 Oh Made a lava lamp out of the stillborns that she was collecting looks actually like awesome. Are we live Matt? Yeah Whoa man calm down. What's with your energy right now? He's got like fucking horny energy sitting on a toilet Sky episode number 15 to the muddy Michael fully actual podcast and we are live from Michael's basement is episode 15 All right, we're nearly halfway through that is halfway. That is not halfway We're pretty much done now 20 would be half pretty much done same thing And just to keep you fucking dogs in the loop. We are going for a world We're going to where in the process of speaking to Guinness World Records And we're gonna try right and have some sort of fucking podcast record and where we fucking Go fucking for 40 hours or some shit. We're gonna get something about 40 or 50 Yeah, so that's coming and plus hopefully we'll do some sort of live podcast eventually as well What made you mention this? I just came to my brain like that What's the longest you've ever stayed awake brown because let me tell you meth will help If you want to break some records I don't know like 20 to be like close to 24 That's so shit. Yeah. Well, I'm not is that's like a really a kid who's like six does that I did that at six Yeah, but I Dude, I reckon if we get people on meth matt can do it for like seven days straight. Yeah, I get it You want me to take math? Yeah Meth you brown I set michael's room on fire. It's hot in here, isn't it? It got out of hand. We're doing this fucking Fucking prank compilation thing called where we have to try and make each other run And so what I did was I started a fire on michael's bed You know, I like this is allowed out if we get pretty quick house not like here. Yeah, I um Yeah, it got out of hand very quickly and that's good to do with the new house You're gonna burn the fuck because you have designated one burnt room. We don't even know if we're allowed to post it yet We're gonna you guys might not even be able to see it. It might just be on the website because it's it was quite dangerous But anyway, sorry about that. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's okay. Like I guess Whatever, of course, it's okay, baby. It's not. Yeah, it definitely would have been preferred if we had It's dangerous the kids. Yeah, the whole Actually full of smoke and all the fire alarms. No, don't if we didn't have that fire extinguisher Who god knows what could have happened, but you're never gonna learn if you don't know I've always thought how the fuck do people who start fires like his arsons start fires get caught Yeah, you go to the bushy lot of fire. No one like must be the footprints. I reckon. Yeah, that must leave behind a A trail of footprints fingernails Hand follicles. Yeah, okay. Well, you think you'd get burnt spit shit piss sweat Oh, yeah, I just make you sweat cctv. Yeah, they got cameras all through the woods. Yeah and phones Whistle blowers you got whistle blowers Okay, all sorts of different areas man, so Anyway, that's our shit talk Already No, we got news matt. Oh man, but we have fucking news for you. We are playing tocker Oh, no, we'll get into that later. Anyway, so you got me sick Yeah, you got a fucking day. Yeah, I had three days. I worked through it a real bad cough I was coughing up phlegm still. Yeah. Yeah, I've gotten a lot of people sick and I don't give a shit I've been going out and about I don't mind I don't mind doing that. Yeah Actually, there's so many sick people at the moment. I'm kind of questioning if it even was you Yeah, exactly. Yeah, fucking out. Everyone's fucking fucking can't so I'm sorry about that What did I just do? What did that? What does that do? That puts the sound off. Okay. Anyway, can we get to hear that? What? Yeah, I think that'll go through. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'll go through. Anyway, uh, sponsors everyone This podcast right this this very podcast here is sponsored by the internationally renowned company manscaped manscaped.com. All right, if you are a man and you're a hairy fuck or two You need to groom yourself. You smell like shit your teeth are all crooked No one even fucking finds you attractive at all go to manscaped.com. Right Have a look through all the products there use our discount code Fully actual 20 for 20% off And fucking go nuts because fuck you Just do it. The body wash is the best man There's all sorts of shit out there man. The shavers are amazing. So putting that shit on me, Matt Listen to it. Matt. Can you hear that? That's real It's got a little light on it so you can see where you're going you can shave at night in in the in your bathroom Yeah, you got ball wipes so you can get sucked off anywhere anytime zero complaints That's right So manscaped.com fully actual 20 for the for the discount code go and have a look because they're fucking good And of course the other sponsor is the University of Michael our subscription website where we post weekly videos like 30 to 40 minutes Of extended videos that we post to social media, but more importantly Videos that we can't post to social media Fucked up science experiments where we get seriously injured And do some crazy arse shit. All right, it's fucking nuts plus you can get to know us in the fucking Facebook group. We've got a website coming of fucking It's really existing one. Look, there's a lot of good shit. There's over 200 videos Plus you don't have to like pay straight away You can go and have a look to see if you like the videos and deem them worthy of staying and paying You have 21 days to do that So if you don't like them if you don't believe what we're saying and saying it's worth the money Go and have a look for yourself And and if you don't like it then leave it's fine free of charge. There is no risk to you There's no it's too free. Yeah, you can sign up for free matt brown You haven't anyway So it's been like so many years man. It's been nearly three years. This is our fourth year of podcast. Yeah, wow But three years you've never signed up It's about three years since we started the website and and there's shit on there that will make you fucking buckle You would love it, dude. You're in it. You should smoke weed. You're in it. Have you even seen the videos that you're in? No Oh, dude, you you probably wouldn't be happy. No, it was Julian made it Julian made it very very inappropriate No, you were you were like a dominatrix naked very rotting and we got to give you a lap dance Oh, yeah, I haven't I have watched that actually Do you have a um cloth? Oh for that Yeah, yuck. Is that spit? No, that's matt brown Fuck you yuck. That's your Oh, that looks bad I don't know what's just happened That wasn't my fault. It's on camera. You can look at review the footage matt. I've done nothing wrong Nothing done nothing wrong and this has happened Oh my god, have you done that it fell off and then second bit happened Oh, I kind of like a lot of this though That's so shit We'll be right back Sorry about that. Anyway, those are our sponsors moving right along Oh, we just had hard technical. That was like two hours for an hour. I reckon we've been around We were there were moments of us screaming at each other and crying Michael was crying. Yeah, like yeah, there was blood on this day On this day Time for on this day Sorry, we got another um lying to locky segment coming this this week because it was fucking good last week And and we've already got a successful lie amidst our friends, which you'll find out about as well Oh, anyway to me. I don't know what you're talking about. That's fucking clear already What the fuck are you talking about? On this day In 1999 Jason statham pissed in a plastic bag and slung it at a brick wall It exploded and pissed showered down on the sleeping children below The children sat up in shock to see Jason pointing and laughing. He had ruined nap time Jason was then fired from the daycare center. He worked at Who is he? It's either and that's what is afl. That's what made him go into movies. He's that bald dude He's a transporter. He's always been like an english gangster. He's always he's also in fast and furious. Oh matt Fucking hell god. Come on. Hey, we're on the topic. Did you see the new trailer for mission impossible? I saw that there's a top gun too. Yeah I'm sure you'll be watching those won't you matthew. Yeah more apparently top gun too I saw is like the highest rating on rotten tomatoes out of all it's like 98 percent or something Apparently, it's really good. I don't fucking know. Isn't it tom cruising a plane? You would not want to you wouldn't watch that It's action. You already know what's gonna happen. I'm not sure. She starts I'm not sure if he actually flew the jets, but he's definitely in them like they filmed them in proper Jets he cruised in him. Yeah. Yeah, tom cruise control. He's actually watch he actually watches I've seen him comment on our ship before. Hey, tom. He gone tommy. How are you mate? We're getting clear with science. Yeah 110 percent mate. We'll give you a buzz on wednesday afternoon Oh, yeah emailed your assistant. All right Now it is time For the most emotional disgusting Fucked segment out of all segments of all podcasts ever made Right now we have matt's black book which is filled littered with stories of how he has Hav'd women after women throughout his entire life. These are matt brown's fuck stories Do you understand? In great detail And just a little recap if you knew this week The pro last week as we remember matt brown had to show the rest of the inmates in jail that he was an alpha And he attacked another inmate and now he's getting um, he was overwhelmed by the security guards So now we open to page number 52 it's like a story Matt already knows what happens obviously because this is his diary. He's alone. All right. This is what matt brown was before he found god Number 52 I was forcefully thrown into solitary confinement. My body slapped onto the cold hard ground You can stay here until your trial starts in six days. You freak The door slammed shut behind me and I heard the guards chatting as they walked off I can't believe he just bit that guy's dick. Oh, yeah, and the vomiting was terrifying. What a fucking freak I slumped against the wall and inspected my surroundings It was a dark cold room one bed and one toilet no windows That's it I lay on my heart bed. I had done what I wanted to do. No one would mess with me now I was satisfied and more importantly I was safe Time for a celebration I slid my slippery arm down my jungle of hard wiry pubes and my hands started devouring my soft squishy little brown I wiggled and shook my balls and they sprung to life I pulled my pants off and grabbed the back of my knees and pulled my legs in towards my body I extend my neck like a fully grown turtle and start sucking my brown cock I slurped and salivated until I minced in the corner of my room I used my shirt to mop my mince up Regretted it when I realized that that would be my only shirt for the week Days turn to nights and nights turn to days The only time I ever saw a human was when the guards would slide me meals through the gap in my cell It got to day five and I was struggling My bead was thick and I was covered in dried Crusted mints and smelled like vomit and shit and piss and sweat and spit can I was weak I had not had anything for five days now all creatures from my planet quelch are meant to have Every two days or we can die Not even self molestation will do it has to be a proper have I had tossed myself endlessly, but it did not matter. I had to have I'd even tried having a few stray insects. I found in my cell I'd stuffed a moth up my cock hole and smeared my dick on a few stray ants that ran through my cell But still it wasn't enough lying on the cold cell floor. I started losing hope The mints in my ball bag had solidified into two firm balls of mints So even if I did manage to have someone I would have to ejaculate ejaculate with such force That these massive hard mince balls would get squeezed out of my small little cockmouth Which could also be fatal I lay there and felt my heartbeat start to slow My body was close to shutting down for my lack of having my little brown was writhing around in pain making scary little sounds I closed my eyes. This was it. I started losing consciousness Then I felt a soft pressure on my ass room Then I felt my asshole lips expand and wrap around something as it entered me I started coming back to reality as I feel this foreign object work its way up my ass towards my guts My eyes shoot open and I look down my body I feel the thing in my ass retract suddenly and then I see it there rock hard swaying gently was my own little brown It was seemingly staring at me. I didn't understand It looked as though my little brown was the thing that was just burrowing into my bloated sweaty ass Almost like it had a totally independent mind of its own My little brown then winked at me turned and stretched back under me and slid into my ass again I was two weeks at stop it Stand down little brown Stand down little brown I kept yelling but my little brown continued to ignore me Burrowing swelling and slithering further up my ass Then I noticed a small amount of my strength was returning. I was starting to feel better I was able to lift my arms now and I started pulling on my little brown Trying to rip him out of my ass. My little brown started moving in and out slowly fucking my own sticky asshole With stringy strands stretching from the inside of my ass and sticking to my little brown More of my strength returned and I was able to sit up I was madly tugging at my little brown as it unconsensually fucked me and then I realized something My strength was returning because I was having Somehow having myself counts as a have This was going to be tough though. I needed to have the most explosive Mincing I'd ever had in my entire life in order to flush these hard solid minceballs from my testicles Five days without having have solidified my mince So if I didn't ejaculate powerfully enough the minceballs would stay stuck in my ball bag And I would die. So if I had any chance of surviving I was really going to have to fuck myself good and absolutely go for it Fuck it. I thought let's do this I started feeding my little brown into my ass. I grabbed one of my tits and tugged it up towards my mouth And started tonguing at my nipples And yeah, that felt good. I choked myself with one hand and with my other hand I started slapping my ass cheeks all the while my brave little brown continued to fucking pump away at my ever relaxing asshole Cream squelched out from around my rim as my cock got harder and harder More strength had returned and I stood up my hips swirled around Trying to find the best angle to allow for my little brown to fuck as deeply as possible I bit my bottom lip as my little brown started hammering away my g-spot I pressed my ass against the cell wall and started pulsing all the while my little brown Overwhelmed my g-spot. It felt so good. The thick drool had started flowing from my meaty lips I pinched and tugged at my nipples and that's when things escalated. I clawed in my body leaving deep bloody gaches I was now banging my cock filled ass against the cell wall while I violently ripped and jerked at my nipples I vomited thrush and I was screaming My little brown fucked me hard and drove into my g-spot over and over again Then finally started I began mincing. I pulled my little brown out of my ass and held on tight The two hard minceballs in my testicles started their way up through my body They were moving very slowly and ripping apart my insides The pain was searing hot as the two solid minceballs reached my cock shaft I push harder and harder if the minceballs get stuck stuck now i'm dead My two huge minceballs worked their way down my dick. I dropped on my knees The pain was like nothing I had felt before I was screaming and crying all at once and blood gushed from my cock mouth I grabbed my shaft with my hands and tried to help squeeze the balls out. I was nearly done mincing desperate I jammed a thumb on my ass and screamed at the walls Then finally the two massive solid balls tore their way out of my dick hole and dropped to the ground with a thud A river of fresh liquid mince followed and I sprayed every surface of that cell I fell to the ground still in a huge amount of pain blood gushed from my cock and ass But my balls were full of fresh soupy mince and I'd finally had to have Myself I would live to see another day. It was a miracle Oh my god Fuck Holy shit, at least you know like it's like a perk like a vampire that you can't die now for like eat other people You will is like humans need to worry about starving to death or starving of dehydration You know that you will never have to worry about dying from having because you can just fuck yourself You can live forever now Holy shit, that would have been an experience. That would hurt. Look how glazed I am now. Oh wow Holy shit, you're fully wet That was hard, man. Oh my god. That was a long journey. It takes a piece of my life every time It is dark I don't feel right for the next three days Maybe that's why you got such hard dreams I've dreams about it Yeah, it's it's definitely like it's not on by a vibration. It's not on low vibration shit I don't want to hear that shit brown when we When we get it man, that's fucked That should be in a fire Yeah Why would you save such a book? Why would you do that? Well, maybe why do you know help? Holy shit, I'll get some bible. It's time for michael's bible and michael's bible is a book dedicated to his beliefs And values and you will do well to sit down and listen to it. He's changed the lives of many people michael is Beezus michael Okay, michael flip your headphones Flip him. Yeah flip him upside down Yeah turn him around Every time Shit, is that better? Yeah, you've almost a thrush man. I'll open my book up. How does that even happen? You vomited thrush stupid stupid chord thrush of the uh, I can't even picture it. What are you doing? Move the core behind you Matt brown just yelled at you. Yeah, that would hurt dude. Here we go Cans can change shape and they are metal Can can bend metal and metal is meant to be strong I think it's called aluminium or something like that It is Sorry If you've seen the movie the sandalot kids you are automatically cool to me and I respect you more than if you haven't Get used to the idea of having some form of alien disclosure in your lifetime Here's to hoping that it's used to your benefit Sorry Majority don't see the storm coming. Say sorry. Sorry Storms can be fun, but I go swimming in stormwater drains, but that fucking track back back that track back track That was sorry or nothing. Sorry man. You that there is brain damage There is brain damage amongst us three because that was beautiful to me Dude, I love the sandalot kids It is it's a known fact if you have seen the sandalot kids, you're a bit better than if you haven't Is that or is that like the titanic? Is that actually it has the same no way 100% away sandalot kids is a true story like titanic It is they and they've made a second one No way only the first one's a true story there. Sorry about that. Fucking hell. All right So there you go. I hope you have taken something away from michael's bible Um, because you know it is it might sound like rambling nonsense from an autistic guy who's had far too many Bongs before he wrote it, but it's actually There's some paths to moral value there It's sort of like Mozart. Yeah, if you think about Mozart, it's exactly the same thing and shakes me a bit All right time for our next segment and this segment He's right behind you He's right behind you He's right behind you turn around the other way And this is a segment where michael and i have taken it upon ourselves to help our dear friend Matthew Brown out to help him find a partner We single-handedly go out and find someone and we call them and we set up a phone date with them live Matt has never met this person and we will pick top three people that he Connected with the most and fly them in at the end of the season and matt will end the season with a partner It has been written in the stars You'll marry one and no three of them will live with you for two months No And i don't know if i want to do this it's a show and this one's in your sort of demographic She's young. She's i'm pretty sure she doesn't sound like she's a mom She's like no, i don't believe anything you're saying because i already know you've lied to me somewhere and i'm in trouble and i'm last two bachelor brown dates Look, we have deceived you. Okay. I will. Yeah. Yeah last year we were deceptive and have you deceived me on this one No, my brown this one is legit. Yeah This one is legit. All right. Now i want you to her name is rachel Okay, what what do you what are you picturing in your mind right now? I don't know Let's see how close you are in high school. Let's see how close you are With your judgment over her For when you talk to her. I don't know if I want to come on. What do you think she looks like? Let's hear it I don't care. What's your what do you hope? What do you hope she looks like come on? You got to open up to us if you want to move forwards. I don't know a bit of self-development here Just what what what do you say the girls know what you're after? What are you picturing in a wife here? What are your values No, you got like probably what five values What do you what do you value in it in all in all in all I don't know right now? I can only think that they're gonna need a strong sense of humor today at me. Okay, and And I'm guessing if they're calling into this They must have that so exactly you're saying that I'm thinking the one I'm thinking all the girls must have good sense of humor if they're willing to come on this All right. Well, that's what about physically what do you have a java hair color type? Do you have like I don't I don't really I've never really thought Oh my god, oh my god I spoke to her today. I guess I won't ask that question. Michael's already had a date with her Yeah, I had to sort of interview them to see if this Michael's having anyway, let's chat about my type after Let's call her before she falls. Okay. Now. Now don't don't fucking freeze up here. Let's try and have a fucking I'm already nervous. All right. I don't like do some fucking backflips or shit. Yeah, try and impress her a little bit I can only do half. Here we go Here we go. Here we go Hello. Hello, Rach. Is it Rachel? Yeah Wow, you know Rachel you are on the Marty and Michael Fully actual podcast one of the the best podcasts in the world. All right, it is before we before we go ahead This is one of the best podcasts in the entire world. It's the best. The best the best Matt loves you Rachel. Matt's in love with you now We have Matt Brown sitting next to us and he is just he's been shaking And he's been doing his face squishing it up like a rat He's crying like a hungry rat and his hands are all shaking and sweats Dripping off of his fucking head because he's so nervous. Are you actually making me nervous? Yeah. Yeah, so Rachel I'm going to throw it over to you and you guys just get to know each other pretend no one's here This is just so you guys can see if you have a connection basically Yeah, okay. All right. So all right. So off you go Matt start fucking talking. Here we go Quiet Matt Brown Hey, Rachel Hi, how are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm okay. What's going on? I don't know just doing a podcast with these two and they're freaking me out. Tell her how you feel Try and feel it up. Tell her how you feel. I can't feel it. Come on Matt It's happening again. Ah touch her boobs. Rachel, where are you from? You could be neighbors find out where she lives exactly She's not going to tell me where she lives No, what's suburb do you live in? Yeah, that's good Matt In green That's 20 minutes. That's like 15 minutes from Matt. I actually lived in green slopes once you could fucking dig a tunnel from your place to hers right near the mall With your little fucking wombat hands anyway So Rachel, what made you come on here? Uh, well my uh, one of my good friends Taylor's a very big fan of the podcast and she was like Would you would you mind and I was like, oh go for it. Why not? Oh god. Hey, michael, this is my date. Um Um, so have you ever watched this podcast before? Matt brown Yes, yeah So, you know what you're in for I know exactly what I'm in for. Yeah, would you say that you could you probably love matt sort of You could you see a future There's a potential there. Yeah. Have you heard his black book entries? No, I don't say anything about it All right, we shouldn't bring that up. I'm gonna ruin it. Sorry. Um She can't love me. She hasn't even met me before. Take your shirt off. I can't take your pants off. Stop So, um So, what do you like? What do you do for work? What do you like to do? Oh Let us speak Well, right now I'm actually uni. I'm studying psychology Oh Psychology's brand after this podcast. I don't need one you need one before what do you like to do in your spare time for fun? I usually usually just kind of stay at home or I'll play blart basketball You love that matt love tell her about table tennis say she has to love that So does that mean you're quite tall because you play basketball? Yeah, how tall are you? I'm six foot two But you can grow you grow too if you extend yourself He's a very malleable body type. I've seen it. Oh, that's good. Yeah, because I'm five eleven. So That's so I can't kiss the microphone. I don't even know what she looks like. I'm not kissing the microphone Rachel, do you mind if matt leans in and gently kisses the microphone? Go for it. Why not? All right, go on matt. Do you make it sound back Rachel? Both of you Come on three two one You kiss Rachel. You gotta shout a little kissy. That's so cute. This is the furthest he's been so far, Rachel This is the you are probably you've taken number one spot You will be probably moving in at the end of the year. Rachel if you do make the top three Would you be open to us? Um All expenses paid trip to uh to stay with matt Hang on for the finale. Not like not like overnight unless you want to but all you know You'll you'll you can come and meet him in person and we'll we'll give you a gift Oh, yeah, why not? I mean We just this is okay. This is good. This is this is big. This is big news now, right? This is it's so important to us that you continue this connection. Rachel. Don't be pressured into this. Honestly You don't have to Yeah, Rachel don't feel any pressure In their podcast you probably need some slack services anyway, exactly And you'll be feeling plenty of pressure when you're around matt brown at night. Yeah, even if this doesn't work out I feel like yeah, I need a psychologist Now, Rachel do you have instagram? I do Okay, would you please do us? All of the audience in this entire audience of this podcast do us all a favor and message Matt brown one one one one four ones On instagram and just like you don't have to look we don't we don't expect you guys to get married or to go on a date Right, but we would really love to exhaust you guys as an option You might be so much you could be related and you therefore You guys could get married one day is basically what i'm trying to say and it'd be great to rule you out because matt Does not know what he's doing. He's all alone 40 years old. You made me sound like I have no idea how to date a woman like nothing going on So rachel, can you please do us a favor and do that for us? For sure. Why not? Thank you so much. All right matt and will you keep up your end of the bargain and chat to rachel And open up a little bit. Okay, let your bloody brown walls down a little bit and let some of your mints flow out emotionally Yeah Oh, yes. All right beautiful. Thank you so much for your time rachel. You've been absolutely lovely And we hope it all works out with you in the brown town, baby That sounds good. Thank you. Thank you rachel. Bye. Bye. See you later rachel Number one she's taken number one position. She lives in brisman. She wants to meet up She's down like with the tunnel system last time you had a fucking date with a brismanite You went on a date with her. I think you should do the same with rachel Holy shit. We just found I reckon she's number one hundred percent, right? It doesn't get any easier every time Very good. That was the best you've done I was mentally preparing it's taken 15 episodes But you finally managed to string a fucking sentence together and look you got a kiss out of it I didn't kiss shit That was a virtual kiss. It was a metaverse It killed with the times, baby. It's 2022. Yeah, you're talking to someone on the phone. You kiss the microphone. You're talking to them You just hooked up. You hooked up. I didn't kiss anyone Same as if you kiss someone with a mask on while you're wearing a mask. It's a kiss as well This is exactly the same. No these days I reckon that's the one she's moving in. She's top 300% so far number one. Hey, let's try this for a second. All right Rachel brown. Yeah, exactly. It's nice. It's sort of like red brown. Look. He's already thinking about Thank you. That was fucking great everyone. And do you know what it's time for and I'm fucking fangin for a day And We're back. So what are we doing? All right next segment Lying to Lockie. This is a segment where we call our friend Lockie And we just tell him a lie and see if we can make him believe us. Okay I've sent him a text Earlier today and I said, did you get that email from facebook? So the lie that we're going to try and trick him with today is I'm going to call him and be like, yeah apparently facebook Is is phasing out getting paid Monetization is phasing out monetization, which would be So shit For everyone for every content creator. So um, let's see if we can convince him with that lie and earlier today matt brown Got a little glide to me. We lied to matt brown. Rack is not coming to toca and we're not doing toca Toca is not on tomorrow night. Did you text your work and get out of it? Fucking hell. That is so good Matt, listen to this matt brown had dinner plans. No, not just dinner plans. Do you want to hear what I had? So Oh, this is so shit. So I like all right, so fuck so So there's different like offices for my where I work around Australia and all of them are coming together to have a meeting in brisbane And then they want to before because everyone's going to be in brisbane. They want to have a dinner With all of them. So everyone can meet each other. They get to know each other big networking event It'd be like a big work event and they're like the and my boss was like, hey, I really I know it's last minute We really need you to be there. This was today. It's tomorrow night and I said yes Oh, wow, and they're like and I'm like, oh well Yeah, of course, I'll be there. It's not a problem. There's nothing on and I committed And then you guys tell me that oh, we're gonna play toca tomorrow night. James is gonna be there rack is gonna come Oh, I think locky's gonna said he would and then now I so what did I do? I am mixing to get on the front foot because I'm I try to be organized I call my boss. I said, oh, I'm really sorry I lied and I said, oh, I haven't I had an organized thing with my friends that I completely forgot about when I said yes Right And now we now gotta call her back Oh, I won't call her back tomorrow. I'll roll up and I'll have to be like, hey, remember that thing I told you I had That's really important. Yeah, it got cancelled So we lied to matt and he cancelled these important work plans and it turns out as a lie So he didn't need to cancel anyway. That's what I really wanted to play. That's what this segment is all about All right, let me call locky here. Here we go. Nothing is nothing is sacred anymore There's no like who cares. You don't have to go talk to work people This is gonna blow this is gonna backfire one day. You're gonna be like You're gonna call me with something serious. I'm over that fucking lying. Yeah, but like eventually you'll see like, you know So you just just to be safe. Just believe us every time You're gonna be like you're gonna now we got you out. I reckon don't call them back and sign back up Just fuck that off. You can go home. Have an early month. Go play red dead redemption I'd love to do like you could just do that and I'd wait Yeah, maybe I just sort of meet you stay if I still work there. That's not a bad idea No, we helped you see we got you out of work. Give us money All right, here we go calling locking here we go Hey, dude, what's going on? Oh fuck sake. Sorry, dude. My phone's never on fucking Yeah, yeah, good. Um, yeah, dude, uh Fucking did you have you checked your emails in the last couple of years? But I don't really get emails from Facebook. Yeah, well, I think this I think that you'll get it eventually They're sending it out to all content creators apparently they're phasing out monetization What? Yeah for fucking ad breaks on Facebook What the fuck's that we got a replacement right? I don't know that didn't mention anything about a replacement and it kicks in at the beginning of next financial year So in like fucking what's that six weeks or something? Really? Yeah, so in six weeks time no one gets fucking paid from Facebook anymore unless they introduce something else like the star I think they're trying to like get everyone onto the stars thing If that's how t-talk works, I lurk in there trying to do that. That's literally how t-talk works on Uh gifts from fucking like the audience So I don't know what we're gonna fucking do but oh well, I guess everyone's in the same bow day That's fucking crazy What they did last time last time they added monetization They paid out the last two bars To your in your payment. Oh fuck. I hope they do that with mine. Although they just said pretty much That it just stops dead like you'll just stop earning money on You know as soon as the new financial year starts the first of July, it's just you won't make another cent through ad rolls through through mid rolls Fuck that's fucking cool Yeah Have some have some fucking news can't anyway. Good night See you later, bro I wonder how long it's going to take for him to message and like he'll feel so like he'll message people like, oh Fucking That'll start a big rumour Everyone's gonna be freaking out I hope that he gets back to us within this episode. So that we just really leave it. Yeah That's that's what this segment is about. We just buried a bomb We buried a bomb and lucky will discover it eventually and it's going to go off and it's going to be magnificent. Can't Just like we got you out of work. Yeah Fuck that. Yeah It is fine when it's not you. Yeah, you see now All right. Anyway comment below if you have any lies that you want us to tell locky or can be any of the boys We're not just strictly doing only locky. We just always do him for the first few times The segment is called lying to locky anyone can be locky. Yeah But anyway, um, that is the end of that Um, oh, shit. Did that camera just flash? It did not. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it started jiggling up and down It doesn't do no it did it did it did it did it did not. Yes, it did man How did it move the whole tripod back? It did not. Yeah, it did See It's still going but it's moved I hate that joke anyway Time for the next segment, which is uh It's the cow the comment of the week. Do you understand the abbreviation cow? If you want to comment of the week I've completely forgotten to mention if you comment at all At all you are in the runnings to win $1,000. We will announce the winners at the end of the season Okay, so any comment can win we will choose all of the comments from our season four And one of them will win a thousand dollars This right here is the cow boards and this is where we is a separate thing Where we select one comment that we love We cut it out and glue it on that board and mortalizing it forever And if you are on that board, you also are in the running To win another thousand dollars. We pick one comment the best comment of the entire year will win a thousand dollars So comment the more times you comment the bigger chance you ever win in a thousand dollars And you might become cow and have even more chance of winning thousand dollars money all around Fuck Very good. It's very good value And this is okay. Marty doesn't know about this one yet, but this is what I came up with Understand it's good. If you really think about it, it's good. If you really watch this podcast a lot. It's gonna make sense It's strong Go on then Let's have it the comment went to shawn c. Oh my god, shawn c shawn c Shawn capital C All right, and the comment is Matt dad greg Matt dad greg because that's the second time And why not oh why not so out there? It's a different person who said it It's all right Look, it's what last week we discovered that matt's name is just his dad's name with a mat at the front of it So chris carlin's already on the board for a matt dad greg and now there's another matt dad greg Oh, really there's two matt dad gregs. Yeah, it's a told you it's two stone. Oh, wow. Yeah I don't remember any of the comments on the board. Yeah, that doesn't mean everyone matt greg matt dad greg It doesn't need all right So there you go Look how shit a comment you have to write and you could be in the runnings to win a thousand dollars So get your little fucking thumbs pumping it's for your own financial benefit. Do you understand? Get on that you you got to be in it to win it you may as well It'll only take you a second right and you could win money. I've started buying lotto tickets Yeah, yes anyone 40 dollars the other day I spent 60 So he's down 20 But you had a great time anyway onto the questions This is a segment where we answer your questions that you comment on the muddy muck or fully actual podcast channel We answer the ones the questions with the most likes first And then we work our way down okay So if you have a question that you want us to answer comment it in and have a scroll through and like other people's questions That you want us to answer go for it matthew brown All right Um All right top question went to a a flight reviews. Oh, yeah, which I guess is american airlines flight reviews Is that what you do? Sorry Sorry, what did he say? World trade sentiment D monetized Um, all right, so a a flight reviews got top question and he says Question for the podcast Can we get a have victim on the podcast to share our experience? Oh, can we can we get like I mean we can get like ex-girlfriends and shit or just a girl you've been with no Yes, yes, there's no one coming on this podcast that I've had sex with no What about what about it? Oh my god, she's gonna love that you just said that too. What about one of the Me and her were just talking about it about the podcast like last night. Yeah, it's so funny You just whispered it over to me. Let's get her on. No, she's busy What about one of the animals? What are the animals that you've had now we want a human to tell us exactly what it feels like Surely it to be fucking punch full of mints I'm so nervous that uh an x is gonna call into the battle or an x like a girl The matt brown has been with Message us Money Michael on instagram If you want to come on the podcast and describe what it is like to have the brown mints little brown Fuck up you and fill your guts with hot sticky mints. Oh my god I don't want one of them is ever gonna come on this show And then I'll talk we'll just talk about what they said. Yeah through through you next question is from sassy This question is from meth We should legally change his name to meth you Oh, this is such a good video if we give you 20 bucks, would you change the name to meth you 20 dollars to change my name to meth you okay, okay I'd be like 20 grand 20 grand and you change your name to to meth you oh shit when you say it like that It's not very good. Is it why it's meth. He's fine. Shut up. Just say your name's matthew, but it has a foreign spelling 20 grand No 20 bucks no no dude that could be a great video one day if we're so rich that that doesn't matter We have it on camera Shit, okay. I can always change it back. Can't I yeah, of course you can't yeah fine. Matthew I've got it. Okay. Here it is. I've got to at least get it on my driver's license after the change And then I can change it's just changing an a 20. It's fine. It's nothing. Yeah, let's do it. All right. The question is um And she thinks everyone is wondering this also, but did they saw the inmates member back on or is he transitioning now? So if you remember last uh, yeah the last black book. Yeah, I have no idea Matt. You would know what happened to him Well, um, after you hit his dick and balls off You're gonna have to let him I don't want to ruin it because there's more to the story and he comes back So I'm just gonna you'll have to wait and see. All right. Well, there you go. He might reappear. Let's cliffhanger Yeah, that's that actually is All right next question next question is from Declan Kennedy Um, do you boys prefer smoking mong's joints or having edibles? Depends it varies all the time edibles are great on the weekends when you have nothing to do You just want to lie down and just be high Joints are great just like to relax after a big day And um bongs. Yeah, same thing. You know smoking doesn't get you when you're near as fly la la la la I've seen you have edibles while relaxed and when you're out Doing things and when you have them when you're out your anxiety goes through the room. Oh, yeah You can't be in public with edibles. Well, I can't I just I prefer to just be screaming at the mirror In in darkness. I want to know how many people comment below if you smoke before you do exercise And if it's good Joe Rogan does that it makes you go so much harder And focus more it's so good on the wheel smoke weed and then play tennis All go to the gym and that as well. It just makes yeah, it just makes everything all very good Everyone just do that Next question is from matt dawg at 99. Um question of the podcast except matt brown because he doesn't have a girlfriend What is the most What is the most embarrassing thing you've done? Um in front of your girlfriends or to your girlfriends or with your girlfriends Most embarrassing. What's your embarrassing most embarrassing moment in front of your girlfriend? Oh, man I'm enjoying cringe-offs. You're trying to out cringe each other. Oh, I can see you guys doing that Oh, like I've never been more entertained in my life Does that mean you two are going to bring cringe as a couple like attack on the rest of the group? I don't know, but it's fucking good. There's some funny dances going on and some very very funny songs Well, so you walk through the door and there's a dance going on jingle offs It can be like crazy dance offs. It can be like fuck. I can see it. It gets very exciting Yeah, I don't really there's nothing some of the videos that have been the very shocking ones where I'm shitting on him and stuff They've like obviously kind of fucked that would be embarrassing But I don't really there's been nothing really that has embarrassed me with mon But it is fun to embarrass her when we're out in public Fucking hell. Do you do the farts with her? Oh, yeah, she gets so annoyed when I do real loud farts in public Don't don't do that Are you fucking kidding me? Oh very good very good. Wow next question is from fism Will you lad's film another orange throw video with the old mate rocket arm would be great to see some carnage Well, we've done a part two to that a the mandarin milk skull. We have yeah, we have So that's we've already done it twice. It is funny. I understand with oranges though. Mandarin's oranges are different though Yeah, yeah, orange oranges are oranges are more painful. Not by much though. Mandarin's are surprisingly painful The cushion you would think makes it better, but it doesn't fuck standing there with james lee pegging an orange I mean remember we did apples and then we nearly did potatoes, but we realized we shouldn't oh, yeah, that would Fuck you up. You get one of the head. You're knocked out They're like rocks. Yeah, break a rib with them easy of james are rocks I'm gonna say it potatoes are rocks starts. They're spelled the same. I think hitting it by a potato Yeah, and fuck me remember our old live stream days michael and I before we made a sense from anything From any videos we would go live once a week and just fucking massacre each other. I still love thursday's shares I'd finish work and I get in the car and I just dry didn't even I tell you i'm coming I just know there's a live stream on and I drive there was so excited We'd always fucking glue fucking thumbtacks to tennis balls. Do you mean to each other? We wish we could still do that for social media social media man, I wonder like That time we like kicked a ball of soccer ball like thumbtacks. Yeah, I reckon you could do that again That that was that was you are probably good that that went wrong so early because that was just Was able to just so heavy because it's covered in thumbtacks It was just like a cannon ball with with edges on it just rips flesh off I think the mistake was you took it front on. I think you should have turned around take it ass back and And but what if it cuts like you're fucking thigh or just glances off your ass cheek and strips a chunk of you I'm good with it. All right I'll do it. We'll redo that. Yeah, we'll do it. I'll jump in next time No, you won't if you're afraid to do it. I'll come and do it. You would do that. Yep You swear you swear to let me you would let me kick a thumbtack soccer ball at you. You promise to rachel Yeah, you got to check with her first. You might not want you to put yourself on harm's way like that, baby You have to smoke meth for a thousand What about it's not a fucking toilet when you do meth you do this it'll help I reckon No, I don't want to do you could kill three birds with one stone I'm going to take a soccer ball of a thumbtack soccer ball while I'm meth On meth you'd be like way more stronger. Yeah, maybe I would turn into a maniac and think that you attacked me Look, you do you do meth be god. I reckon I'd have each of you Yeah, exactly change your name to meth you that day because now you're high and that'll be fun And then you take the soccer ball with the thumbtacks You're asked because you're on that see that doesn't sound like a fun day I'd rather just I'd rather just finish work and just drive over and just be like, oh, yeah, you know finish work and then go Oh, shit soccer ball and then just roll up and do it All right, then you still have to smoke meth and drags out of just days and days What happened to you guys not mentioning it till boys trip? Yeah Yeah, we're excited about your name I really want everyone to start calling math math math you It's so good. Oh, he's pale enough. He looks like a math. Yeah, he's nearly transparent. Oh, I wish you started getting swords Next question is from uh sastra 99 When will mapper and get a decent chair boys? Well, he gets another one episode 20 Which is five episodes away now matt so you hang in there and you gotta say the tallest tunnel look good on you, baby You're wearing matching shirt today. Hmm. I just saw the next question. I didn't I didn't know I forgot I was there Next question from staff galloway has greg brown ever done Greg brown is matt brown's father my dad has not done. Oh, I should I should ask him I don't think he has these maybe his mates offered him money when they were younger And that's why he named you the way he named you because he was on math Yeah, dude, I reckon if you name your son I guess matthew off if your name greg you've probably done math. I'll say that. Yeah, I'm gonna stand up I'm gonna stand up with that. Oh god. Um, see Next question is from declin kennedy. Did you guys have any childhood nicknames? Uh, marty farty What when you were in high school? No, not high school in high school. They just called me, um Uh the beggar The german beggar The german beggars background you got any scraps for him And then they just throw it in the bin despite tossing on the ground and I was fighting with the seagulls Oh seagulls I had five pet seagulls We just follow you around Like a weird witch. What was your nickname brookie? brook house And that's your luck and mickey bb mickey or my mickey bb mickey james calls me mickey. Yeah, he does he does call you mickey sometimes We called you dirty michael for a while. Yeah, because we had like we had the time we had like four michaels now group So it was there was little michael that was oh dirtbag. I remember dirtbag. I did that. I made it two weeks without showing I remember henry once when I first started meeting you I went I was like, oh, what's it like living with michael and he goes, yeah, it's all right He just has a little dark corner in my room I Didn't like my high school nickname ever just call me brownie brownie. Oh wow. Hey brownie brown's better than brownie But the only only my higher people who knew me in high school I feel can call me that everyone else just calls me my full name brown. Yeah, your nickname is matt brown Your full name Like my friend Jess. I think one day was just like matt brown matt brown and just it just sort of grew there with people and No, it's just hey, it's just when you look at your name. He just that's just hey say it They don't even say Matthew Brown. They say matt brown. Yeah matt brown. Yeah brown town math brown Um, next question is from the solution 41. Here we go What is the best thing you've done that wasn't filmed but wish you had filmed it? Oh man, there's been so many The pig that almost killed me would be unbelievable. I reckon that would be the most viral thing we've ever done Yeah, michael we're filming once with this wild pig. Well, not a wild pig. It was a pet pig But it didn't like to be touched and michael didn't know that and he walked over to pad it and it turned on him He knocked me to my like knees it could have mauled him. It's huge. Oh, it's like us three together Oh, man. It was scary. It later killed their family dog I'm not that same day like like a month later. It killed their family. I remember it stalking you in the videos Oh It felt threatened by his femininity The only reason why I survived is because the momentum of the push it pushed me to my knees and then I bounced up quickly Did it have a snapper? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was the scariest moment of my life Julian saw anyway that if we had a filmed it would have been one of the best things we've ever filmed A lot of our stories that we've told we wish we're on camera. Oh, yeah, true fucking. There's been heaps of shit. Oh Very good. Just picturing it's very good Um, next question is from austin taylor Marty, did you did you even replace michael's necklace that you broke on the cheetah video? Uh, no, he took it to a jeweler and they fixed it Amber sorted that for me. So thank you All right next question guys um Next question from, um, menwell or mennell or menwell or mennell are some oh god, but Um, what's the funniest illegal thing you've all done that you can safely talk about now? There's a lot that we can't safely talk about but, um The I guess kidnapping that guy That's like, like, you know, you shouldn't get away with kidnapping someone and we shouldn't be allowed. I'm worried talking about it But no, if they ask for you to be like they extradited Yeah, we were sort of and they need that the guy to press charges and like, you know Yeah, and he's not gonna do that. He originally wanted to be Kidnapped. Yeah, I don't think he even knows how to press charges Yeah, so don't don't worry about that. Um, yeah, I don't think there is much other Nothing that springs to mind. I'm sure there is though. It's a good question. We should think about it Oh All right final question okay, that's enough Oh yuck Oh I knew that pain was coming worth it And that's it. That's that's it. That's a wrap. I got one more question. Um, this is from fr sr Question for the podcast. Uh boys, what's your scariest ghost story? Have we told this we probably have Charlie. Oh, man, and just Yeah, that was fucking weird Michael. So those are just a weird like two months Yeah, like we were there was a lot of uh, Michael you can't contact shit. Yeah, Michael was having sleep sleep paralysis Well, it all started with charlie charlie you put two pencils on and you have yes No written there and you ask it you say all this shit and then you ask her questions And then the pencil just moves on its own It's meant to no. I know what you're thinking and I look i'm the biggest skeptic here. You can't Can't Yeah, that was pretty kind and that was like three hours of us asking it a question And it would move every time at the end of the question and then there were times where we're like, all right No one's saying anything for 10 minutes. Let's just see if it moves and then we wait 10 minutes nothing And then straight away we'd ask a question. Boom. It would move Not to mention the weird shit that started happening after in one of our q&a videos There was a fucking white orb that flew in the in the shot landed on michael's shoulder. He looks at it And then it fucking hot. He looks away just ignores it and then it fucking flies away. Do you remember that? Yeah, yeah bug and no Oh my god. I wish I had the fucking footage and the fuck like the weird electronic shit Like I tried to stir it up one night by like abusing it and then finally when everyone got a bed The whole house flickered on and off like using it you idiot And I got obsessed with it for a bit the sleep paralysis can really bring on everything was fucking flick like flickering in the house mat Look because it was fucking weird man. I was froze. You know when you're so scared you just freeze for ages Well, that's what happened in the first sleep paralysis. I was so scared Oh, yeah, but you're meant to be frozen. Yeah, yeah, because you are and you get forced down This is real life. This is real life. This happened in fucking reality. He was Entire body everything in the house is going. You shouldn't have fucked with it then I'm saying that sleep paralysis anything can happen. You hallucinate as well But this was real life The last one actually flickering mat. Oh, yeah, yours is a dream. Maybe this thing ever. I couldn't believe it Anyway, sorry Sorry, but yeah sleep paralysis bad as well. I had that around that time as well And that you taught me how to accept. Oh, you can have fun with sleep paralysis It is not a negative thing at all. Enjoy sleep if you get it It's use it make sure you laugh at the spirits. Yeah, you got a lot. Yeah, that's the other way You can go on fucking journeys You always just start off by going we're going fuck off and like yell at it. I laughed. Did that work? Yeah, a little bit, but then when you start to accept it, it's not it because it's terrifying Won't you laugh at it and you just sort of show it to your boss? You can create a lucid dream and it's fucking hot everyone If you've lucid dreamed properly in your life, you'll know it's and it was one of the best experiences You can only happen to me once and I like as soon as I accepted it I was like, I think I got control of this and then I was like Boom, I started flying you get to fly. It's so fun. It's like a Peter Pan It's unbelievable. It's like you can feel the wind and then I was in some sort of space Aerobic universe you would have been in the space time continue and there's these giant pillars square blocks And they had these like flayly arms and I was I was moving towards them And then just when I was about to figure out what they were boom you woke up Yeah, yeah, I predicted all of that in my head what you shot through into space felt like real Like the wind was in your face and everything. It's so fucking hot. I want to do a I want to have a turn you've never lucid dream, but you never dream. How do you not? How do you not sleep paralysis? Like I get it from lack of sleep. Yeah We were once in their life. That's when we were getting it when we were fucking working out clacks to the floor And we weren't sleeping much and the fucking the naps during the day, man, and you got to be alone I feel I feel like you're next to somebody. I would be sleeping next to marty at the time That's when we shared a bed and I'd be twitching and I'd be watching him trying to wake up But I couldn't I thought I was screaming at him and then I wake up and go do sometimes you were screaming But I just chose not to move because I was like fuck. He's having this shit time right now. I'm going to leave You could see me screaming. Yeah, I could see twitching and shit My first ever experience alive You remember our friend a meal That we went to the wedding with When I first ever moved into his place like we were friends, but like we weren't super close I moved into his place. It was night number one and that was my first ever sleep Oh, maybe my second sleep paralysis like attack. So it's fucking scary and I was so scared I started yelling out in my sleep paralysis to a meal And I was thinking and I woke up in the morning. I was like, fuck. Did I actually yell out? Because he's gonna think I'm the biggest freak that it's just He's just gonna get him to come into your bedroom so you can fuck him late one night I am here. Come here Come and sleep with me I did in my head yell out to him for help because I was so scared and I was like, please tell me that did not happen I'm pretty sure it doesn't because he I thought I was yelling at Marty I asked him one. I like maybe I come in but when he said no, sorry But yeah spirits there you go spirits and shit, baby. That's creative. That's different Man, our peer box segment is really really firing up a All right Now where fucking were we prank prank call time there is in brisman. There's a billboard An empty billboard and it says call this number for advertising So that's what Michael and I did last week was driving past. I was like, oh, that's a fucking really prime location billboard I wonder how much just out of interest that would cost to hire So I called the number and the guy is grumpy dude answers and he's the corner No, that's not my billboard anymore. I haven't owned that for 10 years I just haven't taken my number down and was it was real short with me very angry So I figure so many people must call his cunt and ask about the fucking billboard because his number's on a billboard This has been huge in the middle of the billboard. I hope he answers So I am going to call as Arnold fine And I will be demanding that he advertise my pigs Yeah, this is I'm so excited for this Yeah, you should be everyone Okay, here we go Uh, hello, uh, my name, uh, Arnold fine. I see your billboard in next to uh, tram site and I uh, won't call about uh, maybe booking uh advertisement for my peak business and I call see how much So I uh, your number on the billboard there, it's uh on on the billboard I called the number here It's been there 10 years. I have no idea. I can't help you. Sorry. So you could you leave your number on billboard for 10 year You expect me to believe that uh, you have not to call them and say take my number down, huh? I wish I wish I could Why are you not to call uh, and tell them to remove number, huh? Then no one call you You don't want I don't I don't know the new owners are you uh, listen here pussy cat Okay, you tell me that uh, this is not uh, because I have accent Uh, you don't want to uh, or do business with a strange foreign man Uh, would pick so you uh pretend your number uh been there for 10 years You're actually really funny. Are you serious? Why you why you say that? You clearly uh, have some uh, discrimination for my Talking talking funny. You say that uh, let me talk a funny and you Know to business with me But that you don't do business with me. Why because I uh I have no idea. I have no idea what you're talking about buddy. Oh, you why you give me number fun You give me number fun building owner. So I called them about the billboard. Why are you fucking me around? Some guy Oh What do you mean some guy Listen here, buddy. You know if you come down. Yeah, I listen, huh? Okay, all right. I've no I've no idea who you are And you need to calm down. Okay. Okay. I listen. I listen and pussy. Okay Don't ever fucking ring me and talk to me like that. What do you mean? Your number on billboard Oh, no, you listen me. You are you listening. Okay. I put your number on billboard people Good. Listen. Listen here. Listen here, mate That number has been on that billboard for 10 years someone removed the skin And so my number is now on the billboard. I don't know who the new owners are And I have no idea who owns it. Oh, man. You fucking ring me again Did you come to me like that? I will come to your house And fuck you up. You what do you come to my house? I'm gonna fucking call that guy every week going through all of the characters until he blows up Next week Margaret will be having a chat to him And then Rondo That is the best thing it keeps getting better. Oh, he's quite angry. He's got an attitude. Hey Oh, man. It's nice. I love it Oh, it would suck though your number gets he because so obviously the peelings come off and the old numbers there And he they're ringing. He must cop it a few times. He sounded quite. Oh, yeah Sorry, mate, then he was quite nice at the start and then you fucking When fucking when he gets like aggressive, what's his name the german guy that you do? It's not german and he's eastern european What's his name again? I don't do him. How do you forget that? Yeah, that guy when he gets upset it gets exciting. Oh, man It's all right. Anyway, um He wants to fight Arnold at his house Oh I should have given him julian's address And then I could should have message julian. Hey, man, I got a guy coming to give you a gift come out on the street and meet him for me Okay, so Anyway, that is the end of episode number 15 come back next week because I guarantee it'll be way better We're the best. We're the best. We're the best best best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best best best best best