 Hey, babe 40 here. I was just watching Steven J James. He did a stream on how Claire cord being banned from YouTube having something a Stream similar to this as well. Let it drop here. I'm gonna do so I'm gonna do Luke Ford's 12 rules for life Because it yeah, it is a in all his dreams he's For months he's been doing like the Jordan Peterson. Esk Stefan. All in you Esk literally off his rules basically, I don't know if he She considers themselves Just while I'm listening to the stream I've got a notepad on my phone And if I think I even come up with one I write it down. So like I've got here Number one all of us tend to have an exaggerated sense of our own self-importance a Good way of realistically judging your own importance in a particular profession is how much income you derive from it I've got number two marginalized movements attract marginalized people You hear him say that a lot don't you? Beware the dangers of the e-personality That's another one Don't say anything that you'll be afraid of seeing printed on the front page of the New York Times. That's another one Different people have different gifts. Anyway, there's my list. That's a stream for the future Future content for you Which I think is very something to look forward to You are getting Okay, so thank you Stephen J James for inspiring me to try to write down and come to terms with You know, what are my rules for life 40s rules are much better than Jordan Peterson's about petting a cat All right, so I was thinking about what are my rules for life I Am not a guru because I don't tell people what they want to hear And I strive to place my views in the appropriate context of my relative ignorance my feelings my lack of credentials all right Cheating and lying unfortunately have been among my strongest habits So to the extent that I've told painful truths about myself. This is usually a survival thing I've gotten into and I realized that I couldn't lie my way Out of my misery but instead I needed to turn to a more effective tactic which is frequently telling the truth So when I've been pushed up against the wall my first reaction or too often has been to see whether or not I can lie my way out of getting hit and if that doesn't work I try telling the truth and if that failed I'd try placating bullying or freezing So I got into the habit of cheating in high school and it did not end there So if I could get away with it, I'd just try to charm my way through life doing as little irksome work as possible So it's only regular doses of humiliation that snaps me out of this laziness So if I am not at my best, right? I tend to react like a beaten dog like a stray dog I don't despise myself and my character defects. I did not choose them, right? They began as adaptive tactics to Try to avoid getting hit. I was bounced off the walls quite a bit as a kid But unfortunately these tactics became maladaptive Over time but as I walk through life like you I've done the best I could with the tools I've had at the time I'd like to think I have better tools than I did back then So just as donald trump has spent his life staying a step ahead of the sheriff Like I've stayed spent my life just staying a step ahead of the dog catcher Okay, we got Colin Liddell. I set you an invite if you have time and inclination Colin to Stop by and we've got got a video version of the Colin Liddell Monologue short pod so we'll play that little later, but I want to hit the the major themes of Being inspired by Steven J James. What are my major rules for life? So I set up with the political We're all locked in an iron cage together, right? Nobody's coming to save us There's no higher authority who are bail us out in this world That we can rely on so to survive you want to become as strong and as connected as possible So for the individual the community the people the nation state different people have different gifts Nobody cares about our groups the stronger your in-group identity, right? The more strongly you identify as gay or orthodox jew or christian or muslim Or california the more likely you are to have negative feelings about outgroups Forties a bind and blind. So if I am good friends with Colin Liddell, I'm going to be blind to his flaws Everybody has a hero system most people get the hero system from their community So if you live in a community that values making money you'll take on that hero system If you're part of a community that values Working the system to try to extract as much government welfare as possible You value that if you're part of a community that values, you know stand-up comedy. You're very likely to value that Marginalized movements attract marginalized people, right successful people don't want to live their life on the margins What would determine the success of a political administration events my dear boy events Every living thing so from plants to animals to people From jews to muslims to christians to gays every living thing it strives to create the optimal environment for its thriving And will react viciously to anything that endangers it You want to preserve native life. You have to restrict invasive species. You have to build a wall Have tough immigration control if you want to preserve your native life This goes for plants for animals and for people the most important task for a nation state is to survive That's even more important than say following international law You never know what someone else will do So your best chance at survival is making yourself as strong and as connected as possible Common denominator in all political punditry of which I am aware is self assertion aka I see things that you don't see and therefore you need to listen to me Crime waxes or wanes depending upon our willingness to punish criminals. All right, if we just Put away the 500 people causing the most havoc on the new york subway Or on the los angeles subway as steeve salos suggests we could Severely diminish crime make using public transport a far more pleasant experience Okay You don't have democracy versus dictatorship every functioning democracy contains considerable elements of dictatorship As well as considerable elements of socialism considerable elements of capitalism considerable elements of oligopoly So the united states of america is not just a democracy. It's not just the dictatorship It's not just a socialist system or a catalyst or an oligopoly or an oligopoly. It's combinations of all those President of the united states has virtually unlimited foreign policy power at the same basic foreign policy power as king george III There's no magic key to unlocking how the world works. It's not the illuminati or the bundeberg group or jews Closest thing we have to a magic key to unlocking reality is the predictive power of IQ for large groups So goodness the character trait of being a decent person for example requires empathy Which is a form of abstract thought and the capacity for abstract thought is measured by IQ So 8080 IQ people spilled a drink on the floor of a public gathering And 1100 IQ people spilled the same amount of the same liquid And 1120 IQ people spilled the same amount the same liquid the higher IQ groups will be more diligent About cleaning up the spill so other people didn't trip and fall left and right wing politics are Modern evolutionary adaptations that have enabled our ancestors to pass on their genes So in some circumstances a left-wing approach to reality will be more adaptive to passing on your genes Now the circumstances a right-wing approach will be more adaptive We only have left and right in political terms since the late 18th century but These basic tendencies go back to thousands upon thousands of years. They are evolutionary adaptations So what we now call the political left Is an evolutionary adaptation that tends to go along with support for equality it is more eager to Try new ways of organizing society and individuals and families There's more tolerant of departures from tradition and it tends to want to punish more leniently violations of group norms the right is more supportive of authority hierarchy order and punishment for wrongdoers Now political cultural personal tendencies are strongly influenced by our genes So from a strictly secular perspective religion is a subset of culture which comes from the combination of genes and environment So one should not be surprised that african christianity is very different from scandinavian christianity As long as tens of millions of people such as the japanese are more decent more law abiding than the most committed nations of monotheists I don't know how one can argue that god is necessary for ethics or Creating an ethical society, which is something I believe most of my life So I come to realize that our behavior is primarily shaped by who we love All that by our beliefs More than by our religious texts and more by our ritual or religious practices Most people do not get their primary meaning in life from politics Most people get their meaning in life from family and if they have room in their life after taking care of family They get their meaning from their work from their friends and from their interests pundits To maintain their uniqueness inevitably trend towards promoting conspiracy theories If all they can give you is the conventional wisdom found in the new york times and no one's going to turn to them Nobody has the right to anything Right unless you are lucky enough to live in a society that is strong And enforces rights, but all your rights can be taken away at any time due to a real or a putative emergency We saw that with covet covet comes along all sorts of rights of freedom of assembly freedom of travel that we took for granted just removed We are not individuals with inalienable rights like the Declaration of Independence says we are primarily members of families extended families tribes and nations and the rights that our group our family our tribe Our nation can afford Us will vary depending upon circumstances. So I think those are my basic political opinions and then my personal rules for life At all times By all means preach what you believe and occasionally use words, right? That's by legend according to Francis of Assisi But in essence that means we're always transmitting if you're happy you're going to transmit happiness If you're sad, you're going to transmit sadness no matter what your words and sensible actions Uh to enter into any kind of relationship So I have a relationship with you the viewer of a relationship with Colin Liddell Who's being a regular on this show right to enter into any kind of relationship is to start a countdown on inevitably feeling betrayed meaning You will at some point inevitably be shocked that the other person has different priorities from what you expected such as You are not their top concern at all times And I'm getting overwhelmed by the attention from youtube five live viewers right now Uh, do not separate yourself from the community right when you watch chimp empire on netflix. You see that the chimps who leave the herd Are placing themselves in great peril and some of them get killed Some situations you will be a concentration camp inmate and in other situations You will be a concentration camp god So the situation will consistently shape you as much or more than your supposedly inherent characteristics So if you want to stay faithful or you want to stay sober All right, or you want to stay prosperous you want to stay solvent avoid those situations that will endanger you And stay in the situations that will bring out the best in you Live as though everyone knows everything as opposed to trying to get away with as much as possible. That's from james bernum As soon as you go online to comment about life You will feel a tug to be impulsive And to develop an inflated sense of your own importance You will feel tempted to ignore social Proprieties you will feel tempted to discuss dark topics that you would normally avoid in face-to-face interaction So these tendencies if not successfully resisted or damaged your life that comes from the terrific 2011 book virtually you The dangerous powers of the e-personality You want to snap back into a sense of reality. I didn't know about you, but my My balloon doesn't always attach itself to the ground. My balloon starts floating away very easily from reality So what tends to snap me back to reality is I think about how my selfishness is hurting other people That sovers me up snaps me back into reality I think about people who have loved me that sovers me up. It snaps me back into reality I remember the stupid things I've done my failures my transgressions my humiliations that sovers me up snaps me back into reality It's absolutely inevitable that we will compare ourselves constantly to others And we will also inevitably try to find ways to convince ourselves that we are superior to them Right, we need to do this sort of comparison for information and for connection We need to believe we are more significant than we are otherwise. We would be crushed by our own insignificance But you can do this comparison in a sober advantageous way or you can do it in a destructive way If you quickly and completely confess what you did wrong you can overcome most of your mistakes with people Virtue signaling is virtuous. It is a virtuous thing to virtue signal. So People who walk walk around wearing a mask outside or wearing a mask in their car Yeah, on the one hand, it's stupid on the other hand that they are signaling that they are virtuous people who take the threat of a deadly influencer seriously So virtue signaling has an idiotic component But overall virtue signaling is virtuous. It's a good thing animals are constantly signaling Why would human beings be anything else? What would you rather people signal that they are bad people? That they are cruel people I think people signaling that they are virtuous is a good thing If you react to an angry person with empathy, they will usually calm down Act and speak as though your words and your actions Were accurately represented on the front page of the new york times, all right So this is the single best test. I'm aware of for gauging what is appropriate and proper and right behavior We're all driven to improve our social status, but the more extreme and out of kilter our drive The more likely we are to step on the toes of other people and they will retaliate and they will hurt us Good way of judging one's importance in a particular profession is how much income you legitimately legally and ethically and derive from it You bid for someone's attention and you fail perhaps try once more don't go beyond that You must give someone unsolicited advice do it only once You can't help yourself and you do it again forgive yourself for being a bloody fool and try to limit yourself Another painful confrontation with someone I look for where I am at fault and someone criticizes me I try to look for where I am at fault when someone important to me says something I look for how they could possibly be right I carry around people important to me in my heart All right, they affect how I conduct myself They affect how I speak if I forget my boss's interest or my client's interest I lose that boss or that client right lose that job if I forget my friend's interest I lose those friends I want to live so as to simultaneously develop those relationships and friendships most important to me and Simultaneously pursue what I believe to be right these two things are often in conflict I don't want to fall down on either side of the spectrum. I want to Seek the middle path the freedom and community or in opposition So I will regularly sacrifice some freedom for community and some community for freedom Just because you don't like something doesn't mean you need to be angry about it Just because I don't like something does not mean it is not good for me When you avoid things that make you uncomfortable you put yourself in a prison of anxiety and depression Happy successful people tend to be more willing than average to appropriately extend trust to others You're not living in reality your dreams and visions will turn into straight jackets and nightmares We all need more power and the best way to get more power is to connect with other people Losers lose themselves in drama producers minimize drama If you can't get love in your life You will maladaptively seek attention to compensate that has been A driving energy behind much of my online activity We all belong to multiple hierarchies. We will tend to value the one in which we rank the highest So consider the mailroom clerk is also the best player on the company's software team The latter may be emphasized and become a source of considerable self-esteem. That's a quote from somewhere We weren't born yesterday. We did not evolve to be gullible about our own welfare Advertising a propaganda do not change us unless we want to change You're extremely unlikely to change someone else's bad behavior The more you call that person out the more likely he's going to get defensive and double down on his bad behavior That's Wall Street Journal What is the most honest part of the body? Your feet right your feet never lie Right, so if you're talking to someone and your feet are pointing somewhere else that means you want to get away Right your feet tell you your priorities Your head and your heart are often delusional. How do you how you behave as who you are? How you behave is what you truly believe if you want to know the truth about yourself about your character look at how you behave That's from home cave When we encounter things we can't handle we will tend to react with fight flight freeze or thorn Right, so these reflexes We usually quickly translate into emotions of anger such as fighting fear such as flight or hiding such as freezing Humility simply means accepting reality insanity means denying the truth sanity means accepting the truth Be who you need to be during the work day The subordinate and assistant a cashier a janitor a clerk, but don't forget who you are your vision Communication builds on itself just as hiding collapses on itself polish here and shine there from the karate kid If you have a problem in one area of your life Right, you have this problem all over your life. You just can't see it So if you habitually overeat a guarantee that you habitually overindulge in other areas of your life You habitually lie in dating you lie in other areas of your life. You're nasty with your spouse You're likely nasty to others as well If you lie about what you believe and what you practice with your religion Like to do the same in other areas of your life if you get in panic attacks in elevators You likely have this same anxiety problem in other areas of your life You hide in one area of your life. You're probably hiding in many areas of your life Can't control yourself on social media likely have unmanageability in many areas of your life You smoke too much or watch too much tv You likely overdo many other things if you're vague with your exercise commitment You're likely a vague in many areas of your life People tend to find you annoying in one aspect of your life. You're likely obnoxious in other areas of your life, too You have an instinctive suspicion or hatred of people in authority at work or in your religion You likely have this baggage with authority elsewhere in your life You can't get over loss in your love life. You have this problem elsewhere in your life Most circumstances if you're aligned with reality or with god You will feel content and serene. You don't feel content and serene most circumstances means you're not aligned with reality You're not aligned with reality if you're not serene and content most the time you will hurt other people hurt people hurt people So we're constantly transmitting who we are to others. Ah, there's a line from Dennis Prager when you text You don't just text words. You also text you You learn to help somebody ask yourself if you yearn to help somebody ask yourself your motivation Is it coming from a good place or a bad place? You want to tell a joke is it because you want to transmit joy or to seek attention Not sure about saying something ask yourself. Is it helpful? Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it timely? Am I the one to say it? How you do anything is how you do everything and Let's see back to my rules for life If you love and serve man, you cannot by any hiding or stratagem escape the remuneration Ralph Waldo Amerson So if you're an under owner like I have been most of my life Right there are probably some ways that you're not really being of much service and much help to people What does it mean to put first things first? This is another very important part of my life is to get off to a really good start with every day So for me, that means a cold shower at the start of the day Do the most important things in my day in descending order of importance And uh get clear about what is of secondary importance to myself such as social media, right? And uh making sure I don't get sidetracked in the first 10 hours of my day with nonsense Rushing and trying to multitask a science to your nervous system that you are not okay Happiness means loving where you are what you have Your nervous system's omnipresent question is am I safe? Intimacy purpose the first things to go when your nervous system gets corrupted by things like cell phones red loskin there Gerald Mundus Author of a book on under earning and author of a book on how to get out of debt Is the action taking the action is the success the results are out of our hands Fred loskin again Our default emotional state is anxiety Our protection against this anxiety is connection with people we love Happiness is the ability to love and to be loved. We are programmed for fight flight or freeze Certainly when we feel compassion for ourselves and others that we are in reality You want to get into reality think about people you love and who have loved you and feel your gratitude It's even press field. It is great book the war of art Most of us have two lives the life we live and the unlived life within us between the two stands resistance quote from Study academic studies saying have a nice day I take care to a stranger's linked with greater subjective well-being Minimal social interactions with strangers contribute to subjective well-being in everyday life So often hang out to her dog parks and just say hello to people Transformation begins when we decide that continuing on as we are is intolerable the pain of not changing outweighs the pain of changing Here is one of those rare quotes from the series a dance to the music of time Is from book two not many quotable sentences in these works, but I like this paragraph I used to imagine life divided into separate compartments consisting for example of such dual abstractions as pleasure and pain love and hate friendship and enmity As time goes on He's supposedly different worlds draw closer so that at last the diversity between them seems to be almost imperceptible In the all the inhabitants of these outwardly disconnected empires Can now to be tenaciously interrelated love and hate friendship and enmity too. It's like a dictatorship and democracy. They're not Opposites they are both integrated in each other Fred Luskin who wrote the life changing book forgive for good As he time it again that when hurt people reconnect with their noblest goals, they gain an immediate burst of power Finding your positive intention reconnects you with your goals The sad truth is your grievances Separate you from your most positive goals through your excessive focus on what went wrong The biggest drawback to telling grievance stories Is they keep us connected in a powerless way with people who have hurt us when we mull over our past wounds and hurts We remind ourselves of a part of our life. It did not work Reconnecting with our positive intention reminds us of our goals and enables us to move forward You can tell if you have processed something if you can talk about it without physiological reactions such as stuttering your voice cracking Your face flushing if you can't talk about something without getting triggered you have a processed it If you can't talk about Your urges without getting triggered you haven't recovered if you still have Triggers you haven't processed and come to terms with you Intensity of your triggers is inverse to your level of recovery Triggers a sign you need to work your program in blunter terms Triggers are bullshit Stepwork reduces our unnecessary sensitivities that makes us more resilient A sign of recovery is living an increasingly transparent life Is a paragraph from the war street journal? People feel more extroverted more agreeable more conscientious when they are in other places compared to when they are at home People feel more disorganized more chaotic when they are at home So when you spend time in social environments, you will feel more compassionate more open-minded more kind Compared to when you are at home and my final rule for life You cannot be happy without friends You cannot be happy without friends Friends make the journey through life so much easier. Okay. I was just reading a terrific psychology philosophy paper Because I was I was googling is where I want to do I was googling epistemic Epistemic corruption and epistemic sabotage And I found a great pre-print of a 2023 philosophy paper on epistemic black holes how self-sealing belief systems develop and evolve So how do people believe really crazy things complete?