 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the original stories by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a coke and now Claudia Floor me too. Excuse me, please Just the two of us, huh to my boss funny the way it goes when I saw the ad I thought there'd be a hundred I'm sorry. I don't oh come on now Johnson and grow while it's for a secretary telephone girl bookkeeper 60 bucks. What? Thank you. You ain't exactly lightening. Are you know, I guess I'm not Alright, sometimes I think you slow ones are the best off after all the longer you take to do something The more they think they're getting for their dough. I'll have to remember that That's one of the things they never tell you in school Just out. I oh no, I've been out of school a year. Never had a job though. Did you know I never did you see I got I could tell in a minute. You're pretty alright, but you kind of got that Bewildered look no wonder I have I'm just beginning to follow you say you don't have to get excited Well, come on. We ain't gonna get mink coats given out here What sort of an outfit do you think it is anyway a Johnson and grow while I my last was a writer you worked for a writer Worked is right, honey. Do I look the type to do anything else? Oh, I mean, I was surprised to hear you worked for a writer That's what I meant. He wrote eight hours a day five days a week for three years He won't wrote them little balloons for the comic book. Oh, I never thought anybody wrote those. Oh sure, honey. Oh I know what you mean. He wasn't a very educated writer. His grandma was awful You wouldn't have thought he'd gone to school at all. I guess there are all kinds of writers I sure made a fool of myself when I first started with him I used to fix up his grammar a little then he told me to stop He didn't have no call for good grammar I suppose every job has little things that you've got to learn. No, they sure do honey That's what I like about a new job Figuring out for yourself what it is the people need and then trying to give it to him I bet you're off the good at it too. There's lots worse than me Say honey, this ad calls for experience. What are you gonna tell him? But I don't really want to tell you what if they're ready to bite you tell him you work for a writer See for three years. His name is Hamilton Nible. Hamilton don't worry. I'll fix it with him if they check up Oh, but I couldn't do that. That's not right It isn't fair to you anyway, and I just see I really have honey. You got to view these things realistic That's a nice word. Ain't it? It was one of Nible's favorite words when he was talking I mean You ain't competing with me. That's terribly sweet of you. It's the nicest thing I've ever heard of anyone doing but I just came up here to talk an awful lot, don't you? I'm trying to tell you that all right. I like people who talk a lot, but we ain't got the time right now, dairy Now look anybody's gonna hire you ain't gonna hire me I don't see how you know all that when you haven't seen him Look honey in business the only thing that counts is men We women work and the men count Now there are two kinds of men in business the men who like business and the men who don't like home It's amazing how simple things are when you know all about them The men who like business would never hire you because you don't know nothing Not now anyway and the men who don't like home won't hire me Because I'm just what they don't like about but they'd be making an awful mistake if they didn't because I don't talk and hate you And I like that now listen. I'm going in first case to join now you wait right there, honey. I'll be back in just a few minutes Arlen is Mr. Well well Claudia you're a breath the fresh air. Oh, Roger. Hello. Hello darling Say you look kind of breathless. I am I've just finished three years working for a writer named Hamilton Nible We've been filling all those funny little balloons in the comic books Bully for mr. Diplo an old friend haven't even met him. This sounds like a very long story. Maybe you'd better save it for lunch No, I know what that means you're in the middle of a conference with Roger I'll stay out of your way. Let me go talk to carl. I'm afraid that isn't so easy carleton is not here She isn't sick is she quite the contrary. She achieved the ultimate in health. She's having a baby. She is Catching a friend of carlons was supposed to come in and take her place But now she's changed her mind mean you haven't any secretary at all I mean exactly that and the tones of horror in your voice express my own reaction exactly David what are you going to do? We're going to get a new secretary from the agency and in the meantime david and I have abandoned the drawing board for the Swiss I could have come down and answered the phone and done everything for you darling. You're a mechanical genius I know and you've tamed the beasts of the jungles and the officers of the law But you haven't got a chance with that switch board david's cut himself off three times this morning and as for myself I have lost count But I am experienced. I worked for mr. nibblow for three years nibblow nibblow Who exactly is this human golf stick probably some strange man my wife met in the elevator darling You're so almost right. I was coming up in the earlier talk to strange man david if she really wants to start a conversation She's been known to run them down in her car. That isn't fair It was an accident and I didn't get a ticket like someone. I know almost I think it's a charming habit I hope that sometime I'll be the strange man you run into that was sweet Just that I will go inside and leave you two to hatch your plots or whatever it is you were doing a minute ago We were trying to dissect the switch board. There's a good magazine on my desk darling I'll be with you in about three minutes. I'll be as quiet as a mouse. I want you to David don't let her watch us fumble with this phone. She'll never respect you again David are you the kind of man who likes the officer the kind who doesn't like home I'm the kind who likes you. What brought on a question like that I met the most remarkable person David you need a secretary she'd be David there's that infernal instrument again. I am going to get it this time Hello hello hello Oh nothing happened. You pushed the wrong feed if I know that Now which is the right key hello hello you have to have the two of them pointing up the same way at the same time here I see hello hello I know which two try those two over there all right Hello hello say what do you think you have there an egg beater this is a monster switchboard a monitor I use the word monster advise it there is a telephone call somewhere inside it only we can't seem to get it out Push down that one there and that one over there Hello hello Hello Kelly I'm uh I'm sure you've been trying to Yes, oh that's fine fine fine that's splendid Thanks. Goodbye Well well well that's a considerable improvement Kelly thinks he'll be able to get the heating people on the job by next Monday excuse me sir. Oh yes You uh You certainly came in at an opportune moment. Thanks. Now you better push that one back up again flip this one over Otherwise next time you're going to cut yourself off again. Why didn't someone tell us that a little early They shouldn't let you men near a switchboard and type writers All a man has to do is write three words on a typewriter and he'll never be the same again I'm inclined to agree with you madam, and I'm very grateful you happened along. Oh sure Say what happened to Johnson and growl while I down the hall They put in an ad for a secretary and when I hustled up there the place is locked up tight like a speakeasy after the cops Say this ain't a bad office you got Nice view But it sure is a mess It satisfies its purpose. Don't you even put your coat on a hanger? These hooks are murder on coats. You are hanging up my coat. I gotta use it for a desperate You are moving our papers. Please be careful with those. They're they're important. Oh sure they're important But last thursday's times you don't want that do you? Oh, here's your checkbook underneath it. I bet you've been looking for it all morning, ain't you? I know it really young woman. We're perfectly able to take care of this office. Oh sure Listen, mr. The man isn't born yet who could take care of an office. What's the matter with your girl? Is she sick? She left us. She's uh having a baby. We've asked the agency to send us a new secretary Killian and Norton Nice names. What are you draftsman? I'm not sure whom this concerns, but we happen to be after. Oh, is that so? I never worked for an architect. Well, it's a highly specialized profession. Isn't it david? Some of it is don't tell me it's so specialized you don't like to make money Rarely young woman I don't mean to be fresh but as far as the secretary goes nothing's very specialized She's got to know who you don't want to speak to and how to write good letters And she's got to like the people she's working for I think I could get to like you You're a secretary. I'm awfully sorry But we've already asked the h&d to send someone up besides we can't afford to pay very much right now Oh, that's bad, but it ain't serious the money don't matter as much as the way people feel about me I'm not altogether sure we could qualify under those terms. They're a trifle to mystical Killian and Norton good morning Mr. Killian May I tell him a once in a one second, please and I'll look around for mr. Killian Which abuse mr. Killian? I am you want to talk to a mr. Kelly? I certainly do Just a minute, please. Here's mr. Killian now Hello Kelly Yes, yes, we did get one in the hurry. Well, um, mr McBride When you say money isn't serious How little does it have to be before it gets serious? How much were you paying the last girl the last girl of 55? Oh, but she's been working here for years. I know I like this place I like a place that's small and I like to start with a couple of people who think they don't need me I'm starting at 45 50 I said 45 All right, you win When will you start? I'll be back right after lunch Well, I guess Killian and Norton have a new secretary mr. McBride You've got a lot more than that mr. Mc, mr. Norton Hey, you just wait and see So long so long Yes Okay, Kelly, I'll hear from you then about the heating as soon as you find out yourself Right, goodbye I uh See you got rid of that mr. McBride Yes, I got rid of her till after lunch How's that We uh We have a new secretary You took her That that Why she isn't the type at all We've we've never had such an aggressive person in here before she'll stir everything all up She'll put everything away where we can't find it. She'll do all Roger Do you ever think Maybe we need a little stirring Well We hire there, but we don't have to keep up. No, of course not of course not But uh, we've got a hunch that she'll work out. Oh, I'll believe it when I There's Kelly again now. Um, what did she say to do here? You push these two Hello, hello Now what I've lost it again. Claudia ready for lunch Hello, hello, oh, they see infernal machine Now what do I do? Everybody's an expert today. I might as well try it Hello, hello Hello Kelly see David. It takes a woman to run an office. I gave up 10 minutes ago. We just hired a secretary. Oh Well, I wish you'd met the one I did in the elevator. She was marvelous. She would have been a sensation Really? Well, ours is a sensation too You just wait till you see her Oh This broadcast of claudia was supervised and directed by william brown meloni How differently you greet guests at different times If there's plenty of coke in the refrigerator, you beam in relaxed fashion So your guests beam right back. They feel at home And when you trot out that tray of ice cold coca-cola, is it ever welcome? How's your supply better order a case so you can give your next guests a cordial welcome Every day monday through friday claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joe king saying orivoire And remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola Or ice cold coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes