 You you the world you're full of surprises, aren't you? I remember a few years back watching some of those Resident Evil movies with Mila Jovovich and thinking They can't get any worse than this Yeah, it feels like a simpler time, but with 2021's final gasping breath it came out with Resident Evil Welcome to Raccoon City aka welcome to hell. I I knew you were trouble when you walked in Claire Redfield and shame on me For thinking that this could possibly be anything other than dog crap if you're a fan of the video game franchise That's been going since the PlayStation 1 that name Claire Redfield might have jumped out of you. That's right That's that's one of the characters from the video game her brothers in this to Chris the the beefed up steroid induced Brotastic awesome lead. He's played by Hollywood Vagethrough Robbie Amell I had no idea who this guy was but my wife did she pointed him out instantly What is she doing on her phone? Probably the same thing I'm doing Looking up actors in films all the video game fan favorites are here played by actors who look nothing like them Jill Valentine Albert Wesker Ada Wong and fans of Resident Evil 4 will be very unhappy that Leon is also in this Played like a complete idiot. He's a joke to the force they think he sucks and you know what he kind of does in that He does have the hair though He has that beautiful flowing hair that he gets to kind of flick back gorgeous man gorgeous actor Piss poor character, but saying he's a character is already kind of unfair because no one in this movie is really anything The script is Such bullshit. I can't even describe it. I'll try I'll try we follow the Redfields Mostly Claire as she heads back to Raccoon City after being gone for quite a long time You see her and her brother were raised in an orphanage as little ones and she befriended kind of a creepy Girl creature that lives underground at least that's what the creature says. She's she says I live below What's down below though? Can't wait to find out later in the film. We don't we don't know what's down there We really don't know what the hell is going on in this move Although in the last 20 or so minutes they try to explain some of it There's a conveniently placed clip show already set up. You just have to turn on the projector And it shows a bunch of old footage old-timey footage from like the 80s Yes, I guess in the 80s we were using projectors It's even more funny because the projector footage was clearly shot on 4k high-def cameras And they put the laziest amount of film grain you could think of over the top I mean the picture is incredibly clear with just some grain and shit Remarkable remarkable what the technology was in the 80s or 70s whatever it should have been a VHS tape that they could have put In a VCR, but I understand we're trying to make nods to the video game I was expecting at some point the character to go to a typewriter and hit save And we could continue the movie at a later point or better yet never continue it listen I played a lot of the resident evil video games I was never in it for the story usually after about a half hour in it all Peters out goes completely bonkers fucking Mickey Mouse So the fact that the script was trying to be true I guess to the game was not a good idea Not a good look. I'd say there's spoilers, but I don't think anybody's going to this movie And there's really nothing to spoil. It's just thrown on the pile once again a bad video game movie adaptations shoe string budget sea list actors I'm being generous Really nothing exciting at all that the scares aren't there There's like one or two jump scares in the whole thing a weird fetishization of objects that the camera slowly moves towards that don't Elicit a single response. It's like look at atmosphere. There's a chair not even moving. There's a doll not that creepy This is all they have to offer it is rated R if there was a lot of swearing. I missed it I was I watched this very late. I at one point I accidentally hit the PlayStation controller Which is what I was watching it on and it fast-forwarded about 20 minutes I think so I tried to rewind back to where I was and then realized I didn't care at all So maybe I missed some swearing. I certainly didn't miss any violence or excessive gore There's a couple scenes where zombies eat on people they feast. It's not good It doesn't look cool. Nothing about this is good and somehow this movie which clocks in at just over an hour and a half Manages to somehow be both Really fast-moving and a goddamn chore to sit through it's it's quick and slow In tandem the cinematography if you want to call it that ranges from passable to downright awful There's a sequence where our two leads go into an elevator shaft for a little bit I thought I was watching something off Pornhub. A lot of sexual talk in this review. Let's keep going This is a rant. So I apologize for not keeping in focus I realized I was trying to tell you the plot but then got sidetracked by all the nonsense Really, I kind of talked about the entire thing though Chris and his sister are raised in orphanage She kind of goes off and does her own thing learns to be cool And then she goes back to raccoon city to get her brother out of there because some crazy whack job on YouTube Said that there's doom and gloom in the town. They're doing experiments something with the water poisoning the well And at 6 p.m. The whole thing is going up in flames and she just has a bad feeling so she goes there to see her estranged brother It's been five years. He's not that thrilled with even having her here and this whole town is abandoned Really, the only people left are the the seven or eight cops and a person that works at a diner That said that's the majority. Oh, there's a semi truck driver who's just everywhere all the time That's the majority of the the population. Why not just let the place burn to the ground I mean, that's what that ends up happening. Anyways, the the main Issue of all the issues. There's so many is there's just no plot There's no story. She goes to get her brother out somehow that leads to them Investigating all these places from the first resident evil game. They go, you know, you're at the police station Then you go to the mansion, then you're at an orphanage I don't even know if the orphanage is in the first resident evil or if that's a callback to one of the later ones It's been a long time It's been a long time. Anyway, they're doing nothing. They're just surviving these situations and Uncovering little clues that end up leading nowhere. It's useless and then with just over 20 minutes left of the film I shit you not they think now is the best time to introduce Nemesis. We're throwing him into the film I thought for sure they were gonna end on a terrible tease for the sequel because the guy injected himself with that Serum and they were gonna just do like a slow zoom in of him start to transform into Nemesis or say like I'm your real Nemesis You know like the venom one ending where he's like it's time for carnage. Yeah, no, they actually went all in on Nemesis Pathetic really really bad. They took him out pretty easily This this thing is so awful and then it just ends it just straight ends The the town gets destroyed a spoiler. There's a countdown at 6 a.m The whole thing is gonna go up in flames, which was another bizarre Side plot that went nowhere where a guy has a like a blueberry or a blackberry Whatever those things were called in his locker and it says the whole thing's gonna be destroyed at six He's like, oh god Okay, and then that's it that that's all we know about that He just was working with some of the umbrella people for reasons and yeah It blows up and then our leads the five or six of them walk towards the camera We get some awful green font with some text on there because that's also a callback to the game And then it ends resident evil welcome to raccoon city, which is funny because when the movie starts It's just called resident evil. They didn't bother to put the like the subtitle on there That they put that h2 at the end of the film that that second heading good stuff Just good stuff all around horrible CG effects terrible action bad gore There's there's nothing to praise here really really bad unless you're just so hard up for yet another bad resident evil movie Chock full of terrible references, then I guess bon appetit Well, those are my thoughts on resident evil welcome to raccoon city really bummed out I missed out on this last year and that reminds me something I try to bring up from time to time when I do like a top 10 list or a best-in-worst list you got to take them with a grain of salt I just put out a worst of 2021 movie list this wasn't on there because I hadn't yet seen it Obviously I'd go back and retroactively put this on that list Very high up by the way really one of the worst movies 2021 had to offer that I saw Let me know if you saw this film in the comments below if you avoided it good for you Don't don't watch it's it's really terrible like the video if you had a good time Subscribe if you haven't hopefully I'll see you soon Take me down to the raccoon city with a script is bad and yet in a shitty That was my guns and roses follow me on patreon at patreon.com Slash M does movies clearly. I need the money clearly I need the help or you can become a member right here on YouTube via the join button die. I mean bye resident evil Yeah