 The Adventures of Sam Spade, Detective, brought to you transcribed by Wildroot Cream Oil Heratonic, the non-alcoholic heratonic that contains lanolin. Wildroot Cream Oil. Again and again, the choice of men and women and children too. Detective Agency. Hey, sweetheart. Any calls, messages, alarms, or excursions? Just one, Sam. Which? Well, I suppose you might call it an excursion, Sam. He left from the literature. Travelation, eh? Well, a little trip somewhere might be nice. I feel as if I could sleep forever. Oh, Sam! Well, I'm not gone yet. Oh, Sam, you mustn't talk like that. I've been sitting here reading this booklet, and it says it's later than we think. It can't be. My watch says three minutes and nine. Now, though, you see, it is later than we think. I was slow, too, though, I said it by the radio. Well, pick it up and set it in your favorite chair. I'll be right down to dictate my report on the overchart caber, or Fethi's Folly, or who put the corpse in the Murphy bed. Special Hammons, America's leading detective fiction writer and creator of Sam Spade, the hard-boiled private eye, and William Spear, radio's outstanding producer, director of mystery and crime drama, join their talents to make your hair stand on end with the adventures of Sam Spade, presented by the makers of Wild Root Cream Oil for the Hair. Ah, June, month of vacations for all the family. Here's hoping you've planned yourself a good one, and that you'll remember to take along plenty of Wild Root Cream Oil hairs, honey. In spite of heat and winds, Wild Root Cream Oil grooms your hair neatly and naturally. Relieves annoying dryness, removes loose, ugly dandruff. Ask for it in the big, economical family-size bottle and handy tube that's easy to pack in your suitcase. Be sure to ask for it by name, Wild Root Cream Oil Hair Tonic. Again and again, the choice of men and women and children, too. And now, with Howard Duff starring as Spade, Wild Root brings to the air the greatest private detective of them all in the adventures of Sam Spade. Don't say that word again, Effie. I didn't mean in a financial sense, you guys. There you go again. I meant we poor mortals as it must to all men, Sam. We're all clay-footed after all, merely leaving footprints in the sands of time. You need a vacation, now. Maybe you better take that excursion. No! Now, don't act like that. I'll hardly miss you. Oh, Sam! Now, come on, come on. Let's see those travel photos where I'll be. Oh, don't... I plan now for that long, long journey. Our carefree layaway plan relieves the burdens of those left behind. Oh, nice of you to think of me. Luxurious accommodations. Funny-looking stateroom. Why does that bunk have a lid on it? Let's see if I'll explain to you somewhere. Our special nylon-tufted couch type model with chrome-plated magnesium handles and lightweight alloy liner has been called by many satisfied customers the Paul Bearer's friend. Well, I've only... Well, I... Who brought this into my heart? His name is Converse Ethridge. What? He's with the Dardanella Mortuary. Don't mention his name in my presence. That man has no live friends. Now, Sam, don't be too rash on him. After all, it's his living. He is a worm in the apple of contentment, a roadblock in the highway of life, a meter in the taxi cab of happiness. Are you ready, Sam? No! I already have the date, Sam. To whom is this addressed? Hmm? Oh, to Mrs. Joy Overgeard. No, you've got to make that George Overgeard. Mrs. I'll make up your mind, Sam. I said Mrs. Yes. But is it Boy Overbore? I mean, Joy Overgeard? Or is it... It is Judge Overbore. Now, wait a minute. Just let me get this straight, Sam. I have Judge George. Mrs. Oh. Well, to avoid any further confusion, Sam, wouldn't it be just as clear to address it as Mrs. Oh. G. Judge? The name is not Judge F. It's Overgorge. Uh, George... Now, wait a minute, Sam. Now, wait a minute. I just have to be very, very quiet for just a minute. Now, work here. I won't have you putting the blame on... Shh! Now, wait a minute. Mrs. George Over... George. Hi, Sam. That'll make you happier. Thank you, Sam. From, uh... Yes, Sam. License number 137596. That you can get. Uh, subject, your jewelry. Uh, dear Mrs. Overgorge... Uh... Overgorge. In close, you will find my statement for services rendered, which you will no doubt be as surprised to receive as I am to be sending it. It's started, as such things often do, with that curse of civilization, that broken spring and a couch of privacy, the telephone. Yes? Mr. Spade. Speaking. This is Mrs. George Overgorge. Hmm? That's O-V-E-R-J-O-R-D. I have it. I'm staying at the Hotel Belvedere, Mr. Spade. Mr. Stover, the house detective was good enough to recommend you. Oh, then he's good for something. I beg your pardon. Uh, good friend of mine, Mr. Stover. And, uh, what was it you had in mind, Mrs. Overgorge? George. But you're warm. That's my first name. I beg your pardon. George. Oh, I got it wrong. When you, uh, spell it out, I thought... I think you better come over here right away, Mr. Stover. Whatever you say. For here, won't you please? Well, I'll just bring this, uh... Oh, don't bother with the chair. I'll make room here. Oh. Isn't that nice? Uh, yeah. Oh, don't worry about George. He's on a grey-line tour. He won't be back for hours. George? Yes, poor dear. He's my husband. Well, uh, Mrs. Overgorge... You're sweet. Call me George. I feel that since you're a detective, you'll know my secret sooner or later. So, why hide anything? Well, what are these? Feather? Let me take a look. Sort of. Now listen, Sam, to begin with, my husband must never know. Yeah, well, uh... Oh, all right then, yeah. About the jewel. Oh. You see, he gave me the money for a floater policy on the necklace, and I was naughty. You were. I sank it in a wild need. Sam, are you listening? Uh, yeah, yeah. Sure, yeah, yeah. You sank some of these mink. Uh, tell me, uh, when did you want to do a thing like that? No, Sam. I sank the floater. So now it isn't insured, and it's gone. Ran away. Not the mink, Sam. The necklace. What shall I do? It was $30,000. Please. But, uh, what about your husband? He'll be awfully angry. He's an absolute bog on insurance, and he'd be very upset if he knew I was not fully covered. Uh, what time did you say that gray-lined bus gets back? Sam, we just can't, while away precious hours, we've got to find that necklace. My husband... Oh, darling, you're not comfy. My husband... What? What? But, darling, George over George is the richest man in the state of Wisconsin. He'd be very hard to replace. You're absolutely right. Husbands should be kept in that place. Sam, if you don't take more interest in this problem, I just have to get another detective. Huh? Oh, no. Hey, hey, don't do that. Now, what? What are you looking for? Uh, the telephone. I want to check those gray-lined bus schedules. I'm having a PM after we phoned room service with some sandwiches and a picture of martinis. I, uh, got my assignment. It seemed that the hotel thief who had made off with the necklace had been surprised, red-handed, and had dropped the rest of the swag valued at around 100 grand while making his getaway. My problem was to recover the necklace before, quote, George, unquote, I had to put the rest of the jewels in the hotel safe under my name. This I did. About then, somebody breathed down my neck and said, Hello, darling, hello, hello, hello. I froze a second tick by before I even had courage to turn around and face it. It couldn't be, but it was, Pfeffy the Larryu Minescu, a con merchant so slick that he finally swindled most of his competitors out of business and even succeeded to cover the oldest con game of them all, the Spanish prisoner game. The last time I had locked horns with him, yellow diamonds were turning white faster than the hair of the policeman he was sewing for false arrest. Pfeffy's hair was still very black and very oily and the big smiley wore was very white and very oily. Sam, darling, you do that look so shameful. I am angry on you. You're not angry on me. You can't fool with part of the people some other time, but you can't fool Pfeffy for long. You trick on me to lure me out from San Francisco. A gold mine, you promised me. A gold brick mine. But, you see, I am humorous. I don't hate you. In fact, I am contrary. And just to prove that I have no harbor of heart foolings with you, listen, what do you think of this one? Never mind. We buy a printing press. And what are we pressing? Your luck. No, tickets. Wouchers under Romanian national lottery. Wouchers. Wouchers with the iron curtain, darling, good seats for me. Pfeffy, darling, where are you staying? I am a guest on this hotel. I'm sure of that. May I inquire which room the management is losing money on this time? I think I changed. The neighbors have got noises. 317. Also, the plumbing. 313. Stop beating around these bushes. What have you caught me doing? Come on, let's have a look at your room. On the way upstairs to his room, Pfeffy gave me a rundown on the noises in the room adjoining his 315. On one occasion, according to his story, he'd heard a woman scream that the rest of it was all in Norwegian. According to him, Overjord was a Norwegian name. But all the same, it sounded fishy, and I don't mean loop-fist. When I gave him a rundown on the missing Overjord necklace, he threw up his hands in anguish and said, Sam, darling, I think we'd better have a couple of drunks and talk over these. Sit down, Pfeffy. Aren't we thirsty? No. Look, Pfeffy, out of those Jimmy marks, get on that connecting door. Jimmy, aha, now I see it. Not only do those Norwegians have noises, they have bad habits. And this acclaims from you. Pfeffy, why would the Overjords break into their own room from this side of the connecting door? Don't interrupt me. I am thinking. Where does that door lead? To the bed. A bedroom? Don't speak on it. Don't go near it. What's in there? A morphine. Let's have a look. Sam, darling, I don't want you to get hurt. Pfeffy, are you threatening me? Worse. I am warning you. That makes it easier. Sam, darling, don't. Remember, Pfeffy. I'll be quiet. Mrs. Overjord is one if I had to live over, I wouldn't have taken the case for all the fish in Norway. The murphy bed that flew out at me as I opened the door was occupied. The occupant was wearing a dark blue suit, a conservative tie, a small white chrysanthemum in his lapel, and a peaceful expression on his face. He had a very healthy color for a dead man. Makers of wild root cream oil are presenting the weekly Sunday adventure of Dashel Hammett's famous private detective, Sam Spade. Tonight, for the first time, Wild Root announces a big double bargain combination package to introduce amazing new Wild Root liquid cream shampoo. Here it is. You get a 60-cent bottle of exciting new Wild Root liquid cream shampoo plus a 60-cent bottle of famous Wild Root cream oil hair tonic, a dollar 20-cent value for only 59 cents. 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Had my client's husband returned from his gray-line bustle and stumbled into the wrong room? And then what was really my client's problem? To recover an uninsured necklace or get rid of an insured husband? And what was the function of Feffy? Was he an accomplice, a goat, or a body snatcher? At that moment, he was in no condition to tell me because he had fainted dead away. When I had revived him... Where, where are I? In a bad spot, Feffy. Now, stop clowning and try to make sense. Why not? You never saw a man so sensitive. But frankly, I am discouraged. Help me open. Now look, Feffy. I am lucky. You realize what means that Joker, who's finally resting on my Murphy, I will be transported to Bucharest. You should be so lucky. Lucky? A Romanian in Romania? At the mercies of bees, gypsies, and Hungarians? Okay, Feffy, you don't want to go home. I do. The ticket for both of us is my client's missing necklace. Did you swipe it? Necklace, who necklace? Darling, talk about him and I'll listen. Don't worry about that stuff, he'll keep. What about I? He is comfortable. But where will I sleep? In another city, if you're smart. Don't bother to check out. Just drop your bags out the window, hang the do not disturb sign on the door, and dissolve. That should give you about a 24 hours head start. But that would be dishonest. I know, I know. But it's a sacrifice you have to make. Okay. Here. Take the necklace. That's better. And you better take my advice, Feffy. Start packing. Like I told you, that corpse is in good shape, but you're not. There was nobody home in room 315, so I glass-keed my way in and had a look around. I turned up only items that were worth anything. A pair of passports issued respectively to one George over George, and one Joy over George. Also item and insurance policy with inventory attached on the over George Jules. What made that interesting was the fact that the necklace, which my client had told me was not insured, was there in the inventory. After that, I wasn't at all surprised with what I found in the closet. Okay, okay. Take it easy. I'll get you loose just as quick as I can. Here, I'll get these gags out first. There you are. Oh, Joy, are you all right? Oh, there you are. Here. Let me help you up. Oh, my back. For hours in that place, those villains. Who did this to you? We don't know. They jumped on us when we were coming home backwards. Joy, look at the time. Our boat sails in an hour. If we don't hurry, we will miss it. Yes, yes, I will pack. You go now, young man. Thank you. Yes, goodbye. Well, just a minute. I want to get a few things straight. You are Mr. and Mrs. over George. Yes, yes, yes. But we don't worry. Insurance will take care of all. Goodbye. I'm sorry if I'm annoying you, but I'm just not quite ready to leave. Now, if what you had in mind was picking up a little ready cash from the insurance company, I'm afraid I've bollocksed up your caper. Bollocks? Again? In other words, I'm a detective, and I have your jewels. Yeah, you're here. Yeah, yeah, that is good. Just leave them on the table. Yeah, good. Well, it's not quite as good as all that. Before I can hand them over to you, I've got to clear a few things up between you and my client and another guy with a dead man in his room. We don't know any dead men. Not in California. We are from old country. This comes from... Oh, well, that's different. Is that everything you are? Yeah, York. A cold welcome. Don't be in such a hurry. Why not? They shipped all the way. Now, look, this will only take a few seconds. I'll have to make a report on this, you see. So I have to know exactly how it happened. Now, you say you just come into that room. Now, you must have been standing about here, Mr. Overjoy. Not so close to the closet. Well, that's near enough. Now, you just stay where you are. Will you step over this way, Mrs. Overjoy? Oh, yeah, yeah. Hurry, please. Just a little to the left. There. There. Oh, look at the dump! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! Bad for the bad dialects. I thought that would do it. Good. Good. And now, to meet the cold. Yeah, it's a moment. I thought I heard voices next door. I was afraid to go barging in. Where have you been, darling? Almost wonderful thing has happened. My husband left me. He never came back from that gray-lined tour. That might be because he never went. Oh, sit down, darling. There's something I must tell you. Yeah, but you sit there, and I'll sit here. Darling, you've changed. It makes it so difficult, this gulf between us. Joy, if I may call you Joy, we must face it. We live in different worlds. It can never be. Cigarette? But there's no reason we can't meet occasionally and remain good friends. Sure, I'll come to see you on visiting days. Sam, I'm afraid you're making a terrible mistake. Well, I made that when I took you at face value. Your name may be Joy, sweetheart, but you are not overjoyed. Who are you? Darling, it doesn't matter. But I'd rather like Joy, I think, or keep it. Okay, search yourself. How does Fethi fit under this caper? Sam, darling, it's terrible the way that man deceived me. I should have known he wasn't a Norwegian. Well, don't feel too bad about that. He thinks he's Romanian. He told me his name was overjoyed and that it'd be all right for me to stay here because his parents were in the darling room. Now, let's get this straight. Fethi checked in the room three-thirds. The overjords were here. I take it you were in three-seventeen, all with connecting doors. Sort of a pence's movement, shall we say. Well, I thought it rather strange that I never met them, especially after Fethi brought me the jewels and said they were a present from his mother for my true soul. Oh, no. Wait. Before you go any further, Angel, how are you going to get out of that corner without getting paint on your little feet? Well, he finally told me everything and that I was deeply moved. And that I was as deep in as he was. That's when I called you. Why? I was panic-stricken. I had to get out from under. And, baby, look at you now. Well, Sam, you will have to admit that I could have done worse. Unless I misjudged you. We do have a jewel. Yeah, that part of it's all right. But what about that corpse? Of course that. That was in case Fethi got rid of that necklace before he was caught with it. The police would have something else to hold him on so you and I could get out of the country with the jewels. Uh-huh. How'd you get him up here? Piggy back? A bellboy helped me. I told him it was my husband that he was stiff. Yeah, how stiff can you get? You don't believe me? Nope. Oh, I love you. Stop that. All right. Go ahead. Talk to me. Why don't you hit me with your fist? You're a big, strong man. I'm only a woman. What have you got to lose? Look, all I want to know is who put that corpse in the Murphy's bag. How dare you? How dare you make love to me and then insult me and push me around like an old shoe? Oh, I did not. I don't have to put up with it. And I'm not going to. I'm going back to Fethi. He's a crook, but he loves me. I hate you. Come away with me. We will start life anew with a better scheme. But... That old man and that old woman lie to us. They are not overjoyed. They are cooks and robbers. Fethi, no. Damn. I think he's right. But how did you...? I found him in there and untied them. Instead of floating the place, I started packing. So you see, darling, we couldn't take the jewels anywhere. But why now? The M&S to motto inscribed on our family crest. Honor among thieves, except for gypsies and Hungarians. But Fethi, dear, I tried to steal them from you. That was another horse call, my darling. Between you and I is a technical difference. This is known as a double crowd. That is expected from my woman. But from you, Sam darling, I am aghast. I am a falling. You have behaved without charm. I don't hate you. But it is all I can do to forgive you. Calm my love. Now, wait a minute. For what? You have the jewels. You can prove nothing. They're still at corpse. Sam darling, calm, I show you. All was a well-made Murphy bed. The well-dressed corpse was gone. I turned around, so were Fethi and Joy. Period. End of report. Next week, uh, Sweetie's dialect. But Sam! Yes, Eddie. Oh, hardly know where to start. Oh, well, P.S. I have turned your jewels over to the robbery detail of the San Francisco police. Together with Sven and Marta Largeson, who were still in the closet when the police arrived. But Sam, don't you... Oh, yes, add this. The, uh, Largeson's told the cops here that they had worked as household servants in your home in Wisconsin and had hit on their bright idea of taking off of your jewels while you were away on a month-long canoe trip through the Chame Lakes, which gave them ample time to make their getaway. They switched passport pictures and used your name to justify their possession of the jewels in case they were questioned. That, plus the insurance policy completing the inventory, was good enough to fool even being the fairest Fethi. But Sam! One question, Eddie, no more. But if it's about that corpse, save your breath. Go type that up, Angel. I'm still working on it. Well, listen to this. Don't delay. Here's your Wild Root Cream Oil Now, the nation's leading hair tonic with Wild Root's big bargain combination package. For a limited time, you can get a 60-cent bottle of Wild Root Cream Oil Hair Tonic, plus a 60-cent bottle of Wild Root's sensational new liquid cream shampoo, a dollar 20-cent value, both for only 59 cents. Get it today for the whole family. Well, there's a couple of fingers left in there. Will you join me? Oh, thank you, no. I'm not a different kind of stiff. I'm a Murphy, Dad. Well, uh, I'm expecting a break on that any day now. Well, you have a waltz I bet in your apartment, Sam. A similar proximity will inspire you to greater mental fraud. Please, I won't sleep a wink. That's just what Mr. Atheridge said. But I told him you were busy on this big jewel robbery. What was his problem? The Manson Mortuary, you know. That vulture. He is a razor blade in the parachute pack of optimism. He is a sandbar in the river Styx. Well, as I said, Sam, it's his living. But I promise to give you the message. He wants to find this woman. Now, she did a very strange thing. I mean, she came into the Dardanella Mortuary and said her name was O'Rourke. And her husband was there, and then his parents had arrived from Ireland right when he dropped dead. And the Irish relatives were mad because she sent him out for embalming before they could have a wake. And she wanted to know if Mr. Atheridge could sneak him into the hotel before they found out. Why? Didn't you tell me this before? Well, Sam, I didn't want to clutter up your mind when you were busy on a big jewel caper. Besides, he learned that she was a practical joker and got his body all... Sam. Yes, sir. Sam, could it... the one in the murky bed, I mean? Is it the short arm of Coincidence, Sam? Yeah, it probably is. You know, everything that happens in hotels doesn't get in the papers. Hardly a day goes by that some joker doesn't plant an embalmed body in a murky bed. If it isn't that, it's frogs or salamanders. Or sometimes it used to be crackers when so many of them were on the American plan. Crackers? Good night, Sam. Good night, sweetheart. This is Dick Joy, reminding you to...