 Why does the narcissist fail to consider you? Why don't they think carefully about your wants and needs before making a decision? Why don't they consider your feelings? The narcissist cannot consider consistently what you want or how you feel. They haven't got the mental and emotional capacity required to do that. They are in survival mode. They are constantly in fear. Which then causes them to fight or run away during stressful times. Rather than communicating and accepting the situation willingly and enthusiastically. They have no long-term plans. They are struggling to survive. So they are only focused on getting through the day. That is why they cannot consider you. That is why they cannot consider your wants and needs. Your feelings. They are too preoccupied with their own interests and emotions. Because they are focused on surviving. They are deeply traumatized people. Who are doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their trauma. They are constantly trying to attend to themselves by taking from other people. Rather than going within and attending to what is screaming for that attention. Their constant emotional outbursts or their body's way of telling them that something needs their attention. But rather than reflecting on it. They choose to project it onto other people. How they feel about themselves is how they will feel about you. Although sometimes They will put on an act as a way of manipulating you to get what they want from you. They will act as though they are whole and complete. They will act as though they have something to give to you. But this is only so they can get what they want from you. Narcissists have nothing to give. They are takers. They are deficient. They are lacking the quantity or quality required. And that is why they are always so negative towards you. That is why they are always so angry or hateful. Because you have what they want and they are trying to take something away from you. When a person is negative. When a person is angry or hateful towards you. It is because you have something that they want. And they know that being nice and friendly to you. Isn't going to make you give them what they want. So they try to force it out of you. By being negative. They become angry or hateful towards you. They try to force you to hand your power over to them. If you don't hand it over. They will often become violently aggressive towards you. This is all to get them what they want. What they want is your power. They don't have any power of their own. They have to trick you into giving your power to them. If you don't willingly hand it over. They will become negative towards you. But they were negative anyway. They just didn't show you that side of themselves. In the beginning. They will act as though they have everything that they need. They will act as though they have something to give to you. But this is only to hide the fact that they are actually very needy. They need emotional support. They need security. They know that no one wants to be around someone who is constantly in need. They should always be a balance of give and take. But as long as you are giving them what they need. There won't be a problem. There won't be any arguments or disagreements. It's only when you stop giving into their demands. That's when the problems start to surface. That's when they start to become negative towards you. They're negative because they're not getting what they want. By becoming angry or hateful towards you. They are trying to force you to attend to their needs. When someone already has everything that they need. They are happy and contented. They have no reason to be negative towards you. The narcissist is negative because you have what they want. And they are trying to take it away from you. And they know that being nice isn't going to work anymore. They know that they have to be violently aggressive to get their needs met. They become very angry. Not only if you're not submitting to their demands. But also because they're very ungrateful. No matter how much you do for them. It will never be enough. It will never be pleasant or acceptable. They will never be satisfied. They will never display any gratitude or appreciation towards you. They'll never even say thank you. Because nothing is ever enough for them. Nothing could ever be enough. When they have a big gaping black hole inside of them. They have a void that can never be filled. They're like a bucket with a leak at the bottom. No matter how much you pour into them. It always leaks out. No matter how much you do for them. It will never be enough. They will never be satisfied. They will still be angry and hateful towards you. And it's not because you're not good enough. Although that is what they will try to make you believe. A person cannot be angry and grateful at the same time. They are angry because they are not grateful. They are not appreciative of everything that you have done for them. They have a strong sense of entitlement. They believe that they are inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. They see you as an object that exists to serve them. To meet their needs. They are self-absorbed and they lack empathy. They don't care about how their endless demands affect you. They don't care about your wants or needs. They don't care how you feel about it. All they care about is what they want. And they want it now. They are trying to survive emotionally. So they don't have the capacity to consider you. They can only think about themselves. And that is why they lack consideration for you. You will be wasting your time trying to get the narcissist to see everything that you have done for them. They cannot acknowledge it. Because they always need more. And if they were to acknowledge everything that you have done for them. It would trigger them to reflect on how they really feel about themselves. Deep down they know that they're needy. They know that they're selfish. They just don't want to acknowledge it. If you dare to bring this to their attention. All they're going to do is deny it. And project it onto you. They will call you needy or selfish. They will act as though you need too much from them. You could give them £100,000. And they will act like it isn't a big deal. And they might not even say thank you. But then if you were to borrow £100 from them. They would act like you're too needy. And if you go and spend that money on yourself. They would tell you that you're being selfish. Even if they've just gone and spent £100,000 of your money on themselves. It's crazy making. It might seem like they're trying to wind you up. And while that is how their behaviour might make you feel. They're actually just trying to avoid reflecting on how they really feel about themselves. They feel as though they are not enough. And by failing to consider you and constantly focusing on themselves. It becomes a reminder to them that they are not enough. As they constantly need you. They constantly need you to give something to them. They will try to convince you that it's the other way around. And that it's really you who needs them. But their anger never goes away. Because they're really the ones who need you. They know that being nice isn't going to get them what they want anymore. As you've already caught onto the imbalances in the relationship. So now they have to be negative. Now they have to be angry or hateful towards you. It's just another way for them to try to get their needs met. Whether they are being nice or hateful. They're both ways for them to get their needs met. They might try being nice to you at first. But if that doesn't work, they will get mad. The narcissist fails to consider you. They fail to consider your wants and needs. Your feelings. Because they are self-absorbed and they lack empathy. They are in survival mode. They are trying to survive emotionally. Their behaviour is always so negative. Because you have what they want and they are trying to take it away from you. And they know that being nice isn't going to work anymore. They have to take from you in order to sustain themselves. And they don't care about how it affects you. The narcissist will sink your ship. If it means that they can keep theirs afloat. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching and inquiries you can email me at notforevercoaching at jumble.com. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.