 Now let's have a look at how I would write out a full mark response to question number four of the edexile English language Paper one exam remember for this question. You need to allocate a little bit more time to this I would suggest spending 20 minutes on this question now Let's look at how I would answer it if I were in your position writing out the exam paper So let's tackle question number four now this question is a very detailed question in the sense that you have lots To do as I've mentioned you want to spend around 20 minutes on this 15 marker now This question is where you are expected to not only evaluate and of course agree how the writer effectively conveys Florence's thoughts and feelings at the beginning middle and end of the passage However, what you want to do in terms of your writing is have a mix of language and structure points I would suggest for a question of this nature to write an introduction at minimum three Peel paragraphs if you can four pill paragraphs and then a conclusion, okay So you've got an introduction introduction and conclusion does not have to be that detailed You just open and close your discussion broadly then you have at least three pill paragraphs Make sure it's a nice mix of language and structure points here as we can see in this question You don't have to focus on a particular part of the passage You literally have the entire passage meaning I would suggest selecting something from the Opening the early bit try and use something that you've not used in the other questions Okay, because if you recycle the same points that we've used in questions one two or three this kind of reads off as a little bit Lazy, okay So try not to recycle the same points of use try to use other bits of evidence from the opening then pick something from the middle and Then also from the end, okay So you could pick if you go for the three paragraphs something from the opening something from the middle something from the end of course if you're going for the Four paragraphs again, you can have for instance something from the opening two things from the middle Something from the end, right? So let's go back to this question And of course this question is is asking us to focus on Florence's thoughts and feelings Of course if you think about it and how the passage flows it opens with Florence feeling sad Regretful feeling a sense of betrayal and abandonment. So she's and she's running away, okay So there's also this frantic activity and we as readers are thrown right into the mix, okay So really flung into the mix of things it almost opens in media ray We can't technically say it's in media ray because it's literally an extract lifted out from a text, okay However, we are thrown into her emotions which seem to be in turmoil. This is shown through The repetition here or you can even say through the tricolon here or the rule of three, okay So without thoughts without hope without purpose here. She is she seems to be fleeing Okay, and you could either talk about tricolon Which is a structure point or you could talk about rule of three Okay, focusing on thought hope purpose what we can see here in the opening part of the passage is Florence is has very frenzied thoughts She is in a deep sense of turmoil and of course her feelings are feelings of sadness Betrayal and she's frantic because she wants to get as far away from her family as possible and especially her father and stepmother and Also, maybe perhaps I could say that she's frantic to find her old friend the little midshipman, okay So this is the opening Let's look at the middle now here as I mentioned and actually highlighted this, okay, so we've got sky and airy clouds As well as the vigorous freshness of the day Okay, and also here we've got blue sky and airy clouds. This is a language point you can make pathetic fallacy Here we can see pathetic fallacy is used as a direct contrast to her confused emotions Which are in turmoil if anything when she's looking at this beautiful day This makes her feel all the more her sadness her sense of sorrow Okay, so she's cloud she has clouds and darkness on the inside of her and this is Contrasted and even further emphasized by just the beauty of the day that is around her, okay So here you can talk about pathetic fallacies. You've got rid of three. You've got pathetic fallacy now We have to look at something from the middle, okay So what we can see here is you've got London which is coming to life and London seems to be this wild wilderness Okay, so this metaphor is really powerful in In conveying especially when it comes to Florence's thoughts and feelings just how lost she feels Okay, so when she's going through this the streets of London this metaphor is showing just how it looks like a labyrinth It's this area which doesn't seem to be very accessible to her And this is reflecting of how just alone she feels these are the her thoughts and feelings Okay, so this is a really powerful metal Of course, you want to also focus on this sudden shift in her feelings So the contrast between the rhetorical question where to go Here this rhetorical question shows she feels completely alone and Confused on where she can go However, this is in juxtaposition and in contrast to when she looks at her dog Okay, so her dog comes in it dots past her and then comes back to her and she's so happy to see him Okay So even here we could also talk about this rhetorical question Where could you leave me? Would you ever leave me? Okay, so we've got rhetorical question here again and when we look here we can see how the dog is so happy to see her Okay, so he laid his rough Old loving foolish head against her breast Here we've got listing Okay, so of course we're not going to use all of these bits of evidence But we're just picking up all the things that we could use later within the answer Okay, so here we've got listing which shows just the loyalty that the dog feels towards her Okay, and what this is illustrating in terms of Florence's thoughts and feelings is in contrast to how she felt really alone Really sad a strong feeling of abandonment and betrayal here now. She feels that she's not completely alone She's not completely abandoned. She has a loyal companion who really cares for her now Let's look at what we could pick from the end and how the passage ends So think about how London is described here being a wild wilderness even the onomatopoeia here London is described as a scary place this place of chaos. Okay, so onomatopoeia The onomatopoeia here shows just how London is this place of chaos that being said the ending So even here we've got turbid and troubled. Okay, so you've got alliteration here again the alliteration here Emphasizes just how London is this place of chaos, especially as it's all coming to life This is also shown through this listing. Okay, there's just so much going on in London This is in contrast and of course again this chaos reflects Florence's own chaotic thoughts and feelings that she's just literally trying to find This place of refuge, okay where her old friend is and she finally finds this place of refuge and this adjective well remembered coupled with of course the Personification of the door which is inviting. Okay, so there's a totally so here in this personification What we can see is the mood and the atmosphere is a complete contrast the mood inside the little midshipman's house is Very quiet very calm very peaceful And when she suddenly enters her thoughts and feelings shift from being really chaotic being very frantic to being calm Very serene, okay And of course this is shown through the notion that the midshipman's home is her place of refuge Okay, so there's lots going on within this passage which you want to consider and to think about okay So as I mentioned what you're doing is as you're going through you're just picking out these things You don't have to talk about all of it. However, now that we've picked out all the relevant information Let's look at how we can apply this to question number four. Now remember for question number four when it comes to the Writing it out. You want to always begin with an introduction and the conclusion the introduction conclusion does not need to be too complicated The intro conclusion is just referring back to the question. You're talking about how successfully it's achieved It's always successful. This is not history essay. You're not talking about how Charles Dickens. Oh, he's successful to the extent He's not successful. No, this question is not a debate question Just say that the writer's success be achieves whatever the question is asking in this case The writer's success be conveys Florence's thoughts and feelings and her shifting thoughts and feelings. So I will say in the introduction Broadly summarize How are her thoughts and feelings conveyed in the opening versus the ending and of course? How does the right user mix of language and structure techniques? Let's go over this introduction and how I would go over it Okay, so always begin by using a bit of the question to begin so you can state within the extract Dickens successfully conveys Florence's shifting thoughts and Feelings Okay, so I've started off by saying within the extract dickens successfully conveys Florence is shifting thoughts and feelings I'm referring it back to the question and also saying that yes He's I'm already starting with evaluating that. Yes. He's successful and he's showing her thoughts and feelings at the start of the passage We can see She is in intense turmoil and shock as She is fleeing and searching for her friend For her friends home as the passage progresses She is relieved when her dog finds her and By the end her thoughts and feelings Become Calm when she reaches the little midship man's home Okay, so this is the introduction and actually you can then state and finish off dickens successfully conveys her changing thoughts and Feelings through using a mix of Language and Structure Techniques Okay, so Let's read through the introduction and as I mentioned introduction and conclusion it can be really similar in fact I would say keep your intro and conclusion Almost the same of course you can change it a little bit But you don't need to spend too much energy on it use this introduction in your conclusion and just begin instead of within the extract in conclusion dickens successfully Okay, so let's go over the introduction within the extract It can successfully conveys Florence is shifting thoughts and feelings at the start of the passage We can see she is an intense turmoil and shock as she's fleeing and searching for her friends home As the passage progresses she is Relieved when her dog finds her and by the end her thoughts and feelings become calm when she reaches the little midshipman's home Dickens successfully conveys her changing thoughts and feelings through using a mix of language and structure techniques And that is it for your introduction now. Let's begin with the first point Okay, so we're going to start off with how her feelings are really in turmoil her thoughts are really jumbled up She is really just feeling a strong sense of betrayal abandonment sadness and just intense sorrow And this is conveyed through We are going to mention the tricolon. Okay, so I'm going to go for this structural point because I'm also going to talk about afterwards A pathetic palace which is a language point. So I'm being now strategic. Okay, so I'm going to use the pill structure Again, we're back to question before you want to write at least three or four pill paragraphs before you write your conclusion So you have your introduction three to four pill paragraphs making sure that it's a mix between language and structure for each pill paragraph And then your conclusion. So I'm going to start my first pill with this structure point So let's start the point. Okay At the opening Of the passage We as readers are flung into a chaotic scene as Florence sorrowfully flees her home Hence the chaotic Opening reflects Her thoughts And feelings Which Are in extreme Turmoil Okay, so this is my opening Peel paragraph. Okay, so this is my opening point At the opening of the passage where as readers are flung into a chaotic scene It's Florence sorrowfully flees her home. Hence the chaotic Opening reflects her thoughts and feelings which are in extreme turmoil. So basically the point I'm making here Is Florence's thoughts and feelings are one of turmoil. It's all chaos. Her thoughts are totally jumbled up So that's my point now. Let's embed the quotation here where she's talking about she's running without thought without hope without purpose. Okay Florence Had fled her home Without a thought without a hope Without a purpose Okay, so here is my evidence and I've embedded the quotation Florence has fled speech marks close speech marks her home speech marks without a thought without hope without purpose I've embedded my quotation here. So now I'm going to talk about the tricolon And the reference to her thought hope and purpose Dickens effectively Uses tricolon to show How terrible How How sad Florence Felt at her parent's abandonment We can see that She ran away Very suddenly The listing reflects Her intense Feelings of shock and turmoil As she is not even clear on what the future holds for her So now this is my evaluation. This is me explaining and going into detail on why this tricolon is effective Dickens effectively uses tricolon to show how terrible and how sad Florence felt at her parent's abandonment of her We can see that she ran away very suddenly and the listing reflects her intense feelings of shock and turmoil As she is not even clear on what the future holds for her. So that's my explanation Now I need to link back to the question which is to do with her thoughts and feelings And what this is illustrating at the beginning thus We can see that Florence's thoughts and feelings are chaotic and unplanned As she is in shock at the betrayal her parents of her parents's actions The opening reflects her stunned state of mind as she is running away So this is my link back Thus we can see that Florence's thoughts and feelings are chaotic and unplanned as she is in shock at the betrayal of her parents's actions The opening reflects her stunned state of mind as she is running away So that is it with regards to the link back to the question. Okay, so that's my opening pill paragraphs So just to quickly recap I started off with my introduction Then I moved on to my first pill paragraph relating to the opening of the extract Okay, so this is the tricolon. So now I'm going to move on to talk about pathetic fallacy and how this reflects And rather contrast with her thoughts and feelings. So she feels really gloomy. She feels really sad However, the pathetic fallacy is looking at the weather And she just can't believe how beautiful it is because it's all the more emphasizing her sense of sadness I'm going to write out the pill paragraph and then afterwards I'll walk you through it Right, let's look at the second pill paragraph Secondly as Florence walks through the streets of london at daybreak She is surprised at how beautiful the weather is as it stands in stark contrast to her gloomy thoughts and feelings So that's the second pill paragraph and that's the opening point. Let's look at the evidence She notices the blue sky and airy clouds which are a stark contrast to her desolate feelings desolate means sad Okay, so that's the evidence and again as you can see here. I've embedded the quotation Let's look at the explanation Dickens's use of pathetic fallacy is intriguing as the beautiful weather is a stark contrast to Florence's dark and sad internal state This contrast only serves to heighten her sadness as she realizes just how despondent she really is So that is my explanation. I'm talking about how the pathetic fallacy is a real stark contrast to her sad thoughts and feelings Now let's look at the link back to the question Hence Dickens's use of pathetic fallacy powerfully contrasts Florence's desolate thoughts and feelings further emphasizing her despondent state of mind And her sorrowful feelings. So that's the link back to the question. Okay, so now let's Move on to the third pill paragraph and this is the pill paragraph where I'm going to talk about How uh, diogenes appears and especially how he is really really happy And she's asking herself all of these rhetorical questions And then suddenly the appearance of diogenes and even the description of his appearance really makes Florence feel like she can see someone that's familiar and suddenly this rises her mood Okay, it makes her feel much much more happier her thoughts and feelings suddenly shift from being desolate despondent to being really happy and positive So let's Begin with the third pill paragraph Okay, so let's look at the third pill paragraph. So I start off with stating Thirdly Florence's thoughts and feelings of loneliness and despair suddenly change when her dog diogenes Appears seeing her familiar companion restores a sense of happiness as Florence realizes She still has a companion who cares for her. So that's my first point And also don't forget if your point starts getting a bit too long, you can write it in two separate sentences. Okay So that's my first point now the here is the evidence At first Florence is unsure speech marks where to go close speech marks Yet her sighting of her dog's speech mark rough old loving foolish head close speech marks Restores her sense of cheer as she realizes she still has a familiar figure from her past that Still cares about her. So that's my evidence. Okay, so I've embedded two quotations this rhetorical question as well as the listing Which describes how diogenes looks like? Let's look at the explanation Dickens's use of rhetorical question coupled with listing Emphasizes how Florence's thoughts and feelings have suddenly changed when she saw diogenes. Okay, so that's my explanation Florence is elated and blissful when she sees him as she realizes that she is still loved That's also the rest of my explanation. Okay, so I'm going to go over my explanation once more Dickens's use of rhetorical question coupled with listing emphasizes how Florence's thoughts and feelings have suddenly changed when she saw diogenes Florence is elated and blissful when she sees him as she realizes that she is still loved That's the explanation now. Let's look at the link back to the question Therefore Florence's thoughts and feelings change from being despondent to becoming blissful when diogenes appears Now let's look at the and let's write out the final pill paragraph before the conclusion All right, so let's look at the final pill paragraph before our conclusion So let's start with the point Finally as the passage draws in and we realize Florence's chaotic thoughts and feelings become serene When she finally escapes the bustling streets of london and finds refuge in the little midshipman's home That's my point. Let's now look at the evidence london streets are noisy as they speech marks clash and speech marks roar and the city seems like a Speech marks wild wilderness that is confusing. That is my evidence. I've used two bits of evidence I've used the clash and roar here and also the wild wilderness here the metaphor. Okay Let's move on to the explanation Florence is relieved when she sees or actually no and then I've added another extra bit to contrast and to juxtapose these two bits of evidence so the onomatopoeia and the metaphor with the Description of the little midshipman's home as being inviting. Okay, so I've also added a third piece of evidence So Florence is relieved when she sees the inviting and speech mark store of the little midshipman Which was left open. Okay, so just to recap I've used Three separate bits of evidence. Okay, so I've used the onomatopoeia clash and roar here I've also used the metaphor here wild and wilderness is showing how london streets are really noisy really chaotic And this is in contrast to the final quotation of use the inviting and of course I've embedded all of these quotations and this inviting quote shows just how calm and serene the little midshipman's home is So let's look at the explanation We can see that london's chaos is used to reflect Florence's chaotic thoughts and feelings as Dickens's use of onomatopoeia coupled with the metaphor which conveys london as a wilderness reflects Florence's own feelings of confusion and abandonment Yet the personification of the door at the end shows Florence's feelings becoming serene As she escapes london's labyrinth and enters a place of solace and refuge So that is my explanation. I'm basically contrasting how london the way it's chaotic how it's like a labyrinth How it's just really busy. This is showing Florence's own internal busy thoughts and feelings It's a reflection of this and then at the end her feelings totally shift They become really calm serene when she enters this place Which seems like a safe place the little midshipman's home Now let's look at the link back to the question That's Florence's thoughts and feelings shift from sadness and turmoil to serenity when she enters the little midshipman's home Which is depicted as a haven for her. Okay. Haven is a place a safe place So that's it with the four pure paragraphs now I'm going to finish off by concluding and as I mentioned with conclusion you don't really need to work too hard Okay, just go back look at what you've written for your introduction here Basically borrow the language from your introduction to write out your conclusion So I'm going to write out my conclusion and then we're going to move on So let's look at the conclusion In conclusion Dickens success for uses a range of language and structure techniques to reveal Florence's change in thoughts and feelings Again here. It's fairly similar. I've just literally had the introduction in front of me and I've borrowed language from it At the start of the extract Florence is an intense turmoil and chaos as she fled her home Yet she's happy when she sees diogenes The passage concludes by portraying her thoughts and feelings as serene once she enters little midshipman's home Which serves as a place of solace for her a place of solace is a place of peace somewhere where you can escape Okay, so of course, it's not necessarily word for word to be honest If you wanted to use your introduction word for word for your conclusion That's also fine However, if you want to just change a few words around you can just literally do something similar to this Okay, however, your examiner is not looking for this perfect introduction perfect conclusion You're not writing English a-levels. You're not doing an English degree So you don't really need to have the super detailed intro and conclusion You just need to show that for an essay of this nature You need to open it really nicely with an introduction and you need to close it with a conclusion And of course you need to add a minimum of three pill paragraphs if you can add four pill paragraphs So that's really it when it comes to answering question number four So that is all for this lesson as I mentioned this video and these lessons are a slightly different format from before And it's actually based on your feedback. Okay, so when you guys give me feedback I'll always pay attention and where I can I do try my best to adapt and give you guys what you need And what will help you on your journey and to make your gcse experience associated with English easier Okay, so if you do enjoy this style of lesson, do let me know I'd love to hear your feedback and of course if these lessons are a little bit crap Also, just let me know. Okay. I really appreciate your honesty I'll take it as constructive criticism and as I mentioned where I can I'll be more than happy to adapt My method in order to really help you guys achieve that goal of getting a really solid good English gcse At the end of this process. So thank you so much for listening