 Thank you so much. Happy to be here. We're very spontaneous. We're just trying whatever is given to us, whatever works. And so, yeah, I think the first time I came in contact with you, I don't know, maybe it was on a Facebook page or something, but I just thought, wow, Emily really is taking her steps on this inner calling, living a very intuitive life. And I thought it was kind of fascinating, because it looked like when you were in Denmark, you had maybe worked a job more of a career life like many people have. And then you have this inner calling that's just calling you to go deeper and deeper into to find the truth and to find the depth of our true nature. So, wow, what a journey, isn't this a fun journey? It's been such a long ride and crazy journey to be here, but yeah, also so beautiful. Yeah, and I think you mentioned recently that after we had our initial contact when you were in Bali that you went kind of through a dark night of the soul. And it seems to be, I remember when I went through those really deep times, it was just like the past coming up back into my mind and there was so dark and there was dull thoughts and what am I doing? Where is this heading? And I think a lot of people go through that phase when they start to really just try to be intuitive, just follow their intuition instead of just following what people are telling them to do or the advice that friends and families and colleagues, you know, have lots of advice. So maybe you could just share about a little bit about how your journey's gone. And then yeah, even recently just facing some of the darkest, darkest times. Yeah, yeah. So I think for me it has been like years and years and years where I've been feeling this calling. I just knew that there was something else out there for me and I've always been searching for the truth and wanting to know the truth of the universe and really also wanted to experience being myself fully while I am here. And for me also letting go of the people, please, and me who have always done what was expected of me, both in society and with family and friends. And then last year I just kept feeling this deep, deep calling and I kept seeing signs about going to Bali and I was like, okay, that is interesting. Maybe I should listen to that. And then I was actually at that time taking an education to become a transformation coach. And then in our very last education session we were going through some very deep meditation and I had no idea what we were about to go through at that time, but we were in this meditation and we were guided into this church and then we walk up to the altar and then the woman says to us that you are now actually seeing yourself as an old person and you are deaf in this casket, what's the name? Yeah, exactly. And I think that experience of kind of going through my own death really woke me up in a sense. And I just felt so much love for myself and I felt both happy but also sad like, oh, I want this old woman to live her life like another all these wrinkles and just seeing myself as an old woman. It was just like, wow, I really, I need to follow my heart. I just have to live this life. Like it was such a deep experience for me. And I think that was, I had many, many signs at that time but that was like my final wake up call experiencing my own death. And of course there is no death but death of this body that I'm in right now. And just feeling like, oh, Emily really deserved to just go out there and do what she wants to do. And yeah, after that, it happened very fast actually that I chose to sell my apartment. I lived in this beautiful place in Copenhagen, this wonderful apartment. I've been so blessed to manifest that. So yeah, but I just felt like, yeah, I have all these things but it's not making me happy. I'm not free. My soul wants something else. And yeah, then I was going through a lot of doubts as well and a lot of people saying like, what are you doing? And you're almost 30 years old. What about husband? What about kids? And I was just like, yeah, I want all of that but I cannot just sit here and wait for it. I have to be myself. I have to live my life. But it was still a very long time where it was difficult and there was a lot of, I mean, I knew in my heart it was right but I also had some fighting with the ego and it woke me up in the middle of the night and I was just sweating and just like, what are you doing? Like stop it, don't sell this amazing apartment. This is your dream home and it really was my dream home. And the ego was really like, what if you regret this and just stop what you're doing, you're crazy. So there was a lot of anxiety but it was like beneath all of those ego attack, whatever it was. There was just also this just like calmness in my heart. Just like, I know this is so right because this is me loving myself doing this for me. Taking that leap. Oh, amazing, amazing. It's like going through turbulent times but even waking up in the middle of the night but then still there was something deeper still that said, no, no, this is for you. This is your life going. Exactly. It was very interesting time and I really experienced some very deep levels of love, I remember because I was just feeling like because I've always been such a people pleaser and I was so shy when I was young and just like kind of like one big excuse always feeling like, oh, I'm sorry I'm here. Like I never wanting to hurt anybody, do anything wrong. And just the fact that I did this just for me, it was just like, oh, wow. The love and the releasing of resistance of just there's so much freedom of the other side. People think that it's more scary to take the leap but for me, I reached the point. It's more scary staying where you are. That's so, oh my God, there's so much freedom and just taking the leap because then you don't have to wonder what could have been. Like you're free and so what if it goes wrong? It's just like, you have done it. It doesn't have to stay up here and the thoughts any longer. You're free and that's just something that money can't buy. It's just in the heart. Yeah, it's interesting. When I've heard people that were elderly that were interviewed and they said, you have any wise advice for people who are younger that are going into this world and this life? And they said, yeah, just the only thing I have that still haunts me, these elderly people were saying was they said they had regrets that they would look back on their life and say, I wish I had done this. I wish I had done that. I wish I had done this. Yeah. That thought was very profound because it was really a message to everyone. No matter what age they seem to be, don't live your life where you are going to feel regrets later on and say, I wish I had done it differently. Yeah. Because that's just hypotheticals. You know, why not go for it now and go for it with a full heart and a full gusto and passion and then when you go through it, you don't have to look back and think, I wish something was different. You could just be content and say, wow, what a great adventure this was. What a great experience. Yeah, for sure. I hear that a lot as well. And I think that's why I'm also just so passionate about just helping people to take that leap of just being themselves, you know, because I really truly believe that when you are yourself authentically, that is when you attract everything that is right for you. Because if I had not taken that leap, maybe I would have not started to study A Course in Miracles. I would have not been sitting here with you. I would have not been going to Utah soon. Oh my God. It's just, you have to dare to show your true heart because people don't know it if you're not brave enough to really show it to the world, you know? Yeah. And yeah, I also really hope that people know that it's so worth it because once you are over that fear, yeah, there's so much freedom, but also the fear kind of goes away in a bit because you have already done it. You already are doing things and people will keep thinking things about you and your choices and whatever, but it's like once you pass that fear, it's like it's gone. It's like a veil that just goes away and you're just like, oh, I actually don't care what people think anymore. And there's so much peace. And it's just like, whoa, it was all a, yeah, a dream. It was all, it's not real. It's all in here. It doesn't exist. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I sometimes think that that's what this whole world is, is just an opportunity to see how authentic and transparent we can be. And then when we do fully go into that, then naturally we feel happier because we're more just aligned than we're in harmony. And then we draw to us the people, the situations, the things that kind of help us, I think shine our light even more, than we even imagined was possible. There's a big collaboration, but I think that's kind of the quantum way of looking at the world, that everything's a reflection of your mind. And when you get clear and clearer in what you really want from your life, you start living this peaceful, loving, harmonious state of mind, then you just draw witnesses all over the place and you draw it to you. And it's like, what you give is what you receive, like the law of karma. It comes back, except it's more like John Lennon wrote a song called Instant Karma. It doesn't have to be this long, long timeline that plays out over many, many years. It can be instant karma. I love, that's one of my favorite songs from John Lennon, Instant Karma. Yeah, I haven't heard that one. I should listen. Yeah, yeah. Why in the world are we here? You don't have to live in pain and fear. And why on earth are you there when you're everywhere gonna get your share and we all shine on like the sun and the moon and the stars, it's a beautiful song. It's one of my favorite Lennon songs because it just, woo, I felt my hardcore is vibrating when I was listening to it because it has so much excitement and instant karma. Instant karma is gonna get you. It's gonna knock you off your feet. It's really saying how the spirit works. When we really make contact with it, then things start to move pretty swiftly, it seems. Yeah, it's so interesting. That's also what I've experienced here in Bali that things are moving so fast, it's crazy. And I thought I would stay here for many years and now I'm going to the US and I don't know what will happen after that, I'm just trying to be open. Yeah. And I also, I felt very strongly that, yeah, they wanted me to go to Bali. But now I'm also feeling like, maybe that was because when I'm here, it's easier to take me, for example, to US and meet these people and meet these people. Then, for example, being in Denmark and just living life how I always used to live it. So it's really about trusting those steps and being open that path is changing all the time because you were changing and doors will open that you never knew was there. Yeah, never imagined. Yeah, like never even could dream about it. It's, yeah, it just happens when we surrender and when we follow our heart. And I think that deep down, we really know all the answers if we really are still. And yeah, especially if there's a dream or something that keeps coming back, you know, I think it's very much from a soul level. The soul is like, we want you to have this experience or yeah, something that wants to be manifested through us, you know? Yeah, yeah. All we have to do is stay tuned in and it seems to come through us. So you moved from Copenhagen, the ideal life, ideal apartment and then you moved to Bali and then so you met some new friends and I know I've been to Bali, the Balinese people, the softness, the sweetness, the faith. I think they have like a deep trust and faith in the way they live their lives. That's what struck me when I first went to a supermarket and they gave me the change and then they bowed and did the Namaste at the supermarket checkout line. I was like, whoa, this is really great. Yeah, they have a very strong faith here, very strong. And they also believe in karma. So I feel very safe here in Bali. It's very, very safe place. And yeah, it's just the most amazing people. And I also, it's interesting because many people who come to Bali say that either it's very blissful or they feel like they are in hell. And people say there's a story of Mama Bali, she gives you what you need and that can be both of the whole circle of life, you know. And I've really experienced that as well. Like for me it's either been just like, oh my God, I'm in heaven now. I'm just eating my dinner and I'm crying because I'm feeling so much love but I've also felt the deepest, deepest emotional pain and feeling like the island wants me to heal something or look at this thing you didn't want to look at. So everything is just like this here on this island. It's so interesting. Many people say it, they have this experience. Yeah, it's interesting because on my journey I was guided to move and start up a center, actually a couple of centers that we had in Hawaii on the big island. And on the islands of Hawaii, the big island is the newest island and they would talk about the Kali energy and it did feel that way was a swiftly moving energy. And they said when people come to visit, they'll either react one way where they feel their heart opening and this is the greatest experience ever or they just want to get away as quickly as possible. And the locals would say, yeah, don't buy a house until you're really sure you want to be here because you'll regret it if you buy a house and then you have these huge reactions. But I felt like it's the newest of all the islands and so they had live volcanic, they had 1500 degree lava flowing not too far from my center, but that just dropped in. I had strong signs. I was here at the monastery here in Utah and I was with a friend of mine, Francis and we were going to go do a retreat over in Hawaii and we came up to the top of the main highway as above the monastery and we were waiting to turn on to Highway 40 and we watched a car go by and both of us as we turned on, we saw the license plate of the car in front of us. It said, Hawaii. We said, what's the chances of seeing a Hawaii license plate in the middle of rural Utah, way away from the main cities and everything. We said, that's a sign. Then we went back and there were more signs. Somebody was saying, oh, we're so happy you're coming. There's a house you must see that's right on the ocean. And we thought, okay. And more signs when we went there, you must go see it. And when I went to this house that people were all pointing me in the direction of, it was on a road called the red road which the locals call the road to enlightenment. I said, there's a house on the ocean and on the road to enlightenment and I'm here. And they said, go in. And so I went in and there was a Course in Miracles book. Inside, that's the first time I've ever been pointed to a property and they said, oh yeah, the woman who's selling the house is into the course and there's a spiritual community where I'd been doing the retreat. It was like eight-tenths of a mile from the house. It was this a big yoga center called. And so I went in there and then Francis and I, we were doing the retreat. And she looked at me when we went into the house, we saw the Course book, Francis looked at me and she said, I think we're supposed to buy this house. And I said, yeah, right. The house on the ocean, that would be nice. You know, talk about your ideal apartment. Well, yeah, that would be like a dream. And by the time we were getting ready to leave, we were in touch with a real estate agent and somebody made a donation to us, to our nonprofit organization for the exact amount of the asking price of the house. So we both, we just, this has happened to me in different ways, a lot of things. And I said, I guess we're gonna be living in Hawaii. And we both were just like totally stunned. It's one thing to go there to do like a week retreat or two weeks, but to have a house on the ocean. You can hear the waves crashing in from the house. Oh my gosh. That's close. So there's been a lot of those experiences over the years, which just showed me, wow, I just have to be intuitive and just stay open and let the universe, let the spirit all just orchestrate everything. And I call them miracles because they seem to be so out of control. There's no person controlling these things. They're just being orchestrated in a way to build deeper faith and deeper trust. So it's exciting. You know, I could see where that move to Bali has really served you very well. Yeah. And just you sharing that story, it's such a, yeah, it just makes my heart warm because hearing about it and just those synchronicities, it's just, oh, you just know that we're just surrounded by so much support and love and yeah, it's just so beautiful. I love when I experienced that with synchronicities and it gives so much faith as well. For me as well right now with the whole going to US and also leaving Bali and I love Bali so much and kind of in my head, this is the right thing. And it just, it's so comforting that you are able to just kind of surrender and you can ask for signs or just taking a pause and just listen and just knowing that they know what is best for us. So we don't have to figure everything out, you know? We just follow our heart. We're just following that. Like it's kind of when you're a kid and you're looking for something, those games like Easter time, looking for those Easter eggs or getting those little clues, you know? It's really funny and I just love it. Yeah. That's it. It's kind of relaxing too. Cause I think that's probably the, one of the most intense experiences that human beings go through is what do you want to be when you grow up and what are you hoping for in five years or 10 years? And that's pretty standard thinking and we'll say like in Western nations and Western way of thinking, very future oriented. What do you want to life to be like? And this is more of like an openness to just saying, well, maybe I don't as a person know my own best interest but maybe there is a higher self, a spirit that does know what's best for me in my unfoldment towards peace of mind and towards joy and harmony. And I just have to stay open to the signs and symbols and then they show up. And then when they show up, it's delightful. Usually with a lot of synchronicities and things that, you know, you can't miss it. Like, you know, too strong to be a coincidence, you know? When it happened again and again and again. For sure. Yeah, and it's so interesting because when I came to Bali, I did actually have a lot of goals when I came here. And yeah, I've always felt like I was gonna be an entrepreneur and I did want something where I could help people. But it was a very, in a very stressful way, kind of like in a fast pace, I want this now. And then that was when the course found me. I got the course, actually here in Bali, I booked it on some Indonesian page. It's actually funny, I have it right here. I got a shock when I got it because this is the book. But I have two of these. And yeah, it's very bad, it's not good quality. And I have two of these and I thought, why did they give me two course and miracles? But it's because the pages are more thick. So it's like the text and then the workbook, so I have, yeah, it's quite funny. Anyway, but yeah, that was when the course found me. And I started to read the text and I didn't really know like how to do this course and what the order, I just felt drawn to, okay, let me just start to read it and read the text. And immediately I just started to feel this shift and I was just reading every day outside my balcony and oh my God, I just felt the truth of it. And I've never been using the word Jesus as God. I try to be very open about just the universe. I get triggered by some words, but I just felt like this is the truth and this is Jesus speaking to me. And I started to pray and to talk with Jesus and asking him for help. And he did help me very fast. He always came through. And then I just experienced this deep, deep peace. I just came just reading the text. I just felt so peaceful and all my goals fell away. And it was like, oh my God, I don't want anything. Is that normal? Kind of like, what is happening with me? And I talked with my friends and they were like, don't worry, it will come back. Like you will get well again, because that's how other people see it. Don't be scared, you will have your goals back. And I was like, no, it's actually quite nice. I've not had this feeling before. I always want something, but I just felt this peace. And I had a business coach at that time that really wanted me to do certain things and let's do this. But I just kept saying like, actually right now, I feel, I'm not feeling motivated. I cannot describe this feeling to you, but I just, I'm not feeling it. That was also a time where I really had to be true to myself because there was a lot of pressure on me that and everybody, how's it going with your business? And all this energy and, but I was just really, really feeling strongly that I just needed to be, just be here and have this spiritual experience and just listen to the guidance. And that was just telling me to just read the course, just sit and read and drink coffee, look at the sky. And that was it. And it was so amazing. I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with people that have told me the same thing over their life. They had all these goals, all these plans and then they found themselves, the course found them or they found the course and then suddenly they were just, they couldn't put it down basically. That some of them, they didn't necessarily read it chronologically. I didn't even, I used it kind of more as an oracle. I was just drawn to certain parts spontaneously more than others. And then I just got more interested, more into it when that happened. But I didn't, I'd already been in university for 10 years and done all those linear things, courses from beginning to middle to end and read books from beginning to middle to end. I've done all that. So it was almost like now this feels more free, more spontaneous. I like it this way. So I love the stories. I love to hear how people come upon it that way. Yeah. It's kind of like you were told, I feel how to read it in a sense. Because when I have days where I just feel like this feeling, just open the book today and then I open it and then it says something like a new chapter. And I was like, whoa, this is exactly what I needed today. Or this was what I was thinking yesterday. Just today I was sending a prayer yesterday and then I opened the course today and it was like how to pray or something like that. I think that was lovely. And so to pray and I was like, oh my God. Of course, it happens every time, you know. Every time, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's so funny. So you, and then once you started to feel the inner prompting to come over here to Utah to the Living Miracles Monastery and then maybe on down to Mexico to the center down there in La Casa de Milagros. So you started to talk to friends or talk to your Balinese friends a little bit and feel of what you should do. But then another loop came that was kind of a little surprising at the time. Although it seems like it comes to us and then we're like, we kept trusting. It's like, what can you do but present trust, you know? But maybe you could share a little bit about that. Oh, is it what happened just now or my experience after I said yes to come? Yeah, maybe both. After you said yes to come, what happened next day after that? Yeah, it was very interesting because first I felt this deep, deep, deep intense love. Like very intense. Kind of like, I don't think I've experienced it except one time where I tried a psychedelic experience, a plant medicine ceremony. So I felt this like really like, whoa, can I feel this like sober? This is really beautiful. And then, and it felt so right in my heart. And then right after I just went into one of the worst dark nights of the soul I've ever had. And I was just, many of the friends I had in Bali, they have left. So I was very, very alone. I had two weeks where I didn't see anybody other than maybe the Balinese family talking just hi, how are you? So very alone. And I was just crying every day. I was in the dark every day. I was doubting everything. Why am I here? What is the meaning to it? Feeling like almost I don't wanna live any longer. I don't, yeah, it was like fighting with the ego, I think. And very much a process of letting go, letting go, letting go. Also grieving a sense all the desires I've had and the goals that I didn't have accomplished and what if I will forever be alone? What if I will never find love? And will life even be worth living? If I'm alone all my life? Like all of my fears and doubts. And then, but this time I just chose to allow the darkness to come so that I could kind of release it. But I was also okay if it wasn't released, if that makes sense. It was like completely surrender. Kind of like, maybe I will never be happy again and maybe I will die. That's okay because I'm so sad I cannot fight it. It's just how it is right now. But then, now I'm okay. And the bliss always comes back and the gratitude. So I think it was just very much a process of letting even more go of the world and not being afraid of the darkness. Kind of like a new way of waking up where I'm okay with both the bliss and the pain. Like everything is just okay, I think. And then the day that I was going to Utah, I got a really, really bad food poisoning. And yeah, I was like, okay, let me talk to God. What should I do? Because I was so sick, it was coming out of both ends. Just to be honest, it was really bad. But I was like, oh my God, I need to go. And what should I do? And I was also kind of like giving it up, like I need help. Please make it clear to me if I should go or not. I'm feeling so sick. And then I ended up in the hospital. So it was a very clear, you cannot go. And yeah, but then now I'm okay. And I feel like there was just something with the timing because it was beautiful because I received so much love. My Balinese family was there for me. I got to connect even deeper with them, feeling even more love. I love them so much, but just even more like, oh, so much love. And now I got to see my friend again. I'm staying with her right now. So it's kind of like, I think God, the universe wanted me to have a more, a better saying goodbye to Bali for now because it has been such a beautiful experience for me here. But I just came out of that deep depression. So if I left Tuesday, I would leave with the kind of like, ugh, let me go get out of here feeling. When now I'm back to the, oh, I love this place so much. I feel the love, you know? So I think it's all, it's not a bad thing. It is just what it is. It's okay. Interesting experience for sure. Yeah. That's amazing that you would describe it that way too. Cause I think even if you talk to people who have gone through very helpful, loving relationships and then it ended kind of abruptly, it's not a great feeling. I mean, if everybody was given the choice, if you could, if you could part in a sense of gratitude and full appreciation where everything could be fully expressed, most people would say, yeah, I'll take that. If that's an option, because many people have gone through kind of swift and traumatic movements, we'll call them because it's, I don't think we ever really break up. It's, we're just finding ourselves and learning to meet ourselves wherever we go. So it's not really like there's a real breakups, but, but it feels that way. And it also can feel very abrupt. Like you're, like hold out of something or ripped out of something. And then you're, it takes a while to just adapt and adjust. When you've gone through that, because there's some kind of like a trauma. With it. I love that. That's a beautiful interpretation of this. Cause you did have such a deep love and gratitude with your, well, and these family there. And now it's like, it's blooming. The flowers are opening and you're going into full bloom before you, you move from that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm actually, grateful for that because it, Bali has really given me the biggest hug. And I, I didn't know that I came here to heal. I had no idea. I thought I came here to, of course I wanted a peaceful life, but I also came with goals and like we talked about. And then I feel like Bali gave me something completely different. Like they had other plans. Like, you know, Emily, you came here to heal. And, and that was why I both experienced the bliss and the deep, deep pain. And also a lot of fighting with the egos, with the ego. And I still sometimes very rare, but I can still wake up in the night and feel like something is wrong. What are you doing? So I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still in the process of letting go even more. Of the people, please. Who are like, you left your family. They miss you so much. What if something goes wrong? There's still a little fear that creeps in. You cannot be too happy, Emily. You cannot just fully relax, like, be like you have to be ready for something. you know, so that is the last piece for me to really be like, yeah, fully resting. And yeah, yeah, you're aware of that, though, because I think many people can relate to that. Yeah, always watch out or always be on guard for something. And it's kind of a defensive way to live if you're on guard. But but most everybody would relate to, yeah, you need to have experiences, you need to have lots of faith building experiences or miracles, as the course would call them, you need lots of miracles to to be ready to fully open. And then in the manual for teachers, it's got 10 characteristics of a teacher of God, starting with trust. And then the number 10 is open mindedness. I find is, ah, that's where you can relax. And there's no trying to convince anybody of anything. There's no, this is right or wrong, no comparing this versus that, just like a total acceptance, where you trust that everything's working together for the good, and you're just happy to celebrate with everybody and rejoice in that open state of mind. So what a gift to on as far as earth, you know, to find an open minded soul. That is like gotta be the greatest gift there is, because you could feel the love and acceptance, regardless of what goes on, you don't feel like there's conditions like your love isn't conditional. And it's huge. It's just such a huge experience. But we have to be ready for it. Otherwise it's, oh, I'm still even with the love. Yeah. That's exciting. Well, I think I know I'm looking forward to seeing you when you make it to Utah. And so we'll just see, we'll just stay open to these miracles happening of exactly how things are to unfold. I always say the spirit is the how. So the old way was we had to be responsible for figuring out the how. And the new way is intuitive. It's more just be ready to accept the how when it shows itself. So it's a very different way of going about the living. Yeah, it's just more peaceful. And yeah, it's just beautiful. Well, thank you so much. This is the first, this is my very first kind of zoom interview or interaction like this. Usually I go to studios, people just are taking care of all these things, the tech. And so we pop on and we got into the same zoom. And then I looked down and I said, Oh, there's the record thing. So I thought that's fantastic. And then and now I can even see the button to get us started and stop. And then yeah, it's a new experience for me. It's part of my learning curve. Yeah, it was so much fun. Very good. Well, I'll conclude our recording here. And then I'll have to figure out how to what to do with it. But that's the next step. Oh, I trust that'll be yeah. Thank you. Thank you so