 Don't let me drown I've never stopped myself from playing. I miss you. I really, really miss you. I've cried every day since I found out you wasn't with me. I miss you a lot. I miss you as well. I miss you. You have no idea how much I miss you. You're the one person I have left for me. You're the one person who knows me better than you know myself. Ever since you left I've been trying to find a way to join you in a place where I've heard your prayers. And writing this wasn't on a side job at all, it was days I had to try and do what Alex did. You're the one person I have in my life who understood me. I'm sorry for not being by his side to the end, and I forgive myself for that, because I should have been that. I'm sorry I wasn't at the funeral. I hope you're a piece. I always know I'll take your secrets to the grave. I don't right now where to admit it, because the idea of not having him around just doesn't feel real. I don't think that losing the mom to suicide is ever going to be easy, or on the spectrum of easy. I'm currently dealing with what professionals are describing as a major trigger, and then at one point. About a month ago I lost my friend to suicide. I can't believe it was a month ago. Only a month ago, one month, I wasn't with her until the end. And will I ever forgive myself for that now? Am I trying to move forward? 100%, but it's hard. And I want you guys to know that I am here, I am trying, and you're awesome. Thank you for supporting me through this hell that I'm going through at the moment. It is 100% appreciated. Peace.