 Why women belong in the kitchen? We can't be out in the civilisation. Never try, stay in the kitchen. F*** in the kitchen. Raise the kids in the kitchen. Julie Gillard was a Prime Minister and she failed because she's a woman. She should have stayed in the kitchen. Their job is to be in the kitchen. Nah, that's hectic shit. Dare you profit from her body? You profit from her body and it's not right. Yeah. Welcome to episode number nine of the Mighty and Michael fully actual podcast. We've got a jam-packed episode for you today, right? We've got the lying segment, the great debate makes a return. Bamboozled is back and we're all scared. We've got Crazy Prankle and there's a brand new segment that Matt knows nothing about that we're going to introduce a little bit later on. No. Don't forget the sponsors. Oh, man, we've got sponsors. We've got sponsors. We've got Dream Diaries back. Hang on. There isn't, there's something we can do. Well, no, you can't just start a segment and not tell me. Yep. And I will do a live, my live rendition jingle for it when we get to it. And James said, good luck. And he's like, for the podcast, I'm like, what do you know? And he knew something. So that's happening. There isn't anything. James did not know about this. He said, I'll be okay though. Yeah, it's fine. It's not physical. What have we been up to, man? Hey, we've been fucking training. We're five weeks out from this boxing fight. Been training hard and just pretty keen for it to be over, to be honest. It's hard training hard on top of normal life. Yeah, it's like, it's pain in the morning. It's like really painful training. Then pain during the day when we film here and then pain again at night. So it's just like a lot of pain. And there's no real, you can't really, we can't go and have a fucking few beers and shit on the weekend because we're off all that. There's no break. Yeah, there's nothing to really look forward to. There's nothing to live for. So you don't enjoy. There is nothing to live for, man. It's too much. Like I'm glad that it's healthy and shit. Like feeling fucking great. Feeling fucking great. But man, it's just like too much pain. It's not a sport that's like doesn't hurt that much either. It's not like table tennis, you know? Yeah. Like if we were doing a table tennis comp, I'd be like, okay, I would probably not train that much. Yeah, it's always in the back of your mind. Like, oh, you know, it's more, it plays in your mind more than you realize. Like you don't think you're thinking about it, but really there's always that feeling in the back of your mind that we could get knocked out, spark cold in front of 5,000 people. Yeah, it's a big crowd. And it's sort of, yeah, it's like the lingering potential of like we are all going to die one day, right, Brown? Yeah, soon. So quite soon. When and where and how is the question? If you could know, would you know? Pardon? Have you got like a, you know, people in fights, they call out how it's going to end? Like prediction, prediction. Do you have a prediction? And sorry, sorry to cut him before you make a prediction. It's two on two tag team, right? So if Michael walks in or you walk in first and you get unfortunately, you know, knocked out straight away, does Michael then have to step in? I don't know. And then find out. We've got to find out. I ain't got a prediction, but I've got our prediction points. We went on points, but we've got to learn the rules first because like what happens if we knock one of them out? Do we win automatically? Yeah, does that automatically you step out or do you stay in and his partner has to take another? Yeah, that's why there's two. The second dude has to back it up then. Ha! So you could say if like I got knocked out early, you could come back and then knock both of them out and we'd win still. You better not do that. I can see you going in there and then just falling down and then I have to do the whole thing. I just got straight to like, change the submissive. Sorry, sorry. The rep just pulls you off. Laughing as well. I'm sorry. Oh man. Yeah, what could we do that like, what's a cool tactic? You could dance, you know, they dance before they strike. Yeah, yeah, I don't think that works out that well. Sorry, it doesn't. It'd be pretty signature. But yeah, so there's that and we've just been filming our little fucks off we're 12 weeks ahead on the website. Now what do we film last week? Some fucking bangers. What's come out just now? Which gender has the highest pain threshold? What's, I haven't seen it, but all I hear is somebody, something about cradling. Don't give it away. Don't give it away. No, it's, it's we just, It's already out. Michael may or may not give birth to people that have to sign on it. Should we cut that? No, no, it's all right. Sorry, I sounded free trial in the link in the description. Guys, 21 day free trial. So you can have a look at that video. Also, if you sign up, we are doing a $50,000 giveaway on our website soon. All right. So all you got to do is be a member, 10 entries if you're a premium member and one entry if you're a regular member. So if you're signed up, you're in the running, you have a chance to win $50,000. I don't know when exact day we're going to do that giveaway, but in like two months. Man, that's like if you think about that's a lot of money, that's a lot of money for not like that higher numbers of people in the comp. Yeah, like a good chance. Like that's better than a lot of change you've ever had. I'm not in it. Yeah, I know. Yeah, you should. It should be. And yeah, look, it was a I'd say that's up there when Marty plays the character that's in this video. Well, when I had transition, when he transitions to a woman, the character that Marty can play is it's one. Everyone has to see this this girl who I am as a woman, this girl. She is something else to be around. It's not a character. Are you saying that trans people are playing characters? No, that's what it sounds like. And that is the title of this fucking episode. Michael thinks that trans people are all playing characters. I think that you mentally ill or something you in that video play the character. That's what I think. Wow, that's. Wow, because that's what you do. I transitioned. OK, fair and square. OK, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Do you think they're playing Imaginarium? Imagine. Well, I like that word. Also, I've got a bone to pick with you about Germany. I just found out before. How do you? What's number nine in German? Nine. And what's nine? Nine. What's no in German? Nine, nine or nine. OK, there's difference. Now, we it's a little bit closer. We think that knowing is, you know, you know what? You know what about English? You got you means a female sheep and you. What's with that? I had no idea that. What's the female she didn't have said that means something's gone rotten and it also means take like remove something. I didn't know about the sheep. You've really bamboozled me there. So what's what's with that? Oh, it's like kind of like in how we use, you know, I mean, you could be a sick man. They don't work on the policy. Matt, hey, come on. People don't want to hear the bleepings. We always. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I was just picturing the bleep. Well, look, also, you've got lamb and lamb. I don't even know the way out of my mind. What are they? How do they say Germany? Anyway, Matt's been having some nightmares, some nightmares about at wholesome when you've been sleeping. Yeah. And also the dream diary I read today. It's not good. Oh, no. Things aren't going well in Matt's life. His brains all muddled and fuddled. That's why he's been. Everything's good now. He's being grumpy at work. I'm always grumpy. He's confrontational brown. And he storms down the hallway waiting for someone to keep eye contact with him to challenge him. Have you have you ever seen those motivational Instagram pages? And they're like always walking to the office like you're like the boss. And sometimes I walk in and I'm like, you're fired. They're like head like chin up and shoulder chest down. Spine. I think I'm Daniel Craig as James Bond. What do we film last week? I'm trying to remember. Oh, we mutilated ourselves. Oh, yeah. That was fucked. You lost your slippers down the back and I found them. Thank you. This is a video, Brown. This is good for people who want to sign up as well. We are the art canvases ourselves, our human body for our torso. And then you have to try and damage yourself enough. And then we artistically artistically. And then the next day in art, an actual art guy came in to judge whose body whose body was damaged in the most artistic way. Why? Because it's fucking it's. It's interesting. We're deeply creative beings and we needed an outlet. Well, that's true. I like that sentence. I'm using that. Anyway, let's fucking get in on it because we've got a new drink bottle. Oh, my God. Why hasn't it got any stickers on it? Well, read out the things that I should put stickers on my drink. Read out the things that it says on it. Dude, plastics. Why would you buy that? It says seven a.m. Good morning. Nine a.m. Hydrate yourself. Eleven a.m. Remember your goal. One p.m. Keep chugging. Three p.m. Feeling awesome. Five p.m. Don't give up. Seven p.m. Almost finished. Nine p.m. You did it. So two liters is what you need to drink a day. Water bottle is dumb. No, I drink. I still like a leader when I just go for after a workout. I skull like fucking two liters there and then plastic. Is that bad? Well, it's BPA free. OK, sorry. Anyway, sponsors. Everyone listening, I need you. I need you to listen to your heart, OK? Put your hand on your chest and you feel that. What? 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Oh, is that me? Yeah, sorry. Oh, that's what it's good. It's not the spot. Look, yeah. It's fucking freezing. You would be like, if your leg was brushing up against my body, it'd be tickling. It'd be tickling. It'd be tickle. Anyway, that's manscaped. Thank you. It's time to go green. AG1, baby. Guess what it's time for? It's time for you to start looking after your health. AG1. We found the products just for you. With 75 virtual nutrients and minerals, this product will make you from a fucking dumb, fucking wanker loser and bring you up to a winning circle, man. I'd never leave you without it. All your friends, all your family will be like, whoa, are you all glowing? What's going on? Get AG1. It's a powder. It's a daily powder. You put it in your water and you drink it. It's yum as shit. And it's going to make you healthy. What? How's that even possible, Marty? I'll tell you how. Well, there, they make the formula better with science and shit, man. It's crazy. 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Are we recording? No. No shit. Fuck. Oh, no. Don't say that. Don't joke and say that. I feel like we're really close today. Yeah, we're a band. We're having band practice. There ain't a problem that we can't fix. We can do it in the... We're having band practice before this. All right, it's filming now. Matt's the trombone player. What instrument would you be if you were in the band? Percussion. You'd be a drummer? I don't know. I think deep down, like, I liked the drummer but I was good at it. I feel like I might have been a trumpet. Or one of those big, like, the ones that go... I'd be a didgeridoo. When I was in years six and seven, I think I was in brass band for a bit. I did the big bass. And then when I was shit and they wanted to give me something to do, they gave me these little furry things and I tapped on the cymbal. I'm sorry, everyone. It's time for the lying segment. Hit it, Matt. Oh, Matt, look at him looking around like he's lost his kid at the supermarket. Come on, hit it. Fucking hit it, Brown. We like... Trust us! There's a Mercedes Benz. Not... It's so long. I can't in again... They don't trust us! Oh, there's a Mercedes Benz. Not... Trot! And this is a segment where we just randomly call one of our friends and we lie to them because lying's funny, everyone. Who are you going to call today? No one trusts anything we say anymore. Who are you going to call today? I'm backfiring an emergency one day. I've been in a car accident. Oh, shut up, lawyer! Hang up! Let's tell someone that we've been in a car accident. No, you did that to me, remember? Oh, really? And I was pretty down. Look, we have an opportunity here. Our mate Jack's no-do. He's back in the country. And I say we give him a little bit of a why. Oh, yeah, tell him you're in a car accident. What should we say? Call him off this phone, his number, and he'll think it's like he won't know who it is. He won't answer it. We can do a new voice or, like, who's a character that we could... I could say that I am... He'll just hang up if you're asking for anything. Yeah, I know. What if I say I'm from body corporate from where he lives and that we've got a few issues with him? Can he come out the front? That's great. Can he come out the front and have a chat? What voice? I've got my shirt off. I'm waiting for you to have a chat. Maybe he'll shut out the front of your house because he's going to pick your voice. Yeah, I know. Maybe Matt has to do it. I'm like, what about, like, what's that voice you did for Greg a few weeks back? Oh, you there, Greg. It's just me. It's just Brian here. I'm just working for the body corporate. That's the voice we have to use. He hasn't know that one. Or you could just go with a complete normal lie so he knows it's us and there's no pressure of having to hide your voice. I reckon we give it a crack. How dare you? We go big brown. How dare you, Matt Brown? And then, no, we'll always shoot for the stars. Once the prank has happened, once then when he realizes it's us, we've got to have a lie ready for him after that. So he's two lies in one. Let's say that we are... We're Germany. If we say hope while I'm body corporate, he'll... Just tell him that we're Germany, brother. We're a country. See if he believes it. No, no, we can go bigger. OK, I reckon we tell him that... Hi, mate, it's Brian here from Body Corporate. Look, mate, we've just had a few complaints sent in. I've got it. We tell him that we're at the driving range the other day and a prank went wrong when basically... How can we fucking... It's something at the driving range. We... Oh! If it's too random, he'll be in, like, lie detection mode after this. Brown, he's going to be a very subtle lie. OK, fuck. Matt, what is something to do with Matt? He's been diagnosed with arthritis. He's not going to care. That's not one he'll worry about. You need something bad. Damn, this is tricky. Why can't I think of one? We're mules. We're mules. Yeah, we are. We probably wear mules. Bro, seriously, we're mules now. Oh, shit, dude. OK. We're German mules. Oh, mate, it's just Brian here. I'm just started at the Body Corporate. Do you have a second to have a chat about your place of residence? Oh. Oh! Tell him that I dislocate... Oh, it's too hard to lie. He'll pick it. Look, I reckon we just go for Brian. OK, we'd be good to have a backup. If we can think of one on the fly, if we can think of one on the fly, that would be nice. Why don't we just throw the same... OK, this will be funny for, like, tell him to take... Oh, wait, I've got it. This will be funny for old-time's sake, OK? Memory Lane, we tell him the same lie that he got really excited about once, back a couple of seasons ago, where we told him that we're going... We're hiring a camper van and we're going camping for a couple of days. Are you down to join us? Oh, and you could start with... Remember when he lied to you about that camper van? I think we're actually going to do it. Yes. You could even bring up the past lie. You lead that once Brian's finished with him. Here we go. Hello? Hi, mate. It's just Brian here from Body Corporate. I've just started. Look, mate, we've had a few complaints sent in. Do you have a second to chat? Yeah, a few complaints. I've just got back from overseas from the last four months. Yeah, mate. Yeah, so the complaints happened over the last couple of weeks. Is there a dog at the residence at all? No, there's not. No? Well, we've had reports of barking and a dog running out on the streets. And there's actually... There's some kind of a blue staffy, we believe, is in your possession. Is that right? Nope. Yeah, right. So you're saying that all your neighbours are lying, mate? 100%. Come round to my house, knock on my door right now. There's literally no dog here. How do I know you just haven't moved it for the time being, mate? Do you know what I mean? I don't believe that the residence there would just be making things up. Do you know what I mean? Is that Marty? I knew he'd pick it. I was like... I was a few seconds away from calling him a f***ing... Dude, I was hoping he'd f***ing blow up in the f***ing sense. He was getting there, right? Bro, I was getting very close to f***ing... We just had him... I reckon, yeah, the voice came. I was like, yeah, you know what I mean? I must go all straight into it. Are you filming people? Oh, man, you've got no idea how close I want to just come to my arms. God damn it, man. Oh, you s***! You're... I don't know why my gut... Like, my gut vibe was like, nah, this has got to be somebody else, because these f***ing never called me. Oh, true. But sometimes it's hard to read my gut as well, because my gut's always full of f***ing f***ing. I love how you answered questions with, nope, but just straight one more. So is it attitude? Like, straight away? Like, f*** you. It's good you're back, dude. We're going to come and see you soon. Well, it was funny, though, because I was being honest, because I've not had Jackson years. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was just trying to... I couldn't think of anything, so I was just, like, going to say... No, it was f***ing close, because, like, Jack does still come here a fair bit. It's just not, like, long at all. I was just, like... I've been overseas, you f***ing s***. I was just f***ing screaming at the guy. Damn! OK, look, we were close. We were close. Oh, anyway, sorry to... You were very close. ...waste your time there, Jack. Dude, are you keen we're going to go... You better talk to him or s***. It's a hundred percent he is. I couldn't. I think I brought back a new strain of COVID-19. Oh, yeah! Come and see them, bro, because I don't want that to die with you, bro. Well, I ate whale in Iceland, and I've been six since I ate the whale. Dude, your trip sounds f***ing... It's hectic, you s***. We're going to have to get you on the f***ing party. Have a f***ing chat about it. We're getting off track, but you have a bloody lovely week, and, yeah, we'll come and catch up soon. I started f***ing sweating out of anger just before. Oh, man, so close. All right, boys, I'll let you get back and do it off track. See you, baby. See you, Jackson. See you later, baby. What are you? Yeah. And that's the lying segment, everybody. We were so close. Yeah, we nearly had him. The only bit I thought it got me was, like, when you launched straight into it without even giving a, oh, hey, I'm so-and-so from Body Corporate. Yeah, I didn't... Because I don't know the details. I don't know the name of the Body Corporate. I don't even know the suburb where he lives. Who used to go, oh, hey, I'm so-and-so from this place, and they go, hey, how are you today? And you go, I'm good, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was pretty good. It's just you could hear the voice come out. It's hard to put a voice on. Yeah, towards the end, yeah. Yeah, I don't know what it is. It's because Greg did the same thing. He picked it after a couple of minutes. I might have to brush up on my customer service in German and do some talking. Information. Can I help you? Can I help you? Yes. All right, guys, let's keep that train moving right along to Laftown. And right now, we've got Matt's Dream Diary. Holy shit, it's time for Matt's Dream Diary, everybody. Hit that shit. I don't have a one for Dream Diary. We'll make one up, Brown. Make fucking one up right now on the spot. Dreams, dreams, I've got dreams. Keep going, Matt. Sorry. It's a good start. Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream, dream. Brown's dreams. Ah, fucked. All right, and this is a segment where Matt Brown, he remembers his dreams and he writes them in the Brown Dream Diary, right? In hopes that someone will one day be able to interpret what they mean because he's so confused and all the passion's gone out of his life. He doesn't want to do anything. He just wants to lie down and he's got depression and PTSD and he's horny all the time and he can't sleep properly. Shut up. And he's really, really struggling. And then he finally falls asleep and he has these intense realistic dreams and he has no idea what happened. He has a girlfriend too. He has a girlfriend now. Look at him, yeah, playing with his water bottle. Mmm. BPA free. All right. Matt's most recent dream. My dream gave me a panic attack last night. I felt so out of control that I vomited in my lap. My girlfriend was not impressed. My dreams started as I was holding my sweet mother's hands. She was leading me towards a building. I was unsteady on my feet and looked down at my body and saw that I was wearing a nappy and nothing else. I had my adult body but moved and felt like a toddler. Mum looked back at me and gave me a warm smile. I stared at her tits and smiled back. I looked up at the building and saw the words Daycare Centre written on it. We entered the building and I became nervous. Mum started speaking to one of the ladies that worked there. I looked around and saw very young children and babies playing with toys being tended to by the daycare staff. This place didn't seem to burn. My mum finished a conversation with the lady and turned to me. I have to go now, sweetie. But daddy will pick you up in a few hours, okay? I didn't want mum to leave but no sentences came out of my mouth. All I could musta was a mama, mama. It's okay, sweetie poo. You'll have a great time here. Try and make some friends, okay? Mum leaned in and kissed me on the lips. I savoured the taste and kissed her back. She pulled away. Bye-bye, Maddie. Mama. No, mama. It's okay. Have fun, okay? Mummy loves you. Mum walked out and one of the staff walked over to me. Come on, Maddie. I'll take you to meet some of the other kids. I nodded and the lady led me to the play area. I sat down with the other kids and felt a bit more relaxed. They all stared at me because I was so much bigger than they were. I was the size of a large adult, but for some reason my mind was slow and only had the mental capacity of a three-year-old. I shit my nappy and giggled. The smell immediately filled the room. It was a huge adult-sized shit and some of the other kids started crying. I giggled some more and noticed a cool-looking toy truck to my left. My eyes lit up and I grabbed it. I started playing with it, pushing it along the ground. Beep, beep. Run, run, run. Suddenly a baby crawled over to me. It was its hand on the truck I was playing with. Mine, I said loudly. Mine. Said the baby. The baby grabbed and started pulling the truck away from me. I jerked the truck away from the baby violently. Mine! The baby slung forwards and face-planted into the ground. It started screaming and crying. Matthew down! We have to learn to share! Said one of the staff. My truck! I stood and got in the staff member's face. I towered over her. I dare she tell me to share. I couldn't control my anger. My truck! Matthew down! I'm going to have to call your father! She stormed off and I felt my anger growing. I can't let her tell my father about my behaviour. I pegged to my truck at her as hard as I could. It slammed into the back of her head and her body went limp and slumped onto the ground. She was knocked out cold. The other kids started crying and became fearful of me. My truck! There was a baby cowering away from me to my left. It's ankle and with all my might I slung it towards the window. It spun through the air and the glass shattered as the baby flew out of view. The staff were all screaming for help and some even started crying. I'd fully lost control. I stomped on another toddler close to me and grabbed another two babies and smashed their heads together repeatedly. My truck! My truck! The whole daycare centre was in panic mode and some of the male staff ran over to restrain me. They tackled me and during the struggle my nappy slipped off. I was now fully naked. I was putrid smelling shit smeared all over my back legs and I struggled to fight these men off of me. My truck! I screamed into one of their faces and he let me go. I fought the other man off and continued my rampage. I saw one of the older female staff members urgently speaking to someone on the phone. I began sprinting like a toddler on my unsteady shit covered legs. My huge balls bounced around as I gained speed. I loaned her up and was going to slam into her as hard as I could. She dropped the phone and began covering herself bracing for impact from me. Just as I was about to lunge at her, a policeman entered the building. He saw me sprinting at her naked with shit all over my legs and immediately opened fire. The first bullet pierced through my cheek and I felt it explode at the back of my skull. I was dead instantly. Then I woke up screaming, My truck! And vomited. What a fucking strange nightmare. And why were all my nightmares wet dreams? Dude, imagine throwing a plastic truck at someone's head so hard that it knocks them out and they go limp in the air. Oh, man. Do you have any memories of daycare? I didn't go to daycare. Yeah, you wouldn't have. I just went to kindergarten and shit. Oh, did you not go to daycare? Wow. What was kindy like? You're just German. I was just heaves German and shit. And I didn't like the toilets because it was too... There's not private enough. So I would often hold it and sometimes piss myself because I didn't want to go to the toilet with all these other children and being able to look at me. Could you always see a big wall? When you were zero to three before you came to Australia? Berlin. I thought I was in Berlin. Also, what's a story that you remember from kindy earliest? The first day I ever got dropped off. Really? Yeah, I remember I grabbed onto the mama's heart as hard as I fucking could. I still remember thinking I'm not fucking letting go. I'm not getting ripped away. Wow, and then they eventually got me away and then the teacher took me to the corner and then she taught me my first English word and it was frog. No way! You've told us so before. Dude, that's so weird. I don't remember at all because I was so scared and now what the fuck was going on? That's why you get upset when I call you frog. Yeah, it really cuts me. Brings me back to that moment. That's so... wow. You've told me that before but I've forgotten. That is insane dude. I don't remember my first day. Do you? Not the first. I can't remember. Must have been nice. I do remember kids were so dominant at all the things to play with. Especially girls would be always dominant like the boss. The red-headed girl? Nah, that was year two. Dominant over Matt? Nah. It was just like a... It was like everyone was like all for themselves so no one was her friend. Do you remember fucking nap time? It was so shit. I could never sleep. I'd always be like what are we doing? We're all just lying here. I don't remember that. That was the only time I could get to any of the toys is because people would run out of energy and fall asleep and I'd be like yeah it's my time. Not even the sad little boy in the corner. Not saying anything just pointing to toys but then other kids push him out of the way and grab him. Oh man I have a memory and this is in daycare not fucking a chick. You were fucking a chick in the toilet. Behind the shed. I would take kids to behind the shed and then feed them these little like nuts that would fall from trees. Oh my god you poisoned kids. Whatever they call it. Why would you do that with other people? I used to swallow them and then teach the kids how to swallow them. I can't remember what sort of fucked on them. Yeah like gum nuts. You know the little gum seeds? Did they choke? No you can swallow them. I don't think you can digest them probably. Fucking hell. I remember that. Probably one of your piss dreams all caught on the edge. It was just mum dropping me off in all these strangers and none of them spoke any German. I was like what the fuck is this shit? That would have been so scary dude. Yeah like all these and I had no idea what the fuck was going on and now I'm just like surrounded by just strangers. So they just started talking English at you. What did you just hear? Frog. Putting it in a picture. Sorry from then on that that was frog. Frog. That's why you hate being called a frog. It all fucking makes sense. Holy shit. Man that would be traumatic. Did you ever have to like you know when like a kid first came to school when you were really young and like did any teacher ever like put you them with you and like oh this is so and so can you take care of them until the the first? There was only 15 people in my class and I'd always forget to tell them what when the bells meant and where to go. I remember like they'd I'd go yeah I'll be back in a sec if you hear the bell just go to the class and I thought I never I never told them that so the bell would go and they'd just keep walking around the school and I'd go to class and then I'd realise I've like forgot about them. You'd go out there and fuck no I'd just I'd go teach I forgot about the new person somewhere and I'd always get in trouble for that and they always brought them back to me again. Matt was the kid that they gave the new kids to like you know really really sensible like like quiet nice kid. You know that the teacher trusts you to like just be like teaching them the good ways apart from forgetting them when they're out after lunch. The teacher never would have given me a new kid to look after because in you that I would corrupt them or something like that I'm not sure man you guys probably don't know this but I was school captain primary school captain. Fuck you were you really school captain? You know that I say it like every second podcast were you? Yeah he was you were school captain who voted that the kids or the teachers all the kids in the year weren't you sports captain? Yeah I never went for school captain that was suicide. Sorry bleep suicide best years of my life look they were pretty fucking good years primary school is best primary school man you really regret that not enjoying primary school more. Yeah primary school was fun because it just nothing mattered. But fuck me things like everything took so long. Yeah like days now go like that fuck you back home and it's night time and now it's the middle of the year somehow. Perception of time back then though like time would go so slowly which was shit during school but then during holidays it was like it felt like forever it just ride and ride and ride on the BMX. Dude it was like now all the days go like bang bang back to work back to working all the time stress you would literally have time and you'd be like what am I going to do today you'd get bored. Yeah I'd fuck hey there was no social media back then so you could literally just sit in your room sometime and smash cars together. I'd game and fuck heaps bro it was just a fucking shit it makes everywhere bro down in the park. Yeah I lost my Vs when I was 4 I was fucking chicks. Were they older? Okay that was so much. Those poor girls also well that's intense surely that's not going to stay we'll see. I was fucking chicks I'm allowed to say that. Not up anyway. Yeah there's different days back then Campbell it's time Berlin it's time for the segment that you've all been waiting for everyone right after this bong break bong break bong break bong bong break bong break the great debate will return with bam boozled. Oh wow the great debate between mates this is the great debate me yeah that's good okay this is a segment where Michael and Matt go head to head and debate the shit out of each other now it must be said and it must be remembered that the boys the opinions that are about to express are not actually their own personal opinions they're trying to win the debate for a laugh okay it's not true it's all a joke if you're easily offended please move on skip to the next segment because if you are easily offended you will be offended by this segment okay and remember this is not true we don't think these things okay maybe skip to like fussy little boys alright let's figure out who's for the argument and who's against the first and then I'll tell you what the argument is today alright Michael you need to pick right or left pocket oh I don't like that Michael that scares me why? I don't know why pocket it's just easier than a hat to find a hat against and for the way Marty's laughing says it's going to be tough for me oh my god Matt's for this argument okay it's got to be a like a proper argument bro trust me today's argument is women belong in the kitchen that is rough I am so glad I am so bad that I got against oh my fucking god oh my god oh dude that is rough alright since paper on over the four goes first right does it I can't remember I'll go first fuck it alright you have got a minute and a half and then Michael have a minute and a half for a bottle and that gets another minute gets another minute okay so long alright here we go start formulating ideas squeeze that brain pump out some ideas so women belong in the kitchen convinces of that in three two one start why women should be what is it again why women should be in the kitchen women belong in the kitchen I think we're better cook we're better cooks than men let's just start with that you are a woman you've ruined my go that's a woman you've attacked me that's a woman hahahaha hahahaha I thought you were a woman I was confused so you're saying women are better cooks women are better cooks okay yep what else I've lost what time are you a woman I'll give you a bit extra I'll give you a bit extra um we can't be out in the civilization doing jobs and things like that women yeah we have to be in the home in the kitchen cooking for husbands who are earning the cash and bringing it home what if what if women want to be more career-orientated no women who are great see that is a terrible idea once again men are stronger faster better know okay well they will be able to do all the jobs build the world so we can sit there and live in it and cook our food so you're saying that women men are so much better than women that women shouldn't even bother trying to no they should never just give up and stay in the kitchen never try stay in the kitchen fucking the kitchen raise the kids in the kitchen kitchen and time okay all right you're a bottle Michael three two one go feminist I've got three things three things to tell you now you've got if you ever heard of Julia Gillard Julia Gillard you she's a former prime minister of Australia she couldn't be doing what she's doing if she spent too much time in the kitchen wow and look if you become prime minister you might not be good at it but at least she became prime minister so you agree she wasn't good at it hey I'm just saying that I'm just saying that's number one that's kitchen you want to hear number two yes in pickle ball there is a spot the the lines at the front of the court you're not allowed in it's called the kitchen guess who else is in the kitchen a lot of the time who or you can have females and males oh holy shit that blows your argument to pieces so males are in the kitchen all right so females because that's the sport it's the front of the pickle ball court now third thing have you ever seen the movie blue crush you say have you ever seen a dead body well blue crush yes you would have it's a surf film mm-hmm guess who they're the main main the main three goals guess who guess what gender they are the girls I don't see gender they're girls and they're surfing heaps which means they're out of the kitchen bang case point proven argument wow seal the deal so you're saying that women don't belong in the kitchen because there are already women out there doing amazing things outside of the kitchen sort of I reckon and time and on all right you're a bottle final battle three two one go oh your arguments is silly Julie Gillard was a prime minister and she failed because she's a woman she should have stayed in the kitchen who was your second argument I can't remember to do with quick the there's a court oh yeah pickle ball so middle ball has nothing to do with women in the kitchen silly argument your argument three blue crush clearly surfing is a hobby I believe they are allowed to have some hobbies for a small amount of time it's not a job their job is to be in the kitchen women kitchen kitchen women okay stop there another 20 seconds I don't need that 20 seconds rebuttal I just crushed you okay two one like every man would tool woman I've got four points now therefore new points have you ever seen Shrek in Shrek you've got Shrek the main character you also have the princess okay rescued by a man she is in a tower with no kitchen therefore you can have girls outside the kitchen because that's proof there is four Shrek's one two three four and she's cooking once she's rescued just gonna put that out there if you watch all the Shrek yeah but so is Shrek if you watch all the Shrek's and there's four there might be five if there's five Shrek's and there's five reasons there might be a fish Shrek I don't know about yet but I know there's four for sure the entire woman race of not being in the kitchen is relying on you look this is just I'm just trying to prove a point and time oh man look Michael took an early lead after the first round I have to say like the pointing out that there are already women in prime positions they're not prime positions you can't call actresses I top top of the line no no you didn't say that I gave it literal point with the blue brush was surfing and pickleball is also a hobby other movies I did I named movies like Shrek look look this is just how I interpret okay so Michael did have a lead then you kind of you couldn't driven on home in your second bit but it was a bit you relied on Shrek yeah talking about Shrek and my Matt had a good point that like is doesn't she do the cooking in that move she does the cooking the movie so the Shrek and the little kids are flying around her because they're half Shrek though so it's not just that's a very you boys are very close this week just because like me personally I disagree with you Matt with what you can't be your opinions can't yeah that's true that's true I'm finding I disagree with it I disagree with it too but I had to win so that's what I had to say well that's admitting that just there he came true and said that it's not real so final hurdle Matt once again our opinions don't include it's about the debate my 100% let's leave it let's leave it to the audience I was structured now you have to you have to pick no no I like that making it a comment thing on that no no pick one no Matt pick well you're weak you're weak like women should be in the kitchen it creates chat in the comments which is exciting you guys know I'm high I don't it's hard to tell so we'll leave it to you guys leaving the comments if you think just comment Matt one if you think Matt one or my structure and I just straight everything he said or Shrek I don't know it was quite so there was blue crotch I can't believe I go she did a shit job she should have stayed in the kitchen man someone just takes that step that is fucking gold you know what you just reminded me of that telling people to go take shit we've got a prank call idea but I hope that we can do one more of those because I think that needs to be just a regular thing we try different business each week so we just remind everyone remind everyone a joke yeah yeah the great debate okay these aren't real our real opinions I wanted me to reiterate again it's not true okay what what we're saying and thinking about when obviously we don't think that women I meant my argument though yeah see because he was against it so it's easy to like your argument made no sense I reckon I was against it 100% anyway anyway look we'll leave it we'll leave it to you guys Michael one or Matt one leave it in the comments and give us a five-star review while you're at it's just so close to that fucking thumbs up and subscribe button why don't you smash that fucking like button bro and hammer fucking this that subscribe button bro give it a fucking seizure fucking bang it's head on a cement ground so it bangs up like that and starts foaming in the mouth it's actually a concrete ground and some smash it's actually cement and concrete at the same thing no they're not it's actually a product it goes so bandsay how if the concrete sidewalk is technically the right I wonder we should just do a video dig a hole for five hours and see who can get further down you'd win you got like I guess it's more strength physical I don't know you've got competitiveness and rat like yeah and you yeah you've got dog in you no no no you're gonna be right back with bamboo buzzle it you made a mistake we wanted everyone to know Matthew's incompetence at the button pushing it's tough no no not again please I'm so confused I can't see you've been bad not me not me not me all right that's a everyone we're here with bamboozled where we Matt Michael and myself we each have to have a drink or some food or something that James has prepared for us and one of us is gonna get fucked up and two of us are not gonna get fucked up and everyone has to try and guess who the person has it got fucked up so the person who gets fucked up has to try and keep a straight face so the other two don't know that they've been fucking bamboozled bitch bitch yeah Connor roll the tape Connor roll the tape it's the time of the week again where it's bamboozled time and this week it's not eating stuff as you can tell from my glove it's something that they've got a touch it's not gonna hurt them or anything but still it's kind of gross this is the winning option just a little ceramic frog the scary option he's pretty grumpy is this it's a cane toad and before everyone's like oh don't hurt the animals he's not gonna get hurt I literally picked him up last night and put him in this little box that's wet and lovely and peaceful and anyway these guys eat frogs they're kind of dicks they got introduced to Australia and they have these little poison sacks on the back of their heads and they can squirt poison so hopefully it does that one of the boys but yeah so one of them is going to be picking up that with bare hands and they're not gonna know what it is so they're gonna fucking panic bamboozled baby all right so now after everyone's watched the tape you three the only people in the world that don't know what you're doing oh no that's it you three only ones do I tell you I do hey I think oh yeah we have in the past so today's not eating it's not drinking fuck off it's it's feel oh no in two of the boxes there is a cute little ceramic frog and in the third one there is a large grumpy cane toad that I've kept for the last oh yeah it's he's pissed man he's like every time I pick him up like pushing my thumb with his legs trying to get away from me and grumpy ass man I know something wrong with this I can't do this James likes to pick up cane toads with his bare hands yeah James this would be nothing for you I've never had that happen once they do if you really annoy them they'll get like this white mist on their back that is the poison that they're producing and then what happens if you if you get it in your eyes or on your mouth or something it's not great oh no dude this is gonna fuck with me it's simple I don't lick your fingers afterwards Michael okay well fuck he can't help himself yeah I can't help now I need your help with this because how are we gonna like you're either gonna have to go all three has to go at the same time but then you need to see each other right I almost wonder if we do it one at a time well what if we take the wine pick our spots pick our spots and then we all go in at the same time and you'd watch just freak out yeah I suppose so whoever lost last week gets to choose which hole they want to fuck all right I reckon yeah we go one at a time I like your idea and now of course the ceramic frogs don't move so so that you guys are gonna be able to find them easily so I recommend that all three of you go like this around the box oh my god and also a touch of it that if you do get a ceramic frog there's no trying a trick it's just you have to try and stay as straight face as you can okay one one pretend to have a total I'm proposing if the one person out of the three that does get the bad punishment they just like snick it with their finger and realizes there is pulling their hand out and don't actually pick it up you get punished you get hit with something oh my god you want us to pick it up you want to pick the fucking yes fuck it yeah I'd rather take the hit no the rings you got to do it for the rings like you spat the chili out like oh my god yeah it fucking hammered me are you sure 100% they cannot bite no oh my god this is one of the scariest thing I've ever fucking done in my life yeah this is up there with really this is terrifying you can take your blindfold off I feel like whoever's gonna get here is gonna be in that hole there I can vaguely see I can't see anything there I swear I swear my beautiful mother I cannot see what's in that hole all right you get to pick first hole because you lost last week it doesn't buy it you know what's got a mouthful shit you don't look at looking at Michael just cheated I'm gonna have to take the box out and move it so I can see oh really yeah fuck I gotta go rearrange I didn't see it I promise you fucking oh my god I'm so scared oh my god I saw it it's fucking huge it is fucking gigantic oh god it looked pissed off no this is huge I don't know if I can fucking pick that thing I saw it it was like this big do I have to bring it out of the fuck no no no cuz then the will know you just got to grab it I suppose I can't grab it I'll take the hit dude this is bad this is bad yeah I don't know what it is about a total I don't it's fucked oh my god dude just the thought of even the frogs I can't touch I'll be okay with a frog frogs okay but frogs leap off quick oh James I'm so terrified fuck my dad I say it doesn't know that we're scared dude it smells you're fear I should have gotten a higher table because these boys that can't help themselves no no loving lunk me in with him oh my god oh my god oh my god this is so this is so hot you're scared oh fuck me I'll quickly bow I'll just do that fuck it go it's his paper scissors paper rock fuck oh I'm gonna go middle he hasn't changed it he didn't have time to take all this so I went middle all right get into busy get into positions I'll go to the middle watch out then how do we like how do we like oh my god close your eyes you have to lift it up it has to be an air no dude never if you had this one I agree oh my god you guys are fucking me I'm gonna go I'm actually quite nervous you can do it when you're ready you have to look at each other look at each other I don't want to do it I don't want to do it why touch me with your toes I can't fucking do this, he's hurt me, he's hurt me, he's hurt me, he's hurt me, he's hurt me, he's hurt me, I can't do it dude, he's hit me, just alright, I felt it many times Alright, Andre, who do we think was bamboozled? 1, 2, 3, Michael, Michael was bamboozled I touched him It was so easy to see man I was like flicking, I was trying to flick it to see if it was alive Let's let him go, let's let him go Holy fucking shit, he's touching it Fucking touch him like that Alright, we've set it free, it's gone into the bushes now everybody Holy shit Oh my god Go wash your hands We gotta go wash our hands Squeeze We'll be right back everyone, let's cut to a quick bong break Oh man Yuck Yuck, I feel ill, I wanna vomit Just slap him with this Mark Alright, look we're back It's only fair Oh fuck He needs to pay for what he did Don't hit my knee He didn't do as we said Now he must be punished Please don't hit my knee dude I'll hit where I want, I'll clog my eyes and twig I'm so scared It's gonna cork you, it's heavy dude It's designed to be sat on I can barely lift it, it's so heavy I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't touch it, I will It's gone I want him back Oh my god Oh my god, I'm scared Oh my dick Shit Oh my god Are you okay? That sounded so juicy dude That was heavy That sounded like a moist patch Shit, sorry dude, I thought that was your knee Oh, it's different now This is how Michael's gonna be for the whole podcast now Oh shit man Oh no Oh my god, it made me wanna shit That's weird Oh my god Man, you have to drink the water and read the messages Oh sorry You have to drink it, don't spit it at Michael Oh shit dude Alright guys, that was fucking bamboozled And if you have any suggestions for bamboozled Message, it's jameslee underscore And he will sort it for you Yep Alright, let's move along Michael, how are your testicles? Yeah dude, they're coming back It's really like hurt Did he get the top of the head? It hit the bottom of him Oh my god It's time for the voicemail segment Hit it, Brown Here we go, look at him searching around Scanning the playground for weaklings For strays You call them different names Bring it with your ring And there's a segment where we play the voicemails And text and cheer you guys send us If you wanna call us or leave us a voicemail Or send us a text, please call us on 04 666 02 303 And wait for the voicemail And sometimes we answer the phone So if you hear someone answer, it's us So talk to us A lot of people just hanging up straight away Yeah, I message back Some people have sent Like I obviously can't show you guys But I'll tell you about it They've sent some pretty hectic shit Obviously we had the ping pong ball Going over the foreskin Did someone do that? Someone actually got that done Two thirds, two thirds Which is pretty cool Yeah, that's pretty cool Was there an apple in the bull sack? Did that happen? Um I can't watch them That's the goal If we can get someone to send What you want over the foreskin Can I have a little request I'd like If people could text in pictures of their shit Oh yeah I'm kind of curious We're gonna get some good farts No blood No blood shits Well someone sent a picture of their rectum Spread so far That you could see the insides of them It was fucked up That was Marty No, no, it was like It was deep No, no, I didn't It was fucked That was me Okay, so That's not on Actually, it did look like you Yeah Do you think we're one of the only group Of mates in the world That could identify Marty By one of our friends by their arseholes I reckon a good out of ten Definitely by Dick Well, it's like I can remember his phone number Like, off by heart But yeah, definitely It's like the more you say Or see something The more you remember it Definitely by Dick I could do you boys easy by Dick So this one is live Nothing matters Down syndrome That's fact That's fact Mark wanted to play That was unheard I just thought I'd play it And then this one is A story Marty, Michael Oh, fuck, man Calling from America Love you guys Long time listener You're the story First time I ever took acid Guy filled my palm with liquid acid At a festival Lurped that shit down I got lost Seven hours Couldn't find my tent Seven hours Walking around back and forth Don't forget about this shit Finally I find my buddy I come up to him I was like, oh my god I've been lost for fucking ever He goes, no you haven't You've been walking In between them two cars Right next to us All the whole time You son of a bitch Holy fuck Dude, acid can be scary sometimes The couple of times I've had bad trips Was where you get so disorientated I kept like Thinking I was in different parts of the house And it's really scary Well it's like If you take enough Literally like your visuals in front of your face Become so hard So you just can't even see what room you're in So he would have been like In between two cars Thinking that he's searching around the whole camp And he's just been going from like Two meters to two meters That's fucking cool Imagine seeing that Dude What the fuck are you doing there? Walking from car to car That's why you gotta be careful Like with your doses Unless you're in a safe environment I could not imagine doing that Imagine going to the zoo on that much acid I would fucking freak you out Seeing the cages Thinking you're in a cave Yeah and then the lines are right there bro Oh Drafts Dude, I couldn't think of anything worse Than doing like A slurp full of acid So that's like Imagine doing like seven hits at once And then you're at a festival In front of like Oh It's too public So easy to do a lot of LSD Quickly you see the little squirt in your mouth And that goodbye for fucking 12 hours Dude Anyway, there you go So there's an acid story Which I thought was pretty funny Thank you Send us photos of you shit I'm yuck Alright We won't even be able to show them It's just more for us That's just gonna hear the phone Going off knowing That all these strange Shits are coming through I don't go there anymore Now Alright, what a funny one It's as clear as fucked up As it is funny We went away on my buck's trip And long story short Went to a strip club We knew the DJ there The DJ came up to me And he said Hey man Have you ever been lactated on? I was like It's kind of fucked up I was like No, I haven't been He goes I got something in store for you anyway We'll sit in there Next minute The stripper comes out Whips the tits out Sprays fucking milk All over us All I've made of boys The Mirrors were covered in Breast milk And then anyway One of my other mates Who upstairs getting a dance He comes down And we're like Hey bro You just missed out On the funniest shit ever He's like What's happened? I was like Like this chick Just sprayed breast milk All over us Well fucking fetish Unlocked He was like Who was it? And we're like There was this chick Over here And anyway Next minute This is fucking Breast feeding On the stripper She was holding him Like a baby For about half an hour Drank her dry And the best part of it Every time he'd have a suck She would then grab him by the head And face his head towards us And like Milk at him And he'd have to milk at us And then put him back on the tit again Fucking funny shit Oh my god So there you go So they He used the word squirt Went on the mirror Does it do that? It's like a gun It shoots out It's like a super soaker And then she lets someone Breast feed on her Yeah that's a bit far That's a bit unhygienic I think she should Wash her nipples before she Let her baby suck back on her Was the baby and the man And be sharing fluids Yeah that's hectic Petish unlocked in front of All your mates at a Bucks party Suck on the tit Suck on the tit for half an hour All you want to do is just Hang out and talk to your mates But one just can't Stop breastfeeding on a Just staring at him That one was very good Something that someone in our group Would do for a while Oh boys watch this Start breastfeeding on her Oh man I wonder if you could do both at once Squish them in the middle and then You could try Matt you know Matt no Matt Yeah Alright so obviously We have contacted Bailey He's Emily's boyfriend Who has told us some bender stories from last week Yeah he's trying to contact us And he finally got through to us last week And we found out The condition of him telling his stories Was he has to have broken up with Emily Who betrayed him basically And not doing a simple request All we asked was for a simple favor And she couldn't do it for us Couldn't do it for Bailey Bailey's dumped her Now we're going to make sure Yeah it's exactly We're going to call Emily Because Bailey could just be lying to us And saying that and then like Still staying with her We don't know that So we have to find out See if Emily answers And then we'll ask him Jesus That was fun Was that a whore? You're pouring Matt down a building mate Here we go Sorry Matt The person you are calling Is not available That's a good sign She's obviously disconnecting from him And his mate What should we ask Should we just ask him for her? Let's just send him a photo of her Let's send Bailey We're going to send Bailey A photo of Matt's Are you down with that Matt? Get your f*** out Matt No Oh come on I've got a folder actually of Matt I've got to airdrop you one Alright we're going to send Bailey A photo of Matt's And call him And double check That he's still broken up with her I was joking about the folder I thought you did I was like holy s*** Alright Hello Bailey How are you dude? I'm very well How are you? Yeah not too bad We just tried to get through to Emily And the f***ing She wouldn't even f***ing ring I told you I've broken up with her Yeah I know We just Double checking We weren't checking We just wanted to tell her That she's f***ing missed that boat F*** Well she emailed me Because I've got a block on everything And she said they've been trying to call me So I was popping her out Alright well that's good Look Look we just thought we'd call touch base Make sure you're still broken up with her And maybe you can chuck us a bender story Yeah I've got one Yes Alright so We're like We're probably 16 My mate, my old mate just turned 17 And we're out at this party right And then Like we're all off our heads On a day two special And we're at this party and then It got out of control And then like The dad come back Cancelled the party And then all these police got involved And then My mate like Had a zany And you know when you forget When you have a zany Yeah Didn't know what he was doing So He was yelling at the coppers And we're like Because we're all underage drinking And we're like f*** We don't get caught So we're like So we're like looking at it from the distance Going like what are you f***ing doing F***ing guys And he starts He starts a This is only 17th birthday So he starts abusing the copper And then we just say our best mate Just get tazed by a copper So we sort of just looked at him And thought oh f*** You're on your own here He's so f***ing good I would love to watch him as he's tazed We just started running And then like We're in the We're in the fields like f***ing Ducking And dodging these cop lights And then shooting And I'm in these cops Sorry Were they shooting at you? Yeah Just shot a couple at us Nah but when he got home His mum called us And was like What the f*** have you done Like Cause he kept on calling us Every five minutes Cause he kept on forgetting That he's actually calling us And his mum was in the room Watching it the whole time She goes He keeps on forgetting Every five minutes what he's doing And then we're like Oh yeah we don't know Like f***ing We don't know what's happening And then We ended up driving there Like I'm lost and And like No one had a car Or whatever We just like got one And we went there And we ended up like Appearance he asked for the window And took him back And he kept on getting on the bender For another few days He gave him more zanis F*** yeah What the f*** He broke him out of his parents place Yeah he's That's insane We fool We fool took the fly Screaming off and out And had to carry him through the window Cause he wanted to come back And it was so bad And then Yeah we just carried on Kept on charging us His birthday What did you want us to do? Oh my god That is so true Bailey Holy sh** I couldn't leave you there Emily has no idea what she's lost COD That's not Oh f*** well I wouldn't be I wouldn't be breaking her out of anywhere If Emily If Emily had taken a zany You would be nowhere near her She'd be left over to the folks New state Oh man Bailey where did you grow up? Where did this all take place? Oh poor McCoy Wow Okay I was just curious Just past Newcastle AKA Zeniville Did you think it was Palm Beach? Yeah No no I was just curious where people Cause people's bender stories sort of differ Where they grow up Yeah well that's pretty insane When I said she's A lot of bender stories Like I'm not even I'm just scratching at the surface I'm only going to give these one here Like whenever he's calling about So he's calling me more Yeah that's good So we start writing them down We want them to be detailed And I want The more I detail them The more like I'm incriminating myself So it's pretty You've got to sort of just Know what you're saying Write a book Go 50-50 in the I don't know Matt Brown's a bit sars I don't know if I can trust you Yeah he'll fucking take your Cystery if you let in Oh Wait we've I'm in the podcast You just need You just need to stop Pulling in Julian's diary And choose Oh yeah we got Matt's Dream Dream Diary To make a Matt's black book That's Matt's black book Makes me sick Sorry dude What's What part are you up to now A season I'm up to the part where He's given He's a call on 6th And he's picking a top 3 For Matt Brown Oh that was season 4 Wow Season 4 Episode 14 It was yeah There you go Okay fucking good Last episode I heard Marty was all sick And he sort of wrecked the podcast Yeah sorry Oh yeah He's real flat and boring Yeah you got a few I should have I should have Smartened up Yeah Well look You definitely did Supply a good Bender story buddy So thank you And we'll chat to you next week And just stay away from Emily Yeah stop calling Emily bro Cause I don't want to hear from us Okay Okay alright We'll see Okay Alright lads Farewell Bailey Farewell Bye Bailey Sus He said to stop calling Emily Yeah the song gone on there I reckon we Keep calling her Well look Like I said before I'll call her off my Phone Next week You calling her again now Just one more Just one more And we can leave a message We gotta leave a message The person you are calling Is not available Please leave a short message And it will be sent As an audio message We will never stop We will know the truth You will never have Bailey He is ours That's that And she gets to listen to that now Alright guys It's time for a brand new segment Oh ho Sorry there's a bush turkey at the door I was trying to give it a little fright It's time for a brand new segment everyone This is gonna replace the how famous are we segment Because we were slowly isolating ourselves From everyone else in the industry And that's done with us So we got a brand new segment Matt plays a big role in it He's nervous Yay is that starting now Nervously crossing his legs Why didn't you check with me first He's really nervous Cause we know you would have said no to it You're at work so they ran across me And I can still say no I'm a fucking grown adult There's apples and fruit Now you'll love this Matt Alright look I think for the theme song It should just be the antiques road show theme song What is the antiques? That was beautiful This is therapy for brown Also known known aka as getting down with brown yeah sorry that's what it's called getting down with brown so what happens so Matthew hurry up he's irritable because he's nervous oh you look like a fuck lie there the fear of the unknown hurry up all right so Matt I'm gonna remove this and you're gonna pick a card out for fuck's sake okay and whatever's on that card we're gonna have a little chat about this is gonna suck okay all right baby this is gonna be shit no one's gonna like this except for you all right pick one this is Michael's idea actually what one round one well someone in the comments suggested this one thank you go all right you're gonna read it out loud for everyone man what does it say what scares you most and why please we need to get deep here you know before we start before we start can I just point out that you've got some kind of wallop clearly that you're quite defensive and I don't have a wallop I feel like this is boring for everyone has to listen to you're destroying the podcast by doing this I feel like you're kind of lashing out and look we we hear what you're saying we hear what you're saying look if it's no good how about this okay you don't have to come back to next week that's a good that's a good point all right now look look let's let's steer away from you know laughing and mucking around just for a moment and I just want you to actually think what scares you the most like have you ever actually thought about it's actually an interesting self-reflective question if you ponder it truly I don't know what scares me the most but I do have a fear continue please continue that was silly joke but we're back and now I don't want to do it we're back in the same shot that wall straight up and the only reason I did that was to shoot you made it higher now yeah demonstrate to you that there is a huge wall now you made the wall you built it Trump okay I'm gonna pick you up and I'm gonna put you over that wall now okay so you're Mexican visualize it come here we shouldn't physically that's gonna be tricky I see I see if it's shit we can you said if it's shit I don't have to come back I was like you're trying to like you have done being control look this isn't about you can have a redraw compromise I don't need a redraw look that's a fine the topics fine it's interesting it's an interesting topic so what scares you the most why don't I really don't know I have fears though like I have a fucking fear of rollercoaster what's your worst case scenario 20 years from now you're looking at your life what was the worst case scenario look like for you there I don't know what scares me the most you mean like things like when you I don't know I it's sort of situation based like like if I'm out of like if I'm in the water like there's always a fear of drowning and crazy yeah I'm talking about like more kind of a life scenario fears like obviously you know if we were running around the forest we see a fox we're all gonna be scared of the fox because it's a dangerous dog we could goodbye does it's scary thing to see but I'm talking about like you know it's something like you don't want to end up alone bald and fucking living living in a one bedroom shittier Palmer by Tommy's 60 with no friends like you scared of being alone well have that I don't have no fear of that because because I've got you yeah so what fear do you have that's like that a grand theme of fear no yes you do Matt come on I don't it's alright you've got it in your mind I don't know saying it because you're scared of being judged maybe dying before my parents would be a fear oh yeah why is that so I'd hate to I'd hate for them to have to go through my death what about your sister same thing so you want your parents to hire and die not at all not at all I'm just saying I'm just saying it would be horrible for them to have to experience that so that's that's not like so I think that I think I have a fear of seeing my family in in you know pain or sadness okay you're a fear of pain you know especially you know like before my grandmother I'd always had a fear of like seeing her upset why is never I don't know I showed I think she was just innocent to me why what what made you first be fearful of seeing your family in pain it must have been something that is drawing this fear out and I don't know like seeing my parents separate was they ever was quite sad at that moment and that sucked so you so see you don't see that again it was traumatic for you your sensitive soul Matthew Brown you take things on board but I'm sensitive for my family yeah exactly so but you need to know that that's not your responsibility okay or my family not what we can do we can do is be there for them and be brown that's right so try so don't let that fear get to you Matt okay you have no control over what the future holds that might live till 100 and I might be really happy about that you could die next week thanks do you think have you ever heard them fuck Michael you're branching off into something else and sorry yeah but I think I thought I did once get of that at all I honestly thought I heard him once and I didn't see who was moaning louder I just heard weird noises that I didn't understand did you get up to investigate I feel like we did some good work here in the ten minutes today oh shut up well no seriously it's good to know that you scared of all we should have left that card out now I am stemming from like Marty playing a psychologist man I still recall like you with like do you remember yeah like you would critique as a psychologist you tend to do that a lot become psychologists yeah remember in Bali oh yeah remember that what were we on Valium Valium yeah we're on Valium's and you just become a monster monster psychologist who is Zenny's man I didn't get it was it was true it was truthful yeah but it wasn't it was nowhere helpful at all to me I just went to bed all right that's enough let's move on prank call everyone it's prank call time yes so what's happened is we've seen a sign as we've pulled up at a traffic light with the queue what's it called a we've scanned it with our phone will Darren has and then he's got like a picture of him on his phone at the lights and now it's what I think it's like a thousand dollars and four points so we're gonna ask him to just take the point the points not the fine all right here we go please just answer someone I like can you hear me sorry yes hi this is get carplay returning a call oh my yeah yeah right sorry mate just bad reception where I am or calling you guys I've got a bit of a dilemma that often use need to help me with right so use know he's got them signs on the traffic lights and that with QR code on it yeah yeah well one of them right there's a phone camera like adjacent to it right I took my phone out while I'm driving in the driver's seat scan your fucking little QR code thing right and then click click click right fucking cameras gone off fucking caught me on the phone and I'm only doing it like I've done it cuz like I've seen your ad so it's now I've now I've just got a big fat phone come in on Friday what I come home from work check the mail get mail at right $1,000 and four points yeah so look you know look use use can do your marketing and that but like use a baiting use a baiting blokes to get like fond and that and that all's like what all's like actually like considering like no no look yeah now I'll come in look I'll get some work off you guys like you use lock some business and that because I was got them as that I was got one and then like I fucking get fine and I'm just like mate that's like such it like dumb spot to put it don't you think oh no this is the first I've heard of that no no I don't think this happened to anyone else I didn't think there were cameras there yeah my oh look I don't know what to do lock lock oh look I can't afford that lock I can't afford to lose the points right I need my car for my job so like I've got look I can pay I can pay the money okay I'm just gonna go put it down payment plan fucking $20 a week fuck see you later brother but I need I can't lose them points right I've got two points left okay and I can't if I that for there gone right my license gone suspended mate and I can't have that so I'm calling you and I'm saying like you know I'm happy to pay the fine and that and like you's put that sign there so I think maybe you need to take the points from me bro okay are you sure it happened to mate I'm 100% sure mate I can show you the ticket and that lock it's got lock that um addressing that you can see me like you can even see me like the holding the phone out the fucking window lock holding it right up against a lot lean right out like across a line of traffic with more fucking phone out the photo is actually fucking hilarious but lock you know the points is the fucking thing that's just fucked me up they to to yeah okay yes I look I can send it to you and that lock I can send it to you and that but yeah like you's gonna have to take the points lock lock I don't want to leave a bad review on that from but lock you know I can get me and like two other mates and that to leave pretty bad review lock if or if these ain't sorted you know what I mean lock and reviews is everything these days bro lock sometimes I don't even go to a joint if I say it's got shit review on it you know what I mean absolutely yes I look I don't know how it is look I know I've got to send it in there look I'll fill it out and say no that's not me driving in that and then I'll flick it over to you you sign it and that and then you got to get fine done in your name all I'll do the payments but I'll pay for it right but you just got to take the points and that because lock I can't I can't be having a suspended license because your dogs put a fucking QRK down fucking straight into a straight line day yeah okay well can you send me a copy of that yeah now we'll bother that's that's that's that's really look honourable on that that you're doing this to be honest like I thought this is gonna be a bit more of an issue on that so I'll respect lock your morals in that lock I can say you's a ethical and shit lock so I'll tell people I'll say like oh you need luck Mazdi shit lock yeah yeah now now call this black I'll flick me now and get your voice and business and that because lock from lock I mean lock deep inside more the bottom of my soul right now lock I'm like like nearly getting emotional thinking about how much on it takes just a stranger to call up and you willingly taking the four points man I appreciate that from the bottom of my soul yeah fuck mate like fuck man I'm tearing up the fuck's going on holy shit like seriously like you wear brothers brah this means we are literally related now but anyway I'll flick you the the phone on that and look maybe once we fix all this up in that lock ain't no reason we can't go get a beer maybe become blood brothers yeah I don't see any reason other yeah well no that's hectic all right mate well I'll flick that through and yeah let's let's become blood brothers and or I can when we're out and do a shit where are you right now bro or I can we is anyone around you we all do shit if you do shit right now brother fuck it there's a unlock I'm tucked away and just a little bit of me office rock I'm gonna do a shit me you do shit to you go first fuck or I hang on hang on I'll go film these two I'm not fucking doing yet a fucking camera rolling T or I'm gonna pass it down brah fuck I'm so scared what if song comes in shit man it's gonna be fucking ugly shit oh I see shit right oh I see a fucking shit right or I brought your turn do shit he's got your hands down brah hello hello hello yeah fuck sorry I fucking don't eat fucking going off just any shit I'm just any shit on the fucking ground I'll film the two I'll show you after we get off the phone or you do shit we do shit do I just need that PDF oh I just need that fun yeah all right all right no no worries back all right oh I'm gonna get some clean that up or I might well I'll send that through and yeah if you could take the points I'd be hip hop courageous nut and energy and love from beyond the grave and that shit one love brother see you later bro stay true to yourself or I don't fuck nothing you ain't seen yet man that was the strangest fucking experience ever whoa where and how and why listen to you I'll just have the fire thanks mate he must live a wild life oh man hopefully he doesn't take that down oh he's marketing oh no I reckon he can't sorry he's willing to take the point so imagine if yeah surely not it'd be insane if he was if he's willing to hear you take a shit he might be willing to pay the point made it sound like it was completely stretched out of his car trying to hold them oh well there you go there you go guys all right everyone and that brings us to the end don't forget to give us a five star review on Spotify and smash that like button and subscribe to us because a lot of you ain't subscribed and leave a comment for fuck's sake all right it keeps us all going let's get these podcasters 600 bro that would be crazy that'd be so hectic because we're the best we still sorry we still have to call oh yeah I gotta call mom we'll do that at the beginning of next week okay we're the best we're the best we're the best we're the best Michael touch the toad