 Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Esoteric Atlanta. Of course, my name is Bryce and as promised, I have my friend, I get to say that now, my friend, Kelly Teal, back on Esoteric Atlanta, back on the channel. How are you doing, Kelly? I'm doing great. A little tired. I'm drinking my green tea, but I'm good. I'm good. Surviving like everyone else. Right. I mean, we were laughing offline like as soon as this world stops ending, we can just have fun. Just be, just be enjoying. And I was telling you, Kelly, like, I haven't even washed my hair today. It's been one of those days. I feel like our audience can relate to that. Oh yeah, me too. It's just one of those days. Well, you guys, I get to say the privilege of my friend because what happens from time to time or at least my experience of opening up a YouTube channel is that I get to interview these really interesting people with really cool stories. And from time to time, those people that I interview end up becoming friends of mine. And Kelly is one of those people. Katherine Everett is one. Tamara is one where we just hit it off and we end up talking more offline than we do online. And so I am. So I feel like it's been a while since you've been on the channel, but I feel like it hasn't been that long because I talked to you. You're just the coolest person ever. And so, and so we're friends now. And so I'm so excited that I can say that my friend, Kelly, not my guest, but my friend, Kelly Teal. Oh, I love that. And I get to, I mean, our conversations are just, they're the highlight of my week. Oh, truly. They are so much fun. Oh, totally. I was, I think I said it in my update video because of all the people watching right now on my channel are really cool people who are very open minded. And I was saying, you know, Kelly is one of those people where you can talk about the most bizarre theories. And she's like, Yeah, that makes sense. I love it. I love it. I love having people in my life who are so open minded to spirituality and so open minded to the fact that maybe we don't really know what's really out there and maybe that's part of our journey. And it's kind of hard to find those people in the world right now because we think we know so much. But we're always surprising ourselves when we make new discoveries that maybe we weren't so right about what we thought we knew. And you guys, I wanted to focus on that more today with Kelly. Now, if you've been on this channel for a while, you know, Kelly, I interviewed her originally because she survived the nexium cult. And that was, of course, a very, very scandalous story, big story that broke out here in the United States. But I told Kelly that I, you know, there's so much more to Kelly. There's so much more to you than just this one part of your life. I wanted you to kind of start talking about who you are as a person, not just as somebody that had this experience. But before we get into that, guys, before I forget, I will be placing the past episode down the show notes in case you didn't miss them so you can catch up on that story. And I also very quickly wanted to go ahead and once again, talk about Kelly does have a book called what am I doing unapologetically glorious. And I will be putting a link to that down in the description box below so that you guys can also purchase her her book and read her story. Because I mean, I don't want to really focus on the cult stuff. But I will say with the cult stuff, the thing that's so fascinating is it's the story of human strength and human resilience. It becomes less about the psychotic leaders and more about the people who had the balls to to really survive that. And so I will suggest you guys getting her book again, that link will be down in the description box below. All right, Kelly. So where do you want to start, girl? Let's pray. Let's get weird and woo woo. Yeah. You know, it's so when you were we were talking offline earlier and sort of like what my story is, it's like, wow, what's my story? And every everyone has one. Which is so awesome. Mine started when I was quite young, I'm sure a lot of your viewers can relate, you know, there comes a time where you start questioning, you know, is there something more than this life? Is there something else out there that I don't know about? And my kind of big aha moment happened. Well, the biggest one really happened when I was in about third grade. And I was writing a book report on Old Levi Gorge and the fossils that they found that the leaky's found actually Mary leaky found the fossils of Lucy and Louis leaky ended up naming her. But anyway, it's a whole other story. And from that point, I started really questioning what else was out there that I didn't know about because I was fascinated with this. So my parents had this big bookshelf that had encyclopedias, and they had all kinds of books. And one of the books on there was James Mitchner's call, it was called The Source, I think. And in the beginning of the book, they start talking about what I think was, I haven't read it in such a long time, but it was like around Stonehenge and reincarnation and things like that. And that really got me going, like around third, fourth grade. What the heck is that? So I've always been sort of this. I wouldn't call myself a scholar, more of a seeker kind of looking for what else is out there kind of pushing the envelope, but mostly just doing a lot of exploration. I love Nancy Drew, because I thought she was amazing that she could, you know, be out there solving mysteries. So I was like a little Nancy Drew, in a way, kind of looking in books and asking questions. And of course, the adults didn't have any answers. The church didn't really have any answers for me. So I just through the years just kept searching. And that brought me to places like the Philippines, the Baguio Mountains, working with June LeBeau, who is a psychic surgeon. I ended up going to homeopathic school, I graduated after three years. I started studying herbs. And this is when you couldn't even get herbs, like you could you had to grow your own herbs, and you couldn't get essential oils, except maybe on catalogs, a homeopathic remedies, forget it. So I started really diving into that and eventually got to a place where I became after the Baguio Mountains and working with June LeBeau right next to him for two weeks. I now had this sort of new way to use energy that I didn't understand before. And he didn't really teach me how to do it. He just showed me how to do it. And I was doing it. And I don't really know what I was doing. So when I got home, I was in this sort of weird place of like, I can now do these interesting things. But and I wasn't doing psychic surgery, I was working with him, holding energy, and actually working in his energetic field, which I had never really done before. And I came home like, what the heck do I do with this? So I went to Reiki school and became a Reiki master teacher and a couple of different disciplines. And then I opened my own practice. So I was doing homeopathy and Reiki, sometimes together, sometimes separately, because homeopathy is a whole different deal, a long intake process. And I got to this place where after all these years of sort of searching and asking questions, I was like, I don't even know what's up anymore. Like, I started sort of imploding in on myself. And I started questioning who I was as a person, and starting to feel disconnected from the universe started feeling disconnected from people. And I was desperate. And that's when I came across Nixxiom. So I'm encapsulating this to a very short thing. Oh, so interesting. I always say the more you learn, the less you know. Yes, exactly. Isn't that like the tragedy sometimes of spirit, people think spirituality is just light and love and butterflies and rainbows, but you go through a literal death. When you enter the spiritual world where you do start going, what the fuck, like, who am I? Like, well, I don't understand anymore, because the tangible world you see, you realize is really just the illusion in the world you can't see seems more of the real world, but you can't. Anyway, so I totally get that I total absolutely, but carry on that. Yes. Yeah, so I was becoming more confused instead of more succinct and more focused. So I said I kind of became desperate and I came across these classes called executive success program, which we've talked about in other episodes. And I joined Nixxiom thinking that this was going to be my answer, right? It was going to answer all these questions for me. I was finally going to find happiness. I was finally going to be okay. All of the stuff that they promised, right? Went through, obviously found out it was a cult. That was a whole, a whole crazy thing. It's been five years now since I've been out of the cult, almost, almost six. And I've done two documentaries, as you know, and written a book and interviews and all that. And I'm just now, like, literally now in the last couple of weeks coming to this place where I feel like, Oh, my gosh, I need to go back to my roots. Like, I'm being pulled back now into the energy medicine and all those places that I had explored before I'm getting pulled back into that now because the interesting thing of getting out of a cult is realizing there is no answer, right? There is no one answer, no one has it. So I'm getting pulled back to where I kind of came from for my roots. And now I'm exploring it again in a different way, right? Not that there's any one place that's going to be the answer, but that all of these things that everyone explores in their life are all tools to help us be in the now, like in the present right now. Does that kind of make sense? There's a teacher that I know that has a really good way, because you know, my lineage of Ashtanga going, these are all yeah, different paths. They're not the answer. They're it's just like when you're building a house, the point is the house, not the hammer. The hammer is just the tool, right? And so that's what these practices and there's this teacher that says, you know, all the trees in the forest are different, but they're all reaching for the same light. And that's what and it is. And I think, you know, it's it's so it's almost like when you if you take a step back and it's so hard when you're in it. But if you take a step back and like look at your life, those times where there was such pain, those were the points that were bringing you clarity. So it's almost like going through Nixiam and all that that that shit show that you had to go through gave you that information intuitively that you needed to hold on to that the only answer lies within you, you know, and that's I want it. There's a quote. There's a great quote that I've been doing some deep dives into the old ancient mystery schools. And there's this great Greek saying that says if you die before you die, you won't die when you die. Yeah, and that's because you have to die to yourself and that's hard. It's freaking hard. And when you're in that, I can totally I mean, it's guys like, I saw when I talked to Claire Hadley that I got a comment where someone was like, I don't know how people fall for this. I'm like, I do. It's when you're in that moment of destruction and despair, you will listen to anyone who has confidence and thinks they have the answer because it's so where you are so uncomfortable that you're trying to do anything to get out of it. And and that shadow work right like that shadow work of the shadow side of yourself. And when I found out that you were a Reiki practitioner and you had done all now there was contracts with next seem right like they didn't they didn't want the spiritual side did they know no because it was all very scientific right so it was all data driven. And so when they found out I was had this Reiki practice I kept the Reiki practice pretty much all through Nick Sam, which is a whole other story. But they didn't they're like, Oh, there's no science behind it. What which is not true, but they didn't see it as data. So they kind of poo poo didn't so I kind of kept it quiet on the side because I loved my clients. But when I got out of Nick Sam, I was so flipped upside down that I let the practice go because I felt that I really had no business working with people in the state that I was in. So yeah, and you know, I think trauma I mean, I don't I don't want to minimize trauma at all. But I'm now starting to see trauma. It's almost like a portal for for growing, right? Like it creates almost like this portal for you to actually see who you are. Feel your feelings like actually be in the the feeling of it. Now again, I'm not minimizing because I know there's all different kinds of trauma. But I I'm starting to see it that way as a way to heal being in the portal of that trauma. And I feel like trauma creates the portals for us to for sometimes for us to be able to look into those portals and be in them and actually see what it's all about because it's teaching us something. Right. Our pain teaches us things. I love that, Kelly. I'm going to title that this I'm going to title this episode that because I freaking that just gave me chills down my spine. And yes, it's not minimizing the pain people and but that pain. It's when you're saying that it's almost like, you know, when you have like a sponge that you've been using to like clean the dishes and you're ringing it out and sometimes you have to ring it out real aggressively just to make sure you get all of the soap suds out so it doesn't mold over. It's like when you go through that intense trauma, you have to go through that real aggressive ringing out that is going to pull up the deeply deeply hidden hidden it's shadow worker or low vibrational stuff within us that has to come out to the surface in order for it to be washed away. I love that. So yeah, it allows us. It allows us to be able to as Carolyn Miss says, what does she say? She says, get bored with your past because it's over, right? But we can't get bored with our past if we're not acknowledging it. If we pretend it's not there and we stuff it down, it's like, you know, that old adage holding the beach ball down underwater. You can only do for so long. It's going to come up and it's going to come up in places that, you know, inconvenient places. So why not be with it when you can and acknowledge it and then allow it to go away, you know, go into your past and move on to the your next part of your life? It's like that saying what you resist will always persist. Yes. Yes, exactly. It's bigger and it gets bigger. And I get, you know, it's when I went through my trauma therapy, the one thing I learned, I love that get bored with your past. The more I talked about stuff I had been through, the less power it had over me. And it just became just a story. And that is it. But I think, you know, I was telling you, Kelly, before we signed on because I've got so many incredible people that watch this channel that are seekers like you and you and me are. And so they're really open minded. And I was saying we're at this time in our timeline as humanity, where some of these more taboo subjects become are becoming more, more acceptable to talk about. And the more people talk about the more you realize you're not alone. And I think some of us, too, that have had like, like I grew up having spiritual, paranormal or spiritual experiences, I think you've had some that in itself can cause trauma, too. You know, you kiss because other people don't believe you when you when you see things that someone else doesn't see, you start to feel crazy. You want to hide that part of yourself. But the more you talk about it, the more you realize that, oh, my God, somebody else has seen this. And so it starts becoming, it doesn't hold that power over you anymore. It just becomes something. It gets boring. I love that. Do you want to talk about any of your paranormal experiences that you've had or and how that's affected you? Um, yeah, I mean, I've had a few. I think the first one that I had, which, you know, I didn't talk about for years and years, I almost like forgot about it. It's so interesting. I didn't actually remember it until I was in my like 30s. And which I think is so interesting. So I was about four, three or four years old, and I was in bed at night. And my bed was the head of my bed was next to a window, which we don't really do anymore. But and that window looked down onto our driveway. And so I would sleep with my head next to the window. And I woke up one night. Something woke me up and I'm standing looking outside out to the window into onto the driveway and up was walking a creature. So I can think of it look like a very long, skinny, almost like a telephone pole. It sounds really weird, almost like a head that was shaped like a cylinder. And it was walking up the driveway toward me and I just passed out. And I felt and so when I woke up, I woke up, I'm like four, I think I woke up and I'm thinking, Oh, my gosh, that was just a crazy dream. But I woke up and my head was where my feet would have been. So I had fallen backwards from the window, right? So that's what I knew it for is like that was real. Now nothing ever came of that other than I never knew, you know, I was very frightened. I that and then I just kind of forgot about it. And I don't remember much for my childhood, actually. I remember just a few little things here and there. But that's the one thing I do remember. And remember things because they're important. Mm hmm. That told you that you had eyes to see like you had the eyes to actually see what maybe other people couldn't. Mm hmm. On this channel, we've talked a lot about the law of one and people know the whole story of wonderers we've done. And I've told you off camera, Kelly, I think you're a wonderer. I think that you came to this earth by choice to be here at this time. You were up in a higher density and you volunteered as like the hunger games I volunteered. Can we get down here? We're like, What the hell are we thinking? Exactly. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, we're home now. A board mission, a board mission. And a lot of times wonderers do have very psychedelic experiences, especially when they're super young. And the fact that in the third and fourth grade, you were already kind of like something's not right. Something's not right. Like this doesn't feel this doesn't feel because most kids at that age are just content to, you know, do do their daily in that play time, you know, and so I think that's really powerful. And Kelly, have you seen this show? I think it's called Paranormal Caught on TV. I probably have seen it. I love watching some of those shows where they yeah, I probably have seen it. I don't watch a lot of television, but I'm sure I've seen something like that. We put we've been putting that on at night. It's so funny to relax. We watch like true crime. I got a little over the date line. So we were watching this. We were watching this like show with the detective, a homicide detective from New York and this woman who's a psychic medium and they go to these haunted houses and they try to solve the case together. And my boyfriend got tired of that. But he found this show Paranormal Caught on TV and he's really good at figuring out if something's fake or not. Like he can he did photography for a while. A lot of these clips that people send in are not faked and people. It's like on their home cameras that they catch the shape shifting that they've caught human beings that walk through walls, but yet aren't spirits like the fact that there's one on teleportation. It is wild. And last night I was like, wow, as we were just saying, like, we're at this time in our history where we have the technology to record these things, but we're also open enough to share these experiences with other people realizing that they're more common than they're very common, very, very common, especially orbs, you know, a lot of people will catch these orbs on their camera. Now sometimes they're the sun, but, you know, a lot of times they're moving and their orbs, I've caught so many on camera. It's crazy. When my dog passed away, it's just so sad. I had two dogs. One passed away at home. I didn't even know she was sick. Just as horrible. Anyway, so she passed away and I found her and I was just distraught. Just it's like almost having a child die and not be there. It was unbelievable. Anyway, so when we took care of her ashes and everything that night, we had at the time, we had a camera in the garage. I'm not even sure why we don't have it anymore, but we had a camera in the garage. And on the camera was this orb that because she had a bed in the garage, a bed in the house and a bed in my bedroom. So she had three beds in the living room too. And this orb went from her bed that was still in the garage, circled around like this, dipped across the garage and then up to the top of the ceiling and out. The night after we took care of her ashes, we buried her ashes. And I was like, oh my gosh, that was Molly. I've been telling my husband, that was Molly. He's like, oh, yeah, this is probably the camera. I'm like, my, you know, my husband's lived with me for 22 years. He's still, he's like, okay. He's starting sometimes now because I'm so intuitive and kind of, you know, I can see things a lot many times before they happen. He actually now relies on me for a lot of information regarding what's going on with some of his stuff. And so I think, you know, we don't see a lot of it happening around us. And I think we have to sort of be in the right sort of place to see it. You know, we need to be very open. And I think sometimes not sometimes just comes and gets you. But in this case, it was a camera that just happened to be on. And, you know, you just know when you see things like that, you just know what they are. That first gut instinct is always right. We know that too. And I think it's with pets. It's so because that's me right with my dog. I'm like, I don't I just can't even think about that day because that's the horrible thing with dogs is that they just don't live as long as we do. And there's a lot of people who have I when I lived in Los Angeles, I lived in a really old apartment near the bimer right off of the sunset strip. So very area of it was great for my twenties wouldn't want to live there now. But when I was 24, it was real fun. But there was a ghost cat that lived in the holy heat. This cat would go from unit to unit to unit and everybody that lived there knew about this cat. And it was wild because you would see it, you wouldn't see it, but you would see like the sofa the intention or you would hear like purring or it would sound like eating like a cat eating in the kitchen. You could you would feel it jump on you at night like you could not deny it that this was when you have those experiences and the fact that all of my neighbors which it's you know, obviously you don't know your neighbors when you move in. But over time, you're all sharing in these experiences like there's a freaking ghost cat and everybody's having it. And for some reason, the spirit of that cat just really liked maybe that cat lived there. Maybe it had good memories. But I think to you know, especially with dogs and the law of when I tell people this all the time with with with animals, especially with your what we could call pets. And I hate using that word because they're like family members with animals are second density where third density. And so third density is a density of choice. Second density, those that in city of developing self awareness. So you think about the re so you're in each density for a certain amount of lifetimes. So when an animal is first incarnated as an animal, it might be like a wild animal that's working within the past. But over time, it evolves into an animal that's going to become come into a human vicinity, whether that's a dog or horse, a cat, any type of domesticated animal. So when you have, let's say a dog coming into your home, you up as that third density being you have enveloped that animal, that dog that second density being with your love and your unconditional love and your self awareness. So all of a sudden this this this animal has a name. So they recognize like my dog recognizes that he is Robby. He also responds to Bubba and good boy. So I think she got all sorts of names. He's multiple person out multiple person. Yeah. Recognize like his identity and he knows like my boyfriend, he knows my boyfriend's name, but he also knows Daddy. So if I say, Oh, Daddy's going to be home, his ears will perk up. You know, so he's recognizing different people in different relationships. Now, I know they have those relationships in the wild, too, but it's more of a complex thought within their density. Start to learn to reciprocate like my dog. When we first rescued him from India, we kiss him, you know. And so he started doing this thing when we first got him where we would be walking and he would like pushes his nozzle like into our leg or into our head and he would do it multiple times and look at you. And so we realized that he was mimicking kissing, even though he doesn't know what he can do that when we kissed and it was a sign of affection. And so he was giving that back to us. And so what I tell people, especially when they lose an animal is you most likely you were the last stop in that animals evolution as an animal, as a second density being and the next stop because they developed that that love, they developed that awareness is human in the next generation. And so it's you given that animal, the liberation to to move up the the unconsciousness, right? It's like for for third density, we need the development of fourth density, right? We need the angels, we need the stories of angels, the story order to to understand there's something bigger than us. And for us as third density beings who can't see anything, like the dogs and the cats can see us. And they know that we are their protectors. We what is it the Hawaiian say Kahoo? You're the Kahoo. Yeah, I love that you're you're sweet Kahoo, you're their guardian. And they know that. But for us as third density, and we have more complex thought and third density, we can't see, you know, on a day, we see sometimes, but like on a daily basis, like how different would it be if we just like see the angels every day, see, see the ghost. A very different experience, because in that relies more on our inner our inner intuitive knowing our inner intuitive faith of the unknown and, you know, so it's a different experience, but we're still enveloped by those stories. Every religion has a story of some some benevolent higher being that's whether you call it an angel or whatever, also the negative as well, the demons, the gins, all that kind of stuff. But it helps. So so it's the same thing in every density. It's just you're relying on the density above you to give you that. So if you're dog Molly, you liberated her. You gave her she was something else, I'll tell you on this. But even like you go talking about the densities and the different levels, even in my my Reiki room, I was really fortunate to have a treatment room inside a doctor's office, which was amazing. And I had the best clientele ever. And they're honestly, and I kid you not, everyone would talk about it. So I had the room all done. I cleared it and I had, you know, all my crystals and I had just done a really amazing job with this room in terms of making it feel just amazing when you walked in. There was a portal in there in the corner of the room. And I didn't know it when I moved in. I don't think anybody knew it. But it was there. And people would feel it. So I had to actually move the bed that I was using for Reiki and everything away from the portal because people could feel the it was a little chaotic sort of. So I would have to every time I worked on someone sort of asked the angels to sort of settle the portal down a little bit. So it wasn't as abrupt with clients coming in so that it was more of a gentle energy. But I'll tell you, anything that we did in that room, and I can't really obviously talk about like people who are confidentiality, but some of the things that happened in that room were absolutely amazing. And people who had never experienced other beings or feeling angels, you know, because they just had never really explored it, but they wanted to have some Reiki done would feel it and they would talk to me about it. And I feel it on the table and I feel it through their bodies and we would have these conversations about what was going on. So it was like really cool to work with other densities. I didn't even know what I was doing at the time because I couldn't really articulate it really. But now I understand it's like we have these other planes, other densities that are always around us. Right. And so in meditation in times of calmness and times of inner going inside and being open, we can interact with those other dimensions. Sometimes they just interact with us and maybe we're not driving, don't really want to interact or what have you. But but we can interact with them. And I think that is really the key to where we're going now as a as a species. Absolutely. I always ask for help. Always. Same. I think I know the ones of light too. They they are very precaution like they want you to ask them for help. They want you to to give. And yeah, it's I even before I go to bed at night because I know with spiritual warfare that sometimes when your conscious mind is asleep, that's when and also I know just from growing growing up in the Southeast we've got all the witchy stuff going on down here that for spirit worlds, especially for like disembodied human. So not like angels, but people who are what we call ghosts, it's flipped for them. So what is day for us is night for them and what is night for them is day for us. And so that's why they're more active at night. And that's why sometimes a lot of more paranormal experiences will happen at night. This also has to do with our son. Our son is charging the energy of the spirits during the day. They can be at more active at night. And I you know, I wake up with bruises with scratches all the time. And so every night before I go to bed, I ask to be guarded by by my team by my angels to make sure that my body gets a chance because I do think sometimes for these angels or disembodied spirits, even the ones that are benevolent that are good, I think they even they forget or they don't realize how much we rely on our bodies when we're here and when your body is tired or weak, it's going to affect your cognitive abilities is going to affect your vulnerability. And so I every night guys like that's and that might be the origins of like the bedtime prayers of where that comes from is making sure that the house or the bed is guarded so that you can get some rest and then so you can recharge. It's real. I mean, it is this thing. There's been nights, you guys, where I've like been upset about something or scared about something. And I'll ask Archangel Michael or Magdalena, one of my guides to hug me. You will feel them literally hug you. You will feel that pressure of a hug. It's so unbelievable. It is it is like the most and you know it's good. It's not a bad you feel that the love coming from them. It's unbelievable. And I know people who have a strong relationship with Michael. I read a whole book on Michael and I've actually seen this too as well. If you're in a place where you're really scared whether it's a paranormal thing or you know, you're in the middle of a fight with an abusive partner whatever it is. If you can call on Michael even just in your head. A lot of times people will see a purple light move through the room, which is Michael. And so they're there and they're that's their whole, you know, just like you love your your pets, just like everybody watching would do anything for their dog with Caesar their dog or their cat is nothing but pure. Even when they're being bad and chewing up a shoe, you still think they're just the cutest thing ever. That's how you look at us. That's how you want us, you know, I think elephants all didn't I read somewhere the elephants also view us that way. They think humans are probably I got charged by an elephant or we got charged by an elephant in Africa this earlier this year. And everyone in our truck was scared. Well, the the guide wasn't scared. But everyone was just just so scared. And I wasn't scared at all, which is probably not very smart. But I just knew that elephant was just mad and he wasn't going to do anything. But, you know, animals, they give off a vibration that is that you can feel and they don't want to hurt you. You know, they they they get angry just like anybody else and they have their moments. But when I when I was a kid going back to Archangel Michael, when I was a kid, I used to have these dreams probably around the same time fourth, fifth grade, where I would dream that I was in class. And there were 12 of us and we're all wearing like, kind of like white robes, but not really robes, they were just sort of like pull over kaftans in a way or something. And we're sitting in a classroom situation and we're learning and and I would have these dreams all the time. And I started sort of talking to like, okay, to myself or who I thought might be around like, what's going on? And then I started asking myself, who am I talking to? And Michael was the word that always came name that always came through. At that time, I didn't know who Archangel Michael was never heard of him. So years later, I was that Michael was just my sort of protector someone who was around. And when I got older, I realized it was Archangel Michael and he's everywhere right. And that's who I always call on. And many times I have actually felt like a tap on my shoulder, like, like that. And there's no one there. And I feel it like, especially when I've been in situations or times in my life that were just really difficult. And I could feel that. And it's just amazing. It really is. Well, and that makes sense because again, I think you're a wonderer and the wonderers Michael's job is to protect wonders. Oh, really? Okay, I didn't know that. Because his job, he's like what the military, he's like he's Hanuman in the in the Hindu. Oh, and so he's military. He's like, he's like, he's the one that battles up against Lucifer, you know, like in the in the stories in the mythology. And so his job. So for wonderers, wonderers are also attacked more than other people because the dark side, because in third density, we're also in polarity. And it's necessary in third density to be polarity. So there could be friction. So there could be choices that are made, right? So the dark side, when they see a wonderer, they can see a wonder that's not fair is that they know who you are before you know who you are. And so wonderers come with like, with Michael knowing where they are because he is and I know he'll be there for anyone. But for especially course, Michael is very much on call because you are going to be you're going to enter into a life of being attacked more demonically than most people because of who because you'd volunteer, you did the most selfless thing you could do and volunteer to come. I'll give you an example. So according to the law one, wonderers have not been on the in third density for a long, long, long time. And I question that. I mean, I think we can feel that in our bodies. We're like, this is weird. I just this food is crap. Like, no. And I because my boyfriend was like, you're wondering, I was like, but I have so many ties to like, I really am obsessed with World War Two. Even from a young child, I would watch the sound of music and know as a young child, it was about the Holocaust, even though the sound of music doesn't talk about the Holocaust. It's just like the subtext. So it's a small child. But I would know these things. And I was saying to my boyfriend, I was like, well, how, how do I explain the fact that I feel like I lived during this time. And my boyfriend goes, well, that's simple. You heard the prayers of suffering at that time during World War Two. You heard the prayers. That's what wonderers do. They heal hear the prayers of the people who are suffering here on third density. And of course, time is different up there than it is down here. So all these time periods where you feel this, this attraction to you probably heard those prayers. And that's why you decided to volunteer to come back down to earth. And I think that's why a lot of people born post World War Two. I know a lot of people born post that have a weird tie to work. They're very like, I think that's why the history channel became the Hitler channel because all they do is show documentaries on people. And that might be why it because it might be a lot of people came back because they heard that. I think some are karmic returns. But I think some people just it was such an just a horrific thing that happened. I mean, I mean, I said there today. I mean, I know we kind of get immune to the number. We get immune to that 6 million people. But when you really sit with that and you think about what actually happened less than 100 years ago, it's shocking. It is shocking the depravity of what I was saying on a live the day there's a great documentary on Netflix. And I think my subscriber, Steve, I hate saying subscriber, my friend, Steve, I'll say my friends watching Steve. I think he said it was the forgotten Holocaust. That might be correct. I still need to check. But it was this. These it was a documentary. It's on Netflix about these scientists who studied the mind of the German soldiers like what happened to make them become what they became. And it's so fascinating because we don't think that will happen. We're like, how would that I would never do that. And it shows the psychology that the wearing down of the mind that the indoctrination, yeah, which which we see we're seeing it with I earlier today, I did a live with my friend. We have the this Sunday, the 24th on CNN is the negative 48 QAnon cult documentary that's being released. And that's I think I told you off. I know I told you more offline about that than I could say online. But I've definitely got to know a lot of the people who are working on that. And we see that we can see it everywhere. And that's why these are so important. And because human beings were so malleable, you know, we're so malleable. And I think but for people like you who survived that, you really fell into your sense of self, where you know, you came back to that sense of self, you know, yeah. And I think, you know, it forced me to go back into my sense of self in a big way. I'm not sure it does that for everyone. I'm not really sure because a lot of people's processes are different. And some people kind of get stuck in certain areas of recovery. For me, it was a full circle, as I was kind of saying, I'm kind of coming back now to my own roots. But there there definitely is a after indoctrinating into any system, right? There there's a to get out of that indoctrination, you have to find yourself because you have a lot completely lost yourself. I would say when I came out, there was probably 20% of me left to work with just enough, you know, just enough to keep me going just enough to hold on to my myself. And then I had to rebuild all of that, because I did not know who I was. And I wouldn't, I would say I probably didn't really know who I was going into it, but not in the same way. I was questioning. But my identity really, I really had to look at that and rebuild it and who I was the fun part about it was I got to rebuild myself in the way that I really wanted to because I had to look at how society saw me. I mean, geez, I did two documentaries and I have no idea what people feel about those. Like, I don't read reviews. I don't say you were so hot on those documentaries. You are such a beautiful woman. Every time I think that's my friend, like that's my friend. She my friend. So funny. But I mean, you know that there's a ton of judgment around it, right? I mean, it's just there in the world. And so I had to rebuild myself because I was still processing during the documentaries, the filming of them. I'm still processing who I was. And I had to deal with that. And so that helped me to understand the other the way other people see me is none of my business. It's none of my business. And so that's a part of rebuilding the identity that I'm talking about. So I really was privileged in that way, right? I got thrown into the fire twice in a way, right? Nixxiom and then doing the documentaries, not that I was thrown into the fire, but I, I chose to do this and make myself public and all these other things and a lot came back at me that I had to deal with. But that's the gift there. Again, you have the portal of the trauma, right? And there and what do you do with it? So what I did was that with it was rebuild myself in a way where other people's opinions of me don't matter as much. And of course, there's always that little bit of hurts when you somebody, the judgment because you're always going to feel that a little bit. But at the, but the bulk of me is just none of my business with other people think about me. And that is how you get back to you. Yeah, and I read that when I was in LA, I remember reading in the course, this was, it's amazing how fast technology has boomed in the last 20 years, because even when I lived in LA in the, you know, 2008, we were still like reading newspapers. We, you know, we still got the newspaper, we still got, and I, and I remember, which seems so weird now because now it's all online. But I remember reading this article, someone had written from this, this elderly lady, they asked this elderly later, what are the things if you wish you could tell the young people today, what are some like lessons? And one of the things was what other people think of you is none of your business. Yeah, it's so true. So true. And the other thing is that I have told clients many times, is that you cannot control the judgment of someone else. People are going to judge no matter what, they're just, they're going to do it in their head, they're going to do it out loud, they're going to maybe catch it for themselves, maybe not, doesn't matter. But they're going to do it. So just expect it. Like just know what's going to happen. Don't try to control it, because once you start to try to control what other people are going to think then you become not you. You're doing the song and dance, a weird song and dance of trying to control this other stuff, which you can't control. So no, you can't control it. And just be, be you do what you do, stand by your ethics, your morals, your integrity, you do what you do and know what you're doing is correct. And if it's not then correct it. Right? And if someone does correct you and you feel like, wow, that, that really hurt, then you need to maybe look at the emotion behind it and think, well, maybe there's some truth in it. Right? Yeah. But if, but you can decide whether you want to change your behavior or not. But you can't control what they say or think or do. And most judgment is coming from people's own perceptions of their own self. Exactly. It's all self protection. You're so and it is so hard. And I will say, though, having a YouTube, I definitely have developed a thicker skin when it comes to that anytime. And I always often think about that because even being on YouTube, you're not. It's a weird, it's a weird thing because your platform gets bigger. Certain people know who you are, but then none of the general public like you go. It's very weird. And so, but in my little world on YouTube, I have more empathy now for like celebrities. I understand why Britney Spears lost her shit in 2008. Like, I totally get that. You know, when you're totally having people watch you and criticize you and and not understand why you're, you know, people who don't have our privy to your personal life don't understand why you're making certain decisions, you know, until they name it, cast that judgment. I heard something too. I'm going to paraphrase what they got. Don't. What did he say? Don't value the opinions of people whose lives you wouldn't want to mirror. People whose lives you don't particularly like or want to want to elate. Don't value their opinions. Yeah, you have to pick and choose, you know, when you get feedback from people, right, you have to run it through your own filter and decide whether it's true for you or not and be able to really be truthful with yourself to look at that side that could possibly be that do those things, right? We're all capable of making mistakes and all of that. But the group that I'm finding out the people that I have around me that are close or a the people I can talk to about pretty much anything, but they're also the people and this is the most important part. They are the people who will show me my blind spot in a loving way. And I can take that feedback and I can hear it and I'm not saying it doesn't hurt because sometimes it does. But I can take it and I can look and say that was a gift. Now I can see this blind spot over here, but it's not personal and I don't make myself a bad person about it. I simply say, oh, now I see what I'm doing over here. Now I can choose what I'm going to do with it, either not do it anymore or fix it or whatever. But now I know about it. And those are the people that actually love me enough to go up against that sort of. You know, that uncomfortable spot resisted and tell me the truth. And no, I'm not going to bite their head off. You helped me so much the other day, Kelly, like you really, really helped me on the phone the other day. And my audience does know that I've struggled with that one cult and the things that have been said, the stuff that I've had to go to the police and you helped me so much the other day, I was kind of catching you up on some stuff. And you were like, I'm paraphrasing what you said, but it was so, so powerful because you were like, just don't even talk about it. Just don't even give it because that line, that connection, the more you feed it is giving it strength. And it was I mean, I can't remember exactly how you said it, but it was like so divine in the way you said it and the advice that you gave. It was like it and it made so much sense and it was like, yes, because you were right, like to to to harp on somebody else's projections of you, which are total lies and not even true, only brings you down. It doesn't bring that person down. And so just not feed it is what's going to stop it from. And then, of course, I've done what I've had to do with the law enforcement and they've got it. They're professionals. They're running the investigation. We know. I know Kelly knows sometimes it does take a little while for law enforcement. We look at how long it took them to get Keith Reneary and how long even before that you guys went they went to the New York Times. People there was invested. There were I don't even think I listened to somebody the other day. I can't remember where it was. I was just like listening to something else has cleaning like they were already kind of sniffing around. And a lot of that didn't even know that the United States government was already kind of like aware that there was a possible problem. So with that being said, it's like having that piece that knowing the the right information is with the right people and knowing that they are working within their own guidelines of law in order to to stop the whatever they the crime from happening and then just like then just living your life because, you know, if somebody I am not doing it, there's no I'm not doing anything wrong. So I'm not in trouble like that that's the truth. And so that's what's going to continue to be the truth. And so whatever this other person says in their cult doesn't really matter because it's not exactly. And the thing is, too, is we are our thoughts, right? So our reality is based on our thoughts. And one of the things that I did, I've worked with ketamine. I've worked with microdosing mushrooms and whatnot with therapists. And and the one thing that I really came away with and I'm still really looking at is that we create these new neural pathways and we use some of these things like ketamine, create neural pathways to meditation as well. Excuse me. But the one thing that I really am starting to see is that when we have a thought that's going down the rabbit hole or we're having these thoughts that are they're not conducive for our health. So we can't make them stop. But what we can do is we can become aware of them. Like, for example, yesterday I was in a situation of having to have a very difficult conversation in a group setting. And it was I had to to bring some things up and my body like I can handle hard situations and hard conversations. But for some reason, my body just went off. My heart was beating. Everything was just going. And I was stepped back and I'm looking at this while people are looking at me waiting for me to speak. And I'm like, wow, it's the same thing with your thoughts, right? You have to step back and acknowledge, wow, this was a really gnarly thought that it is out of myself or something else. And so you just kind of become aware of it and look and go, OK, wow, so where do I want to go from here? Let's let's think about something else. Let's rearrange that thought. What have you? Because you can't stop them. Like, I couldn't stop my body from going off. It was just going off. Yeah, yeah, I'm like, what is going on? Why do I feel this well? I couldn't figure out in the moment why I was feeling that way. It didn't really matter. It was the fact that I was able to acknowledge it and go, OK, I can still work with this so I can still say what I need to say and then I can look at why it was going off later. But it's the awareness that allows you to be enough in the moment to be able to create the reality that you need, which for me in that moment yesterday was being able to say my piece, explain the situation, et cetera. So that's so and you're so right. And I totally get that because I have anxiety. So I know that feeling where your body is going into complete panic mode. You're like, oh, shit, oh, shit. Oh, is that a moment? And and, you know, it's your summer. I had a moment today where I felt myself kind of slumping into like a bad thought. And you're right. It's just observing it and being like, OK, this is just your fears, but fear is false evidence appearing real. What's that? I read a meme. I listen. I can sit like if I don't stop myself, I will sit on Instagram all day and watch people shoot because people are hysterical. I share like a gazillion of them because they make me laugh so much. And I love the real you sent me some really funny stuff. They're the best. I have to give it to humanity as soon as humanity can be sometimes really funny humans on this planet that are very clever. But there's one person put this meme. It's like anxiety is literally a conspiracy theory about yourself. Totally. Right. It's you. Conspiracy theory about yourself. And I was like exactly that. I was like, that's true. That resonates like, you know, but you can't even when you struggle with anxiety, you can't. It's interesting, you know, and this yoga sutras. Shreese always always points about books. Shreese Swami Sathitananda's commentary on the sutras. He actually talks about anxiety and he talks about how with the practice of yoga, everything is about realigning yourself with God. And when you are totally mentally in alignment with God, you will have fears or anxiety because your faith is there. And so when you have these moments of anxiety and fear, it's a way to go. OK, wait a minute. Where am I not trusting God or the universe? Remember vocabulary word? You're guys. And my boyfriend is actually really good at that because he'll even say to me like times where I get really like I start to catastrophe think, you know, like about the future. Like all of a sudden I think I'm going to be homeless when that's never going to, you know, like all of a sudden you go to the worst case scenario and my boyfriend's like, when has the universe ever let you down? In your whole 40 years on this planet, when has God ever let you down? It's always worked out. Always. And it's that even when you're feeling that a moment, it's like reminding yourself that this is literally a conspiracy theory. You've created it. You got to let it play out. It's interesting. Oh, as Rom Dots, we're both Rom Dots fans and he would say that in his books, like whenever something weird would happen, instead of like freaking out, he just be like, interesting. Yeah. Yeah, I see. I love Rom Dots. I mean, he didn't come into my life until later. Actually, I didn't really get to know who he was until after he passed away, which is so sad to me because when I figured out who he was and really just really fell actually fell in love with him. It's very interesting. I just I love the man. He was in Maui and I was thinking, oh, had I known he was there, had I known about him, I would have gone to Maui and I would have somehow found a way to him. But it's it's just so interesting. I really feel like he's still around. And it's funny when I say these things sometimes. And I've actually talked to Rom Dots like I talked to my spirit guides and everything. And he always get I'm right here. I haven't gone anywhere. And it's it's really it's such a it's such a loving presence. Like I can't even explain him. I love that man fatherly. I think I told you. I don't know if I told you if I told the audience. But right before my first trip to India, I was heavily reading a lot of Rom Dots. He's really he's really smart to. And the thing about even though he was a Harvard teacher, like way smarter than I am, like he wouldn't. The way he wrote, he didn't try to like outdo you with words. He wrote really. It was very easy to read what he wrote. He explained things very well. And it was right before my first trip to India where I was really I was living by myself in my own apartment. I was really in my spare time just very in study state where I was studying scripture, studying all these different things. And of course, reading a lot of his commentary and books. And I just randomly one day like send an email just for shits and giggles. And was like, dear Rom Dots or whoever. I just wanted to say I'm about to head off to my first trip to India. And I just want to let you know how much your work has meant to me at this time in my life as I'm seeking these truth. I something very simple like that. Well, a couple of days later, I got an email back from his assistant. And he was like, you want to meet him? We can do with you. And I didn't do it because I was so. I was like, what am I? I literally could cook. I created a conspiracy theory about myself. I was like, what am I going to say on the zoo? Like this. I think back then it was like Skype or something. Like this was long before. I think it was like Skype was just out. So it was like and I was I just said, I'll get back to you. And then I just never and I could kick myself for that now. I could kick myself for not doing that. And the funny thing is he passed away in December of 2019, 19 right before he passed away around the time my uncle passed away. So that's how I remember. It was right before the world shut down for 20 times. My boyfriend, who's a fan of a fan of him, his as well kind of laugh and he was like, yeah, my work is done. I'm out of here. I'm out of here before the chick comes down. Yeah. He's like, I'm giving you guys the tools. I've helped you. Now you know, you deal with these situations and act in accordance to your own. But you know, he was so old when he passed away and bless his heart. He'd had a stroke and it was definitely his time. I have. Have you ever? Do I have? I don't know. Oh, here it is. So I've recommended this before. So the Bhagavad Gita and my copy of this book is so old and you can see the papers are so brown. Rom Dass's commentary on the Bhagavad Gita passed to God for anybody who wants because I've always said the Bhagavad Gita is one of the most like changing books I've ever read. But it's because of Rom Dass's commentary and his commentary is actually thicker than the in the Bhagavad Gita. I can't speak. It is it's based off of his. He used to teach these courses. And so he has like his notes here. He would teach these college based courses on the on Eastern philosophy and he would partner with like Buddhist. So he was coming from the Hindu perspective and he would partner with a Buddhist person. And so they would teach courses and I mean things I've highlighted where he says one isn't attached to the idea of thinking is what it's all about the overthought. This is a kind of a sickness here in the West, a sickness of overthought. And so like I would highlight and you can tell me my pages are just so the trouble is we can only see the truth when we can cease to identify with the part of ourselves. We think we have to protect like how powerful is that. Only see the truth when we cease to try to protect that part of ourselves that is resistant to the truth. You know exactly powerful and I had that. Sorry I say that that resistance is kind of like when I was talking about when you have that emotional reaction to something somebody saying something to you. That's the resistance. And whenever I always tell my clients I still do if I tell you something that that resonates with you, it will just feel right. If I tell you something that has a big resistance to it, this might be something we want to look at or you want to look at that. We don't have to never push it. But there are resistance to things is usually covering up a great truth somewhere about ourselves. Not always a fun truth. It's the ego protects the false sense of self. That's all the ego is in the false sense of self is what can die where the spirit, the soul never dies. So this the soul is not afraid of anything but the ego is. And it's I mean it's y'all. So I'm telling you guys, this is like one of the best comments. I've read so many commentaries on the Bhagavad Gita. This is the one I highly recommend. He's just it's so impactful, the things that he says in a way who talks a lot about his life throughout his books, too. And so you see the struggles that he himself has had. And that's what it was so funny in the beginning, Kelly, when you said you you've stopped practicing for a while when you first got out of next year because I understand that you needed a time to heal all that stuff. But honestly, at this point, because of what you've been through, in my opinion, makes you an even more valuable healer. Well, you know, it's so funny that you say this. I was just talking to a friend about this. It's not about the healer anymore. Right. It's really not. And that's what I learned because what I was when I was had my healing room when I was working all the time, everyone would say you're just amazing what you do. And it was really working in. And I thought I was pretty good. I was a wow, this is really great. Right. And after Nixxiom, which is so interesting because I think a lot of healers get into their ego, right? They think they're the ones who are doing it, right? And I kind of sort of knew at the time that, you know, it's definitely a teamwork, right, with with help. But now this is not about what the with the cult really taught me getting out of Nixxiom was that we are all healers. Yeah. We're all healing ourselves. We're healing other people. This is not about the healer coming in and doing the work. All I do is facilitate. I'm like a sort of like a tool, right? I'm helpful, something helping people. I'm a conduit, right? But everybody is. Well, that we can hear that you possess, though, makes you more open to like servicing, helping someone help themselves. You know, with Reiki, like I've heard my friend Amy talks about this, like Reiki can only work on the person if the person is willing to allow the Reiki to work on that. Correct. And it's there doing the work, right? I'm not doing the work. There are actually the ones doing the work. I'm simply like a little bit of a guide and I'm opening some doors a little bit, maybe, and looking indoors, maybe not even open in there, doing that. I'm maybe looking indoors and saying, Oh, have we looked over here? But let me tell you, when I was going through Reiki school and I spent I'm a Reiki Yusui along with Karuna, a bunch of stuff. And it's a long process. And let me tell you about ego in those classes. And it's very difficult when you're surrounded with that not to get caught up in it, right? The competition and all that, you know, constantly find myself because I took to it very quickly. And my gifts seem to come through very fast. And so people, how are you doing this? And it was always that feels good to get that kind of feedback. But there's a lot of competition. And when I found during that time, when people would compete with me, I would become competitive. Right. Now I see that much differently now. And I understand competition when you can be aware of it is a really great thing, because then you can pull yourself back. But it's a human nature type of thing. But boy, in the healing classes, no matter where you're at, you probably experience that with yoga. Yeah, I was just saying, it's very familiar that it happens. Yeah. Yeah. And it's there's a but it's it's really there's the ego coming in. And that's where I think when people are very interested in being in the healing arts, to be able to be aware of your own ego and the competition that's there and to really pull back from it and allow the person to heal themselves and spirit to come through and the connection that you're involved with that you're you're the it's a gift to be involved in that it's a gift to be part of that. Right. Now I go into my sessions as, wow, I'm privileged to come into this room and connect with this client, along with our spirit guides and be present to this person healing themselves. Does that make sense? I mean, it's yeah, absolutely. Now it's so fascinating that you brought that up because we were actually just talking about this yesterday, my boyfriend and I, because in the yoga world, for sure, the thing about like really potent practices, you know, like the traditional anything that's lineage based, like Yusui, Reiki, the ashtanga yoga, I even guard like these really potent, you know, if you look at like the contemporary yoga is like vinyasa flow, that's not going to be as well. When you're actually going into a really intense purposeful lineage, it's going to start to the path of the poison, right? Like we even look at like micro dosing or ayahuasca or peyote. It's a poison, like the mushroom and it's pulling out intentionally pulling around your own poison. Now what tends to happen is we were just talking about this. It's going to affect people differently. So there's two types of students in the ashtanga lineage. There's the one that the practice has really affected in a major way. And those people are extremely humble and extremely gracious because they've seen their ego, they've battled their ego and they've come out the other side. And then there's the ones that have the biggest ego, they've become almost narcissistic through the practice because they drive the ego. And I tell my students all the time every Sunday, I say this almost every Sunday, especially when I get new students because the ashtanga lineage is an extremely athletic. It's, you know, one of my friends wore one of those Apple watches once and she burned like 600 calories in the first hour. It's very intense. And you're putting your leg behind your head all that kind of stuff. And I say to people, I'm like, listen, there are a lot of flexible assholes in this world. There are a lot of flexible psychopaths in this world. What your athletic ability has nothing to do with the value you possess as a human being. Thank God. Yes, right. I'm a disaster in ashtanga yoga. Well, a complete utter 100% disaster. I tell you all the time, messy yoga is the pretty yoga is boring. Like if you go see pretty yoga, my teacher in India makes fun of us all the time because we'll put pictures of hand sandal Instagram. He's like, you seen Cirque de Soleil. I've seen eight times. They do it better. Like he reminds us all the time that the people, the acrobats of Cirque de Soleil get paid a shit ton of money and they do it better. Like get over yourself. You're you're just a yoga student. And so I try to really explain that with my students. Like this practice is supposed to trigger you so that you look at yourself. It's not a competition. It is I'm triggering the teacher. Let me tell you. I haven't gone back in like so when I started in February went a while like, I don't know, maybe went to five classes or something. And then I stopped. I'm going back. I'm actually ready to go back and try it again because it was so hard. And it was so hard and I was just so just I just felt so out of my league. But I mean, that's part of it, right? That's and it really I wasn't quite ready. And I feel I'm getting ready to go back. Yeah, it's part of it. And I try to keep it like when I have students that come to my class who are new, I always explain to them, listen, this is a set practice. It comes from the yoga karate. I'm not choreographing it. I'm just teaching it as it was. It's supposed to trigger you. And I try to I as a teacher, I always laugh because there's a stronger teachers do have the reputation of being very strict. And I think sometimes people see that strictness as meanness, but it's not. It's just it's very it's following a but I try to like ring. I try to like laugh about things. You know, and just and just be like, you know what, it'd be funny. So and Guruji was that way. My boyfriend's that way. My boyfriend's the senior most teacher in the southeast. And he was a student of Patabi Joyce and he will do that. And AYA, our Shala here in Atlanta is super packed. Like the it's it got to the point where we were having to put waiting room stuff in. And he'll notice it like when not when the room is getting very tense, like when he can feel the mice room, he'll start cracking a joke just to get people to relax. It's just a practice. You all need to come to Atlanta then. Yes, exactly. Exactly. And you know, the funny I will say I learned a lot from him actually, because I will give one story about a good so people who are looking for a good teacher, because every single human being is different. So there's going to be shitty off stronger teachers out there for sure. Like there's going to be teachers, you know, with the potency of this practice, there is you could very easily turn it into a cult if you wanted to. Oh, sure. You have to be very careful. The teacher is the one that's like my my boyfriend's really good about not allowing for lionization. He's very he keeps, you know, he's very attentive students in the class. But once it's over, that's it. You know, he tries to really keep that that he won't give any advice outside of the practice, like he only keeps it within the wheelhouse of yoga. If we have in our I think I told you we have in our shallow all these business cards of other therapists that he will recommend people to there's this issue because that's not his will how so he's I have to say he does a really good job with keeping that very clear at AYA that he this is not this is not a cult, right? Nice. Where was I go? Oh, when I first met him and started assisting him in our stronger we don't use the wall for like inversions. So basically the whole the whole theory with that is if you're you know, the whole point is to get your spine upside down. So if you're in a headstand and your feet never come up, that's fine. As long as your spine is upside down. But to get the feet come up, we want the core to get strong. So we don't want you to like kick to the wall and then hurt yourself. But I noticed that there was a student that he had at that time who was at the end of second series, which takes like 10 years to get the second series. And there's like seven different headstands at the end. And she was using the wall. But she wasn't touching the wall. She was just moving her mat to the wall and coming up and like hovering. And I was so confused as to why he was allowing her to do that because I just wasn't done enough. And so after class, I asked him like, why is this girl? I won't say it will call her Jane. Why are you letting Jane use the wall? And my boyfriend goes, do you know what she does for a living? And I said, no, what does that have to do with anything? He goes, she is high up. The CDC is here in Atlanta. She has a high up position at the CDC. When she goes to work, she can't make a mistake. If she makes a mistake, the whole world feels it. And when she comes here in the morning, she's coming here to prepare herself for her day. If she wants to use, if she's feeling insecure, I'm going to let her use the wall. And he taught me that that was such a learning experience for me as a teacher. Because to be able to have that complex depth of understanding that she didn't need the wall, she wasn't going to hurt herself. She was strong enough, but she just felt like she needed it for her own security. And the fact that she, you know, when the coal, our Ebola outbreak happened and with Obama, he caught her up. And the next thing she know, like on her phone called her up and she had to go to freaking Africa, you know, last minute. And so that kind of taught me the complexities of being a teacher, you know, because you're right. When I, I, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink as a teacher. I can teach you the template. I can explain it to you over and over again about what's happening energetically. But at the end of the day, it's your experience. Right, right. And that just goes right back to, you know, everybody's their own healer, right? Everybody is their own healer. And there is no one person out there that has all the answers. And that's where we get. That's where we get in trouble. It all comes back to us, like Ram Dass says, you know, be here now. Now, you know, we're all just walking each other home. I know. And that's, I meant to say that. So for you guys who've been watching my channel for a long time, I say that a lot, we're all just, that's a Ram Dass quote, we're all just walking each other home. That's all we're doing, except for like the Keith Reneres, they can walk the other direction. Right. It's the honeymoon. He talks about the honeymoon, the Ramayana, when honeymoon says, when I don't know who I am, I serve you when I know who I am. I am you. And that always makes me special. And yes, that's, that's beautiful. Who said that? It's from Hanuman. It's from the Ramayana. Oh, Hanuman. Yeah. Oh, wow. And that's the Archangel Michael, right of the Hindu pantheon. That's the, you know, so, oh my God, it's been like over an hour. I can literally talk to you. Y'all, the last conversation, I think we were on the phone for like over two hours. We were, we were. And, you know, I'm gonna have to start saying y'all because my daughter is going to school in the South. So, you know, I've got you now and my daughter and so y'all is going to have to be part of my vocab. Next time you're in the South, girl, let me know. I will road trip it to where your daughter is and we will hang out. We'll do some. Okay. We'll do some same. I keep saying we were saying that off camera. There's that town. Now my mind's gone completely blank. I covered it on my channel about that town in Florida where it's a bunch of psych because I'm like, I want to go with Kelly and Tamara and Catherine. We have to go. Oh, I'm, I'm, yes, I want to do that because I can now know my mind's gone completely blank and I covered it on this channel. I'll put that in the description box below guys, but it's like the world's biggest psychic town. Oh, we got to go. I mean, girl, I planted dolls. I watched videos on it. I'm like, oh, we got to go. We got to go. We got, I need my girls to go with me. How fun would that be? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Also on the beach and then just drive into town and do our little stay on says and like, I can write about that in my next book. Exactly. Of course, we'll change the names. We'll change the names and protect the innocent. All right, you guys, well, so let's plan it. Let's do it. Let's capture tomorrow with all of our with my friend Angie, who's hysterically spiritual. She's got her own fairy tree now at her house in Athens, Georgia. She's hysterical. I've got these really, I'm so freaking lucky. I've got the coolest women in my life. I have got my friends. These women that are just just I swear to God, we were probably all priestesses and some times that we found each other. But let's go. Let's go talk to the fairies. So anyway, you guys, that was an incredible conversation. Kelly, I really hope that that helped any of our viewers watching. You're not alone struggling. You I say this to my yoga students all the time, you came here to fuck up. That's why you came to human was to actually so don't ever be ashamed of those those moments of weakness. If you need to reach out to someone, please do. There's so many people that are willing to sit down with you and help you through it. You don't have to do this alone. You can you can have that support great therapist. If you're not comfortable with the therapist healer, anything you need, just know that that is why you came here. And so you are you are strong enough you were put here because you're strong enough to handle it. And so you guys, we love each of you, please ask any questions down in the comment section below. I will be putting all of Kelly's information down as well. And we'll let's do this again, Kelly, we should do like a big round table with all I love it all the women and just have a big round table. I would love it. It's just, you know, it's so important to have a tribe, whether it be wherever it is of people that you can relate to, like you and I have actually never met in person, which is so weird. But you can still have relationships with people and not be in person, you know, not that that's going to go on forever. But this is, you know, having a tribe of people that get you and you can listen to or talk to is so crucial. And it's great today in our modern days, because we can do things like zoom, like our ancestors had to write letters and like sit and wait by the mailbox for like months and months on end. And now we can just call people across the world on zoom. And I will say my friend Angie, who lives in Athens, Georgia, who I met through YouTube as well. I've met her in person now because she's only like an hour away from me. And it was like, it was just like being on zoom. We just jumped in my car and we just chatted like we do on zoom. It's just it's so it's so awesome. And I love that we have great subscribers on this Kelly, on this Kelly, on this channel Kelly, great friends. Great. It's such an honor to meet all these cool, bad ass secrets all from all over the world, from all different walks of life, different religions, different political affiliations, all sorts of different people who are all looking again, all the trees in the forest are different, but they're all reaching for the same light and no trees just some of the other tree or it's the all there's room for everyone. So we all have roots, they all go the same place exactly exactly. We're all just walking each other back to the same home. So that's right. But I just that was so wonderful. Kelly, thank you for doing this with me. And I can't wait to get you back on the show. And obviously I talk to you all the time, but I can't wait to get you back on the show. So my my awesome, beautiful, lovely audience gets to see more of you. That's not just that one side of you that we've seen on the media that they get to have. Well, thank you so much. This is such a treat and so much fun. As always, I just, you know, I could talk to you forever. So fun. Thank you for having me. My hot friend, Kelly, my hot friend, Kelly, my hot friend, Bryce, what are you talking about? Oh, my gosh. Oh, he met her in a hot like I was like that could be on the cover of Vogue right now. Like, oh, gosh, about the most tragic thing ever. And she's sexy as hell as she does it. Oh, my gosh. Well, I hope you guys have a wonderful day and we will talk to you guys all very soon. Bye, everybody. Bye. Bye.