 You're about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business for the next hour and 30 minutes This program will present in person such bright stars as Don Cornell Jimi Duran Rex Harrison Judy Holliday Jackie Miles Karen Miranda Lily Palmer Meredith Wilson and my name darlings is through the banquet the National Broadcasting Company presents the big show America The big show 90 minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's all-star festival And here is your hostess the glamorous unpredictable to Lula Bankhead We've had so many letters asking how we've able to put an hour and a half show together with so many big stars every Sunday Well darlings, I'll tell you putting the show together isn't the big problem the producer director the writers and performers put the show together on Saturday But the dressmaker the massers the hairdresser and makeup man start putting me together on Tuesday So we all meet right after my breakfast five o'clock Saturday afternoon Well, that's our first rehearsal where I meet old friends and make new enemies Now yesterday for instance, I arrived at the rehearsal and Meredith Wilson and the orchestra and chorus were already there Gentlemen here she comes Meredith yes, sir miss Bankhead The flag why isn't it up? Well, I meant to raise it while the boys were playing that but the saber keeps getting in my way Do I have to wear it every rehearsal? You don't have to wear it use the saber to lead the band Well, I tried that but I lost half my violin section Butterfingers All right forget the saber can I get off the horse too? No very well as far as the rest of the new gentlemen. Good morning I'll report him to Connell patrillo a Boy go down to the drugstore and get me some coffee me Yes, you what's your name Don Cornell? Get me the coffee. Yes ma'am a container of coffee a fifth. Oh miss Bankhead No, Don Cornell is one of our guests this week a guest of whom I was booked on the show for what offense No, you don't understand I sing. Oh a stool pigeon, huh? No, I'm more of a canary Just a minute boy. You seem a little confused start all over. Well, you may remember me when I sang with Sammy Kay Oh Sammy Kay. We had him on the show. Oh, yes. He made that Walter Mitty picture and inspector general. No, that's Danny Oh Danny. Oh, I know Danny very well. He has a television show every Wednesday night. That's Thomas Oh, oh Thomas Meredith. Why didn't you tell me we had John Charles Thomas on the show this week? No, Miss Bankhead this young man is Don Cornell. No, well, why is he trying to pass himself off as John Charles Thomas? I Didn't say I was John Charles Thomas. Well, if you're not get me some coffee Here I just got this you can have some of mine. Oh, thank you darling. You sure you don't mind my taking your coffee No, no go right ahead. I have another container here What have you gotten this thing coffee? Yes, you asked for coffee You are young aren't you darling? Lula darling, how are you? I've never seen you looking better. Well, not me mr. Harrison. I'm Meredith Wilson. Oh, I beg your pardon Here I am pet I'm so glad you're going to be on our program this week. Where's Lily? Didn't she come with you? Well, Lily be here in a few moments She stopped along the road to do some Easter shopping. She went to buy some eggs of all things I said to her but Lily why bother buying eggs when we're going to be on the show with to Lula Bankhead Well to do it's gonna be very nice being on the show with you how many weeks rehearsal do we have? Do we go out of town for the tryout or do we open cold on Broadway? Darling? We open tomorrow Tomorrow tomorrow night. Oh tomorrow night is you had me frightened for a moment you were you're joking of course on this show We don't joke. Oh No, no, I've heard Of course I listen every Sunday you see after working in the theater or week Sunday is my day of rest So I listened to your show. I tried to keep as far away from entertainment as I can Well, I tell me rex, how was your play doing on Broadway a bell book and what is it? Bell book and candle. Yeah. Yes, our play is very big hits. I hate to boast but we're playing the standing room only Oh, well, don't worry about that darling someday. You may be able to fill the seats, too Very good, but our play is rather different in it I portray a man who falls in love with a young lady who is a witch. What's so different about that? But she's a real witch who isn't Yes, I thought you'd understand You see when she falls in love with me and becomes my wife she stops being a witch really usually it's the other way around What am I doing on this show? What do you plan for me? Well, I hadn't really thought about it Rex But it would be nice if you did something from the classic Shakespeare Shaw are reading from one of the poets Keats. Shelly. Well, how about doing something from Milton? Oh, Milton would be wonderful darling good. I have a passage here from Milton. I I brought it along it goes like this Ladies and gentlemen on behalf of the national broadcasting company. I would like to be half of the national broadcasting company Well, come on folks. You're the jokes. I've got an audience when we're backstage. Oh, that's Milton Yeah, you didn't recognize him nice. Yeah, you must have some of some of my kids He keeps asking me to call him uncle milty. He must be some relation of mine. Yeah, he sells petrol. Yeah Taxi go petrol. Oh, look a rex ago Everyone is quite familiar with that Milton. We'll find something else for you to do pet pet. No, that's nice. Let's do that No, darling, I mean you might do something from one of the things you've been in now There was Anna and the King of Siam and then there was Anne of the thousand days You're rather partial to the name Anna, aren't you? Yes, very good. I never thought of that way Well, you might be interested to know there's a play being written by a man named kefava. It's called anaesthesia I must investigate that thank you Well, when do we start our rehearsals in quite a large orchestra you have here they don't seem to be playing Do they just sit around here all through the rehearsals? Yes, darling It's one of the rules of the American Confederacy of musicians No, you mean the Union don't dare mention that name on this program Thank you And one Yankee Rex may I introduce you to one of our other guests come here boy? Yes, Miss Bankhead Rex. This is Sammy Kay No, my name happens to be Don Cornell. Oh, yes. Yes, mr. Cornell mr. Burl. How you do? The name is Harrison oh, yes Rex Harrison in the Burl book and candle And our orchestra is waiting for all the singers on the show to get here so they can rehearse with them You see here. I am to Lulu. Oh, yes, darling. Yes. He is a wonderful singer Carmen Lombardo I'm terribly embarrassed about not remembering your name after all I've known you for well How long has it been darling ten years, huh? Oh, no no not that long Well, it's been at least five years. I was playing a little foxes. You came back stays to see me remember No, no, I never saw the little foxes. Oh, then it must have been three years ago when I was in private life Mm-hmm. I was in Hallyu three years ago. Oh, well, then it must have been when I began this radio program about six months ago No, I was in South America six months ago. How do you do my name? Mr. Lula Bankhead? And you know our other guest this is a Rex I did not see you. Hello Rex. Carmen. I haven't seen you for a long time. I have missed you. How about a little kiss for Carmen, huh? Yes, indeed All right Miss Miranda, may I present Mr. Rex Harrison? We have just met. Yes, Carmen. Why don't you start getting familiar with our script instead of our guests? Are you acquainted with our show, Carmen? No, I have not heard this program yet I have been very busy in my own radio show in Brazil. Oh, you have your own program. That's nice And what sort of a program is it Carmen? Well, I talk, I sing, I say things like Darling Isn't he colossal, forte, bonitão, um sweet? Um grande abraço, Broadway. Lembranças para o Herald Square You do that kind of a program in Brazil? Oh, yes, it's very very popular And there is a famous actress who does another program just like this in Argentina. Oh, and what is the name of that program? All about Eva Carmen, my pet, why don't you rehearse the song you're going to do on our show tomorrow with Meredith Wilson? I'll be very glad to, Lula All right now fellas, I know there are no curves on my baton, but keep your eyes on it. Will you please? I've been to Chicago and I like Chicago I've been to New Yorkers and I like New Yorkers I've been to New Hampshire and I like New Hampshire. I like Lord East, South, West But the place I like most is the best The place she likes most is the best, the best Get along a little hot doggy Get along I want to go to a big empty space For the cows and the cantaloupe's plane Gonna be a cowboy cow, gonna sit in my car, row in my hips, y'all in kayak She wanna hit, y'all in kayak I want a horse with some good looking chaps I want to chew up the dust like they say Gonna put me on some boots, gonna ride me on some boots And hips, y'all in kayak She wanna hip, y'all in kayak When I'm hip, she'll kayak I'll go in yorker I don't know she's what I'm saying But I have lots of fun just to sing I want to go where they don't have no fence When I'm cool, let me go that way And my day will be full When I throw a little boy Hips y'all yo, hEP FUNK Hips y'all yo in kayak Here I can't speak, here I can't swallow To them is the best I want my horse, my hair I want a horse with some good looking chaps A horse with some good looking chaps A horse with some good looking chaps Give me a cow that I can punch Give me some buttons and some boots And I'll bet you that I'll record that I stay I'm gonna be a cowboy girl Gonna sit in my car... Wait. Darling. And here's your yo and I, here's your yo and I, here's your yo and I, here's your yo and I. Well, that was divine, darling. But we had sort of planned on your doing a song that you identified with a, a South American tune of some sort. Well, Tallulah, I know the song is in English, but it has the rhythm of a song from South America. Oh no, darling, not at all. Well, I do not expect you to understand Tallulah after all. You are, you are a Yankee. Watch your language, buzzer. From where I come from, you people in Alabama are Noraners. Meredith, please, will you have those boys stop that? Well, that's more like it boys. Hi, fellas. They're whizzing at you, Judy Holiday. Judy, darling, darling, darling, you're late. You know that old routine, drop the handkerchief. Pardon me, is this your handkerchief? Haven't I met you someplace before? Yes, I know that old gag. I never fall for it. He didn't fall for it either. Let me introduce you to some of the people on the show this week. This is Rex Harrison. How you doing? Miss Holiday, this is a great pleasure. I want to tell you how much I enjoyed your stage version of Born Yesterday, and I enjoyed the picture even more. And I hope you win the Academy Award. Fresh. You misunderstand me, Miss Holiday. I was simply paying a tribute to your talent as an actress because I think that your performance in Born Yesterday was one of the finest third-dimensional portrayals. It's been my good fortune to see you in a theater for many a season. Get a load of that accent. You boy. This young man, darling, is Don Cornell. Hello, Miss Holiday. This is a pleasure. How you doing? Cornell? Let me tell you right now, before we get involved, my marital status is of no concern of yours. And it has nothing to do with the show. And you're to rehearse the show and read what's in the script. The only thing I'm interested in is this program. That's the most important thing in my life. Now is that clear? Sure. You still single her? Judy! Now look, darling, can't we have an intelligent conversation for a change? Well, what could be more intelligent than a college boy? College boys could teach you the three Rs. and a husband. Where as they are in getting a husband? Raising a family, that's where. Now for the last time, Judy, I'm not interested in college boys. And vice versa. And I'm not interested in...versa. Judy, do you know, darling, I'm beginning to doubt you can talk on any other subject. Oh sure, I can. Don't cost to ask. Alright, let's talk about show business. Shoot! Don't tempt me, darling. How do you like show business, Judy? Oh, fine. Especially when the spell is waiting at the stage door. Oh dear, here we go again. All roads lead to men. So why'd you take a detour? I'll get you off the subject. I want you to meet another guest. This is Carmen Miranda. Miss Holliday, Carmen Miranda. Miss Holliday? Oh, hey, didn't I meet you once, Miss Miranda? Well, I don't remember exactly. When she wanted to coast, didn't I meet you in LA? Oh, CC, LA. And then I met you last year at a party here in New York? Oh, CC, and why? Back to the college boys again. Now, Judy, will you be a good neighbor and stop confusing our guests from South America? Hey, that's an idea. Why don't you take a cruise to South America? I have no intention of taking a cruise to South America. It's wonderful. You go on a pleasure cruise and mingle with the passengers and you meet a fellow. I have never yet met anyone on a pleasure cruise. I could tolerate. Did you ever try a tramp steamer? Judy, why are you so anxious for me to go to South America? I figure if you go to South America, maybe they'll take it away. Oh, this is a waste of time. Carmen, why don't you rehearse your song? Well, I heard her so ready, Tallulah. Oh, well, then you don for you. You, yes. Well, you sing your song now. What is it, darling? I'm going to sing my latest RCA Victor recording, a song written by Nick Kenny called My Inspiration. Melody? How about the music? All right, man. Get in there and play for Cornell. All right, fellas. Very funny. Let's have the song now. You surprise me. You really have a beautiful voice. Well, thank you, Tallulah. And your really going place is done. Thank you. And one place you can go right now, darling, is down to the drugstore and get me some coffee. Well, look who finally got here. Lily Palmer. Lily Palmer. Lily Palmer. Lily Palmer. Lily Palmer. Lily Palmer. I bought in George to make it come out even, because otherwise somebody's going to be left over without a fella, and you know who that's going to be. Will you stop worrying about me? Oh, all right. But I know ends up winding the victory. Well, every time I see you, please. Oh, thank you, Tallulah. And you grow more every time I see you, too. Isn't he sweet? Thank you, I think. Oh, by the way, Tallulah, I've been wondering about my wardrobe for tomorrow. What do you usually wear on your show? Well, I usually wear a high neck, a low-sleeved, long-sleeved cocktail dress. A cocktail dress, uh-huh. An old-fashioned. No, darling, it's quite attractive. What were you planning on wearing, Lily? Well, I have a sleeveless dinner dress. A sleeveless? Oh, well, in that case I'll wear my V-neck denigale. Well, I could wear my dinner dress with a capital V-neck. Oh, it's a contest, huh? Okay, I'll wear my new dress with the W-neck. Oh, it's in the theatre. Well, then, uh... Then I think I'll wear my off-the-shoulder gown. All right, then I'll wear my strapless dress. Do that, huh. And I'll wear my strapless backless gown. I have a wide belt. It's a highly dramatic scene on the show and bare my soul. Tell me, Gypsy, I mean Lily. Uh, what are you and Rex going to do on the show? Well, I don't know. Anything Rex decides. Oh, no, not me, darling. Anything you want to do? No, Rex, you must decide. No, Lily, you decide. No, Rex, I won't decide. You decide. Well, somebody decide. Rex will decide, Tallulah. No, I won't decide. Speak, Rex. Here, boy, speak. No, if Lily won't decide, I am walking out. Just a minute, Rex. If you're going for a walk, somebody better take you. Now, Rex, we're not going through this again. The last time we were guests on a show, I decided. And then you decided, I hadn't decided on the right thing. But that was after we had done what I decided. Even Max said I had decided the right thing, so you went running to Phil and, of course, Phil sided with you because he's been married to Marsha. And you know very well Marsha used to be on my side until she divorced Henry because he was already married. And it was then I decided I would never make a decision about deciding anything until you had decided. And if I had to do it all over again, I would do it all over again. Not here, you won't, sister. Now, look here, you two. This is such a childish argument. After all, you must have had something in mind that you two could do when you decided to come on the show. I didn't make the decision to come on the show, Tallulah. Well, I certainly didn't decide. If you recollect, Rex, that night at dinner when you told me we had been booked to go on Tallulah banquet show, didn't I say, please, not while I'm eating? Oh, you did. Yes, but didn't I offer to try and get out of it by going to the dentist and having all my teeth out? No, you did. Oh, sure. You'd have all your teeth out. And I would have to go on her show alone. I saw through your little scheme. But you objected when I took a shower and offered to stand in front of an open window and catch pneumonia to keep from going on the show with her. No, you did. Oh, no, no, no, no. No offence meant to lose. No, no, of course not. Of course not. I realize you're both upset. And you'd say things in the heat of an argument. Why don't you and Rex step over to that window and out on the terrace in Kuloff? Oh, thank you very much, Lula. I think she's right, Lily. Come along. Oh, very well. Oh, wait a minute. Look. Oh, Tallulah, we just noticed that there's no terrace. No, you did. Well, I tried. You have been listening to Meredith Wilson, his orchestra, and chorus. I'll take just a moment before we continue to say that this is NBC, the national broadcasting company. The Big Show. This is the national broadcasting company, Sunday Extravaganza, with the most scintillating personalities in show business. The Big Show, the Sunday night feature of NBC's All-Star Festival, is brought to you by the makers of Anacin, for fast relief from the pain of headache, by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television, and by Chester Field, the cigarette that has for you what every smoker wants, mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste, the cigarette that brings you Bing Prosby and Bob Hope. The big stars in this program are Don Cornell, Jimmy Durratti, Rex Harrison, Judy Holiday, Jackie Miles, Carmen Miranda, Lily Palmer, Meredith Wilson, and his Big Show Orchestra and chorus, and every week your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead. Well, darlings, every year I am determined to get into the Easter parade, and every year I oversleep. But last night I set my alarm for five o'clock, I was up at five this morning, out on Fifth Avenue at six o'clock, and what do you think? The whole parade had overslept. I was so mad I could hardly contain myself, I thought I would burst. So I went home and loosened it. And the worst thing about it was I had a date with a gentleman who was going to march in the parade with me. Hello, Chilu. Hello, Chilu. And if I ever get a hold of him, I will throttle him. Goodbye, Chilu. Come back here, I'm talking about you, Jimmy Durratti. Jimmy, I want to ask you a question. Okay, which way is the television camera? Didn't we have a date to march in the Easter parade this morning? That's right. Where was you? Where was you? I was there. I was all dressed up. I was wearing my high silk hat, my cutaway coat, my striped trousers, and my genuine hop along Cassidy's shoulder holster. I was dressed to kill. I was a picture from the top of my head to the tips of my black and white shoes. Black and white shoes, with that outfit? A black shoe on my left foot and a white shoe on my right. Well, I don't know how I missed you in that outfit. While I was waiting for you, I was walking hither, thither, and young. Three of the cutest cock-a-spaniel jewevers thought. One's a male, one's a female, and a Doberman pincher. A Doberman pincher? Well, that's that ferocious-looking dog, isn't it, Jimmy? Oh, he only pinches people named Doberman. Chilu, I've got a million of them. All I know is, Jimmy, that you stood me up. I wanted to see that parade. You should have seen it. What a mass of color. Little white bunnies, tiny yellow chicks, and the cutest pink elephants. I know all about them. They started from my apartment. But as long as I missed the parade, Jimmy, tell me, darling, what were the women wearing? Clothes. I know, but what are the new fashions? Well, the skirts look shorter, and the men look longer. Sure, the skirts. That's interesting. Can you describe some of the things you saw? I mean, what was the predominant color? Tan beige. Tan and beige? That's right. 54 gauge of course. Oh, that tan and beige. But didn't you see anything else? I saw plenty. I was on a windy corner. No, Jimmy, Jimmy, I'm talking about the outfits. They wore the dresses. I couldn't see the dresses. They were all wearing four wraps. Oh, what for? They were cold. That's what thug. Right as I wrote, that should hang by the roof. Everybody was covered up with their chins and chiller. Sixth Avenue never looked like that before. Sixth Avenue. Jimmy, the Easter parade is on Fifth Avenue. Now, one of you didn't meet me. Maybe you were on Sixth Avenue with a hoi, polo. While I was there, I met one of the highest of all the poloys. Eddie Jackson of Clayton Jackson and Durant. Well, Mr. Jackson, as long as you're here, darling, how about you and Jimmy giving us one of your famous songs? Well, say, Rufus, Rastus, Johnson Brown. Eddie! Say, who's that a-knockin' at the door below? And who's that a-shippin' out there in that hail and the snow? I don't know. Well, who's that a-knockin' at that Mr. Rufus Brown? If it is, let's tell him what's on our mind. Let's poke a dunk. Yeah, well, oh, and one of you said you were gonna bring it. Don't tell me it's meltin' away, just like the snow last spring. Now, brother, you've had your say. And you've had your way. Now, listen to what we've got to say. Hell, hell, yeah. Rufus, Rastus, Mr. Johnson Brown. What you're gonna do when the rent comes round? What you're gonna say? How are you gonna pay? Tell her. Tell her to never hit a business as you hear me, boy. Still judge him in day. Yeah, and you know and I know that rent means dough. Landlords gonna put us out in the snow. Now, Rufus, Rastus, Mr. Johnson Brown. Yeah! What you're gonna do when the rent comes round? Yeah, Mr. Rufus, Mr. Rastus, Mr. Johnson Brown. What you're gonna do, boy, when that whole rent comes round? You got trouble with what you're gonna say. And how you're gonna pay? Tell her. You never had a business as you hear me, boy. Still judge him in day. Well, you know and I know rent means dough. That way a law is gone or put us out in the snow. Get pale, column. Rufus, Rastus, Mr. Johnson Brown. What you're gonna do when that whole rent comes round? Rufus, here's that music. Here, come on. You bet. But we want you to know. Yeah, you gotta save your money, Rufus. You just gotta save your dough. And Rufus, we're talking to you like a lifelong friend. And if you don't want your lesson pal, it's gonna be the end. Now, Mr. Rufus, Mr. Rastus, Mr. Johnson Brown. Say, bro, what you're gonna do when that whole rent comes around? Say, he's got two first names. He's got two last names. And after the end of our story, let's go home, Jane. Now, Rufus, Rastus, Mr. Johnson Brown. What you're gonna do when the... When we ask you to try Anderson for the relief of pain due to a headache, neuritis, or neuralgia, we are not asking you to try a new or unproved method. For there are many people listening in now who have been introduced to Anderson tablets by their own dentist or physician. You who have received Anderson this way know the effective, incredibly fast relief these tablets bring. Anderson is like a doctor's prescription. That is, Anderson contains not just one, but a combination of medically proven, active ingredients in easy to take tablet form. People by the thousands are using modern Anderson today instead of other ways. Doesn't their experience seem worth following? Try Anderson the next time you suffer pains from headache, neuritis, or neuralgia. You'll be delighted with the results. Ask your drugist for Anderson today. Anderson is spelled A-N-A-C-I-N. Ladies and gentlemen, we're not going to let this lovely Easter Sunday go by without a musical tribute to this happy season. Meredith Wilson has written a lovely Easter song for the occasion, and here are Don Cornell, Meredith Wilson, and the big show orchestra and chorus, along with me, to introduce this Easter greeting. A pleasant little fellow came from Mars to pay a visit, and he remained the whole long winter through. Each Sunday he'd proceed to a different church and creed, and he always found himself an empty queue or two. In fact, he often noticed quite a few. Yet far from being tiring, all his Sundays were inspiring. Then one sunny day, all innocent indeed, he tried to pay his normal Sunday visit, but the church was jammed with people. From the cellar to the steeple, and the poor, bewildered man cried out, what is it? The bells of the hill are ringing, ringing once again. There's a smile on the face of this weary world that seems to save a man through time. The bonnets again in nodding, nodding to improve, while the folks walked to church as they did so long ago. And there's a basket on the dining room table with fancy Easter eggs for all. And there's a lily in all his shining in the hearts of men, with the joys of the hosts that have risen once again. There's a basket on the dining room table with fancy Easter eggs for all. And there's a lily once again. Now come here, darling. Why aren't you wearing one of your famous fruit hats? They're so new fishes looking. Please, Tallulah, no jokes about my hats. They are very expensive now. 75 cents a pound, even more expensive in cans. Yes, bananas are expensive. But it must be very convenient when people come to the house and you run out of stuff, you just pass the hat, I suppose. Please, Tallulah, everybody makes jokes about my hats. That's why I didn't wear them. You're right, Carmen. It isn't very hospitable among my part and I'm very sorry, darling. If I make another joke about your hat, I'll eat it. Thank you, Tallulah. I'm sure I'm not dressed up as I should be. But you know, I brought a brand-new green Easter hat to go with my new green Easter suit. Oh, that sounds lovely. Why didn't you wear that, darling? I couldn't. It doesn't match now. The hat got ripe, but the suit didn't. Well, you should never keep a hat in the refrigerator. I'm always fascinated by those extremely high platform shoes you always wear. They make you look so tall. And then on top of that, the big hat. Well, how tall are you, Carmen? Well, I'm five feet, five inches. Five, five? Yeah. Well, the hat certainly makes you look taller and the platforms on those shoes add a lot to your height. How tall are you without them? Five inches. Carmen, I've long been admiring that exciting rhythm you use when you sing. Is that something that you yourself invented? Oh, no, no, Tallulah. In South America, everyone knows this rhythm. Even the little children can do this rhythm, too. And there are so many little children there. I don't want to. And now, how about the song you're going to do for us now? What is it, Carmen? Mamma Yocchiara. Oh, yes. I want my mama. Ladies and gentlemen, Carmen Miranda and her Brazilian quartet in a famous rendition of Mamma Yocchiara. Mamma Yocchiara. Mamma Yocchiara. Here's a word from RCA Victor. Fill your life with a new magic world of fun. Enjoy yourself. Have a highland fling. Yes, that's just what it is. When you and your family start enjoying RCA Victor's new 17-inch television console, the Highland. It's fun, it's fine, and it'll be the favorite of your family. That's right. The most famous name in home entertainment, RCA Victor. Now brings you the best in 17-inch television with the new Highland console. There's a lot we can say about the Highland, but you just have to see it with its remarkable pictures, clear, bright, and steady, its distinctive console cabinet, beautifully styled, beautifully finished, and priced to fit your family budget. Then you'll know why this is million-proof television. Now over two million American families have tried, tested, and purchased RCA Victor Television. Let your family in for a Highland fling with RCA Victor's exciting new Highland television console. See it at your RCA Victor dealers tomorrow. Judy, it doesn't come in my round to make South America sound exciting. Big deal, South America. Stay home, start record, open a can of mosquitoes, and you got it. Judy, you sound bitter. To me, it sounds wonderful. I think it must be exotic. I think it sounds so romantic and exciting. That's what you think. Everything on this show is what you think. I think this. I think that. I think it's wonderful. I think it's exciting. Why don't you ask a person what they think? Especially a person like me who took one of those pleasure cruises and what happened to me down there. Don't ask me. All right, what happened, Judy? Don't ask. Lunching. To spend a few days. A boomer boomer chick boom. I went to Havana. To shoot. To look and hide. To study. To learn how to say yes in Spanish and Portuguese and then when I got down there nobody asked me. The answer's with you. A riba. And how I skimp and save all when I eat those lunch counters, those crummy chicken salad sandwiches. Chicken salad. How I hate the taste of that tuna fish. I ink them tax. A riba. To get a fella, but another girl attached herself to me on the boat. Oh, Judy, baby. Where are you, honey child? A girl, I said. Over for you, Judy. I declare. I've been all over this boat. I declare, Judy, everybody on this boat must have the same idea because there's nobody on here but girls. Well, even the Oaks is all girls. But I did think of something, honey child. Look at the captain's table for dinner. Ah, who wants to eat with her? Oh, you mean? A riba, a riba. Well, this trip is certainly a waste of time and money. That's all I can say. Well, there must be some men on this boat. Well, yesterday I heard a man's voice in cabin 4G. That's my cabin, Judy. I'm sorry I came on this trip. I wish I'd gone where I wanted to go up to Sun Valley. I know a lot of fellas up there. It takes a lot of money. Oh, I don't understand about money, Judy. I don't know anything about money. I just don't know anything about money. Well, I'm from Virginia Hills. Save my money. I figured I'd come out on the boat and I'd meet a fella and we'd dance and then we'd go out on the deck and look at the stars. And he makes a pass at me and I slap him and he walks away and then he won't talk to me. I mean, honey child, but there are no fellas on this boat. A riba. Now, what kind of a fella are you thinking of marrying, Judy? A single one. A riba, a riba. But what I mean is, would you prefer a young man with no money or an old man with a lot of money? A young man with a lot of old money. Let's go over the boat once more from stern to stem, stem to stern. Maybe there's a stowaway. Man overboard! There's a man on this boat somewhere. Come on, Judy, let's go get him. Here are two tobacco salesmen who are welcome at my door anytime. Now here's Chesterfield's answer to Serino de Bergerac. Bob Hope. I'd top easy, Dad, but we only have a minute here to sell Chesterfield's. Better tasting Chesterfield is the only cigarette that combines for you mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste. Mildness is a cinch to prove. You just make Chesterfield mildness test. You know, open a pack and enjoy that milder aroma. Then smoke them and you'll know that Chesterfield's a milder. And Chesterfield leaves no unpleasant aftertaste. That fact has been confirmed by the country's first cigarette taste panel. So make our cigarette your cigarette. The reasons go together like this. By Chesterfield, Chesterfield, the one that proves its case. Yes, Chesterfield's a milder, milder plus no aftertaste. So, open a pack and give them a sniff. Then you'll smoke them. Well, darlings, we have a lot more show for you. Rex Harrison and Lily Palmer are going to do a beautiful dramatic spot. We've got Miles coming up with one of his famous monologues. And Jimmy Durante and Judy Holiday have a surprise. And Don Cornell will also be back. But first, Ed Hurley, he wants to say... This portion of the program has been brought to you by the makers of Anison for fast relief from the pain of headache, neuritis, and neuralgia. By RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television. And by Chesterfield, the cigarette that has for you what every smoker wants. Mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste. The best cigarette for you to smoke. And now, Tallulah, if you'll bring your chance. Thank you, Ed. This, darlings, is NBC, the national broadcasting company. This is the big show. And here is Tallulah Bankhead to introduce her next guest. And it's a pleasure to present him a clever young man with a style of his own which has been rocking the Better Night Club for many a year. That would be none other than the appealing and personable little fella Jackie Miles. Ladies and gentlemen, and thank you, Tallulah. G is wonderful to be on the big show and radio particularly. I'm crazy about radio because radio is the medium that really made the American home happier. I don't know, Tallulah, if you have a television set in your home and you're nice people listening have one and if you do, you know what television is done to the American home. It's room, mine. I was introduced to television through my wife. I'm married, you know. You don't think I look like this from an accident. One and a half ago, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and my wife was talking to me and suddenly she interrupted herself to tell me something. Tallulah, you must allow me that little joke because nature has been so kind to you ladies. It's given you a beautiful body, wonderful head of hair, gorgeous eyes, lovely nose, perfect teeth, beautiful mouth, then put a tongue in it and spoiled a whole job. Well, my wife said to me, Jack, she said, how much does it cost us in the course of a year for entertainment? I said, well, honey, in the business I'm in, it's a lot of money, about $10,000 a year. Anyway, that's what I put down. So she said to me, good gosh, she talks like that, you know, Connecticut girl. She's what a disgusting waste of money. She says, sweetheart, I know where we can get a television set for $500. She said, we stay home and watch the shows on television. We'd save $9,500 the first year and $10,000 a year after that. See, wives have the wonderful faculty for saving money the husband didn't make yet. The money he makes, they got a budget book for. Well, I bit for it, I said, okay, honey, go ahead, the kid didn't like it anyway. She went out and ordered a television set. Now, I'll never forget this, if I live to be a million, and I know I look like I got three days to go. The set arrived on a Thursday afternoon at 4.30, at 4.25, there was setting the intent up on my roof. At 4.26, my doorbell rang. I opened it and there was my landlord, the happy monster. I said, what are you doing here? It's so far from the first. He said, I understand you bought a television set. I said, yes. He said, and they're putting the antenna up on my roof. Didn't like the way he said my roof. I said, I'm paying rent. I don't want the whole roof just a little pride for the, you know. He said, we don't allow it. I said, how can you say that? I'm stuck $500 for the set. You'll break my kid's heart. He said, well, we don't exactly don't allow it. If you sign a new lease with a 15% increase and a 15% increase, we allow it. When you can't break your kid's heart, so I broke mine. I signed it. Five o'clock, the set was completely installed and that's when the trouble started. My boy, in the meantime, was running around the neighborhood yelling, my daddy bought a television set. At 5.30, every kid in the neighborhood was in my apartment. Sixty-two kids. Watching the show, you should excuse the expression called howdy-duty. Twenty-one kids trying to get into the bathroom at the same time. The other 41 too busy watching the television set they made from the living room. Until 7.30, after Kukla Fran and Ali, every mother came into our apartment and dragged the kids out and mad at us because the kids had missed their dinner as though it were our fault. We cleaned up the place, it was about 9.30 when we got it about ready, when all the fellas in the neighborhood came down to watch the fights. You know as well as I do, friends. You just don't sit around a television set and watch fights. No sociable bets. They emptied my icebox, drank up my whiskey and I didn't cash a bet. That wouldn't bother me but what the television set has done to my home life proper, we used to be a happy family. It's ridiculous now. My kid don't talk English anymore. He has seen so many cowboy pictures in the morning and look at my wife and they'll say, Ma, I ain't hankering for no cereal. Since we got the television set he's an idiot. The other day I said to the kid don't do it, he said channel 4. And my wife, she used to be a lovely girl and now she watches all those chopped up movies you see on television. That's not tough enough but she buys what they sell during the picture. Anything that costs a dollar she buys. We now got a kitchen with kitchen utensils no kitchen could use. Who cares if you can slice a pickle on a 45 degree angle? Who cares? She bought it. So it makes good cold slow all day she's rubbing cabbages on this thing. We get cold slow with the cereal in the morning for lunch for dinner, cold slow. She bought another thing, a grading machine that makes carrot juice. I never drank it in my life. She's rubbing carrots and I'm drinking carrot juice. Never had trouble with my eyes I'm going blind since I'm drinking a stuff. She bought another thing, a thing called quickie pie maker. This is the doll. Quickie pie maker two pieces of bread with apple sauce in the middle of this pie but I'm eating it. She makes it. And they sell you another thing called magic towels. Why do you think they call it magic towels? We sent in the dollar and never got the towels. My wife used to cook the kind of things I could eat. Simple food, steaks, chops. Now she watches those chefs on television. I am living on bait and tea dishes like chocolate covered oysters. For a Sunday special marinated herring stuffed with halava. They said we were happy but since we got this set we did it as we fight all the time. We never used to fight. Now it's a consistent battle. She wants to watch the fashion show. I want to watch the ball game. She wants to watch Milton Burl. That hurts me. To make a long story short she's got the kid now and she's living with her mother. That's not the worst of it. She's suing me for the boss and she wants custody of the television set. I doth my Easter bonnet to you Jackie Maas for most amusing monologue and his further cause for throwing hats in the air. In December 1948 Rex Harrison opened in what proved to be a run of memorable performances at the Schubert Theatre in Maxwell Anderson's story of a tragic queen and of the thousand days. His portrayal of Henry VIII in that play is still a vivid theatrical memory for us all. Tonight Mr. Harrison recreates the role of the despotic monarch and in the company of his beautiful wife Lily Palmer as Anne Boleyn brings us scenes from Maxwell Anderson's and of the thousand days. We meet first the king played by Rex Harrison. The stage is shadowed menacing with the vastness of Tudor Castle. The king is deliberating over signing the death warrants of his wife Anne Boleyn. This is hard to do when you come to put pen to paper and you say to yourself she must die and she must if things are to go as planned yes if things are to go at all if I'm to rule and keep my sanity and hold my England off the rocks. It's a lee shore and a low tide and the winds are gale and the Spanish rocks are bare and sharp. Go back to it Henry go back to it. Keep your mind on this parchment you must sign. Dip your pen in the ink write your name. Men, nobles and peasants she's struck down a few herself or driven you to it. It's only that a woman that you've held in your arms long for when she was away and suffered with no but she promised you an heir write it down write Henry Rex and it's done and then the headsman will cry out suddenly look look there and point to the first flash of sunrise and she'll look not knowing what his means the sword will flash in the flicker the sun to the little bones of her neck as she looks away and it'll be done it'll be done. How did you come to this? What be you like Henry when she flashed her first anger at you ten years ago in spring how hopeful were you how mistaken then how ridiculous and how much in love. The dark closes in and the scene flees swiftly to the tower of London now a fugitive ray a flicker from the vanishing day illuminates the queen and too thinks her thoughts. If I were to die now but I must not die yet not yet it's been too brief a few weeks and days many days I wonder since the first time I gave myself to that last day when when he left me at the lists and I saw him no more well I can reckon it I have time enough those who sit in the tower don't lack for time he could never cipher he was shrewd and heavy and cunning with his tongue and wary and intrigue but when it came to adding up an account he filled it with arrows and bit his tongue and swore till I slapped his hands like a child and took the pen and made it straight a king I said a king and cannot reckon I was his clever girl then his man why do I think of it now would he kill me kill me Henry the fool that great fool kill me I kill him my wonder I feel it in my hands perhaps I could so perhaps he could kill me perhaps he could kill me the dice cast the wondrous moment of love and marriage fled and has reached the end of her thousand days a light that has no sun in it falls through leaded windows and makes pale the cheek of the queen who stands accused of infidelity the trial the travesty nears its end but Henry has not been able to stay away I was a fool to come here why did you come? because I wanted to know because I wanted to know and still I don't know no man ever knows whether I was unfaithful to you yes just that whether you were unfaithful to me while I loved you but I'll never know whether you say yes or no I won't be sure either way fool that I am that all men are you've shut me up here to be tried for adultery and treason toward you you've done this because you love elsewhere and I know it but now you come here to make sure whether there were truly adultery because that would touch your manhood and your pride and you wait and listen a cat in a corner watching the pet mouse run before it died and then you come out to make sure oh fool of fools even so my heart and my eyes are glad of you fool of all women that I am I'm glad of you here go then keep your pride of manhood you know about me now man mind I ask no pity of you I have no wish to harm you I am much moved by what you said I'd rather a year I could out of my life than do you wrong after these words of yours did you say did you say truly you were glad of me here I won't say it again but I did say it and it was true then let's do all this gently man for old time's sake I have to prove that I can father a king to follow me you and I will not have a son now God has spoken there go quietly sign the nullification no we were king and queen man and wife together I keep that take it from me as best you can you do leave me no choice would you let this grind on the way it's going you were to be served your purpose I remember you're saying let them die I'm you forgotten it no doubt no I did say it these things look different from the other end if I'd known then what I feel now I couldn't have done it no I've been your wife could you do it to me yes if you stood in my way defiantly as you do you're not old you've been long a king but you're still young and could change you said on that one day when we loved each other remember that one day when I loved you and you loved me that you could change would seek justice would be such a king as man hoped you'd be when you came to the throne it's not too late for that only if you harden in your mind toward me and say it's nothing like the other rats and rabbits let her be cut and torn and buried then I think it will be indeed too late the king the great king you might have been will have died in you hmm I'll tell you truly I do want to begin again and I can't with you you brought me into blood that bloody business of the death of more and all the pity for folk who were like him and wouldn't sign your hand was to that yours not yours what you truly want though you may not know it is a fresh frail innocent maid who will make you feel fresh and innocent again and young again Jane Seymour is the name it could be anyone only virginal and sweet and when you've had her you'll want someone else is not true meanwhile to get her you'll murder if you must why then you decided and survived before you go perhaps you should hear one thing I lied to you I loved you but I lied to you I was untrue untrue with many is it a lie is it take it to your grave believe it I was untrue why then you settled it settled you asked for it you shall have it quite correct only what I take to my grave you take to yours with many not with one many she is guilty proceed with the murmury my signature lend me your pen she lies she lies she was not unfaithful to me but if she lies let her die for lying let her die sometimes I seem to sit in a motionless dream and watch while I do a horrible thing I do it and all the clocks in all the world stand still waiting what is she thinking in this haunted interval while no moat falls through the shaft of sunlight and no man takes a breath I've never thought what it was like to die to become meat that rots then food for shrubs and the long roots of vines the grape could reach me I may make him drunk before many years someone told me the story of the homely daughter of Sir Thomas Moore climbing at night up the trestles of London bridge where they stuck her father's head on a pike and hunting among the stinking and bloody heads of criminals till she found her father's head his beard matted and hard with blood and climbing down with it and taking it home to bury in the garden perhaps my head up on London bridge no no even Henry would object to that I'd been his queen he kissed my lips I lie in lead or brass but if my head were on the bridge he wouldn't climb to take it down nobody'd climb for me could stay and face up the river my long hair blow out and tangle on the spikes in my small neck till the seabirds took me and there was nothing but a whispered hair I must think of something to say when the time comes if I could say it with the axe edge toward me could I do it could I lay my head down and smile and speak till the blow comes there's no time shall I tear this you to your death and I to my expiation for there is such a thing as expiation it involves dying to live death is a thing the coroner can see I'll stick by that a coroner wouldn't know you died young Henry and yet you did Clark, Clark burn these records the trial is over the thing is done to Rex Harrison and Elipama our highest praise for one of the finest dramatic contributions to the big show oh, I don't know till you did you ever hear me play Henry VIII you, Jimmy and why not me and my lead lady Miss Judy Holliday a little music a little music, Meredith yes, Meredith some King Henry music preferably you go to my head it's hard to sign this paper and have her beheaded it's hard to do I can't write I'll just sign it with a Rex but should I or shouldn't I would I should or would I shouldn't what if I do cut off her head she'll still have one left over but on the other hand I hate to do it she just bought a news Easter hat yesterday she was torn between should and shouldn't I know what I'll toss a cone heads I cut off her head tails, I'm in trouble I'll cut my head off I'll take a couple ass Anderson I'm glad you didn't say that boy I've been out of a job is he gonna do it enough I wanna know his one thing before I have you beheaded do you have any other boyfriends well rest on my laurels start over again just you and me just the two of us I love you Anne Harry will you put that chicken down when you're talking to me we're a slob answer me did you ever have another boyfriend ask me no questions I'll tell you no lie who was he huh, guess Willie? no Dave? no Jim who Jim Williams Jim Jim Baxter am I warm I can't remember you remember huh can't huh honestly you lose your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders what because then I will be taller than you are I'm sorry it's the best I can do no hard feelings Anne you ain't mad this is Easter Sunday a day of hopes reborn and a fate rededicated one of its symbols is the white cross of the lily today by coincidence is also the anniversary of a death the death of Clara Barton whose life is symbolized by another cross the red cross emblem of man's love for man and the doctrine that each of us is and must be his brother's keeper on this feast of the resurrection I want you to hear part of a letter it came not to us but to the American Red Cross it's signed by a man who discovered the true meaning of the Red Cross on the battlefields of Korea he writes they picked me up for dead last fall near the Naktong river in Korea and when I came to I was in a hospital in Osaka there was somebody holding my hand just sitting there holding my hand not talking I didn't feel like talking I was blind and scared so scared it was like I was a baby I pretended to myself it was my mother's hand I guess I must have almost broken it well after a while she began to talk low and slow and sort of easy she said she was with the Red Cross a Grey Lady and she didn't give me any hurry about everything being just fine it was rugged she knew it and I knew it we talked not just once or twice but for days and after a while I came around to where I wasn't feeling on top of the world well I could take it and all of a sudden it hit me what about my family how were they going to feel when they found I was blind and they were going to spend the rest of their lives taking care of me she wrote a letter and they got it so that when I got back home they were like me they could take it they operated on my head while I was still in Japan I guess it was really something because they had to give me nine pints of Red Cross blood to keep me alive and right now I'm walking around with a plastic graft under my haircut back in the states at St. Albans hospital the Red Cross was just like it was over there somebody always doing something for me I'm out on convalescent leave and I can see I've got my sight back I just want to say thanks thanks to the Red Cross thanks for everything signed sergeant william ladies and gentlemen need I say more ladies and gentlemen on this Easter Sunday let us give more than we ever have before to the American Red Cross well darlings we're off now for Hollywood where I guess next week will be Miss Ethel Barrymore Bing Crosby Joan Davis Bob Hope Van Johnson and others and of course our very own Meredith Wilson and the big show orchestra and chorus until then may the good Lord bless and keep you whether near or far away Judy may you find that long awaited golden today Jackie may your troubles all be small ones and your fortunes ten times ten Jimmy may the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again Lily may there be a silver lining back of every cloud you see wrecks fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows never mind what might have been common may the good Lord bless and keep you till we'll meet again you'll soon forget the rain may the wonder memory be the ones that we'll remember may the good Lord bless and keep you until we meet again Happy Easter darlings and Godspeed to our armed forces all over the world who hear these broadcasts each week The big show is produced and directed by D. Engelbach and written by Goodman Ace, Selma Diamond, George Foster, Mort Green and Frank Wilson This is Ed Hurley, he's speaking