 The Kraft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of Parquet Margarine. Every day millions of women all over America serve Parquet Margarine because it tastes so good. To market, to market, to get some parquet. Home again, home again, try it today. You like it, you love it, like millions who say their favorite margarine. Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, Parquet Margarine, made by Kraft. Gone in Summerfield tonight. It looks like something pretty important. The school board has been called in special session. Right now Dr. Pettybone has the floor. We members of the school board deeply regret that the Reverend Dr. Needham has tendered his resignation as chairman because of the pressure of his many other duties. Nominations for a new chairman to fill out his term are now in order. We'll now hear a few words from the two candidates we have nominated for chairman. Judge Hooker. If I am elected, I shall endeavor to perform the duties of this high office to the best of my modesty. Thank you. And Throck Morton P. Gilder Sleeve. If I am elected, I'll do my best. That's all a man can do, is do his best. So if I'm elected, I'll do my best. Thank you. Good Thursday night. Night, Miss Goodwin. Good night, Doctor. Good night, Doctor. Oh, girl, there. Yes, Judge, old friend. Were you intending to escort Miss Goodwin home? Yes, I was, but there's no reason why you can't come along to Horace. Sure, I'm not intruding now. Why, of course not. It'd be a pleasure to have you. My you two are certainly polite to each other tonight. We are? I hadn't noticed it. It's because we're running against each other, there's no reason we can't be friends. Is it Horace, old friend? Of course not. Well, all right. Shall we get started? Yes, after you, Gilder. No, after you, Judge. No. Oh, come on, both of you. Well, I certainly hope they elect you, Horace. I'm sure they'll elect you, Gilder. Well, what the heck? Let's talk about something else. Nice night, isn't it, Eve? Yes, it is. I just love it when it's cold and clear like this. Don't you? Judge, what makes you sure they'll elect me? Well, you're the best man for the job. No, I think you are. Oh, you're the best man. In what way? What? Oh, well, you've had more experience with children. Yes, but you've had legal experience. That's valuable, too. Yes, but you've had an administrative background. You've been a fine water commissioner. Yes, but you have a lot of intelligence, Judge. More than I have. Yes, I guess I am more intelligent than you, Gilder. What? Who said so? Well, I didn't mean it. I might have known it. And I didn't mean those other things I said about you, either. Well, I didn't mean what I said about you, hypocrite takers. Gentlemen, please. They'll never elect you, Chairman, my fat friend. They don't have a big enough chair. Why, you skinny old string bean, the only thing the school can use you for is a flagpole. It's rock, Morton. Gilder, I'm going to fight you tooth and nail. That's all? Where'll you get the teeth? No, thank you, Bertie. Well, I better get on the dishes. Just a moment, Bertie. I have a little announcement to make to Lee Roy and Marjorie. I'd like you to hear it, too. Yes, sir. What's that, Uncle? Well, it isn't so much. But last night at the school board meeting, your old uncle was nominated for chairman. That's all? Oh, that's nice. That's good. Well, I better get on with the dishes. Children, aren't you surprised? Oh, sure. You may not realize it, but being chairman of the school board is a very important position. Who's running against you? Nobody much, just Judge Hooker. That ought to be good. Well, I've got as much chance as he has. The election's tomorrow night. Now, here's the political picture. Here's the way I've analyzed the situation. Ah, yes, there's good news tonight. Lee Roy. As I was saying, there are five members on the school board. The judge is sure of two votes, and I'm sure of two votes. Who are your two votes? Well, there's Eve Goodwin's and mine. You're going to vote for yourself, Uncle? Certainly. The judge will vote for himself. That's just the kind of a double-crosser he is. How about you? Well, that's different. The judge will get Reverend Needham's vote, too. They're old friends. That means Dr. Pettibone's vote will decide who's elected. As Pettibone goes, so goes the school board. Well, why don't you just ask him to vote for you? Oh, no, my dear, politics aren't run that way. You have to work out an arrangement that's beneficial to both parties. Huh? Look, Lee Roy, I'll explain it. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Scratch my back? Figure of speech, Lee Roy. If I ask Dr. Pettibone to vote for me, I have to throw something his way. That'll take out my appendix or something. You've already had your appendix taken out. Oh, yes. I guess you don't have two. I wish I had some reason to go to the doctor. Eh, Lee Roy. Yeah? How do you feel, my boy? No aches or pains, huh? Nope. What's that? I could paint spots on my face with iodine like I got the measles. Oh, for heaven's sake. Then I could stay out of school. Neat, huh? Eh, well... No, a trick like that wouldn't be honest, my boy. Besides, Dr. Pettibone would know it was iodine. Well, there must be some way. Me, auntie, I never felt better in my life. How do you feel, Birdie? Huh? I was just asking after your health, Birdie. Oh, that's very nice of you. I feel fine, Miss Guilce. Oh, yes, sir. When I got up this morning, it was so good I said to myself, Birdie, there's one thing you got is your health. Eh, that's nice. You don't have to worry about a thing as long as you've got your health. And that's what I got, health. Yes, sir. No, Mr. Guilce, you don't have to worry about Birdie. If everybody was like me, doctors would stop today. They may not get elected, but what the heck, as long as we're all healthy. Open this box. Oh, certainly. Take your time, Peevee. What's in it? In this morning. Maybe you ought to take some of those vitamins yourself. No, no, I wouldn't say that. Excuse me. Those brute forces, huh? Did you want something, Mr. Guilce? Oh, no, Peevee. Just dropped in to say hello, friend. Oh. Eh, Peevee, I suppose you know I'm running for chairman of the school board. Yeah, so I heard. If you'll excuse me, I'll put these bottles on the shelf. Oh, Peevee. Careful, Mr. Guilce. Watch out for that box on the floor. I see the box. By the way, speaking of the school board, you know Dr. Pettibone. I'm sorry to make up prescriptions for him. I've never been out with him socially. I know, but you see him, don't you? You mean now? No. I mean, you see him when he comes in. Of course. You can't run a drug store with your eyes closed. Well, I was wondering if you might speak to him. Why don't you find out? He always speaks to me. Oh. The doctor's a very friendly fellow. I don't care so much for his wife, though. No, Peevee. I want you to speak to him about me. You know, put a bug in his ear. Oh, I don't think I should do that. Besides, where would I get the bug? Oh, God, I'm wasting my time. Good day, Peevee. Mr. Guilce, look out, that box. Can I help you up, Mr. Guilce? No. I'm shy, isn't it? You ought to be, leaving things around like that while I could have broken my say. Peevee, there's a scratch on my leg. Oh, that's too bad. I'll get the iodine. You don't have to bother. But, Mr. Guilce, if it happened on my premises... And don't think I don't appreciate it. Why? Better get right down and see Dr. Pettibone. Thanks a lot. You're a very peculiar man, Mr. Guilce. Let's see. Room 208. John Sandberg. Chorapatist. 210. Dr. Chester Pettibone. MD. Waiting room. I'll just limp a little. I'm glad there's nobody waiting. Take another look at my leg. Wish it was a bigger scratch. There, Dr. Pettibone. Morning, Mr. Guilce. Something to matter? Well, I scratched my ankle, doctor. I'd like to have you look at it if you don't mind. All right, I'll be with you in just a minute. It's nothing very serious. Just thought I wouldn't take any chances. It'd be awful to be laid up in case I was elected chairman of the school board in case I was elected. Well, I'll be with you in just a few minutes. All right, doctor, no hurry. I won't come right out and ask him to vote for me. I'll just drop a few hints. You're sly, gilded sleeve. Is the doctor in? Yes, and I'm waiting to see him. Well, I'll just sit down and wait, too. What do you want to see him about? Well, I burnt my finger this morning. I spilled bacon grease on it. What do you want to see him about? Well, I fell down and scratched my school board. I mean my ankle. Gilly, I know what you're up to. And I know what you're up to. Don't forget I was here first. We'll see about that. Old goat. Malinger. Good morning, Dr. Pettibon. You want to see me, too? Yes, doctor. I burned my finger this morning. I was here first, doctor. But my finger... But my ankle... If you want my diagnosis, I think you're both suffering from great disease... Electionitis. Really? Yeah. Well, I thought maybe I might get paired... Oh, Electionitis! Well, I'm rather busy this morning. Good day, gentlemen. Good day, doctor. Good day, doctor. Well, Gilday, I guess he's onto us. Yeah. Anyway, it was a good try, judge. All sparing love and politics. I'll beat you yet, Gilday. Not if I can help it, you old goat. Well, join the great Gilder Sleeve again in just a minute. Yesterday, as I was checking up on Parquet sales in the Summerfield grocery store, I saw Birdie looking over her shopping list. 96 cents, 84 cents. My goodness, my food money is taking a beating. Having trouble, Birdie? Yes, Mr. Wall, I sure am. Price is the way they are. It's sure hard to balance the food budget. What's that? You've got a circle in red, Birdie. Oh, that's the one item on my list that cost less today than it did a year ago. Parquet margarine. That's smart, Birdie. You can't top that wonderful flavor of Parquet at any price. It's a favorite spread for America's bread. I know that. We use Parquet on rolls and muffins and pancakes. We use Parquet all the time. And there are plenty of reasons why you should. Parquet is the margarine of craft quality. Parquet is made from only the choice products of American farms. Each pound contains 15,000 units of important vitamin A. It's rich in nourishment. I know all those things, Mr. Wall, but we like it because it just plain tastes so good. You can't beat that Parquet flavor. Right, Birdie. It's the flavor that makes Parquet margarine an outstanding favorite. After all, millions of women all over America serve Parquet just because it tastes so good. So try it. P-A-R-K-A-Y Parquet margarine made by craft. Well, it's the day of the school board election. And so far, the Great Gilder Sleeves political boom has fizzled out like a wet firecracker. A little disgruntled has dropped into Floyd's barber shop for a haircut. Well, I've been sitting up waiting for the election returns tonight, Commissioner. Huh? What do you think of your chances? Any statement to make to the press? Floyd, just cut my hair. Okay. I, um, I understand the crucial voters in the Pettibone area. Floyd, I'll thank you to my... Budget, Commissioner, I'm going around your ear. Well, if you want my advice... I'm capable of handling my own affairs. Okay. If I was you, I wouldn't overlook the woman angle. Look, Floyd, when I was... The woman angle? Sure. I was in your shoes. I wouldn't worry about the doc. Churches la Femme, Commissioner. Churches la Femme. Huh? That's French for go after the dame. Floyd, what are you talking about? Now, the thing for you to do is play up to Dr. Pettibone's wife, but she isn't on the school board. He is. Yeah, but she wears the pants in that family. And the last time he come in for a haircut, she sailed in right after him. No. She sat there and kept jabbering all the time. Take a little look here. Watch the back. Not too much off the top. But the doc couldn't even have his sideburns the way he wanted them. And when a man can't have the say about his own sideburns, what's he got to live for? His own sideburns. Yep. So if I was you, I'd kind of cotton up to the old dame. Not a bad idea, Floyd. I could call her. Say, having a PTA meeting at the school this afternoon. Mrs. Pettibone's the president. So to just drop in to make a good impression. Now you're getting smart, Commissioner. You got to figure all the angles when you're in politics. Thanks a lot, Floyd. I won't forget this. That's okay, Commissioner. Maybe when you get elected, you can throw something in Floydie Munson's way. There we can tell, Floyd. Now, if you was to fix it so that all the school kids had to come here to get their hair cut. We'll see. You know, Commissioner, you scratched my back. I scratched yours. The PTA is going to meet in. Auditorium, I guess. Must be recessed. I'm kind of early. Drop in and see our pretty principal for a moment. I wonder if she's in her office. Throckmorton! Hello, are you busy? Well, I have these papers to correct, but that's all right. Sit down. Yeah, thank you. You can only stay a minute till the PTA meeting starts. PTA meeting? Why, Throckmorton, I never saw you at one of those before. No reason why I shouldn't go. I'm a member. It's my duty as a citizen. Uh-huh. If more parents came to these meetings, they'd be bigger meetings. Uh-huh. Throckmorton, what are you up to? Who? Me? Your sudden interest in the PTA wouldn't have anything to do with the school board election tonight, would it? Election? No. Throckmorton. Well, I did think I might just talk to Mrs. Pettibone. No harm in that. I see. I figured with your vote and Dr. Pettibone... Throckmorton. I didn't say I was going to vote for you. Huh? Oh, Eve, you're kidding. No, I'm not. I couldn't vote for a man who thinks of a job like this in terms of politics. But Eve... Being chairman of the school board is a real responsibility. I know. It's a position of trust. The welfare of all our school children depends upon his judgment and understanding. I don't think that's a thing to be taken lightly. Well, of course not. I... I just want you to know how I feel about this, Throckmorton. You're right, Eve. And I want you to know that if I'm lucky enough to be elected, I'll try to be all the things you want me to be. Do you mean that, Throckmorton? Yes. Well, I think you can count on my vote. I can? Well, thank you, Eve. And I promise not to send the kids down to Floyd's for their haircuts. What? Oh, nothing. Well, Throckmorton, I think the meeting will be starting. We'd better... Eve? Yes? Now that you've promised to vote for me, how about sealing the bargain with a kiss? Now, Throckmorton... Oh, come on, Eve. Now stop being silly. We have to go to that meeting. You got time for one little kiss. Now, Throckmorton, how would that look for a principal of a school? Well, you could take your glasses off. No. Now, let Throckmorton, now you stay over there. You can't get away from me. All I have to do is lean across the desk like this. Throckmorton... Oh, huh. Hello, Mrs. Pettibon. Oh, how are you? This is why Mr. Kilda Sleeves. Hello, Mrs. Pettibon. What's on Earth are you doing on that desk? Well, uh, I was looking in the inkwell to see if there was an ink in it. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. Yes, I can fill my fountain pen some other time. Oh, Mrs. Goodwin, it's time for the meeting. Mrs. Pettibon, Mr. Kilda Sleeves would like to attend the meeting, too. Oh? He's running for chairman of the board, you know. Yes, I know. Judge Hooker is running also, I believe. He is? I mean, yes, yes. Mr. Kilda Sleeves is very interested in our parent-teacher problems. Well, I'm sure we'd all be glad to hear his ideas on the subject. So why put you down on our program for a speech, Mr. Kilda Sleeves? I have never taken no for an answer. What? And another thing, Mr. Kilda Sleeves. Yeah? I don't like the way you're wearing your sideburns. They're much too long. And so in closing, Mrs. Pettibon and members of the Parent-Teachers Association, I want to say to you that being chairman of the school board is a real responsibility. It's a position of trust. And no one should ever think of it in terms of politics. I thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Kilda Sleeves. We're all grateful to you for your splendid talk. Now, our next meeting will be two weeks from today. We stand adjourned. Oh, wonderful, Mr. Kilda Sleeves. In my opinion, you showed a fine understanding of our school problems. And what's more important, you displayed a great deal of dignity. Oh, that's what I admire, Mr. Kilda Sleeves, dignity. Nice of you to say so. I think you would make a worthy successor to Dr. Needham. And I shall certainly suggest to my husband that he vote for you. Well, I wouldn't want you to do that. Oh, now there's no use trying to talk me out of it. You insist. Thank you very much, Mrs. Pettibon. Well, I better be going. Goodbye, Mr. Kilda Sleeves. Goodbye. Snowing again. Well, looks like I'm going to be the new chairman, all right. That Mrs. Pettibon isn't so bad after all. She's got... Look at that little kid playing in the snow with his sled. It takes me back to my uncle. What's he doing around the back of that car? Tying his sled to the bumper. That's dangerous. Little boy. Little boy. Hi, uncle. Leroy. What's the matter? Young man, what are you doing? Get your arm. You can just untie that sled and right now. For corn sake. You heard me, Leroy. Don't you know that's dangerous? Risking life and limb that way? Are you kidding? I do it every night. Oh, my goodness. Well, you're not going to do it anymore. Oh. Leroy, your uncle is practically chairman of the school board. That means our whole family has to live up to it. Be dignified. Dignified? Certainly. What would people say if they saw my nephew stealing a ride like some little vagabond? Go on now and tie that sled. Well, it's pretty hard to untie it. Either one of the alibis, Leroy. Well, my fingers are cold. Here, I'll untie it. I'll get down there. Look out, Leroy. I'll have to get down on the sled to do it. What kind of a knot is this? I don't care anymore. Goodness, we're going right through town. Hey! Can't hear me. Here we go around the corner. I better hang on. God, she's going right down the main street. Oh, there's Peabee. Maybe he can help me. Peabee! Hello, Mr. Guilty Thief. Out for a spin? No. Why do these things have to happen to me if you don't stop for a minute? Hey, come here. Floyd. What's the matter, Mr. Judge? The wind's going up my pants legs. Oh, there's the judge. I hope he doesn't see me. Gilder! Oh, goat. Leaving town before the election. Powerful. Why doesn't that guy stop? Oh, we're stopping and better dragging my feet. Oh, my back. I'm stiff. I've got to get off. Mr. Gilder Slade. Hello, Mrs. Pettibone. What are you doing there in the back of my car on that sled? Sled? Of all the childish things to do. But Mrs. Pettibone. It's the most undignified. What? And you wanted to be chairman. And you wanted to be chairman. And you wanted to be chairman. And you wanted to be chairman. And you wanted to be chairman. And you wanted to be chairman. And you wanted to be chairman. Think of a few childish things to do. But Mrs. Pettibone. It's the most indignified. What? And you wanted to be chairman of this cool boy. Just wait until I see my husband. What? Good day, Mr. Gilder Slade. And get that sled on that sled! Hey, will you hear about the election? I know you're going to win, Judge. You don't have to rub it in. What? Haven't you heard, Gildy? There isn't going to be any election. Huh? Rev. Needham has reconsidered. He isn't going to resign as Chairman after all. So the whole thing is off. Well, you'd have made a very good CHAIRMAN, Judge. So would you, Gilder? No. You would have made a better chairman than I would. No. You would have made a better chairman than I would. Well, let's go down to Peevees now by his soda. You old hypocrite. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You'll hear something mighty interesting about the great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. Millions of families have found a way to make their bread, rolls, muffins, pancakes, and waffles a lot more tasty. They've been asking their grocer for parquet margarine, the margarine of craft quality. Try it. You'll like the rich, fresh flavor of parquet and you'll be delighted to learn that parquet actually costs less today than it did a year ago. Serve parquet margarine and treat your family to a wonderfully delicious spread for bread that is long going to favor it in millions of homes. Ask for parquet margarine, P-A-R-K-A-Y, made by craft. Ladies and gentlemen, this is rather a special occasion. Tonight's broadcast marks the 25th year in radio for the star of our show, Mr. Harold Perry. Yes, it was just 25 years ago tonight from radio station KZM Oakland, California, but this strange sound was heard for the first time on the air. Of course, I was just a little boy then. That's right, Al, and you've made a wonderful record for yourself since then. And now, on behalf of your co-workers and your sponsor, the Craft Foods Company, may I extend their heartiest congratulations to you on your 25th anniversary in radio. Thank you, John. I'm deeply grateful to all of you for your kind wishes. It's been a wonderful 25 years, and I only hope that my listeners will allow me to go on bringing entertainment to their homes for at least another 25 years. Good night, folks, and thank you. The Great Gilded Slave is played by Harold Curry. It was written by Gene Stone and Jack Robinson with music by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Louise Erickson, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross, and Richard McGrann. This is John Wall saying good night for the Craft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of craft quality food products. Tomorrow night, Lucille Ball will be Al Jolson's guest on the Craft Music Hall, heard over most of these NBC stations. Don't miss it. Remember, tomorrow night, for exact times, see your local paper, and be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further Adventures of the Great Gilded Slave. You wise homemakers who want to make the most of leftovers will appreciate this quick trick with craft dinner. In just seven minutes, you can cook the special macaroni that comes in each package of craft dinner. Then stir in the craft grated for that grand cheddar cheese flavor. Press this fluffy like macaroni and cheese into a ring mold and place on a platter. Cream your leftover bits of ham, poultry, or seafood, and pour into the center of the ring. There's a marvelous main dish the whole family will enjoy. So be thrifty, glamorize those leftovers. It's easy with the seven-minute macaroni and cheese you make with craft dinner. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.