 Starring Joel McRae and Lorraine Day in The Camels Are Coming on the Cavalcade of America sponsored by the DuPont Company. Maker of better things for better living through chemistry. First, here is Gain Whitman. You've probably heard the saying, clothes make the man. Our clothing does play an important part in the impression that we make on others. So send your clothes to the dry cleaners regularly. Cleaning will keep them looking better, longer. If you choose a dry cleaner who uses DuPont dry cleaning fluids per clean and triclean, you'll get the benefit of fine fluids, especially compounded for cleaning your clothes in scientifically designed cleaning units. DuPont fluids are thorough, safe, and leave no odor. Your clothes are not endangered, and they come back bright and clean with no oily film. Have your cleaning done with DuPont fluids. Members of DuPont's Better Things for Better Living through Chemistry. Starring Joel McCrae as Cyrus Archer and Lorraine Day as Nancy Crane in The Camels Are Coming. Lorraine Day appears through the courtesy of Metro Golden Mayor, whose current release is the Technicolor Musical Harvey Girls. The DuPont Company presents The Camels Are Coming on The Cavalcade of America. The year, 1856. Secretary of War Jefferson Davis guides some important legislation through Congress. And by this act, Congress does hereby authorize the purchase of 10 camels to be used for experimental purposes in the desert areas of the southwestern United States. Congress further authorizes the temporary appointment to the rank of colonel in the United States Army of Cyrus Archer, Professor of Zoology at Harvard University. This appointment will remain in force until Professor Archer has completed experiments with the said camels. Colonel Archer, permit me to welcome you to Indianola, Texas. Thank you, Major Crane. Now, am I to understand that you've been sent here to conduct experiments with camels? That is correct, Major. Are you aware that five days ago the Comanche Indians went on the war path that only two days ago my scouts reported they were raiding eight miles from here? Can you appreciate what that means? Of course I can, Major. But may I remind you that I'm under orders from the War Department. They consider this terrain perfect for this type of experimentation. And may I ask, Colonel, what these experiments are to prove? That camels may prove invaluable as mounts in the American desert regions, as they are in Arabia. Mounts? You mean replace the horses of my cavalry with camels? If the experiments show that such a change is practicable, yes. Oh, no, this mustn't happen to me. This is the stupidest, the most insane piece of matter. Well, Dad, I've been looking for you. I wanted to... Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. No, Nancy, stay. You've just saved me from a stroke. This is Colonel Cyrus Archer from Harvard, Arabia, and the War Department. Colonel, my daughter, Nancy. How do you do, Colonel? The pleasure is all mine, Miss Crane. Oh, Arabia? Then those awful smelly creatures in the street out there must belong to you. Those awful smelly creatures, Miss Crane, are known as dromedarius tilapida. Huh? They are not to be confused with the Bactrianus arduodactyla. Oh, certainly not. No one would ever think of it. Well, persons who are ignorant of zoology often confuse the two. How stupid of them. Why, there's all the difference in the world. Anyone with half an eye can see, Dad. Well, that's right. The Bactrian... I'm sorry, Miss Crane, but I have no time to discuss the fine points of zoology. Does anyone mind if I get back into the conversation? Oh, I'm sorry, Dad. Nancy, since you and the Colonel seem to be getting along so well, suppose you show him to the fifth area where he can stable his bacteria. I'll see to quarters for him. Quarters? How progressive, Major. From the exuberance of your welcome, I felt sure I should have to sleep with my camels. You'll find everything satisfactory, I hope. I'm sure of it, Major. After you, Miss Crane. Thank you. Oh, you go ahead. I'll meet you outside. Very well, Miss Crane. Oh, Major, one more thing. Yes, Colonel? I shall need two good men to assist me in my experiment. I'll get him two good men, all right. Poor Dad. What did they do to you? Oh, they sent me ten camels and a Colonel who looks like one. Dad, he's good-looking. He's an idiot. He looks quite bright, but I think he needs a lesson. I think it. What are you talking about? Well, a man that good-looking should have other interests besides camels. Nancy, what do you mean? Oh, nothing at all, Dad. Nothing at all. You be careful of the camels. Oh, really? Yes, sir. I've got to assign two men to the Colonel. And I want the worst soldiers we've got. Well, they don't come any worse than Alfie and Sergeant Radigan, sir. Is he still a sergeant? Well, you threaten to break him, sir, but you never... Never mind that now. Where should you find them, quick? Well, there's only one place Alfie and Radigan would be, sir, at any time of the day or night. Joe's place. Give us another teal, Joe. Eh, all right, all right, but it's your funeral. Well, we've got to do something. It's January and Indian over Texas again. Oh, sand fleas and Indians. Top of the glass, sir, Joe. Top of the glass. I see Miss Crane's getting ready again. Yeah, sure. It's January. That's what I meant. Every January, she gets ready for that tired old pageant. Well, for six years, we've been doing that thing. Alibaba and the 40 thieves. 40? Why, she never had more than six at any one time. I hear it tells you they're having a hard time in getting a good Alibaba this year. Yeah, yeah. Since Sergeant Connor's ups and went, she ain't got no Alibaba. No, but we sure got to keep out of our way, Alfie, if we don't want to be the 40 thieves again this year. Yeah, things is hard. Why, every time I think of being stuck down here, I get sick all over life. Back where I come from, I could look out the door and see big trees. Down here, when I look out the door, all I see is... Oh, Joe was right about that, Tequila. Huh? What's the matter with you? Hey, you're getting green-colored, Alfie. What's he eating you? Radigan, Joe, I looked out at their door. There ain't nothing out there. But I'm telling you, I saw them. They was 10-foot high. They was mules 10-foot high with humps on their backs. Oh, sure, sure. I've seen them myself. Lots of time being kind of pink, huh? Well, well, there's some more. Radigan, you look. Now, Alfie, I'ma tell you that... No! See? You see them, too, don't you? No, no, I ain't gonna own up to it. I don't want to have to go on the water wagon. Not in January. But they just walked past, didn't they? Alfie, what color was they? The ones I saw was a kind of mousy brown. Oh, well, that's different. If they wasn't pink, it stands to reason we didn't see them. Hey, Joe, give us another tequila. Very nice of you to invite me for dinner, Miss Crane. We're very hospitable in Texas, Colonel Archer. Well, that impression was definitely not the one I received in your father's office. Oh, please don't mind, Dad. He gets easily upset. Especially when Washington tries to touch his beloved fourth cavalry. Well, I gathered that. But you see, Miss Crane, these experiments mean a great deal to me. They may mean a great deal to the United States cavalry in these regions. You mean you're really serious about replacing horses with camels? In some terrain, Miss Crane, the camel is far more efficient than the horse. Well, if that's true, why doesn't the War Department change over right now? A scientist, Miss Crane, takes nothing for granted. What may be the role in Arabia may be the exception in Texas. That is why I'm here to find out. Colonel Archer, how does it happen that you... I mean, have you always been interested in camels? I am a zoologist. All kinds of animal life hold great interest for me. All kinds? Uh, how do you mean that, Miss Crane? Oh, I just meant that it seems strange that a man would devote his life to camels only. Well, I have a job to do, Miss Crane. The camels are my concern at the present time. Well, do you intend to spend all your time with them? See here, Miss Crane, are you making fun of me? Oh, no, Colonel. I just have a little difficulty understanding a man who likes to talk about camels and zoology. It seems stuffy. Well, it is not stuffy. Miss Crane, are you laboring under the misapprehension that I am stuffy? I don't think so, Colonel Archer. I merely assume that everyone has a sense of humor. And I haven't. But you don't see the humor in all this? I'm perfectly willing to see a good joke when one puts in an appearance. But there's nothing to joke about in my experiments. I and Harvard were honored that we were chosen by the War Department to conduct them. Oh, you are stuffy. I am not stuffy. Oh, no, of course you're not. Not at all. Who are you? Mother dear, this is Colonel... Oh, Nancy. Those magnificent-looking beasts I saw. Could they be camels? Oh, no, Mother. Those are dramatarius, uh, something or other. Not to be confused with Bactrianus, something or other. Oh. And this is Colonel Archer from Arabia. Oh, I hope it's not to be confused with either one of them. Of Arabia? Oh, why, Colonel Archer, how do you do? The fourth cavalry bids you welcome. We want you and your camels to have the run of the house. Oh. Thank you, Mrs. Crane. Oh, this is marvelous. You'll be here all of January, Colonel. I hope I won't wear out your hospitality. Oh, of course not. Oh, this is going to make a vast change in my plans. You have no idea what a godsend you are, Colonel. Oh, now, Mother, please. Colonel, you have such possibilities. Well, that's very generous of you, Mrs. Crane, but may I ask how? Just a moment, Colonel. Mother, don't you... Yes, dear. Are you standing there in cold blood thinking of putting Colonel Archer in alababa shoes? Oh, Nancy, really? Ladies, I seem to be at a disadvantage. Not seem, Colonel. You are. If one of you could explain... Ah, there you are, Colonel. Oh, George, dear, we were just discussing the fact... You can discuss it later, Jerry. At this moment, I have something to discuss with the Colonel. What's the matter, Major? Colonel, there seems to be a serious discrepancy in your orders. Really? In what way? According to these orders, the War Department specifically calls for ten camels. But I seem to count eleven. Of course, you have an explanation. Why, uh, yes, Major. But I think we'd better discuss that little matter, uh, man-to-man, so to speak. I'd prefer the explanation immediately, Colonel. Very well. One of the camels is a female. On the way here, she... Oh, how wonderful! Of course, that little baby camel. Oh, perfectly gorgeous. This year, we'll see the greatest of all the alibaba pageants. This year, we'll see my sudden demise if... Colonel Archer. Yes, sir? Do you know what your carelessness has caused me? My carelessness? Now look here, Major. You look here! Because of that discrepancy, I shall have to fill out form USA 238 4J equipment received in excessive equipment ordered in quadruplicate. Jenny! Yes, George, dear? I will not be home for dinner. I shall be making out forms for two weeks. Now, if no one minds, I'll slip out. Slip out? Oh, how gracious! Life in Indianola, Texas has become wonderful. Yes, hasn't it, dear? Oh, now, Colonel, I suppose we discuss the details. Details? Why should we discuss the details when we haven't, as yet, got around to the general outline of whatever we're going to discuss? Mother, you simply cannot put the Colonel in the pageant. That's kind of you, Miss Crane, but... Nancy, you just leave everything to me. Jenny! Don't put this big rock in my room! Oh, gracious! Oh, don't touch it, George! It's a fruitcake! Oh, I... I think I'd better go in there before he damages it. Colonel, we'll discuss this later. I should like to go somewhere and lie down. Welcome to Indianola in January, Colonel Archer. Miss Crane, I would like to know what this is all about. I've made a mortal enemy of your father through no fault of mine. Oh, Dad's bark is worse than his bite. Well, but there is still Alababa in the pageant, into which by some mysterious chance I've been thrust by your mother. Oh, you poor man, I'll tell you about it. You see, every year mother holds this pageant for charity. Oh, I see. Oh, you don't see it all yet. Each January she rounds up all the patient army mules. She commandeers any of the troopers who have not been able to escape into the desert and puts them in the pageant. And Alababa? Well, Alababa rides through the desert to the rescue of the beautiful slave girl singing his love song. Oh, and your mother has decided that I will make a good Alababa. Not good. Perfect. You and your camels arrived just at the right time. I and my camels refuse to be part of the pageant. I will not play Alababa and I will not sing. Colonel Archer, if you were a betting man, I'll give you odds that you will play Alababa and in a false beard and Arabian nightgown. I know mother. And I know myself. I'll give you odds, Miss Crane, that I will not play Alababa. You are listening to Joel McCray as Cyrus Archer and Lorraine Day as Nancy Crane in The Camels Are Coming. On the Cavalcade of America sponsored by the DuPont Company. Maker of better things for better living through chemistry. Colonel Cyrus Archer, late of Harvard, has been sent to Texas to conduct experiments with camels. But he has run into an Alababa pageant in which he has refused to play the part of Alababa. As the second part of our story opens, we find Colonel Archer engaged in an interesting advertisement. No, you're in love with a beautiful slave girl. You must sing like it. I'm sorry, Mrs. Crane, but I majored in zoology at Harvard. I have no ear for music. Sergeant Radigan. Yes, Miss Crane. Please remember where you and Elsie are to join the song. Now once more, gentlemen. Elsie, stop clutching at that poor beard. I've got to clutch it. It's full of sand fleas. Now take it easy, boys. It'll all be over tomorrow night. Now, see if we can start on the same note. One, two, three, one, sing. From the day that I walk to the company all night. You'll just have to leave us alone. The pageant is tomorrow night. Mother, Mrs. Phillips wants to know where to put the cardboard minarets. Oh, dear. I have to show her myself. Elsie, Radigan, come with me. You'll have to carry the minarets. Yes, Miss Crane. Oh, ain't this year a perfectly horrible way to spend a Saturday night? Salam alaykum, Alibaba. Alaykum. Salam, Elsie. I have come to collect a bet. I put up a good fight, but I lost. You're quite the handsomest Alibaba we've ever had. Thank you. By the way, why aren't you playing the beautiful slave girl? Oh, I sort of stage-manage things for mothers. Not Williams' girl who's playing the part now. She's a very nice girl. I don't doubt it, but when she talks, she moves her mouth in a kind of back-and-forth circular motion the way a camel chews. Si, you mustn't say things like that. I can't help it. I'm with camels all day and at night I'd like to forget them. But Colonel Archer, when you first came here, you thought of nothing but camels and zoology. Well, I'd like to confess that there are other aspects of zoology which intrigue me now, particularly when I'm with you. Why, Si, you sound almost romantic in a Harvard sort of way. Well, I don't care about Harvard right now, nor do I want to discuss camels or zoology. Si, are you going to kiss me or not? What? It's on your mind, isn't it? Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. Miss Crane, I think I will kiss you. Oh, no you won't. But Nancy, you just suggested it yourself. No, of course, and I have no objections if you take off that horrible false beard. Still, you long-legged double sway back critter. I'd sure give all my pay for about 11 fingers at the teal right now. Easy, boys. It'll all be over in a few moments. Every year we got to do this. Every year. Oh, there you are. Already? We're already, Mrs. Crane, is the beautiful slave girl ready to be rescued? Yes, Miss Williams is in the minaret. Last year she fell out of it before we could get to her. Never mind that now. Never mind. Remember, gentlemen, you're a quarter mile away from town, so you'll have to stay on the ridge where the moon will silhouette you. Well, if we don't get started soon, there won't be any moon. Very well then. Off you go, my thieves in Alibaba. Off you go into the Arabian night. Off we go into the dangest mess I ever saw. Well, let's go, boys. The rest of the camels will follow. Miss Williams, here comes your Alibaba. Come on, Alfie. Don't it seem to you like these critters is acting funny? Mine just tried to bite me. They are a little restless. Restless? I can't hardly hold mine in. It appears like you want to take off, Summers. Holy mackerel, what's wrong with this beast? See, look at the ones behind. They're acting funny too. Oh, my lord. Alfie, did you water these camels tonight? Why, sure. They had no water for me. I told you not to water them, you numbskull. I've been feeding these camels locoweed to see if it affected them. Locoweeds? Locoweed and water? We're going to get killed. I can't hold this year in back much longer. You've got to. Alfie, Radigan. See if you can get this through your thick skulls before it's too late. Isn't it too late already? Just shut up and listen. Hold tight. Don't head toward the town of these beastles. Stampede through the crowd. And don't head toward Miss Williams. I ain't but one place to head, and that's out in the desert. Then that's it. I'll take the lead. You follow. Keep your knees high. Hold tight. We're going right for the moon. Oh, Lordy. The first it was a pageant. Then don't ever do the rodeo. Alfie, Radigan. Look up ahead of us. Engines, come in. It's hundreds of them. Come to raid the town. We're heading right into them. Cousin of Barney. Cousin of Barney. Heading right through Engines. Oh, and with nothing but nightgowns and woodshored. I'm a getting off here. You can't. You pull the camels behind and stomp you to death. Rather be stomp than skelft. What a way to spend a Sunday night. Cousin of Barney. Hold tight, boys. This is it. Now what? Look at them engine turning tail and run away from us. The camels scared them to death. Now, if we could only stop. We'll be all right. As long as we don't catch up with those Indians. Cousin of Barney. The doctor assures me that you three heroes will be out of the hospital in no time. Major Crane, I'd like to explain. Yes, sir, Major. We've seen them there. Commanches are coming. And there were just only one thing for us to do. And you did it. Oh, yes. You three men. Alone. Unarmed. Saved Indianola from what might have been a massacre. That's very fine, Major. But may I explain that we have... We've seen our duty and we done it, Major. Just so. Now, I'll see you later. We're going to chase down those comanches. Good day. Major, come back here. If you two aren't the most disreputable characters I've ever seen, why'd you let him think we rode into those Indians on purpose? Well, Colonel, seeing as how we got bruised up, baddened up to get sent here to the hospital, we figured we might as well get some glory, too. Well, come on, Alfie. Oh, wait a minute. You're not supposed to get out of bed. Colonel, as long as we got an arm to push open that swinging door of Joe's, we sure can get out of bed. See you later, Colonel. Well, ma'am, we were just thinking that them that poor camel needs a drink. Come on, Alfie. I brought you some breakfast, sir. Thank you, Nancy. I suppose you know you're a hero. Nancy, your father was just in here, and he... He's going to recommend you for a medal. He is not. I'm going to clear this thing up right now. There was no heroism. There was nothing but three very scared men mounted on insane camels. But that glorious charge... Nancy, there was no glorious charge. Those camels were on a glorious drunk. And this morning, they're having a glorious hangover. What are you talking about? Nancy, I've been experimenting with Dramadarius tilapida. The experiments consisted of feeding them local weed to see what reaction we'd get. Last night, we got a very positive reaction. But that thrilling war cry. War cry? What war cry? Well, you ought to know you were shouting it right in the faces of those Comanches. It sounded wonderful out there in the desert. You mean Kazna Bonny? Yes. Why are you laughing? Well, because, my darling. The war cry you heard is an Arabic word. Kazna Bonny means, whoa. Just, whoa? Yeah. Stop. This is it. Pull up. Oh. Well, if that story ever gets back to Harvard, you'll be laughed out of the classroom. Yes, that's right, isn't it? Well, I'm sure it won't reach Harvard. You're the only one who knows, and you won't tell. And that story won't sound so well at the Board of Inquiry, will it? Nancy, I just wanted you to know the truth. Hang the Board of Inquiry. They'll never find out. Colonel, I was a witness last night. I shall be called before the Board to testify. And I'll have to tell the truth. I see. Suddenly, this room seems to be filled with a slight, but unmistakable odor of blackmail. Why, Colonel Archer? Nancy Crane, will you marry me so that you can't ever testify against me? Why, Colonel Archer? Well, I'm doing it for the honor of Harvard, the War Department, and Project Number 7906. And besides, I love you. Ah, sorry, darling. Come here. I want to kiss you. Colonel Archer. Cavanaugh Bonnie. Come on, let's get out of here. But, Si, can you make it? Make it. If those 40 thieves can make it to the bar, then Alabama can make it to the altar. Joel McCray will return to our cavalcade microphone in a moment. Now, here is Gain Whitman. The human race has known and used cloth for many centuries. But only since the coming of modern industrial chemistry have manufacturers been able to give it new qualities to any considerable degree. To make cloth, textile manufacturers line up threads in one direction, north and south, you might say, and weave in other threads from east to west. They can make threads thick or thin. They can use silk or cotton or wool. They can make different weaves and patterns. But down through the centuries, those have been about the only variations possible. What a difference with chemistry. The chemist has supplied new textile yarns, like rayon and nylon. And he's gone on from there. We can make fabric soft or crisp. Bleach it snow white or diet in thousands of hues. The DuPont company has also developed two compounds which make cloth shed water. Zeeland Durable Water Repelent Finish gives protection, even after many washings or cleanings. DuPont's Aridex Finish can be applied to almost any fabric by your laundry or dry cleaner. And with still another compound, chemistry can make cloth fire resistant so that it will char but not burst into flame. Cloth can be treated with various resins, piled up layer on layer, and with heat and pressure, made into a plastic material tougher than the toughest leather. Or a thinner sandwich can be made to produce a material that bends back and forth thousands of times without wearing out. Chemistry can give cloth a variety of chemical surfaces. It can be impregnated, that is pyroxilin squeezed into it, to make beautifully colored, long-lasting washable window shades and book bindings. Chemistry can coat fabric with synthetic resins for rain coats and sheeting. Or fabric can be coated with synthetic rubbers, like DuPont neoprene, to give resistance to heat and cold, oil and grease and perspiration. Necessary properties for fabric used for outdoor upholstery and theater seats. In other words, chemistry not only makes possible new fabrics through the development of synthetic fibers, but by coating and treating traditional fibers, provides fabrics which may be thought of as entirely new materials. Cloth, which mankind has used so long for warmth and comfort and protection, is improved in many ways by chemical compounds, developed by DuPont, maker of better things for better living through chemistry. And now, here is Joel McCrae. We've all seen pictures in the newspapers and magazines, pictures of kids who are cold this winter. Kids in Europe, China and the Philippines. They and their parents and their grandparents too are without shoes, without sweaters and coats. The experts are reaching some pretty terrifying conclusions about what will happen to these unfortunates, unless we do something to help them. The Victory clothing collection still has two weeks to run. How about us all looking in trunks and attics for the extra clothing that will keep people alive? And when you pack them for mailing, add a little note for international goodwill and friendship. You can find out where to send your clothes by calling your radio station or newspaper. Thank you. Next week, Cavalcade will bring you an unusual comedy of manners in an army college. Dana Andrews and Nancy Kelly will be your stars, for as rolliging a picture of army education as you're ever likely to see. So remember, next Monday night, it's Commencement in Kaki, starring Dana Andrews and Nancy Kelly on The Cavalcade of America. The music for tonight's DuPont Cavalcade was composed and conducted by Robert Armbruster. Our Cavalcade play was written by David Lisanne. Joel McCray will soon be seen in the Paramount Picture, The Virginian. With Mr. McCray and Miss Day in tonight's cast were Frances X. Bushman, Sarah Selby, Cora Witherspoon, Horace Murphy, Dink Trout, Fred Howard, and Jerry Hausner. This is Tom Collins inviting you to listen next week to Dana Andrews and Nancy Kelly in Commencement in Kaki on The Cavalcade of America, brought to you by the DuPont Company This is NBC, The National Broadcasting Company.