 Good day wonderful people! Welcome back to the Asperger's Growth YouTube channel with your host, Mr Thomas Henley of course. Today I'm coming at you with another video, one that is long-awaited. We're going to be talking about the four life-changing things that you can expect from getting an autism diagnosis. Indeed, being an autistic person, finding out that you have somehow made it into this very select group of people that everybody wants to be a part of. Poply. We are popular, you know. I'm going to preface this by saying that you don't really need to have that medical diagnosis if you don't want to. You may just be debating going for an autism diagnosis or debating reading into it or debating taking a test and you want to know what it's going to be like post-knowing. This is the video for you. Today I am sporting the new merch. Indeed, recently I've been in contact with a lovely company called Born anxious who produced a lot of different autism related clothes for autistic people and the people who admire them. God, that was cringy. Born anxious has supported many different creators including Katie Price recently who pretty much fumbled up my release date. She decided or out the blue that she was going to release her Harvey Price stuff and it just so happened to be about two days before we were going to release mine. So go figure. The whole premise of this is that it's supposed to be sporting apparel for autistic people and due to the Olympics currently currently doing itself, God, due to the Olympics currently being on and you know having all the hype around it we've decided to release t-shirts like this in the colours of the Olympic rings which I thought was a brilliant idea wasn't my idea but still a great idea. More information at the end of the video of course to prevent me from rambling too much let's get straight into those top four things. Life changing things that may happen from getting an autism diagnosis into that special club that everybody wants to be in. The 1% or not the 1%. I think it's more like 2% nowadays but first a quick mention from our sponsors. Just kidding. Whether you're just watching for your own interest or you are watching for educational purposes and you want to see you want to know what it's going to be like to come out autistic and face the world and say you know you meet someone you go hey how you doing you know you go for all the shebang social interaction and all that faffy and at some point it comes up that you're autistic and you tell them what what can you expect from from being so open about your own brain your own uh I was going to say condition but that wouldn't be an app description. Now let's see what these points are Tom. Numero one getting an autism diagnosis or finding out that you are likely on the autistic spectrum you you obviously have a lot of stuff wheeling around in your brain you're trying to figure out what's you and what parts of you is the autism what parts of you come from the the gifts that this wonderful difference in the brain gives you the number one benefit that I would say which is why it's number one obviously processing traumatic events now growing up autistic people really don't have the best deal in life we have a lot of difficulties with bullying we have a lot of misunderstandings in social interactions lots of difficulties with certain things in life like education or dating or getting into a workplace and so depending on how far you are along along your life journey depends on how much you've got to work through one thing that you will probably gather from doing all of this research is that sometimes something will come come across you you might watch an autism youtuber you might read something in in research and you may think about some past event though that that's happened to you like a weird social interaction that went wrong and you know maybe you were blunt and direct and you didn't really understand the social situation so you said something out of context you said something that wasn't appropriate in most people's eyes and you had a really bad reaction to it and you felt like an asshole those kind of things that I'm talking about it may also be that that maybe you are being bullied and you think that it's something to do with you personally you know you may think you may be down on yourself because of it you may feel a tense low confidence from the fact that you can't stand up to people and you can't talk under pressure I suppose it's a bit better to give myself as an example I grew up knowing that I was autistic I didn't grow up knowing everything about autism a lot of the social difficulties that I had at school I just bogged down to me just not being an interesting person me just not having the ability to talk to people and for people to like me and obviously that took a really big hit to my self-esteem learning that I I inherently struggle in certain situations such as socializing or you know standing up to bullies or talking to girls it helps you just view that situation in such a different lens another good example of this would be uh in dating you know perhaps maybe I got the wrong end of the straw someone didn't like me in you know the way that I fought and I went to give him a kiss and got shot down and felt bad about it and felt like I overstepped my boundaries maybe it was just that I just didn't understand I didn't understand those non-verbal cues I didn't understand many things that they were trying to communicate to me but not directly and so there's a lot of cases like that and you can transfer that into friendships and any any sort of relationships another thing that you could also say is that perhaps in maybe a high-pressure scenario you know for example in in my taekwondo days there's a lot of noise in a taekwondo venue a lot of noise in competition halls lots of people shouting and bright lights and sometimes if I felt like it I just really didn't belong there because I just my anxiety was just so high all the time and I didn't really understand until I did a lot of thinking and a lot of research into autism that maybe my anxiety was not a factor of fighting someone which I actually quite enjoyed weirdly but it was the the other stuff the environment this self-reflection is quite an important part of knowing that you're autistic once you know it's the number one thing that I promote everyone to do is to look at those incidents in your life where you felt like things went wrong where you felt like you did something wrong where you felt someone was justified in doing something wrong to you more often than not looking at it in the lens of autism and the lens of difficulties and traits that you have it really does shine a light on what really happened and why it really happened in that sense it gives a stable or not a stable but it gives a more direct route in for you understanding your life in a more positive outlook but it also gives you opportunity to work on yourself and highlight areas that perhaps you're not so great at like with me wasn't so great at talking didn't really like it so I started up a youtube channel I started up a podcast so that I could interact with people those types of things you know just giving yourself experience and and knowing what you struggle with and knowing what to improve on it's a really great thing to do obviously processing those traumatic events is so much easier once you know all of the factors involved so I would definitely definitely push for you to do that too number two finding your tribe finding your people the people who are out there waiting for you waiting to involve them involve you in those their communities and the online groups it's a very important aspect of being diagnosed because you kind of feel like a loose screw all your life you feel like an alien you feel like you just don't slot in anywhere in any social context there's always something a bit off either you don't understand it or they don't understand you there's a lot of things that that make being autistic quite isolating if you don't know that you're autistic it's it's quite hard to relate to other people to to the extent you can do with another autistic person there's a lot of differences in the way that we think about things behave feel emotions the general struggles that we we tend to have you're more likely to to to feel understood in a community of autistic people than in regular old society due to the wonders of technology we have the ability to talk to other autistic people and form groups and and socialize and trade tips on on overcoming some difficulties and and sharing the the positives and the the brilliance of it and forming advocacy networks you know people to to advocate for autistic people that for someone who who feels like have felt like an alien for their entire life it's incredibly incredibly meaningful to find that group of people it's not always great you know there's people can be very harsh and I think in general if you don't use the type of language that other people want or you don't share the same views it can be a little bit difficult not not being a part of that larger social sphere and tweeting and instagram and and stuff like that actually like messaging other people in in friendship groups or dating groups and and building relationships with other autistic people it's a really useful thing and it will help you so much if you're isolated it for some people when they realize that they're autistic because they realize that everyone else is different and they're different in very similar ways that that that you are on one side of coin you feel less alone and you feel like part of a community and a group of people which is all important for for human beings on the other side you don't feel as special you don't feel as you don't feel like you're the the golden egg the different person and that was one thing that I struggled with a little bit but in general finding your own group feeling less alone obviously it's a good thing number three why am i doing that no idea crafting your own environment that's not the right one living a more comfortable life more comfortable and confident life what does that mean I guess one of the first things that would contribute to a more comfortable life would be understanding your own boundaries often our boundaries are dictated a lot by what everyone else is saying why everyone agrees with when I talk about boundaries I mean things that you would do on things that you want to do and things that you would say no to and this quite often comes across in social interaction it could be going to somewhere that perhaps is a bit too sensory a bit too loud the ability to to say no to that basically knowing what you struggle with what you what you thrive in and being able to tell you tailor your life and so that you you have a more comfortable existence obviously with this this whole comfort thing I'm not talking about just constantly staying a very low you know very sensory friendly lovely environment and never challenge yourself it's just you'll know when to push and when to pull you know you'll know when to push yourself when you're in a good place and you'll know when to pull back when you need a bit of alone time after a bit of time you'll craft your life your hobbies your clothing style your work everything around these these new traits that you've you've uncovered this new part of yourself and you'll feel confident in making those changes because you know that there is a reason if you don't have any reason to to make those changes you don't know what you why or if you should struggle with things you probably won't do them you probably won't make those changes because you feel a lot of social pressure to to conform to what everybody else is doing if you know that you're different is more likely that you'll know that your life needs to be different though the way that you conduct yourself needs to be different this can go as as superficial as wearing the clothes that you like or picking up a hobby that you had as a child but you you ditched because everyone thought it was silly for an adult to to do little things like that it they really do add up and if you can craft your life around you and what's what's best for you using this this new found knowledge it's it's incredibly fruitful and those little things every day those little things that you like but other people aren't too keen on they add up and they they make you feel happier about your life they make you look forward to the things that you want to do and that is incredibly important you might wear clothing that is more sensory friendly you may realize that yeah actually these tags on me my clothing and this rough material it doesn't really lend to a comfortable existence and so i'm going to buy some nice soft clothing just like this from born anxious of course for a little bit of a product placement in there the first time i've done one so please don't click off because i'll feel incredibly depressed if if you do this is my own form of product placement my own advertisement self advertisement if you will this t-shirt in particular neurodiverse squad like what a gem i absolutely love it i've been wearing it to the gym many many times obviously i'm going to do a video a video about that and so my experience is being openly autistic you can look forward to that soon they come to you and all of the labels are cut out the the seams on all rough and horrible honestly like i'm so glad to be working with born anxious because they're such a great organization if you want to check them out i'll put a link down in my um description please go check it out if you want to there might be some colors that you like as i said it is the olympic colors that we're doing it the colors of the olympic ring rings yeah go give it a look see what you think product placement out of the way lastly the the probably one of the top things is that it at least gives you a fighting chance when it comes to getting support this could mean getting support from advocacy organizations when you have difficulties with other organizations and people you know maybe someone's discriminating against you if you've got an autism diagnosis then or you know that you're autistic then you're more likely to get more support in terms of advocacy another thing would be perhaps going through the the medical system a bit easier getting support for you know links to get to go to different social groups to to practice your social skills and to to meet other autistic people i have to say that although it sounds like a great thing it is extensively difficult to get a diagnosis to get support you really do have to push it but at least you have some way of pushing it and that is another great reason why knowing you're autistic leads to a more comfortable and confident existence number four yes we're finally there but i'm not going to spoil anything if you wait until after my little outro sequence you can get a bonus point i know right crazy craziness a bonus one so look forward to that number four of course get on with it tom you will gain a deeper understanding of the human condition you may be thinking like what are you talking about tom we're talking about autistic people the thing is autistic people are humans too you know it we may be a very different brain very different person with a very different brain to your average joe but also many people out there have different things you know they may have schizophrenia or they may have depression or anxiety or difficulties with socializing any sort of arduous thing that that someone has to overcome due to their differences and so knowing that you're autistic and and knowing some of the struggles that you have you have a greater or a wider ability to to to perceive and to to empathize with people who who aren't normal and normal is not a bad word you do you do get that that sense that you know maybe that that person that's maybe a bit more rude or blunt maybe they've got some issues themselves maybe that weird person who always stinks and uh stays at the side and talks to himself maybe they've got schizophrenia and they need someone to talk to and they want friends as well there's a lot of things like that you know people may see an autistic person and think they don't really like people they seem a bit rude they don't feel like they don't sound like they want to interact with me they sound like they want to have friends and so we're just going to leave them you can apply that in in lots of different senses to to different you know different brains people with personality disorders you may have more empathy towards the the vast varying human condition you think you have life figured out you think you know why that person acts the way they do why these people act in a certain way and autism comes along and it shows you that perhaps maybe you don't have the awareness that you thought you had maybe there's more to life more beneath the surface and it allows you to realize that you know hey maybe i do need to learn more maybe i still need to progress myself maybe i need to increase my understanding of the human experience you know that's just one step in in that but it really does shine a light on you know the ways that you can improve yourself after all we as humans we all suffer we all suffer every day we're different things sometimes we don't sometimes we have an easy coasting ride but more often than not there's something bothering us just the nature of being a person and to understand that and to understand the the varying degrees of which people can suffer and in what ways people can suffer and be interested in that it's a really great path to go down because it allows you to connect with so many different people and to learn from so many different people so i highly encourage you to incorporate that into your life i mean it's just going to happen anyway i'm not saying like there's a list of things that you should do it's just going to happen if you put the work in learn about autism learn about people improve yourself all of these things they're going to add up and you know these things are just going to happen eventually okay so that ends another ranting video by mr tom mr tom good night mr tom where you wet boy if you want to stay up to date with all the work that i'm doing best place to do that is over on instagram you can follow my twitter and my um facebook but it's not as popular as my instagram so so if you want to get in contact with me either instagram at aspergers growth twitter and facebook you can you can follow those if you like but you can also contact me via my email address aspergersgrowth at gmail.com and i try to reply to people as frequently as i can i'm a very busy boy i do a lot of things i can't just sit still and mellow so if i do reply to you it's very likely that i'm doing it in between sets at the gym i've become a little bit obsessed with the old gym i don't know i feel i feel good feel good i was i had a long period a long one year and a half period of bulking and now i'm cutting down and it i just i mean it's lovely because you know my belly is going away all that chub but i don't know i just feel so all my muscles are going i'm trying to prepare for a photo shoot everybody maybe a little bit of narcissism on the side possibly of course check out the t-shirts if you want you can find them at born anxious.co.uk very lovely t-shirts very sensory friendly very gym related and if you watch some of my later videos after this one you will see an array of different t-shirts and tank tops i'll be wearing anyway stay cool stay fresh let me know how are you doing drop a comment down below liking it really does help with the whole youtube thing but what helps even more is um clicking that little subscribey box you know that little red box that just sits there you don't need to click that notification bell just click that little subscribe it doesn't matter it doesn't matter about that bell just click that box and we'll be all good it would it would help a lot because i put a lot of work into these videos and sometimes it's the youtube grand is a slow grand and you gotta keep going you gotta keep pushing you gotta be an openly autistic person oh yes so what about the bonus one that's what you're here for that's what you're waiting for being autistic it's likely going to make you more of a polarizing person and from what i know about psychology and dating and friendships being a polarizing person is a good thing it means that some people don't like you but it means that some people really like you being a bland person is boring if you're just sitting in the middle nobody really likes you nobody really dislikes you you're just there that sucks if you're openly autistic and you're polarizing that's a good thing now i'm not saying go out there and be an asshole and spat out a bunch of opinions that are going to offend everybody and make you a social reject but maybe catch the eye of some other social reject that also offended many people that's not a good thing i'm talking about being your confident true self and going out into the world and expressing yourself as you wish and just just living a nice life you know that's it that's your bonus one oh