 The Jack Pendy program presented by America's largest selling cigarette Lucky Strike. SING A SING A SING A SING A Singada Lucky Strike first again with tobacco men. Yes, first again with the men who really know tobacco. Independent buyers auctioneers and warehouses For a recent impartial survey shows that more of these independent tobacco experts smoke Lucky Strike regularly than the next two leading brands combined. So let this overwhelming smoking preference of the experts lead you to real deep down smoking enjoyment. Just light up a lucky, puff by puff, you'll see. LSMFT, LSMFT. Lucky strike means fine tobacco, and this fine lucky strike tobacco means a world of smoking enjoyment for you. Yes, puff by puff, pack by pack. You'll like Lucky Strike. The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Philaris, Rochester, Dennis Dane, yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, let's go out to Jack Benny's home in Beverly Hills. It's morning and Rochester is in the kitchen. Hmm, look what time it is. I better start getting Mr. Benny's breakfast ready. Now let's see. I think I'll give him some ham and waffles. He's crazy about ham and waffles. Hmm, we're out of ham. And I had the last six waffles. Let's see, what else? Oh, I know. I'll fix him a plate of bacon and eggs with french fried potatoes. Uh-oh, can't do that. I had the eggs. Come to think of it, I had the bacon and potatoes too. Well, I better take a look in the refrigerator again. Hmm, I wish the boss would buy a refrigerator with electric light in it. This candle keeps melting the ice cubes. Uh-oh, what's this in the corner? Well, the boss is lucky. Here's some orange juice, some pickled beets and milk. I'll pour the milk over the beets. If he eats without his glasses, he'll think they're strawberries and cream. That much is ready. I'll put it on this tray and take it up to him. Better take him the morning paper too. Mr. Benny's still asleep. I better wake him up easy. I'll tickle his feet. Get you, get you, go! Maybe I'll take off his socks. Let's get chilly, he doesn't take any chances. Socks, corduroy, pajamas, earmuffs, and a derby. What? It's only me, boss. You didn't have to tip your hat. Oh, oh, good morning. Good morning, Rochester. Your gang will be over rehearsal pretty soon, so you better sit up now and have your breakfast. Okay. I brought you the morning paper too. Oh, thanks. Whose picture is this on the front page? Looks familiar, but I can't seem to... Oh, it's Dewey. Must be an old picture, he's smiling. See, look at those electoral votes. Dewey carried New York, Pennsylvania, and Kansas. Thurman carried Alabama, Mississippi, and South Carolina. Mary Livingston carried the maid company. Ha, ha, ha! See, I just woke up and I'm pretty sharp. Ain't I, Rochester? If you say so, sir. Mr. Benny? Hey, just throw it over my shoulder. Oh, say, boss, you didn't even touch your breakfast. I know, Rochester, but I don't feel like eating anything, especially strawberries and cream. I had a... I had a terrible night. What's the matter? It's that echo. It's worse than ever now. I even hear it in my sleep. Boss, you must be imagining things. What do you mean imagining things? I tell you, Rochester's there and I hear it. If I don't get rid of it soon, I'll go screwing. Screwing only? Rochester. Rochester. I know, boss. You heard the echo again. Yeah, how'd you know? When you jumped in the air, your socks changed feet. Rochester, stop kidding about things like that. Oh, Jack. He missed Livingston's here already. Well, I can rehearse in my bathrobe. Coming, Mary. Hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. Am I the first one here? Yeah. You don't mind if I rehearse in my robe, do you? No, but take off that derby. You look like a plumber's friend. I'm sorry. And Jack, before the gang gets here, how about give me the $10 you owe me on the election bet? The what? Oh, yes, the election bet. It slipped my mind. I meant to give it to you before. Oh, sure, sure. It slipped your mind. Come on, give me the $10. Okay. Here it is. Thanks. Well, that takes care of the Hoover election. Now, how about this one? Now, wait a minute, Mary. You can't hold me to that when he wasn't even on the ballot. What was it, Miss Livingston? He bet that Fred Allen would carry the corn belt. Well, he should have. It's been carrying him for the last 10 years. What a program Fred Allen's got. No jokes and double indemnity. Oh, I don't know, Jack. I think that his program is great this year. Fred Allen is very funny. He is, eh? Yeah. He's improved a lot since my mother started writing for him. Oh, your mother? Your mother isn't with Bob Hope anymore, huh? Incidentally, Mary, I'm kind of excited. You know, I'm going to be a guest on Bob's program next Tuesday night. Bob's having you on his program? Why? Why? I'll tell you why. Bob Hope came to me, looked me right in the eyes and said, Jack, I want you on my show because you're the greatest comedian in the world. Bob said that. He said, you're the most versatile. The most talented. The cleverest. The wittyest. The most sophisticated, subtle swab. And the way you put over a joke proves that you're a master in the art of humor. How much is he paying you? He said, $5,000. But how can you believe a man that can lie like that? We'll come to some kind of an agreement. Yeah, he'll probably give you a bar of swan soap. I hope not. I'll have to break it in two and give my agent half. Anyway, Mary, what's that? Oh, my goodness. It's Dennis. Dennis, what's the matter? April Fool. Why, you silly kid. This is no time of year to fool people. Truman did it. Ever do that again. Gosh, I was so scared my hair stood up. It stood up. It jumped off and ran home to Max Factor. Mary, this is no, this is no time for jokes. This kid frightened me so. My blood turned cold. Holy, holy. There it goes again. Your hair? No, the echoes. Mary, it's serious. I'll tell you, it's making me a nervous wreck. You know, Mr. Benny, last year I used to hear voices all the time. I'd be in my room all alone and I'd still hear those voices. You did, kid? Well, then you must know how I feel. Didn't it drive you nuts? Oh, no, I was nuts before that. That I can believe. Now, look, kid, before the rest of the gang get here for rehearsal, run over your song. Okay. Oh, by the way, Mr. Benny, why were we rehearsing so early? Because I have a busy week. I also have to rehearse the Bob Hope program. I'm going to be on it Tuesday night. Bob Hope wants you on his program? Why? Why? Because he said that I'm the greatest comedian in the world. What's the matter? Is he crazy or something? Not crazy. He may lie a little, but he's okay. Now, go ahead and sing, will you? Why not? Because I'm not getting anywhere. What? I've been working for you for nine years and I can't even afford to buy anything. Clothes, shoes, food or anything. Now, wait a minute, Dennis. I'm not responsible for what you do with your money. What money? What money? I've been giving you checks every week. What do you do with the money you get when you cash them? Oh! Don't you know that when Jack gives you a check, you're supposed to... Leave him alone, Mary. He knows what he's doing. I'll get the scripts ready and then... Well, that must be the boys' nouns about time. Come in. Hiya, Jackson, Dennis. You delectable Cupid, are you? Well, if it is a little old Phil Harris, the breath that made Milwaukee famous. Now look, Don, you too, Phil. Look, when I call a rehearsal for a certain time, I expect you to be here. Wait a minute, Jackson. What's your rush? Take it easy. Relax. You'll have a show Sunday. What? And suppose you do have a lousy one. Nobody's going to turn off the radio. I come on right after you. Phil. You got better insurance than Fred Allen. Phil. Phil. Pencil head. It just so happens that I was on the air 15 years before you even had your own show. I know. And what happens? The minute I'm on my own, they embed television. They want to see me, too. Look, Dad, you better iron out those wrinkles if you want to stick around. What? Them blue eyes ain't going to do it alone. Well, Phil. Phil, I'll admit one thing. You're unnatural for television. The screen is square and your head will fit right in there. How is that, Don? Don? Mary, where's Don? His girdle broke and he can't get out of the den. How we ever get a show put together, I'll never know. Now, look, we came here to rehearse. Oh, for heaven's sake. Don, will you answer the phone, please? Sure, Jack. Hello? Yes, this is Jack Benny's home. What? Oh, that's the final vote. All the precincts are in, huh? Every vote has been counted and it's official now? Good, good. I'll tell him. What is it, Don? Luckies are first again with tobacco men. Oh, was it a close race? Oh, no, no. More independent tobacco experts smoke lucky strikes than the next two leading brands combined. Excuse me, but who are these tobacco experts? Mary, we've got to get... Well, here's what Colonel Crockmorton P. Day of Blediola Springs has to say. Oven smoking luckies for an ion of 3,000 years. 3,000 years. Stop being so dumb. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum. What's the matter with you guys anyway? You come over to rehearse, we can't even get started. Look, if I don't have a good show Sunday, I'll hear from my sponsor, Mr. Riggy-O. Riggy-O, lady. There it is again, the echo. Now you're all here in this room. I know you heard. I dare not. Neither did I. Who heard anything? Kids. Kids, you're sure you're not ribbing me, are you? No, Jack, we just don't hear it. Well, I hear it. I've got to do something. I even hear it in my sleep. Well, Jack, why don't you do like I ask you to? I've been after you for three weeks to go to a psychiatrist. Yeah, I guess you're right, Mary. I'll have to go to some doctor. Well, I know a wonderful psychiatrist. Why don't you let me take you there? OK, Mary, the quicker the better. But what about the rehearsal? Oh, we can rehearse tonight. All right. We'll rehearse tonight, kids. Come on, Mary, let's go. What's the number of the doctor's office, Mary? 11-07. It's right down the hall. This must be it here, room 11-07. Yeah, look what it says on the door. Dr. Nelson's psychiatrist. Come in, lie down for a while. Let's go in. Just a second. Jack, stop trying to look shabby. The doctor has one price for everybody. I'll have to pin my sleeve back on. Oh, well, let's go in. Nurse, I'd like to see Dr. Nelson. Very well, in just a few minutes. But first, I'll have to have some information about you. Well, my name. Oh, just a second, sir. I have to write this down. I want to get a pencil. There. Now, your name? Jack Denny. Occupation? Radio comedian. Are you currently employed? Yes. Yes, I am. And now for your financial status. What is your bank balance? Well. You better get another pencil, nurse. Mary, please. We'll go on to the next question. How tall are you? 5'11". Your weight? 165". Your eyes? They're blue, aren't they? Blueer than the lips of a schoolboy at 40 below. The doctor will be ready for you in a few minutes. Have a seat. Right over there by that gentleman in the corner. His name is Mr. Skinner. Oh, by the way, nurse, that Mr. Skinner isn't a violent patient, is he? Oh, far from it. In fact, he's very gentle. Gentle? Yes. He thinks he's a rabbit. Hmm. Come on, Mary. Let's sit down. Jack, what are you so mad about? A smart alec nurse trying to kid me a rabbit. Man, look just as normal as I do. Oh, Jack, there isn't room for both of us to sit on the sofa. Yes, there is, Mary. I'll ask Mr. Skinner to move over. Pardon me, sir. Eh. What's up, Jack? Gosh, you hear that, Mary? What's up, doc? You really do think you're a rabbit, huh? Yeah, but Dr. Nelson has helped me a lot. He has? What is his treatment? Oh, he uses applied psychology. He tries to make me think I'm something else. Right now, he's trying to convince me I'm a pig. A pig? Yeah, that's all, folks. Oh, say, Mary. Yes, Jack? No, it's a shame this guy is crazy. He's almost as talented as Mel Blank. Say, Bud. Yes, Mr. Skinner. I told you all about myself. Now, what are you here for? Oh, it's really nothing very serious. It's just something that bothers me. You see, I'm a comedian. Oh, on a stage? No, radio. Radio, ladies. There goes again. Mary. Mary, you heard it back time, didn't you? No, Jack, I didn't hear a thing and calm down. But there was an echo. Nurse, you heard it, didn't you, nurse? Well, no, I'm sorry. Mr. Skinner? Mr. Skinner, where are you going? I'm getting out of here. This guy's nuts. I've got a good mind to go after him and punch him right in the nose. Jack, control yourself. I won't control myself. I'm not going to let a silly rabbit call me nuts. All right, Jack. Now, sit down. Yes, doctor? Oh, very well, sir. I'll send in the next patient. It's Mr. Benny. What? No, it's Benny. Benny just left. Go right in, Mr. Benny. OK, you wait. You wait here for me, Mary. All right, Jack. And don't be nervous. Oh, Mr. Benny. Yes? The doctor may want to examine your head. Take off your derby. Thank you. Doctor, doctor, I'm Jack Benny. How do you do? And now, what can I do for you? Well, doctor, I hear echoes that no one else seems to hear. Echoes? How long have you suffered from this delusion? Oh, for several weeks. Uh-huh. And tell me, how old are you, Mr. Benny? 39. 39? How long have you suffered from that delusion? It's no delusion. I'm only 39. And what kind of a psychiatrist are you, anyway? Instead of a couch in here, you've got a double bed. Certainly. I like to lie down, too. And now, Mr. Benny, do you have any idea of when this echo first started bothering you? Yeah, you see, this summer, I was in Europe. I went to Switzerland. And I heard some Swiss Yodlers. And ever since then, an echo has followed me. Very interesting. Now, does this echo repeat everything you say? Well, not everything. It usually happens on words that end in O. You mean words like folio? Yes. In fact, it happened once on that very word, folio. Folioli. There it is. There it is. Look, you heard it, doctor. There it is. You must have heard it. There's no echo, Mr. Benny. Now, calm down, and we'll get to the cause of your neurosis. Gee, I hope you can. Let's get started with the treatment. Just a moment. I want to look in the next room and see how another one of my patients is getting along. Two and two is four. One and two is three. Three and three is six. Who is that? Mr. Gallop. Of the Gallop poll? Yes. Roper's still working on one and one. Now, Mr. Benny, lie down here and relax. Thank you. Comfy? Yes. Yes, are you? Yes. Now, we'll start with the color association test. Now, I'm going to name a color, and as quick as you can, you tell me exactly what comes into your mind. Ready? Yes. Black. White. Blue. Red. Orange. Yellow. Green. Money. Very interesting. Mr. Benny, you seem to have a certain fondness for money. Well, perhaps a little. And tell me, when did you first notice your desire to hold on to money? When I was six months old, I swallowed a dime. Oh, and when did they get it out? Oh, it's still in there. Good heavens, man. Why didn't you have a doctor remove it? Well, how can you trust anyone when you're under ether? Well, Mr. Benny, you've got to have confidence in... Pardon me. Yes, nurse? Oh, Dr. Nielsen, Mr. Skinner came back. Oh, does he still imagine he's a rabbit? I think... Call him a carrot and I'll see him later. And now let's see, where were we? Doctor, doc, please, about that echo. Oh, yes. Mr. Benny, I've come to the conclusion that what you're suffering from is nothing more than a somatic hallucination induced by your psychotic neuroses and aggravated by self-induced inhibitions and subconscious phobias of the psychosomatic urges. And there's only one cure for it. What's that? A four-way cold tablet. A cold tablet? Doctor, I'm all confused. Well, in simple language, Mr. Benny, when you first heard those yodellers in Switzerland, they created a great impression on you. And now, when you think you hear these echoes, it's nothing more than a thought desire to return to the scene of a happy experience. Oh. Well, what do you think I ought to do about it? Well, stop working so hard. Take a vacation. Get away from Hollywood. But where could I go? Why don't you try Sun Valley? In Idaho? Idaho? Well, I've always wanted to go there. Just a minute, Mr. Benny. Huh? Didn't you hear that echo? Oh, no. There was no echo that time. That's funny. I could have sworn I heard one. Oh, no, no. You see, it couldn't happen on a word like Idaho. It usually happens on words like I told you before. You know, like folio. Folio? Folioli? There it goes again. There it goes again. You heard it that time, didn't you, Mr. Benny? Didn't you? Didn't you? No, no, no. I didn't hear anything. But you must have. You must have. Calm down, Mr. Nelson. There's no echo now. As you explained, it was just a figment of my imagination. Then why am I hearing it? I don't give a hook about Switzerland. Well, thanks for helping me, doctor. I feel a lot better. Well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Don't leave me now. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go to your name, Mr. Benny. What's wrong with that doctor? Oh, well, I better get out of here. Oh, there's Mary sitting in the corner. Mary. Mary, I'm all cured. And it was the simplest thing in the world. The doctor talked me for a few minutes, and then I... Mary. What's the matter? Mary. Be back in just a moment. But first... That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. American. An impartial survey covering all the southern tobacco markets reveals this important fact. More independent tobacco experts smoke Lucky Strike regularly than the next two leading brands combined. Yes, Lucky Strike. First again with Tobacco Man. Remember, these are the men who really know Tobacco, the independent auctioneers, buyers, and warehousemen. That's why it's important for you to know that the overwhelming choice of these experts is Lucky Strike. You've heard the survey results. Now, here's what Mr. Sydney Curran, Tobacco Warehouseman, who sells on an average of eight and one-half million pounds of Tobacco a season recently said. At auction after auction, I've seen the makers of Lucky Strike buy a fine Tobacco that's got real smoking quality. Tobacco that smokes up mild, cool, and fragrant. I'll smoke Lucky's 26 years. A Lucky Strike smoker for 26 years. And Mr. Curran, like you, looks to a cigarette for enjoyment. Real deep down smoking enjoyment. So light up a Lucky yourself and puff by puff. You'll see. LSMFT. LSMFT. Lucky Strike means fine Tobacco. And naturally, fine Tobacco means a really enjoyable smoke for you. That's why you'll like Lucky Strike. Ladies and gentlemen, stay tuned in for the Phil Harris Alice Face Show, which follows immediately. And on Saturday night, be sure to hear a day in the life of Dennis Day. Well, Mary, I got to go over to rehearse with Bob Hope now. Have you got a good part? I don't know. I've got the script here. Let's see. On page three, I say, hello, Bob. And then he says, Oh, here on page six, I say, well, if it isn't high ever back. And then Bob says, Oh, but on 12 page 12. Oh, no, they cut that. Oh, well, I'll add live something. Good night. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.