 Does the narcissist really think you want them? Do they think you are interested in them? Do they think you desire them? Do they think you want them to be a part of your life? The narcissist has constructed a false self that follows whatever they think is trending, whatever they think is fashionable, whatever they think is representing a current popular style. They believe that they are relevant. So naturally, they believe that they are something you would want. Many narcissists will even tailor make their image to be whatever they think you want to see, whatever they think you will find desirable or attractive. They will adapt themselves to your personal interests or needs. They will be whatever they think you need them to be. So when they are getting to know you, they are already coming off as being very arrogant and audacious. They are disposed to exaggerate their own worth and importance. And they will show an offensive attitude of superiority. They will show a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks and will often display an impudent lack of respect. Because in their minds, they are everything you could ever want. They have constructed this false self who they believe is perfect, who they believe possesses all the required and desirable elements, qualities and characteristics, who they believe is completely free from false or defects. So if you are not attracted to that, there must be something wrong with you. Because in their minds, their false self is perfect. They are everything you should want to see. So you should just let go of your resistance to them and give up your act. And just give them a chance. Let them show you just how perfect they are. That's how they see it. On the surface, the narcissist may believe that you want them. But that is only because they've created this false self. So there is more to this than what may be immediately apparent. If the narcissist thinks they're so perfect, why would they need to follow trends? Why wouldn't they set their own trend? Why wouldn't they make an example of themselves and how perfect they're supposed to be? The truth is, when they were younger, they abandoned their true selves. They felt like they could never measure up to societal standards and the expectations of their friends or potential dating partners. They saw things on television or in music videos, which set an impossible expectation for how they were supposed to be. And now with social media, it's even worse. People are now comparing themselves to athletes or Instagram models from all over the world. And they feel like they're never enough. The narcissist was already insecure due to abuse or neglect in their childhood. So they were preconditioned to feel inferior, to feel like they need to change themselves. And that is why they abandoned who they are to create their false self. Because they believe that who they really are could never be enough, they changed everything about themselves to change how people perceive them. Which then changed how they felt about themselves. But this is only on the surface. The self-hatred and shame is still there. Although they constantly try to push it away, it often comes out on people who make them feel inferior. They project it onto them. But they are doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on it. Which is why they can often seem so arrogant and audacious. It's black or white thinking. In their minds are either perfect or flawed. The narcissist doesn't really think you want them. They think you want their false self. They know that you would never be interested in what they really are. They know that they've manipulated you. They know that they've brainwashed you. They've indoctrinated you. They've forced you to accept a set of beliefs uncritically. They've persuaded you by using propaganda. By using information of a bias to mislead the nature so that they could promote a causal point of view. But they know that it isn't real. And that is why they can often be so bitter and resentful towards you. Because deep down they know that you would never want them. They know that you would never accept them. They feel unlovable. They hate themselves. But it's just too painful for them to deal with those feelings about themselves. So they project them onto you. However a person treats you, it's a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves. A person cannot give you something which you don't already possess. They cannot give you love because they do not love themselves. They give you hate because they hate themselves. Although many of them do this unconsciously, they will probably try to start acting this way towards you if they realize what it reveals about them. Although that would be very difficult as then they would have to deal with those feelings on their own. Which is a very challenging thing for a narcissist to do. Some of you who are watching this may be very loving and compassionate people. You may be forgiven and accepting. You may understand everything about the narcissist's upbringing. You may understand why they're this way. And yet you still accept them. You still want to be involved with them. So you may be wondering what if you do want them? What if you do give them a chance? What would happen? The truth is as soon as you show interest in a narcissist, as soon as they know they've got you, that is when they lose interest in you anyway. They know they're not meant to be loved. That was taught to them from a very young age. And there's nothing you can do that is going to change that. They have nothing but hatred inside themselves. And that's what they're going to project on to you anytime that you try to get close to them. Because they feel completely worthless and when you show interest in them it just makes them think there must be something wrong with you. It tells them that if you're so great, why would you want to be around them? They already know that the only reason anyone would desire to be around them is because they're susceptible to their manipulation. Because they've fallen for the illusion. They've been brainwashed. Because once you've seen what lies beneath the surface, once you know what they're really about, you could never love them. You could never be attracted to them. It's just that the illusion is still ingrained in your head. This habit, belief or attitude is embedded in your mind. It's firmly fixed and established. It's difficult to remove because you're still holding on to it. You want to believe in their lies. You want to believe there's something great because all you want is to be loved. All you want is someone to share the love that you have for yourself. When anytime that you come around the narcissist, they see you as something that's unlovable. Because you're associated with them, which is why anytime that you're around them, you lose that love for yourself. Just by being any narcissist presence, you are disrespecting yourself. So does the narcissist really think you want them? Do they really think you want who they really are? No, of course not. They don't even want themselves. That's where they created their false self. And if you want who they really are, they think there's something wrong with you. They know you're still under the illusion, but they know what you really want. They know that you want someone who really loves themselves. Someone who has love to give to you rather than hatred and anger, rather than bitterness and resentment. But although they may know this, they can't give you love because they don't have it to give. In fact, the thought of them knowing what you want only makes them even more bitter and angry. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. CoachingInquiries, you can email me at coachingatnarksurvivor.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.