 The only way to hurt the narcissist. The narcissist has heard many insults and criticisms. They've been involved in a lot of arguments. They're used to confrontation. They're already expecting you to be talking about them. They're already expecting you to take revenge because they've been doing this for a very long time. They're very arrogant and entitled. They lack empathy. They only care about themselves. But they've managed to turn these negative traits into something positive because they don't mind receiving negative attention. It's just as good as positive attention because it still revolves around them. So they still feel relevant and important. Even if you're saying something negative about them, it tells them they're on your mind. It tells them they have control. They have the power to make you want to say something about them, which is why they don't even care if you tell them you hate them or if you say that you don't want to see them again. It will amuse them because you're taking the time to comment on them, which shows them that you still care. Because if they were not relevant to you, you would be indifferent to them. They wouldn't have any control over your emotions or how you react. You wouldn't even need to say how you feel about them or how you don't want to see them again. Because you wouldn't care, you've moved on. So they know the difference. They know when you're still going through it. They know when you're still invested in them. Because you're still taking the time to argue with them. You're still trying to get them to see your side of things. You're still trying to get them to understand your emotions. Because you still care. You're still hurt. You're still being affected by what they did to you. But to hurt the narcissist you have to accept what you went through so that you can become indifferent to them. Because otherwise, no matter what you do, the narcissist is going to see that you're still affected. You're still hurt, which tells them they're still relevant. They're still the cause of something. The only way to hurt the narcissist is to become indifferent to them. To become indifferent to everything they put you through. That is when you will affect the narcissist. Because they see it as though as long as you are hurt or bothered about something they did. They can always come back to you. They can pick up where they left off. Because they're still relevant to you. And even if they can't come back. Even if you won't accept them. If they can see that you're still affected emotionally by what they did. They're satisfied with that outcome too. They still see it as though they've won. It's only when you disconnect and you're not affected by them. That is when they know they have lost you. And that is when it begins to affect them. Because they know that they can only get affect your emotions. But they see it as though if they can't control your emotions. Someone else must be in control. Because they put you in that condition. So they assume that the only way for you to be in that condition again. Is if you run into someone who is better than them. Because they don't believe that you can heal. And they're very jealous and competitive. They don't realise that you've figured them out. They think someone else has taken you away from them. And when they cannot make you react emotionally. And you look at them like they're nothing. That is when you're hurting them. Especially when you laugh. But they can tell the difference between you laughing at them. Because you genuinely don't care. Or if you're still mad about what they put you through. So you need to become indifferent. You need to stop taking them seriously. You need to see them as a joke. When you do that. It really gets to them. But when you take them seriously. They know they're relevant. They know they've got you. It's only when you stop doing that that they will fall back. Because they want to be relevant. They want to be the centre of attention. So if you're laughing at them because you know they're not really about anything. It will really get to them. At that point. You're affecting them more than they're affecting you. When you stop taking them seriously. They know they can't affect you. They know it's over. But to do that. You have to accept what they've done. You have to move forward and put the past behind you. Because until you finally do that. They're going to be having a field day. They're going to be getting a lot of pleasure and enjoyment from it. Because they're in control. And they will be stalking you. They will be watching you to see if you're still affected by them. Because they study your behaviour. So if you're even taking the time to comment on something about them. They know you're still being affected. They know you haven't healed. But when you no longer desire to comment on anything. That's when they know that you have healed. That's when they know that they can't affect you anymore. And it means that you have won. You have defeated the narcissist. Because you don't even care about them anymore. You don't even care about what they're doing. And they can feel that. They can tell that they have lost their power over you. They can tell that they have lost control. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate. My PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching Inquiries. You can email me at coaching at narksurviver.co.uk. Thank you for watching. And I'll talk to you soon.