 Item No. SCP-2337 Object Class Euclid Special Containment Procedures SCP-2337 is to be kept in a standard avian habitat cell with soundproofing. All are required to wear Level 3B-5A-7A-26M air protection while handling SCP-2337. Transportation for SCP-2337 is to be carried out using a portable soundproof crate. Though SCP-2337 has no need of nutrition, gummy worms are to be provided upon request and not restricted as a reward for good behavior. SCP-2337 calls them Strangle Fruits. Due to SCP-2337's poor grasp of cause and effect, punishments and rewards will inevitably result in frustration on part of involved personnel. As of December 5, 2014, all staff were advised to not attempt to emulate SCP-2337's speech patterns in its presence, and are assured that SCP-2337 understands some degree of human English. Description SCP-2337 is a male corncrate. Corrects, corrects. It is sapient, sentient, and capable of speech. All of its vocalizations are extremely loud, with a minimum observed volume of 90 decibels and a maximum of ██████, though this can and has caused damage to personnel's hearing, SCP-2337 is oblivious of its ability and is generally friendly with Foundation personnel. SCP-2337's vocalizations take the form of a language tangentially related to English. It often appears to be word-celled, but, upon closer inspection, can have meaning in English through a series of vague innuendos, metaphors, rhyme, and arbitrary insertions of the word cac. As such, SCP-2337 will answer to the name Dr. Spanko. Initial reports of SCP-2337 came from unusual noises from a field near ████, Sussex-UK, which led to its capture in the same area. Upon containment, SCP-2337 appeared to take hostile actions against Foundation personnel, emitting blasts of noise that ruptured the eardrums of three agents. Upon later examination, it was revealed that SCP-2337 was attempting to make friendly conversation. Addendum Since the containment of SCP-2337, several sapient creatures contained by the Foundation have displayed knowledge of its existence and have expressed interest in a meeting with SCP-2337. The reason for this has yet to be fully understood. Though it is believed that SCP-2337 has some sort of status as an authority figure, there are several particularly dangerous beings. Key to reclassification has been proposed for this reason, but is currently denied to the SCP-2337's apparent cooperation with the Foundation. Interview with SCP-2337 December 5, 2014 Please state your name for the record. KACC Am Christian-haired Dr. Spankoplex Am co-oclele named Splat with SCP-233 and Steven Am complicated across the state Thank you. And how? Listen, SCP-2337 SCP-2337 draws a prolonged gasp. It me, KACC You seem to have a pre-established relationship of sorts with several of the more dangerous creatures in our custody. And how? Yes, please elaborate on the exact nature of this relationship. It done be Shalcwart Abel-sauce-am-tricky-mandage-forsuit Ant-root Come packing with store-brand-hostility-cakes-from-mouth-stuff Slavery-kins grew bordered and bearded from Chesapeake Bay to unknown-cadoth My good flibbert The three reigned hobo-stack over and over Alakazam KACC Please repeat that statement in a dialect used by the Foundation 10-4, X-Lax SCP-2337 begins yodeling for three consecutive minutes Please discontinue yodeling Am KACC more sense? We need you to cooperate and explain your answer in a coherent way Mitochondria the molasses and what the Spengelfreaser said, or shame, this escalate the right query queue molasses. They're not hearing me, are you? Tell me what the Nebraska KACC-flip, amigo-salad, KACC KACC? What Ho? Eastward Bound, profound disappointment Snackutations, Dr. Spenco, KACC You am, authoritative? explainer-ate SCP-2337 begins cacking angrily, then proceeds to climb up the Dr. ████████████ Face, and attempt to peck his eyes out. SCP-2337 is quickly sedated with a tranquilizer dart, and Dr. ████████████████████████████████████████████ suffers only minor scratches. This has been noted the only time that SCP-2337 has displayed hostility.