 Welcome back folks. I am your host SK Gytonga. Do not forget to follow me on all social media platforms This is unfinished where we finish all unfinished parties today We're talking about marriage and dowry payment onto our next question Do you think dowry should be refunded if the couple breaks up? Let me know what you think in the comments section Why is it going to be refunded? Why the time we were together was it not worth it? I guess it was worth it and Who's going to refund it? My parents or me? I don't think so. It's not supposed to be refunded Do the time we were together it was worth it. It was worth the time So now come we are putting ways kinder kinder. I can refund happen. Mm-hmm. Yeah Because you used to my time that time. Yeah Yeah, we're gonna refund your time younger to make one of ever If if my time should be refunded then we'll refund your dowry because We spent time with you. It's like I wasted my time due to my part to my pathways It shouldn't Unless you need to do it at the same time you don't need to do it at the same time you don't need to do it at the same time It depends the answer to a Because it depends If they separate I think What needs to be done is that the two families come together. It's not the man Refund the lady really refunding but the two families they laid down they laid down some Agreement on the mode of payment how they're going to repay it when Yeah, at times the marriage will be so it will be Too bad to like you can't really in my ribca-cabissa. You can't really You can't really mend it. So The two families can come together Sit down I'll lay down the foundation for the payment. Yeah, I think it should be repaid Especially so that it's just totally the link the two people. There are circumstances that dowry would be refunded And these who are basically not traditions who are basically due to adultery All others but how do you prove adulter the threshold of proving adulter was so hot So it was so hard to get even those marriage breakages but nowadays Marriages break up because so-and-so refused to serve breakfast so I don't subscribe to returning dowry because If you gave out, okay, you know, let me say you married me to make another four years or five years You know, this is my time invested in you. You appreciated my parents. Okay? I'm to gift at a come on what a cousin I am to next time You are like I would have bludged like I'm gonna show you to give that thing willingly sit. I look for scope And so I'm gonna see will end the dowry negotiation. I can negotiate with someone. It's like a 300,000 Okay, so I'm gonna show you to compare so I'm going to do it a chance and you'll it out willingly So maybe come okay, maybe okay. No I'll have what you expect to be sure that that's I know I'm gonna put you on call. You open such a spence on the couple in our places Once you get married that is you pay in terms of cows go to ships like I've said before you don't pay all of them Let's say that maybe if the if the family wants to pay if the family wants around maybe 15 cows We pay half Then the other half is comfortably paid. Let's say 30 years later So the other half now in acts like a collateral Later that I've had an issue with you then my wife goes back to their home I'll be fine now from there the remaining cows later. I was supposed to pay 15. I've paid eight now They'll add up to be nine so for me. I don't think you should be it should be refunded Yeah, for me it can be refunded where I come from unless otherwise unless otherwise that one you have had very very many Many triangles and stuff but in very rare cases can it be refunded how even some places the ones who made it in terms of money I think they have they have sticks to say give us our man. Yeah, but however if they were cows or stuff and stuff Don't have any stick. Yeah. I know No, because I think Dowery nearly I think Pia was as warm shana shukrani. Yeah, thank you. It's appreciation by the way So come I'm appreciation. It's not be refunded I don't come to Kosa and to break up a bucket was as because we look like I know I'm too We'll come on what happened. I'm Kachana. It's not be refunded. I know country fund our You can't just simply can't I always it I was I was I don't have a reason but My belief is you should it shouldn't really find our Yeah, it may lead it may lead to It may lead that's like breaking a taboo Shouldn't be refunded because what's done is done I can give an example Like when you buy something You've already paid the money. So once you're done with it or it's broken. You cannot take it back It's yours. You already bought it. So I'm not saying that the man is buying the woman but What is given is given. I don't think it should be refunded Yeah, what's done is done So They are gonna long as in a queen on the home say so So soon say I fuck Rudishi Wadozaki. They were really cool as in you know fuck on refunded. Yeah No, I don't think it should be refunded Because from my own point of view Ah You you you shared something but then later you you have separated I Don't think it should be refunded. It's very funded. You sasa Omelipa hija work, then what next? So see who did you show if they separate it would issue here Personally, I don't think dowry should be refunded because it is a token of appreciation Once it gives someone a gift, I do not expect you to ask for it back However, in some African countries, it is considered appropriate for you to take back the dowry because for as long as you don't You still belong to that person And also if you decide to make matters legal then that depends on what the court decides onto our next question Do you think paying dowry has a negative effect, especially on women? Let me know what you think Paying dowry has no negative consequences It is just an act of appreciation. I go back. Where is your call if you lose your call? then You have no basis That's when you'll always say that They paid our they paid 13 cattle. They paid one hand. They paid what and what they bought me So that commercializes it or essentializes the commercialization where you think if they pay 10 million for me So I'm better off even with a hundred million. You are still an object Somehow it has brought some negative issues. You may be most of the women feel like they're now So entitled to the wife You know pattern me I'm trying to pay you you paid you I paid for the dowry So I'm your husband you have to respect me and do this and do this and do this So like somehow pay or me take advantage of it because I paid a lot of cows a lot of money Maybe I give my car to your parent at your society. You'll have to respect me You'll have to do all this shit and you'll have to Is of it to sort it somehow or to am I take advantage of it and maybe to some To some place maybe society tafika. Maybe the lady will feel like there is no need to pay the dowry because Maybe you talk about So entitled to me. So it's a that you pay maybe direct dog. I'm a silly pen You're maybe to cans a coconut and I never see bad pay the dowry, but man, I guess should Should not act that entitled. It's an African thing. You have to pay the dowry You don't have to be entitled to entitled to your wife. Yeah I I don't think there is any consequence because you know as I said earlier that you are appreciating my family for investing me and at least they brought for you like you know someone you saw me know that if you see something good in me it means you appreciate it so I don't think I'm going to get the consequence very traditionally or traditionally is a form of appreciation yeah it's appreciated the family so it should be something that's that say that I'm buying you it should be really that way it should be viewed as a form of payment really but also form of appreciation so it I don't think it has negative consequences because for example my father did pay Dari and as never I've never seen any negative effects on how he treats my mother in fact he treats her with respect so I don't I don't really think it has negative effects on the woman it doesn't have by one or the other now try to fit yourself in in such a show you're getting married and your parents don't demand for anything from your from your husband's side it simply means that at least you're not being valued so for me I can say it gives that lady at least I'm being valued try to assume yourself you're getting married then your parents just say let's assume maybe the request for cows they say give us one how will you feel yourself so I can say it doesn't have a negative consequence in fact it's uh it's like a bonus because try to imagine yourself getting married then your mom just mom or dad say for you for for for you to get married to you to you better have the only only request for one cow how will you feel yourself so for me feel it's like a positive thing it can't be negative thing negative consequences no no no no no it's a negative consequence is because I'm not a mom I'm not true I'm not true enough you're time you're telling me my mother so like I said I'm not sure I'm not a money queen yeah I'm a negative consequence is true no no hey I'm not a money queen I must appreciate her evil no okay the pain of dowry doesn't affect a woman in any way because it's it's dowry is like dowry is bedwell there so it doesn't affect a woman in any way because it's it's for your foreign culture the only thing that dowry cannot cannot tie a woman to someone if they don't even when she doesn't love love the man so when it reaches them for divorce it's okay so it doesn't affect the woman I don't think it has a negative effect I think it's tradition it's been there for a long time so people have been doing it but you know the world is evolving and so are people so whether they pay or not it doesn't have a negative effect oh no you mean yeah true because I'm a demon you know but you're just as easy kind of complications but you only live for dowry I was here at home so you know be the above me liye in a lead to death so I'm not casque easy kind of best violence no one can talk I think it has some negative effects because to me I think paying dowry is like purchasing the lady it's like you're purchasing a commodity you bring a commodity to your house so yes because nowadays when someone pays dowry in a little less sense your ownership in my opinion I feel like in some cases it it does have a negative effect when the man does pay the bride price because men tend to look at their wives like possessions that they own and we also have parents that look at their kids as investments which leads to forced marriages you might get your parents just pairing you up with a random person just because they are going to earn from it we have come to the end of the show I am your host eski see you then