ring back? Why would he so embarrassed? Why would he...? Get the idea. Phony. That's what it is, isn't it? The ring, the talk of engagement. Walter just got caught with his real intentions showing. That's all. Phony duckling, phony proposal, phony character. I was such a fool, Mr. Valentine. Now, you'll be all right. Everything will be all right. Yeah, you ought to call it a swell Christmas present, Miss. And what about me? What am I going to do with the long wrap stand in the face? Oh, I ship. I'm surprised at you. If this ring is worth only a few dollars, you didn't commit very much of a crime, now, did you? What? Oh, hey. Yeah, sure. You might even get just what you wanted from the judge. Just long enough in jail to see you through the holidays. Free turkey, remember? Maybe it's not such a bad Christmas all around. I never made one of those records before. Oh, it's very simple. Here, you just go in one of those booths. Then you draw the curtains, and you're alone with the one who's going to hear what you have to say. No, no, I want you and Miss Brooks to hear this. Well, I really do. Any time you want to start. Dear Rand, I don't really know what to say into this thing, but, well, maybe this is kind of a sudden idea. It's almost midnight. Christmas is almost here. Anyway, what I mean is, I've always thought the Santa Claus was a pretty old fellow with white whiskers and a big stomach. He isn't at all. He's a much younger man, and he has no beard. Tomorrow, Rand, I'm going to send you a long letter. There's so much I want to say to you. And here we go again. Back to decorate the tree. You know, back in that tree lot, I've picked up the one thing we need. Little girl. Like George. Merry Christmas, everybody. This is John Heaston, and right now I'd like to introduce a friend of yours, George Valentine, but by his real name, Bob Bailey. Well, this is our fifth Christmas together with you. And once again this year, I'm looking for myself and for everyone in our cast, we'd like to wish you the nicest, happiest Christmas ever. Yes, friends, and to that, I'd like to add this message, that this be a very merry Christmas for you and yours, and that the true spirit of Christmas, peace on earth, will come to pass for all men all over the world. This is the United States Armed Forces Radio and Television Service.