 Beautiful internet friends a quick word I wouldn't let you know to please stick around until the end of this video if you are interested in winning an eye walk We have an exciting giveaway stick around to the end of the video to find out how you could win Hello, my beautiful friends and welcome back. This is little Bridget You're gonna see her running around if you haven't met my rats before I have three of them Welcome to the very first patreon Q&A. I'm gonna host these now once a month All my patrons get to ask questions I don't answer them all on this Q&A video and then I asked you guys in the community tab to What questions you have and I will tackle as many of those as we can I'm just gonna go ahead and dive in because we have a lot of ground to cover and a lot of really interesting questions Little bit of vanity here. I feel like I shouldn't care about numbers But we're almost to the hundred thousand subscribers or like 80 something and it would mean the world to me If you like this video if you hit like and also subscribe to help me reach that arbitrary number goal That I'm actually really excited about getting to hopefully sometime our first question comes from David David asks me What motivates me to start this channel and to keep it going? I think that's a really good question So I have a second channel called trauma talk that I started years ago And I learned that putting things into words for other people like if I have to make my feelings make sense to a camera They start making more sense to me and what I knew that I was starting to actually consider an invitation That I was really thinking about it as a real option I knew this was gonna be one of the most difficult things I'd ever gone through and To start to put things into words in a way that actually makes sense again for other people was really healing for me So that's what motivated me to start it I thought that like maybe it would connect with like two people who were going through the same situation ever So I just you know put the videos up and then then all of you guys showed up and have been an incredible part of this journey A lot of different things motivate me to keep going the rats are making noise in the background I'm just gonna apologize but keep talking Honestly, I think one of the biggest things that motivates me to keep going if I'm ever like discouraged or anything like that is Comments and stories that you guys share with me and then I get to read it I feel so honored that you guys care and that you trust me to tell me real things about your life and all the support That you've given me Rona asks if I would ever consider getting an amusing tattoo on my residual limb Absolutely, though to be honest it probably won't be an amusing one It'll probably be something deep and serious because that's just just how I end up always getting my tattoos Marina asks about anxiety How do you show your appreciation even when you're struggling and how do you communicate or let them know that you need space? Versus when you need his active support. That is an amazing and a really important question Communication is the only reason that we're here. We have worked through a lot and Learning to really communicate what I needed and when I needed it was important and vice versa for him Oftentimes because I struggle with depression a lot and anxiety a lot He would feel like he was causing it because he was around me a lot And he felt like he was doing something wrong and so we had lots of conversations about why it wasn't his fault why he wasn't causing it why it's something that happens to me and Directing him to other resources. I think was really helpful like referring him to books I'll link a couple in the description that I think might be helpful if you struggle with any kind of mental illness You know that energy is a very limited resource And so there are sometimes where I feel like I can't be a good enough spouse to him But I do whatever I can so I'm always like verbally expressing gratitude and also like if we're sitting on the couch And the evening watching a movie or something like that all rub his back because that's something that he really likes It helps him relax that I I could do Joe asks what I think of the term disabled Do I think of myself as a disabled person or a person like everybody else who just happens not to have two feet? Whoo good question. I guess Technically I am disabled. I mean yes I don't have a problem with the word at all, but I think I joke about it more than anything I don't actually like identify with that word So I guess I feel like a normal person who is just missing a leg more than anything I think I felt a lot more disabled when it came to dealing with like PTSD and Depression and anxiety because those those have been more difficult for me to deal with then losing a leg over the past many years Those have been extremely disabling even though losing a leg is disabling as well Alyssa asks about disordered eating good question She's asking that if I struggle with disordered eating and I did for years I was anorexic for a chunk of time and then I was Polemic for much longer She wonders if the weight loss because of losing a part of my body because guess what you lose weight If your legs chopped off has been like triggering for my eating disorder or anything like that not significantly But like those thoughts will still come up I don't know if it'll ever totally go away Like I don't know if those impulses to like eat less or control it or keep losing weight or like whatever when I don't need To you at all will ever totally go away I've gotten really good at just shutting them down just being like nope We're good done not gonna think about it But yeah seeing a lower number on a scale Because I lost a part of my body does kind of touch on that part of my mind That used to be so obsessed with how much I weighed and for moments I get that feeling like oh good and I have to check myself and be like no that's that's not good Like you're just aiming for a healthy weight at the end So yeah, it's been a little bit triggering but nothing that I haven't been able to handle Kaden asks if there's anyone I particularly enjoying this psychological community Brene Brown I am a huge fan of I really like Elizabeth Gilbert to even though technically I don't think she's in the psychological community. Maybe she is. I don't know if you'd classify her that way I really like the channel depression to expression Scott over there is fabulous I listen to a lot of his content. The body keeps the score is an incredible book that I really love I think it's the best book I've ever read on trauma and psychology when it comes to that I'll link it in the description below as well. Oh One second Yeah, we can't do this. We we can't do that. I'm sorry I'm sorry sweetheart. I know. Oh god. What have you done? What have you done? Well, that was my fault I'm gonna call someone. Hmm. Well, that was a fun little adventure wasn't it? Riley asks Having rat problems. You just ate my sock which ate my foot. Why don't you just hang out on my shoulder and not cause any problems? Riley asks if you could help people to really get One thing about what your life post amputation is like, what would it be? The answer that immediately comes to mind is how exhausting everything is It's hard to explain because I don't think it makes a whole lot of logical sense Scientifically speaking the energy output for amputees is significantly higher than for people who have other limbs Especially any kind of leg amputees. It just takes so much energy to do things Like it takes so much more energy to exist to get a cup of water to do anything And I'm finally getting to a place where it feels more normal where things kind of feel manageable and more normal I'm kind of used to using my eye walk. I'm sure there'll be a better adjustment when I actually can use a prosthetic leg It's so tiring. Everything is so tiring and doing things is really difficult Everything is different like everything is a reminder that things aren't the same and that's okay And I am really tired a lot because just existing suddenly takes so much more Time and energy and it's hard to get stuff done I'm slowly kind of getting stronger and gaining more strength, but it definitely every day is still a struggle energy wise That is it for patreon questions. Let's dive into some community tab one By the way, if you don't know about the community tab, you should definitely check it out If you click on my profile for this joe, it's right there at the top. I'll ask questions to you guys That's a good place for a lot of q&a Or feedback just different things like that that I would love your voice on Okay, this question was asked by tod sincerely I think this is one of the best questions that's ever been asked and it made me like laugh when I read it because I was like Oh my oh my god What tod asks was why do you feel self-conscious about going out in public when you do a good job putting yourself out there for Literally hundreds of thousands of people in your video. First of all, thanks for saying I do a good job I appreciate that. Wow. That is a great question Sometimes I get insanely uncomfortable going out in public like going to the post office or going to the grocery store Which I have done a grand total of twice by myself since losing my leg. Why is that difficult? Why why am I scared of people's like stares in real life when the comments I get online are insane Like people are not nice on the the big videos like the videos that have millions of views Not like you guys like my community here and that's like, okay It doesn't get to me But people being weird about me or like staring too long in public feels like it's gonna wreck me And tell me how that makes any sense I imagine a part of it probably has to do with control this for me Like I was saying before is a creative outlet. I get to do what I want with it I get to control it if someone's saying something like nasty or whatever I get to decide how I want to respond to it. I can take a day. I can take a week I can just delete it like I you know, I can do whatever I want with it But in public it's all real time. It's all right away. It's all in your face I still fear that judgment. Is there a rat doing something? Why why do you want to eat my eye walk? This is little d for anyone who doesn't know I can also control exactly what I show you on camera Like you don't see me standing up all the time like you don't see my amputated leg all the time But if I'm walking around in public people do that's unavoidable So I don't actually know entirely but top. Thank you for that fantastic question It really is still making me think I used to ask Can you please name as many communities as you identify as being part of but in 30 seconds The amputee community the ex-conservative christian community sexual assault and domestic violence survivor community Think faster joe think faster pet owner community. If that's an identity public speaker crap Wife is an identity. I have daughter is an identity. I have I'm failing at this Michaela says. Hey, I hope you see this. I wanted this for a while What is it like to have a youtube channel and to share your experiences and your journey because it's interesting and inspiring Keep up the good work. Thank you. Again. I appreciate that. It's it's awesome I'd say 80 percent of the time. It's a very good thing in my life 20 percent of the time It could be semi-destructive I can use it as a way of not dealing with real life isolating from real people because you need real people in your life You know like that face-to-face connection really means something but the vast majority of the time Hi, it is really good. It's helped me like I said go out and do stuff. It's helped me stay engaged It's helped me have a positive mindset and and the encouragement that I received from you guys really helps me My rat is eating my braid. Please don't do that. She's so sweet Oh, this isn't a good ad for for owning rats. I promise you they are trouble But they're seriously the sweetest little things. So it's great, but also that didn't come overnight. Um, it took me six years of Counseling before I could start trauma talk and talk about the things that I had gone through Like six years of hard work of hard. It's a lot to get there and sometimes it's extremely painful and nerve-wracking to put myself out there Especially one stuff that I'm afraid people will judge me on but it helps me grow and generally my fears are way worse than reality I'm afraid people will judge me on stuff that they don't and if they do I realize that's not as scary As I thought it would be Bruno asked did your family know about this youtube channel? And if so, what did they think about a good question also? So, uh, if you watched my video about unwanted sexual attention as an amputee That's the only thing that they're uncomfortable with. Brian really really hates that. I hate it too. I don't like the gross comments that I get She's stealing my camera cap. What do you what are you trying to do there? Where are you gonna go? She's gonna take it back to her cage Just gonna let her think that she's won until I'm done filming. Uh, one thing that is super odd Like I said, sometimes I'm more comfortable talking about stuff here Because it's a way for me to process things It's a way for me to cope and it's controlled that I am talking to people in real life And so sometimes it freaks me out that people I actually know in real life watch this because I may release a video about How hard things are and how much I'm struggling or that I'm really like deep in depression And then I see them in real life and I'm like Don't really want to have that conversation right now and it makes me uncomfortable that you know that But here we are but no overall, it's been amazing last two questions page asks How hard was it to adjust to driving? It was not hard at all because I used to drive with my left foot anyways I have an automatic car so I don't have to like shift myself I don't need 2p to drive and because my ankle always hurt. I used my left foot to drive Anyways, it's actually how I learned to drive when I was 16 I was having surgeries on my ankle then and so I would always just like tuck my right leg under my left one And drive with my left foot and then it's still what I do So honestly not any change probably easier now that I don't have to like get my right leg out of the way A couple people asked this question Do you think a bionic foot would help your situation? Maybe alleviate some of the nerve issues you've been experiencing that question is from Julie But a couple people asked that I'm not sure what you mean by a bionic foot It sounds cool If it's what I think you mean having like a motorized a computerized ankle essentially where it's like adjusting to me as I walk Sounds like a great idea But as I understand it the technology is not quite there yet And it's also significantly more expensive And I don't know that it would improve my quality of life enough to be worth it Just because I don't know what I actually can use a prosthetic and when I'm walking on it Well, I'll be able to walk on it really well I mean the amputees that I know after they've adjusted to prosthetic legs they walk I mean like you can barely tell like they walk really normally and that's what I can't wait to get to Hopefully soon. Thank you to all of my patrons for being patrons. Thank you for asking awesome questions to everybody I really appreciate you if you like this video if you like any of my content I would love it if you would hit subscribe because we're getting we're getting close to a hundred thousand and Like I've said before that arbitrary number just just sounds cool to me And I would appreciate it if you like this if you'd hit like and hit subscribe and help me get there If you aren't a patron, I'll leave the link down below for you to check it out But make sure that you're checking the community tab so that you get a chance to ask questions When the next q&a video comes up. Thanks guys. I love you. I'm thinking about you and I will see you in the next video Bye guys Cousin trouble Thank you for sticking around until the end of this video. I wanted to let you know, like I said at the beginning We are having an eye walk 2.0 giveaway I am super excited for this because I know that so many of you guys are recent amputees are facing amputation Have ankle surgery are dealing with ankle issues and I wanted to be able to give away an eye walk I wish there was more than one to give away I'll have more coming up in the future But thanks to the partnership of eye walk free the company that creates these products We do have one to give away to one lucky winner on may 30th All you have to do to be entered to win is hop down to the link I'll put it in the description box and also in a pinned comment and enter email address That is it I would ask that anyone who enters be someone who actually needs it or know someone who needs it if you're a perfectly able-bodied person Who just thinks it's a cool toy? Maybe skip out on this giveaway and save it for somebody whose life it could really improve like it has mine Thank you guys so much I look forward to seeing you in the next video and make sure you enter to win May the odds ever be in your favor hunger games anybody. Thanks guys