 The fact that it's so common to have difficulty communicating any emotion other than happy and good shows how little creed has been given to the emotional whole. Phrases like emotions are for the weak, and concepts like toxic positivity only further showcase this. We're admonished for being dibby-downers and advised to keep a stiff upper lip, denouncing, ignoring, or avoiding negative emotions, which is likely some of the worst advice ever. Instead of integrating and maturing, we've chosen amputation, and since it's never been openly out there, most of us have little idea how to deal. Negative emotions are an integral part of being a full person. As such, we need to learn how to care for ourselves, acknowledging this aspect, and teach ourselves how to react in a healthy way rather than be inactive or making it worse. 1. Acknowledge and accept your emotions Seems simple enough to say, I am angry and ashamed. So why does it stick in our throats? Honest acknowledgement like this may have been disciplined out, being slanted as shameful or taken as an indication that you are wrong for that feeling. You may have been told the right way is to shut it away and maybe dress it up as something else. Wait, would you ever put a cork in a volcano? You know what we mean. Going la la la I don't hear you to negative emotions doesn't make it magically dissipate into the ether. It ripens until it's ready to burst rotten fruit. The result is something destructive to yourself. Like depression or maybe harming others. When negative emotion yells, I'm getting angry. You won't like me when I'm angry. Don't hide the beast away. Pull up a chair and be there when it hits its peak. Accepting the emotion and letting it do its thing reveals the extreme point is temporary. On their own, emotions can't hurt you. That's what your reaction to them decides. This acknowledgement is the first fundamental step in a process on how to get a handle on the negative. The next step is number two. Practice self-compassion. Great. So negative emotion and I are talking and I feel like garbage. What now? Hey now. Understand you're not garbage. You are a complete, valid, whole being who deserves support. Confused? We understand you may have been taught that any show of negative emotion makes you a lesser person and deserving of support and love. And that is a lie. The concern and love you have for yourself is real and important. Practice self-empathy. Self-empathy is not what I feel is more important than anyone else. It's a practice of being able to say I was wrong and I feel bad. This means that I am capable of emotion, not stunted. I am and always was, valid for feeling and acknowledging I screwed up. In fact, being able to understand you're still the same good solid you, even when you stumble, means you have the wherewithal and stability to be in sync, supportive and helpful to others. Number three. Find an outlet. A healthy outlet. To contrast, when the luck it away and pretend it's not there, method of dealing with negative emotions is practiced. This outlet mutates into a beast of addiction or other destruction. This is straight up not a good time, with no good end to the road. You may be saying, well, I still have to do something. I can't just let it hang out here forever. I want my couch back. Yes. We realize that an outlet is necessary. Here's actually where it can be fun if handled correctly. You get to do something that is enjoyable for you. Pick a good, healthy, feasible activity that makes you go, ah yes. Good times. Or simply a release. It'll be an activity that leaves good vibes long after it's done. No morning after regrets. Ideas? Get a massage, dust off your journal or sweat it out with some exercise. Maybe relief in mediation. If what you're dealing with burns with the hotness of a thousand suns, get some alone time and scream into a pillow. Alternating with watching cute cat videos. That can work too. These are to help you ride the storm when it's peaking. Remember, temporary. The worst will pass and things will chill down. Have some faith in yourself. Number four. Practice showing gratitude. Sure. It's hard to feel they're still good on my life and that matters. When you're sobbing into your ice cream or angrily screaming at your pillow. Yet those good things are still there and it helps to acknowledge that. Don't let negative emotion overwhelm you. Discounting the forces of good in your life. You could think of someone who has been kind to you. Put that gratitude in writing so you can read it back to yourself. This strengthens the good things that boy you up after this negative emotion house guest has left you a mess to clean up. Bonus. You could even communicate that gratitude directly to the person and now there's two people feeling awesome. That's a 100% increase. Massive gains. Number five. Improve your communication skills. We're going to play captain obvious here in the department of redundancy department. The important factor in communicating your negative emotions is communicating. Effective communicating is so necessary and needed. It should be part of the school curriculum. It's needed every day for all of us who aren't planning to abscond to an isolated mountain cave for the rest of our lives. Instead, we're expected to just figure it out. Punished early on for saying how we really feel and never taught an alternative. We're just told not to feel it. This has resulted in a population who find difficulty saying I feel this negative emotion without being thoughtlessly hurtful to others if they say anything at all. If our emotions as a whole were accepted as part of the norm, we'd all have learned from a young age how to perform the delicate dance of tact and empathy with our negative emotion dance partner. This enables you to explain your perspective and your experience without hurting the relationship. So that gruff, gnarled commudian who told you emotions make you weak, they make you soft was likely expressing their own frustrations the only way they knew how. We can learn to be better. Contrary to what old grumpy said, absolute denial of emotions, any emotions is to force yourself to be incomplete as unstable as building with a fractured frame. How are you practicing to complete yourself? What ways have you found to help you process negative emotions? We'd love for you to discuss and share. Thanks for watching and we'll see you soon.