 Okay, so first Timothy chapter 6 verse 20 Oh Timothy God what was committed to your trust avoiding the profane and idle babblings and contradictions of what is falsely called knowledge by professing it some have strayed concerning the faith grace be with you. Amen. So Timothy has been encouraged exorted by Paul and he's saying God. What was committed to your trust. So several things. Paul reminds him about the gifts. Paul reminds him about you know about stirring up the gifts not neglecting it about the call and all that and several things we can add saying okay the revelation the dreams whatever was committed to us to our trust because and Paul is saying God. So the reason that he's saying God is that there is a very real possibility of whatever was committed could be stolen. Take it away right either by deception or by intimidation because John 1010 the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. So we know that the enemy is a defeated for and the only way the stealing killing and destroying can happen is by deception by lies maybe by discouragement or the permission or we ourselves opening the door intentionally. And giving legal ground for that to happen right so like Paul writes in Galatians and he tells it really was if I build those things that that were destroyed I make myself a transgressor. He's talking about the legal legalistic aspect of adding to salvation adding to the work of faith you know with man made rules etc. What God never intended so so so we see that just one second sorry it's not it's on okay it's okay I think it's sorry about that. So yeah so so the real possibility of something being stolen if you're not careful. So Paul is saying God if you look at the end of you know or right through the episode also he says you know be careful hold fast. Second Timothy also says same thing chapter third sorry chapter one verse 13 hold fast to those things etc. So alerting Timothy to the possibility of things that have been committed being taken away right so it's valid for us today. We look in look at our lives and then see you know that revelation that teaching that understanding that I had about certain things it's not so strong as it used to be. You know if you if you recollect and say okay you know I used to believe so strongly but now it's it's a little it's a little shaky now. Or you know I used to have this passionate desire to do this and you know but now it's a little I don't know it's a little laid back. So it's the same exhortation is valid for us today God what was permitted to your trust you know it could be the ministry the church the people. You know God what be alert and God right so let's pray Father we thank you Lord we thank you for this exhortation Lord. Do you want us to step up and be alert be discerning and God what you have committed to our trust. Father we thank you for the things that you've released in our lives Lord the call the gifts the grace and master we pray that we'll be careful to nurture and not neglect God. We pray that we'll be careful to not pursue it God intentionally pursue these things intentionally Father God and not draw weary of doing good. Master and not be discouraged by things that we see around us but Lord may our focus on be on you may our years hear what the spirit of God is saying. May our hearing be so tuned to you God. May our hearing be sharp in the spirit maybe be sharp in the spirit and not go dull or jaded or blunt in any way God. But Lord we pray that we'll pursue the things that accord with godliness and thereby fulfilled the plans and purposes that you have for us God. We thank you in Jesus name we pray amen amen amen. Okay so just one second. Is this interfering with the audio? Okay let's look at chapter 12 right we've been looking at chapter 11 about group thing. Sorry not group thing group decision making right. So today we look at emotional and cultural intelligence. Okay. We're sharing the screen with you. Okay so when we look at the term quotient it means a measure right the amount of a particular quality. So I'm sure you've heard the word being used IQ or intelligence quotient and EQ emotional quotient and so on. Okay so what is this this emotional intelligence all about or emotional quotient all about it's a it's a measure of people's abilities to recognize and manage their emotions. Okay regulate their emotions to you know manage in the sense to beneficially mutually beneficially manage their emotions for the common good right. So it could mean you know even guide others the emotions of other people right and so on. So the first thing is to recognize and the second one is to to regulate or manage. Okay now yes it is true that when this measure or this ability to recognize and regulate our emotions if that ability is higher or that ability is there in a person. That person finds it easier to you know form relationships either one on one or a group to be part of a group even and to you know socialize and so on. And when we say it's not just social gatherings we're talking about it's also about functional groups like teams organizations and so on. Okay so so where does this whole thing come from it comes from the study of human behavior right it start comes from study of how effectively people function as individuals and groups and so it's a it's a very practical thing right that when this ability is there about managing one's emotions. We see that yes there is the ability to function well and well we have as believers we have the Holy Spirit in us to help us to develop these things in us right. Efficiency sorry Galatians 5 verse 22 23 the fruit of the spirit love joy peace long suffering kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self control excuse me so these are all attributes. But we see that there are some emotions as well like joy peace right and self control or self governing ability which is something that the Holy Spirit desires to bring and develop in us as individuals so that's a good that's a good thing right. So the fruit of the Holy Spirit is to build that to do and why does he do that why is there you know why does the Holy Spirit desire to bring about these attributes in us love joy peace right why. It is so that we might walk in the spirit right that we might not fulfill the desires of the flesh that we might be a channel of his blessing like instrument of righteousness a vessel of honor all these things follow right. So practically speaking whether it's in a church whether it's an office organization to have this self governing ability to have this emotional intelligence. I'm not saying self governing ability is equal to emotional intelligence but to have this ability in us and to grow this develop it is a important important thing. So let's look at some of these elements of emotional intelligence. So Daniel Goldman he human behavior you know personal studies that and author and so on he's divided emotional intelligence into personal and social abilities or social skills like something that I need to know personally and something that I can I can apply it while relating to others personal and social skills. When you look at personal skills three things that we can look at self awareness self regulation self motivation self awareness self regulation self motivation. So what does self awareness means to be emotionally aware of what I'm going through what am I feeling like if you look at a child like recently you know. Like my nephew growing up and he would throw tantrums because he was not aware of what was going through right. Maybe four years old maybe even younger at that stage I remember he would be hungry but he wouldn't he wasn't aware that it was the hunger which was causing causing all this frustration or he'd be sleepy. And it was causing a lot of frustration for him. And so he would throw up a tantrum like behave badly, cry, you know, disobey, etc. All those things and then babies do that babies are not able to communicate what they're feeling emotionally and they throw up all tantrums. And as they grow up as they become aware of these things happening in them they're able to process it differently. So emotional awareness sometimes we grow up physically but emotionally we are not really aware of those things going on in our lives. Maybe we grow up we get up and we're in a bad mood. Does it happen only to me or does it happen to others also? Obviously, you know we get up and we're in a bad mood for no reason, right? So what do we do, right? Am I going to just spend the whole day just shouting at people or going out with a frown in my face? Or am I going to reflect and think, hey, something's not right? Why did I wake up this way? I need to change, I need to focus on things that are good, focus on the future. Maybe I had a bad dream, maybe I had some bad thoughts waking up. Oh, it's just a physiological thing, right? Just wake up, maybe there's a cough or cold, whatever and you're not your best self. Be aware, emotionally aware. Being emotionally aware is also understanding our emotions. Understanding this is what I'm feeling right now and I can't just go with the flow. I'm feeling fear maybe, I'm feeling anger, I'm feeling irritation. Knowing, first of all, being aware of it, right? I'm feeling this thing rising up, this anger rising up, maybe aware of it. Take a deep breath, count to 100 if you need to, right? And not make any hasty judgments, decisions, right? So, emotional awareness. Second thing is accurate self-assessment, right? So when we assess ourselves, assess our feelings, assess our emotions accurately, right? Not in a biased manner, right? So our actions will follow through, right? So you just, for example, you know, some people are, you know, I'm also guilty of that, right? You're feeling emotionally low and you want to feel good, so you do something, right? You just maybe eat something. You're not hungry, it's not that you're hungry, but you're emotionally feeling low and you want to feel good. So eat some things that you don't, you know, maybe eat an ice cream, maybe eat some chocolates, maybe eat some junk food, you know? And it's not like you are hungry, but you eat, it's an emotional eating, right? And it's a wrong assessment of our self. It's not an accurate self-assessment. And because of which, since it's not an accurate, it's fine, okay? And since it's not an accurate assessment, our action is also not in line, right? So effective self-assessment is important and also to motivate oneself, right? Okay, the second thing, to motivate oneself out of that, right? Second thing is self-regulation, okay? So self-regulation is how do I, now, this is how I'm feeling self-awareness. You're aware of it, okay? So self-regulation is now what do I do about it, right? What do I do about it? These are, each of us can have some personal strategies and this is very simple. In the scriptures, it talks about walk in the spirit, okay? And you know, we know it's a process, we know it's a relationship. But practically, how do we do that? How do we regulate our self? How do we manage our emotions, our abilities, our impulses and so on? Okay, so this whole thing of self-control, right? Self-control doesn't mean that I pretend that something, some pain is not there. Or I pretend that I'm not hurt. Or I pretend that I'm not irritated. I pretend that I'm disappointed. No, self-control is not stuffing those emotions or just putting them away. But to actually recognize it and be truthful and say, yes, this is how I'm feeling, right? So that's the thing, unless I recognize and accept, right, this is how I'm feeling. How do I go beyond that? And we can't pick something or we can't address something that we say, I don't have, right? So if there's anger, if there's disappointment, then we can at least work on it and say, okay, this is how I'm feeling. But this is what I will do now. I will not give vent to it, which will result in consequences which are unrighteous. But how do I, at this place, now how do I work on it? Okay, so self-control. So knowing that I should not take some decisions now, right now. So I'm feeling angry. I'm feeling upset. Now is not the right time to make some very important decisions, right? Or decisions regarding that situation. This person has done this. They said that they'll be there. They are not there. I need to decide something about, you know, maybe some requests that has come from that person. And, you know, all this is there piled up. So in my emotions, I'm feeling that maybe I should not deal fairly, right, tempted. So that is not the time to make a decision because we will react or respond in a way not proportional to that particular problem. Our response will be not proportional, disproportionate. I'm sure many times we have faced that problem where, you know, somebody said something and we reacted to them in anger. And they are like stunned, you know, why? Why are you, why do you need to do this? It's not such a big thing. And the way it has happened is it's because, you know, it was, it's been piling up maybe. Or, you know, it has not been dealt with, right? It has not been addressed. And therefore, that final thing, that small thing which they said or did really cost us to explode, right? Explode. So disproportionate response or reaction. Okay, so to really have that sense of self-governing ability. So again, just one great self-governing ability to be, you know, not be stressed and to be cool, etc. It's not that we don't address or agree that we are feeling these emotions, right? We are not giving vent to those emotions. We are acting in line with those emotions. We deal with it, right? And we have, as believers, we have the resources of God's Word and the Holy Spirit who's always with us. So we are placed in a far better way, in a better manner, in a better place to deal with these things, right? Okay, then trustworthiness. Okay, trustworthiness. We are talking about, again, self-regulation. Trustworthiness is our ability to maintain our integrity and truth, our values irrespective of the environment, okay? So the question is to ask, you know, reflect and ask, you know, can I trust myself, right? And can I trust myself in these situations? Can I trust myself to stand in for me, to be my substitute? Just think of that, right? Can I trust myself to do that? Can I trust myself to be there, to help out, to just step out and say, okay, can I trust myself to do it? Trustworthiness, right? In all situations, in all environments, our ability to be steadfast, ability to maintain biblical values and integrity and so on, right? So that also is another aspect of self-regulation, right? Now, that is something, again, we know it comes with building strength, right? It comes with knowing the truth and it comes from a part of obedience, right? Where we follow through, no matter what, right? It comes from a place of obedience. The third aspect of it is conscientiousness, which means to take responsibility for ourselves, right? To take responsibility, to own, to take responsibility meaning to own certain things. I own this act. I take ownership of my own behavior and speech and action and so on, taking ownership for it, being accountable. So if I'm not taking ownership or responsibility, then I might behave in a certain way, right? So, for example, how does it practically work out, you know, in terms of our commitments, right? We tell people, I'll do this, I'll be there, I'll give this, right? Keeping our commitment and our promise, right? If you are not able to communicate that or to communicate upfront that there's been a change in the commitment, right? So that is taking ownership. So it all boils down to or it all links up to emotional intelligence to have that ability to regulate. The thing is keeping commitments, for example, you know, there might be many reasons why we are not able to, right? And it's all valid reasons probably, very valid. We've done our best, tried our best, whatever, and very valid reasons why we are not able to keep up some commitment. So, or our promise, you know, and it can be a work situation, being able to deliver, etc. So how do we handle that? That is the most emotional, sorry, intelligence, right? How do we handle that? Do we communicate in advance? Do we preempt, right? It all links to emotional intelligence rather than arriving at that point of, you know, the commitment not being honored and being questioned and being defensive, right? So somebody, you know, in a typical work situation, somebody would ask, right? Whomever you are accountable to, who was your overseer boss will ask, why was this not done, right? When we cross over or we cross the deadline and why was this not done? You were told to do it, you said you will do it. This is understanding that you would do this by this time. So why was this not done, right? So the thing is that maybe we forgot completely, right? It's possibility. You had so many things. 10 things to do. This one thing, this ninth thing completely missed, right? So the thing is to communicate that and not get defensive and say, no, I never knew, right? Because when you get defensive and we're not self-regulating, you know, this whole thing of integrity and ethics, we want to defend ourselves. I never knew that. You never told me that, right? So we are being, not people of integrity, right? Or blaming, saying, okay, that person did this. They're therefore delayed and so on, right? So consensuousness, right? Keeping commitments, taking responsibility, et cetera, right? This helps to self-regulate, yeah. Just moving down to being flexible to adapt to circumstances. You know, the thing is that nothing is very idealistic or ideal, right? There's no ideal circumstance. We plan some things and there's always some unknown factors in it, right? We plan according to what we know, but when it comes to implementation of the plan, right? When we come to actually do carry out the plan, whether it's in ministry, whether it's in work situations, we know that there are certain unforeseen factors, unknown factors that affect the working out of that plan, right? Implementation of it. So how quickly can we adapt to it? So this adaptability, rather than saying, oh, this is what it is. I expected it to be all good and that's it. I'm packing, I'm going back. Now that is not emotional intelligence, right? So a person without or low levels of emotional intelligence would respond in that manner, saying that this is what I expected and therefore now I'm just not going to be flexible, whatever. So being flexible, adapting to change in the area of maybe our time. Prioritizing time and making some changes, scheduling things, etc. Use of our resources, right? So all this would happen and we need to have that ability. I'm not saying that we need to be flexible to the point where we compromise on everything we stand for, right? So there are certain things that we cannot compromise on, right? There are non-compromising set of standards, values, whatever. We will not compromise on. So those are set in stone, right? Integrity, you know, what values to be stand for, not compromising on truth, etc. But when it comes to adapting to certain situations or being creative, and that's the next thing, you know, innovation. How quickly can we adapt to new ideas? How flexible are we to adapt to new ideas and changes? Changes in the environment, right? Changes in the marketplace, changes in the way we do ministry, etc. You know, I think this whole pandemic taught us some important lessons, right? And the way we look at technology and the way it's really changing the phase of how we do things, right? If we were to get stuck and be, you know, be very, very, what's the word? Yeah, not willing to change, you know, not willing to adapt, not willing to change. Then we will become obsolete, right? Not very useful, not very relevant. Again, I just wanted to say that, you know, we're not talking about compromising on standards, compromising on truth, okay? Compromising on the message, especially when we talk about ministry, we're not talking about that at all, right? But adapting to the environment, adapting to the way technology is used and so on, right? For example, so those are things that we need to be flexible about, right? Innovation, etc. So this whole argument of this is the way we did things and this is how we will continue to do is a dangerous one. So we need to kind of explore and see, okay, is there any new way of doing things? Well, does it change our core values? Does it change the truth of what we're doing? Are we making any compromises there? Are we diluting, right? The message of what we are communicating, if not, we can actually do that, right? So self-regulation, very important. The third aspect of it is, third element is self-motivation, okay? So we're looking at personal skills, right? So self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation. So self-motivation would be to not really, you know, of course, we are a community. We are the body of Christ and the Lord does use others, like we see in 1 Corinthians 12, to admit in such a way that there are others who bring strength to us even as we bring strength to others. Excuse me, even as we bring strength to others, minister to others, right? But if our reliance is solely on others to carry out whatever we need to do, like we might go through a season of that, right? Maybe we are hurt, maybe we are damaged, maybe we are, you know, we have gone through certain things and we need to rest, recover, be restored to a place of strength. That's fine. But if our whole life we are solely dependent, reliant, heavily dependent on others to tell us what is to be done, to cheer us on every day, just like how we would, you know, it's children, right? Wow, you finished your dosa, you finished your, there's only one bit left. The answer is only one bit left. Come on, let's do it. If it, that's, you know, that's at a certain stage is fine. But if that's going to be the thing throughout, right? Then there's a problem, right? So we need to motivate ourselves. So that's a sign of emotional intelligence where we say, OK, I need to plant things out. I need to set the alarm. I need to get up. I need to plan. I need to self-govern and not really depend on others all the time. OK, so it might involve improving oneself, achieving things, goals, personal goals, corporate goals, commitment to it and so on, right? Toughness in facing situations. So we looked at three things, right? Self-awareness, self-regulation and self-motivation. OK, so three elements very important for our personal lives. So maybe when we, you know, even when we listen to it, we see, OK, I'm just, I'm not there fully there yet. OK, so it's a sign that we need to work on. OK, develop on and grow in that area. OK, so when it comes to social skills, it means involving others. You're not just by yourself anymore, but when interacting with people socially, here are some skills that we can look at. First one, being empathy. So empathy is an awareness of the needs and feelings of others. OK, maybe it's an individual or maybe it's a group of people, an awareness of that, of the needs of others, awareness of the feelings of others. OK, so do we have that ability, OK, that awareness that people could be. Let's say, you know, you're arranging a meeting and you know, the content to you is so exciting and that you want to just go on and on and on. But, you know, if there's no empathy about what the others could be going through. OK, well, they need a break to refresh. They need a break. Maybe they need to use the washrooms. They need to have a drink of water. They need to have something, some nourishment, right? So if we are not empathetic about that, if you are not even aware of that, you know, this could be a very genuine thing. We'd be like, you know, I don't feel that. So why should they, you know, sometimes we do that, you know, I'm strong. I can just go on, but we need to be empathetic towards the needs of others, towards what they are feeling, right? So and, you know, some of us could be sensitive to the social cues of people, you know, to the cues of people. Maybe people are getting restless. That's a cue. And if you are empathetic, we pick up that cue. Maybe people are feeling, you know, not with it. They're not tracking. They're not following. That's a cue, right? So these are important aspects for us to develop. It's a skill that we need to develop, right? Especially as, you know, special, maybe special leaders, we need to have that ability of being empathetic, being able to be aware. And I've heard of people saying, you know, I honestly don't know. I don't have that skill, you know, and it's a, and it's sometimes it's a medical condition also, right? There are some, some syndromes and certain symptoms. Because of which the way the brain is wired and so on. And so they don't pick up those social cues. They don't pick up the thing that this person is irritated or this person is hurt by what I'm saying. They don't, they don't pick up. They don't read emotions, right? That's one extreme case. You know, why and they, they're making a joke and it's about someone and they're feeling hurt. And then this person feels that I'm, I'm, I'm actually saying something funny. Why are they not laughing, right? So they're not picking up those cues, right? So understanding others, having a mindset to serve, to help out, right? You see a situation where everybody's doing something and they're all chipping in and but you feel that, okay, this is not my place. This is not my role. So I'm not going to do that, right? I'm not going to serve. You don't want to help and so on, right? So be able to understand others in simple terms, right? Okay. How can I practically apply this? We looked at that, you know, the listening part. We looked at various ways by which we can listen actively, right? Nonverbal message, what are the gestures? Listen actively, not passively, you know, not just the words that people are communicating, but how they communicate, right? Are we, are you listening? Are you aware of the tone in which they are using, right? And there are a lot of jokes, right? About husband and wife communication, where the husband goes and asks the wife, hey, can I, can I go and, you know, play football with the guys or watch football? What's the match with the guys today? You know, and the wife says, yeah, sure, go, go. Hey, that's the tone. Yeah, go. And the husband is like, wow, thank you, he's going. But the wife actually is very upset, right? So she didn't, and she showed it in her tone, but the words said, go. And the husband comes back, the wife is very upset. So husband asks, why, what's the problem? Nothing, nothing's the problem. Are you sure? Yeah. Are you sure everything's okay? Yeah, I'm fine. So the words are, everything's okay. The words are, I'm fine. But the tone says that it is not fine. It's absolutely, something is terribly wrong, right? So if one can pretend not to, you know, hear the tone and pretend everything's okay. But the fact is that something's wrong, right? So to be able to listen actively, what is the tone in which they're saying, communicating, and what are the words? What is the message that they're communicating? Is there a disconnect in both, in the tone and the message? Then there's something wrong, right? So to hone that skill of being able to read that. Okay. The other very practical thing is to use questions, right? Witheric questions, trying to understand, okay? I'm not getting it. Are you sure? Right? I'm not understanding this. Is there anything wrong? Is there anything that I should be knowing? Is everything okay? So use questions to find out, to draw out that other person. And because we are talking about other people, and it may be it's a group, right? So to understand, okay, is everyone okay with this? Is everyone okay going forward? Right? How does everyone feel about this? So, yeah. So we do that. Then what about times when we disagree? Okay. Now, yeah, I need to be empathetic. I need to understand. But what if I don't disagree? I don't agree, right? I know that for the place from which, you know, everyone is saying things, it's not our place of truth. It's not something that we should be pursuing. So, you know, I disagree completely. So we can disagree, right? But we don't have to disagree in a disrespectful manner. Right? We don't have to disagree and hurt the dignity of the other person. Okay? So that is something that we need to... We don't have to put down the person in our disagreement. We don't have to reject the person. We don't have to dishonor the person in our disagreement. We can disagree with the thought. We can disagree with what the person is saying, or the idea that they are sharing, without doing all of that, right? So that's something that we can... I think that is something that all of us, probably we need to learn, like to speak the truth in love. Right? That's what scripture says, speak the truth in love. So it's something that we need to grow. And there's always space for growth in this area. Right? Because our emotions, which is what we are talking about, our emotions do not permit us to do that. Right? Our emotions are so, so stirred up that we want to... Sorry. We want to give vent to our emotions. And in doing so, we want to cut down the person, dishonor the person, you know, and kind of, you know, whatever dignity is there. We don't want to tear it to shreds. Right? Okay. Other things that we can look at is... Are we... Questions we can ask. Am I a person easy to talk to? Am I approachable? Right? If you notice that people are hesitating, should I not... Why is it? Is it because I make fun of them? Is it because I explored? Is it because I start my statement with no? Right? Somebody comes in and says, can we know that am I an easy person to talk to? When they're talking, do I actually listen? Right? So these are things, right? Am I an easy person to talk to? Am I a good listener? Can people confide in me? Right? Can... You might be wondering, why is nobody sharing things and I want to help? Why are they not talking, you know, at the heart of it, I want to help? So these are questions to ask. Okay? So when we do these things, right? By being a good person, easy person to talk to, approachable, maybe good listeners, et cetera, we're not saying that we are people pleasing. Okay? That's a different thing altogether. Right? When it's people pleasing, it's like, hey, I want to say things you want to hear. I want to do things that you want, you know, you want to be done in order to make you feel good. Right? And in doing so, I want approval. My self-worth and everything depends on that. Right? I want approval. I want you... I want you to like me. I want you to, you know, irrespective of whatever it is, even if it means that there's a bending of truth or there is speaking of lies, untruth, flattery, I want to do that so that I get your approval. Now that is people pleasing. Right? So we're not talking about people pleasing. Okay? So the foundation is, you know, we're not compromising on that stand of truth and all that, but by being people who are approachable, easy to talk to, knowing that, yes, this person will speak the truth, but he'll speak it in love, not make fun. I can go to him or her and, you know, be heard. Right? Okay. So the second one is cultural intelligence. Okay, probably we'll look at it next class. It's a small topic where we're talking about culture and maybe we'll look at some practical examples of different cultures and how knowing that culture helps us to bridge certain gaps, helps us to function well, like knowing the culture, being able to even like minister across culturally and so on. Right? So we'll stop here and then we'll meet next class. Okay? We will also have our tests coming up this week. So it'll be for the online students. You can expect those questions to come up thing for in person. Of course, it'll be online all again. Online students, you'll have about three, four days to turn in your answers. If you're an e-learning student, you will have the end of term. That's the date for which you need to turn in your quiz answers. Okay. Thank you. God bless. See you.