 Welcome to every way woman. So there is a cost to everything including the price tag on self-worth I want to talk about what it is and what it's doing to our children and women out there Stacy Specifically you are a woman who I look up to because I feel like you really truly understand your self-worth Thank you. And What does that look like? You know I evolved I want to be honest with you I evolved the Stacy that you see today is not the Stacy that was there before and that will happen with all of us here But one of the things that I had to do was I had to be honest with who I am and be comfortable What I bring to the table and stop trying to represent something that I was not what do you mean be honest with who you were What is that moment? Okay, so for so long because of my molestation I really put a wall in front of me and so what I did was I Insulated myself to be the best at everything be the cheerleader captain So I was never in a vulnerable Position, but you can only be a farce like that for so long Well, and that's interesting because I think myself included and our children We're looking to other women in the media in particular Right and we're getting false impressions of who they really are and I'm assessing myself worth Accordingly I can only imagine what that's doing to a 12 year old child well learning self-worth and Discovering what my own self-worth is like Stacy said is evolving But what I'm starting to learn now that I have children and they're growing and I'm learning things about them Is that I'm learning that your children my children at least are teaching me Their self-worth and how I can show them what it is. It isn't always what I think it is Well, how are they teaching it? What are they doing that? Well, it's like with my um, you know Sometimes when you have kids, it's not always Like oh, they're my baby and everything's wonderful and great you have personality conflict absolutely And you don't always like each other all the time You're like who are you and did you come out of me? But it's also what I was learning was is that my daughter when when she gets to be the boss She feels like she has a lot of self-worth and she started asking me as soon as she could talk those were the One of the first questions that came out of her mouth if I had to go somewhere She want to know who's the boss of me mommy right right and I would say well You're the boss of you and that and I started telling her she's the boss of her when I am ran into a problem because then babysitters came You are not telling me what to do I am the boss It makes the excellent quite of statement and I think as parents We have to know that we are the first teacher of self-value and self-worth And I think what's happening now is because it's medicine said earlier parents are outside of the home We're surviving we're feeling guilty. So instead of spending that time. We're buying them things But we have to find what You know iPhones cars as opposed to saying instilling value and truth in them and teaching I'm teaching my daughter I have a 17 year old and 15 year old and I tell my babies all the time I need you to be true to yourself. I'll give you a quick sample. My daughter's like the way the hair natural Mm-hmm. I was mortified that they wanted to wear their hair natural. You know why? Because I was afraid of what people were gonna say about me Really what people were gonna say about me allowing my daughters to have natural hair What would they say because that's just not the way a young lady should look and for a minute I bought into that notion and I had to snap out of it and say hey These are two very beautiful young ladies and so and what they did was they weren't in an environment that didn't necessarily Accept natural hair. That's why I was uncomfortable not because of them because they wore the natural prowl But because what people would say about me we got a change that it has to be and I was proud that they were confident to do that We are something. Yeah, that was a beautiful lesson for your children to teach and for me and I think so And it's different for each child right what each child's Self-worth is so when I comes to like the women in the media now that aren't real and that and you start comparing yourselves to these Airbrushed the women do you guys remember the you there was a video that went out about a woman and they took a picture of her Made her plane and then they started doing all of these things to her and by the end She looked like she was a 16 year old vogue model. Mm-hmm. Of course, okay So that's not realistic what they're putting out there But I think it if we if we start to understand who are people our people are Mm-hmm, and we get to understand what their personalities are and how they feel loved and how they feel self-worth And we teach them on their level at their terms So then it doesn't matter there's a point about teaching the young But I think there's something to be said about Re-teaching ourselves I used to be so much more fearless and I believed in myself so much more to be completely candid And then I got to this quarter-life crisis whether it be you know when you're 25 or 42 and All of a sudden that empowerment and that worth you carried so proudly Through your parents and through these lessons when you were a child has withered away and you've become cheated The society has done that to you because what we what we've subconsciously told you was that you're not enough Because you don't have this or you haven't acquired that and self-worth comes from the inside out So I just don't know how to get it back Well, if I can tell you what you have to do is you have to decide what? Jeslyn one and it may not look like what Madison I agree with but you have to be okay with that and not really does surprise me because I know I the way that I see you I see you as someone who's extremely self-confident and beautiful Attributes about you that I'm really shocked by that and sometimes that worth is not you know We think for it to be that it's external But really self-worth starts here and it comes out let it shine ladies. We'll be right back with more every way woman stay tuned