 Hey there friends how's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're playing think of the children Which is something I rarely do, but I guess today I will think of the children dying horribly No, okay, I'll might try and take care of them. I don't know. We'll see how I feel. Oh, there goes one come All right, settle down. We'll try and try and take care of them. All right Let's see our story. Don't even bother taunting me with the co-op screen You know, it's gonna be just me. Oh making me want to kill children already Wait, is this who I am or who I'm gonna be like protecting cuz this person could do with dying I think okay. This is me actually okay go get in there. Come on. We got to go buckle up now Oh fuck sake we got the other one up on this truck get down here Come here you little shit get in there There we go. He's all tied up. I mean Seat belted in the same thing really I set the tables ten the barbecue and set up the pinata should be easy Why do I have all these kids all of a sudden get in here that one can't swim? Oh come on. This is just natural selection trauma to traffic. Are they eating poisonous berries? Why are the barbecues on fire back off Phil get over there out of the road? I sit up a feckin pinata and there's burgers. Why are you trying to eat these poison berries great now? They're all drowning you deserve to die. Oh my god all of them are dying You know what? That's fine. We'll just have some burgers and forget about this whole ordeal Wait, no one eating poison berries died. Okay There was only one left standing and he died just after it ended. I guess that count is them dying Do we have anyone left? I thought he might have just been sleeping. Well, they all died I wasn't even trying to kill them that time. Okay, the barbecues kept going on fire So I'm gonna do the tables first and then I'm going to tend to the pinata and then I'm gonna do the barbecues There we go tables are done get out of the road. You know what fine feckins stay in the road There you go. That's what you get like I had to learn the hard way to back off Just feckin rugby tackled them as I walked by. All right, there we go. Everything's done. I tended the barbecues Why is it not ending? What the hell is attacking this thing? He was this close to getting raised by wolves and honestly, he would have been better offer Okay, I just feckin cannonballed on top of them as they died in the water I didn't know how to pick them up. No, no, no, no, no, okay good Phil is still alive. He was always my favorite anyway. If he lives then I should be golden That's a lot of damage now for a feck sake Phil. How are you supposed to do this? Can I lock him in a pen or something? Wait, what the hell was that Jesus Christ child protective services? No, you're not needed here. I'm doing great. Come here kid Stop trying to run to child protective services. Oh god. Someone's drowning. Okay. They're dead. No feck off feck off Stop talking to him. He doesn't know what he's doing kids will be kids. He's talking nonsense I love how you just pick them up and you eat them across the can I can manage three I think three is somewhat manageable, but when okay, I got there. I think I three actually lived but when there's six It's impossible. Honestly this calling may have been necessary. She might still be alive. She might be playing dead Yeah, that one's definitely dead surely. That's at least the C feck off. I need to get a C minus Please kids just go easy on me just this once okay, the pinata brings them all to there Which is fantastic kids on me. She dashes off immediately Okay, which is the first one going to danger fill of course the stupid one oh feck I have to make a choice Hannah It's like Sophie's choice except I don't love any of them, especially not Jasmine She's just drowning the pool like child protective service sees me throwing my kids around like this I don't know why they're not stepping in no no no no no no no no stop swinging Can you just stop having fun for five seconds? Okay? I think four lived like this park just seems like a hazard in general for kids Why did we take them here? You got open fires open pools as wild cats for some reason only one died though I thought I lost too. Okay, great. I'm a good parent. Wow. I got a nice to have I yay That's what I deserve you get home and your spouse is like wow only one died today You deserve a hat for that performance. Oh honey. You're so good to me wait No, why am I going to court? I shouldn't be in court. I got a hat I got rewarded for my behavior charged with a record breaking 438 charges of parental negligence Jasmine sank to the bottom of dangerously unfenced swimming pool liar. She floated Oh God, I might have just incriminated myself wait. No, don't respond guilty. God. I almost just clicked a I'm innocent Oh, we're reviewing another piece of evidence. Oh, okay So I need this is kind of like a flashback in the overarching story is the court case. That's interesting I'm very immersed now. No, don't take them to the sea. Oh my god that task list It's two pages. Okay first things first a place sunscreen to the strange man Wait, how did they die? They were literally just digging a hole. Okay, everyone is dying Look just sharks just take them raise my kids for me. You'll probably do a better job You too you fuck off into the ocean as well go on die. Yeah, I might have to restart I don't think I'm gonna win this round. Oh, yes, the wrong one for ice cream Oh my god, the guy's on fire. You see this is why it was important get away from my sandcastle You little shit. I spend a lot of time on that. It's my kid under there. Oh my god You got eaten by seagulls Okay, Jesus Christ. I almost died myself. That could have been a whole lot worse seagulls are taking another child How many times are we gonna do this before we take action? We got a poison one of the children so all the seagulls will die next time a seagull culling if you will Do you think the judge will be okay about this whole thing even though like four died? Like I did lotion up grandpa four times. Oh my god. They didn't even leave a bit of skin on the bones It's just skeletons after those seagulls. Oh my god. Which do I pick grandpa the kid? Oh my god, the seagulls are back at it again and I get away from those jellyfish right now. Oh god We got hit by a boat again Heck in hell. This is impossible. Oh Jesus. I don't know if I did enough I have four of them alive like is that good enough four out of six will that hold up in court? There's a shark just lingering near that kid. I think they'll probably go after the summer is over So I don't know if it's fair to say four survived, but I'll take it. I gotta see is that good enough? Please be good enough. I think it's good enough. Do I get a hat for this? I feel like I've earned it now. I get a referee costume. I mean the whistle's gotta help, right? I don't know why my person asked to review this piece of evidence and then just said I know you're mad at me for killing one But actually I killed two more. I am innocent now. I'm not an unreasonable judge Everyone has been injured at the beach at some point in their lives between jellyfish sharp rocks sand in the eyes and sunburn There's a lot that can go wrong but getting eaten by seagulls. I know how is that my fault? How are you supposed to prepare against that wait? No, don't put him on the stand He was on fire for a while, but look cramps if you say I'm innocent. I'll slather you up with lotion again Oh god more evidence. I don't think this is a good idea. You're digging the hole deeper. Okay, the shop that can't be too bad There's no open ocean in the shops. Everything seems safe so far. Oh my god. Hannah. Are you drinking bleach? Oh my god, there's a slippery floor. What the hell was that? What did you just explode? This one's locked in the feckin freezer This is so stressful. My embarrassment meter's off the chart Come on bleach cannot be that tasty. There's no way Not for feck sake. Do I have to pay for all these? Why is he running with a knife out? Throw him with it He didn't knife it his hand and I just fecked him down the aisle. Like I think that knife's actually stuck in him I lose why just because one drank bleach like three had already died. I don't think it mattered at that point All right, I'll do better this time. I didn't know where the things were What if I just grab stuff and I I don't try and save anyone I just grab everything as quick as I can and check out because like I'm bound to lose some Down the line. I may as well just get it over with quick and then they won't have a chance to kill themselves Okay, there we go. There's all my shopping there we go only one died I think that was the best yet and I just ignored him short two of knives sticking in their heads But I mean that's just a flesh wound that builds character. It's good to build up an immunity to these things when you're young It's like a vaccine you get stabbed a little and then when you get stabbed a lot your body's ready for God, I'm a good parent to a bee. Yay. That's good one dead and two in critical condition gets a bee That's a world. I want to live in and I got a wizard outfit. I deserve it. That was a magical performance See what I mean. They're utterly incapable of controlling their kids Yeah, but I was still in and out in like five minutes. Wait, where are you sending me now to a party really? I'm bringing the kids to a party. Oh, Christ almighty Okay, at this point I'm siding with the court This person is setting them up to die I'm gonna continue my strategy with just getting everything done as fast as possible. All great That one's getting inside the washing machine. Well, at least they'll be clean when they're dead. What is it with you kids in bleach? Why do you like it so much? Like honestly, I think it's too late to save them at that point They had so much bleach in their system. I don't think me stopping them now will save them. Okay. Yeah, they got inside There goes another one. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do. So this is troubling Off the couch muddy feet muddy feet. We are guests here in this house I gotta be at the party a good lord. I don't know how I'm managing this to be honest I think I'm just Recognized that I need to make sacrifices as a parent and those sacrifices just tend to be like 30% of my kids. I deserve that hat after saying that to be fair. I am a shithead man That was a good night. One of your children were drinking bleach. I stand by what I said Look, just send me to jail. Okay. I'm done. I don't want those kids. Anyway, send them away Oh my god, there's so many levels that I still need to do But I'm giving up. I that's as much interaction with children I can as I can take even if it is Virtual, but I hope you guys enjoyed watching me parent I hope you got a few lessons there and it will inspire you to have kids and maybe Taught you how to take care of them and you know the nuances of parenthood I know I enjoyed my experience, but I also never want to do it again No, this is actually a really fun game. I imagine in co-op it would be a lot more fun as well And a bit more manageable, but yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed I appreciate you watching as always and I hope to see you next time. Bye for now