 BDSM is no longer a dirty little secret. Today, whips, chains, and metal things are a part of pop culture. A 2015 survey found that 64% of women and 53% of men reported fantasies of being dominated. But if the idea of being strapped down and spanked is still a little much for you, let me assure you that you are not alone and also that bondage play can be as intense or as tame as you want. Which is exactly what I wanted to share with Hattie and Taylor. A couple curious about bondage. Hattie and Taylor, how are we feeling? I'm excited, I'm excited. I think I'm more curious and excited, but also a little scared. Well, we are about to enter into the Disney World of BDSM. Are we hyped? We're hyped. Let's do it. Let's do it! Yeah. Let's go, let's go. Enter at your own risk. Oh, wow. Welcome to Zedungeon. First impressions. It seems kind of forbidden. Yeah, it's that element of danger. It's just like naturally in the air here. What made you attracted to the world of BDSM? There's been a couple of times where I've encouraged us to go to a store and maybe play with some toys. And then when we walked in there, there was a whole different room of foreign objects and just leather and whips and stuff like that. And I think he was actually the first one to kind of teeter over into that section and start playing with stuff. And I was like, okay. Interesting. I mean, you can't help but look at it. Yeah. How kinky have you guys gotten? I really enjoy spanking there, I said it. Which is funny because he wasn't a butt guy before. He met me. But there has been a time that like I did it a little too hard. And so like now you're going to put a weapon in my hand. It's like, I don't know. That seems dangerous. Hey, this guy was fun. I picked this for you. There's two acronyms that I want to talk about today. So the first is BDSM. That stands for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism. And so bondage and discipline are obviously a very big part of what you do with this play. That's what all these tools are here for. Sadism and masochism speaks to the different roles that are at play. So the sadist is a person who gets pleasure from inflicting pain on others and the masochist is somebody who enjoys and gets pleasure out of experiencing some kind of pain. But the word pain is very subjective. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I think the big misconception about BDSM is that it's about torture and a victim. Yeah. It's not. Oftentimes a person who is the dominant is actually the really nurturing one because it's submissive. It's all about them. It's about their pleasure, their boundaries, their desires, their fantasies and the dominant is there to bring those to life. Okay. I never thought about that before. Yeah. Okay. Keep playing. Show me what your eyes are drawn to. Oh, the nipple clams. Yes. Give to your church. The second acronym is RAC and that stands for risk aware consensual kink. So you actually can't consent to kink until you are aware of all the risks and that is why negotiations are so massively important and the negotiation sheet that I gave you guys, you gave me your hard nose, your yeses and your maybes. Let's talk about a few of these. Okay. Now when it comes to power exchange, Taylor, you were interested in Hattie. That was a no for you. How come? I feel like if I step into a role, I'd have a hard time kind of changing up in the middle of it. I viewed that as me like giving the power like I'd be okay with not having... I mean, I would definitely like to dominate you a little, but... So what you're actually describing is known as a scene and that's when you step into character. So to your point, if you're starting off as a dominatrix in the scene, you may not want to switch midway through. Right. But you would be comfortable in another scene, maybe an hour later, maybe two weeks later, and in that position now you are the submissive. That I would be okay with. Okay. Then yeah, you can change my answer. I think what's great about thinking about it like scenes is that you're allowing yourself to have an alter ego. In this place, in this space, you get to become whoever it is that you want to be. And when you go home, that's not a reflection on who you're going to be later on. Right. Right. Safe words are really important in BDSM because part of the fun sometimes is saying, no, stop, don't, I can't. This is a word that's very separate that we wouldn't use in the act. So when you hear it, that really means stop. So what are your guys' safe words? I feel like you want to make it something random. I do. What? I don't know. Oh, I thought you were saying that was a safe word. No, no, no. Like, that's an incredible safe word. No, I have a feeling that I'll say that multiple times if we're in a fun scenario. Kiwi. All right. So all we've done is sit and talk. Yeah. Let's do it. More enthusiasm. Are you ready to play? Yeah. Let's do it. Let's do it. Patty, step right up. Strap me in. Is that comfortable for you? Yeah, it actually is. Okay. All right. I'm going to hand this over to you. Okay. You got the keys in your hands. I think this is a great time for the two of you to explore and for me to take my exit. Patty, thank you for trusting me. This was wonderful. If you want to try some BDSM for yourself, just remember it should be a fun adventure to explore with your partner. Thank you for watching Sexology. We'll see you next time.