 Hello everyone, welcome to another Narc Saviva Live video. In this one, we're going to be talking about the reason why you don't hear from the narcissist. Because it's like all of a sudden they just disappeared. They ghosted you. Maybe they're giving you the silent treatment. They're not responding to your text messages. They're not answering your phone calls. They're not replying to you on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or whatever it is that you use. And you want to know why? Because it wasn't always like that. They were responding to you before. They were answering your phone calls, but then something changed. And you want to know what that was. You want to know why you're not hearing from the narcissist anymore. And I can tell you that by the end of this video, you are going to know why. You're going to know why you're not hearing from them anymore. But before I begin, don't forget to hit that thumbs up button down below. Very important as it does help to get this message out there so that other viewers will see it as well. Alright, let's get into this message. This is why you don't hear from the narcissist anymore. Many of you may think that it's because of a new source, new supply. The narcissist has found someone else to replace you. So they don't need you anymore. They've got this new person. And yeah, sometimes that can be true. That can be the reason why you don't hear from them. But even in those situations, there's a reason why they have a new supply. There's a reason why they didn't just stick it out with you. Because nine out of ten times, I would say that it is the victim who initiates not only the devaluation, but the discard as well. Yes, we have the power. We initiate it. If it was up to the narcissist, I mean, as long as they're getting supply, why would they ever leave? As long as things are going their way. So why don't you hear from the narcissist anymore? It's really that simple. Things are not going their way anymore. And why are things not going their way? Well, it's because you are no longer susceptible to their manipulation. And many of you may not have even realized this until now, until I have just mentioned it. If you look back, you will see that that is really it. You're not responding to them in the way that you used to. Remember in the beginning, it used to be so agreeable. You would listen to everything they say. It's like they were so important, so special to you. Like you were so happy just to have them around. You really looked up to them and admired them. You put them out of pedestal. You respected them. You did whatever they said. You put them before yourself. But you stopped doing that, didn't you? You don't do that anymore. And why is because you're on to them. You've started to figure them out. You're no longer susceptible to their manipulation, their trickery, their deception. They can't pull their wool over your eyes anymore. They can't deceive you. They can't get went over on you like they used to. And that's all a narcissist really cares about. Are they going to have their way with you or not? And if they're not, they know well they're on to the next. They will just forget about you in an instant. And they will go and find their new supply. And it's because you're no longer susceptible. You're not responding to them in the way that you used to. So you initiated not only the devaluation but the discard as well. The ghost and the silent treatment. Nine out of ten times the victim initiates it. Not the narcissist. They're just responding to what we are doing. Trust me, if we were cooperative with them, we always listened to them and followed their demands. Everything would be fine. As long as we continue to be their fool, their doormat, their emotional punching bag, why would they ever discard us? I mean all they really need is a good source of supply. So if you are that to a narcissist, they're going to keep you around. I've said this before in other videos. If you want to keep a narcissist around, just don't question them. Don't confront them. Don't argue with anything they say. Just listen to them. Be a yes person. Be their doormat. Let them treat you however they choose to. And then they will stick around. They won't leave you. I mean in some situations they may have someone else on the side. But they will still stick with you as long as you're not pressuring them too much. As long as you're not constantly confronting them and holding them up to certain standards. Yeah, they will actually stay with you. They're not always just going to take off and leave. Not always. As long as you're doing what they want. As long as you're listening to them and you're following their commands. But when you start to deviate from that, that's when they start looking for new supply. And then they're getting ready to discard you. But even when they go off with their new supply, that doesn't mean that they have just completely forgotten about you all together. No, they may still come back. They may still hoover you again in the future. It doesn't mean that it's all over. They're going to be in the love bombing phase with their new supply. And then when the new supply starts to catch on to them, starts to figure them out, and then it moves to the devaluation phase with them, that is when the narcissist will need a positive source. Positive supply, meaning positive attention, admiration, compliments and praise. So at that time they may find another new supply, or they may hoover you and come back. It really depends on the narcissist that you are dealing with. In some situations they may come back to you. It may take some time. The love bombing phase could be just a few days. But sometimes it could be a few weeks, maybe even a few months. It all depends on how tolerant the new supply is. If the new supply isn't willing to put up with anything, it's going to be over very quickly. And then there is a chance that the narcissist may try to come back to you. But when they try to come back, I do not advise letting them back in. If you thought it was bad the first time, now when they come back, yes, they may idealize you in the beginning, but after that it is only going to get worse. And although, yes, I did say that it is the victim who initiates the devaluation and the discard, you cannot just tolerate it forever. No one can. No one can be around these knocks and not get upset, get mad, not desire to confront them at all. No one can do that. At some point, you will burn out and you will respond in a way that they do not like. And they're just going to see it as though you're threatening their authority, their superiority, and then it's going to move to the devaluation. So while we do initiate the devaluation and discard as victims, at the same time it is really outside of our control because we are limited by the fact that we are human beings, not robots. We're not built to take an emotional and psychological beating every day. No human is built for that type of treatment. So at some point it is going to affect you. It's going to weigh you down. And, yeah, they're just going to see you as no longer being this perfect, ideal supply as they saw you in the beginning. Once you begin to develop anxiety and depression, you develop all of these health problems. You get sick. They're going to take that as an offense against them as though that means there's something wrong with them. And then all they're going to do is deny it, suppress it, and just deflect it onto you and blame you for everything. They're going to be on your case all the time. They may be mocking you or just flat out accusing and blaming you just saying, why are you depressed? What do you have to feel depressed about? Why are you sick all of the time? You always need to go to the doctors. Never well. Yeah, they will say all of these things to you. They will mock and humiliate you and treat you in a condescending way. But they will never acknowledge the truth that all of the things you're going through, it's all because of them. Any health problems, whether they are mental, emotional, physical, it's usually all because of the abuse. You can only put up with it for so long and then when they start to notice the effects of what they're doing to you, then they really go for the devaluation and if you're really starting to figure them out, you're not tolerating it anymore, you're constantly confronting them, you're on their case, you're threatening to expose them, then they're just going to get rid of you and they may even start a smear campaign against you if they fear a threat to their false image, to their control or if they just want to punish you and get revenge. Honestly, you should be thankful. If you are not hearing from the narcissist, that's the best thing that could happen because there are a lot of people out there who are being targeted by the narcissist smear campaign, they're going through all sorts of things with flying monkeys, maybe their work is being affected, they're being targeted financially, the reputation is being destroyed. I mean, honestly, the best thing that can happen is that the narcissist just views you as defective, as no good, as beneath their consideration. That is the best thing that can happen when you are dealing with a narcissist and I honestly wish that that happened more for me in the past. I wish that happened right at the beginning, before I even got fully involved with them. It would have saved me a lot of time, a lot of money. It would have solved a lot of problems for me. So if you're not hearing from the narcissist, that's great. We should celebrate, let's throw it up hearty and let's pray that they do not come back because all they're going to do is make your life miserable. You're never going to be happy with them. And whatever you saw in the beginning, that false character, the illusion, none of that was real. And you're probably never going to see that again. Even if you do, it will only be for a short period of time to get you back under their control again and then it'll go away and it will return to the devaluation. It always goes back to the devaluation that love bombing does not last for long. That's just to secure you. But yeah, if you're wondering why you don't hear from the narcissist, this is it. It is because you are no longer susceptible to their manipulation. That is why you don't hear from them. They can no longer trick or deceive you. You were questioning them too much. You were always on their case. You didn't fall for the gaslighting, the lies, the future faking. And they just couldn't deal with it anymore. You weren't making it easy for them. They don't want to be around someone who is intelligent, someone who is intuitive and perceptive and aware. They don't want to be around someone like that. They want to be around someone who is stupid, someone who doesn't know what's going on, what's happening, someone who they could just pull the wall over their eyes, just a doormat, a fool, someone who isn't wise, or someone who just doesn't even care. That's the type of person they want. When you wise up, they don't want to be around you anymore. They do not want to be around someone who sees them as they actually are in contrast to how they want to be seen. They want to be seen as someone who can do no wrong. That's perfect image. It's everything you want, as though there's nothing wrong with them. Everything they do is right. And you submit to their false character, their false reality. You don't doubt or disapprove of anything about it. I mean, when you realise that, it should make a lot more sense to you. It should help you to understand what's going on with them and their new supply if they have one. They just couldn't sustain it with you, not because there was anything wrong with you, but because of all of the things that were right with you. You were wise, you were smart, you were onto them. You didn't continue to fall for their lies, their manipulations, their future faking. It's because of all of your good qualities that we're shining the lights on them. Yeah, that's why you don't hear from them anymore. It's not because of anything bad about you, anything wrong. Narcissists admire our good qualities in the beginning, but then as time goes by, those same qualities start to reflect badly on them. It starts to make them look bad, because they're not like that, and it shines a light on everything wrong that they are doing. And that's why you will find that the very things they complimented you on in the beginning, after some time, those become the very things that they hate about you. That they're always complaining about. It's like they're just looking for anything for them to complain, so that they could just put all of the blame and responsibility onto you. When really deep down they already know that it's them. They are dysfunctional people. They are not normal. They're not healthy. And yet it's funny how we expect them to respond in a normal, usual, typical or expected way. We expect them to do that, and then they don't. They devalue us. They ghost us. It's the silent treatment. And then we're so confused. We don't understand why. Because you're looking at it as though you're dealing with a mature, responsible adult, when actually you are not. It's like a child in an adult's body that had the emotional development of a two or three-year-old child. Of course they're going to respond in a very different way to how you might expect a normal adult to respond. They're going to devalue you. They're going to be childish. Call your names, insult you. They're going to give you the silent treatment. They're going to ghost you. They're going to blame you for everything. They're going to call you bad, crazy, wrong. Because they have this black or white mentality where a person is either all right or all wrong or good or all bad, which is understandable for a child to see the world and other people in that way. But once we get to a certain age in life, I mean this is usually very early on in life that this should happen, then we start to see what's in between those things. So it's not just two extremes where a person is completely good or completely bad. They're all right or they're all wrong. Then we start to see that there's something in the middle. Narcissists do not see things that way. For them it is black or it is white because they have an arrested emotional development at the age of two or three. This is why they're so childish and immature. This is why they behave like a child or some of them may behave like a teenager, not like a responsible mature adult. And they range, they throw their temper tantrums they yell, they scream and you just can't have a mature conversation with them. And that's never going to change. They are always going to be that way. So if you don't hear from them, that is great. You should be very grateful. Of course, I do understand. You feel like you knew this person. They presented this false character and maybe you fell in love with it. It meant something to you. They reflected back to you your own ideals, your own qualities and virtues. So it's hard to move on sometimes. And you're worried, you're wondering why you don't hear from them. But that's just it. You need to recognize that in fact there's really no one that you are not hearing from because who you even think that they are, who they portray themselves to be in the beginning, that person doesn't even exist. That person isn't even there. It was a false character and illusion, a facade. It's just something that they use to manipulate you to get you under their control so that they could get their narcissistic supply, which they get from getting you to validate their false self and their illusion. So this person, you thought you liked, you loved. This person who you thought was so special, this person you dream about, you think about ever since they've been gone, it's not even real. That person doesn't even exist. And I'm sorry to say that. I don't want to hurt your feelings. But I also do not want you to live in this delusion because that's what they put you in. It's a shared fantasy. And how do I know that? Well, this person was the character that they displayed to you at the beginning. If they're really so loving, so kind, so sweet, so caring, so thoughtful, so understanding, and tell me where are they right now? If they're really that person, why aren't they with you right now? Why aren't they responding to your texts? Why aren't they answering your phone calls? Why do you not know where they even are right now or who they are with, what they are doing? Do you know that they're with a new supply? Why are they with their new supply? If that false character was real and they actually cared about you, and I know some of you, you may have been with this person for months, maybe years, and you just can't believe at the entire time they could just put on an act as though they actually cared about you, as though they actually wanted a future with you. Well, if that was true, where are they now? I mean, sure it was true for you. It was real on your end. That's why you're watching this video right now because you were actually about it for real. They weren't. They weren't about that at all. They pretended to care. I could tell you that if someone really cares about you, you really matter to them. They really love you. They are not just going to be able to forget about you that easily. I mean, I can tell you that I've had relationships with people in the past. Relationships from a few years ago, others from much longer ago. Of course, these relationships lasted for quite some time. Each of them at least a couple of years. And I can tell you that every person that I was with at some level, yes, I still care. I still have feelings for everyone that I was with. I still think about them sometimes. I still remember the memories that we shared because for me, that was real. It was a real experience. I felt like I was in a relationship. We were building something together. We were going to share a future. Where are all of those people now? Those people that I was with who made me believe that they cared about me, they loved me, they wanted a future with me. These knocks. Where are they? That's how you know. It was fake. They manipulated you. They never really cared. They never really loved you. A person's feelings cannot just change overnight. It doesn't work that way. And that's how you should know that whatever they've got with this new person, that's just as fake as well. Because if they were real, if they were really about it, then they would have cared about you. But clearly they do not care about you at all. They never did. They do not love you. They do not miss you. They might miss your supply at some point and try to hoover you. But even then, they're just going to come back and do the same thing all over again. Because it is a false character, it isn't real. And it does not bring me any pleasure to tell you this. I mean, of course, you may have thought it was real. You may want to get this character back. But the character is fake. It's not real. And you have to grieve that character. But this is it. This is why you don't hear from them. It is because you're not responding to them in the way that you used to. You're no longer susceptible to them in ablation. They can't pull the wool over your eyes anymore. You're on to them. You figure them out. You were questioning and confronting them. You were no longer reactive to their tests, their attempts to get you to react. So you were no longer a suitable source of supply to them. So they began to see you as a lost cause. They no longer had any use for you. And that should be your ultimate goal when you were dealing with a narcissist. To where they no longer desire to be involved with you anymore. If a narcissist is not interested in you, they're not attracted to you. They don't want anything with you. That's great. That's what we should all aspire to achieve. Is to just completely repel these narcs away and disgust them. To where they don't want to be involved with us anymore. That is the best thing that could happen. Because what is the point? Having a bunch of narcs after you who don't even care about you. They're just using you. What is the point in that? Thanks for the donation there, Pete. Don't repeat. He or she says I believe we can suffer a condition. I am naming it. Narcissists that can induce depression. The longer you are with them, the worse the depression. Yeah, I agree with that. Definitely the more time you spend around them, you will begin to get depressed. Because they are depressed a lot of times. They're very negative. They're full of shame. And they deflect this onto the person closest to them. They just pass it off on to you. And you may identify with it. Or you may just feel like you're being sucked into a black hole and it's very difficult to get out of it. So yeah, depression can definitely be a part of it. And even suicidal ideation. Thanks for the donation, Kirsty Teco. I appreciate it. I always appreciate your donations. It means a lot no matter how small. Of course all of my work, it really just depends on the donations and the ads, the ad revenue. If people watch the ads that's the only way that I will really earn anything from this. And this is actually my full-time job. Making these videos and doing coaching sessions. But yeah, that's really it. That's why you don't hear from the Narcissist. I'm going to have a shower now and get ready for sleep. I'm going to do some more traveling tomorrow. Explore this area that I've just arrived at. I think it's Wakayama in Japan. Thank you all for joining me on another Narc Survival Live video. If this video was helpful for you it's very important that you hit the thumbs up button down below. It will help the YouTube algorithm to get this message out there to other survivors of narcissistic abuse. And you can also let me know what you think about this video down below. In the comments section I am reading your comments every day and hit the subscribe button and click all notifications so that you will be notified when I upload a video in the future. And if you would like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me you can just go to my website it is NarcSurvivor.co.uk and book a session with me on there. On the website you can find all of the prices, the information everything you need and you can also follow me on Instagram it is NarcSurvivor YouTube. So that's it for this video. I believe there is a video premiere starting in three hours. So, yeah, be sure to check that out. It's a very good video. Thanks for the donation, Hannibal. Alright, that's it for this one. Thank you all. And I look forward to talking with you in another live video, hopefully tomorrow.