 And I didn't know men have feelings. Dead series because you don't know what you're going up. We are taught that men are not supposed to be emotional beings. And so if Sean actually had an issue with something that I did and he didn't talk to me about it and I was looking at him like, oh, you're upset? Oh, I did something wrong. And like, you're actually giving me an emotional response like, this is not okay. And I'm just like, men do that, like, cause we made a mop, you know, when I see your father and see other people, they get upset, they yell, scream, you know, pop you on the butt, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, typical stuff or they just shut down. Listen, it's the message right here. Black boy, tell me how you really feel. Cause I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned. You know, you mentioned you guys met over social media. Yeah. I think in some ways it's a good thing. In other ways, it's a bad thing. Cause it gives you the illusion of choice. It gives you like so many options, so many things to do. Travel is more accessible. We're comparing our lives, not just to our neighbors, you know, keeping up with the Joneses, but not keeping up with the Joneses, the Akhmeds, the this, the that, the this. So the question is, do you think in this current landscape, this 21st century landscape, with all these things, you got, you can see all the most handsome men all around the world, that traditional relationships and monogamy can still work in the same way? I think it can if you want it to. If you don't want it to work, it's not gonna work. If you want the traditional monogamy to work, it can work, but both people have to be in an agreement with it. I think the issue now is, both people are not in agreement to be, you know, you have one person who's totally like, yes, I want monogamy and the other person's like, eh, I kind of like this Polly thing over here. It looks more attractive. And then, you know, when you see people on Instagram who have successful or with it, it looks like as successful Polly relationships, you know, it makes it more attractive. Me personally, that's too much work. Keeping up with one man plus my children is enough. Like I could not imagine adding more to my plate. I was trying to, because when it worked difficult, you need to know birthdays, anniversaries, like keep up with our likes, dislikes, making sure you have things, you know, especially if you're a good husband, you gotta make sure that your woman has certain things, you know, and trying to do that for a whole another woman or me trying to do that for a whole another man, like there's a lot that goes into running my house. I could not imagine adding a whole another person, you know, into that. It's a lot of work and I don't have it to do it. And God bless the people who can. I applaud you. That is good for you. It's not me though. It's not your ministry. It's not. I can't. I don't even want to, you know what I'm saying? But yeah, I do think it can work if people want to, but you just have to find somebody who wants to do it with you. And if not, that's not your person. Don't waste your time. A lot of men, especially young men, in their experiences would say that it seems like women only want healed men, nice men, good men, after going through trials and tribulations with the not so good men. So, you know, you hear the thing, nice guys finish last. How would you respond to that? Don't finish last. It just takes them a little longer to guess it. I mean, you get the prize eventually. It's not last. Well, but eventually you'll get there. We as y'all have very different opinions about this. To get to the truth. No, we do. We have very different opinions about this. Like, I feel like people, you have to go through situations in order to find out what you like, what you dislike, what things you're going to go for, what things you're not going to go for. Although my experiences dating sucked a lot, I realized that I was attracting trash because I was lowkey trash myself at that time. Like, I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't have the confidence in myself. I wasn't good. I wasn't healed from childhood stuff. I wasn't healed from relationships that I put myself into. Cause I've taken my elves. So yeah, I put myself in those predicaments, but I didn't have confidence in myself to know that I was better than that. And I deserve better. You deal with a lot of stuff because that's what you think you deserve. And I feel like, is it just women who only want the healed guys? I feel like everybody wants a healed person. Why is the, you know what I'm saying? I don't think it's just women who want that. It's everybody, you know, once you, men go through relationships that are trash to each, you know, men and women, after you've gone through a whole bunch of bad stuff and then you sit back and take a year off and just heal and realize, dang, I put myself through that. And you know, going through your self, what I said, self-actualization was like, when you're actually realizing like, damn, I did this to myself. Dang, I could have did better. I didn't love me enough to put myself, take myself out of that situation a lot sooner than I did. Yeah, you start realizing after like, I don't want to deal with that anymore. And you stop, you know what I'm saying? And that's what I was saying, like if you're going to bring in what you put out. So if you're giving healed energy, you're going to attract a healed person. And yeah, eventually you're going to want someone who's healed because you're healed. You're not going to want that anymore. And I feel like that's for men and women. And it's not just, you know, yeah. Is there guys out there who probably have, you know, they grew up good, you know what I'm saying? So their parents, you know, let them be emotionally intelligent and they have all that stuff. That's a blessing, you know? And if a woman can catch them when they're early and get that and she's already a healed person, God bless them. Let them have that, you know, unity early. But a lot of us, that's not the case. Like, I'm just throwing numbers, but I can guarantee about 90% especially as African-Americans out here. Like, they stop. Everybody's went through childhood trauma. Everybody's had, you know, a rough childhood or didn't have what they felt like they need. And, you know, after you've healed from it and you've gone through your therapy, you've gone through counseling, you've gone through, you know, finding your spiritual self and all that stuff, you realize, I deserve it better. And so, yeah, I think not just the woman thing, I think it's men too. Everybody wants somebody who's healed. And it might be until you get in your 30s that you find these healed people because it's usually a journey to get over there. And when, that's why I tell my sister, she's young, I'm like, girl, heal. You're the 21, heal now. So you can be prepared for someone who is healed too earlier and you don't have to wait so you're in your 30s or 40s to, you know, find a good relationship. So. What would you say to Francis, my little brother? He has noticed that a certain type of guy has more success with women his age. Yeah. And he has the choice to either like, remain a good guy and don't get no play or adapt and become future. Become ruthless, knock them down and then later on in life settle down. So what would you say to him to not become corrupted by the reality of the 90%? It sucks. It sucks. It does. For those guys who are just genuinely already good because they have good mentors and good people around them. Like, I know it sucks. And I know it sucks by having to play as often as you want, but they're really good girls out there. And eventually you have to go in those spots where those good girls are too. You can't just put it out all on women. You know what I'm saying? Like you're choosing. You're choosing that. You know what I'm saying? So I will tell them choose better. Like make sure you're choosing the right type of woman. You know what I'm saying? Like ask the question. One thing that I would say, if she doesn't embody the fruits of the spirit, you probably don't want her. You know what I'm saying? Like that's not your girl. But also if you're only going after the Instagram models and not all Instagram models are bad, you know what I'm saying? But if that's what you're going for, they like a certain type of lifestyle. If you can't provide them, then you're in the wrong. Don't go for that. That's not what you are looking for, you know? So choose good too. They're there. There are women out there who are healed. We had good parents who did the work already, who did it early. You know what I'm saying? And you just have to find that they're there. I'll say this though. I'll say this. Let me hear. I think, you know, in my experience, in my pimping journey. I have noticed the difference between good men and shitty men is a lot wider than the difference between good women and shitty women. Ooh, it's back home. Number one, sometimes good women and shitty women look the same. They got the same makeup, the same outfits, the same hair, the same lashes. They talk the same. They believe in the same things. And sometimes, with the believe in the same things, we're talking about feminism. We're talking about, you know, there's some girls who like seeing city girls because it's just fun. And then some girls who like, they really want to walk men like dogs, right? But I think what's even more key is, the city girls want a future. Yeah. The church girls want a future, too. In a lot of men's experience. Okay. Like, there was a post that went viral recently. A girl was talking about being a pharmacy tech and wondering why the drug dealers only go after IG models when she could actually help them grow their enterprise. Ooh. Ooh, she got that much? So it's like, even the corporate women and you see it, when you outside, you see this too, like the corporate women, the nurses, no offense. You know what I'm saying? The doctors, the this, this, they still want that pseudo-masculine to park with a PhD. So why, how do you explain to young men who are noticing some of these things, how to navigate, how to vet, how to differentiate if they are looking for something a little bit more serious? Honestly, I can see what you mean by that. Cause, you know, I like to turn up the city girls too. You know, playing the music is like, yes. How, and I don't know if, you know, you're spiritual, but how I was able to discern was, like I said, the fruits of experience. You ask God, I do this immediately. As soon as I mention God, if this is not for me, go ahead and take me out of the situation. I remember I went to the club and this is, you know, I was just hanging out with some friends and you know, this was before I met Sean. And I was like, let this guy, he was, you know, perfect, you know, tall, handsome, you know, I was like, oh, this guy, he spoke French. I was like, oh, you know, I love me a cultured man. You know what I'm saying? I was like, this exciting. I was like, oh, we clipped immediately. Had this great chemistry. You know, he got a little tipsy, you know, we're sitting in the car talking, told me all his business, you know, all of his business, too much of his business. Now that he was living with his baby mama and the two kids and he's, you know, he doesn't want to really be with her and all sorts of stuff, it was a hot mess expressed. And I was sitting here like, you now, now before, clearly when I found this out until six months into the relationship, God told me that immediately. That same night that I met him, cause I was excited. I was like, this is gonna be my husband. Okay. God told me that immediately. I will remove the trash for you if you ask him to do it. He will. And you have to have faith in that. So going back to your question, God asked for the discerned spirit to come on to you so you can discern whether or not this person, you will know immediately if somebody is really trash. Now, of course you have the girls who are doing the same thing. I get it. I do. Cause you know, we do it. I like my makeup done. I like my hair done. We're rocking the same things. I want to be cute too. You know? I want a flat tummy and a big booty. Like I want all those things too. I want to be cute, but her spirit would be different. You know, how she answers certain questions is going to be different. How she treats people is going to be different. Like, you don't know within the first probably weaker tool from talking to that girl if she's different from other females. Like you will know. God will tell you and ask God to remove whatever it's not for you to remove it. Take it off your plate. He will. Cause you like, she was cute. I really liked her. And he's like, it's not for you. It's not, you know, there's another one who looks just like her, but she has all the qualities that she needs. You know what I'm saying? And I would tell that to a man, woman, anybody. Ask God to remove what's not for you. Take it off your plate so you can be prepared for what it is. Cause if you sit over here messing with her, you wasting time that you could have spent with another female who's actually good for you. And yes, I can understand what you're saying. It's been close proximity. But there's a difference, but you just have to pray to have that, to know that difference. Cause when you get out caught up in, you know, the lust and she looks good and you get caught in this looks and all these good things. Like yeah, you're not going to be able to see the difference because you're caught in what she looks like. What, what is the most difficult part about being married slash? What do you miss most about being single? I'm not going to lie. There's not much I miss about being single. Maybe sleep and that's cause I have kids. Sleeping in, sleeping on earth. Even today, like we could have slept in. I was up at seven o'clock and I was just like, why? I want to sleep. But I don't, I've seen poor for everybody, not just for women, but for men too. I've seen what is out here where the pickings are slim. You know what I'm saying? Finding people who are normal, healed, you know, trying to be good people, like genuinely good people. Because like you said, everyone's trying to be like future. Everyone's trying to be like a city girl. And because that's what looks popular because everybody's trying to be like what culture tells them to be like, you know? So, you know, it is sometimes just, you know, trying to find a diamond in the rough. I don't know if you ever write that book about the three attachment styles. A lot of people have that avoidant attachment style. And then those are the ones who are in the dating, you know, pool. So if you have somebody who's like that, you're not going to really find somebody who has a security attachment style to be with. So finding that is difficult. And I will say that. So I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I miss dating or anything like that. I don't miss trying to figure out things about people and trying to figure out if they like me and playing the little game. Like, oh, you didn't call me today. You know what I'm saying? I don't want that. I don't miss it at all. I like having the security of being married and having somebody to come home to that I know like loves me. And I'm hoping he not going anywhere. He told me he wasn't. So I try to stay up with myself but I like that security. I like having my person and dealing with me and all my stuff, you know what I'm saying? It's willing to deal with it and ride it out with me. I can't sit there. Other than sleep, that's the only thing I miss about being single. And that's what was without kids. So that was removed from me three years prior to even being strong because I have a son. So we don't get sleep anymore. But that's probably the only thing I miss. 95% of my relationship is giving grace. Like, oh man, like everything, it just gets on your nerves because you're with this person all the time. So you're like, oh, there's times I'll be looking at him in a bit. I'm just like, ooh, just get on my nerves. I just can't stand you. And I look at him like, I was like, he's mine though. I like him. It's okay. And I put him close. And I'm like, it's all right. I'll get over it. It's okay. But, you know, you give a lot of grace because we have good days. We have bad days. We are trying to deal with this person. My therapist, we started, we did counseling probably. You're one of our marriage. We did individual counseling. And you're two, we started doing it together after I had my second son. And I remember my counselor would tell me, she said, because I would tell her all the stuff he was doing. He was like, he doesn't listen to me. He should just know that he's supposed to do this for me. And she was like, he's triggering you. And I was like, yeah. I was like, why would he just sit here and trigger me like that? And she's like, that's what he's supposed to do. She was like, a marriage is like a mirror. They're literally showing you all the crappy things about yourself. Everything that, for lack of a better word, ain't shit about you. They are showing this to you. And you have to be like, oh, I need to work on this. I tell the story out loud, but I remember, we live in Texas. There's always critters, okay? So I remember there was a snake in my front yard. And my brother had told me and I was like, I wouldn't, Shawn was working overnight at the time. And so I went in the room and I was like, you gotta wait cause I'm like, I got a husband now. I ain't gotta go out here and chop this head off this snake myself. I got a husband. He could do it. So I went and woke him up and he's like, loudly gagging and getting out of the bed. And I'm like, Shawn, you need to get up. Then he needs to have energy. Like there's a snake in the yard. You know what I'm saying? Kids are at risk from this snake. And I coulda, I coulda went out there and killed the snake myself, but I was like, no, he's here. I got a husband. He needs to do all that, right? And he was so tired. So by the time he went to go get the snake, it was gone. And I was like, disturbed that he did not have enough energy to get up when I asked him to and just hop up out of his bed and go get this snake. And I remember telling my therapist, I was like, I was upset. And I had told him, I was like, you need to protect our family. That's not protecting our family. And I remember my therapist told me, she was like, you know, you woke this man up out of his sleep. And she was like, he was knocked out. He was a deep, good sleep. And you woke him up out of his sleep to go and protect your household. One, she's like, you coulda did it yourself. And I coulda, I coulda killed this snake myself. I coulda. You don't cut your girl. Go chop the head off. And two, you're mad at him for not having enough energy to get up out of his, after he just worked all night, providing for your family. And she was like, you have protection issues. And I was like, what? She was like, that stems from your childhood. She was like, I don't know which parent wasn't around or who didn't do what. And it made me realize I do have protection issues. It stemmed from, you know, my logic because I wasn't around. And so I didn't feel protected as a child. I always felt like I was the one who was protecting everybody else. I always had to make sure everybody else was good. And I didn't realize that I was putting these unrealistic expectations on my husband. He was being my mirror. He was triggering me. So I'm like, oh, this is something I need to work on about myself. I'm not healed from this. So literally marriage helps you heal from all those things that you didn't even know was an issue to begin with. For the ladies who are listening, is there something in your time on earth, in your time being married that you've learned about men that was surprising to you? Like, it doesn't make sense on the surface, but like, no, men are actually like this. Oh, I'm gonna go ahead and take it here. Your sex drive is crazy. Like, I didn't know that was a thing. Like, you know, when you're single and if you, you know, doing your thug disease, you know, out here fornicating, like you, you know, it's fun. You know what I'm saying? But like being married, I'm like, oh, you expect to bust a wide open all the time. Like, I'm top guard. I cooked, cleaned, taken care of these kids, like worked, like who got time to sit here and do this every night? Like who's gonna do this? And like that was, especially after I had my son and I double postpartum depression and Sean was a saint through it. Like he was in here, you know, just being so, he's a rock star, but it's tough, you know? And I realized that my boyfriend was suffering, you know what I'm saying? Cause I wasn't available emotionally or physically for him, especially after having my kids cause I was battling my own stuff. The sex drive is crazy. Like, yo, like legit. And it's like not, like y'all can't help it. Like this, this is here and it needs to be taken care of. And I'm like, who has time to do that all the time? Like every day, like it's ridiculous. Like who does it that much? Like why? Like why are y'all doing it so much? I didn't know it was that like for y'all, like it's like a real thing. I thought, I was like, y'all just must be sex addicts out here. Like this is ridiculous. But that's just the normal DNA for me and like party y'all's makeup. Like y'all really, y'all be needing sex. Like on a regular basis. Like not even a regular basis, like all the time. So we had to come to a compromise, our relationship about that. Cause I didn't, I didn't think it was that serious. And he likes to have to sit me down on time. Like, no, like this is, this is all men. This is not just me. Or let me just say, the large majority of them, this is a thing. I didn't, I did not know that about men. And I didn't know men have feelings. Dead serious, because you know- Oh my God, please. We are taught that men are not supposed to be emotional beings. And so if Sean like actually had an issue with something that I did and he sat and talked to me about it. And I was looking at him like, oh, you're upset? Oh, oh, I did something wrong. And like you're actually giving me an emotional responses. Like this is not okay. And I'm just like, men do that. Like, cause men of all, you know, when I see your father and see other people, they get upset. They either yell, scream, you know, pop you on the butt here or like, you know, typical stuff or they just shut down, walk off. Don't, they close off their love to you and stuff. And I thought that was normal. I didn't think it was normal for men to have emotional responses to stuff. Like, but it is like men have emotions too. And it's okay. And I'm trying to make sure that I'm teaching my boys healthy ways to give those emotional responses. And, you know, not just walking off or if you do need a minute's like, you know what? Let me have a minute to, you know, process this. And then we can sit down and talk. Oh, excuse me. But, you know, just being able to express themselves in a healthy way. Cause my, the men in my life, as far as like, when I think of father figures and stuff, they didn't, they didn't do that. You know, men, you didn't argue with no female. Yeah, I'm not gonna say you're arguing with you. You having a woman feelings. I'm not gonna entertain it, you know? So seeing a man actually sit down, dialogue, have a conversation about stuff. It was, it was different. I was like, oh, this is, this is not what I'm used to experiencing from people. And it was, it was like, okay, this is good. You know what I'm saying? It took me going to therapy. Cause at first I was like, he over here complaining. Like, you know, like, and then she was like, no, he's not complaining. He's telling you how he feels. I'm like, oh, men have feelings. That's normal. Yeah, I didn't, I did not know that. When I, you know, I thought that was, any man I had been with, it passed. Like they just shut down. There was no talking about anything. And I was sitting here lost, trying to figure out what they may be feeling, you know? That was life. I thought that was, I thought that was normal behavior. And like I married and realized, oh, that's not, that's not normal. I have been not getting normal responses to stuff. Yeah, that makes it. Absolutely, absolutely. So talk about conflict resolution. That's a question I get from women a lot. And I think it's part of their fear, and men's fear as well, getting in long-term relationships. How do you guys, or how have you learned to resolve conflict? Let me say, we are still a work in progress. Okay. I'm not gonna sit here and lie to the people and act like we have it all figured out cause we do not. But what I learned in counseling and I try to implement, I don't use you statements. I don't go, you should have done that cause that was me from the get. That was me very in the beginning of the relationship. I was always, you gotta do this, you gotta do that. If it comes off accusatory and people don't wanna, you know, they're like, all right, let me shut down and, you know, not even hear what you're saying because you are accusing me of all this stuff. It's like, it doesn't feel good. And you don't really like it when people do it to you. So when I do bring things to him, I try to do it more as a we or I tell him how I felt in the situation and not necessarily be like, you should have did this. And I was like, no, well, this made me feel this way. You know, it's one of my first things that I do. You know, they try to do the compliment sandwiches. It don't always work. But Sean likes to talk about stuff immediately. I do not. I need my time to process. And he had to learn that about me. So me, I need, we, I'll tell him, you know what? This is not a good time to talk about it. But I give him a time on when we can't talk about it. I think that's something that's healthy that we learn to do. I need to start doing that. Yes, because you, he was like, when you do, when you just shut me out, he was like, it makes me feel like, you know, I'm sitting here wondering what I did, trying to figure it out. And you know, it puts them, like, especially if he's at work, he's in a state of like dysfunction all day. He's like, I gotta go home and deal with this. I don't know what I'm saying. So I always tell him like, this is when we're going to talk about it. Give me this time and he respects it. You know what I'm saying? But that was something we have to work through because he wants to talk about it now. I want to talk about it later, you know? So give a time when you can talk about it. So this person's not sitting here all day like, so what happened, you know? What other skills have we learned? My therapist told us to, you know, be in front of each other and to hold each other because it's very hard when you're touching somebody to be like, you know, breathe, let's hold hands, let's talk it out. That's something else we learned to do. Now do we always do it? I'm not saying we're saying like, no, we do not always do it, but sometimes we'll be laying in the bed and we'll, you know, okay, touch me, touch me now. Yeah, yeah. And so that's something else we do. So we're not getting all riled up about stuff we do, try to have. And then Sean likes to do these check-ins. I don't really care for it, but he does check-ins. I feel like it's like, this is not a test store. And I didn't like fifth grade, but he likes to do check-ins. Like, you know, a couple times a week, he was like, how are you feeling? Like, you have to give me a grade where we are. And you know, when we really suck in, I'll go ahead and give him that grade. I'm like, you know what, we're at a C right now. We, we are at a C. See how I did that? I didn't say you. I said we. We are at a C. So we need to fix it. So, yeah, that's something else that Sean will do. And he'll be like, okay, let's grade and, you know, see how we're doing. And then we'll talk about it. And I feel like that helps a lot. I don't like it necessarily, but when we do suck, I'm like, okay, let me get this grade. So then we can open up the conversation on how we can get better. So your brand is scary to remarry. Scary to remarry. And a lot of people are terrified to even marry. You know, we got the 50% divorce rate. We've got 80% initiated by women. We've got infidelity. We've got finance and child support, family court. How would you speak to people who are, let me not even call them scared, but apprehensive about the institution? Everybody's not meant to be married. This is what it is. I can say you're gonna be honest about that. Everybody is not. Everybody out here is not supposed to be married. And if you know that person is you, then don't do it. Don't waste your time or anybody else's time and don't put each other through the trauma. It's unnecessary to do trauma to sit there and put it. Because, you know, especially, you know, being, you're Nigerian, right? Being inspired, marriage is big, big thing. Yeah, I've been through a few Nigerian weddings, okay? And so, you know, a lot of times people will get married just to appease everyone else. And that's because what culture tells you to do. But obviously, if you know you're not that person, you know that you're not going to give somebody what they deserve because honestly, being married, you're serving this person. You're serving your family, you're serving, you know, you're literally having to give up yourself. If you know that you're a selfish person and you're not ready to have kids and not ready to be married and do all the other kind of stuff and get that part of yourself, then don't do it. Don't waste your time. Don't waste anybody's time. Everybody's not meant to be married. Everybody's late like being selfish. And I said selfish people live longer. So I don't know if that's what it is, do you? You don't live a long life, but you're gonna be by yourself because you also think about these things when you get old. That's a scary place, okay? That's scary. It's scary. I see, you know, my stepfather, he recently had a stroke and this was like his third stroke. And it was a really a pivotal moment for Sean and I because we were both looking at him like, this, what if that's one of us when we get old? Like, and he hit my step dad, he has, there's 13 of us all together, including stepchildren. So yeah, sons, kids, but yeah, he's the most, the most. But like, you know, we're family and you know, seeing all of us pull together to make sure he had the things, it was beautiful, but he's not married, and it's like your wife should be helping you do all these things. Your wife should have been the one who's in the hospital with you and now you're putting that burden on your kids who have kids, who have jobs, who have their lives and stuff. And it's like, I don't want to do that, when I become older, you know? And you know, Sean, my husband is a little older than me. So he was like, oh, it put us in a state of like, dang, like, you know, we gotta start making sure we're prepared for retirement for our future, you know what I'm saying? And that is scary to be by yourself in old age. And, you know, cause your children are only gonna do so much, you know what I'm saying? At the end, it's just you and your family. Especially boys, boys ain't as, yeah. They say boys take care of their mothers, but I usually see, just seeing like our family down there, it's the girls who are in there taking care of my daddy, you know what I'm saying? It's like, some of my brothers are really good, they'll do everything of course, but for the most part, we're the ones who do, you know, a lot of the work. So, even with a whole bunch of kids, it's a lot nicer when you have somebody who lives with you full time to help you do those things, they'll take care. And you might not have been in a stroke situation cause your wife is cooking your meals, or, you know, making sure she stays on top of you, you know that mirror. You're not being healthy. What are we gonna do about it? You know what I'm saying? Like showing you these are the things that you need to do cause when you're by yourself, you don't know you're being unhealthy. You're like eating this, I'm eating that, doing what I'm supposed to do, right? I ate. It doesn't matter that, you know, it's beef and eggs that have high cholesterol and it's, you know, making me have a heart attack later. You don't think about those things. You think what you're doing what you're supposed to do. Cause especially man, y'all don't even go to a doctor. Y'all have to push this man to go to the doctor. I have to schedule off a day for him to be off of work, to send him to the doctor to get his well checked. So it's like when you have your wife there, you know, keeping on top of those things, it helps, you know what I'm saying? So that will be the only thing that, and you should not just marry for that. You should marry because you're actually willing to, you know, share your life with somebody and be able to give of yourself in that way. But if you're not there, don't do it. Don't waste a good time. And then y'all can have kids until y'all are 70. Like y'all, you can take your time. Y'all can take y'all time, get married. And when we, you know, some women like, I like an older man, you know, personally. So I think y'all, you know, men can do that. Now women on the other hand, I buy logical talks. It's just clicking. You want kids, right? You know what I'm saying? Because it is a lot more difficult to have kids when you're older, you know, and being a woman. So for us, it's a lot different. But for men, you know, if you're not in a space where you're ready to get married, don't waste anybody's time. Don't make women think that you're ready and put both of y'all in that, you know, in a situation to get hurt and cause unnecessary trauma. I'm all about avoiding trauma. And now that I'm in this heel space, if I know it's going to cause me trauma, I don't even walk through that door. I'm like, I go ahead and close whatever door is not for me. So I don't want any unnecessary trauma because I have to go heal from that afterwards. Yes, that's work. I want to keep healing from stuff. I want positivity and joy and happiness, you know? Yeah. Heal, get to a place of healing. And once you are healed, you will really attract what you want in your life. Gain your confidence, you know, keep yourself up, like do what you have to do for you and everything else will fall into place. And then also like I said, I manifested what I wanted. I spoke it into existence. I prayed about it. I just got this, this is what I want. And God gave me, he checked all the boxes for me. You know, is he a perfect person? By all means no, but he is perfect for me. And I think if you are in a healed place, you know, speaking to existence is the things that you want, you know, and they'll come to you. Heal people will attract healed people and you'll get the things that you're looking for. It will come with exactly that same day, probably not, but it will come when it's supposed to.