 Okay, so we looked at, you know, transformation, keys to personal transformation, and one other thing is embracing the truth of the power of the finished work of the Lord Jesus on the cross. The second one is our identity, right, holding on, embracing our identity and living according to our new identity. The third one, which is again something that we have seen before earlier, is renewing our mind. Okay, renewing, changing, renovating, you know, whatever word we want to use there, renewing our mind. Okay, so that's the third one. Now the thing is, this responsibility lies with us. Okay, the renewing of our mind, like the Lord will not do it for us. He gives us the resources because we are called to renew our mind with his thoughts, his words, you know, so his ways. So the renewal of our mind, it's the renovation of our mind, the changing of our mind to the mind of Christ, the changing of our mind to the truth of God's word. So our mind is like, you know, it's a very, it's an amazing creation, you know, so much of memory it can hold and, you know, really enables us to think creatively, etc. But mind is also, you know, if we don't use it the way it's supposed to be, it can be our worst enemy. If in our minds reside our thoughts, imaginations, which drive our behavior. Our thoughts really drive our behavior, our thoughts lead our behavior. So, which means that everything, you know, the way we speak, the way we do things is dependent on the kind of thoughts that we have. You know, everything that we saw earlier attitude, temperament, it starts in the mind in the form of thoughts, right? And it kind of resides in the mind, especially if it's some hurt that we are harboring, some resentment that we have, or some thought of revenge, getting back. You know, this person said this, I need to put that person in place, said them right. All that, it's in the realm of our mind, it's in the realm of our soul. So, we need to watch out. We need to watch out and we need to intentionally change the way we perceive things, change the way we think about certain things. Especially, let's say if we are a person, you know, who is always prone to, like, let's say, putting people in their place. When I say putting people in their place, like, let's say they say something, we immediately react to that and they say something, you know, about them and we want to put them in their place. They said something negative about me, they tried to insult me in public, so I will, you know, insult them again in public so that they know who's the boss, they know that they can't get away with these kind of things. You know, if we are, you know, that kind of a, if we have that kind of a mindset, thinking, way of thinking, then that needs to change, right? We know that it's un-Christlike, we know that it needs to change. So, how will it change? It will change when we, when we have, you know, in our thoughts, when we have these problems, okay, come on now, just go for it. Now put them in their place. Then we change our minds. We change our decision. That's the meaning of the mind in a very simple manner. We change our decision according to the truth of God's word, right? According to the leading of the Holy Spirit. So we change, saying, okay, no, I'm a new man in Christ, I'm a new woman in Christ, you know, the, whatever is fueling, you know, that has been, that's dead. So I have, I have authority over my actions. I'm not a slave of sin. I'm a slave of righteousness. Righteousness flows out of me. Righteousness is what I live in. I've been close with the righteousness of Christ, you know, so you change your mind about getting back or about revenge, about resentment. We change our mind. And you see that initially it's difficult, right? Because this kind of thinking and behavior could be so entrenched in our minds. This is how we behave, maybe say 20 years, 30 years of our lives. Right? This is how we behave. This is how we learn. This is how we behave. This is how we survive. Right? Maybe it was a very hostile environment, like a workplace or, you know, you, you had to be, you know, on the edge all the time and you had to show them was the boss and, and this is how we survived. And these are skills that we picked up and say, okay, you know, for example, let's say, you know, whenever you feel threatened, you come back with anger and rage, come back with anger and rage, extreme anger, and throw things around, throw vessels, break plates, and everybody quietens down. Everybody's like, oh, that's in a bad mood. Let's, let's not do anything. And we learned that. And we do the same thing. Okay, anger and intimidation. And that's been so part, maybe of our lives for years. For it to change, it's difficult. You need, we need to change our minds. You know, we have all that urge to react and anger, intimidate the other person, say, shout out, and rage, but you change your mind. You change your mind. So it means our mind is so renewed to our identity. Our mind is so renewed to the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. It's so renewed to that. It's so renovated that whenever these, even these thoughts come of revenge, thoughts come of shouting, shouting and intimidating that person, that is replaced by the truth of God's word. Okay, so it becomes a righteous response instead of an unrighteous reaction. Okay, unrighteous, instead of a, so it's a totally different thing. So it becomes a righteous response. Now, well, that's a walk of consecration. That's a walk of sanctification. Now, that needs to happen day in and day out. Right. It is possible. And our mind becomes stronger and stronger. Our will becomes strengthened and strengthened to walk in righteousness and rejects and completely rejects these thoughts or prompts of unrighteousness. Okay. So Romans 12 and verse two, I think we've, verse one and two, you've read it many times. Let me just read it again. Romans 12. So verse two says, do not be conformed to this world or, you know, fit into this world pattern of values, but be transformed, radical change. Word used there is metamorph, which means, you know, one, the change is unrecognizable kind of a change. So be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. So the renewing of our mind, again, you know, it's tied to knowing, proving the perfect will of God. So renewing of our mind. So when, when our, with our renew minds, our behavior changes. Okay. So that's results in personal transformation, which, which helps us in, in our marriage scenario. Fourth one is walking in the spirit. So walking as led by the Holy Spirit walking, walking, meaning, you know, living our life as led by the Holy Spirit, living our life as guided by the Holy Spirit as prompted by the Holy Spirit. So, so we become sensitive to what pleases him. We become sensitive to, you know, what grieves him, what, what quenches his work. We become sensitive to that. And we esteem our relationship with God, with the Holy Spirit. So we esteem him to that extent that we want to obey, right? We want to please God, rather than pleasing our own selves, rather than, you know, winning in that situation, right? Winning that argument, putting people in place, you know, rather than that, we want to give, give way to be led by the Holy Spirit. So we see that Ephesians 5 verse 18 to 21, Paul says, do not be drunk with wine in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Holy Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God, right? So, so we see this. So, so instead of being drunk with wine, so referring to wine, alcohol influences, right? It influences. How does alcohol influence us? You know, alcohol makes us lose inhibitions, alcohol influences our thoughts, our thinking that, and completely takes over as we consume more and more, and, and, and, and really drives the person to do some crazy things which he or she would not do if they were sober, right? It actually influences them in such a way or overpowers them in such a way that they do, they do stuff which they normally would not do. So, looking at how we can be influenced, be filled with the Holy Spirit, be influenced by the Holy Spirit in order to be led to do some radical things. And these radical things would be, you know, loving unconditionally. These radical things would be forgiving as Christ would forgive. These radical things would be, you know, in those lines where the Holy Spirit leads us to do some things and us being completely influenced under the influence of the Holy Spirit, walking in the spirit. And we see, you know, in Galatians 5 where Paul says, walk in the spirit and you will not fulfill, Galatians 5.16, walk in the spirit and you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. You know, all these things that we see that we are, we have to overcome is in the realm of the, in the realm of the soul as influenced by the flesh, fleshly appetites and so on. So, here we see this instruction walk in the spirit and you will not fulfill. You shall not. It's a very, you know, definitive statement. You shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Well, the reality is, the reality is the presence of the lust of the flesh. You know, that also we know does not negate and say, okay, there will not be, you know, as you are led by the spirit or walk in the spirit, you will not feel any kind of lust of the flesh. You know, that's not what it says. It says here that you will not fulfill. You will live in dominion. Sin will not live in dominion like we saw in Romans 6.14. Sin shall not be in dominion. So, you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. You will bring to an end the deeds of the body, crucify the flesh. So, the things of the flesh, right? If you see the list which is there, Ephesians 5 and right after verse 16, right? Verse 19 onwards, works of the flesh are evident. Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries and the like, which I tell you beforehand, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. So, if you look at this, these are really things that attack and destroy a marriage, which really are toxic to any relationship, but definitely to a marriage, right? Very true. If you look at it, the first three itself, adultery, extra marital, fornication, fixed before marriage, talks about uncleanness and lewdness, unclean thoughts, unclean desires, dabbling in unclean things, lewdness being brazenly, was the word brazenly wicked or brazenly sinful in plain sight and especially sexual sin. So, you see that those are enemies of marriage and it says that these are the works of the flesh. To what extent the flesh can actually degrade a human being? And he's writing to believers and he's saying, you know, believers who are filled by the Spirit and he's writing to believers, you know, this is the work of the flesh. Don't be fooled. The flesh can drag you to such extent if you are actually led by it, if you are a carnal believer, right? So, there will be no difference the way you live and the way an unbeliever lives. So, you know, there will be no difference. But if you are led by the Spirit, if you are led by the Spirit and the fruit of the Spirit is these things, right? So, also talks about the fact that something that happened, finished work, those who are Christ have crucified the flesh with the passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. So, pride, conceit, envy, again destroy a good marriage. So, we're looking at how important it is for us to temperamentally allow the Lord to be the Lord of our lives, really. To have Him, you know, be enthroned in our hearts and lives. Which is really the fear of the Lord, which is esteeming the Lord, having a reverential awe of God. So, because whenever we indulge in the flesh, we are not honoring the Lord. Well, we think of grace and we think of mercy and fact that we can come back, but then the flesh completely overwhelms us. When we think of the things like contentions and jealousies and outbursts of wrath and all these things. Okay, so let's just move on. So, these four things, these four keys are very important for personal transformation. So, as believers, we need to maintain Christ-like attitudes. Spirit-controlled temperament and word-government behavior. So, when it comes to ourselves, when it comes to relating to our spouse, you know, we need to maintain that. And we use the word maintain because it's an ongoing thing. Okay, it's not only during the time of courtship when, oh, you don't really know the person and you want to impress the other person and you want to say the right things, do the right things. You want to show your best self to the person. It's not during those times of getting to know the person, during the time of courtship. But also, you know, like three years, five years, ten years down the line. So, this thing needs to be maintained. It's an ongoing thing regarding our attitude, regarding our temperament, regarding our behavior. This thing needs to be maintained. So, when it comes to, if I do this, if I take responsibility for this, then, you know, I fulfill my responsibility, my part of it in understanding my spouse, in relating to my spouse. And it's going to affect everything, you know, right from thoughts, from perception, what I do and what I do for my spouse and also in what ways I communicate. You know, if you're looking at the notes, for the married person, it's specifically designed for the married person. So, if you are, you know, considering someone, then also I guess it applies. It says, you know, thoughts, what do I think with my spouse? Perception, how do I view my spouse? Do I say that he or she is, you know, the negative side of it, the positive side of it? What is it? Action, what do I do to and for my spouse? What do I say to and about my spouse? So, and areas that I need to change, these are four areas. So, what change do I bring in? Is there some change that I must bring in? So, this really helps us, this exercise really helps us to be specific. Okay, in what area? What do I do to change? And the fact is this, that we are not doing out of our own willpower, but based on what has already happened, right? Part of the cross, our identity, who I am, who we are in Christ and our, you know, renewing our minds and walking as led by the Spirit. Okay, so this is something that would really help us in, personal change. So, any doubts, any thoughts so far? Let me just, yeah, any thoughts, any doubts? First I have a doubt. Can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. I had a conversation with one person. So, she was saying, she's getting very late to get married and she looked for a lot of proposals from the believer side and she's not getting. So, she's going ahead with non-believer, non-believer in the sense, Christian, but not a believer, believer. And one reason she's saying is, many believers are very judgmental and arrogant and I've been looking for many years now and things like that and many Catholics are getting converted to Christianity also. I mean, in the believers, I hope you understood what I meant. Yeah, yeah. So, how do we communicate the truth? Yeah, it's a little difficult. Once a person knows the truth and still chooses not to obey the truth, like because of circumstances, whatever, difficulty of circumstances, saying, okay, it's too difficult for me to hold on to the truth. So, I'm just going to, you know. So, the person must be aware, you know. We can just see now we can only influence, we can't force. So, all that we can do is present the truth and say, this is what the Word of God says. I know the reality of your situation, but this is what the Word of God says. So, how can we help in any other way? Okay. Can we facilitate maybe some, you know, network, try and find out, okay, get some proposals which you can consider and reconsider certain proposals, maybe even reconsider certain proposals which have come and why did you reject, you know. Maybe the person looked at it through, I don't know, in what way they assessed, so maybe just help them see things. You know, what do you mean by judgmental? There's no way that, you know, the person who doesn't believe in Christ can also be judgmental. So, what do you mean by judgmental? And what are those qualities that you are saying, you know, that you're rejecting people for, that you didn't, you know, find. So, it's a personal choice that we can actually help clarify certain things. Maybe they're looking on to, you know, they're holding on to certain things in their mind which are, which could be a wrong evaluation of the person, you know, and just assuming. So, that could be one way to help. But also to present the truth saying, you know, this is what the word of God says. So, when, you know, if you're going to be marrying a person who's not a believer, there will be consequences in the sense there will be challenges. And you need to be fully aware of that. You don't go in with your eyes closed. You need to be fully aware of that. There will be tension, there will be pull, challenge. Because now, right now, courtship days, everything will look rosy, you know, but true values and things that you value will not be of value to that person. Right now, they might be understanding and very broad minded and say, yeah, yeah, that's fine, you live, this is how you want to be, that's fine, we'll go with it. But, you know, right from the time, how you want to spend your Sundays, how you want to, you know, bring up your children and the kind of values that you want to bring them up in, there will be, you know, contradiction and you need to be aware of that. Are you ready for that? You know, and yeah, so things like that, John, I just feel that they need to be, you know. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, thanks. Any other questions? That was from a very pastoral angle, you know, counseling, helping someone. So, anything from a personal side, you know, saying, okay, these are some attitudes that I see. Okay, so the thing is, you know, while you are working on yourself, you know, while we are working on ourselves, it'll be great if the other person is also working on his or her self, you know, with the same intensity, with the same passion, saying, I need to be the best for my future spouse. It's great if the person can do that. And that's why we, you know, we need to prepare, and the game of three and worst three says, can two walk together unless they are in agreement. So even this preparation is an agreement saying, yeah, you know, I need to prepare myself. I understand the value of preparing myself for the future. I can't just prepare for the wedding, but I need to prepare for the marriage that's ahead and without two different things. So it's good. So it's an ongoing thing, you know. There are certain things that, you know, we kind of prepare ourselves, mail down for the marriage that's ahead, and there are certain things, of course, we continue to do. You know, these things, like we said, it's an ongoing thing so that we can be our best spouse in the relationship. Okay. So what do you think? Do you think marriage is a good thing? It's positive, definitely. The married person is saying so, I think, yeah, definitely. You have the weight of evidence with you, John. Yeah, it also helps us to understand ourselves also better. Yeah. So one thing, as you were mentioning about attitudes, I was just thinking, there are certain things which we think, you know, I was good in, but when we get into a marriage, then we realize that, you know, a lot of work to do in that area also. Right. Yeah, it helps us to understand ourselves better. Yeah, absolutely. So the thing is, what really helped us is to look at it as something ongoing and something for every believer, not just for marriage. This will overflow into marriage. But really, if you see this renewing of the mind and being led by the spirit and embracing our identity and what's the first one that we said, the power of the cross, the finished work of the cross, these are some basics, fundamentals for every believer as a disciple of Christ. These are some things that I need to walk in. So it's not like, you know, something else that I take on, right? But it's actually a normal Christian life that we work with ourselves, that we consecrate ourselves, sanctify ourselves, and every day we do this. So you don't have to look at it like, oh, wow, marriage is so difficult. When we start working on ourselves, it will flow into our marriage as well. Right. And for those of us who are already married, this will really result in a key change. I mean, the major change in our relationship. Right. Our spouse will notice that change. How come you're very patient these days? How come you've changed? And so there's a question here. How to deal with disagreements in a marriage? Yeah. So we're going to look at the whole aspect of conflict. Okay. So if you can wait till then, I think we're going to address it, right? Resolving conflicts and it'll be in depth. That is chapter 10. Okay. We are in chapter five right now. Chapter 10 is about resolving conflicts. So there will be, okay. So the first one, the reality is there will be disagreements in marriage. Okay. That's a given. There will be conflicts because we are two different people who are works in progress. They will be, but the good thing is this, we can work through it. Right. If one picture that really probably I'll just share this and then we'll move on. One picture that really helped me personally is this that, that both the husband and the wife are sitting on one side of the table. We're not really sitting opposite each other confronting one another, you know, working at two different things. We are actually sitting on the same side of the table because we are working towards something together. Okay. So even when it comes to disagreements and working through disagreements, right, we are actually on the same side of the table. We're not on opposite ends of the table. We're on the same side of the table looking at the same objective. So we might have different viewpoints, but so that picture really helped. Hey, you're on my side. You're, we are on the same team. You're not in opposing teams. You're on the same team. You're on the same side. You're not my enemy. You're my friend companion. So with that in mind, well, we are disagreeing on this. Some disagreements are very sharp. Very, you know, let's say it's, it's, it's really a sharp division. But how can we work through, right? So, so that's really, you know, helped me personally to look at it that way. Yeah. So we look at it in chapter 10, right? Okay. Okay. If there's nothing else, then we'll move on to chapter six. Now, chapter six is a big one. I must say that chapter six is, is it's like, it's like something that we need to work on. And it's always, you can say, I've arrived. You know, we can never say that. So it's a big one. And it's, it's this whole thing of communication. Okay. Communication is, is a big one in marriage. Because people are different. There are different styles of communication. There are different ways in which we communicate. Like how many, how many of you went through that quiz love language quiz? John had posted the link on the stream. So I hope you, you know, tried it out. Otherwise you can try. It's a good resource. Gary Chapman's, you know, this is work is study on love language and so on. So that's a, that'll really give us an insight. So if you've not done it, I would just encourage you to go and look at that website and also take up that quiz. So it'll give you some understanding about how you communicate. How you express yourself and how you receive, you know, love and how you receive, how you give love and receive love. So it's really help. Okay. So communication. So there are different styles. And we see that communication is very, very important. It is essential and it helps maintain a strong relationship. It helps to improve the relationship. Okay. And as we, you know, improve our communication, we see that the relationship grows. So it's like something that helps the relationship grow and help the marriage relationship thrive. So it's communication. So if we are not, if you are communicating well, if we understand what are the blocks in communication, then it'll really be an eye opener. Right. We can say, okay. Yeah. We say, fine. You know, this is where my communication needs to change. You know, in under pressure, this is how I communicate. So I better change my way of communication. I might be all sincere in my intent, but you know, with a lot of things going wrong. If I'm under pressure, then I, you know, maybe there's a different style in which I need to communicate things. Right. And I'm different way in which I need to express. Right. So let's look at different levels of communication. Okay. Let me just open up and share this. Okay. So we have different levels of communication. Generally speaking, communication can be, has that come up on the screen? Yeah. Okay. So communication can be casual. Okay. So we normally, you know, this is the style of communication that we, the level of communication where all are, you know, maybe it's an acquaintance, you know, a person who's just an acquaintance who you don't know very well. This is a casual conversation. It would be, you know, talking about the weather. Have you had your breakfast? Have you had your lunch? And how are you? Nice to see you. And we don't normally, you know, even expect a response, you know, how things with you. Yeah, it's fine. And we just move on. You know, it's a, we're just being courteous, we're being polite. And it's a casual conversation. You know, we might, we might exchange some facts. We might exchange some information. Oh, the traffic these days is really terrible, isn't it? And then we talk about it. So it's just a very casual thing. Right. Then there's another level of different level of communication, which could be a professional communication. Maybe this could be at our workplace, at a place of study, you know, where we are, because of the need to communicate, we're sharing information. Okay. There's a lot of sharing of information, facts, ideas, you know, viewpoints, your opinion, analysis, all that we are sharing. Okay. So we need to maybe arrive at some decisions. So there's a lot of communication happening, but it's, but it's in this realm, you know, there's a exchange of ideas. There's an exchange of thoughts, exchange of opinions, maybe exchange of conclusions based on these facts. So it's again, right? You know, and it's professional, right? Then another level would be friendship. And as friends, you see that your communication changes, right? You could be casual. You could be, you know, there could be sharing of information. But it also, along with the sharing of information, you're sharing your feelings, you're sharing your emotions, you're sharing your thoughts, right? What you think deeply, what you care about, you know, all that. And it's, you know, you're sharing it in a language, you're sharing it in a way, expressing it in a way which is a lot more casual than in a strictly, you know, official manner, like, so your language is different and so on. So it's friendship. So you're sharing, okay, this is what, you know, maybe your dreams are, this is what your likes are, this is what your dislikes are, and which you may not share, you know, in a professional kind of setting, right? So maybe even your fears, okay? And in a friendship kind of a communication, there could be also, you know, also scope for correction, right? You, you know, you communicate and say, hey, that's not right. That's terrible. Why did you do that? You know, so all that happens in a friendship communication. Then there is the communication of intimacy. It's where it's a deeper level and this is the communication in a marriage relationship. So what is the characteristic of this? You know, there is trust. You're trusting the person. There is commitment. There is companionship and friendship, and you're sharing your deepest emotions and deepest feelings, longings and desires, maybe even, you know, of fears, which we would not normally share in a friendship conversation also. Okay, so it's much, much deeper than that. And so the thing is in this intimate conversation or communication, there's total vulnerability. Okay, so you're making yourself vulnerable. There's some of the things that you're talking about yourself. You're, you know, vulnerable means you're exposing yourself, right? Exposing your strengths, exposing your weaknesses. And it's in an environment of trust, right? It's in a place of trust. It's in a place of commitment. So it's a safe environment where you're being intimate in your conversation, right, in your communication. So the thing is it is in a covenant relationship that this kind of communication takes place. So the danger is that if this communication takes place in outside multiple settings, you know, then there's a problem. You know, you're emotionally connected to someone because this kind of conversation does that. And if it's not your spouse, then there will be a problem because it's the way you know, got designed the covenant relationship to be that it needs to be, you know, this kind of communication needs to be in that setting only where there's relationship, there's trust with this commitment, and it's in a covenant kind of setting. So it's very intimate. Therefore, we need to be careful, right? With whom are we having this kind of a vulnerable intimate conversation? Communication, right? Okay. So the thing is this that our communication level needs to grow. Okay. Our communication needs to change. You know, if it's only casual or if it's only professional exchange of ideas, there's a lot of talk, you know, there's a lot of time spent. You're talking about the weather, you're talking about the politics, you're talking about traffic, you're talking about what happened at work, you're talking about all that, you know, that's great. So there's a lot of movement, there's a lot of momentum, but really the communication doesn't go deeper than that. The deeper the communication, the deeper the relationship, because communication actually does that to the relationship. Okay. So sort of for healthy, meaningful communication, you know, it requires time. Okay. So let's look at that. It requires time, it requires trust and transparency. So the three T's, if you want to call it that, of meaningful communication. So time. Okay. So time is investment of it. Time, when we say time, it's not just, you know, time spent. It could be, you know, we can spend about maybe, you know, six or seven hours continuously and not really have meaningful communication. So we're saying, you know, there's investment of time, intentionally having this kind of intimate communication and investing our time in it. Okay. So what happens is that, you know, this kind of communication happens, you know, like maybe early days of marriage and all that, but if we are not intentional about it, it can just fall by the wayside. Meaning, you know, you become so engrossed in the routines of life and the busyness of life in, you know, in getting things done and in the complexities of life, right? Maybe, you know, when children come along, then parenting and absolutely feel like, hey, there's no time. Just getting, looking after the children and getting them ready for school, you know, everything, priority, everything changes, right? So the thing is to intentionally invest time in order to have communication, in order to have deep communication. Okay. Like even today, we were just talking about it. Hey, when should we sit down and talk about things? Normally, it's over a cup of coffee in the morning, but then sometimes that also becomes a rush. And today I was just gently preparing and having my coffee, so it's not really, you know, so we're saying, hey, we need to, you know, we need to sit down and have a proper thing. So we haven't decided yet when. But the thing is to know the importance of it and intentionally set up time for it, okay? So it needs to be at a time when both our energy levels are, you know, at an optimum level in the sense. The other person, if the other person says, oh, I'm tired, please leave me. I just don't want to talk about anything now and I don't want to talk about those, you know, those complex things, those issues. I just want to relax. Okay, so we need to work out a time because some people are morning people, you know, five o'clock in the morning, they are just buzzing, they're just thriving. And five o'clock in the morning is like middle of the night for some others, you know, they just not. So we need to find out, you know, figure out, okay, with your spouse. Okay, what is there? What is the time? So for us, for some of us who are not yet married, things to keep in mind, okay, that communication needs to be intentional. It needs to be an investment. And it needs to be at a time when, you know, when the person is also, you know, energetic, you know, and they are able to engage in conversation. Okay, right. So then we take care. Okay, let me just change the slide. Okay, we'll come to that a little later. Yeah, so when it comes to time again, you know, it requires time, we can't rush it. Okay, so when you say meaningful communication, it requires time, we need to invest, we need to be intentional about it. We need to do it at a time when we are, you know, when the other person is also able to, also, you know, energy levels are high. So, okay, so we understand that. Also plan for extended times, maybe like a vacation, you know, it didn't need to be anything fancy, but really where you can spend time to do this, right? So keep that in mind. Okay, so the second one is trust. Okay, so trust is something that is earned. Trust is something that is given. You know, trust is required for good communication. Why do we say that? Because if a person does not trust the other person, and that really quickly, very quickly shuts down the communication. If I'm not able to trust you, how can I be vulnerable and open and talk about my dreams, aspirations? Because if I don't trust you, then if you're going to make fun of me, like if you're going to, you know, going to just totally shut me down, if you're going to make fun of me in front of others about this, you know what, hey, you know what, my wife said this the other day, and you're, you know, in the gathering with friends, and so that's very quickly destroys the trust. And because trust is destroyed, that shuts down the communication also. So what happens is that the spouse, you know, the wife feels that, okay, it's not like I majorly distrust the husband, but I can't trust him with these deep things. I can't trust him with these things that I fear or these things I care about. Because if he's going to make a joke about it in public, then I'd rather not do that. So, you know, he just keeps it locked in with him, okay? Right, so when we say, how do we develop trust when our actions, and we say we will do something, and then we do it? Meaning our actions back up the words that we speak. And when we say, when we promise something, we keep it. And when we say, okay, I will not let this out, I'll be, you know, this is confidential, I will keep it confidential, and you keep it, then it builds trust. Simple things like, you know, okay, I'll meet you here at this time. You do that, do that, it builds trust. You know, I will get this done, or if you're for some reason unable to, you communicate that as well, saying, you know, this is what happened, but I will do it, right? But when we don't back up our words with actions, then over a period of time, it erodes trust. Okay, so it chips away at trust and breaks down trust. And it's very, very difficult to win back trust. It is possible to build trust again, but it's a long process. Okay, as it is, trust takes time. But if there is, you know, if there is a breakdown of trust, then to rebuild the trust takes extra effort, extra grace, and extra time, right? Be aware of that. So it's good to, you know, keep that trust or protect that trust in marriage. Okay, so yeah, so these are some things that we understand about trust. The third thing is transparency. You know, transparency again takes time. Transparency is, you know, making ourselves vulnerable. You know, one person defined it that way, like, you know, transparency and intimacy, like, into me you see, you know, it's like being transparent, being open so that the other person is able to look in and see you for who you really are. So which means you're sharing your innermost thoughts, your dreams, you're not holding back. So being transparent, right? So this also takes time, right? So it also means that you're doing the other things, right? What are those other things, renewing your mind, being led by the spirit, you know, embracing your identity, embracing what Christ did for us on the cross. So especially when it comes to identity, if we are, you know, strong in it, then it enables us to be a lot more transparent, you know, because you're getting rid of your insecurities, you're getting rid of your fears, you're getting rid of your, you know, your need for approval and acceptance because you're already accepted, you're already loved by God unconditionally. So all that really helps you to be transparent, right? Okay, if you're following in your notes, maybe you can look at, there is this check, okay? The way things are right now, okay? It's a reflection of an estimate of transparency level. So you can just go through that, and it's really be an eye-opener, right? Okay, and the best thing is to have your spouse do that and rate it. It'll be an eye-opener for you as well, okay? Okay, all right, okay, we'll stop here, take a break, and come back. Okay, thank you.