 Part 1 of Chapter 86 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 2 by Tobias Smollett. This Librivox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Martin Gheeson. Chapter 86. Part 1. Peregrine receives a letter from Hatchway, in consequence of which he repairs to the garrison, and performs the last offices to his aunt. He is visited by Mr. Gauntlet, who invites him to his marriage. In this circle of amusements our hero's time was parceled out, and few young gentlemen of the age enjoyed life with greater relish, notwithstanding those intervening checks of reason, which served only to whet his appetite for a repetition of the pleasures she so prudently condemned, when he received the following letter, by which he was determined to visit his estate in the country. Cousin Pickle, I hope you are in a better trem than your aunt, who has been fast-mort to her bed these seven weeks, by several feet of underwater login in her hold and hullop, whereby I doubt her planks are rotted, so as she cannot choose but fall to pieces in a short time. I have done all in my power to keep her tight and easy, and free from sudden squalls that might overstrain her. And here have been the doctors, who have scuttled her lower deck, and let out six gallons of water. For my own part I wonder how the devil had came there, for you know as how it was a liquor she never took in. But as for those fellows the doctors, they are like unskillful carpenters, but in mending one leak make a couple, and so she fills her in a pace. But the worst sign of all is this here. She won't let a drop of nants go betwixt the comings of her teeth, and has quite lost the rudder of her understanding. Her body she yaws, woundily in her speech, pilavling about some foreign part called the new Geriusalon, and wishing herself in a safe berth in the river Giordan. The parson, I must say, strives to keep her steady, concerning the navigation of her soul, and talks very sensibly of charity and the poor, whereof she has left a legacy of two hundred pounds in her will. And here has been Mr. Gamaliel and your brother, my lord, demanding entrance at the gate in order to see her. But I would not suffer them to come aboard, and pointed my patter arrows, which made them shear off. Your sister, Mistress Clover, keeps close watch upon her kinswoman, without ever turning in, and a kind-hearted young woman it is. I should be glad to see you at the garrison, if the wind of your inclination sits that way, and may have it may be a comfort to your aunt, to behold you alongside of her, when her anchor is a peak. So no more at present, but rest your friend, and humble servant to command, John Hatchway. Next morning, after the receipt of this epistle, Peregrine, in order to manifest his regard to his aunt, as well as his friendship for honest Jack, set out on horseback for their habitation, attended by pipes, who longed to see his old mass-mate. But before he reached the garrison, Mistress Hatchway had given up the ghost. In the three score and fifth year of her age, the widower seemed to bear his loss with resignation, and behaved very decently upon the occasion, though he did not undergo those dangerous transports of sorrow, which some tender-hearted husbands have felt at the departure of their wives. The lieutenant was naturally a philosopher, and so well disposed to acquiesce in the dispensations of providence, but in this, as well as in every other emergency of his life, he firmly believed that everything which happened was for the best. Peregrine's task, therefore, was not so great in comforting him as in consoling his own sister, who with great poignancy and sincerity of grief lamented the death of the only relation with whom she had maintained any intimacy of correspondence. For her mother was as implacable as ever, in her enmity against her and Peregrine, and rather more determined in her rancour, that which was originally a sudden transport of indignation, being by this time settled into a confirmed inveteracy of hate. As for Gam, who was now dignified by the country-people with the appellation of the young squire, he still acted in the capacity of minister to the caprice and vengeance of his mother, taking all opportunities of disturbing Julia's peace, slandering her reputation, and committing outrages against the tenants and domestics of her husband, who was a man of a quiet and timorous disposition. But the chief amusement of young Pickle, in his later years, was the chase in which he acquired some renown by his intrepidity and remarkable figure, which improved every day in deformity, in so much as to suggest a ludicrous scheme of revenge to a gentleman in the neighbourhood, having been affronted by the insolence of crockback. He clothed a large baboon that was in his possession, in a dress that resembled the hunting equipage of Gam, and ordering the animal to be set astride and tied upon the back of his keenest hunter, turned them out one day after the hounds. The horse in a little time outstripping all the rest in the field. The rider was mistaken for Gam by the whole company, who saluted him as he passed with a hollow, observing that the squire had his usual good luck in being better mounted than his neighbours. Pickle afterwards, appearing in his own person, created great astonishment in the spectators, one of whom asked if he had split himself in train, and pointed out his representative, who was by this time almost up with the hounds, upon which the identical Gam went in pursuit of the imposter. When he overtook him, he was so much enraged at the count of it, that he attacked the baboon whip in hand, and in all probability would have sacrificed him to his resentment, had he not been prevented by the other fox hunters. They interposed in order to make up the difference betwixt two brothers of the sport, and were equally surprised and diverted when they distinguished the quality of crookback's antagonist, which they rescued from his rage, and reconveyed to its master. Peregrine, at the request of his friend Jack, took charge of his aunt's funeral, to which his parents were invited, though they did not think proper to appear, or pay the least regard to his solicitations, when he desired permission to wait upon them in person. Nevertheless, old Gamaliel, at the instigation of his wife, afterwards obtained an order from Drs. Cummins, obliging Hatchway to produce the will of his wife, on the supposition that she had bequeathed to him some part of the money, which he knew was at her own disposal. But from this step he reaped no other satisfaction than that of finding himself altogether neglecting the testatrix, who had left all her effects to her husband, except one thousand pounds with her jewels to Julia's daughter, the benefaction mentioned in the lieutenant's letter, and some inconsiderable legacies to her favourite domestics. A few days after the interment of this good lady, our hero was agreeably surprised with a visit from his friend Godfrey, who had come to England in consequence of that promotion, which he owed to his interest, though the soldier himself placed it to the credit of a certain courtier, who had formally promised to befriend him, and now finding his advancement unowned, very modestly arrogated the merit of it to himself. He communicated his good fortune to Pickle, who complimented him upon it as an event of which he had no precognition, and at the same time told him that in consequence of his preferment his cousin at Windsor had consented to his being immediately united in the bands of wedlock with his lovely Sophie, that the wedding-day was already fixed, and that nothing would be wanting to his happiness if Peregrine would honour the nuptials with his presence. Our hero accepted the invitation with great eagerness when he learned that Emilia would be there in quality of bridesmaid, and now repeated what he had formally written to his friend, namely that he was not only willing but extremely impatient to atone for his mad behaviour to that young lady by laying himself and his whole fortune at her feet. Godfrey thanked him for his honourable intention, and promised to use his influence and that of Sophie in his behalf, though he seemed dubious of their success on account of his sister's delicacy, which could not pardon the leased shadow of disrespect. He owned indeed he was not certain that she would appear in the same company with Pickle, but as she had made no stipulations on that score he would interpret her silence in the most favourable manner, and keep her in ignorance of his design until she should find it too late to retract with any decency. End of Part 1 of Chapter 86 Part 2 of Chapter 86 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Chapter 86 Part 2 The hope of seeing and conversing with Emilia, and perhaps of being reconciled to her after having suffered so much and so long from her displeasure, raised a tumult of ideas in his breast, and produced a strange inquiritude of joy and perturbation. Gauntlet, having stayed with him a few days, and signified the time appointed for his spousals, took his leave in order to prepare for the occasion, while Peregrine, with his friend Hatchway, made a tour among his acquaintance in the country, with a view of sounding their inclinations, watching a project which he had lately conceived, of offering himself as a candidate for a certain borough in the neighbourhood at the ensuing election for members of parliament. This scheme, which was suggested to him by one of his quality patrons, would have succeeded according to his wish, had the election taken place immediately. But before that happened, his interest was overbalanced by some small accidents that will be recorded in the sequel. In the meantime he repaired to Windsor on the eve of his friend's marriage, and understood from Godfrey that it was with the utmost difficulty that he and Sophie could prevail upon his sister to be present at the wedding, when she was informed that her lover was invited, and that her consent had not been obtained until they had promised, on the part of Peregrine, that he should not renew the old topic, nor even speak to her in the style of a former acquaintance. Our young gentleman was netted at this preliminary, to which, however, he said he would adhere, and so well did he think himself fortified with pride and resentment, that he resolved to behave towards her with such indifference as would he hoped mortify her vanity, and thereby punish her for the impluckability of her disposition. Armed with these sentiments, he was next day introduced by Godfrey to the bride, who received him with her usual sweetness of temper and affability, and Amelia being present, he saluted her with a distant bow, which she acknowledged with a cold curtsy and an aspect of ice. Though this deportment confirmed his displeasure, her beauty undermined his resolution. He thought her charms were infinitely improved since their last parting, and a thousand fond images recurring to his imagination, he felt his whole soul dissolving into tenderness and love. In order to banish those dangerous ideas, he endeavored to enter into a gay conversation with Sophie on the subject of the approaching ceremony, but his tongue performed its office awkwardly. His eyes were attracted towards Amelia, as if they had been subject to the power of fascination. In spite of all his efforts, a deep sigh escaped from his bosom, and his whole appearance indicated anxiety and confusion. The bridegroom perceiving his condition abridged the visit, and having conducted his companion to his own lodgings, expressed his concern at having been the innocent occasion of his uneasiness by exposing him to the sight of Amelia, which he perceived had given him pain. Peregrine, who had by this time recollected the dictates of his pride, assured him that he had been the one who was very much mistaken in the cause of his disorder, which was no other than a sudden quarm, to which he had been for some time subject, and to show him how philosophically he could bear the disdain of Amelia, which with all deference to her conduct he could not help thinking a little tooth beer. He desired, as the bridegroom had made preparation for a private ball in the evening, that he would provide him with an agreeable partner, in which case he would exhibit undoubted proofs of the tranquility of his heart. I was in hopes, answered Godfrey, of being able, with the assistance of Sophie, to make up matters between you and my sister, and for that reason kept her unengaged to any other gentleman for the night. But since she was so peevishly obstinate, I shall take care to accommodate you with a very handsome young lady, whose partner will not be sorry to exchange her for Amelia. The thoughts of having an opportunity to coquette with another woman under the eye of this implacable mistress supported his spirit during the ceremony which put Gauntlet in possession of his heart's desire. And by means of this cordial he found himself so undisturbed at dinner, though he sat opposite to his fair enemy, that he was able to pass some occasional jokes upon the new married couple, with some appearance of mercy and good humour. Nor did Emily any otherwise seem affected by his presence than by accepting him from the participation of those genial regards which she distributed to the rest of the company. This easiness of behaviour on her side reinforced his resolution by giving him pretence to call her sensibility in question, for he could not conceive how any woman of acute feelings could sit unmoved in presence of a man with whom she had such recent and intimate connection, not considering that she had much more reason to condemn his affectation of unconcern, and that her external deportment might, like his own, be an effort of pride and resentment. This contest in point of dissimulation continued till night, when the company was paired for dancing, and Peregrine began the ball by walking a minuet with the bride. Then he took out the young lady to whom he was recommended by Gauntlet, being very well pleased to see that her person was such as might have inspired even Emily herself with jealousy. Though at the same time he perceived his mistress coupled with a gay young officer, whom with all due deference to his own qualifications, he considered as no despicable rival. However, he himself first began hostilities by becoming all of a sudden particular with his partner, whom he forthwith assailed with flattering compliments, that soon introduced the subject of love upon which he expatiated with great art and elocution, using not only the faculty of speech, but also the language of the eyes, in which he was a perfect connoisseur. This behaviour soon manifested itself to the whole assembly, the greatest part of whom believed that he was, in good earnest, captivated by the charms of his partner, while Emilia, penetrating into his design, turned his own artillery upon himself by seeming to listen with pleasure to the addresses of his rival, who was no novice in the art of making love. She even affected uncommon vivacity and giggled aloud at every whisper which he conveyed into her ear, in so much that she in her turn afforded speculation to the company, who imagined the young soldier had made a conquest of the bridegroom's sister. Pickle himself began to cherish the same opinion, which gradually invaded his good humour, and at length filled his bosom with rage. He strove to suppress his indignation, and called every consideration of vanity and revenge to his aid. He endeavoured to wean his eyes from the fatal object that disturbed him, but they would not obey his direction and command. He wished himself deprived of all sensation when he heard her laugh, and saw her smile upon the officer, and in the course of country dancing, when he was obliged to join hands with her, the touch thrilled through all his nerves, and kindled a flame within him which he could not contain. In a word his endeavours to conceal the situation of his thoughts were so violent that his constitution could not endure the shock. The sweat ran down his forehead in a stream. The colour vanished from his cheeks, his knees began to totter, and his eyesight to fail, so that he must have fallen at his full length upon the floor, had not he retired very abruptly into another room, where he threw himself upon a couch and fainted. In this condition he was found by his friend, who seeing him withdraw with such symptoms of disorder, followed him thither, and when he recovered the use of his faculties, pressed him to make use of a bed in that house, rather than expose himself in the night air by going home to his own lodgings. But not being able to prevail upon him to accept the offer, he wrapped him up in a cloak, and conducting him to the inn where he lodged, helped him to undress and go to bed, where he was immediately seized with a violent fit of the acue. Godfrey behaved with great tenderness and would have actually bore him company all night, notwithstanding the circumstances of his own situation, had not his friend insisted upon his returning to the company, and making his apology to his partner for his sudden departure. This was a step absolutely necessary towards maintaining the quiet of the assembly, which he found in great consternation, occasioned by his absence, for some of the ladies seeing the bridegroom follow the stranger in his retreat, the meaning of which they did not comprehend, began to be afraid of a quarrel. Emilia, upon pretense of that supposition, was so much alarmed that she could not stand and was veined to have recourse to a smelling bottle. The bride, who understood the whole mystery, was the only person that acted with deliberation and composure. She imputed Emilia's disorder to the right cause, which was no other than consensuality, which was no other than concern for the condition of her lover, and assured the ladies there was nothing extraordinary in Mr. Pickles going off, he being subject to fainting fits by which he was often overtaken without any previous notice. The arrival of Gauntlet confirmed the truth of this declaration. He made an apology to the company in the name of his friend, who he told them was suddenly taken ill, and they returned to their diversion of dancing with this variation. Emilia was so disordered and fatigued that she begged to be excused from continuing the exercise, and Peregrine's partner being disengaged was paired with the young officer for whom she was originally designed. Meanwhile the bride withdrew into another apartment with her sister, and expostulated with her upon her cruelty to Mr. Pickles, assuring her from Godfrey's information that he had undergone a severe fate on her account, which in all likelihood would have a dangerous effect upon his constitution. Though Emilia was inflexible in her answers to the kind remonstrances of the gentle Sophie, her heart melting with the impressions of pity and love, and finding herself unable to perform the duty of her function in putting the bride to bed, she retired to her own chamber, and in secret, sympathised with the distemper of her lover. In the morning, as early as decency would permit him to leave the arms of his dear wife, Captain Gauntlet made a visit to Peregrine, who had passed a very tedious and uneasy night, having been subject to short intervals of delirium, during which pipes had found it very difficult to keep him fast belied. He owned indeed to Godfrey that his imagination had been haunted by the ideas of Emilia and her officer, which tormented him to an unspeakable degree of anguish and distraction, and that he would rather suffer death than a repetition of such excruciating reflections. He was however comforted by his friend, who assured him that his sister's inclinations would in time prevail over all the endeavours of resentment and pride, illustrating this a separation by an account of the manner in which she was affected by the knowledge of his disorder, and advising him to implore the mediation of Sophie in a letter which she should communicate to Emilia. This was an opportunity which our hero thought too favourable to be neglected. Calling for paper, he sat up in his bed, and in the first transports of his emotion, wrote the following petition to Godfrey's amiable wife. End of Part 2 of Chapter 86. Part 3 of Chapter 86 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle. Volume 2 by Tobias Smollett. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Martin Giesen. Chapter 86 Part 3 Dear Madam, the affliction of a contrite heart can never appeal to your benevolence in vain, and therefore I presume to approach you in this season of delight with the language of sorrow, requesting that you will espouse the cause of an unhappy lover who mourns with unutterable anguish over his ruined hope, and intercede for my pardon with that divine creature, whom in the intemperance and excess of passion I have so mortally offended. Could heaven is my guilt inexperable? Am I excluded from all hope of remission? Am I devoted to misery and despair? I have offered all the atonement which the most perfect and sincere penitence could suggest, and she rejects my humility and repentance. If her resentment would pursue me to the grave, let her signify her pleasure, and may I be branded with the name of villain, and remember with infamy and detestation to all posterity, if I hesitate one moment in sacrificing a life which is odious to Emilia. Oh, madam, while I thus pour forth the effusions of my grief and distraction, I look around the apartment in which I lie, and every well-known object that salutes my view recalls to my remembrance that fond, that happy day on which the fair, the good, the tender-hearted Sophie became my advocate, though I was a stranger to her acquaintance, and effected a transporting reconciliation between me and that same enchanting beauty that is now so implacably incensed. If she is not satisfied with the pangs of remorse and disappointment, the transports of madness I have undergone, let her prescribe what father penance she thinks I ought to endure, and when I decline her sentence, let me be the object of her eternal disdain. I commit myself, dear madam, dear Sophie, dear partner of my friend, to your kind interposition. I know you will manage my cause as a concern on which my happiness entirely depends, and I hope everything from your compassion and beneficence, while I fear everything from her rigor and barbarity. Yes, I call it barbarity, the savageness of delicacy altogether inconsistent with the tenderness of human nature, and may the most object contempt be my portion if I live under its scudge. But I begin to rave. I conjure you by your own humanity and sweetness of disposition. I conjure you by your love for the man whom heaven has decreed your protector to employ your influence with that angel of wrath, in behalf of your bleached and obedient servant, P. Pickle. This epistle was immediately transmitted by Godfrey to his wife, who perused it with marks of the most humane sympathy, and carrying it into her sister's chamber. Here is something, said she presenting the paper, which I must recommend to your serious attention. Emilia, who immediately guessed the meaning of this address, absolutely refused to look upon it, or even to hear it read, till her brother entering the apartment reprimanded her sharply for her obstinacy and pride, accused her of folly and dissimulation, and entered so warmly into the interests of his friend that she sought him unkind in his remonstrances, and bursting into a flood of tears reproached him with partiality and want of affection. Godfrey, who entertained the most perfect love and veneration for his sister, asked pardon for having given offence, and kissing the drops from her fair eyes, begged she would, for his sake, listen to the declaration of his friend. Thus solicited she could not refuse to hear the letter, which, when he had repeated, she lamented her own fate in being the occasion of so much unease in hers, desired her brother to assure Mr. Pickle that she was not a voluntary enemy to his peace. On the contrary, she wished him all happiness, though she hoped he would not blame her for consulting her own, in avoiding any future explanation or connection with a person whose correspondence she found herself under a necessity to renounce. In vain did the new married couple exhaust their eloquence in attempting to prove that the reparation which our hero had offered was adequate to the injury she had sustained, that in reconciling herself to a penitent lover who subscribed to her own terms of submission her honour would be acquitted by the most scrupulous and severe judges of decorum, and that her inflexibility would be justly ascribed to the pride and insensibility of her heart. She turned a deaf ear to all their arguments, exhortations and entreaties, and threatened to leave the house immediately if they would not promise to drop that subject of discourse. Godfrey very much chagrined at the bad success of his endeavours, returned to his friend, and made as favourable a report of the affair as the nature of his conversation with Emilia would permit. But as he could not avoid mentioning her resolution in the clothes, Periquin was obliged to drink again the bitter draft of disappointment, which put his passions into such a state of agitation as produced a short ecstasy of despair in which he acted a thousand extravagances. This paroxysm, however, soon subsided into a settled reserve of gloomy resentment, which he in secret indulged, detaching himself as soon as possible from the company of the soldier on pretence of retiring to rest. While he lay ruminating upon the circumstances of his present situation, his friend Pipes, who knew the causes of his anxiety and firmly believed that Emilia loved his master in her heart, how so ever she might attempt to disguise her sentiments, I say Thomas was taken with a conceit which he thought would set everything to rights, and therefore put it in execution without further delay. Laying aside his hat, he ran directly to the house of Sophie's father and effecting an air of surprise and consternation to which he had never before been subject, thundered at the door with such an alarming knock as in a moment brought the whole family into the hall. When he was admitted, he began to gape, stare and pant in time, and made no reply when Godfrey asked what was the matter, till Mistress Gauntlet expressed her apprehensions about his master. When Pickle's name was mentioned, he seemed to make an effort to speak and in a bellowing tone pronounced, brought himself up, split my topsoles. So saying, he pointed to his own neck and rose upon his tiptoes by way of explaining the meaning of his words. Godfrey, without staying to ask another question, rushed out and flew towards the inn with the utmost horror and concern. While Sophie, who did not rightly understand the language of the messenger, addressing herself to him a second time said, with great earnestness, I hope no accident has happened to Mr. Pickle. No accident at all, replied Tom. He has only hanged himself for love. These words had scarce proceeded from his mouth when Emilia, who stood listening at the parlour door, shrieked aloud and dropped down senseless upon the floor. While her sister, who was almost equally shocked at the intelligence, had recourse to the assistance of her maid by whom she was supported from falling. Pipes hearing Emilia's voice congratulated himself upon the success of his stratagem. He sprung to her assistance and, lifting her up into an easy chair, stood by her until he saw her recover from her swoon and heard her call upon his master's name with all the frenzy of despairing love. Then he bent his course back to the inn, overjoyed at the opportunity of telling Peregrine what a confession he had extorted from his mistress and extremely vain of this proof of his own sagacity. In the meantime, Godfrey arriving at the house in which he supposed this fatal catastrophe had happened, ran upstairs to Peregrine's chamber without staying to make any inquiry below and, finding the door locked, passed it open with one stroke of his foot. But what was his amazement when upon entrance our hero starting up from the bed saluted him with a boisterous exclamation of Zoons! Who's there? He was struck dumb with astonishment, which also riveted him to the place where he stood, scarce crediting the testimony of his own senses till Peregrine, with an air of discontent which denoted him displeased with his intrusion, dispelled his apprehension by a second address, saying, I see you consider me as a friend by your using me without ceremony. The soldier thus convinced of the falsehood of the information he had received began to imagine that Pickle had projected the plan which was executed by his servant and looking upon it as a piece of unjustifiable finesse which might be attended with very melancholy consequences to his sister or wife. He answered in a supercilious tone that Mr. Pickle must blame himself for the interruption of his suppose which was entirely owing to the sorry jest he had set on foot. Pickle, who was the child of passion and more than half mad with impatience before this visit, hearing himself treated in such a cavalier manner, advanced close up to God for his breast and assuming a stern or rather frantic countenance, Harkissa said he, you are mistaken if you think I jest. I am in downright earnest, I assure you. Gauntlet was not a man to be brow-beaten, seeing himself thus bearded by a person of whose conduct he had, he thought, reason to complain, put on his military look of defiance and erecting his chest, replied with an exalted voice. Mr. Pickle, whether you was in jest or earnest you must give me leave to tell you that the scheme was childish, unseasonable and unkind, not to give it an harsher term. Death, sir, cried our adventurer, you trifle with my disquiet. If there is any meaning in your insinuation explain yourself, and then I shall know what answer it will be fit me to give. I came with very different sentiments, resumed the soldier, but since you urge me to expostulation and behave with such unprovoked loftiness of displeasure I will, without circumlocution, tax you with having committed an outrage upon the peace of my family, a fellow to alarm us with such an abrupt account of your having done violence upon yourself. Peregrine, confounded at this, imputation stood silent, with the most savage aspect of surprise, eager to know the circumstance to which his accuser eluded and incensed to find it beyond the sphere of his comprehension. While these two irritated friends stood fronting each other with mutual indignation in their eyes and attitudes, they were joined by pipes, without taking the least notice of the situation in which he found them, told his master that he might up with the top-gallant masts of his heart and out with his rejoicing pendants, for as to mistress Emily, he had clapped her helmet-weather, the vessel wore, and now she was upon the other tack, standing right into the harbour of his good-well. Peregrine, who was not yet a connoisseur in the terms of his lackey, commanded him upon pain of his displeasure to be more explicit in his intelligence, and by dint of diverse questions obtained a perfect knowledge of the scheme which had been put in execution for his service. This information perplexed him not a little. He would have chastised his servant upon the spot for his temerity, had he not plainly perceived that the fellow's intention was to promote his ease and satisfaction, and on the other hand, he knew not how to acquit himself of the suspicion which he saw Godfrey entertain of his being the projector of the plan without condescending to an explanation which his present disposition could not broke. After some pause, however, turning to pipes with a severe frown, Rascal, said he, this is the second time I have suffered in the opinion of that lady by your ignorance and presumption. If ever you intermeddle in my affairs for the future without express order and direction, by all that's sacred, I will put you to death without mercy. Away and let my horse be saddled this instant. Pipes having withdrawn in order to perform this piece of duty, our young gentleman addressing himself again to the soldier and laying his hand upon his breast, said with a solemnity of regard, Captain Gauntlet, upon my honour I am altogether innocent of that shallow device which you impute to my invention, and I don't think you do justice either to my intellect or honour in supposing be capable of such insolent absurdity. As for your sister, I have once in my life affronted her in the madness and impetuosity of desire, but I have made such acknowledgement and offered such atonement as few women of her sphere would have refused. Before God I am determined to endure every torment of disappointment and despair rather than prostrate myself again to the cruelty of her unjustifiable pride. So saying he stalked suddenly downstairs and took horse immediately, his spirits being supported by resentment which prompted him to vow within himself that he would seek consolation for the disdain of Emilia in the possession of the first willing wench he should meet upon the road. While he set out for the garrison with these sentiments, Gauntlet, in a suspense between anger, shame and concern, returned to the house of his father-in-law, where he found his sister still violently agitated from the news of Peregrine's death, the mystery of which he forthwith unravelled, recounting at the same time the particulars of the conversation which had happened at the inn, and describing the demeanour of Pickle some expressions of asperity which were neither agreeable to Emilia, nor approved by the gentle Sophie who tenderly chid him for allowing Peregrine to depart in terms of misunderstanding. End of chapter 86 Chapter 87 of The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 2 by Tobias Smollett This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Martin Giesen Chapter 87 Peregrine sets out for the garrison and meets with a nymph of the road whom he takes into keeping and metamorphoses into a fine lady. In the meantime our hero jogged along in a profound reverie which was disturbed by a beggar woman and her daughter who solicited him for alms as he passed them on the road. The girl was about the age of sixteen and notwithstanding the wretched equipage in which she appeared exhibited to his view a set of agreeable features enlivened with the complexion of health and cheerfulness. The resolution I have already mentioned was still warm in his imagination and he looked upon this young mendicant as a very proper object for the performance of his vow. He therefore entered into a conference with the mother and for a small sum of money purchased her property in the wench who did not require much courtship and entreaty before she consented to accompany him to any place that he should appoint for her habitation. This contract being settled to his satisfaction he ordered pipes to seat his acquisition behind him upon the cropper and alighting at the first public house which they found upon the road he wrote a letter to Hatchway desiring him to receive this hedge in Amorata and direct her to be cleaned and clothed in a decent manner with all expedition so that she should be touchable upon his arrival which on that account he would defer for the space of one day. This be ye together with the girl he committed to the charge of pipes after having laid strong injunctions upon him to abstain from all attempts upon her chastity and ordered him to make the best of his way to the garrison while he himself crossed the country to a market town where he proposed to spend the night. Tom thus cautioned, proceeded with his charge and being naturally taciturn opened not his lips until he had performed the best half of his journey but Tom thus, notwithstanding his irony appearance was in reality composed of flesh and blood his desire being titillated by the contact of a buxom wench whose right arm embraced his middle as he rode his thoughts began to mutiny against his master and he found it almost impossible to withstand the temptation of making love nevertheless he wrestled with these rebellious suggestions with all the reason that heaven had enabled him to exert and that being totally overcome his victorious passion suddenly broke out in this address splod! I believe master thinks I have no more stuff in my body than a dried haddock to turn me adrift in the dark with such a spanker do you think he don't, my dear? to this question his fellow traveller replied swanker! a man! and the lover resumed his suit saying oh, so you tickle my timber something shoots from your arm through my stowage to the very keel stone and you've got quick silver in your hand quick silver! said the lady damn the silver that has crossed my eye and this month do you think if I had silver I shouldn't buy me a smock? I had soaks, yet baggage! cried the lover you shouldn't want a smock nor a pericoat neither if you could have a kindness for a true-hearted sailor a sound and strong as a nine-inch cable that would keep all clear above board and everything snug under the hatches cuss your gum! said the charmer what's your guy bowls and your hatchets to me? oh, do let us bring two a little answered the wooer whose appetite was by this time whetted to a most ratherness degree and I'll teach you to box the compass, my dear you strapper, what a jolly bitch you are bitch! exclaimed this modern dulcinea incensed at the appropriate term such a bitch as your mother, you dog damn you, have a good mind to box your jaws instead of your compass I'll let you know as how I am made for your master you saucy black-eyed, you are worse than a dog you old flinty-faced flea-bitten scrub a dog wears his own coat but you wear your masters such a torrent of disgraceful epithets from a person who had no clothes at all converted the gallant's love into colour and he threatened to dismount and seize her to a tree when she should have a taste of his cut and nine-tails that thwart her quarters but instead of being intimidated by his menaces she set him at defiance and held forth with such a flow of eloquence as would have entitled her to a considerable share of reputation even among the nymphs of Billingsgate for this young lady over and above a natural genius for altercation had her talents cultivated among the venerable society of weeders, podders and hoppers with whom she had associated from her tender years no wonder then that she soon obtained a complete victory over pipes who, as the reader may have observed was very little addicted to the exercise of speech indeed he was utterly disconcerted by her volubility of tongue and being altogether unfurnished with answers to the distinct periods of her discourse very wisely chose to save himself the expense of breath and argument by giving her a full swing of cable so that she might bring herself up while he rode onwards in silent composure without taking any more notice of his fair fellow traveller than if she had been his master's cloak bag in spite of all the dispatch he could make it was late before he arrived at the garrison where he delivered the letter and the lady to the lieutenant who no sooner understood the intention of his friend than he ordered all the tubs in the house to be carried into the hall and filled with water Tom, having provided himself with swabs and brushes divested the fair stranger of her variegated drapery which was immediately committed to the flames and performed upon her soft and sleek person the ceremony of scrubbing as it is practised on board of the king's ships of war yet the nymph herself did not submit to this purification without repining she cursed the director who was upon the spot with many abusive allusions to his wooden leg and as for pipes the operator she employed her talons so effectually upon his face that the blood ran over his nose in sundry streams and next morning when those rivulets were dry his countenance resembled the rough bark of a plum tree plastered with gum nevertheless he did his duty with great perseverance cut off her hair close to the scalp hungled his brushes with dexterity applied his swabs of different magnitude and texture as the case required and lastly rinsed the whole body with a dozen pales of cold water discharged upon her head these ablutions being executed he dried her with towels accommodated her with a clean shift and acting the part of a valet de chambre clothed her from head to foot in clean and decent apparel which had belonged to mistress hatchway by which means her appearance was altered so much for the better that when Perigrin arrived next day he could scarce believe his own eyes he was for that reason extremely well pleased with his purchase and now resolved to indulge a whim which seized him at the very instant of his arrival he had, as I believe the reader will readily allow made considerable progress in the study of character from the highest rank to the most humble station of life and found it diversified in the same manner through every degree of subordination and precedency nay, he moreover observed that the conversation of those who are dignified with the appellation of polite company is neither more edifying nor entertaining than that which is met with among the lower classes of mankind and that the only essential difference in point of demeanour is the form of an education which the meanest capacity can acquire without much study or application possessed of this notion he determined to take the young mendicant under his own tutorage and instruction in consequence of which he hoped he should in a few weeks to produce her in company as an accomplished young lady of uncommon wit and an excellent understanding this extravagant plan he forthwith began to execute with great eagerness and industry and his endeavours succeeded even beyond his expectation the obstacle in surmounting of which he found the greatest difficulty was an inveterate habit of swearing which had been indulged from her infancy and confirmed by the example of those among whom she had lived however she had the rudiments of good sense from nature which taught her to listen to wholesome advice and was so docile as to comprehend and retain the lessons which her governor recommended to her attention in so much that he ventured in a few days to present her at table among a set of country squires to whom she was introduced as a niece to the lieutenant in that capacity she sat with becoming easiness of mean for she was as void of the Mouvez entre as any duchess in the land bowed very graciously to the compliments of the gentleman and though she said little or nothing because she was previously cautioned on that score she more than once gave way to laughter and her mirth happened to be pretty well timed in a word she attracted the applause and admiration of the guests after she was withdrawn complimented Mr. Hatchway upon the beauty, breeding and good humour of his kinswoman but what contributed more than any other circumstance to her speedy improvement was some small insight into the primer which she had acquired at a day school during the life of her father who was a day labourer in the country upon this foundation did Peregrine build a most elegant superstructure he culled out choice sentences from Shakespeare Ottway and Pope and taught her to repeat them with an emphasis and theatrical cadence he then instructed her in the names and epithets of the most celebrated players which he directed her to pronounce occasionally with an air of careless familiarity and perceiving that her voice was naturally clear he enriched it with remnants of opera tunes to be hummed during a pause in conversation which is generally supplied with the circulation of a pinch of snuff by means of this cultivation she became a wonderful proficient in the polite graces of the age she with great facility comprehended the scheme of wist though Gribbage was her favourite game with which she had amused herself in her vacant hours from her first entrance into the profession of hopping and Bragg soon grew familiar to her practice and conception thus prepared she was exposed to the company of her own sex being first of all visited by the Parsons daughter who could not avoid showing that civility to Mr. Hatchway's niece after she had made her public appearance at church Mistress Clover, who had a great share of penetration could not help entertaining some doubts about this same relation whose name she had never heard the uncle mention during the whole term of her residence at the garrison but as the young lady was treated in that character she would not refuse her acquaintance and after having seen her at the castle actually invited Miss Hatchway to her house in short she made a progress through almost all the families in the neighbourhood and by dint of her quotations which by the by were not always judiciously used she passed for a sprightly young lady of uncommon learning and taste Peregrine having in this manner initiated her into the Beaumont of the country conducted her to London where she was provided with private lodgings and a female attendant and put her immediately under the tuition of his valet de chambre who had orders to instruct her in dancing and the French language he attended her to plays and concerts three or four times a week and when our hero thought her sufficiently accustomed to the sight of great company he squired her in person to a public assembly and danced with her among all the gay ladies of fashion not but that there was still an evident air of rusticity and awkwardness in her demeanour which was interpreted into an agreeable wildness of spirit superior to the forms of common breeding he afterwards found means to make her acquainted with some distinguished patterns of her own sex by whom she was admitted into the most elegant parties and continued to make good her pretensions to gentility with great circumspection but one evening being at cards with a certain lady whom she detected in the very fact of unfair conveyance she taxed her roundly with the fraud and brought upon herself such a torrent of sarcastic reproof as overbore all her maxims of caution and burst open the floodgates of her own natural repartee she twang'd off with the appellations of b***** and b***** which she repeated with great vehemence in an attitude of manual defiance to the terror of her antagonist and the astonishment of all present nay, to such an unguarded pitch was she provoked that starting up she snapped her fingers in testimony of disdain and as she quitted the room applied her hand to that part which was the last of her that disappeared inviting the company to kiss it by one of its coarsest denominations Peregrine was a little disconcerted at this oversight in her behaviour which by the dimon of intelligence was in a moment conveyed to all the private companies in town so that she was absolutely excluded from all polite communication and Peregrine for the present disgraced among the modest part of his female acquaintance many of whom not only forbade him their houses on account of the impudent insult he had committed upon their honour as well as understanding in palming a common trull upon them as a young lady of birth and education but also asperced his family by affirming that she was actually his own cousin German whom he had precipitately raised from the most abject state of humility and contempt in revenge for this columnary our young gentleman explains the whole mystery of her promotion together with the motives that induced him to bring her into the fashionable world and repeated among his companions the extravagant incomiums which had been bestowed upon her by the most discerning matrons of the age meanwhile the Infanta herself being rebuked by her benefactor for this instance of misbehaviour promised faithfully to keep a stricter guard for the future over her conduct and applied herself with great assiduity to the studies in which she was assisted by the Swiss who gradually lost the freedom of his heart while she was profiting by his instruction in other words she made a conquest of her preceptor who yielding to the instigations of the flesh chose a proper opportunity to declare his passion which was powerfully recommended by his personal qualifications and his intentions being honourable she listened to his proposals of espousing her in private in consequence of this agreement they made an elopement together and being buckled out of the fleet consumated their nuptials in private lodgings by the seven dials from which her husband next morning sent a letter to our hero begging forgiveness for the clandestine step he had taken which he solemnly protested was not owing to any abatement in his inviolable regard for his master whom he should always honour and esteem to his latest breath but entirely to the irresistible charms of the young lady to whom he was now so happy as to be joined in the silken bonds of mariage Peregrine though at first offended at his valet's presumption was upon second thoughts reconciled to the event by which he was delivered from an encumbrance for by this time he had performed his frolic and begun to be tired of his acquisition he reflected on the former fidelity of the Swiss which had been manifested in a long course of service and attachment and thinking it would be cruelly severe to abandon him to poverty and distress for one venial trespass he resolved to pardon what he had done and enable him in some shape to provide for the family which he had entailed upon himself with these sentiments he sent a favourable answer to the delinquent desiring to see him as soon as his passion should permit him to leave the arms of his spouse for an hour or two and Hodgey in obedience to this intimation repaired immediately to the lodgings of his master before whom he appeared with a most penitential aspect Peregrine though he could scarce help laughing at his rueful length of face reprimanded him sharply for his disrespect and ingratitude in taking that by stealth which he might have had for the asking the culprit assured him that next to the vengeance of God his master's displeasure was that witch of all evils he dreaded to incur but that love had distracted his brain in such a manner as to banish every other consideration but that of gratifying his desire and he owned that he should not have been able to preserve his fidelity and duty to his own father had they interfered with the interest of his passion he then appealed to his master's own heart for the remission of his guilt alluding to certain circumstances of our hero's conduct which evinced the desperate effects of love in short he made such an apology as extorted a smile from his offended judge who not only forgave his transgression but also promised to put him in some fair way of earning a comfortable subsistence the Swiss was so much affected with this instance of generosity that he fell upon his knees and kissed his hand praying to heaven with great fervour to make him worthy of such goodness and condescension his scheme he said was to open a coffee house and tavern in some creditable part of the town in hopes of being favoured with the custom of a numerous acquaintance he had made among upper servants and reputable tradesmen not doubting that his wife would be an ornament to his bar and a careful manager of his affairs Peregrine approved of the plan towards the execution of which he made him and his wife a present of five hundred pounds together with a promise of erecting a weekly club among his friends for the reputation and advantage of the house Haji was so transported with his good fortune that he ran to pipes who was in the room and having hugged him with great cordiality and made his obedience to his master hide him home to his bride to communicate his happiness cutting capers and talking to himself all the way End of Chapter 87 Chapter 88 of The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 2 by Tobias Smollett This LibriVox recording is in the public domain Recording by Martin Giesen Chapter 88 He is visited by Palette Contracts an intimacy with a new market nobleman and is by the knowing ones taken in This affair being settled and our adventurer for the present free of all female connections he returned to his former course of fast living among the bucks of the town and performed innumerable exploits among whores, bullies, rooks, constables and justices of the peace In the midst of these occupations he was one morning visited by his old fellow traveller Palette whose appearance gave him equal surprise and concern Though the weather was severe he was clothed in the thin summer dress which he had wore at Paris and was now not only threadbare but in some parts actually patched His stockings by a repetition of that practice known among economists by the term of coaxing hung like pudding bags about his ankles His shirt though new washed was of the saffron hue and in divers places appeared through the crannies of his britches He had exchanged his own hair for a smoke dried Thai periwig which all the flower in his drudging box had not been able to whiten His eyes were sunk, his jaws lengthened beyond their usual extension and he seemed twenty years older than he looked when he and our hero parted at Rotterdam In spite of all these evidences of decay he accosted him with a meagre affectation of content and good humour Struggled piteously to appear gay and unconcerned professed his joy at seeing him in England excused himself for having delayed so long to come and present his respects alleging that since his return he had been a mere slave to the satisfaction of some persons of quality and taste who had insisted upon his finishing some pieces with the utmost expedition Peregrine received him with that compassion and complacence which was natural to his disposition inquired about the health of Mistress Pallet and his family and asked if his friend the doctor was in town The painter seemed to have resumed his resentment against that gentleman of whom he spoke in contemptuous terms The doctor said he is so much overshadowed with presumption and self-conceit that his merit has no relief It does not rise There is no keeping in the picture, my dear sir All the same as if I were to represent the moon under a cloud There will be nothing but a deep mass of shade with a tiny little speck of light in the middle which would only serve to make, as it were, the darkness visible You understand me Had he taken my advice it might have been better for him but he's bigoted to his own opinion You must know, Mr Pickle, upon our return to England I counseled him to compose a little smart, clever ode upon my Cleopatra As dad shall judge me I thought it would have been of some service in helping him out of obscurity For you know, as Sir Richard observes Soon will that die which adds thy fame to mine Let me then live joined to a work of thine By the by there is some most picturesque contrast in these lines of thy and me, living and dying, and thine and mine Pies upon it Dick, after all, was the man He caught, he rounded it off But to return to this unhappy young man Would you believe it, he tossed up his nose at my friendly proposal and gabbled something in Greek which is not worth repeating The case was this, my dear sir He was out of humour at the neglect of the world He thought the poets of the age were jealous of his genius and strove to crush it accordingly while the rest of mankind wanted taste sufficient to discern it For me own part I profess myself one of these And as the clown in Billy Shakespeare says of the courtier's oath Had I sworn by the doctor's genius that the pancakes were not They might have been for all that very good Yet, shouldn't I have been foresworn? Let that be as it will He retired from town in great dudgeon and set up his rest near a hill in Derbyshire with two tops resembling Parnassus And well at the bottom which he had christened He put the green Oh, God, if he stays in that habitation it is my opinion he'll soon grow green with the hip indeed He'll be glad of an opportunity to return to the flesh-pots of Egypt and pay his court to the slighted queen Cleopatra Ha! well remembered by this light You shall know, my good sir, that this same Egyptian princess has been courted by so many gallants of taste that as I hope to live I found myself in some sort of dilemma because in parting with her to one I should have disobleached all his rivals Now a man would not choose to give offence to his friends At least I lay it down as a maxim to avoid the smallest appearance of ingratitude Perhaps I may be in the wrong, but every man has his way For this reason I proposed to all the candidates that a lottery or raffle should be set on foot by which every individual would have an equal chance for her good-graces and the prize be left to the decision of fortune The scheme was mightily relished and the terms being such a trifle as half a guinea the whole town crowded into me house in order to subscribe But where I was there humble servant Gentlemen, you must have a little patience till my own particular friends are served Among that number I do myself the honor to consider Mr. Pickle Here is a copy of the proposals and if the list should be adorned with his name I hope not withstanding his merited success among the young ladies he will for once be shunned by that little vixen called Miss Fortune So saying he bowed with a thousand apish conges and presented his paper to Peregrine who seeing the number of subscribers was limited to one hundred said he thought him too moderate in his expectations as he did not doubt that his picture would be a cheap purchase at five hundred instead of fifty pounds at which the price was fixed To this unexpected remark Pallet answered that among the connoisseurs he would not pretend to appraise his picture but at invaluing his works he was obliged to have an eye to the gothic ignorance of the age in which he lived Our adventurer saw it once into the nature of this raffle which was no other than a begging shift to dispose of a paltry piece that he could not otherwise have sold for twenty shillings However, far from shocking the poor man in distress by dropping the least hint of his conjecture he desired to be favored with six chances if the circumstances of his plan would indulge him so far and the painter, after some hesitation condescended to comply with his request out of pure friendship and veneration though he observed that in doing so he must exclude some of his most intimate companions Having received the money he gave Pickle his address desiring he would, with his convenience, visit the princess who he was sure would display her most engaging attractions in order to captivate his fancy and took his leave extremely well pleased with the success of his application though Peregrine was tempted with the curiosity of seeing this portrait which he imagined must contain some analogy to the ridiculous oddity of the painter he would not expose himself to the disagreeable alternative of applauding the performance contrary to the dictates of conscience and common sense all of condemning it to the unspeakable mortification of the miserable orca and therefore never dreamt of returning the painter's visit nor did he ever hear of the lotteries being drawn about this time he was invited to spend a few weeks at the country seat of a certain nobleman with whom he had contracted an acquaintance in the course of his debauchies which we have already described his ludge ship being remarkable for his skill and success in horse racing his house was continually filled with the connoisseurs and admirers of that sport upon which the whole conversation turned in so much that Peregrine gradually imbibed some knowledge in horse flesh and the diversions of the course for the whole occupation of the day exclusive of eating and drinking consisted in viewing, managing and exercising his ludge ship's stud our hero looked upon these amusements with an eye of taste as well as curiosity he contemplated the animal as a beautiful and elegant part of the creation and relished the surprising exertion of its speed with refined and classical delight in a little time he became personally acquainted with every horse in the stable and interested himself in the reputation of each while he also gratified his appetite for knowledge in observing the methods of preparing their bodies and training them to the race his landlord saw and encouraged his eagerness from which he promised himself some advantage he formed several private matches for his entertainment and flattered his discernment by permitting him to be successful in the first bets he made thus was he artfully a decoyed into a spirit of keenness and adventure and disposed to depend upon his own judgment in opposition to that of people who had made horse racing the sole study of their lives he accompanied Millard to Newmarket and entering at once into the genius of the place was marked as fair game by all the knowing ones there assembled many of whom found means to take him in in spite of all the cautions and admonitions of his lordship who wanted to reserve him for his own use it is almost impossible for any man let him be never so fearful or phlegmatic to be an unconcerned spectator in this busy scene the diamond of play hovers in the air like a pestilential vapour tainting the minds of all present with infallible infection which communicates from one person to another like the circulation of a general panic Peregrine was seized with this epidemic distemper to a violent degree and after having lost a few loose hundreds in his progress through the various rookeries of the place entered into partnership with his noble friend in a grand match upon the issue of which he ventured no less than three thousand pounds indeed he would not have risked such a considerable sum had not his own confidence been reinforced by the opinion and concurrence of his lordship who hazarded an equal bet upon the same event these two associates engaged themselves in the penalty of six thousand pounds to run one shares and four against another three times round the course and our adventurer had the satisfaction of seeing his antagonist distanced in the first and second heat but all of a sudden one of the horses of his machine was knocked up by which accident the victory was ravished almost from his very grasp and he was obliged to endure the damage and the scorn he was deeply affected with this misfortune which he imputed to his own extravagance and temerity but discovered no external signs of affliction because his illustrious partner bore his loss with the most philosophic resignation consoling himself as well as Pickle with the hope of making it up on some other occasion nevertheless our young gentleman could not help admiring and even envying his equanimity not knowing that his lordship had managed matters so as to be the gainer by the misfortune which to retrieve Peregrine purchased several horses at the recommendation of his friend and instead of returning to London made a tour with him to all the celebrated races in England at which after several vicissitudes of fortune he made shift before the end of the season to treble his loss but his hopes seemed to increase with his ill luck in the beginning of winter he came to town fully persuaded that fortune must necessarily change and that next season he should reap the happy fruits of his experience in this confidence he seemed to drown all ideas of prudence and economy his former expense was mere parsimony compared with that which he now incurred he subscribed to the opera and half a dozen concerts at different parts of the town was a benefactor to several hospitals purchased a collection of valuable pictures took a house and furnished it in a most magnificent taste laid in a large stock of French wines and gave extravagant entertainments to his quality friends who in return loaded him with compliment and insisted upon his making use of their interest and goodwill End of Chapter 88 Part 1 of Chapter 89 of The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 2 by Tobias Smollett This LibriVox recording is in the public domain Recording by Martin Geeson Chapter 89 Part 1 He is taken into the protection of a great man sets up for member of parliament is disappointed in his expectation and finds himself egregiously outwitted Among these professed patrons the greatest part of whom Peregrine saw through there was one great personage who seemed to support with dignity the sphere in which fortune had placed him his behaviour to Pickle was not a series of grinning complacence in a flat repetition of general expressions of friendship and regard he demeaned himself with a seemingly honest reserve in point of profession his advances to Peregrine appeared to be the result of deliberation and experiment he chidged the young gentleman for his extravagance with the authority of a parent and the sincerity of a fast friend and having by gradual inquiries made himself acquainted with the state of his private affairs contempt his conduct with an air of candour and concern he represented to him the folly and dangerous consequences of the profligate life into which he had plunged himself counseled him with great warmth to sell off his racehorses which would otherwise insensibly eat him up to retrench all superfluous expense which would only serve to expose him to the ridicule and ingratitude of those who were benefitted by it to lay out his money upon secure mortgages at good interest and carry into execution his former design of standing candidate for a borough and the ensuing election for a new parliament in which case this nobleman promised to assist him with his influence and advice assuring him that if he could once procure a seat in the house he might look upon his fortune as already made our adventurer perceived the wisdom and sanity of this advice for which he made his acknowledgements to his generous monitor protesting that he would adhere to it in every particular and immediately set about a reformation he accordingly took cognizance of his most minute affairs and after an exact scrutiny gave his patron to understand that exclusive of his furniture his fortune was reduced to fourteen thousand three hundred and thirty pounds in bank and South Sea annuities over and above the garrison and its appendages which he reckoned at sixty pounds a year he therefore desired that as his lardship had been so kind as to favour him with his friendship and advice he would extend his generosity still farther by putting him in a way of making the most advantage of his money my lard said that for his own part he did not choose to meddle in money matters that Mr. Pickle would find abundance of people ready to borrow it upon land security but that he ought to be extremely cautious in a transaction of such consequence promising at the same time to employ his own steward in seeking out a mortgager to whom it might be safely lent this agent was accordingly set at work and for a few days made a fruitless inquiry so that the young gentleman was obliged to have recourse to his own intelligence by which he got notice of several people of reputed credit who offered him mortgages for the whole sum but when he made a report of the particulars to his noble friend his lardship started such doubts and objections relating to each that he was deterred from entering into any engagements with the proposers congratulating himself in the meantime on his good fortune in being favoured with the advice and direction of such a sage counsellor nevertheless he began to be impatient after having unsuccessfully consulted all the money brokers and conveyances about town and resolved to try the expedient of a public advertisement but he was persuaded by Milard to postpone that experiment until every other method should have failed because it would attract the attention of all the petty-foggers in London who though they might not be able to over-reach would infallibly harass and tease him at all tranquillity it was on the back of this conversation that Peregrine chancing to meet the steward near his lard's house stopped him in the street to give him an account of his bad luck which the other expressed some concern and rubbing his chin with his hand in a musing posture told Pickle there was a thought just come into his head pointing out one way of doing his business effectively the youth upon this intimation begged he would accompany him to the next coffee-house in which having chosen a private situation this grave manager gave him to understand that a part of Milard's estate was mortgaged in consequence of a debt contracted by his grandfather for provision to the younger children of the family and that the equity of redemption would be foreclosed in a few months unless the burden could be discharged Milard said he has always lived in a splendid manner and notwithstanding his ample fortune to gather the profits accruing from the posts he enjoys he saves so little money that upon this occasion I know he will be obliged to borrow ten thousand pounds to make up the sum that is requisite to redeem the mortgage now certain I am that when his design comes to be known he will be solicited on all hands by people desirous of lending money upon such undoubted security and his odds that he has already promised the preference to some particular acquaintance however as I know he has your interest very much at heart I will, if you please, sound his ladship upon the subject and in a day or two I will give you notice of my success Peregrine ravaged with the prospect of settling this affair so much to his satisfaction thanked the steward for his friendly hint and undertaking which he assured him should be acknowledged by a more solid proof of his gratitude provided the business could be brought to bear and next day he was visited by this kind manager with the happy news of his ladships having consented to borrow ten thousand pounds of his stock upon mortgage at the interest of five percent this information he received as an instance of the singular esteem of his noble patron and the papers being immediately drawn and executed the money was deposited in the hands of the mortgager who in the hearing of the lender laid injunctions on his steward to pay the interest punctually at quarter-day the best part of our hero's fortune being thus happily deposited and the agent gratified with a present of fifty pieces he began to put his retrenching scheme in execution all his servants, pipes accepted, were discharged his chariot and running horses disposed of his housekeeping broke up and his furniture sold by auction nay, the heat of his disposition was as remarkable in this as in any other transaction of his life for every step of his saving project was taken with such eagerness and even precipitation that most of his companions thought he was either ruined or mad but he answered all their expostulations with a string of prudent apathems such as the shortest follies are the best better to retrench upon conviction than compulsion and diverse other wise maxims seemingly the result of experience and philosophic reflection to such a degree of enthusiasm did his present economy prevail that he was actually seized with the desire of amassing and as he every day received proposals from those brokers whom he had employed about the disposal of his cash he at length ventured fifteen hundred pounds upon bottomry being tempted by the excessive premium but it must be observed for the honour of our adventurer that this reformation did not at all interfere with the good qualities of his heart he was still as friendly and benevolent as ever though his liberality was more subject to the restraint of reason and he might have justly pleaded in vindication of his generosity that he retrenched the superfluities in his own way of living in order to preserve the power of assisting his fellow creatures in distress numberless were the objects to which he extended his charity in private indeed he exerted this virtue in secret not only on account of avoiding the charge of ostentation but also because he was ashamed at being detected in such an awkward unfashionable practice by the sensorious observers of this humane generation in this particular he seemed to confound the ideas of virtue and vice for he did good as other people do evil by stealth and was so capricious in point of behaviour that frequently in public he wagged his tongue in satirical, animad versions upon that poverty which his hand had in private relieved yet far from shunning the acquaintance or discouraging the solicitation of those who he thought wanted his assistance he was always accessible, open and complacent to them even when the haughtiness of his temper kept his superiors at a distance and often saved a modest man the anguish and confusion of declaring himself by penetrating into his necessity and anticipating his request in a frank offer of his purse and friendship not that he practised this beneficence to all the needy of his acquaintance without distinction there is always a set of idle, profligate fellows who having squandered away their own fortunes and conquered all sense of honour and shame maintained themselves by borrowing from those who have not yet finished the same career and want resolution to resist their importunate demands to these he was always inflexible though he could not absolutely detach himself from their company because by dint of effrontery and such of their original connections as they have been able to retain they find admission to all places of fashionable resort several unsuccessful attacks had been made upon his pocket by beggars of this class one of the most artful of them having one day joined him in the mail and made the usual observation on the weather damned all the fogs of London and began a dissertation on the difference of air preferring that of the country in which he was born to any climate under the sun was you ever in Gloucestershire said he to Peregrine who replying in the negative he thus went on I have got a house there but I should be glad to see you let us go down together during the Easter holidays I can promise you good country fare and wholesome exercise for I have everything within myself and as good a pack of foxhounds as any in the three kingdoms I shan't pretend to expatiate upon the elegance of the house which to be sure is an old building and these you know are generally cold and not very convenient but cast the house the datty acres about it are the thing and a damned fine parcel they are to be sure if my old grandmother was dead she can't live another season what is turned a forescar and quite wall out yes for that matter I believe I have got a letter in my pocket giving an account of her being despaired of by the doctors let me see no damn it I left it at home in a pocket of another coat Pickle who from the beginning of this harang saw its tendency seemed to yield the most serious attention to what he said breaking in upon it every now and then with the interjections hmmmm the deuce and several civil questions from which the other conceived happy omens of success till perceiving they had advanced as far as the passage into St. James's the mischievous youth interrupted him all at once saying I see you are for the end of the walk this is my way with these words he took his leave of the saunterer who would have delayed his retreat by calling to him aloud but he had not yet described the situation of his castle but Peregrine without stopping answered in the same tone another time will do as well and in a moment disappeared leaving the projector very much mortified with his disappointment for his intention was to close the description with the demand of twenty pieces to be repaid out of the first remittance he should receive from his estate end of part one of chapter 89