 And he can't find women because he's too nervous. So we do all the talking for it breathe baby daddy is here now Oh, thank God for that. It was getting close flatline there for a second Daddy can make you feel nice and relaxed Daddy wants to give you a little cuddle little cuddle followed by a tight squeeze and a passionate drill I could settle with that. I will rain down on your family You have no idea who you're talking to or what I'm capable of that is not your opening Oh So number 29 Shazen motor claim 29 29 29. Yep. Wow not a bad number at all All right, so 29 and guess what before even say a word the tickets are on sale for our live Podcast show right where we've we've sent them to the website members So a portion may already be sold you guys are the next in line. Link is in the description the event bright It's on November the 12 11th November the 11th which is a Saturday and we're going out drinking after and there's a Small bar tab that we're putting on with the event that we're going to and it's just gonna be a wild fun night It's gonna be hectic. You shit everybody. We're gonna be there. We're gonna be there And when you see let's all go out like couple drinks after and say I'll be there in my wheelchair All right, well looks like fuck man, what's been going on bruh like what's been going on? We went off to we went to see the Xfc fights on Saturday We got invited and we got to sit at the table and watch all the fights man amateur MMA is Incredibly entertaining to water fun because they're just like they're over so quickly the fights because it's just Like the defense isn't as good. So they just people just get like knocked out cold quickly Yeah, they just they just swing and swing until someone goes down. Yeah, man very there are some very good Fighters there who do very well, but yes couple just go for it And then we all went to the casino and lost money. Hey, oh 30 dollars down. Yeah, fuck We should have gone now to the roulette. Yeah, but blackjack so much funer I'm saying I'll stay over and over again. I feel like if you keep winning you won't stop You just be I'll stay and just until your money's gone because it's not I think it's about winning for you It's just enjoying the moment messing with the other players I love just talking to the dealer. We kept pretending like we had a bribe going with the deal All the manager was walking past. What was his name clay or Dylan? Gin no, no, there's another one. Yeah, Kyle Kyle and we changed his name to John Michael kept saying Kyle do you want to come and sleep over tonight? I Think he was fine with everything until I asked him if he'd ever had an abortion and then he's like no That one's too much Then they swapped out Probably because he has Very personal It's been our bloody that's been our bloody week and weekend Oh, we filmed a very a very good video last week. Look Michael really didn't want to do it It's it was a nerve-wracking video so and Michael didn't want to do it So me and James secretly had to organize it and then And the video was we were contacting aged care retirement homes around Brisbane saying oh, hey, we're We're a performance group called the Northside sweethearts and we do volunteer performances in aged care homes And one of them replied was oh, yeah, sounds great. Come on in So we got shirts made up and then Michael I went in there. I thought it was cancelled I thought we weren't doing this anymore and then they spring it to me the day before We had to come up with a routine and yeah, we were 20 minutes long we rehearsed once here at home and then we went and It's like a 15 20 minute performance and yeah, it's safe to send like Julie's editing it now It'll have to be a website video first just because They emailed us after we left and we're like, you know, that's not appropriate like they're a little bit upset But like what we didn't hurt anyone we didn't do anything inappropriate We just did really strange performances. We danced weird. We did weird singing. We did like Really stupid like talent competitions. Somebody who's on the nurse recognized you immediate We're looking at the footage now after yeah, you can see that some of the nurses recognize and are freaking out during our performance And then we just got out of there and yeah, it was a bloody lunch beautiful video. See how fun that was I Wasn't fun. It was terrifying. It was so weird He's playing this over-friendly character that he does that is just like yeah, hi Hello, like oh, you just want to hit him and he's just just that he feels comfortable more like that than himself It's easier if you're pretending to be someone else It's it's easier because you can just blame all the feelings that you have on that character that you're playing Okay, it's like it's not really you that's happening to like maybe yeah, that's what we do in real life Maybe I should work on that. Yeah, the hundred percent people do that in real life That's why like fighters they have this like tough guy persona because the tough guy persona. He doesn't get scared He doesn't get hurt. He just goes in and fucking hits his wife. Just flush on the chin That's why I like female swimmers have huge shoulders Huge fucking shoulders Matt. Okay Why do you look like that? What do you mean? Nothing, okay And what did you do on the weekend man? Well, I went to the fights. Oh, yeah, Matt came Yeah, yeah on Friday. I was really sick And you got it so on me still That's getting better And yeah, so I slept a little bit and then I came out to find that everyone was just in the living room watching worms Yeah, for I don't know. We had a bit of a worm sesh didn't we a and Marty took a photo of me that he thought was Well James took it and yeah, it's James took it. It is. Yeah. I'd love to I think we should put it in the group in the University of Michael group You were holding a fake gun though, so you will just have to be careful. Maybe if we blow that out Yeah, Matt just had had enough with life and he was just dressed in all black. It looks very very funny I was having a rant And Bozy's still going strong. It's been like like nearly he's coming up to a month now And they gave him a few days. I'm convinced into the it's the medication. So now I'm just like so Ain't all about giving it to him and I still get anxiety when he's home alone. So he's just Aside from that. He's just fucking normal now. He kicked on for like another year. I know I fucking know That's cray. It'd be great. He's so energetic, but I still just don't want to get my hopes up too high But yeah, it's like chasing flies around today. It's good Still going for walks every day. It's just fucking like he's he right, you know Sponsors sponsors well, we got it. Oh wait, what the fuck have you got more shit? Yeah, what crime did you come? Oh? Matt just came home and goes I committed a crime. Yeah, fuck I fucked up So I was um, I was collecting PO box Today, did you go through your first orange light? No, just wait, you've never gone. You drove past a school. No, I did one more weekend Remember you I did it and you guys all got excited you lidded No, so what happened was I went picked up PO box and there was I had to go into the post office Now usually when I go to the post office, I always get myself a fresh new batch of stickers because I've got a big There's I told you they are the stickers Were you fingered? No. Yeah, and anyway I went up there and I had a package in my hand that was in the PO box And I had a little slip for a bigger package and I picked my stickers out What money's gonna find Never do that to interrupt this and Yeah, and I went up to to get them and I forgot to put the stickers up I had it under I had it with the package and it was behind the package And I just forgot and I I shop lifted from straight up. Oh, he keeps a fuck That's so like you can shop lift. It's you're allowed to shop lift these days. I reckon I felt terrible I stole stickers from my sticker supplier. So let's let's let's call them. Should I ring them? No, I'll just say hey, I'm really sorry. I apologize, but I am I shop lifted today. I'm calling them. Yeah Yeah, well, I reckon it was a complete accident and I'll go pay but I just so you've never shop lifted before. Yeah What have you been? I've been a straight up post like I've shoplifted from places that I felt deserved to be shop lifted from Yeah, I reckon every business apart from play what posts what? the one hour one the I Got you. I got you. Here's a good tip if you are getting bananas get organic and charge them as regular. So all right Let's do this. Let's this is a prank call right now. Okay, this is sure. Yes So you so you what accidentally stole them? What'd you put them in your pocket and forget about it? They were behind another package So do you want me to show it now? Welcome to Australia post Can you please tell me how we can assist you today? Yeah, sure, my name is Matt crown Thank you Matt. How can I help you today? Yeah, so I so I came in today and I picked up some stuff from a PO box and So this is kind of sound like quite suspicious and I'm actually really sorry I feel so guilty about it Well, I was putting the PO box or getting the PO box I accidentally picked up some of your stickers and I've slid them in between some of my papers and I've completely Forgotten they were there and then when I got back out to my car I saw that the stickers were in between the papers and I've taken them and I did not pay I did not pay for the stickers Yeah Is that okay like seriously I can come in like later today I'm just at work now and I've asked my boss if I can leave but he said no, I can't I can't leave for that So I like I swear to God like I can come in next time I'm available, but like I work nine to five So it's like so difficult for me to get to you guys because you guys also are open nine to five, right? Yeah, so it's like so hard for me to get to you But like I just don't want this to go any further like I it's complete and proper mistake And I'm honestly I'm so so sorry like I get stickers from you guys all the time And I've just completely forgotten that they were in between my papers. You have to believe me. I'm so sorry Okay, so you so everything's okay you guys aren't gonna like call the police or anything Oh my god, you have no idea how much relief I'm feeling through my entire body right now. I was like so scared Yeah, yeah, yeah, just just just the one and take them yet That's when I always go to like I cuz like I felt so bad cuz like I know some of you guys there and like we Like have chats and stuff and I feel so bad I was like, oh these guys are gonna actually think that I've stolen from you And I was like that's gonna just ruin my entire relationship with the entire post office And I just I could really just couldn't handle it. I've been able to really function today Yeah, all right sweet. Well, I should be able to come in you guys aren't open on weekends though. Why are you? Just to take them on the one of the take them shops there Help me What's that sorry Take them For four zero one eight is the postcode there So is do you know the opening hours for that one is you guys like open on weekends or anything Yeah, they're normally open on that on a Saturday. Oh, that's perfect. Okay, sweet. Okay. Well, that's perfect then So is it okay if I hang on to the stickers? I won't take them out of the packet I'll leave them in the packet and then I'll bring them in on Saturday, and then I'll pay for them then is that okay? Yes, okay, perfect. Thank you so much. What was your name again? Sorry. I'll just say why not When I'm okay, okay, sweet. So I'll just I'll just tell them that I've spoken to you And it's okay And can you just maybe make a note or something and just say that Matt Matt crown is coming Make a little note of Matt crown coming in and I'm just to pay for the stickers Thank you so much you've been so helpful. Thank you See you later Screaming help me Oh my god, I wish you played up came all because you said okay Okay, okay, anyway, I couldn't hear a name. I didn't know what she's saying Oh, dude, do you think she'll call the post office that I go to and be like, hey, I think this guy stole We've got it like I reckon that's a new thing. He knows scream like help me I talked to the same guy every time and I make a sticker joke. We could call just strangers and do that Dude, I'm gonna be the new screaming segment dude. I'm gonna start. Oh, yeah I'm gonna start just doing that when we're all head in public. I reckon yeah It is you've got a great scream. You're very blessed. Yeah. Yeah, I feel lucky. Do your best help me scream Yeah, you're better than mine Anyway, so that's the prank call done we got fucking plenty of other shit coming up We got Matt verse Michael. We got tinder adventures taking a beautiful turn. Fuck. Are we checking the lion's segment? Maybe a Let's do sponsors Did you know That for only $1 a week You can sponsor a child in fuck that shit Go to manscape.com and use our discount code Fully actual 20 and get 20% of male grooming products so you can groom yourself So you can get sucked off anywhere you go. Can't I know looking at you you won't get sucked off Well, you need a smooth fellas and smooth Beautiful delicate testicles to head to manscape.com and get rid of your hair and get rid of your cum Oh Also for women, but also if you are a bit of an entrepreneur buy the products for 20% off add 10% onto the product sell it you make 10% profit and Look, you're helping us too and it's Father's Day in Australia soon and I bought one for Greg They got perfect father's day gift head to manscape.com use our discount code fully actual 20 link is in the description and get Your fucking dad a big pack. So he's balls and I some smooth Next time he's ramming away at your wife. No mom your mom mom. Oh, unless your dad fucks her Which it does happen. It does and of course a G1 a G1 is the newest latest health powder that Fucking saves you man. Cheers Matt's got some right now. It's 75 vital nutrients and and and it's it's shit You don't get every day. All right, you got your normal diet. You have your fucking steak and veg on a Monday You have your fucking pizza on your Tuesday. You got your lasagna on your Wednesday and so on and so forth Well, guess what you're missing out. You're missing out on shit. You didn't even know you need it We can outsource it Go to a g1.com and use our discount code fully actual link is in the description You get a free travel pack. It's a monthly subscription. It rocks up at your door It's a party you put it in a glass of water one a day and I promise you you will feel the difference Okay, we're not the only cunts who rave about this and use it. Look at my fucking fat jiggle Oh Yeah, and it's just fucking healthy shit, man It rocks up a door and you don't got to worry about it anymore And it's green ha ha it is I'm also for women. Cheers So yeah, it's get around it and of course our website our new and improved website We have two new content creators on their Kylovik and Zach arse and man They do some fucking wild shit Kylovik wants to come and film with us and we're like kind of scared because we are fucking Pussies compared to him. I reckon it's gonna be motivating. Do you guys gonna get you guys gonna do something? Yeah, but we'll probably like hurt ourselves. Yeah, we'll probably it'll go wrong. It would be real scared Snap our wrist or something Oh As long as it's one each There's a 21 day free trial link in the description you can see all the videos We have over 270 videos Michael and I personally have on there. All right, and they're all fucking crazy and amazing I don't know what website videos out right now because it's two weeks ahead. We're two weeks ahead on the podcast. So You're listening to this in the future. Does that make sense? But we just posted a blindfolded slap fight where Michael and I we get in a ring We blindfold ourselves and we have nothing but our fucking hands to slap each other and it is intense Is this where James is the ring girl? Yes Not just our hands. We did a belt round. We did another round of fucking like I can't even remember did a belt round too. There was an even harder round The belt round was the worst I think but yeah, it gets pretty hectic and Do you want? Yeah, that's out now. It's been out for two weeks. So you go to our website universityofmichael.com No, it's a welcome dot. It's link in the description. We got a new link now to the new website All right, it's a brand spanking you can comment you can search for old videos So you can easily go and type oh nail gun and the nail gun video come up You can see Michael nearly die. There's that you can see the fucking Ask to ask volcano video where Michael nearly died and see julian woods grinding me naked And you'll be able to see us fucking with the retirement village people as well That one's coming out. So helping but we call it helping. Yeah providing entertainment to those of need How many hours of video is it? Do you reckon? Did you know the number? Oh, man? If I'm gonna say 150 And then how many hours is it taken to put all that together? It's taken four years. Yeah Well, even more because it's some of the footage is from before four years. Yeah, we had before four years So again, it's like five I'm gonna say five years of work Of weekly work. Yeah, like weekly work And now two new creators which we'll be doing their weekly work and we're gonna find more creators as long as the website keeps growing We're gonna find more creators and like I said, we our dream is we want to have like a Website of just fucked up dudes that post tricks that post stuff You can't post the social media because Let's be honest You know social media the rules are tightening tighter and tighter ever changing and for those people who do want to make out their content This is it. Yeah, this is all you can do and also You may have noticed that the podcasts have had to be cleaned up a little bit to keep them on this platform Yep, but um, you can always watch the full audio versions on spotify, but you're not missing out on much So don't stress and hopefully we'll have the video for the spotify attached. We've we're fine-tuning the The censoring stuff. So we like we're not going to be cutting You know, we're not cutting out large chunks of stuff. There's just certain words and certain senses sentences There's some Real that have to be cut. So if you're like fucked up shit and want to hear a bit more fucked up there to the spotify But but don't but you also stop watching us. Yeah, please. Please. I'm just I just I just really want you guys to just be happy with me Stop Oh, yeah, we can't have that up there anymore. Sorry. Really? We can't even talk about what it was No, we can put it back. We're in talks with them. It's soap. Did that really come up as a issue? Yeah Yeah, it's very horns Davidson, but look it's all this and that and bits like this and there time Look at Matt's eyes Dating around the room Imagine if Matt was a drug dealer and you come and collect a bag of fucking meth off in many's dress like that Yes, you figured it out Yep, we did unless fucking have our very first bong break and we'll be right back with matt first michael Because you've got We've got And we're back All right, it's time For mad first my who won last week me I think I think he's won behind now. Yeah, he's won. It's 14 13 go It's All right, this is matt first michael and this is where matt and michael go head to head against each other Every single week and we tally up how many wins they have and whoever's winning by the end of the season gets to keep matt's bottle Just no longer sitting here. We can't show you no longer sitting here, but you know what we're talking about It is the most vital piece of fluid vital ever existed vital It makes life and for today's matt verse michael Bring it in james Oh, no, do we close our eyes? Yes. They close your eyes until the for clients and the for client I'm scared because you've got what we've oh i'm scared. Yeah, I can see shadow. Nothing can hurt you. Nothing will hurt you Oh, I don't want to see it. Oh Look at james. All right, open your eyes Open your eyes What's in the middle? All right. You've done something. Listen closely. Listen closely. All right This you look so cool matt share and sit down. Yeah. Yeah, this isn't fair because I hate peanut butter Pull up a stomp matt loves peanut butter. Oh, dude. I'm not a big fan of weed Now so it's fair then you don't like weed bigs. You don't like peanut butter This is an old old trick that I learned that got taught at a high Primary school camp. It's a peanut butter and weed pigs. They're very hard to eat And it's going to be an eating competition to see who can finish theirs first Okay, we have two weed bigs with a big thick strip of peanut butter in the middle, but it's delicious and sweet This is good. I'm so out of my comfort zone. I do not feel like eating. No, I don't think so after you finish Can we have a sip before? Yeah, you can have one. Yeah, you can have something to wet to wet your whistle It's just water it'll be right just a bit of condensation See Imagine if it was all the prank and that was actually like chloroform or something I want to tell me you guys You can tell me you have not fucked with this. You have not put 100% swear. I swear on my mum's life It's a who can eat it first who can eat it first. It's that simple. Oh, it's that simple that's like look at him He's in his fucking mode You're a fast eater though brook house You eat like a This is a good like this is actually the first competition. I reckon where they're actually both very good at this skill These are if I had to pick the two fastest eaters. I know it would be this. Yeah, that's true. That's true Hey wait, I'm fucking stressing That's good. That means you're hydrated. I'm gonna mess my lipstick up Worth it. All right. Are we ready everyone? Is he taking a buttery? I've just separated it. Yeah, wait till we begin and then you can separate Yeah, you can separate because you've got as long as the plate is clean at the end Wait clean clean. Yeah, like lick already a mess lick it. All right without further ado. I reckon it just has to be gone Yeah, all that gone. Um, I reckon splitting it makes it easier Oh my god, I've got like butterflies in my tummy. All right ready Three two one go there we go go go. Whoa, man. It's finished the first one. Oh, has it gone? Chewing will suck all of the moisture Yeah, it's currently acting like a massive sponge and just just sucking up all of his juices It is now like chewing on a large box of tissues So much dust he's got a dusty throat the brown michael's monitoring his opponent He's still chewing mad and he's gone bit by bit. But yeah, that's still the first one. Matt is also monitoring michael And he's upset by how many crumbs have just dropped on his leg He's put that back into the back into his brown brain as an excuse if he loses It's not all gone soon as crumbs there I Think that's still chewing his first weebeaks just to give you an idea like it's been one minute. That's how long it takes to dry Oh michael swallowed his first one Michael's Butter one though. That's panicking Come on, Matt. Just to see if Matt uses the same strategy. Come on. Come on brown. Just swallow it. You're also talking He's not whatever's in your mouth. Just swallow it Oh I think real counts are slipped into quite a solid lead Come on brown bring it on bring it home brown. You've got a lot of yeah peanut butter on that one, which means some sweetness This is your advantage now. We'll go down. It'll moisturize you your mouth. You love peanut butter, Matt This is it now. Come on. Yes. That's it. Come on. Get it down. Come on. Come on. Oh my god. All right He's gone for it. I love that. He's fucking gone for it. He's throwing a Hail Mary here He's a minor panic in Matt's eyes. Michael looks confident. Michael's taking smoke Are you trying to take something out? He said it stuck on the roof Come on two minutes. Oh man. Who would have thought it takes this long. Michael is a fast eater. He's so quick Hey, all right. We can note they've both got all the weebigs in their mouth. We go. Oh The mat's poking around like I was just I think Brookhouse is pretty confident. He's coming down the back end. He's doing a little victory dance. Oh Matt's swallowing it all No, he hasn't really it's still a big ball of peanut butter and dry mouth to show the emptiness Wow, and Michael is done. Brookhouse takes it. Open your mouth. Let's see how much is left Can I just see how much is left in your mouth? Man Michael good strategy Yeah, fucking hell slow and steady won the race. You don't do that with fruit. You just fucking slam a whole fucking fruit You can swallow this you can't swallow straight away I would kick your ass in a food eating comp. Yeah, you would I used to be fruit having said that though I reckon if a whole meal Yeah, like like a pizza or something. Yeah, sometimes we'll be out and like I'll have a couple of mouthfuls And I'll just be like and his plate's like that. It's just gone. I'm not too far off though Yeah, yeah, that was good. Yeah slow slow bits at a time. Was that surprising how high that is. Yeah, you know Yeah, yeah, so tricky. You have to do a little bit by the way The peanut butter just combines and makes like Into the top of your mouth feels like out Stabbing around in his mouth Was it kind of yum? No, that's sorry. Fucking disgusting. Oh, I don't know. Shit I didn't buy those wheat bits. I like prepared the wheat I prepared the wheat. I like crushed them put them in the oven the last six hours Well, we had the wheat and the peanut butter. He grew the wheat plant as well All right, I'm gonna go back to the kitchen All right, so Michael takes it that brings us to 15 to 13 overall and look there's not many episodes left before the finale now so I think that will be like It'll be like three weeks. It'll so it'll be around episode 37 that we filmed the finale Does that make sense to you guys? I mean for them to do earlier No, no for us to film it because we'll be we've already booked in the date and now because we've missed a couple of weeks like Does that make sense to everyone? Like yeah, the episodes will come out that season finishes later now because we've missed two So but we're still filming the finale on the same day when we haven't pushed the finale date back two weeks Even though we've missed two weeks of posting this season Yeah, I wonder we might have to film early So then we do come into the finale and then the people the live audience get a heads up early on What's the tally in the Michael verse well, you could have there could be a winner before we get there Yeah, but now we have to have a winner on the night because that's how we decide Yeah, we have to have a winner on what's what's the point of doing all this Well, we'll have to finish them early So we'll film these before we actually do well unless unless you just win like the next five in a row and then it's already over That's what I mean like 15 13 Right now 15 13. Yeah It's close That's still digging around his mouth Yeah, fuck. I can't believe he used to eat wheat picks. Yeah, and like that used to be oh, it's not healthy, right? Well, they're not like it's just like fucking wheat a wheat picks kid Yeah, and Brett Lee you see like nine of them. How many do you do? No, that's warm. He's been on this podcast All right recipe Shane warm Still spinning up in heaven, I bet Bowling out all the other angels up there I mean sex All right That was great great work boys. All right, let's move right along. It is time For matt's tinder Hit that ditch hit that ditch man t i n d o we have matt's tinder Matthew brown has lost control now these women will lose their souls And this is a segment Where we have taken over the brown's tinder because he's a single mid 40s Half unemployed fucking i'm a 36 and i work full-time Ninjad can't 69 sitting there all dressed up and he can't find women because he's too nervous So we do all the talking for him and I speak to these women Exactly how matt would speak to them. I've known this man for decades. I know how he talks Ha All right Here we go, and I think we have a bit of headway this week. Let's be honest Oh, we're sending you girl after girl after girl. You can't deny that any longer. Can I break for a sec? I just want to get another drink You can start reading No, I want you here All right, we'll be right back everyone. Matt's just gonna go get some water. Give me that. Give me that fruit All right, let's start off with a couple of short sweethearts And then we'll get into the longer conversation that the brown had with his victims. I'm ready So matt starts this one Break up the front door I'm very confused. Oh, that's so funny. When are you born? 1989 you have me so lost. Oh sick. I was born too. How many houses have you been in and then she unmatched Oh How many houses have you been in? It's such a good question Pretty Look at looks. I only judged people off their personality. Maybe you should try it crust Daddy is here now. You're safe That was funny Creamy wounds weep into my bedsheets stay around me. Will I peel them off? Unmatched. Oh my god, that is so fucked Matt starts this conversation Do you have any of your teeth from when you were a kid? Unmatched Dude, that's actually a really nice question. No one's ever asked someone that Yeah, why don't we actually unmatch that? That was Lisa reply Oh, very good breathe baby daddy is here now Oh, thank god for that. It was getting close flatline there for a second Daddy can make you feel nice and relaxed Daddy wants to give you a little cuddle Little cuddle Yeah, a little cuddle followed by a tight squeeze and a passionate drill I could settle with that Do you understand what drill means? And that's an ongoing conversation. So there you go. Another one that I'll give you later. You're welcome next I will rain down on your family You have no idea who you're talking to or what I'm capable of that is not your opening Did they reply this way? Oh, then you're applying. Oh my fucking god. I'm so sorry wrong chat Oh Long story, but please ignore that This this is the worst opener Well, how about this for an opener? I rip my shirt down the center to reveal a thick plume of chest hair I pardon my chest hair and two chest testicles dangle freely I wink at you and start jumping up and down my chest testicles fling about and I open my eyes as wide as I can So wide that my eyeballs loosen and fall out of my eye socket Embarrassed. I start screaming and turn away from you. You grab me on the shoulder and I turn to you when we share a kiss and whisper It's okay, Matthew Thatched Man, they're calling god nobody's really willing to give me a try. Yeah. Yeah We might have to pay because like They're really it's getting really hard to like get matches. The matches are drying up. So I'm yeah, we might have to pay because um Yeah, it's that's less people to because obviously a very small percentage of these people actually have conversations with you So it's getting like Anyway, slim Skin sheets make great curtains. What's your favorite flavor? Huh? There's long sheets of skin hanging from my windows. They make really cool curtains. What's your favorite flavor? vanilla chocolate chip cookie dough I want to profit from your body Have you ever considered only fans? No, no, I haven't we could make a killing with your body and my skills in the bedroom 80 20 split for you Maybe dinner first Fine, but I'm not cooking. What time do you want me over tonight? And that's an ongoing conversation Push her into only fans. Holy shit, dude, that is Is profit from her body. That's a great line. I want to profit from your that's a great pickup line for any blokes out there That are going out on the fucking weekend getting few beers and get a bloody bird Walk up and I'm saying I want to make profit from your body It's funny. You say that it's a great pickup line for people because people have been Lightly sending in some of their Tinder conversations where they've taken your style and approach Some of it's pretty funny. Yeah, well, you should read them out. Let's Yeah, if anyone if anyone is doing that on tinder and using marty's style Of um of pick up and send it in. I'll happy really happily. Yeah, put them all in a folder and then we can read some out Okay, and send us your embarrassing stories, please and your credit card details. Um, all right. This is just I don't know why I'm just loving these Daddy ones The ones are sickening so Matt starts with Daddy sees something he likes Daddy wants to take you out Seriously, does that even work? Daddy sent us some attitude Don't make daddy upset. Oh, you know what happens when daddy gets cross. I'm cranky. Oh, no Unmatched uh ongoing she hasn't replied. Yeah. Wow Fuck it's funny. I'm the ones that don't reply, but yet keep you around that scares me I'm gonna end up on a forum somewhere All right. Uh, all right. Here's a slightly longer one. All right last one. Here we go. Here we go Damn, I'm itchy for you sway my hips from side to side. I'm such a goose You are a goose lol. So is that a compliment? I'm lost Oh, yeah, trust me. That's a massive compliment. If you knew my friends We only ever when we only are ever itchy for something when we really wanted my mate last night So he was itchy for kfc and he hadn't eaten all day. So yeah, it's a great compliment. Haha nice analogy Oh, yeah, we have really cool and hip lingo in my friendship group You'll see them when you meet them bounce a marble off a baby skull and catch it in your mouth I'm a little older than you. Why do you live? Oh, yeah, I'm pretty mature for my age I've dated an older woman before she was 68 years old Believe it or not. I lean forwards and shuffle my shoulders around like a bird fluffing its feathers No, why you didn't not for long just like four months. It was actually really beautiful How did you end up dating someone that much older? I used to hold host bingo nights at the g-bong rsl There's this there's this real old bag that kept giving me the eyes I got drunk one night and thought it would I thought I thought I would have a turn We we got along We really got along and one thing led to another Pretty wild, but I don't regret it. She didn't have any teeth Oh my god. No way that is so wrong It was actually a really fulfilling relationship. So I would appreciate it if you didn't judge me She was kind and caring and she didn't have any teeth Okay, I'm sorry. It's hard not to judge. I just know it would be way out of my comfort zone Sometimes purposely putting yourself that's up your comfort zone. It's where you grow and learn the most about yourself Plus, she didn't have any teeth. What's the oldest person you've been with if you don't mind me demanding to know? eight or nine years younger How was it getting slung up your guts by a younger fella better or worse? Whoa, and she has not replied I thought you were making that up that's a real thing How was it getting slung up your guts by a younger fella? Oh my god, that's what you said That's what you said to her Oh, all right Well, let's move along. Should we do a Q&A to you? I've only got a couple press that button, bitch You have all the questions and we have all the answers and we've got lots of dances for you You ask for it and here it is it's question and answer time you guys we read the questions You guys comment on the mighty michael fully actual youtube channel We answer the most liked questions first once you comment your question have a scroll through and like the other questions Do you want to stay into and remember? We are two weeks ahead So if you comment your question on this podcast, we won't see it until two weeks from now Okay, when this podcast comes out does that make sense? All right, so I don't be like, well, they didn't answer my question Even though I had the most likes because it's coming. It's coming You asked for it. It's back. Don't forget to like comment subscribe and leave a five star review on Spotify Please please it just takes a second and it helps so much. Please And um fucking um What else was I going to say you've got all the and oh, yeah, please let us know any other segments that you Dealiness And we will try to bring them back matt's black book. Unfortunately. Have you got a confession you'd ever confessed to your mom or dad? Yeah, there's one. I think I've told this before Um, when I was first having my first girlfriend We would mostly do it at her house and She was so scared of getting caught about having that she'd make me take the With me So I'd wrap a little And put it in my wallet. Have I told you this? Yeah, and then Can we just calm down? Let me finish Oh, it's like a dd, isn't it? um And so I put it we had sex I put in my wallet and I I left her house and I went home and And anyway, I put my wallet on the bench And you're in it and I had cash and I had $50 cash in it and I think I was I had to give mom $50 I mean I had it in there to give mom And when I put it in my wallet, I didn't like hide it anywhere. I just put it in the wallet and shut it Anyway on my table mom walks in and goes says, hey, do you have that $50? Is the first thing she said to you was there something else before that? No, no, we're just it was just a normal day There's probably something before if it was the first thing she said then that's cheaper for Because you should say hello for you ruining the story I'm just saying it would be so weird if your mom came in matt. Where's the $50 like that would be weird She didn't do that. It was like it was I was there for like I was home for like an hour So there's a lot of conversation a lot of conversation Yeah, I have to make contact for him or he can't keep up Well, I just don't want your mom to be like a poor ass To his own son. She'd make her sound like a bitch. You do make her sound like a messy bitch. Don't take money off your kid You know And uh, basically she's walked in mooring say, hey, do you have that $50 and she's opened up the wallet and like Full of has fallen out onto the ground And I've gone. Oh shit. Sorry about I picked that up and then she's like is that is that used? I went I went no, no, no. I was just I just opened one and I forgot to put in the bin I just put it in there. I forgot about it and she kind of bought that and I went straight to the bin threw it in the bin And just she never looked never said anything and to this day She thinks it was just me opening up with my friends Opened it up in front of my friends. What would it cost for us to call you and tell her that you name a number What would you pay to hear me say that $80 a thousand 80 dude a $80 Fuck Okay, we have to have a discussion. Um, just don't listen for a second. I'll go 350 350. I don't think he's gonna talk It's a bag A lot of bags All right, we've decided on that. Do you want to know what the number is? 350. Yeah, thanks. I was here I 350 dollars right now transfer it to you right now if you call your mom and tell her and remind her of that moment All right, really? Yeah, I'll do it. Fuck it James you gotta come in for this shit Can you you're gonna have to stop my phone camera so I can get the number out so I can put it on your phone Okay, we'll be back. She might not answer. So let's just try. Yeah. Yeah. Leave a voice message Leave a voice message James, you're not gonna believe this That's gonna call his mom and tell a confessor something Fucked up that he did. Do you know the tale of when the story how his mom went into his wallet and found a used She might remember because she was poor and she asked like she might be She might remember it was different Um, are you got this number? Yeah, I've got kona cut this number. Please I'll have to be left at the end. Yeah, so when he was a kid He's mom who's poor trying to get $50 off him Are you gonna tell her you're on the podcast? He's gonna Make it seem like it's been bothering you for years and you're not on the podcast. It's for $350 Yuck. It's for $350. That's that's exactly what she's gonna do. She might go wash her hands We have Matthew mother's phone number that's gonna call her now and confess that The use of she found was actually used All right, here we go. Um You gotta don't don't come clean quick. You've got to earn this and do it like tell the story Although I just got to make sure and let her react. I want to hear is she hey shut up When I know she's still poor Don't be mean don't be mean to my mom or we'll cut this whole thing That's gonna give her the money we give him my mom so she can go to coals for a couple of weeks My mother's a saint. You're not being mean to my mom. Um Say you're calling off the work phone. Oh, no, no, you're calling off. Um The person you are calling The person you are calling is not available. I'm just upset. She's about the phone situation. Yeah, she might call back All right, look, hopefully she calls back but that leads us into a great segment idea Guys, if you have anything that you would like to confess to your mom or dad Give us your phone number We'll call them and do a three-way call and somehow connect you with your parent and you have to Admit to something that you did as a kid if it's a good enough confession. We will pay you confessions for cash So you guys You guys DM us Tell us what you want to confess if it's a good enough confession We will pay you to call them live on the podcast and To confess to them But you have to make sure that they're available Like that they actually will answer. Okay, because we can't be fucking fucking calling fucking Matt's fucking mum or she's working or kind of i'm a hard-working brown The only thing we struggle with here is how can we Be guaranteed that it's not just some random Real so hard to know So I reckon that we'll be able to know from the acting first of all. Yeah, the reaction of the mother. Yeah, okay All right, well look potential there if you got confessions you want to make is there any more Oh, fuck. Is there anything we could confess to your mum from you when you could you tell her that you killed the cow? Oh man, that's a long one How much would it cost for you to tell your mum you've killed a cow? You already paid me a salary. I don't need more money Um Not this week. I don't want to be the first one And I need to think about my approach Hey darling, you remember back when wall went as good just straight into it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think there's anything else Oh You know about the sex in the car. Yeah, fuck that's just what I was thinking about I was You know doing that in the car with my girlfriend at the time and I lent I need my knee answered my phone I didn't know it was really Like what are the how? It's just like 33 10 days where there was a buggy answer. It was on silent By chance that I just had to land on my knee Did you see after that your mum was still on the phone? No, she called me back She called me back and like confronted me about it I heard you in the car. That's so No Yeah, she'd be a lot more like these days She would just like she would laugh and hang up But back then because I was only I was younger a little boy wasn't like 17 or 18 She was she still wanted me to be christian. Oh, no sex before marriage That's hectic. That is yeah, that is still makes me cringe so hard that I've just blocked that out of my brain I'm really upset. It's back. Oh, man. I won't sleep tonight Yeah Anyway, so yeah, send in your confessions if they're good enough We'll pay you to confess live on the podcast. Okay. That's a fucking rooper. Anyway Let's let's move on to the questions Which we said we're gonna do like 20 minutes ago and then got sidetracked by Matt's disgusting story of if he's poor poor mother Sorry, um We're still waiting to get questions. Yeah, it'll be next week before the people start asking questions Yeah, the questions the questions will come out on this one today's episode coming out. Yeah um Questions from Uh, why did you guys go see gary v? Were you there to take the piss and do a prank? Or were you there to see him legitimately? Yeah, like we it's just nice. He's just like I like he thinks we're really hot like gary v Because he's just really um has a positive outlook and it's just a reminder to That life's good come and not to fucking stress come and um, he's a good dude. Great kiss. We we went to him Well, I used to go to his shit like before We were even you know marty and michael Just out of curiosity weird. It's weird for us to do that I guess but like, yeah Believe it or not. I really liked learning about social media before we started making did you actually kiss him? Uh, no michael Damn, I should have gone along with that. Yeah, I was actually convinced If he's that positive he might be like, yeah, fuck it let's make out Oh, he was a friendly fella, but um, yeah, it was it was good That was the day that I came home and fucking bossy was oh, yeah So that day will forever forever hold a um Darkness above me that now even now sends shivers through my spine. So in a way gary veal gary v Attempts hold attempted murder on bozzly. He was gonna say that That's attempted murder. I get it. I'm not messaging Actually He reads our dms. We should say like fuck you man. You nearly killed my dog Have you boys ever had an infected cut so bad you're worried? Yeah, I remember I the thieves remember when we were fucking in lao knee in lao and my ankle. Yeah, my foot After we did a lot of math Oh Lows get a lot of math they have this this this look we were in lao And and we're like, oh, do you guys there's like, you know, they have like opiates and they have magic mushrooms They got weed everywhere, but we're like, oh, you know, we were young. We're like, oh, do you have any like Things that uppers. Yeah things that wake you up. And then this creepy fucking bartender owner guy sort of pulls us into his back Into his back room and then pulls out this little tablet And like we know he shows us a way how to smoke this little tablet and it was called yaba And it's it's we looked it up. It's literally crystal mass We well, we looked looked it up after the few days. I was there for a week and I didn't sleep At his bar for a week Dude the dude was like he's had a kid that me and the kid would just hang out So me and the kid drink when everyone went to sleep during the day. I'd stay up. Yeah, it's no. No. He was a legend And my Michael's on drugs hanging out with an eight year old. That is a creepy story He's like I said kid. I thought you meant like 16 Well, he ran he ran the bar as well because it's really different there like the whole family works I think we should cut this you're gonna be drinking beers with this kid serving me beers But like it sounds weird. There was fun time So he he basically stop saying fun times of the kid He had his bar at the end of the tubing network So all the people would be walking up the tourists with their tubes at the end of the day or all throughout the day So me and the kid would sit there on the edge and watch all the people walk up with their kissing And I would he taught me this prank where he puts like, you know a can of coke He punches like the the thing that you click to open it He punches that in there with some fishing line Throws the can over this line that sort of sits the can Above like in the walkway of like the alley that we were sitting next to And then when people walk past you pull the string and the can just flies up in front of their head And they don't understand why a can's just taken flight dude All day for eight hours straight. I'm sitting there with this kid smoking meth with him Yeah, literally there with oh, yeah, I won't get into that. That was too much but like We would just pull on this fucking line and watch these people scream and they get people would arc up because they get so pride filled They're like, oh Fuck you man. You're fucking asshole. And then me and the kid are just pissing ourselves the eight hours straight Enjoying the scaring the shit out of people. I wonder how he is now Yeah, it was oh man. It's so you get the death penalty if you call with that Oh, yeah, you don't want to call with him as well. Yeah, so we were very dumb So don't ever do that tubing network though. That sounds fun. Oh, yeah Dude, someone died every day though. We were there the week Yeah, we were there from drowning from the tubing because people get so fucked on drugs now And there's real shallow bits and like jumps from everywhere this swing So you go from bar to bar and it just goes down this little river. Vieng vieng it is Do you want to go there? But it's not as good as it used to be because there's rules now because we were just smoking meth Yeah, true. We we didn't go down the half Like I pretty much just went up to the first bar then traveled back to that end bar and did the can thing No, but you didn't go on the river. No, I really I'm not gonna I'm gonna be honest and say no I never actually hired a tube I'd say Yeah, dude, and I don't think I went in the water like that's how shit It's not it's not and it's not we didn't realize I feel like we should fucking clarify this It sounds like we're fucking junkies But we didn't know it was meth because it's just called yabba and it was just keeping us awake And then it's a mix of all these other things All right, and I didn't realize that you took it like that as well You smoke it. Yeah. Yeah. It was weird. Hey, anyway, I don't want to get Michael doesn't travel brown. We've traveled. He just goes on really expensive pub crawls In Bali, he doesn't see anything. He just goes he gets black out drunk and comes home The shit out of people with the can In Bali, you went out got drunk and met a guy got a tattoo you threw fireworks around and then you came I just thought saw this video the other day reminded me how when we're in Bali There's all those pests people who sell you shit. Yeah, party every time they would come past Marty would like go And I hate like being rude Every time remember we landed in the airport and some dude came up and asked if you want to take your bags We're like, no because they have to pay him money. Michael just gave him to him. He's like, look some guys carrying my bag And well, you got to pay him. He's like, ah It wasn't much. It was worth it. You gave him a lot. I remember you gave everyone a lot because it just makes their day So hard. They're like, holy fucking shit. Oh man again with kids when the kid beggars would come Give them extra Cashing a little something else I'm starting to question my friend And then we'd scare people with a can but anyway, we'd go out in loud night and every night they'd be like, oh Do you hear some english god today? Someone would die every night and I had a little cut on my foot and it got fucking infected And then I so I could I got really sick from the yabba. I got quite sick There was one point where I thought he was gonna die He started shivering and convulsing There's no like there's no hospitals and shit over there had a massive foot infection And then I couldn't drink or anything. So I just went out and did a whole bucket of magic mushroom on my own Meant to be shared and I had the whole thing and it was one of those mushroom trips where there's no not many visuals I was just pissing myself laughing and I felt like I could see people's aura like some people were like Like glowing brightly and some were quite really dark and shit. It was fucking crazy And then um, but yeah, I came all good because you just go to the pharmacies there And they don't speak a lick of english and you just like point to like on your phone What fucking medication you want they give us here? It's the truth. You can go on and ask for xanax and fucking cool place But yeah, that was our um, that was our loud story which sparked from The infection. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I had an infusion infusion on my fat I've never really had bad infections like they sort of it might be infected for a week or two And then it just goes down and fixes itself. The most I've seen you panic about an infection was the shit cannon Yeah, we feel the potato cannon Of human shit and fire didn't into michael's bear skin back. It's on the website. Well, you're not meant to It felt like the shit broke my skin. Yeah. Yeah, it did pretty sure it did That means it's entered your bloodstream. Yeah, but the blood though That's why bleeding is good because it pushes everything out It's where bits of fecal manning into it. Do you look I remember marty and I had a moment where we looked at each other and we were like Because I realized we went so we went so close with uh with the fire cannon that I realized it fucks up your insides Like it's like a bomb. Yeah, it was like rattles perfectly. That one's worth watching on the website That's a banger and it came from like quite a tame video. Yeah, I think it's called worms And then michael's running through the house What yeah runs inside covered in shit and blood And then we're just like I bet then once you wipe it all the way it's like eyes It's very superficial nothing deep so that we knew it was going to be all right Have you got any questions you haven't asked marty and michael before that you thought you could ask them Our bra size I know that's already He buys your clothes. Fuck that's hard What about you matt No, what do you reckon is the best jingle I've ever wrote? Oh, definitely It's gone now um The the waltzy mattilda question answers. Oh, no, no, I love that this q&a won't beat the shit out of that q&a Do you mean like podcast ones or just in general? I think it's a question I think shingling shingling glungler Is the one that sticks in my brain the most I think it's just because it was the one He stuck with for a good four or five days. Oh, you mean like overall jingles. Yeah That's more like a saying I guess but yeah, I guess that's sort of like a jingle overall jingles like Oh, there's yeah, we leave the podcast and go to our worms comps and you come out with some unbelievable things Oh, man worms. I can't put one on it. Yeah, there's been thousands of jingles. There's a different one every week I wonder what that is. I think it's like a form of um add No, I reckon it's like a full-on learning difficulty thing. No, I don't know about I've never heard of anyone else the kids are class with Learning difficulty singing random songs over and over and over and up That's like uh, isn't that like some form of diabetes or what about speaking the same words over and over and over Yeah, yeah, that happens like a spur just as I often autism You're an autistic pedophile who drives a van and often sounds as well. They're like sounds. I'm not too Yeah When Marty gets a good sort of combo of different sounds put together in heretic motion, it gets me What's your Michael pissing himself laughing on the couch in the morning and I just seem sitting there on his own What rewatching that clip? This was weeks for weeks and weeks. He did that To a girl I've got a question for James. Um, you were were you a bit of a bully at school? Yeah, I suppose that's bad times. I was one of the worst things you ever did as a bully He's he's he's now well like he's the nicest person in the world now. Yeah, I was a bit of a dick at school I think it was the group of mates. I were in he's just said a few stories of me and they're just great What about that one with that that that it wasn't you was your mate who dacked that guy walking out on stage Oh, yeah, holy shit. He has there is so many stories of that guy. He was so funny Man, I think yeah, he just he just loved to be really cheeky I think that was similar to me, but sometimes it would be at someone else's expense That's very boy school I got just as much as I gave but this guy would like Man, he would do some hilarious shit like that. We it was always in drama class Like because we'd have a lot of time just to do group work He he got mono once pretty bad. We were just like rehearsing this You know just saw him in the background picked up a rock And just like He couldn't hit mono in the back of her head. Yeah, it was nearly a fight. That was a bad one. Yeah He was crazy. That was once we're like we're rehearsing. It's really like dramatic scene There was this one kid in our grade. He sort of just everyone picked on a bit Yeah a bit sad, but anyway and and like Brendan just would like just go up to him And just like just get it get into a bit of a run and just like leap and just Like smash both his legs into the back of his knees It's like collapse That's under the ground. I would love to see that. Yeah, the best one That's the one I've told you guys about is the one we're like we're We're literally just about to go out on stage So like our final performance in front of like all the parents are big private schools I was like hundreds of people in the crowd Like we're just we're ready to go out on stage and we all like to like line up We're lining up because we go out and like a roll me had like masks on it was like a masked theater piece and Brendan was in front of me and then there was oh shit I said his name, but it doesn't matter and then the guy in front of him Was um another friend of ours actually but like he fucking copped at that night because Brendan like looked down he sort of like Nudge me and pointed at his pants and he had like a tiny just rip in the seam of his Grabbed each side of the pants and just pulled just pulled out I remember just like just looked at us and just could not do anything about it Like we're just just about to walk out So we just did the whole performance like we're just ripped pants with his ass hanging out and Brendan and I were just like Pissing ourselves laughing. Thank fuck. It was a mask a masked piece I couldn't have done it. I couldn't have done it. My parents even said to me we like your shoulders were like moving on I told him the story and even mom and dad He gave me so many laughs. Do you know where he is now? Yeah, I messaged him only like a year ago being like, do you remember all these things and he was like Yeah, I think he felt quite bad about it. He's like he works like in the mines and stuff If he was in jail, he's like Anyway Dude, it's like the time I'll never forget the story. I think you said it before when you and Henry found that passed out dude on the island on a bridge Oh my god, I totally forgot about that That's right Oh Half hanging onto the bridge and it wasn't like a very high bridge. It's only just going over a very small little creek And the sides, you know leading down into the creek were pretty steep and he was half hanging onto the bridge Just just couldn't stand up still. How did he get on the side of the bridge? He was hanging like he was half hanging onto the bridge half Standing looking down at the creek. So the bridge is just to his right And he's just hanging onto one handle and Henry just ran behind him and pushed him and he just went rolling down Into the into the bottom of the creek and then we fucking pissed ourselves Because it just looked like he was that drunk that he just fell and he didn't even say or do anything He didn't even try and chase us for anything. I think he thought himself that he just Then we found him again later passed out just in randomly in the middle of this fucking Wherever the fuck we were and we started like From sand at his face and nothing he wasn't moving wasn't moving and we'd get more and more extreme with our sand throw So start throwing overhand a little bit harder Henry would up me go a little bit harder by the end. We are fucking pegging sand at this guy's face Henry didn't one last time This guy and he nearly And shot up and me and Henry I've never had such a surge of adrenaline man He just fucking legged it onto the beach and took a left into some bushes and fucking never saw him again Oh my god, I love that vision of just winding up Did it sound nice dude, it was such a funny Wouldn't fucking wake up like an oath that would Face when he woke up. It's like he had realized everything that had happened in the like in just half a second He just woke up and realized what had gone on Henry's fault and just got up immediately and started chasing us So many Henry stories, yeah, we'll have more soon with michael's bucks coming up Yeah, fuck, okay, I can't imagine him at the golf course. Hey, it's gonna be so have no patience for that shit Oh Has it already happened since his episode? I don't know. I think this comes out So in four days from this episode coming out is your bucks That's crazy. Let the fun All right, that's the end of the fucking questions. We're gonna need p.r. Box or what do all right Big bitch I don't think we have a Say that every week. I'll be fragile careful All right, Matt. Do you want to do the honors? If you want to send us anything please send us a p.r. Box 256 taken 4018 we open everything live on the podcast and we get sent all sorts of shit And can we please ask that you send us more of your own pubic hair so we can fill this jar of hair that Matt's going to glitter his head on the season finale. I know what that is because you've got so Matt Heyman has sent that through. He's a mate of alexander valkanovsky Oh, wow, what are they little stickers or something and he sent us some stickers Stickers here put this one and cover all of your other fucking shit stickers. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow Matt Heyman, thank you dude for sending those through. We're gonna put how many are there and they sent a bunch I didn't think there was gonna be so many but let's put a few on the van and we'll put a few we'll put it We'll put some on the house We'll go to public toilets. Can you pass me the marker? I'll show everyone some. It's not a bad idea Free advertisements gorilla marketing they call that He did very very well. Hey boys and brown since brown loves fucking stickers so much I thought I should Make him some good ones. Hope you guys like them. Let me know if you want more put them over brown's naked body ps Hope boss is doing well. PPS. I love the brown. Can I box him in a charity match? I've already spoke to him about it. Who wants the box? Keep up the awesome work boys. Matt Heyman Matt. This is my guy messing me said, hey Do you want to do a bit of a charity box? You know be a bit of fun? And I was like, oh, I don't know and I looked at him like he said I'm an old guy I'm nothing like I looked at him and he's a he's a stud old guy He looks like he'd definitely beat the shit out of me. He's Volkanovsky's mate So it'd be terrifying and it's bad, but so it's a maybe for now These are so bloody. Yeah, I know beautiful. Yeah. Cheers, Matty Thanks, Matt. What's in that fucking thing? Any guesses? Do you know what it is? No, no idea Because you've got you don't know what this is man. No, it could be a Volkanovsky Imagine if it was all pubic hair. I was the same person who sent this and that's a different one I feel some massive sticker I'll be so disappointed for what I reckon it's a dartboard. Yeah, it could be a dartboard Michael Because you've got this is one of the biggest packages we've ever been sent guys. So it could be a car It could be just a whole lot of anthrax or dead within seconds Dead within seconds that chili shit that we got sent last week that fucked up. Oh, yeah It got James as well and it fucked up Julie and it got on his skin somehow and he had a rash from it And then it gave Michael the idea to fucking use anyway. Yeah, it's been shit with chill Because yeah, he's made a real comeback around here recently. Oh god. Oh no way. What is it? Oh my god What it's beautiful. Wow to cut out Oh Look at that Would you look at that? These little bits on the back make it stand. Oh, wow. That's so cool That's one of the nicest things we've ever been. I'm gonna say this is by far the best thing that we've ever been sent Not even close bullshit. It's a stickers mount. Anyway, that's so cool. There you go. Look at that It's me my life is so cool And um, they fucking yeah, we should draw a little version of matt on this. What is that? It's just a bit that sticks in between there Yeah, wow, that's fully fully. Hey Oh bozzy. Good boy. There you go. It's beautiful. Thank you. Thank you very much guys Remember we do open everything live to send whatever you want. We've been sent some fuck shit before Actual shit remember that? Then we got some actual shit used condoms for historic shit. Actually, can we try your mom again? The person you are calling Shit, does that mean she's hanging up? She might be working. I think she's set to like a work mode. Do not disturb the person you are calling Should we call um the store that she works at? All right guys really urgent Don't forget to send in your confessions. Okay in a few if we deem them good enough We will pay you to tell them to your mom Okay, so damn the mighty and Michael instagram account and the mighty Michael fully actual instagram account. Okay, damn them your confessions Yeah, just if you even want to just chat to me and don't worry We can make your name and everything anonymous. Okay, so you don't need to worry about us like yeah Your name doesn't need to get out there. We can just have come up with aliases So everyone remains anonymous especially you Matt. Yeah, no judgment and like we're not going to tell anyone We're not snitches can't I want to be everyone remember that segment We had where we got people to send in their crimes crimes. Yeah, I was fucked There was a few I was like Jesus man You should definitely be in jail and then we just let those go and we didn't snitch on them And now those people still out there perpetrating and hunting and still committing those crimes. That's our bad That's on us now and now it's our fault Yeah, but we've it's paying it backwards. So you're helping the criminal We're in chin