 are two components to setting a boundary. So the first component is identifying what you need and then communicating that to the person. But the most important part of setting a boundary is maintaining the boundary. So just because you said it doesn't mean that it's going to be respected. And by the way, I should say this, a boundary is something that you set with yourself, not with another person. That's a big misconception about boundaries. You can't control what they're going to do, but you have a boundary with yourself. If this person does X that I've asked them not to do, then I know what I'm going to do. So it's a boundary you have with yourself. So it's very, you have so much agency with boundaries. People feel like, well, if they don't respect my boundary, then I'm helpless. No, because you know, you've set a boundary with yourself. So if you set a boundary with someone, so we just had this in the podcast, somebody was dating someone, the person lied to him, and his boundary was, you know, I don't tolerate lies. Well, the person lied again, and he tolerated the lie. And he's like, he doesn't respect my boundaries. Well, you know, this is, you don't respect your boundaries. That's the problem. You don't respect your boundaries. You are giving the message that, look, I don't want you to lie, but if you do, I'm going to tolerate it. That's the message. No matter what your words are, that's what that's the message in your behavior. So maintaining the boundary means that we had another person in the podcast, his boss would text him, you know, after hours. And he was like, I don't want to text with her all the time after hours about this, that and the other thing that could be taken care of at work. And I've told her not to text me with these questions that can wait till the next day. And she still does that. And so maintaining the boundary was he didn't respond to her text when he set the boundary. And then he didn't respond to her texts. And she kept texting, and he didn't respond. And then one day at work, she said, I wanted to text you about this thing last night, but I know you don't like that. So I didn't text you. So you see how maintenance is so important that you have to be consistent every single time. Always. And when we understand and we learn that somebody is easy to to push around due to weak boundaries, that's how they're seen. We can't help but lose respect for those people and treat them in a certain manner. Once that happens. And that's why it is so difficult for them to stand their ground, because it's going to be new. They're unsure of what's going to take place. However, my favorite thing is when our listeners write us our clients write let us know when they saw that need, they've identified it, they drew it, and then they stuck to it for the first time. And that liberating feeling that the whole world didn't explode, or their whole friend group didn't fall apart and betray them due to them sticking to their ground, their boundaries. And then the other part that I love about this, I said, and now the person, the person that you've set this boundary with when you stuck to it, you adhered to it and they were mad. They are going to do one of two things now. They are now going to see you as this person that they don't like because they can't get from you what they always could in the past, or they will have found a new view you with a new found respect. And that new found respect, you're going to have to give that a few days, maybe even a week for them to come around to what had just happened and who you are now. And give it that time. I call it emotional theater. Anytime anyone gets upset, it's our emotions are driving everything. You just have to sit back and watch it all take place. But they feel so empowered and that it's like they're looking for the next person that they could show their new found strength to. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. It's really interesting when someone feels like they can't tolerate the other person's upsetness with their boundary. So, you know, they set the boundary, they feel really good about it. And then the other person gets upset because of course you're changing the rules. It's almost like the person who can't accept the boundary is really regressed. They're really young at that point because it's like when you say to a young child, like, no, you can't have a second cookie. But they're like, but I always got a second cookie. You always gave me a second cookie, right? And it's like, no, now you can have one. It takes a little recalibration. Like they have to realize, wait a minute, there's a rule here and I need to respect it. And the people who cannot respect your boundaries, you know, that's information. So people are like, what if they don't respect my boundary? I'm like, that's fantastic. Because now you have information that's going to be really useful for you. Now you can make choices about what you want to do with that relationship. Before you were just being resentful and doing whatever they wanted you to do, right? And now you have this great information. Use it like a compass. Let it guide you.