 Can you believe all the money we're making from these ridiculous pony videos? Stocks, bonds, drugs, blood diamonds, nothing's made dividends like this before. Everyone and welcome to another episode of the Procrastinator's podcast. I am the best guy ever and also here's Hippocrite. Cash money and such. And that's it. We're the only guys here. That's it. Let's move ahead here. It's me! Oh, what do you know? I was piercing it through the ceiling! I was parachuting and I just figured I should get out now before the instructor got too mad at me. And here I am. Well, all right. Just in time. Why was he getting mad at you? I figured if I waited too long he'd be like, oh, why aren't you jumping out? So I better go early so he wouldn't get mad. Is that voice that I heard from under the door that we locked to keep him out? Oh, it's Ben Saint. Oh, it's Ben Saint's voice. Hey, let me just roll on in here and say that I'll probably be leaving a little early because Nate's technical issues have forced a scheduling conflict. Because around 7 today I'm going to be over fucking streaming video games streaming you, me, Nicky, on Twitch.tv slash Ben Saint. Don't watch me. Yeah, everyone. You should all join the stream, by the way. Oh, hey guys. Sorry I'm late. My dad was taking me in the city to see a marching band. He said son, when you grow up, would you be the leader of the broken, beaten in the dam? He said, will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non-believers, the plans that they have made because one day I'll leave you a phantom to lead you in the summoner to join the Black Raid. And that's why the weird utilitarianism is bad. Busted, Nate. Busted. I just, I don't associate that song with anything except Gern Lagan. I associate that with the freshman year of high school. Munchy, have you not seen this girl? I got to link it to you. It's like the greatest thing ever made. But okay, it just, it so perfectly fits with the, with like the Simone common relationship. Okay, let's move on. Can we, can we from Moana? Can we have a peek behind the curtain real quick and say this is not the first PCP episode we've recorded today? Very true. Everybody, I had technical issues. My computer died. We recorded a grand episode about Nate's weird utilitarian principles. So grand. Yeah, it was actually really great and when we're all real fucking bummed that it's lost forever and no one will ever hear it. I, I, I object to even mentioning it because then we might not make it in the future, but we'll try again. I'm gonna upload my audio and I'm gonna let the audience try to piece together. Really? Piece together what was going on. We should all upload our audio separately. I made some really great points. Yeah, everyone upload their separately on their channels. It's a good idea. I'll try to recover mine too and upload mine separately. Nate, don't even try to recover it because I deleted mine. It'll be like an ARG. Yeah. Whoa, that's a good idea, but we spoiled it for everybody. Okay, well too bad. Maybe within the week until this goes live, people will be wondering what the fuck these audios are. Excellent. Okay everybody, but, but we're not talking about that today. Instead we're gonna talk about money. Money, money, money, money. Yes, cash. Boney, money, money, money. Insert cash register sound effect. Is that, is that the ruffling of the cash? Yeah, that's, that was my money. That's Ben rubbing all the IOUs together that he has. You see, Ben, who, Ben, who hates dollars and loves coins would never, Yeah, I wish I just had a big sack of like weird like ring coins and just things all the time to carry it around. time to carry around. I never want to see it fail as long as I live. That is, it does make a more impressive sound when you do things with it. Like that. Yeah, there we go. Oh yeah, that's like a pirate sound. You put a sack of gold on the table. The pirates knew what was up. They were smart. So okay, here we go. So here's the the Urban Dictionary definition of money everybody. Okay, money. That which allows lazy people to do stupid things without painful consequences, thus keeping them forever stupid. Here's the example. It's not the love of money that is the root of all evil, but rather the lack of it. It's not wrong to have money. It's wrong for money to have you. Hey, money is the root of all evil is a misquote and I can't remember what the actual quote is, but I know it's right. The love of all money is the root of all evil. Well, it makes sense. Said Jesus to me right now. Yeah, money is, I like it. So as you can guess, we did not have much time to think about this ahead of time. So let's just jump into it. Let's talk about our bank accounts. I have a big bank account. Go fund my bank account. Here's my account info. How much should we get paid for the PCP last month? Let's see. Yeah, let's just share our detailed financials. That's what this episode will be. I got $175. Link in the description to our bank account, which you can feel free to just have at. With a draw from. Guys, what's your favorite password that you use for your bank? There should be a password where we just top 10 my bank password. My top 10 account passwords and that's a good video. I should do that before I die. That's actually a great idea. Okay, so let's talk. So is money the root of all evil? No, it's great. I hate money. Money causes me more stress than anything else in my whole life. I don't know. Whenever I hear anybody be like, guys, wouldn't it be great if we eliminated money? I just think you're an idiot. You don't understand life. The fact that I need money is what causes me the stress, not the fact that it exists. Okay. Yeah. I feel that way. I would like a nice comfortable amount of money where I'm like, well, I'm not going to die tomorrow. So that's good. Me and DeVoo talked about this a bunch when I was living in DigiHouse. DeVoo would sometimes get on this subject of universal minimum income or just basic income. Yeah, universal basic income where everyone, it's just like, social programs are less. Social programs are cut, but just everyone gets a small but livable income, maybe like $20,000 or something a year. And if you make up for it elsewhere, God, I wish that was the world we lived in. No, that sounds, Ben would be suit set. He'd be perfect. That'd be a big race for Ben. I wouldn't have to worry about anything. I could just do my art and be happy. A lot of the time, I think of people who are on hard times, but they never seem to be suddenly homeless, like actually completely homeless with no money and no way to make any money. Well, you know what I like about Ben? Don't it happen? I know it does happen, Ben though. I like that Ben is realistic and is willing to downscale his life with having made less money. What I hate or what I think is wrong or silly of people to do is to expect everything and then also not realize that like, oh, well, I'm not generating enough value to deserve these things. Ben is willing to eat trash and live on the streets. I only make zero dollars. In fact, I prefer it. Yeah, exactly. That's like he's correctly scaling his expectations to reality, which is good. I like to think so. It seems that way anyway. I think poor people should be eliminated because here's what poor people do. They will walk into a city. No, I'm just going to enter. I didn't even have to be able to make half my point. Now I can't remember what it was. I'm just really mad. You just interrupt me. It was something about like homeless people. I don't know if you suddenly if there are people on the streets and they've been there for years suddenly giving them a paycheck. I don't know what they would do with it. Oh, so you're saying that like even if we gave, you know, even if even if suddenly there was like a livable wage for everybody, I don't know whether that much would change. Like people would have a bit more. Not that much would change. Yeah. But I just want it because it would be good for people like me. So that's why I want it. I don't care about anything else, obviously. I mean, I know DeVoo has some weird like things that are like that. I mean, I only say weird because I don't understand them. I don't know if they're actually like incorrect or not. But like he's got some justification for universal basic income based on like it would free up people to work on the things they really want to do. Yeah. Which is exactly why I want it because that's what it would do to me. Yeah. I mean, you know, it makes sense. But the only thing is like so universal basic income definitely makes sense in a situation just where there's like mass unemployment due to like technological evolution or whatever. It's just, you know, like we don't need like a thousand billion McDonald's employees anymore. We've got robots. They've got it under control. So like that's, you know, and that puts like a million people out of work or whatever. But but like up until that point where like things are covered by robots, if you give people universal basic income, like there's not going to be value generated. So it's like the society will suffer and could get weighed down by that shit. It's like there needs to be the point is we're already spending like a million fucking dollars on like, you know, I don't know, stuff, stuff that the government does. Like this would be like, this would be paid for by cutting those other programs. You know what I like about this, though? This puts the responsibility on people to manage their shit properly. And then I don't have to feel bad for them anymore. Yeah. You know, I feel like it should at least be something you have to sign up for, like just fill in some paperwork. If you can't read, if you can't write, no, no, wait, wait, here's what it is. Here's what it is. If you can't read or write, you get free school until you can. And then from there, you get you get like a little bit of money. And then you can just you're supposed to like be incentivized to do stuff. You got to because like, okay, if you get money, some people, some people will definitely just live and do nothing forever. What if you're just retarded, though, like literally, you're actually mentally challenged? What about those people? Well, you get some of that money and you spend it on, yeah, but they won't know how to do any of that shit. They'll need they'll need caretakers. Guys, let me clear this up with what I think is a far more intelligent solution. Instead of just giving people $20,000 a year, retarded. Because the thing about money is you can buy whatever the fuck you want with that. If we're going to give people handouts, it should be a universal housing and universal like food and water. Don't give them just straight up money so they can go buy fucking anime books and all this bullshit. I disagree with that. I disagree with that. Then you're fucking retarded. No, I want people. I'd be fine with just being housing and food allowances. I want those people to die who can't who can't make that shit happen. I want them to die and be and remove themselves from the gene pool. Why don't we just give everybody a bullet? Why? Yeah, why is that crazy? Why is that crazy? We can't just die. Who exactly do you cannot manage? What category of people are you right now? I think they want people who can't. These people who squander their universe. Sorry, go on. I was trying to explain what you were going, but you were saying it, so it's fine. Yeah, I was just saying people who cannot manage their life, their 30 grand basic minimum income, with the ability to go out and earn more if they want to. If they can't handle that, they should die. I agree that everybody who gets a gender studies degree should die, but that's a little too extreme though. Nessie, here's the thing I don't like about universal basic income. We've kind of structured society in a way that everybody just gets to live. Like, we will take care of everybody. I don't like that. Some people should die. Some people should be weeded out. That's fucking crazy. No, but they're weeded out by their own decision-making. No, they're fucking not. No, they fucking aren't. They're weeded out because they don't have a family support network, or because they just happen to get sick, or because they're mentally ill. Things like that. Well, free will isn't real either, so none of this matters. None of us have control. It looks like we're doing the same podcast again. Anyway, this is Nate. The podcast was saved. Thanks to Nate. This is why we needed that podcast because it's just going to keep coming up. Do you want to actually go back now? I think the mood is set again. We have to go back. Here's my thing about money. I like coins. I like when they go ching ching. I'm with you so far. Did any of you as kids have a big thing of pennies? Did you just have a load of pennies? Sure. I used to have. They have pennies, yeah. Oh, it's called the same thing? It is called the same thing. You have cents. We have pennies, and everything is also called pennies. It's just like five pennies. Five pennies. Is Abraham Lincoln on your pennies too? No, it's the queen. The queens are all of our money. Is a pens the same thing as a penny? Are those the same thing? One pence, one penny, yeah. Oh, hey, what do you know? But you call it cents. You just change the P to a C for everyone. Because America has cents and the UK does. Yeah, you know what they say. In for a penny, in for a pence. That's the expression. Well, a pound is like a hundred pennies. All right, I wasn't going to talk about that. How do you guys not know this? You fucking... I don't know. In for a penny, in for a penis. All right, go on, yeah, go on. All right. Now, I like, I forgot what I was going to say, but I like coins. I'll just go back to that classic, that classic tried and true tested debate topic. I love coins. They're good. Oh, yeah, the pennies thing. Did any of you have like, I had like a treasure chest full of pennies and I cashed it into the bank one day and it wasn't even that much and I really am upset that I had a treasure chest. It was a little wooden treasure chest with a lock and I had a padlock on it and it was just full of pennies and it just felt so, I felt so wealthy. Yeah, I felt so wealthy having that chest, but my parents told me, you know, that's worth money and you can have it and I'm like, whoa, so I did and it was like, I don't know, a couple, a couple quid, a couple pounds, like not even five pounds maybe. And now I'm sad that I don't have a pirate chest. I do have a related question for everybody if we want to go around the horn based off of what Hippo just said. And hopefully this is relevant for most of you. If you got like, for your birthday, you get money, like at the age of like 10 to 12. What did you spend that money on? Webkins. One time I went to a hallmark and I spent literally $100 on webkins. Just webkins. What are those? What is a webcam? You motherfuckers! Is that a stout milk? What fucking webkins are? All right. Here, I'm gonna red pill you on webkins. All right. Please. Wedpilled. You would be a little lad, a little boy or a girl or maybe even both and you would walk into a, you would walk into a store and there you would see them, the webcam. And he would, and they would smile upon you gleefully and with a tint in their eyes, where you know they mean fucking business. Basically there's these little like stuffed animals and they look fucked up and like fucking like battered like like crazy housewives of fucking Los Angeles. And they like, they're all like tie-died and shit and they're like mystical and magical and frivolous. And you would buy them. You would buy them. And they would be like, like fucking like $15 or $20, like a lot for like a teddy bear or something or like a cat. And then you would buy them. And then they would have a special code and you would go online to webkins www.webkins.gov and you would enter in the- This is a government program. Yeah, you would enter in the code. Webkins would be cut to pay for a universal basic income. No, we have to abandon that. Yeah, that motherfucker, that guy. And he would get him and he would put the code in and then he would be like, hello, I'm alive inside the computer. I will transmit my code into your soul now. Impressive. It's like a soul augmentation program. Is it like Beanie Babies for the Modern Age? Is that what it is? Yeah. And you like put them in rooms and you could like make their rooms look cool. And you could like, it was like Animal Crossing, but you had to like get like a fucking like thing in real life. So they're kind of like amiibo? Yeah, yeah. You got a trainer amiibo and yeah. They're like live inside of a virtual world and you can like see them growing. You can play games with them. I would always play this one game where it was like I would go into the fucking like King Solomon's Mines and I would like work my little baby hands until I would fucking cried myself all over. Your Webkin was doing slave labor? Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I liked it. I liked it like that. I liked being a slave. I was a slave to my own desires. And you know, and it worked down the end. Like, like, what's that? There was like that many games. It was like an old like asshole, like Southern, like fucking like a bigot, like fucking Confederate soldier dog there. It was like working my minds and maybe you'll fucking not be a slave one day. Wow. And I did it. And I would never feels like that's what it means to be a slave. And then I always work and I was trying to get like fucking like like heart scales, basically, I can never get any. I only got like fucking like shoes and like fucking like $3. And it was shit. Well, wait, you made money. There's a return on investment here. No. Well, first of all money, like super money, like Webkin's money. Okay. So like Bitcoin. I got payment in Dogecoin. That's worth 20 times Bitcoin, as I understand. Like when you win the sled game on Club Penguin. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And basically, yeah, it's like, it's like Club Penguin, but like better because it's Webkin's, basically. And like, it's, I know a certain hippo who would probably argue against you on that one, sucker. If you were played Webkin's? I don't know whether hippo's played. Hey, did I mention I met maybe Fiona, the hippo, world's famous hippo yesterday at the Cincinnati Zoo. Oh, yeah. It was cool. She was a little rambunctious dude. She was hanging out with her mom and papa. That has nothing to do with what we're talking about. But then again, now that it's Webkin's. So let's. All right, Nate, what did you waste your money on those kids? Right. Without question, it was always video games. Every single time I would buy, mostly like I could afford, I would spend my money on like GBA games because they were generally cheaper and like every, every birthday or like Christmas, I could usually cash in for exactly one video game, no matter what it cost. I mean, they were generally like 60 bucks, but nonetheless, I would use my money to buy the GBA games really that much back then. They're like 40 bucks, 40 bucks. Yeah, you know, but I would scrape together my money and I would buy fucking Mario and Luigi Superstar saga, the greatest game ever made or fuck, what else? I don't know, Castlevania. I would always buy the new Castlevanes on GBA. It was the greatest games of all time, shit like that. So it was always video games. So that's my answer. That's a complete long and short of it. My school's Webkin's. Shout out to Castlevania Circle of the Moon. I would always save any money I got from birthdays because I ever since ever since my parents said, Oh, we can't afford that at anything. I was like, wait, you can't. You can't get this thing that I would like you to get for me. And then it was disturbing. It was disturbing. And then I learned that things can cost a hundred pounds. And I was like, no, no one is ever going to spend any of this money I'm getting. I have to keep all of it. So I just kept putting it in my bank account and I have thousands upon thousands. Well, not that many. But like, what was your, what was your goal with this? Just to have it, to save it? I mean, as a kid, I just thought, well, my parents buy things for me anyway. So if I get money from my other relatives, I don't need to spend it. I just need to, you know, just sort of sort of wait, wait around and then parents. So your answer to what did I buy as a kid is I didn't buy anything. I didn't buy anything. I just got shit. I'm, I'm a, I was a clever Jew as a child. I wish I was as smart as hippo because regretfully I spent all of my childhood money buying Yu-Gi-Oh tins, which were never worth it. And now every single card I own is worthless. And I couldn't sell it if I found the biggest fan of the world. It, it was the worst investment a young boy could ever make. Oh my God. Should have bought magic dude. Should have invested in Magic the Gathering. Now that would have paid dividends. I bought, I bought Magic the Gathering. I just remembered like the most wasteful thing that I spent my money on. I did, I did spend some money on it, but mostly it was something that I would use my, like, you know, Christmas and birthday gifts, like, like credits as, or such as they are for. Fucking, fucking Dungeons and Dragons, like, Splat books and rule books. I always wanted more of them. I ate that shit up. Um, God, it's embarrassing. You still have those? Those were cool. Huh? Do you still have them? Yeah, there's a huge fucking pile of them in my parents' house. Some of those were e-fucking sensual. The Manual of the Plains is a, is a wonderful book just to read. It, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're just, some of them are just fun to read. Like, like they have rules in them and it's like that's fine, but some of them are just like lore and it like goes into like each one of the, each one of the planes and like talks about what monsters and what gods live there. There's a lot of creativity there and I really think those are fun as fuck. Some of them are just irons, but some of them are great. I want to get into, but I don't know how. And I don't really care to get into Dungeons and Dragons. Well, here's the thing. So you can get all those rule books like The Freon on the internet. Disclaimer, disclaimer, don't get into Dungeons and Dragons. It's actually a shit game that sucks. Yeah. And like any, any, any, any suggestion to the contrary is the product of memes on Stockholm? It's a globalist conspiracy. What I mean by that is that I, I would like to be able to say, you know, I kind of get what the whole lore of Dungeons and Dragons is if there is like a consistent law. I know there are like different books to say this is, this is, this is like the book of this. And then another book will reference that book a bit. So they're sort of connected, but not really, you know, there are a few, there are a few like worlds that like certain books are specifically made for and or in, but like, I mean, they all conflict with each other. I feel like if I want to be good at, be good at world building, I might have to read a few of those. Forgive me if I wrong. Yes. But isn't the point of Dungeons and Dragons to like make your own story? It's like you make your own thing. Well, people need, people need a bit of guidance, I guess is the point. And some people just want to buy these like pre-made stories and just play along with them. Like remember that one about that, that Drow Elf guy, Drizzit or whatever, who was so popular? Yeah. I know people who would just buy lore books to read about that guy. I always wanted, I always wanted like to be in a game, like like a professionally made campaign, like a professionally made adventure with like, because like the professionally made ones are better. Like they're just better. But nobody wants to buy them because someone wants to DM and people want to tell their own shitty stories around your fucking basement dining room table. And like, I feel like I missed out because like one time I played a pre-made adventure that like came in a box and I was like, this thing is so robust. There's like, there's just so much more to do, like it's so much more engaging than just the shitty nothing, whatever, that my, that my jerk off friend here has, has prepared for my enjoyment. Fuck that guy. Same by name, same by name. Munchy? Munchy, it's me, I DM. You already said Webkins. No, no, no. I'm telling Ben to name that guy by name so we can make fun of him. All of them. Oh yes. Just like everyone, just everyone, just nobody makes good D&D campaigns. I didn't even know there was like lore to Dragons and Dragons. I thought it was just like a rule set. Dragons and Dragons, yeah. Well, wait, that's what we're talking about, right? Some, Demons and Dragons, you clawed. Like some of the books describe like a specific setting, but not, but like you don't have to play it in that setting if you don't want to. Yeah, I thought, I didn't, I thought it was just like a rule set for like anything. I thought, I thought the point was that you make stupid. There's a whole pantheon of gods and shit. The way Spoonie explained it in his series about Dungeons and Dragons makes it seem like it's really cool. Well, he's wrong. I promise you he's wrong. Well, yeah, I mean, I'm sure it's not cool, but it's like cool to have a story to say, and then this happened. Although I kind of want to go watch that video now. All right, let's move on to the next one. Wait, no, no, just real quick. Just real quick. Wait, all right, what is it next? I want to, I want to be in a spur of Dungeons and Dragons thing. Oh, god. Only, only I got to, never will you get to. Damn it, Nate, I was thinking about Spurg the other day, and I was just thinking, I am such a genius. Remember that was good. Remember how like early on some of the like role playing sessions we did over text to simulate Pester logs? Yep, yep. I am the greatest. Yeah, those are great. Man, we're really good. If we ever, and the PCP headquarters think we have to do that, I will force you to do it then. I will not, you will not have a say in it. You know what? Yeah. I'm not going to say that I would never do like a Spurg with the PCP. I would if I could find an excuse to do it. So yeah, I mean, that one was actually fun because we didn't give a fuck about the rules that D&D actually has. Yeah, well, I mean, there's already horse stuck. Well, yeah, but I don't get to play as my guy. Yeah, horse stuck is just Gibbs thing basically, you know. Well, no, no, I could like have a bit where you, I could have like a like a, you skip ahead and then there's like a big area where you could have adventures. Let's talk about this another time. I don't care about money. This is way more fun. This is not the time to discuss the details with possible future work. Yes, it is. I can't think of a better time. A tangentially related topic of money that we were talking about. We're talking about, you know, things we spent birthday money on. What about the biggest waste of money of all time that we have spent? Yu-Gi-Oh-Tins, right? I've got a great answer for this. And I think about it all the time and how much I regret it. I spent 100 American dollars as a little baby boy at King Richard's Fair at this giant floppy black leather match because I wanted to look like Vampire Hunter D. More than anything. I remember that hat. I remember. I still have this hat. It's amazing. It's dusty as fuck. It's even better. Listeners, let me just personally assure you, it is even better than you are imagining. It's amazing. I'll do a Vampire Hunter D Cosplay someday and use it just to justify the purchase. At King Richard's Fair, which by the way, King Richard's Fair is like a renaissance fair thing that they have near us. It's pretty cool. Up around Boston. I spent 90 dollars on a like a Smith metal flanged mace which I named Leopold and Leopold is, I guess probably sitting in the closet of our parents' house right now. Haven't seen him in a while, but he's my faithful companion. And if I, someday in a time of need, I'll have him around. That I do not regret at all. Why'd you bring it out? We're talking about regrets here. Because I just wanted to talk about Leopold. Well, it's not necessarily. I guess it is regrets because it's a waste of money. The thing that I've wasted the most money is and the things that I regret the most are all the things that I've lost because I don't have them anymore. I've lost so many fucking things. I'm a clumsy dolt and I don't know where any shit is. I just found my original DS the other day after like fucking like eight years of not having it and it's like all like broken and shit and I love it. But I hadn't I, and I don't have my fucking original 3DS. I think that one broke though. There's just so much shit that I don't have that I just lost somehow. I don't know how. I hate so much the fear of an electronic device. Oh, like a DS or a Game Boy Advance. Like if I bring it into the bathroom, what if I drop it in the toilet? It'll be ruined. I have to put it on my bed and I have to walk. I play my Switch while I poop now every time and it is the greatest experience. It's too dangerous, Nate. It's so wonderful. I'm never going back. My Switch is my favorite thing in the world. It was worth every single cent, every other console is garbage. Consoles are shit. Handhelds are the future. I mean, yes. Yes. Handhelds are far better than consoles. I hate consoles. I hate computers. I only like handheld gaming devices that that is. Nate, do you remember? Okay. Do you remember what happened to your copy of like Zelda for swords or something? Or yeah, what you did with it, right? Well, the tragedy that ensued. Yeah. Yeah, it was an accident. It was on some trip. It was on some trip, like either to or from college. I was catching my train in Penn Station in New York and the train was there. It was like leaving and I had all my bags and I was like running to jump on this train before the doors closed. And just as luck would fucking have it, my fucking DS just bounced out of my bag and just like hit the ground and skidded and just fell off the edge of the platform and just landed under the train. And I was standing there looking down over the ledge through the gap and I could see it there. Maybe like 10 feet away from me, eight feet away from me. I was just sitting there and I just looked around like, well, I better get on the train. And then I got on the train and sat down. I was like, my fucking DS with Nate's game in it is like, is like eight feet below me, like down through the floor of this train. It is sitting there right now and I can't get it. Yeah, that's stuff like that. You know what, though, Ben? I feel content knowing that the little mole people who manned the trains, who do the repairs at night, they creep out from the woodworks. One of their little children probably obtained that DS and enjoyed it to his heart's content. But no charger. It probably died in three hours. Well, it was the best three hours of that little mole's life. But moles are blind, so they wouldn't have been able to see it. Oh, he could play through psychokinesis. Nate, your story has more holes than Hillary Clinton's e-mail story. Well, what about Donald Trump Jr.'s e-mail story? He's done nothing wrong. You know what I'm saying? Oh yeah, he's done nothing wrong. He's a good boy. Name one thing that Trumps have done wrong. Hey, they have money. Can we talk about Trump's money? Sure, what's there to say about Trump's money? In a TV show, the theme song was Money, money, money, money, money! No, no, no, no, no, no. That is Trump. Wait, that wasn't... No, that is Vince McMahon's son. That is his WWE song when he comes out. That's the song of the Apprentice as well. Really? Oh, I guess they repurposed it. Well, that's cool. Repurposed it. It's not like... The song wasn't invented for wrestling. That's incorrect. It wasn't invented for wrestling. The song's been around forever. Is that true? Yes. Okay, all right. Jesse once told me like that's his theme song, and I know songs do get written for specific wrestlers. Well, probably not that one. Maybe I've been incorrect here. Maybe I've made a mistake. Yeah, I don't think so. Okay, whatever. In any case, fine, cool, good. Was that the Apprentice theme song? Was that the idea? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. The thing that I regret losing the most is my courage, my pride, and all of my wisdom. When I joined the WWE. When he joined the PC. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. All of my wisdom. No, it's all of my. When you joined, you joined having all your wisdom. It is through the process of joining that you lost it all. Is that accurate? Yeah, it's goodbye. Goodbye. I may have told this story before, but there was this one time when I was playing Donkey Kong Country 2 on my little brother's Black Game Boy Advance SP, and I was getting frustrated because that game's real hard, a real difficult game, and I got mad, and I threw it across the room because I didn't realize that things break. And it broke, and that screen was fucked, and I didn't know what to do. Nobody heard it, nobody was around, and it was like during the middle of the day, so... Did you print out a screenshot from Donkey Kong and paste it over the screen so nobody would tell? Well, eventually that's what came of it. I didn't do that, but he turned it into a memorial. He cut out a little image of Mario Kart GBA or whatever, Mario Kart Advance, and he pasted that on, and he just kept that as a little thing that you could flip it open. How did you make up for this great scene of yours? The thing was, I was so upset that... Well, I was scared, really, and my little brother was really upset, and my dad came home and he heard about it, and he just left, and then he came back with another one. But he was... My God. He came back with another one, but he looked at me so glaring like, I don't want to have to do this again. I felt terrible. Pretty much. He was a good dad, but I felt like a complete idiot, but I didn't learn my lesson, because a few years later, I broke that same brother's DS original by punching it, because of Dragon Quest, something or other. I was trying to do the casinos in a Dragon Quest game on DS, and I punched the thing. I realized that if I punched it, it might break, but I was so angry, I was willing to test it. You really do have a video game ball of rage inside. It does come out sometimes. Yep, I'm fucking evil. I'm terrible. Wait, it reminds me of when I was eight, and I would literally, with my Game Boy Advance, when I lose against the Pokemon League, I would just throw the thing as hard as I could across the room, and the batteries would go flying out like fucking grenades. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. But it never grew up with light. That GBA still works to this day. Damn, they don't build them like they used to. No. That thing's a fucking tank. What the hell is it with white people and throne controllers? I don't get it. With white people. With white CAs, white people are specific. Do other races not do that? I would assume they do. I don't know. I've never seen a black man. What about the spicy Latin community? They got to do that shit. They got to afford things. I did punch my laptop in the screen one time and just fucking... What the fuck is wrong? And just just crack the shit out of it. Yeah. I've never done anything my electronics ever. I have. It's exactly just white people bunch of people. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. I was in college, and my school gave everyone there a basically a free laptop that like... Well, I mean, we had to pay for it, but they were like, okay. It's not free. I bet everyone should. Well, they issued me a laptop, and they would repair it if it ever got broke. So like one time when I was home for vacation, I just like punched it in the screen and just like cracked it. All just ruined it. While it was on, it felt really badass, but then like for the rest of vacation, I had no laptop, which was a bummer. But then I went back and I was like, oh yeah, I just dropped something on it. And they were like, all right, fine. Why didn't you wait until the end of the vacation to do that? Well, it was mad about something. Yeah, it was the heat of the moment. It wasn't like a free... I'm not gonna be mad later. It wasn't like a free... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I really want to punch my laptop screen, but I don't know if I'll be mad enough later, so I better conserve it. Yeah, Ben's an angry lash out of things, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember when you kicked a hole in the wall that one time in the basement? One time I kicked a hole in the wall, but I'm gonna defend myself on that because like me and the parents were like really on the outs at the time. And they'd been fucking giving... They'd been... Okay, they took me to a shrink and they made... They got the shrink to prescribe me Ritalin. So for like two weeks I was taking Ritalin. And here's the thing, I don't know whether the Ritalin like made me fucking hyperactive and that's where this happened, or if taking the Ritalin gave me an excuse to be hyperactive because now I could blame it on the Ritalin. I don't know which is the truth. But yeah, during that time I did like punch a hole in our basement wall and then my dad... Our dad got so fucking mad and he made me repair it myself. Like I had to go to the store and like buy like plaster putty, wall putty, mix it, like scrape it on, like repaper the wall. It was like he... It took... I mean it probably could have been done in a day by a competent craftsman or a couple days, but it took me like a fucking week to do. It was miserable and I was very sad. I think that's a fitting punishment. I think so too. Yeah, I think that's fair. But still it made me... It really was a drag. Fair, but I was gonna say sounds like me and Munchie. I've like never done shit like that ever. You know, I'm not a violent guy. I don't know. Maybe it's just a thin boy thing. Maybe. Are you calling me fat? You piece of shit? No, you're calling me fit. No, no, right. No, I don't know what it's caused by it, but I'm just an angry rage machine because I remember another story. Did he get killed? Oh my god, he's dead. We killed him. Okay, well Gibbs did. I'm sure he'll be back. The original PlayStation 1 disc. Raymond won or something and I lost real bad. Just a quick aside, I have never heard... I've never even like... I'm so sick of all my electronics. Early in the morning, I just felt like... I don't play video games with my sound. They'll hurt my ears. Oh fuck's sake, why is it happening? We hear you now, I can hear you. I'm so full of rage. There's that gib rage. That trademark gib and ray. Ray. So, so guys... I'm playing Rayman 1 on PS1. The original PlayStation disc. I don't have it anymore because I got so mad that I took it out slowly and I just had it in my hands and my hands were shaking and you know when you're angry and you feel the need to like really really clench your fists or pull on something real bad and I had this disc on both hands and I was like, I wonder if I could just twist it in my hands and then I snapped it instantly and I was like and you know my hands were shaking and I was like, no. I destroyed a home. I destroyed a video game. I killed Rayman's essence. It was the first time I destroyed a video game. I felt like... The first time, but far from the last. He felt that surge of power and knew he would do this every day. I was real sad but I was very scared that people would find out so I slid it underneath the TV and I don't know who found it. Probably somebody found it at some point but my brother one day was saying where's Rayman? That panic started to rise. Hey Hippo, where's Rayman? Where's Rayman, Hippo? I didn't do nothing. He went out a lot. He took a trip far away to visit distant relatives. He's not coming back. Don't look for him. I think we'll Rayman too. Distraction. That's cute. We had a babysitter and we played Frisbee with the Final Fantasy 8 discs. What a fucking idiot that was. I can't possibly imagine. Wait, what? I was just like... We were just playing Final Fantasy 8 having a great time and he was like, hey, here's a great idea. Let's play Frisbee with the goddamn disc and we were like little kids. You just suggested it? Yeah, he was the one doing it. Am I the kind of guy who's going to play Frisbee with his Final Fantasy 8 disc? Absolutely not. He instigated this madness. I do remember that a guy in our Boy Scout troop he sold me Legend of Dragoon but the third disc was just broken. I remember that. It was like a big fucking deal and I think I had to get my parents to talk to his parents and be like your son sold my son a broken thing and he reluctantly paid me back at some point. That sounds familiar. I remember once, that was like my favorite game but the third disc was broken and I couldn't get past that. And then you, for my birthday, years later got me a new copy of Legend of Dragoon and was the most wonderfully able to beat it. I did. What a cool guy I am. You used money. And you know how I did that? With money. So there you go. I have a new question if we want to talk more about money. Yes, we do. Please. I feel like a video game cast so far with all this Webkin shit. When we mentioned Spoonie, this question popped into my mind. Are there any people who make more money than you think they deserve? Oh my god. Things ain't best-lived. All of us. I think fall into that category. Ben, in the last episode, you said that the market gets to chew money at all like it deserves to because people are willing to pay for it. I have to engage in a little bit of double think here. I know that people will give money to what they value but for me personally even though I like, for example, Jim Sterling, I like him but I think it is outfucking outrageous that he makes $10,000 a month for what he does. That's disgusting. But if people are willing to pay for it what's the problem? But what are they paying for? People just value his opinion that much. You know what it is? People don't actually think that they're doing him any good because he doesn't need more money to do what he does. He's past the point. People just pay for things like that. People pay for creators just because they want to feel their wagon to theirs and feel like they're a part of something. I get that and I won't say that anyone's wrong to do that. It's annoying because some people like me, for example I need money so that I can actually do the things I want to do. You're just giving him money to give him money at that point. That's definitely a frustrating feeling. This isn't really a counter example but then you've got people that what they do is they game the stock market and produce nothing and they just make tons of money and even more like business people who deliberately like... There's worse injustices in this world. I don't really know what my point is. I'm just escalating the scale of this shit gets fucked up at high levels. I was just hoping we would point out people on Patreon and make fun of them. I don't want to talk about stock market. You know that porn lady who makes the high def still images like 30 grand a month, you know her? What's her name? No, but I'm very interested. Suspect. Saki Chen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She draws really like beautiful, shiny like fucking fan art bullshit. Sheads face. Like Ben, I don't begrudge these people for earning their money but considering like I'm trying to personally get to a level just to survive on doing this stuff of course it's just naturally frustrating that I see these people making so much more than they actually need. It is frustrating, that's all. I don't begrudge them but I just I hit some of that shit. I only begrudge people when they're in the same sort of line of work. Does anyone on Patreon I consider, especially like a creator like an artist like this? Say that there's like a load of... I mean everyone knows there's a huge market for porn people. Like if you do porn you're going to get a load of money and you're going to get like a lot more than you would doing something else. So if I'm not doing porn it's not like I can get upset at that. I mean generally. Generally. The opportunity is certainly there, yeah. Well the point is if a video game reviewer of you know is making loads more money than me and I think I'm better than them like a commercial game reviewer I feel it's just a more relevant direction to put rage rather than just at people making money in general. Yeah I mean it's more frustrating when someone when it feels like someone else is getting more for the same thing than you are. Yeah okay that's fair that's fair. Like I don't know like peanut butter gamer the fact that he survives at all. Well Spoonie dude his money is gone. He's making more than most of us. Yeah. I've checked I'm making more than him now and I mean obviously I deserve it because he makes nothing. How much is he making? He's at like $800 right? Yeah I think something yeah that's about right but like he's made nothing for months and you know like he's got his depression or whatever but the point is he is not giving his patrons anything of value so why on earth would he get any money for it? He shouldn't he shouldn't get any money for it. No. You know but like that. He conned these people into thinking if they gave him a certain amount he should make a movie that he has no intention of actually making. I think he's a fucking scam con artist who deserves to give all his money back. I think he's just said some stupid like he's not he doesn't deserve to have like he doesn't deserve to be able to say I'm going to do something because he's just not reliable. Well he doesn't say anything anymore. I think he streams occasionally but I don't even know whether he does that anymore but I guess I don't follow that. Should we consider like a legal contract that these people gave you this much money for this thing that you didn't do? It's like a lie. It is a lie and I really hate that people can just get away with like but I would like to take this moment to reiterate that I have not forgotten about the reward art that I owe people and if any of you out there are like really jonesing for that and like want it in a timely fashion like feel free to tell me but for the but anyway my guilt. How's it any different from how's it any different from a Kickstarter campaign that reaches the goal and then they just run off with the money. You mean like leaving the weave? Ha ha ha ha Yeah well it's in the works. Oh yeah yeah it's coming Don't let Jess listen to this episode. No but it is actually coming though I promise. The thing about stuff like that is the free market or whatever. If people are there's nothing free market about lying and stealing. Yeah but if you're known as a liar and stealer people aren't going to pay money for you anymore. They're known until you already stole their money. I know but that's why I said you can get away with it once but after that you're fucked forever. Well I don't know why you should be allowed to get away with it once. You're not allowed to it's just the way it is. Didn't she actually finish or is like is finishing? She made like three episodes when she promised to do like a million right? When she did it was like three years late and now she's like hosting panels and getting atheists kicked out of panels and it's fucking retarded. And people still trust and love this woman who conned them. Anita is the avatar of feminism and to oppose Anita to people to oppose her. She has just obtained this crown. Well Hilary did nothing wrong and is perfect. For some reason she has this status now where you cannot oppose her and consider like an anti-woman or whatever. I know everyone's already said this but I want to reiterate the people who I think deserve no money are as follows porn artists, porn actors anyone in the adult industry whatsoever. Oh I completely agree with you Munchie. Condom companies. Any sort of birth control companies. What is it? A planned parenthood? Munchie wants to defund a planned parenthood. You know what I really agree I really agree about the porn I want to defund parenthood just normal parenthood. I want to hear what Hippo has to say. I really agree about the porn actors and actresses because they're having sex right? That's hard work in itself for both partners. Yeah bro. Those porn actors probably work harder than we do. No they don't. They bust their ass. They just grow a big penis. Anybody ever see that gif of the dude snapping his dick while he's doing porn? It's pretty brutal. Snaps his fucking dick. What's the music that you're talking about? What do you think it means? Wasn't she writing him and then she went down the wrong way and it snapped his dick in his... Yeah that's right that's what happens. It's fucking brutal. It's literally a thing but it's like yeah it's not good. There's no bones it didn't break it just probably hurt. I mean I don't know maybe you gotta there's no like... What material is your dick made of? It's made of dick meat. It's made of a spongy mucus membrane coiled up into a kind of foam. There's some like muscle in there too so I think maybe it's counseling. My dick's nothing but muscle dude. Yeah of course. I do my kegels every day. I do my cock push ups. Oh wait what's that thing... I do my jelking every fucking day. Dude you joke. But after jelking for a full year my dick is now 1 centimeter longer Is that true? No it's not fucking true. I'm looking into improvements dude. Nothing wrong with that. Alright. I'd love to share my jelking story but it'll have to wait for another day because I gotta go stream twitch.tv.com You gotta go stream jelking live. Ben this isn't live. It's easy to do more. Viewers you'll miss this one today but we'll do more so go sub me Ben you should put those up on Ben and Jackie's college fund. It's a good idea. We might actually put them there and they'll be up on Twitch. It's easy to do. I wanna come on. After this I'm gonna come on. I'll see you soon. I love you all. I love you Ben. He's still hearing. I'm still hearing. What is this shit? Before I go Nate if you wanna penalize me this is entirely your fault. No it's not. I said I have to leave before 7 and then you had technical issues that caused it to run late. So me leaving is due to your technical issues. I would argue that I don't bear more responsibility but I do bear the physical. We can agree on that. Bye bye. Seriously though he's getting docked pay. Can we just have a serious discussion about what we're gonna do about kicking Ben out of the PCP? I think that was the right time. Listen guys I've been sick of Ben shit for a long time. I've been sick of Ben for a while. He doesn't offer into the podcast. He's got nothing interesting to say. He's a big gay. When he edits the episodes I have to write the description for him because he never does. Oh do you do that too? I sure do. All the unfunny ones are from me. I think that the PCP can be shaved down to maybe one person if I really stretch it. Let's just make it the Tom Oliver show. Which person would it be? That's a good idea. It has to be Jeff. It has to be Jeff. Only Jeff has the vision to carry us into the 21st century. Tom has all the attributes of a true PCP member. Depression. Suicidal thoughts. My little pony addiction. What else could you want? Addiction. Okay. Do you have any other points about money or should we just go to the questions? I have money right now. I'm gonna buy a pizza hut after this. I'm gonna buy a whole pizza hut restaurant. Nate speaking of money we're starting money to the PCP Patreon. Oh of course everybody. How can we not lead off with that everybody? Go to the PCP Patreon. Go to patreon.com Patreon.com slash procrastinators or whatever it is. You get for $5 the bonus episode of the PCP every month. All of the you can get access to all of them and also if you pledge at least $1 you get access to the special Discord chat. And we're all in there and we talk to you fuckers like all the time and it's annoying because we love you. It's not just a fucking con. We actually go in there sometimes. And then... And Monkey just had a bunch of questions for our failed PCP episode we just tried to record but they were going to be involved so if you want to be on the show it's another way to do it. That's it I think. Are we good? Yeah I think that's it. Oh and on that Discord like your level of pledge you get like a different color like a really cool guy. So if anybody wants to step up to the plate to be that true handboy $100 per episode tier you will look like a god amongst the sheep. So I'm just letting you know. This is a tangible benefit here. Do we have like shirts yet? The shirts are coming. In fact I was actually thinking that I might sort of film a little intro to this episode because the last one is already edited and just add it there because I'm getting moving I'm getting those up. I gave you the clean the clean shit. You did so I've got everything I need to get like the basic shit rolling. Alright Question time. Here we go. I think that's the conclusion we all have we like money. Money is good. Patreon.com. I think we also decided video games are good and that's pretty much it. Go to twitch.tv and and subscribe to my twitch channel and you get an emote. I have an emote now. Go to twitch.com slash munchie wears tiny hats. I want to get an emote so if you follow me then I will have a better chance of getting an emote one day. That's true. What would your emote be munchie? My emote would just be a one. Of course. A very fancy ornate decorative one. Exactly. Like Paul Veership bro. Oh and to give some closure to last week's episode I did get my youtube channel back so you guys didn't have to do a single thing. Of course I forgot. I got it back before the episode even aired so I was wondering what happened. One week I'm bragging about my subs and when it comes out my channel is gone. Next week I'm complaining that it was deleted but it's already back by the time it airs. We need to stop recording these eight days early. It makes us seem like we're crazy. Everyone has enough time to edit them. I guess so. Let's go to the questions. I'm just going to acknowledge as a block everyone's asking these questions about what is or isn't gay. Let's do an episode about that shit. We're going to do a bonus episode about that. I thought we were going to do a bonus episode about what's gay. By far the most popular questions we get every single week are about like is it gay to suck your own dick? Are traps gay? I think it's the number one question. I've deliberately avoided them because I don't give a shit but you're finally going to get your answer. If you become a patron the bonus episode is about this stuff. Did you listen to the Unsufferable Social Media Argument podcast? We already answered all those questions. Nobody cares about that podcast. That's the shitty podcast. That's like the arm retrieval of your channel. Oh no. It's true. That comes out at the end of the month. That would be probably a week from this when you hear it. Here we go. That's a terrible question. Nope. That's shit. Here we go. It's my buddy Haileo. My music guy. Top 10 hottest Sonic characters. Let's... I got to go with Rouge. She's fucking gross. She's a woman and she likes sex. What the fuck are you thinking? Here Gib's hilarious joke. Ryuka Matoi because she looks like a shadow. That's funny. I'm laughing. What about Sonic himself? He's pretty hot. Sonic's pretty hot. He doesn't have enough teeth. No wait. Sonichu, of course. Roast chew. The whole pantheon is available to us. A Roast Bubbles chew. Angel Chew or whatever her name is. Angelica Rose Chew. I don't know who the hottest is who hates sex but whoever has the guy who has the most justice and valor pulsing through his veins is Vex, the alligator. What about that little bumblebee? I like that fucking alligator. That guy's a fucking faggot. He's a bee. I hate bees. They're worthless. He's a punk ass bitch. Drop his fucking lights out. I like the robot specifically from Sonic Heroes. Is that Mel Sonichu? No, it's the robot that was with Shadow and Rouge or something. Oh, that guy from Adventure Battle 2 or whatever. That guy was cool. Alright, forget this shit. This is a gay question. Here we go. AtDynyle227 asks if you could restart life from birth while retaining all the memories and skills you have now would you? No changing major events. What a shitty question. That ruins the whole question. I want to be the baby who predicted 9-11 and called George Bush on the phone the morning of and said Mr. President, sir, they're about to attack the Twin Towers and then he just replies. I know. Oh my god. That's my fan fiction. I've had a thought about this for years. Does everybody remember the movie Jumanji? The old one, not the new one with the rocket shit. So at the end of Jumanji after they finally win, 40 years later or something Robin Williams grew up so after that thing happened so Robin Williams spent that whole time since he was a kid in the deepest, darkest jungle in Jumanji and he survived and you know he did this whole thing so like he didn't really learn anything about real life but he did become a real boy like he's you know a big, fighty action jungle man so that's cool but that other lady like the lady that was his like childhood friend who grew up and they finished the game together like that lady lived to be like 35 or 45 or whatever like a middle aged woman having gone through society seeing everything that happened in the real world she knows everything and we saw at the end of Jumanji when like that year those time just passes normally when they meet those kids again like they remember everything that happened so this woman knows every major thing that happened during the time between like the 70s and like 2000 or whatever Jumanji came out so like why is this woman not the richest person on the planet controlling everything major that happens because she understands she can predict every single event that happened why didn't that happen because that's back to the future it's a different movie I'm just, she should have been the god Busted, that's the future speaking of shit like that speaking of shit like that you ever know the Lion Witch and the Wardrobe where the kids they I'm talking about the original movie I don't know whether the other movie has this but they'd live in that world for fucking years and they grow old and they're like late 30s or something, kings and lords ladies and then they go back and they find the wardrobe again they come back through and their kids again in World War II and I'm thinking they know what sex is and now they're little children what's gonna go, what's gonna happen there'll be child pornographers of course the only good porn actor is a child porn actor an inception Leo DiCaprio and his wife lived in the limbo area of the dream world for like 80 fully years so technically he's been alive for like a fucking 130 years, it's crazy sort of, but yeah, it's true it's pretty goofy shit what was the question I can't remember why is Jumanji the greatest movie okay now let's move on to the next question because I'm a level 7 Christ consciousness member I've actually been alive for 6,000 years and I've watched humans of all our time and I just have to say that it's pretty good and I knew nine levels was gonna happen but I just wanted it to happen I didn't want it to happen you wanted the holocaust to happen yeah, I mean, I don't know it's pretty funny I find that interesting don't you think millions of people die even loose those seatbelts, it's pretty interesting alright, I got a question would you rather live for 100 years or live 10 100 million thousand years but it's the same year over and over again definitely that, definitely that one for sure because I can speedrun that shit plus there are billions of people you'll never get bored because you can always find a new person to fuck or mess with there's tons of stuff you can do even living the same way I might freak out and lose my sanity at some point but I'm willing to gamble that don't you think after 30 years there's a lot of art to consume there's no new art being created you can just work on creating it yourself you can evolve yourself I'm not entertained by watching my own art but you can watch people react to your increasingly good art as you learn new shit you just want to read youtube comments for 100 million years it doesn't have to be youtube, you can become a fucking sculptor you can change the world, you can become an economic genius you gotta do it within one year that's not even that long but you can spend those millions and billions of years over and over those things that will allow you to speedrun that shit yeah but I think I would just get bored showing things off, like I want to watch the next Avengers movie and I couldn't do that the thing is though, yeah you might get bored just with people's reaction because you know what they're going to do but I don't know, I'd give it a shot what happens if you die in this theoretical hypothetical thing do you start the year over you no, because then that would be a way to cheat if you just want to get through them it's a very suicide method and see which one's the best I could perfect it how about if you kill yourself for the rest of the year, you're conscious you can feel like yourself decomposing and then when you get to the end of the year you just reset so you're still conscious for the whole year that's fine, all I want to do is just assassinate the president over and over again so I would find the best way to assassinate the president dude, don't talk about Hillary that way it's a sin to talk about Hillary that way his name was Seth Rich, god damn it and I'm just going to his name was Seth Rich hey guys, welcome to Twitch is my new speedrun killing Donald J Trump no I hope you enjoy let's move on, here's a question that shouldn't be asked so I'm just going to ask it to clarify it at Read or Darrell asks what is the current status of Jeff as a member of the PCP was he really kicked out and banished to the phantom zone of the PCP guys, we had just a simple parting of ways, because Jeff was doing his own thing and he left it really was simple, like we joke about it because it's funny there wasn't really like any big deal it was just sort of, he didn't talk in the chat and he was like you're not really a member of us of our stupid gay group I saw Jeff at Anime Expo and he was delighted to see me and I was delighted to see him he's a good guy okay, so that's done, let's move on by at poor sailing god what chomsa characters each member most like no, skip, terrible question what do you mean, I like homestuck I hate homestuck I want to know fine, answer the shitty question poor sailing god, your question is shit god, mean I'm most like lord english look at him no, you're like little you're like little caliborn yeah, I am like caliborn, because I hate women and I hate sex I'm most like equius, of course my hero, my god I drink I love equius more than you love being alive munchie, I love everything on a new level, it is possible and I am proved yeah, okay, good are you visca, are you gay for yourself? no, I'm not I'm more like Tavros no, no, I'm more like John or Terezi either one of those you are a trickster god like Terezi a trickster god a god of trickery give and take just a sheer psychological genius I'd be more interested to see what other people think I am because I don't know how to Tavros no, alright you're not Tavros, this is what you got you're dirt, because you're gay as fuck oh my god Nate, you're like dirt I am like dirt I am pretty like dirt, literally gay which of these stupid characters am I uh, caliborn no, no, no, I think he's grown up learning English, he's a real trickster no, fucking aridon he is aridon, literally the worst guy of all that's definitely him that's definitely him no, aridon is a psycho who kills his friends and is just a generally bad person he's literally a mixtow he's literally a fucking mixtow Elliot Roger person I have to read this just for this hero character you should check him out, he's pretty great I think you'll like what you see he literally shoots up his fucking friends because some person won't go out with him he literally shoots up his entire race he shoots up his entire race he destroys his entire fucking race because some girl won't go out with him I always thought I was more of an Itachi Uchiha yeah, my favorite homestuck character garbage you are gay bugs, good, bad or important by jade morrow bugs are great didn't we answer that last time, jane I would expect better from you, I'm deeply disappointed with this shitty question maybe he's looking at a question from last week that might not have been released yet so in that case I apologize jade that's true you fucking bully I love jade, she's great what else we got here no, that's terrible these are all bad let's do one more good one and go to bed because I've been here for three hours okay, here we go oh, it's another one from at porous saline god so here's a chance to redeem yourself what's the worst porn you ever accidentally saw oh, oh that would be the first porn I ever saw which okay, I was google imaging I'm not fucking joking when I say this funny simpsons images I googled that and I was just scrolling through like I got to page like fucking 60 I just could not get enough of the funny simpsons images and eventually I came across this was the first porn I ever saw and I felt so bad when I saw it it was a cuck image of Bart fucking Lisa and millhouse crying in the background wow that's great I'm the one who drew that I can't believe you found it I know it was sublime oh god, all of that simpsons stuff it's like one guy who does it I don't know who does it it's monkey jones I've seen that as well I think that's probably the same it's just so bad and after I saw it for the first time I literally cried because I was like I saw sex I know what sex is now was this last week? this was actually in the future it hasn't happened the worst porn I've ever found was also the best porn I've ever found and that was the legendary pain olympics of yesteryear I was gonna bring that up god damn it so nominal stuff back in the old days on spankwire.com there was a video known just as the spankwire video that was named after the website but it's really just a compilation of the best of the pain olympics and it had some good shit in it a lot of which was inspiration for things that I detail in the triflers word yep this isn't actually bad at all but it's the only thing I can think of it was kind of bad just by sheer volume there was this website that was shortly for a very short lived amount of time was free I think it still exists it was called pink tube and basically what it was was it was amazing it was a wall of porn and it would scroll past you and like there would be previews of every single one playing at the same time and all you would have to do is either highlight one with your mouse or click on it and it would blow it up and make it big and like you could watch that and then as soon as you were bored you could close that and it would keep on going and there would just be infinite numbers of them it was amazing but they were all great it wasn't bad at all so that's not relevant I got nothing just images Gibb, do you have anything to to top this off? I don't know about accidental porn I bet you see some freaking risks there's no, that's always deliberate what are you talking about yeah fair point I guess there's a couple times where I was just on Google and I clicked on an image before like Google could block stuff like this And it redirected to a page of, like, old people having sex and blowing each other. Like, old gay guys. I'm like, oh. And it was like, enjoy your porn, asshole. And I wasn't even clicking on porn. It was just like an image of, like, not even anything. And it just redirected me to gay old man sex. You talking lemon party? Lemon party, of course. It wasn't quite that. Because I also saw that, and I'm like, god damn it, why do the people keep putting this on the internet? Lemon party's cute. I think those old men are adorable. Yeah, they're just having fun. I didn't like it because I'm not old. Yeah, yeah. Also, everybody should check out the offended page on Encyclopedia Dramatica. They have some good stuff, too. Sick. Can I just shout out just, this isn't even a room we need to go into, but at Nyan Kwan asks a question, glasses hot or not? And I just like that it's a picture of a girl with glasses. So like, I think we know, she's got a bit of a dog in this fight, I think. No, you're probably hideous bitch. Everyone knows I'm a well-known glasses fetishist. So there you go, you know where I'm at. Okay, that's it. No need to go into that any further. Alright, we're all done, everybody. Wait, wait, wait, no, no. The best question of all time. Okay. Holy shit, that's actually a real question. Dude, what the fuck? That's the worst question I've ever seen in my life. We've already done questions about pairing all of us off until like the ones you're pairing. It has to be Jeff. It's Jeff X Jeff. Jeff X Jeff is just super. Jeff and I know like the two non-PCP members. Oh, there we go. Yeah, that's a match between them. And they're both racist. Of course. What about Psy and his fedora, that's the ultimate PCP couple. Psy and Monkey is my favorite. I'm down with that, that's good. Also Gib and me, that's my favorite. Okay, there you go everybody, I'm literally gay. All right, here we go. It's dinner time. It's dinner time. Hey, thanks for watching, everybody. Thanks for sending us questions. We use at TPCrasnators, this is our Twitter, but you don't have to use that. You can just use hashtag askPCP if you want to send questions. We do this every fucking Saturday, more or less. But hey, who knows? You might send out a one every once in a while. So subscribe to the Twitter, just so you can fucking see that shit. All right, we're done. Thanks for listening, everybody. We will see you next week with another one. Money, money, money, money, money. Get the bonus episodes. Become a patron. So you can hear the goddamn bonus episodes. We just did best dogs. That's it out, and we'll do another one soon. All right, bye everybody. Money, money, money, money, money. Brownies. All right, done.