 What's going on you guys welcome to the single guy channel my name is Lloyd so today we're going to talk about a question that this guy writes So here's the message Lloyd big fan of your channel. I had a question for you I was seeing a girl for a few months But lately she was not responding to my messages as as much as she was before and she started flaking on her plans When I finally talked to her about this she revealed she sees me more more as a friend and doesn't see a future of us as romantic partners I know you say to move on in situations like these But I find myself thinking about her throughout the day when I wake up and when I go to bed It's starting to affect my work now. How can I stop obsessing over this girl? Cool Yeah, man So I talk about this a lot and I would say probably this is one of the most common messages that I get and look dude I know what you're going through it sucks when you have a girl that you really like and things don't work out It's natural for your body to your mind to start to think about her a lot And for some people they will tend to obsess about people for a lot longer than is reasonable or is healthy Okay, and in fact in today's situations a lot of times breakups are probably the most traumatic events that either of us are gonna Really experience in our lives, you know beyond us if you've served in a war or something like that I'm sure that would be that would top of most of us have not done that So in this video what I'm going to be talking about is I'm going to be talking about how to stop obsessing Slash being anxious over a girl So I've talked about this topic in previous videos, but I'm really going to delve into dealing with the pain aspect of it Okay, so step number one I've talked about this before Delete her from all the apps that you have if you have her on Instagram if you have her on you know Friends on Facebook or something like that unfollow her on Instagram unfollow her on Facebook You don't have to unfriend her or block her or any of that stuff Just make sure she's not popping up in your news feed or anything like that If you guys have mutual friends that maybe can cause problems if you're blocking somebody But just try to not be around her when she's around Okay, things that are going to remind you of her are gonna make it harder for you to move on and the sooner you cut ties with those things The sooner it's going to be able for you to be able to move on. Okay, so that's thing number one Thing number two typically guys when they start obsessing or they start getting anxious over a girl It's because there's something missing. Okay, so you had your life in a certain way It was probably not that great when she came into your life. There was something missing There was maybe weren't that happy whatever it was a piece of happiness came in and you did everything in your power to try and hold On to that happiness and when it left you you were basically left with nothing so it was a huge It was a huge loss to you You know whatever this girl meant to you or whatever her personality or qualities were what she meant to you was a Significant amount of happiness and after she left now your brain is thinking I've got to get this thing back Okay, so what that means is that the situation your environment everything around there is not where it Should be okay? Your environment should already be pretty good when somebody comes into your life They make it better, but it should already be good to begin with and chances are dude That might have been part of the reason why she broke up with you in the first place I know it's a harsh truth, but having a good lifestyle having being a happy person and having just things that are going on with you That are you know engaging that are gonna make you for your well-being and stuff Women look for that you know people look for that in a partner And maybe she found out that that was not the case when she was hanging out with you I don't know I'm just guessing but I'm saying if your environment wasn't good right now That's why you're obsessing over this person So it's become so the number one thing that I would recommend that you do is focus on yourself and make sure That you can improve those aspects of your environment Okay, so what are the parts of the environment that you should improve on okay your support system? You got friends family people that support you and love you okay that aren't her number two You have a career or you have a path or something that you're going down now I know if you're a young guy sometimes it's difficult for you to find so try new things and be passionate about trying to find that Okay, I get regular exercise sunlight all of those things I know this is kind of tough especially with the quarantine situation right now a lot of people are breaking up and so You know on a day like today where it's actually sunny I could get out in the balcony or in the backyard or something like that Go for a walk whatever it is those things will help okay So make sure you're improving your life in all of those different ways and remember you guys I always say that you should not put your significant other or you should not put a girl as the number one priority in your life The first priority is yourself the second priority is your career the third priority is your family and after that maybe a Girl that you're saying or a girl that you're interested in can come in fourth Okay, if you have those priorities in right a lot of times when she leaves you're still gonna be okay All right The next thing that I would do as well to dude is that you might have thought that this person was perfect You might have thought that this person was like the perfect you know perfect person for you or whatever She's not newsflash. She's not especially if she doesn't want to be with you or doesn't see you as a romantic option Yeah, she's not perfect for you. Okay me the first criteria when I'm gonna meet someone that I like Okay, first criteria is not how hot they are first criteria is not the personality or any of those types of things first criteria Is that she's into me? Okay, and if this person is not into me. Well, that's not a good match for me Okay, but beyond that I want you to write down every single negative quality that you could think about her You know that time where she chewed too lovely that time where she was being negative when you know You were trying to have a good time or maybe she was being a downer. I don't know Maybe you guys conflicted on certain issues. Maybe she wasn't as motivated as you maybe she I don't know Well, whatever whatever it was for this particular person. I'm sure there is stuff Maybe you're not thinking about it so hard now because you're thinking about what you lost But write down all those qualities when you have a conscious free clear mind write them all down and actually put them on your phone Put them on your phone get a notepad put them on your phone and every time you start to think about her I want you to bring up that notepad and look at all those negative qualities Okay, this is a good technique for not just men but for women too if you know a guy dumps you or leaves you for some You know other bimbo Put all those negative qualities on your phone and every time you're thinking about that person look at it Okay, that's a pretty good easy reminder to tell yourself. Hey, listen This person wasn't perfect, but I should probably stop thinking about him as much as I are Okay, so those are all the tips that I have and as well too once you start to learn about your body about your mind the Things that you the traps that you fall into how you got to this place in the first place You're gonna start to understand kind of your dating process a lot better Meaning that the way you meet people the way you go into relationships. Maybe you're falling too quickly too soon Why is that happening? Maybe there's something wrong with your environment? Like I said your support system is not there. Maybe it's Maybe it's your role that you're putting too much expectations on the relationship and no one's ever gonna fulfill them You just start asking yourself these tough questions These are the types of questions that I ask my clients and my coaching programs, especially if we're doing a one-on-one client I really delve deep into this and we come up with an answer So I would recommend that you do that same thing too if you need to coach I'm your guide to help out So thanks for watching you guys if you made it to the end consider subscribing come out the videos like this every single week If you're interested in my weekly one-on-one coaching program or one-on-one or the mastermind or whatever form down below So perform and we'll get back to you. It's a lot you guys Good luck